Title: Keeper of My Soul
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email:
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Bagoas/Cassander and Alexander/Hephaistion
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Who outwits who?
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning: AU of course.
Beta read by Patricia and DA, thanks sweeties!
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Keeper of My Soul
Cassander gnashed his teeth. He couldn’t believe that Alexander was
forcing him to stay behind in the encampment while the King and his men charged
the enemy. He deserved to fight in the frontline as well beside Alexander,
Crateros, and even Hephaistion, who always watched Alexander’s back. But no,
Alexander wanted him to secure the camp. Cassander was tempted to speak up, but
managed to hold his tongue just in time. The last time he had objected to one
of Alexander’s decisions, the King had called him on it and pushed him against
the wall in anger. Alexander had made perfectly clear who was in charge.
Since he wasn’t going to take part in the upcoming attack, Cassander’s
thoughts started to drift toward Alexander’s newest toy: the eunuch Bagoas.
Bagoas stood at a respectful distance from Alexander, waiting to act on any
command the King might give. Bagoas was the perfect lapdog as far as Cassander
was concerned. There were rumors that the eunuch was in love with Alexander,
but Cassander didn’t believe them. A calculated look always lay beneath the
supposed adoring gaze. Cassander didn’t know that much about Bagoas, but he
recognized a kindred soul when he saw one. They both turned to manipulation
when the situation called for it.
Alexander finally finished explaining his plans to his Generals and
dismissed them. Cassander made his way over to the exit of the tent, but not
before seeing Bagoas hurry to Alexander’s side to do his bidding. For one brief
moment, their gazes met and Cassander saw that calculating look again. He
couldn’t fault the eunuch for manipulating Alexander into making the King
believe that he loved him. It was a way to ensure his safety and his survival.
An idea came to Cassander then. Maybe he would use Alexander’s absence to get
to know Bagoas better, since the eunuch had also been ordered to stay in the
camp. Yes, that was an excellent idea.
~~~
“Hurry up.
Cassander has requested your presence.”
Bagoas tried
hard not to show his apprehension when the guard addressed him. Ever since he
had felt Cassander’s eyes upon him earlier that day, he had been afraid
something like this might happen. Since Alexander was away, Cassander was in
charge and it wouldn’t do to ignore Cassander’s summons. If Cassander wanted
to, the other man could have him brought before him bound and Bagoas wanted to
prevent that from happening. He simply did what he always did: he would submit
to Cassander’s whims and endure whatever it was the other man wanted from him. The
guard suddenly reached for him and tried to grab hold of his arm. “I will come
along with you. Do not touch me,” Bagoas protested.
The guard
wasn’t impressed and simply pulled Bagoas along. “Alexander isn’t here now. Do
you really think anyone gives a damn about what you want?”
Bagoas’ eyes
flashed dangerously, but he made sure the guard didn’t notice that. He kept his
gaze lowered for he had long since learned that a submissive attitude served
him best. He followed the guard to Cassander’s tent, which stood at the
outskirts of the camp. Bagoas had a pretty good idea what Cassander wanted from
him and mentally tried to prepare himself for what was
to come. He had been raped repeatedly in his short life and although he would
never quite readily accept being humiliated and hurt that way, he *had* learned
how to deal with the pain. Cassander wouldn’t break him. No one would. He
wouldn’t allow anyone to destroy him that way.
The guard released
the hold he had on his arm after pushing Bagoas past the fabric that shielded
the inside from curious eyes. Bagoas wondered if he should look about and try
to find out what Cassander had in store for him or if he should keep his gaze
lowered submissively.
Cassander’s
gaze had fastened upon Bagoas’ form the moment the eunuch had entered his tent.
Bagoas looked exotic, but then the younger man always did. Long, raven hair
descended down an elegant back, slim shoulders, and bare chest. The large, brown
eyes were open, but the gaze was directed at the ground. They were outlined
with black kohl and Cassander even saw a hint of rouge on the cheeks. Bagoas
wore silken, red trousers that were see-through even. The eunuch breathed an
air of compliance, but Cassander didn’t let himself be fooled. He remained on
guard.
Once they were
alone, Bagoas remained motionless and continued to stare at the ground. It was
safer for him that way. He would wait for Cassander to address him and make his
‘request’ known. The other man had probably been biding his time for a while
and since Alexander had left, Cassander believed his time to act had come.
Cassander
studied Bagoas for another moment and sensed the tension building in the
eunuch. It was time to address Bagoas or else he might startle the younger man.
“Sit down, Bagoas.” He gestured toward the camp bed that stood to Bagoas’
right.
Bagoas
swallowed hard and sat down. He kept his gaze averted though. His heart beat rapidly
and he wondered just how painful this was going to be.
“Do you drink
wine?” Cassander poured some watered down wine for himself
and then waited for Bagoas to answer him.
“If it pleases
you,” Bagoas whispered diplomatically. He still didn’t look at Cassander and
tried to calm down his raging nerves. Was Cassander into playing games? Pretend
everything was fine, act friendly, and then, unexpectedly pounce on him? He
preferred for his future rapist to simply get it over with.
Cassander read
between the lines. “You don’t… Normally.”
Bagoas shyly
nodded his head, but didn’t speak. He knew only too well that Cassander was in
charge.
Cassander
reached for a water skin and poured some into a goblet, which he then handed
Bagoas. “Drink,” he ordered. He hoped that drinking some water would calm Bagoas
down. It was obvious that the eunuch expected to be hurt and, although
Cassander wanted to reassure him, he felt awkward to speak those words aloud.
What was he supposed to say? Calm down? I won’t take you by force? That would
be more than awkward: it would be embarrassing!
Bagoas forced
himself to wrap his fingers around the goblet and stared into the transparent
liquid before sipping it. Had Cassander drugged it?
“You must be
wondering why I sent for you.” Cassander placed some grilled meat onto a second
plate. He added some fruit to it and then shoved it over the ground toward
Bagoas’ feet. “Eat something. You are skinny.” Alexander might like Bagoas
skinny, but he didn’t.
Bagoas finally
dared to quickly peek at Cassander. He tried to read the expression in the
other man’s startling blue eyes, but what he found there surprised him. There
was no malice in them. Cassander didn’t have that predatory expression that
most of his former rapists had had. Bagoas forced himself to chew on some of
the grilled meat. It was rare for him to eat on command. Not even Alexander
managed to make him compliant. “I am curious,” he whispered, judging it best to
reply.
Cassander
liked hearing Bagoas’ voice. The eunuch seldom spoke and when he did, it was
always meant for Alexander’s ears only. “I know nothing about you, Bagoas, and
I am curious. Indulge me...tell me your history.”
Bagoas was so
surprised that he stared at Cassander wide-eyed. He was about to ask Cassander
to repeat what he had just said when he saw the other man nod. Apparently,
Cassander was really serious. Bagoas had been convinced that Cassander had
wanted him there for different reasons. “But why?” Too
late did he realize that he had questioned a superior and quickly lowered his gaze.
“I am curious,
Bagoas. I want to know how you got to be here. Tell me.” Cassander sipped his
wine and studied his guest. Bagoas looked like he was trapped. “How did you
become a eunuch, Bagoas?”
Bagoas
couldn’t believe Cassander had asked him that. No one had ever asked him that
before! Not even Alexander! He swirled the water around in his goblet and
realized he couldn’t reject Cassander’s request. After all, the other man was
his superior – his only present superior. There was no Alexander around to
protect him. “My family fell into disgrace and was killed. Since I was only a
child, I was sold off to a slave trader and made into a eunuch. I was *lucky*.
I should have died during the raid as well.”
Cassander
placed his glass aside and leaned in closer so he could study Bagoas better.
“Did it hurt?”
Bagoas let his
hair fall in front of his face, not wanting Cassander to see the anguish in his
eyes. “Yes, it did. I thought I was going to die.” Why was Cassander asking him
these questions? Did the other man find some perverse pleasure in making him
remember? “I ran a fever after the wound got infected.”
