Acceptance

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“Marcus! It =is= good to see you again!” Sech Turval smiled warmly and bowed to welcome his former student. “Delenn made a wise choice in sending you here,” he said pleased. “I told her that Alit Neroon asked for you specifically. I doubt it very much he will talk to anyone else. He does not even want to talk to me and I was his teacher once!”

Marcus smiled affectionately and remembered Sech Turval’s teaching method’s only too well. “I still remember you punishing me for falling asleep during meditation class. I bet you’re still using the same rod as you did years ago and then you wonder why we students don’t have any fond memories of you?”

Sech Turval laughed amused, took Marcus’ arm and led him inside the hall.

It =is= good to be back, Marcus thought relieved, as a serene peace settled into his heart. I wish Sinclair were here as well, though! Peeking at his former teacher he wondered whether the Minbari knew the truth about Sinclair’s identity. It’s not my place to tell him, the ranger realized and fell into step beside him.

“Yes, the trainees still dislike my methods,” the older Minbari said softly. “But there is a lesson to be learned from all this. Have you been listening to your inner voice since you left, Marcus?” The human had been one of his best students, but had also worried him immensely... to this day he still worried for Marcus. The self-doubt and hate inside the ranger could be his undoing. He joined the Anla’Shok for the wrong reason., Sech Turval hoped to talk to Marcus about his doubts. It would be a harsh confrontation.

“Maybe you should change them!” Marcus quipped and nodded politely when several trainees passed them by. “It surprises me to see such a large number of humans among them,” he said, hoping for an explanation. He liked hearing the Minbari’s voice.

“Funny you should mention that.” Sech Turval gestured the ranger to enter his office. “When asked why they wanted to join us they often mentioned your name as a reason. You inspire them.”

“I do?” Marcus’ voice carried disbelief. Studying his teacher’s office he noticed its sparseness. It looked much like his own quarters except for the large desk, which had been placed in the center of the room.

“You are the first human to challenge a Minbari warrior of renown and to survive the challenge,” Sech Turval explained, then moved on to more pressing matters. “What did Entil’Zha Delenn tell you?” The Minbari took his time to observe the human. Marcus looked haggard and a dark expression clouded his eyes. He is masking his unhappiness, Sech Turval realized.

“Only that Neroon wants to negotiate about supporting her cause. The warrior caste is momentarily divided and he’s inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, but is still hesitant to make that final commitment to her.” This news had greatly surprised him, but after he had fought Neroon in Down Below he had developed a grudging respect for the warrior. It partly explained why Neroon had asked for him as his liaison, but… Marcus uncomfortably shifted in the chair. It was well known that Minbari warriors loathed humans; especially the ones who dared to call themselves Anla’Shok, fearing contamination of their culture by alien influences.

“His position has strengthened since he attempted to take Delenn’s life and he uses that advantage to influence the caste’s decisions to our benefit. A number of older clan leaders are willing to support him in secret. It is a paradox,” Sech Turval mused. “This assassination effort made Neroon realize that was he was doing was wrong and now he is trying very hard to correct that mistake… Should the warrior caste ever discover about his true motives… They would certainly declare him an outcast. It is a dangerous game he plays, Marcus.”

“I realize that, but Entil’Zha needs all the support she can get if she wants to prevent a civil war.” Marcus noticed the apprehension in the Minbari’s eyes.

“Valen protect us,” Sech Turval whispered concerned, then composed himself. “How long are you going to stay with us, Marcus?”

“A few days,” Marcus replied. “Depends on Neroon, I guess. He’ll set the pace for these meetings.”

“I heard you fought well during the challenge,” Sech Turval complimented him. “But why Denn’Sha, Marcus? We never taught you this concept during class!”

“I did some studying on my own,” Marcus mumbled apologetically. “I had to stop him and Denn’Sha is the one thing a Minbari warrior can’t walk away from.” He still remembered waking up in med lab as Neroon had stated his admission, greatly surprising him. Back then he had never expected to meet Neroon ever again.

“It was foolish of you to challenge him. You should be dead now,” Sech Turval admonished him fondly. “Although you mastered the pike Neroon has far more experience in handling it!”

“I know… Trust me, I know.” Marcus rubbed his ribs in remembered pain.

“I hope you learned your lesson well.” The Minbari got to his feet and walked over to the window. “Alit Neroon will arrive in two hours. I suggest you make yourself comfortable in your guest quarters first. You should be rested when confronting him.”

“You’re proud of him,” Marcus suddenly realized, recognizing his teacher’s tone.

“I am proud of both of you,” Sech Turval intoned and smiled gently as he turned to look at Marcus. “Neroon was one of my finest students. It is a pity he lacks patience and compassion.”

