No hard feelings

No hard feelings, no playing games

It’s all over, we marked our face. We had our freedom,

We had our name. The price was everything taken away

Take your time as the years go by. Learn how to cry. It will be alright

We live our dream now. Does it make any difference

It’s not the same we built. But we sure did it our way

Living the dream…

Things seldom turn out the way you thought they would. Children’s’ dreams and fantasies often crumble when you expect it the least. We thought we knew it all – that we had everything figured out. We were going to live our lives the way we thought we should. We would live our dream, our way – no regrets.

Sex, drugs, and rock’n roll.

They are nothing but clichés, but if they have been a part of you all your life, then you don’t know anything else. You want to follow in those important footsteps. You want to make them proud, and for a while, you live a dream – the way you dreamt it.

Everything is the way you expected it. You are famous, you get your fair share of applause and adoring looks and you are high on enthusiasm.

But things change, don’t they?

They always do.

Reality as you know it changes.

It stretches, takes on new dimensions and your mind expands. Not because you are still high on applause or praise which you’re getting.

No, a devil sneaked inside your life and you didn’t know it. That devil raises its ugly head, reaches for you with its greedy fingers and it pulls you in. You don’t notice – until it’s too late.

Chemical substances change your perspective. Things, which were clear a moment ago, become muddy and questions that haunted you your entire life are finally answered. It doesn’t matter that the answers make little sense. The warmth andthat all-consuming heat that burns you, is everything you ever wanted and you need more – You always want more – need more.

And it’s so easy to get a hold of drugs – all kinds of them. You name it, you get it. These hands aren’t helping hands. They beckon you, call you, and never let go again. A sweet and luring call wraps you up in a cocoon of warmth and numbness. A sudden sharp sting cuts through your body and it’s addictive. You don’t want for it to happen again and you fight it for a while and you even think you won! You kicked its ass, but then it calls to you again – and you answer that call – every time again. You don’t realize you’re on the road to hell.

Of course, you stumble, and maybe you even fall, but you always manage to get onto your feet again, but for how long?

It wears you down – your body is tired, your mind clouded and everyone’s hands are pulling at you. They want things from you, but there’s only one thing you want and you’d do anything to get it.

You push on. You never stop. You want more and you get more. You feel so high. You feel like you can take on the whole world. You’re the king – you made it. Your life is perfect.

Words of wisdom, whispered advice, screamed warnings -- they matter no more…

And just when you’re n top of everything, you finally lose control and you start to fall.

Falling isn’t pretty. The pit is bottomless and the landing hard and brutal. Cowering, you look toward the light that shines at the end of the tunnel, and you wonder if you can get there. Do you even want out?

In the end, you don’t have a choice. Your body screams at you. Your mind goes blank. You exist – your life and mind turns empty and you think that there’s nothing more, but then you realize that you want something else. Not the sweet haze drugs bring – no, you want something different. And you’re finally ready to take the helping hands your friends and family offer you.

But it’s hard.

It’s hard to admit that you need the help. It’s hard to face the people you hurt… It’s hard to make amends, and once again you wonder ‘Can I do it? Do I want to do it? What will I gain? What will I lose? Will I lose my dream, which I always hung onto? Will my life change? Will *I* change?’

The answer, as you find it, is yes.

Yes, you want the help. You reach for the light and accept that your life is about to change – again – and you can only hope that it will change for the better.

Change comes in small steps. It’s like climbing a ladder and getting on top seems so far away – out of reach. But you don’t have to do it alone. You didn’t think people would support you, or back you up, but they do.

Not everyone, of course. You learn that some people are real friends, and others aren’t. Life isn’t easy and true friendship means being there in good times and in bad. Real friends reach out and they offer that helping hand and pull you back on your feet.

Cleansing the body is one thing, cleansing the soul another. Getting clean is easier than facing the people you hurt. Making amends is even harder. How can you face them? But you find the strength and realize you’re much stronger than you ever thought.

No hard feelings, some tell you. People fuck up – people make mistakes. We all do. They understand and stand by you. Others can’t – or won’t. Maybe they were hurt too deeply. Maybe their anger keeps them back from reaching out.

You know you need to concentrate on the good things in life – on the people that help you rebuild your dream.

It’s a different dream though. You discover other values in life and you realize they are more important than that old dream you had.

What’s more important? A good relationship – or fame? Being loved – or drugs?

In the end, the decision isn’t difficult at all. It’s surprisingly easy. You latch on to it and take hold of this opportunity with both your hands and you hold on. You’re never letting go again.

Of course there will be difficulties in life – life will always kick your ass, but at least you know what you want out of life and you’re going for it.

You want to reach the goals you set for yourself. You want to love and be loved. You want to look at the world with a clear mind and lucid eyes. There’s such beauty in it and you finally see it too – it’s like looking through the eyes of a child all over again.

You rebuild the dream you once had, but you add things, people, and emotions, which weren’t there before. And that dream is worth fighting for – every day of your life.

Living the dream

I open my eyes and find

That I have a changed mind

Things, which were important before

Don’t matter to me anymore

Things that never mattered to me

Now make me see

Helping hands reach out to me

They help me live my life the way I want it to be

No hard feelings, a changed view

Life woke me up, I finally got my cue

I’m no longer dreaming my dream, but living it

I open my arms and pull them tight

These people, which provide me with a guiding light

They are important to me

They are the ones that matter to me

I finally see…

Helping hands reach out to me

They help me live my life the way I want it to be

No hard feelings, a changed view

Life woke me up, I finally got my cue

I’m no longer dreaming my dream, but living it

For Matthau