Cassander
cringed involuntarily at the thought of something like that happening to him.
“You must be very strong to have survived such an ordeal.” That got Bagoas’
attention and the eunuch looked at him with less trepidation in his eyes. “I
mean it,” Cassander added.
Bagoas didn’t
know how to react to that. “I had no choice,” he said eventually. “Everything
was decided for me. I belonged to my owner. I still do.” He sipped some of the
water and tried to control his raging emotions. He didn’t want to remember any
of this!
Cassander hadn’t
expected their conversation to upset Bagoas and regretted having forced the
eunuch to relive his memories, but he still wanted to hear more. “What happened
after that?”
“I was sold
and…” Bagoas knew that refusing to tell Cassander might earn him some sort of
painful discipline, but this had taken him completely by surprise and he wasn’t
ready to tell his tale at that time. “I am sorry. I can’t.”
“I am sorry
that this conversation makes you feel uncomfortable. That was not my
intention.” Cassander walked toward Bagoas. Originally he had planned to seat
himself next to the eunuch on the bed, but then he saw Bagoas flinch and reconsidered.
He seated himself cross-legged on the ground instead. He swirled the red wine
in his glass and then looked at Bagoas, searching his eyes.
Bagoas had
briefly raised his head, but since Cassander was looking at him, he quickly
lowered his gaze. He didn’t know what to make of Cassander. So far, Cassander
hadn’t shown any predatory characteristics, but one could never be sure. He
wanted to ask Cassander why the other man had demanded his presence, but he
would never address a superior like that.
Cassander read
the questions in Bagoas’ eyes and tried to answer them. “I am not going to take
advantage of you, Bagoas. I did not want to speak those words aloud, but you
are not giving me a choice. I do not want you to feel scared in my presence.”
Bagoas gasped
and met Cassander’s gaze. “Why then did you ask for my company?”
“Because I
believe we are kindred spirits.” His cryptic remark puzzled Bagoas, Cassander
could clearly see that, but he had no intention of elaborating. “You are
trembling,” he whispered, stunned by that discovery.
Bagoas
shivered violently. “It is because I do not know what to expect from you. You
are so different from my other masters.”
Cassander
rested a hand on Bagoas’ knee and squeezed it. The gesture was meant to soothe,
but Bagoas looked at his hand like it was a snake about to strike and kill him.
“I hope I am nothing like Darius or Alexander for that matter.”
Cassander
started to pull him onto the floor and, although Bagoas’ heart raced, he
complied and knelt on the floor next to the slightly older man. He kept his
gaze trained on the floor and waited. What he waited for, he didn’t know… He
had no choice at any rate. He was the slave and Cassander his temporary master.
Cassander
raised his arm and slid his fingers into Bagoas’ perfumed mane. The raven hair
felt like silk between his fingertips and caressing it brought Cassander
pleasure. He used minimal pressure to turn Bagoas’ head in his direction and
then requested, “Look at me…please.”
The 'please'
that Cassander added confused Bagoas, who involuntarily obeyed and looked the
older man in the eye. He grew hopeful that Cassander would be gentle with him
and wouldn’t hurt him like other men had. It was inevitable that Cassander
would eventually claim him. He had seen that look before and knew what it
meant.
Cassander
leaned in closer, slid his hand around Bagoas’ neck, and cupped the raven head
in his palm. He inched closer and touched his lips to the eunuch’s.
Being kissed
was the last thing Bagoas had expected to happen and he didn’t know how to
react to it. Cassander had taken him by surprise and he surrendered, like he
always did. But this time, it was different. No one had ever kissed him before
– not Alexander and certainly not Darius. This was his first kiss and he
wondered why Cassander was bothering with kissing him when he could claim him
at any rate.
Cassander’s
tongue pressed against his lips and Bagoas parted his mouth. He should close
his eyes, for it was disrespectful to stare at Cassander like he was, but he
couldn’t help himself. The kissing overwhelmed him and was setting his senses
on fire as it continued and deepened before Cassander pressed his upper body
against his. The other man’s arms wrapped him up in an embrace and Bagoas
panted when Cassander finally released his lips. “You kissed me,” he whispered
in surprise.
Cassander
smiled. “I hope you enjoyed being kissed because I certainly did.” Seeing the
surprise in Bagoas’ dark eyes, Cassander wondered why it was there. “You did
not expect for that to happen.”
Bagoas
swallowed hard and forgot everything he had been taught. “Why did you do that?”
He cocked his head and stared at Cassander in shock.
Cassander
frowned. “Are you telling me that you have never been kissed before, Bagoas?”
“Would you find
that hard to believe?” Bagoas quickly covered his mouth with his hand. “I am
sorry… I did not mean to question you.”
“I do not
mind,” Cassander answered quickly. “Was that your first kiss?”
Bagoas nodded
his head once. “It is not custom to kiss someone like me. I am there to…slake
your lust…not to be kissed like that.” He bowed his head and stared at the
floor. Cassander played with a strand of his hair and Bagoas wondered what he
was supposed to do next. Cassander unbalanced him.
“You are
looking out for yourself. I understand that. Is that the reason you let
Alexander believe you are in love with him?” It was a bold question and
Cassander didn’t know what kind of answer to expect. “Do not deny that you are
merely acting like that. I know what that expression entails when you look at
him. I understand why you do it. You need to secure your survival – your
safety.”
Bagoas’ first
reaction had been to lie to Cassander and proclaim he loved Alexander, but then
it occurred to him that the older man knew him better than he had thought
possible. “Can you blame me for acting like that?”
Cassander
shook his head. “I do not. I know that it is all about survival. I had to
manipulate people during most of my life too.”
Bagoas grew
bold and looked Cassander in the eye. He had to know… “Why are you bringing
this up now?”
“I want to
know the truth. Do you love him?”
Bagoas slowly
shook his head. “I do not.” He loved no one. He wasn’t even sure he could love
unconditionally – not after everything he had been through.
One of
Cassander’s hands moved down Bagoas’ back. “It will be a while before Alexander
returns to the camp. It might be days, weeks, or months even.”
Bagoas
trembled at the touch. Cassander’s hand rested at the small of his back and
rubbed his skin there. “I know that. I take it you will demand my presence in
your bed during his absence?”
Cassander
blinked. “So forward…so bold.” His eyes smiled and he
pulled Bagoas close. “Would you deny me, Bagoas?”
Bagoas shook
his head once. “It is not within my power to deny you. You are in charge during
Alexander’s absence and therefore my superior. I am bound to obey you.”
Bagoas’ answer
displeased Cassander. “I did not think you that submissive, Bagoas. I thought
you would fight me over this.” He was surprised that Bagoas would give into him
that easily.
“Fight you?
And get hurt in the process? I learned my lesson well in the past. I would
never oppose my master.” He bowed his head and let his hair shield his face
from Cassander’s inquisitive gaze.
“Get into bed,
Bagoas.”
Bagoas
blinked. Cassander sounded displeased. That had not been his intention. He
quickly obeyed and stretched out on his back. He tried to mentally prepare
himself for what was to come, but he failed.
Cassander
pulled up the blanket and tucked it around Bagoas’ form. “Stay there.”
Bagoas’ eyes
widened. Cassander was moving away from the bed! What game was the other man
playing? He knew he shouldn’t beg, but he had endured so much in the past and
simply wanted it over with. “Please do it now. I won’t fight you, but
please…don’t make me wait.”
Confused,
Cassander turned around and frowned at Bagoas. “Make you wait for what?”
“Claiming me.” Bagoas shivered and moistened his lips. His mouth had gone dry
and his fingers clawed at the blanket.
Cassander
shook his head. “I already told you that I am not going to take you. Certainly not against your will.”
Bagoas’
emotions got the better of him and he sat upright. “Why then did you demand my
presence?”
“Because I wanted to get to know you!” Exasperated, Cassander returned to the
field bed and sat on his heels so they were level and could look into each
other’s eyes. “I am not going to rape you, Bagoas.”