“I don’t know that much about him,” Marcus admitted, hoping to lure Sech Turval in to telling him more about Neroon. During these negotiations he had to be diplomatic and he didn’t want to make any fatal mistakes.

“He is a very private man.” The Minbari slipped his hands into the sleeves of his uniform and carefully considered his next words. “Much like you, Marcus. One cannot reach the core of his emotions or intentions. You are like him in that aspect, constantly hiding your feelings behind your annoying sense of wit.”

Indignant, Marcus wanted to reply, but Sech Turval cut him short. “No, Marcus. Let me speak my mind. I worry about you.”

The Minbari walked up to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Marcus avoided his eyes and Sech Turval nodded his head saddened.

“You will never allow anyone inside your heart,” the Minbari stated, then crooked his head. “Delenn told me that you are in love?”

“She had no right to tell you that! It’s a private matter!” Marcus snarled and immediately regretted his tone. “I apologize for the way that sounded.”

“Apology accepted.” The Minbari forced Marcus to raise his eyes by cupping his chin in his hand. “Have you told her about your feelings?” How could he possibly explain to Marcus how worried he really was? He saw impending death in Marcus' green eyes.

“She isn’t interested in me,” Marcus whispered crestfallen. “Ivanova tolerates me at best.”

Those words revealed a lot to the old Minbari. “Is that why you choose her as the object of your affection? Knowing that she will never accept you as a lover?”

This time anger rose from his throat as he addressed his former teacher. “What are you saying? That I don’t really love her?”

“Yes,” Sech Turval replied in a sharp tone. “Why else not act on your feelings?” Studying Marcus’ reactions told him a lot. “It must comfort you to know that she has no interest in you. It allows you to continue this absurd self-torment.”

Marcus rose from the chair and shook off the gentle hand that had rested on his shoulder. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“No, you can run from your feelings like you always do.” Sech Turval returned to his seat and gestured his guest to leave.

“I’m not running away,” Marcus stated and reached for the doorknob.

“You do not belong with the Anla’Shok,” the Minbari said and regretted being so cruel on purpose, but he had been determined to address this issue should he talk to Marcus ever again. He cared too much for Marcus to support him in this downward spiral.

Stunned, Marcus turned around to face the Minbari. “What did you say?” he stuttered hurt. Why is he doing this to me now? He never mentioned any of this during training!

“Your reasons to join the Anla’Shok are dishonorable,” the Minbari said and caught Marcus’ evasive gaze. “You joined us because you are driven by self-hate. You blame yourself for William’s death. That has not changed.”

“William has got nothing to do with this,” Marcus replied desperately. His hand rested on the doorknob and he was free to leave whenever he wanted to so why couldn’t he do just that?

“William is the reason why you have been tormenting yourself all these years.”

“You’re wrong,” Marcus objected, but his heart told him otherwise. Sech Turval was right and they both knew it.

“In that case you won’t mind participating in the rebirth ceremony taking place in three days.” Sech Turval leaned back in his chair and closely watched the young human. “Or you will leave the Anla’Shok out of your own accord.”

“That’s not fair!” Marcus failed to banish the trembling from his voice.

“Life itself is unfair! The universe is unfair!” the Minbari pointed out to him. “You have been given a choice and I suggest you carefully ponder your decision.  I =will= ask Entil’Zha Delenn to exclude you from our organization should you refuse to participate.” 

His heart was beating in a frantically rhythm as he turned the doorknob, never expecting this emotional blackmail. “The rangers are all I've got left,” he whispered in dread.

“It should not be that way.” Sech Turval made one more effort and went to stand beside the human. “Look at me, Marcus.”

Obeying the command he locked eyes with his former teacher.

“I am doing this because I care for you. I refuse to one day learn that you committed suicide. Yes, I know I am blunt, but the time has come to name your problems.” His eyes searched Marcus’ face and he realized that this ultimatum might be the one thing that could force Marcus to face his demons. The Anla’Shok meant the world to the young human and now he was facing the prospect of losing his last straw of hope.

Desperate to change the subject Marcus said, “I’ve got to leave now and prepare for the negotiations.” Sech Turval’s words had greatly upset him and he knew the Minbari was serious.

“Of course.” Sech Turval bowed slightly. “You have got three days to reach a decision, Marcus. The rebirth ceremony will be held at sunset. I expect you to be there.”

Marcus nodded hesitantly, lost for words and opened the door to step into the corridor. As he closed the door behind him he leaned against it and tried to steady his heartbeat. His head was pounding painfully and a terrible headache was building. Looking at his hands he realized they were shaking badly. Sech Turval had completely surprised him and sweat covered his brow. Three days? How am I going to reach a decision in three days? I don’t want to leave the rangers, but taking part in the rebirth ceremony…? I can’t do that either!