Bagoas panted
hard and stared at Cassander in disbelief. “I will play along if that is what
you want.”
“I am being
honest, Bagoas. I am not going to touch you that way.” Cassander hoped he was
finally getting through to Bagoas. He had several reasons for Bagoas staying
with him. One of them was the way the soldiers had talked about Bagoas when
they had thought Cassander wasn’t listening. They had talked about ‘getting a
taste of that slave boy’s ass’ and he wasn’t going to
let that happen. Another reason was his genuine interest in Bagoas. He was
convinced they *were* kindred spirits. “I want you to stay here while Alexander
is away. I want you to sleep in my bed and to share my food. I do not want you
to go outside alone.”
“I will obey.”
He was relieved that he had found a protector in Cassander. He had never thought
the other man would want to look out for him. He didn’t have to hear the
soldiers talk to know what they had planned for him.
“Now try to
sleep. I will join you in a bit, but don’t fear me. I won’t hurt you.” He
needed to make his rounds and, once he was convinced the camp was safe, he
would join Bagoas. Bagoas nodded and then closed his eyes.
Bagoas didn’t
go to sleep right away. He listened to Cassander rummaging about in the tent
and then heard fabric moving in the wind. The General had obviously left the
tent and Bagoas risked opening his eyes. Yes, he was alone. He didn’t plan on
fleeing the tent however. Whatever Cassander had planned for him couldn’t be
worse than falling into the hands of the soldiers.
~~~
Cassander
returned an hour later and Bagoas was still awake when the older man entered
the tent. Cassander brought with him fresh, cool air, and Bagoas shivered
beneath the blanket. At night, it cooled down considerably.
Cassander
undressed and climbed naked into bed with Bagoas. The eunuch didn’t fool him:
Bagoas’ fast breathing informed him that the younger man was still awake. “Move
over a bit.”
“I can leave
the bed if you prefer to have it to yourself,” Bagoas replied as he opened his
eyes.
“No, stay. We will share our body heat.” Cassander resolutely wrapped his
arms around Bagoas and pulled him close. The bed was just big enough to hold
the two of them. There wasn’t much room left to maneuver in. “Stay like that.”
Cassander guided Bagoas’ head to rest against his shoulder and held him
loosely. “You feel warm… I like that.” Bagoas would warm him up.
Bagoas didn’t
know what was expected from him, but he did wrap his arms around Cassander, who
felt cold.
“That is
nice,” Cassander commented as he closed his eyes. It had been a while since he
had shared his bed with someone.
Feeling
encouraged by Cassander’s words, Bagoas started to warm Cassander up by rubbing
his back. He hoped the older man wouldn’t consider his actions too bold. “I do
not understand you.” The words escaped him before he could stop them and he
felt mortified, for uttering them went against all the teachings he had ever
received.
“You do not
have to.” Cassander tucked Bagoas’ head beneath his chin and sighed
contentedly. “Alexander had better be careful. I might steal you away from him.”
Cassander’s
words only served to puzzle Bagoas further. He really had no idea what to make
of Cassander’s actions.
~~~
The next
morning, Bagoas woke when he felt watched. He expected Cassander to be eyeing
him, but to his dismay, he found one of the guards leering at him. He flinched
and tried to escape the predatory stare, but since Cassander still had his arms
wrapped around him, he had nowhere to go.
“Pretty…” the
guard whispered and he made obscene moves as he pretended to fuck him.
Cassander,
trained to awaken at the first sign of trouble, opened his eyes and couldn’t
believe what he was seeing. “Get out!” he snarled at the startled guard, who
quickly left the tent. He seethed with rage, but stopped himself from going
after the soldier. “How dare he!”
Bagoas
swallowed and then lifted his gaze to look at Cassander’s face. The older man
looked enraged. “Why are you upset?”
“Because…”
Cassander forced himself to calm down. “You might be used to them treating you
like that, but I refuse to let something like that continue!”
That Cassander
was so protective of him surprised Bagoas. “They see me for what I am. I am a
whore…”
“Not if I have
anything to say about it!” Cassander pushed back the blanket and sat upright.
With only the blanket wrapped around his waist, he marched outside.
Bagoas could
hear Cassander scold the guard and his confusion mounted. Why was Cassander
angry about the truth? He *was* a whore – a slave. It was as simple as that.
Cassander
marched back inside and flung the blanket away from him. He started to dress
himself and ignored Bagoas for the moment.
Bagoas pushed
himself upright and brought his knees close to his chest. He wrapped his arms
around his knees and stared at Cassander in mounting confusion. Only then did he
realize that he was still wearing his trousers. Contrary to Cassander, he
hadn’t been naked when they had slept so close. He had never been in any
danger.
Looking up,
Cassander saw Bagoas’ confused expression. He wished he could help Bagoas
understand, but the truth was that he didn’t understand his protective feelings
toward Bagoas himself. A servant brought breakfast and Cassander gestured for
Bagoas to share the food with him. “Eat.”
Bagoas nibbled
on some fruit and bread and watched Cassander closely. For some reason,
Cassander no longer intimidated him. Sleeping in the other man’s arms the other
night had taken his fears away.
“Stay inside.
I don’t trust the soldiers where you are concerned.”
Bagoas nodded.
“I don’t trust them either.”
“I told them
that you are off limits to them, but I can’t be sure they will obey.” This
vexed Cassander for he had to leave in order to check the camp’s security
arrangements. “If they touch you, they will answer to me. They know that. I am
counting on them being too cowardly to challenge me on that.” Cassander removed
a long knife from a sheath and handed it to Bagoas. “I want you to defend
yourself if the situation calls for it.”
Bagoas stared
at the knife. “Can I do that? I am a slave. Am I allowed to defend myself?”
Angrily,
Cassander glared at him. “You *will* defend yourself, you hear me? Don’t let me
find out otherwise!”
Bagoas nodded.
“I will defend myself then.”
Cassander
finished breakfast and dressed himself. “I should be back before
Bagoas rose
from the bed and bowed when Cassander moved over to the exit. “I will do as you
command.”
“I only want
what is best for you,” Cassander muttered under his breath. “I don’t want you
to get hurt.”
Bagoas nodded
again. “I will defend myself.”
“Good. Make
sure you are unharmed when I return. If you need to injure one of the guards to
stay in one piece, do so.” Cassander inclined his head and then left the tent,
leaving a totally flabbergasted Bagoas standing there.
~~~
“So… You think
you are safe now that Cassander has taken you under his wing? I wouldn’t count
on it.”
Bagoas cried
out, half in rage, half in terror when the guard lunged for him. He reached for
the knife, but it was out of his reach and greedy hands pulled at the fabric of
his trousers, easily ripping the material.
“No!” He
screamed the word and sat upright in bed with a start. His body was covered in
sweat, a headache was building behind his temples, and he felt nauseous. The
gods help him, but he was going to throw up. That nightmare had been so real
and he had *felt* the guard’s rough hands on his body. Unable to stop himself,
he began to throw up.
At that
moment, Cassander entered the tent. Everything had gone well. The camp was
secure and he had posted sentries to make sure it stayed that way. The last
thing he expected to find upon returning to his tent was Bagoas being sick. He
grabbed hold of a bowl and placed it at Bagoas’ lips so the eunuch wouldn’t
soil the ground. “Calm down,” he whispered and seated himself on the bed. He
pulled back the raven hair and established a hold on the eunuch, who was about
to topple over.
Bagoas rode
out the round of heaves that tormented him and slowly regained control. The
nightmare had been so real!
“That's it. Calm down, Bagoas. You had a nightmare, didn’t you? Don’t
worry. You are quite safe with me.” Once the heaving had stopped, Cassander
placed the bowl aside and bellowed for one of the guards to bring him cool
water and a wash cloth.
“Bad dream,
yes,” Bagoas muttered in-between shakily drawn in breaths.
A moment later
the guard appeared and placed a bowl with water and the wash cloth beside the
bed. To Bagoas’ relief it wasn’t the guard whose face had tormented him in his
nightmare.
Cassander
reached for the wash cloth and immersed it in the cool water. Then he placed it
against Bagoas’ heated brow and swept away the feverish sweat that had formed
upon the eunuch’s face. “Please calm down.”
Bagoas nodded
and allowed himself to lean against Cassander’s form.
“I am sorry. Normally I do not…” Normally he didn’t have such nightmares.
“Don’t worry
about it.” Cassander wiped the sweat from Bagoas’ face and then placed the wash
cloth aside. He reached for the carafe filled with water, poured some into a cup,
and placed it at Bagoas’ lips. “Rinse…”
Bagoas obeyed
and rinsed his mouth, spitting the water into a bowl. His feverish eyes sought
out Cassander’s. “No one ever…” No one had ever done something like that
before. “It is not your task to take care of me. I should be taking care of you
instead.”
“I don’t
mind.” Cassander filled the glass again and encouraged Bagoas to drink. “Sip
slowly.”
Bagoas sipped
the water and continued to study Cassander. Why was the other man doing this?
Cassander didn’t have to look after him.
Cassander
folded one of his traveling cloaks and made it into a neat pillow for Bagoas to
recline against. “Rest.” He lowered Bagoas back onto
the bed and studied the younger man. “Did something happen during my absence?”
Bagoas
understood Cassander’s question perfectly. “No one sought me out. No one
touched me. It was just a bad dream.”
“Just a bad dream?” Cassander gave Bagoas a look that told the eunuch that he didn’t
quite believe him. “Then why were you panicking and throwing up when I found
you?”
“I had a bad
dream. Someone was…raping me.” Bagoas had no reason to lie to Cassander. “I do
not know why it made me react so violently.”
Cassander
looked at Bagoas in amazement. “I would panic if I dreamt that someone was
trying to rape me!”
Bagoas
carefully shrugged his shoulders. “It happened to me many times. It shouldn’t
affect me that way any longer.”
Cassander
gnashed his teeth. How could Bagoas react so calmly? Since he didn’t want to
upset Bagoas further, he remained silent about the issue. “I want you to rest
so you can join me for dinner in a bit.” Bagoas needed to eat. He was so thin!
Bagoas wasn’t
sure he could eat, but for Cassander he would try.
~~~
They spent the
next hour watching each other. Or to be exact, Bagoas watched Cassander very
closely. Cassander went about his business as usual: studied maps, listened to
the guards’ reports, and did everything within his power to make sure the camp
was secure. Bagoas noticed that Cassander had had the leering guard permanently
replaced. The new guard didn’t even look at him and Bagoas started to relax a
bit. Cassander’s actions puzzled him. Normally, a high-ranking officer like
Cassander would take what he wanted and not bother making his intended victim
feel comfortable and secure. Another matter that puzzled Bagoas was that fact
that Cassander had done nothing more than kiss him once and touch his hair.
What kind of game was he playing? The idea of Cassander *not* having a secret
agenda, that he was acting out of the kindness of his heart, frightened him
even more though.
Once Cassander
had attended to his duties, he sat down on a fur which had been placed on the
rocky ground. The other man’s eyes never left Bagoas’ form and the eunuch
started to feel watched. In the end, Bagoas couldn’t take it any more and
asked, “What do you want from me?”
Cassander
arched an eyebrow. “I want your company. I thought I had made myself clear?”
Bagoas
moistened his lips, averted his gaze, and said, “Most men wish for a different
kind of company – in bed.” He emphasized the last bit to make his confusion
perfectly clear to Cassander.
“You fascinate
me,” Cassander muttered eventually. “I do not know why, but I am attracted to
you.”
Bagoas quickly
looked up and stared at Cassander. If that was the truth, why hadn’t the older
man already pinned him to the bed?
Cassander
waved Bagoas’ disconcerting thoughts away with a flick of his wrist. “It is not
in my nature to take what someone is unwilling to give.”
“But you are a
part of Alexander’s army. Certainly you want to conquer land – and people.”
Bagoas cringed. What was he doing talking back to his superior? Had he really
forgotten everything he had been taught in the past? To obey, to please, to
submit -- those had been his lessons!
Cassander shrugged
his shoulders. “I would have been content to rule
“Then why are
you here?” Bagoas’ eyelids fluttered. What was he doing asking questions?
“I am young
and ambitious.” Cassander was no fool. “This is the adventure of a life time.
Alexander offers me a chance to see more of the world.”
Bagoas curled
his fingers around the cup filled with tea when Cassander offered him one. “And
where does that leave me?”
Cassander
smiled. “It leaves you at the very center of my interest of the exotic,
Bagoas.”
“I still do
not understand,” Bagoas muttered between sips of his tea.
Cassander
wasn’t sure he was ready to confide in Bagoas so he opted for a way out. “I
want to know you are safe and I want to get to know you better. What is wrong with
that?” He drank some watered down wine and ate the grilled meat which one of
the guards had delivered to his tent earlier that day. “You should eat more.”
Bagoas stared
at the food and his stomach did a somersault. He was hungry, but at the same
time he was afraid to eat. Boys like him only survived when they were pretty
and thin. It gave them the illusion of being both sexes – androgynous, which
their masters wanted them to look like that. “I am not hungry.”
“I don’t
believe you.” Cassander put some grilled meat and bread onto a plate and shoved
it in Bagoas’ direction. “I want you to empty that plate.”
Bagoas almost
panicked: that was way too much food! He couldn’t dance it off either, since he
was confined to the tent. “Must I?”
“You need to
keep your strength up. You should be able to run in case of an attack.” Cassander
had finished his share of the food and walked toward the bathtub that had been
placed in a corner of his tent. He called out to the guard to bring water and a
moment later, the first bucket was delivered to his tent.
Bagoas saw his
chance to be of use and began to rise from the bed, but Cassander pointed at
his food and the eunuch realized he wouldn’t go anywhere before he had emptied
that plate. Reluctantly, he started to eat.
One bucket
full of water after another was poured into the tub and when it was full,
Cassander dismissed the guard. He removed his tunic and lifted a foot to test
the water. It was freezing cold.
“I can help.”
Bagoas watched from where he sat on the bed and wondered if Cassander would let
him assist him during the bath.
Cassander’s
first look was for Bagoas’ plate, which he found empty. “I don’t know how you
think you can help, but since you ate your fill, I won’t stop you.” He shivered
when he sat down in the cold water. Sometimes he longed for the comforts of
home like being able to have a hot bath.
Bagoas picked
up a wash cloth and soap on the way and started to remove his trousers.
“What are you
doing?” Cassander frowned.
Bagoas halted
in his movement. “I am joining you in the water of course. How else am I
supposed to assist you?”
Cassander
shook his head. “You are not stepping into the water. It is freezing cold.”
Bagoas
shrugged. “Do you think I am not accustomed to working in cold water?”
“You are not
coming in and that is final!” Cassander put his foot down.
Bagoas sighed,
but then remembered his place. “As you wish, Milord.”
“And do not
call me that. It makes me feel like I am as old as my father.”
Bagoas felt at
a loss. How was he supposed to help Cassander bathe when he wasn’t allowed into
the bathtub? In the end, he picked up a bowl, caught water in it, and poured it
down Cassander’s head.
“Why did you
do that?” Cassander glared at the eunuch. “Are you trying to drown me?”
“I only want
to wash your hair.” Bagoas blinked. Could it be that Cassander had never had
someone assist him during his bath?
Grudgingly,
Cassander allowed it. “If you must…”
Bagoas worked
up lather and washed Cassander’s hair. At shoulder’s length, it was already
getting into the habit of growing tangled. Bagoas loved the feel of the sturdy
hair between his fingertips. It wasn’t as fine and soft as his raven mane.