Terrified, he sought the silence of his quarters and lay down on the tilted bed. His head was spinning and Sech Turval’s words constantly echoed in his mind. “I should be preparing for the upcoming meeting with Neroon, but…I can’t concentrate! Why now? Why did you choose this moment to tell me? I can’t fail Delenn! We need Neroon’s support and I…”

Restless, Marcus rolled off the platform and began pacing his room at a frantic speed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sech Turval used the chance meditation class offered him to ponder the conversation he’d had with Marcus. Maybe, he feared, he had come on a bit too strong. It had never been his intention to intimidate the young man, only to make him realize what direction he was heading in if he didn’t confront his self-hate. It wasn’t too late for Marcus to change his ways, but only if the young man was willing to accept guidance. He will never accept mine, but just maybe I know someone else who can take that place of mentor.

“Sech Turval? Alit Neroon has just arrived.”

Pleased, he nodded towards the young trainee who had used the proper subdued tone to address him. “I want you to inform Anla’Shok Marcus of Alit Neroon’s arrival. I will personally welcome Neroon.”

The young trainee bowed respectfully and then hurried down the corridors to Marcus’ quarters. He had heard many things about Cole and wondered which were true and which were false.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still feeling restless, Marcus welcomed the knock on his door. “Yes, enter,” he said impatiently. The door opened and a young man cautiously peeked inside.

“Sorry to disturb you, sir,” he started and measured up the man who had challenged a Minbari warrior to the death, “But Alit Neroon has arrived.”

“Thank you for informing me…?” Marcus waited for the trainee to say his name. There was a look of admiration in the man’s eyes that confused him.

“My name’s William,” the trainee said and his eyes sparkled now that he was talking to the ranger who had become his hero. Marcus Cole was the reason why he had left his parents behind on Earth to join the rangers on Minbar.

“William.” A sharp knife twisted deeper into his heart. “Of course it has to be William,” he muttered softly, “You can go now.” Marcus nodded absentmindedly and thought back to Sech Turval’s statement that he had only joined the rangers to atone for his brother’s death. He had denied it, but knew it was the truth.

Somewhat confused, William closed the door, wondering what had upset Marcus Cole.

“Willie.” The name echoed through his guest quarters and for a moment he swore his brother’s voice chided him for reckless flying. Reverently he uncovered a tiny item from beneath the folds of his cloak and stared at it. It was a silver ring with no ornaments on it. Hasina had given it to William as it became clear that his heart was set on leaving the colony. A good luck charm, Hasina had called it. “It brought nothing but disaster,” Marcus mumbled saddened. He had removed the ring from Willie’s finger after his brother’s death. It was the one item he had managed to salvage which had belonged to his brother and he carried it with him as a reminder of him. One piece of physical evidence of his failure.

Marcus clenched his hand shut and pressed the metal into his skin. His greatest fear was that he would one day lose it in battle. Quickly, he slipped it back into his pocket and walked into the bathroom. He had to stop thinking about William if he wanted these meetings with Neroon to be a success.

“Would Delenn honor Sech Turval's request to expel me from the rangers?” he wondered concerned. “Maybe she would,” he realized, remembering a conversation they’d had recently. She had told him to let go of the pain, those chains of his own making. Instead he clung to the past because there was nothing in the present to live for. The idea of being booted from the rangers scared him. It was the one thing that kept him going. Yes, Sech Turval had been right to point out to him that it shouldn’t be that way, but during this last year, which he had spent onboard Babylon 5, he hadn’t made a single friend.

Not even Lennier. Yes, we relate to each other, but…  Not even Lennier had had the courage to help him confront his past. Marcus felt it was a weakness to look towards others to help him cope with Willie and Hasina’s death, by he simply couldn’t do it on his own. Ivanova had ignored him right from the start, keeping him at a distance. He realized his pain resembled hers, but they were worlds apart. Franklin had been right about that.

“Seven days… I’ve got seven days to make this work,” he said in a determined voice. It would be his parting gift to Delenn and the rangers should Sech Turval carry out his intentions. “I have no idea what I will do should they tell me to leave…”

Why did Sech Turval insist he participated in the Nafak'Cha? He had avoided the rebirth ceremony from the beginning. “Tell a secret no one has ever heard from your lips before,” Marcus repeated the instruction he had read in the manual during class. “What secret? That I hate myself for having failed them? That I wish it had been me instead of Willie? They already know that.”

He had to admit that Sech Turval was the first person to threaten him with a swift kick in the arse in case he didn’t clean up his act. It told him something else as well. The old Minbari cared for him, was worried for his spiritual well being and that realization made him smile in spite of his misery.