Cassander
endured the bath. He seldom had someone assist him and was only allowing it because
he knew it would make Bagoas feel useful. He also realized that he hadn’t
thought this over carefully enough. When he’d had Bagoas brought to him, he
hadn’t thought about the consequences. The attraction which had been there for
a time now was developing into something deeper, something bigger, and that
baffled him. When had he forgotten that Bagoas belonged to Alexander?
“You are
shivering. You should get out now.” Bagoas had located a towel and unfolded it
so he could rub Cassander’s skin dry.
Bagoas’ voice
stopped his musing and Cassander rose from the water. This time he was glad
that the water had been so cold for he would have been sporting an erection. Bagoas
quickly enfolded him in the towel and then the eunuch’s hands were all over his
body. There still was some fabric between them – namely that of the towel – but
that was of little consequence to his body that reacted to the touch. “I can do
that myself,” he snarled and stepped out of the tub. He was growing hard and
didn’t want Bagoas to see.
Bagoas however
had noticed the first signs of arousal and had already made his peace with the
fact that Cassander would probably take him that night. In a way, he didn’t
mind too badly. From what he had seen so far, he surmised that Cassander would
be a good lover – one that wouldn’t hurt him like the others had. For the first
time in his life, he also felt curious about what it would be like to have sex
with Cassander. Did he want to have sex with the other man? He wasn’t
completely sure about that, but he did know that he wouldn’t fight Cassander if
the other man decided to claim him that night.
“That is
enough.” Cassander snatched the towel away from Bagoas, wrapped it around his
waist, and made his way to the furs spread on the ground. Alexander always
traveled luxuriously, but Cassander only took a few basic items with him. He
seated himself on the fur and stared into the fire.
Bagoas stood
there for another moment and tried to make sense of what had just happened.
Cassander was aroused – he *knew* that. What puzzled him was why Cassander had
left that abruptly instead of throwing him on the bed. He needed a few seconds
to compose himself, but then he made his way over to Cassander and sat down at
some distance. “What did I do wrong?” His voice was soft and barely audible.
Cassander
laughed bitterly and then shook his head. “Nothing.
You did nothing wrong.”
“I am sorry,
but I do not understand.” Cassander was a riddle to him.
Cassander
realized the time had come to be honest with Bagoas. He raised his head and
forced himself to meet Bagoas’ confused gaze. “I did not think this through. I
had you brought to my tent and never considered what could happen.”
Bagoas slowly
raised his right hand and tentatively rested it on Cassander’s arm. “May I speak
freely?”
Cassander
nodded his head. “Always!” He didn’t want Bagoas to
feel obligated to ask him permission to speak his mind!
“You are
causing problems where there are none. You want to take me to your bed… You can
do that. I am not going to stop you. It is my purpose in life to please men
like you.”
Bagoas’ words
angered Cassander and he glared at the eunuch. Bagoas’ eyes widened in surprise
and the younger man sucked in his breath, and, seeing that fierce reaction, calmed
Cassander down. “I am not angry with you,” Cassander explained. “I am angry
with the men who made you think like that.”
Bagoas’
features relaxed. Cassander had surprised him again. “Cassander, I am a eunuch.
I am a whore. Nothing changes that. That is what I am.”
“It is not who
you really are!” Cassander broke eye contact and his dark hair tumbled forward,
obscuring his facial expression from Bagoas. “I do not believe that.”
Bagoas hadn’t
thought it possible that his heart would open up even further to Cassander.
Cassander had the reputation of being arrogant and selfish, but the side he was
seeing now made Bagoas wonder if anyone really knew Cassander. “That is what
they made me, Cassander.” It was the first time he said the other man’s name
and he hoped it would get him a reaction.
Cassander
turned his head and looked at Bagoas. “I do not want this to be an encounter
for one night.”
“What if one night is all we have?” Alexander would return sooner or later
and then Bagoas had to return to the King’s side.
“I want it to
be more!” Cassander knew he sounded childish, but he couldn’t help himself.
Bagoas
considered everything he had learned and then said, “I never offered myself
freely. There was always some sort of pressure or a clearly voiced demand for
me to give in, but I would give myself to you.” Would Cassander understand what
he was trying to tell him? “I never took a lover, Cassander, not even for a
single night.”
Cassander
understood and realized what an incredible amount of trust Bagoas was placing
in his hands. “I want you, Bagoas, but I need more than that.”
“You should be
realistic, Cassander. What you want can never be. I am a slave, Alexander’s
slave, and he is my master. I can never belong to you.”
“I do not wish
to own you! Not in that way!” Cassander stared at Bagoas in shock. “I merely
wish to own your heart!”
Bagoas pushed
several dark strands of hair behind Cassander’s ears and studied the expression
in the other man’s eyes. “Alexander will never let me go.”
Cassander’s
eyes flashed with insight. “Maybe there is a way!” He would need an ally and he
already knew who would benefit if Bagoas would be handed to Cassander.
“Don’t dream,
Cassander. Dreams are dangerous for they never come true.” Bagoas moved closer
and climbed onto Cassander’s lap. The other man looked at him in surprise and
Bagoas soothed him. “Don’t worry. I am doing this because I want to.” He
laughed briefly. “That is a first…”
“You did not
want to have sex with Alexander?” Cassander brought his hands up Bagoas’ bare
back and stroked the skin with his thumbs. Bagoas trembled against him and
Cassander pulled him closer.
“He is my
master. I do not have a choice.” Bagoas trembled for several reasons. One was
because he truly desired Cassander, which was a first, and another was that he
felt like he had lost control over the situation. He had been trained to be in
control, to always attend to his master’s needs, but he sensed Cassander didn’t
want him to act that way. “But I have a choice where you are concerned.”
Cassander
decided to make the best of this situation. Bagoas was right: this might be the
only chance they would get. Burying his face in Bagoas’ perfumed hair, he
inhaled the eunuch’s exotic scent. “You smell lovely…” His lips made contact
with Bagoas’ throat and he kissed the sensitive skin there.
Cassander’s
action surprised Bagoas. None of his masters had ever bothered kissing him like
that. That wasn’t why they kept him in their bed. The lips dragged down his
throat and then a tongue lapped at his skin. Bagoas tried hard to gain control
but Cassander wasn’t giving him a chance to get the upper hand. Cassander’s
hands moved lower to cup his buttocks and Bagoas shifted on the other man’s
lap.
Once he had Bagoas exactly where he wanted him, Cassander feasted
on the eunuch’s body.
His lips sought out Bagoas’ and he quickly gained entry.
Bagoas, unused
to being kissed that way, briefly felt at a loss, but then the tip of
Cassander’s tongue lapped against his and he finally caught on. Cassander
squeezed his buttocks and suddenly he was being lowered onto his back. He
parted his legs and waited for Cassander to penetrate him.
The thin
fabric of Bagoas’ trousers posed no hindrance and Cassander pushed it aside,
baring the eunuch’s lower body to him. “You are exquisite,” Cassander murmured.
Bagoas
quivered. He had had sex with many men, but those experiences didn’t help him
figure out Cassander’s plans. Instead of entering him, Cassander kissed down
his chest and then lapped at his belly button. That caused Bagoas to giggle and
he gave Cassander an upset look when the other man looked him in the eye. He
wasn’t supposed to giggle! He knew that!
“You are
ticklish,” Cassander commented in delight. What else would he discover where
the eunuch was concerned?
Bagoas wanted
to apologize, but Cassander’s lips closed over his and took away his chance.
Cassander blanketed him with his body and Bagoas closed his eyes, preparing
himself for the pain.
Cassander felt
Bagoas tense up and soothed the younger man by stroking the trembling flanks.
Bagoas’ reactions were just as he had expected them to be. The eunuch was used
to being in control and, since control had been taken away from him, he didn’t
know how to act.
Bagoas’ eyes
widened the moment Cassander’s fingers curled around his member. “Cassander,
I…” At best, he could achieve a semi-erect state so why would Cassander bother
touching him there? But Cassander silenced him once more by kissing him and the
fingers continued to fondle his organ.
Cassander
explored what was left of Bagoas’ genitals. The scrotum was practically
non-existent. The sac that should have held the testicles was empty. Overcome
with sadness and sympathy, Cassander pressed a kiss onto Bagoas’ brow.
“You do not
have to…” Bagoas failed to finish his sentence because Cassander was moving
down his body lower and lower. It was the first time ever that a tongue dragged
over his semi-erect member. “Cassander…”
Cassander
grinned like a cat and purred. “I like having you at my mercy.”
Bagoas
blinked. What was Cassander doing to him? Fingers gently cupped his empty sac
and lips placed butterfly kisses onto his abdomen. “Cassander, please do not do
this.” Tears were building in his eyes.
“Someone
should have done so years ago.” Cassander reached for a phial of oil, which he
used to keep the leather of his uniform soft, and uncapped it.
Bagoas fully
expected Cassander to coat his erection with the oil and to enter him, but
instead, oily hands dropped onto his chest and started a sensual massage.
Cassander
sensed Bagoas’ surprise and grinned again. He took his time to work the oil
into Bagoas’ skin and, once he was done with the chest, he moved onto the arms
and then the long legs. “Will you dance for me sometime?”
Bagoas nodded
his head. He felt limp, as if he couldn’t move. Cassander was doing wonderful
things to his body and he willingly surrendered to the gentle touches. “What do
you want from me?” he asked eventually.
Cassander
simply shook his head. He was too busy thinking everything over to answer
Bagoas’ question. He was trying hard to figure out the best way to take Bagoas
in. In the end, he muttered, “How do you want to do this, Bagoas?” He had taken
control away from the eunuch and that had caused Bagoas to become passive. The
best thing to do was to hand some of it back.
Bagoas
blinked. “You want me to decide?”
“What is your
favorite position?” Cassander ran his hands up Bagoas’ chest and rolled the hard
nipples between his fingertips.
Bagoas moaned.
Normally it was just an act, but Cassander was making it real. Cassander made
him *feel*. Really feel. “My favorite position?” The
position he experienced the least pain in was when he was on top. But neither
Darius nor Alexander had ever wanted to see him in that position. They either
took him on his back or on all fours.
“Yes, your
favorite position.” Cassander laughed and ran his fingers through Bagoas’ hair,
which was fanned all round his head on the fur. Bagoas looked sensual and the
fact that the eunuch wanted him in turn made everything right for Cassander.
“On top?” Bagoas’ features contorted and he closed his eyes. He didn’t want
to see Cassander’s reaction in case the older man disapproved.
Cassander’s
joy briefly dwindled when he saw how insecure Bagoas was when making that
request. “I would love to see you move on top of me.” He hooked his arms
beneath Bagoas’ back and rolled the eunuch on top of him.
Bagoas felt
dizzy once their situation had become reversed. Cassander lay beneath him and
was smiling at him. He placed his hands against Cassander’s chest and trembled
uncontrollably. “I did not think…” He hadn’t expected Cassander to allow this.
Cassander
understood. He rubbed Bagoas’ buttocks and playfully thrust up. “Have your way
with me.” Bagoas suddenly rose and positioned himself above his erection, but
Cassander stopped him before he could lower himself onto his shaft. “Use the
oil, Bagoas.”
Bagoas nodded
and reached for the phial. None of his masters had ever stopped him like that or
had demanded he used oil. They hadn’t cared about the pain he experienced.
“Use plenty.”
Although Bagoas was experienced in bed, Cassander wasn’t taking any risks. He
wanted this to be good for Bagoas too. In the end, he had to guide Bagoas’
hands. The eunuch continued to stare at him in surprise.
Bagoas shook
himself from the shock he had been in and watched how Cassander’s fingers
guided his in coating the older man’s erection. “Cassander, I feel lost,” he
whispered unintentionally.
“I know that,
love.” Cassander released Bagoas and placed his hands on either side of the
eunuch’s head. He guided Bagoas’ face close to his and kissed him. “Go slowly,”
he murmured between kisses when he felt Bagoas shift atop of him.
Bagoas
positioned himself above Cassander’s member and then slowly lowered himself,
taking in inch by inch. Cassander’s hands moved lower until they cupped Bagoas’
buttocks. Slowly, he guided Bagoas into taking him inside.
Bagoas stared
into Cassander’s eyes. He had never been with someone as caring and loving as
Cassander. The pain which he normally experienced during this act stayed away
and he actually enjoyed feeling Cassander inside him. That was another first.
Was this what sex should be like? So caring and loving? Suddenly Cassander’s
arms crept up his back and pulled him down. Bagoas rested his upper body on
Cassander’s and stared at the other man in surprise. What was going to happen
next?
Cassander
instigated another long kiss while one hand snuck into the long hair. His other
hand crept lower until it rested on Bagoas’ right buttock. He thrust up, but
made sure he didn’t invade Bagoas’ body too deeply. They rocked again and their
kissing continued.
Bagoas didn’t
know what to make of the emotions coursing through him. Something spiraled
upward, warmed his groin and nestled into his lower abdomen. He had heard from
other eunuchs that they sometimes felt pleasure during the act, but he had
never experienced anything like it yet. His eyes grew big and he let Cassander
set their pace.
Cassander
hugged him tight and moved gently inside Bagoas. He felt connected to the
eunuch and realized just how much he was in love with the younger man. Would he
be able to give Bagoas up once Alexander returned? He didn’t think so.
Bagoas started
to pant and small puffs of air floated into Cassander’s mouth since the older
man continued to kiss him. Pressure was building inside him and he moaned the
next time Cassander thrust upward. He felt like he was about to burst with
pleasure and he pressed against Cassander for support.
Cassander
sensed Bagoas’ impending orgasm and stopped holding back. His thrusts sped up
and Bagoas didn’t seem to mind since the eunuch’s moans gained in intensity. “Let
go,” Cassander whispered into Bagoas’ ear. “Just let go.”
Bagoas
whimpered and then became boneless atop Cassander. Something powerful exploded
deep inside him and made him close his eyes. He panted hard and sweat formed on
his brow. In his life, he had learned countless ways to bring another man to
orgasm, but no one had ever taught him that he could experience one himself.
Cassander
realized that too late. He hadn’t considered the fact that Bagoas had never
experienced an orgasm before, but when that fact did register with him, he
wrapped his arms around the trembling young man and held him close. He reached
orgasm a moment later and buried his face in Bagoas’ hair.
Bagoas
couldn’t even move his little finger and hoped he wasn’t too heavy for
Cassander who had no choice but to support his weight. But when Cassander’s
hold on him tightened, he surmised that the other man wanted him to stay in
place.
“I do not want
to let you go ever again,” Cassander mumbled into Bagoas’ ear.
Bagoas’ heart
contracted in pain. “We have no choice. I belong to Alexander.” He finally
managed to lift his head and looked at Cassander. Cassander was smiling at him
and the expression in the other man’s eyes was that of love. “But my heart
belongs to you. I am sorry. That is all I can give you.”
“I will keep
it safe,” Cassander promised. He continued to hug Bagoas close and when the raven
head rested against his shoulder once more, he tucked it beneath his chin. “If
this is all we will ever have, I will cherish it for the rest of my life.” But
after being with Bagoas, he had no intention of letting Alexander have his way
with the eunuch again. He thought he knew of a way to manipulate Alexander in
such a way that the other man would let him have Bagoas. Hephaistion would help
him. Hephaistion would namely benefit the most if Bagoas disappeared out of
Alexander’s bed.
~~~
“The water is
warm?” Bagoas blinked in surprise. Cassander had let him sleep and he had only
woken up because of the sound of bucket loads of water being poured into the
bathtub. Cassander had gestured Bagoas to join him and the eunuch had stretched
before rising from the bed. Once he had placed his foot in the water and
realized the water was warm, a delighted expression crossed his face.
“I had it
heated just for you.” Cassander reached for Bagoas and pulled the eunuch in.
The bathtub was just big enough to hold the two of them, but they couldn’t move
about much.
Bagoas ended
up sitting in front of Cassander with his back toward his lover. His lover… He
had never had a lover before. “I shall never forget last night.” Cassander’s
fingers moved through his hair and Bagoas closed his eyes in bliss. He felt so
relaxed that he had forgotten that it wouldn’t do that his ‘master’ attended to
his needs. Maybe that was because he no longer saw Cassander as his ‘master’.
Cassander
remained quiet. He was already trying to find the best way to convince
Hephaistion to help him change Alexander’s mind.
~~~
“Alexander is
back.” Bagoas had put on his trousers again and stood in front of Cassander. “I
must leave.”
Cassander
pulled him into his arms and hugged him tight. “I will fight for you.” Bagoas’
dark eyes looked at him in surprise. “I mean it.”
“Cassander,
leave me be. I am what I am.” Bagoas caressed Cassander’s face and wished he
was a free man and not a slave.
“I will fight
for you,” Cassander repeated and forced himself to let Bagoas go. “I will get
you back.”
Bagoas took a
step away from Cassander. “We had one night… I am grateful for that.” He moved
toward the exit of the tent and pushed the fabric aside. “Please do not come
for me, Cassander. Keep your distance. I could not bear…” It was hard enough to
desert Cassander because he had to return to Alexander’s tent. He didn’t want
Cassander making this any harder.
“Bagoas!” Bagoas looked at Cassander from over his shoulder. “I love you,”
Cassander whispered softly. “I love you.”
Bagoas
swallowed convulsively and then left the tent. Once outside, he steeled his
features and erected the old barriers which had kept him safe in the past. He
couldn’t allow anyone to see how he really felt. /I am in love with you too,
Cassander, but we can never be./
~~~
Bagoas stared
at the fabric of the tent, which moved in the breeze above him. Alexander had
wasted no time and had ordered him into his bed. Bagoas had been maneuvered
onto his hands and knees and had had no choice but to let Alexander do as he
pleased. Thankfully, Alexander had fallen asleep after that and Bagoas had
curled up on his side. Later than night, he stretched out onto his back and
stared blindly ahead. The act had been a cruel travesty of what he had
experienced in Cassander’s arms. Alexander had reminded him that he was
something to be used and then discarded. He had always known that – it had just
never registered so sharply with him before.
~~~
“General? You
have a visitor.” The guard stepped aside to let Cassander enter.
Hephaistion
looked up from where he sat crouched over his maps and frowned. “What do you
want?” Cassander wasn’t popular with the Companions and Hephaistion didn’t like
him either. Cassander coming there probably spelled trouble.
Wrapped up in
a warm, red traveling cloak, Cassander stood in front of Hephaistion and never
wavered as he met the other man’s gaze head on. “I have come here because I
have a proposal for you. One we would both benefit from.”
Hephaistion
felt highly suspicious, but then again, Cassander was intelligent enough not to
come to him with thoughts of treason. Alexander was hugely unpopular at the
moment. Their campaign had lasted for too long and they had lost too many men
during the last few days. “What kind of proposal?” Hephaistion sipped water and
studied Cassander. Cassander was the son of a King and would probably rule
Cassander sat
down, even though Hephaistion hadn’t him invited to take a seat. “This concerns
Alexander, Bagoas, and you.”
Hephaistion
gave Cassander a thoughtful look. He highly disliked the eunuch who warmed his
lover’s bed too often. It was a pity that he hadn’t found a way to rid himself
of Bagoas yet. He had no intention of murdering the eunuch, but he would feel
more at ease if Bagoas moved out of Alexander’s bed. He smelled Bagoas’ scent
in there long after the eunuch had gone. “What do you propose?”
“My eye has
fallen on Bagoas and I want him in my bed.” Cassander knew he couldn’t be
completely honest with Hephaistion. He would only feed Hephaistion the
information the General needed. “And you want him out of Alexander’s.”
Hephaistion
nodded slowly. “It is no secret that I want him out of Alexander’s bed.”
“You also know
that Alexander can’t afford to lose me as an ally. Use that knowledge to your
advantage. Tell him that you have seen me look at Bagoas and that handing the
eunuch over to me would be a way to ensure my loyalty.”
Hephaistion
wondered about Cassander’s motives. “You are right. I would applaud the
possibility of casting Bagoas out of Alexander’s bed, but what would you gain?”
“Bagoas.” Cassander knew he had to give Hephaistion more. “It is the truth.
I have noticed him and I want Bagoas in my bed – not Alexander’s. It would be a
way to buy my future loyalty.”
Hephaistion
liked the idea – he really did – but he wasn’t sure Alexander would cooperate.
“Alexander has grown fond of Bagoas.”
“Bagoas warms
his bed at night.” Cassander grew bold, knowing he had to convince Hephaistion
to play along. “Shouldn’t it be *you* warming Alexander’s bed at night? With
Bagoas out of the way, you would have Alexander to yourself again. You can’t
tell me that you approve of Bagoas being bedded that way.” Hephaistion’s eyes
narrowed dangerously and Cassander realized just how much he was playing with
fire.
“I will talk
to Alexander,” Hephaistion answered eventually. “Maybe I can convince him that
giving Bagoas as payment to you would ensure your loyalty.”
Cassander
nodded his head. “I do not mind if Alexander wants to keep Bagoas on as a
servant. I just want exclusive rights to bedding him.” He hoped he didn’t sound
too desperate. He had to bluff or else Hephaistion would manipulate him in
turn.
“I will tell
him that.” The more Hephaistion thought about it, the more he liked the idea.
He had no problems with Bagoas serving Alexander during official meetings. The
eunuch’s knowledge of languages and custom often came in handy. He did however
object to the fact that Alexander bedded Bagoas so often. That empowered Bagoas
(even if the eunuch didn’t seem to realize that) and affected Hephaistion’s
reputation negatively.
Cassander rose
and headed outside. It was out of his hands now. Hephaistion had to play his
role – or not.
~~~
Hephaistion
entered Alexander’s tent and found his lover hunched over maps and the eunuch
kneeling on the floor. He bent and whispered into Bagoas’ ear, “Leave us alone
and do not think about eavesdropping. If I catch you doing that, your
punishment won’t be pretty.” Bagoas’ big eyes, laced with shock and anger,
stared into his and Hephaistion grinned. “Get out.”
Bagoas rose
and was a bit wobbly on his feet because he had been kneeling for over an hour.
He sought out Alexander’s gaze and, after the King had nodded, left. Hephaistion
was powerful and dangerous and he didn’t want the man for an enemy.
“What was that
about?” Alexander leaned back and rested his head against Hephaistion’s torso once
his lover stood behind him. “You did not have to scare him like that.”
Hephaistion’s
hands moved beneath Alexander’s tunic and slid lower until his fingertips
brushed his lover’s nipples. “I am here on business.”
Alexander’s
eyes glittered excitedly. “What sort of business?”
“I have
watched Cassander during the last few days and I noticed something
interesting.” Hephaistion unclasped the fastenings of Alexander’s tunic and
slid the fabric lower so his hands could freely roam his lover’s chest. “His
eyes follow Bagoas wherever he goes.”
Surprised,
Alexander frowned. “Cassander lusts after the eunuch?” Bagoas was just a slave
to him. A pretty slave who knew how to please him in bed, but that was about
it.
Hephaistion
nodded and moved in front of Alexander. Alexander parted his knees and he moved
in-between them. “You are gorgeous,” he purred and went down onto his knees in
front of his lover. Part of him wanted to seduce Alexander to demonstrate his
power, but another, more calculating part of him knew it was the best way to
make Alexander agree to his proposition.
Alexander
licked his lips and shifted on the chair until he had attained a more
comfortable position. Seeing Hephaistion on his knees in front of him stirred
his lust and his cock surged with life. “He wants Bagoas…”
Hephaistion
merely nodded his head. It would be best if Alexander reached the right
conclusion himself.
“It would be a
way to ensure his loyalty then?” Alexander slid his fingers into Hephaistion
mane and pushed the brown head down, closer to his groin.
Hephaistion
drew in a deep breath and then obediently parted his lips. His fingers curled
around his lover’s weeping erection and he relaxed his throat to take
Alexander. Alexander threw back his head and moaned in pleasure. Hephaistion’s
mouth was warm and moist and he thrust upward.
Hephaistion
knew how to manipulate Alexander best and lavished the erection with saliva. He
sucked the hard flesh, letting it slide lower into his throat and, just when
Alexander bucked in a signal that he was about to come, he pinched at the base.
Alexander’s
eyes almost bulged from their sockets and he stared at Hephaistion in shock.
“Why did you do that?”
Hephaistion
knew he looked utterly debauched and used it to his advantage. Alexander’s
pre-ejaculate clung to his bruised lips and he stroked Alexander’s perineum
with a finger wet with saliva. His lover thrust again, but this time, there
wasn’t a warm mouth to suck him. “Give Bagoas to Cassander,
Alexander. He is nothing but a whore…”
Alexander’s eyes
narrowed in thought. “Are you offering to take his place in my bed all
evenings?” Hephaistion had refused him at times for his lover could be
stubborn.
Hephaistion’s
tongue lashed out and licked up Alexander’s length. He knew he was also to
blame for the fact that Alexander had taken Bagoas into his bed. If he hadn’t
been so difficult at times, Alexander would have never looked at Bagoas a
second time. “I am, my King.” Hephaistion’s lips slide down Alexander’s girth
and he set about to bringing his lover to orgasm.
Alexander’s
fingers painfully fisted his hair, but that only urged Hephaistion on.
Alexander suddenly thrust up hard and a moment later, his lover’s semen flowed
down his throat. Hephaistion swallowed and, once Alexander had released his
hair, lapped at the remaining semen that dripped from the slit.
“You resemble
a cat when you do that.” Alexander smiled and fingered a strand of
Hephaistion’s hair. He had long realized that Bagoas’ presence in his bed vexed
Hephaistion and he had been waiting for his lover to make a move like this. He
had used Bagoas to get back at Hephaistion for refusing him in the past and he
no longer needed the eunuch since he had Hephaistion. “Let Cassander have
Bagoas then.”
Hephaistion
felt triumphant but was careful not to let it show. Alexander and he were
equally adept at manipulation and when he saw Alexander’s grin, he wondered who
had outwitted who.
~~~
Cassander
paced his tent as he waited for Hephaistion to send him a message. Had his ploy
worked or would it backfire on him? The fact that he was considering eloping
with Bagoas scared him. He had fallen hard for the eunuch and was actually
considering deserting the army if that meant being together with Bagoas.
Unable to stay
inside any longer, Cassander marched outside. He looked over at Alexander’s
tent, almost hoping Hephaistion would be standing there, signaling him that
their plan had worked. But it was eerily quiet inside Alexander’s tent.
However, he
did see another person pacing close to the tent. It was Bagoas. The eunuch
looked lovely, but then again he always did. He was dressed in a black robe
made from transparent fabric that left little to the imagination. The dark
eyes, normally lined with kohl, were strangely vulnerable without the black
substance. Had Bagoas forgotten to put it on?
Bagoas
suddenly looked up and their gazes met. His heart sped up and Bagoas’ hands
turned into fists. What was Cassander doing out there? A strange sensation
unfolded in the pit of his stomach and Bagoas had to stop himself from walking
over to Cassander. He wanted to wrap his arms around the other man so he could
hold and kiss him. He wanted them skin against skin again. He wanted to hear
Cassander whisper into his ear. But he couldn’t have that – never again!
Bagoas marched
away and Cassander was tempted to follow him, but then stopped himself because
Hephaistion was leaving Alexander’s tent. The sated expression and the blush
that had spread across Hephaistion’s face told Cassander a lot. He sucked in
his breath when Hephaistion headed his way. “Did you talk to him?” Hephaistion
grinned and wiped at his mouth from which a droplet threatened to fall.
Cassander grinned in turn, realizing what exactly Hephaistion had been up to.
“I did. Bagoas
is yours and I have Alexander to myself. Make sure Bagoas knows Alexander is
off limits from this moment on. If I catch him looking at Alexander the wrong
way he will suffer the consequences.”
“I will tell
him.” Cassander’s heart almost burst with relief. “I will tell him today.”
“Alexander
wants to keep Bagoas on as a servant. Bagoas speaks several languages and comes
in handy when dealing with certain people. At those times, Bagoas must be at
Alexander’s side.”
“I
understand.” Cassander didn’t care about that. He just wanted to run off, catch
Bagoas, and tell him the good news.
“Then go tell
him.” Hephaistion had finally realized the truth. At first, he had thought
Cassander to be just another manipulative bastard, but now he saw the love in
the other man’s eyes. “Go tell him,” he repeated and watched Cassander quickly
march away. /He is love with the eunuch. Who would have thought that…/
~~~
“Bagoas!
Stop! Wait for me! We need to talk!” Cassander had finally caught up with
Bagoas and grabbed hold of his arm. “Look at me!” The next moment he wished he
hadn’t forced Bagoas to look at him for the eunuch’s face was wet with tears.
“Why are you crying?” Cassander didn’t care that several guards stood close and
were watching them. He needed to comfort his love.
“I do not want
to cry!” Bagoas angrily wiped at his face. Last night had been horrible as far
as he was concerned. First he had been forced to give himself to Alexander and
then he had seen Cassander again and had finally realized how foolish they had
been. He would never be Cassander’s! They had been such great fools!
“Oh, my love.” Cassander crushed Bagoas to his chest and glared angrily at the
one guard who dared to laugh. The guard cringed, turned, and left. Once they
had some small amount of privacy, Cassander lifted Bagoas’ head with a finger
under the youth's chin. “Stop crying. You no longer have a reason to be sad.”
Bagoas blinked
and tried to get his emotions back under control again. “What are you talking
about? Did you lose your mind?”
“You are mine now. Alexander agreed.”
Bagoas almost
fainted upon hearing that. “You did lose your mind!”
“No, I did
not.” Cassander guided Bagoas back to the camp and led him inside his tent.
“Sit down.” Bagoas lowered himself onto the furs and Cassander sat down beside
him. “I did not play fair…but neither does Hephaistion. The two of us
‘convinced’ Alexander to give you to me as a present – as a way to ensure my
loyalty. You will still be called to his side at times, but you are mostly
mine, Bagoas.”
Bagoas
couldn’t believe any of that. “You are mad… You have gone mad.”
Cassander
chuckled warmly. “I have not, but I understand that you need time to understand
your changed situation.” Cassander leaned in closer and kissed Bagoas. He
pulled him down and stretched out on his side. They were face to face, and that
way, Cassander saw the disbelief in Bagoas’ eyes. “It is the truth. I have no
reason to lie to you.”
“Are you
serious? We can be together? But Alexander…”
“Alexander
won’t touch you ever again. A deal was made and Hephaistion will not allow
Alexander to go back on it.” Cassander smiled brilliantly. “Did you keep my
heart safe in turn, Bagoas?”
Bagoas
swallowed hard. “I did… Did you keep mine safe?”
Cassander
nodded and caressed Bagoas’ face. “I always will, my love.”
They kissed
and that kiss was sweeter than any of the kisses they had shared before. Bagoas
always maintained eye contact and saw love and the truth in Cassander’s eyes.
“I am free?”
“Free of
Alexander, yes,” Cassander chuckled. “But you will never be free of me.”
“I do not want
to be free of you. I allowed myself to be caught, didn’t I?” And he didn’t
regret letting Cassander catch him. He had found love in Cassander’s arms and
he knew that his lover would keep his heart safe forever.
The end