Suddenly he realized that Neroon might be waiting for him and he quickly washed his face to feel refreshed. I can’t mess this up. Delenn needs his support. Nervous, Marcus left his rooms and headed towards the left wing of the training facility where he knew the meetings had been scheduled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Neroon, I want a word with you, now.” Sech Turval studied the warrior. You have grown old, my friend. Facing Marcus and admitting your mistakes took their toll on you.

“If this is about supporting Delenn,” Neroon replied; unimpressed by his former teacher’s tone. Sech Turval no longer held any authority over him, as a matter of fact he was the more powerful of the two of them. But he would never use that to his advantage as he respected Sech Turval.

“No, I want to talk to you about a completely different matter.” Sech Turval noticed the guards which stayed close to Neroon at all times. “I would like to talk to you in private.”

They had reached the hall and Neroon told his guards to remain there. They objected at first, concerned about his safety, but one of Neroon’s glares silenced them. “Walk with me,” he said warmly and smiled. As long as Sech Turval refrained from convincing him to back up Delenn he was more than willing to assist his former teacher. “It has been too long since we spoke,” he stated and took in the trainees who were struggling with the wooden Denn’bok.

“You started out like them, never forget that, Neroon.” Sech Turval noticed the sparkle in Neroon’s eyes. “If you had not already made your choice I would have recommended you as Durhann’s assistant. He is growing old…”

“I am a warrior,” Neroon replied. “And you know that. You trained me.”

“Many decades ago, but our desires and fears change constantly,” Sech Turval remarked. “You look well, though.”

“If it were not for the clan leaders scheming I would feel even better. They want a civil war,” he said saddened. “I have to prevent it.”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about Delenn’s cause?”

“You lured me into talking.” Neroon smiled as one of the human trainees got whacked on the head with a Denn’bok. “That must hurt.”

“Yes, you would remember that impact.”

“Sech Turval!” Neroon exclaimed, “Do not remind me of the time when Master Durhann outsmarted me!”

“He was the teacher and you the student. Now I wonder if those roles aren’t reversed.”

They had reached Neroon’s quest rooms. Sech Turval had decided it wise to house his second guest in another part of the building. After they stepped inside he walked over to the window.

Neroon disposed of his long cloak and gloves and joined the older Minbari. “You appear worried.”

“I am.” His voice dropped and Sech Turval wondered if Neroon were the right person to help Marcus, but Neroon had faced his mistakes and moved on. “But let me have a good look at you first!” he stated and noted Neroon’s muscular physique. “You have kept yourself in excellent shape,” he complimented the warrior and loved seeing the clear expression in those dark eyes. This was a man who had faced the shadows of his darker side and had emerged victorious. “I am proud of you, my friend.”

“Thank you,” Neroon said truly touched. “But you want to talk to me about something else.”

“I was wondering about the Denn’Sha challenge Marcus uttered.” Sech Turval pointed at the low square table and the tea which had been prepared earlier.

Neroon sat cross-legged and watched him pour the ceremonial tea. “It was desperation on his part,” he said eventually. “The Anla’Shok was set on saving Delenn’s life.” Inclining his head he wondered what had made Sech Turval ask that particular question. He hadn’t expected this subject.

“Are you certain that it was his true reason for facing you?” Sech Turval offered his guest some tea.

“Why do you ask?” Neroon was growing suspicious, knowing very well that his former teacher probably had an excellent reason to put this question to him.

“I will be frank with you, Neroon. I have known you for 70 cycles now and I have come to trust you.”

“You honor me with that trust,” Neroon replied and understood that Sech Turval really needed his help.

“There have been two exceptional students in my lifetime. You are one of them,” Sech Turval admitted. “The other one is Marcus.”

“I always thought that the human was bragging when he told me that Master Durhann had trained him personally, but now I realize that he was one your best students.” Neroon remembered their bout in that dark corner of the space station only too well. Marcus had completely surprised him by challenging him to the death.

“Marcus is very talented. If he had our strength he would easily defeat many of our most splendid warriors.”

“But what he lacks in strength he makes up for in agility and speed,” Neroon said, paying the human a compliment. “So why ask about his intentions for fighting me?”

“I fear for him, Neroon,” Sech Turval said in the end. “I fear that he is too eager to die for the One, to die for any one as long as the cause is just.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Neroon questioned. “Our main aim is to serve and a warrior finds honor in laying down his life for the greater cause.”

“Motivation, Neroon,” Sech Turval berated him. “What is your motivation? Why die to ensure someone else’s life?”

“We live to serve,” Neroon replied in sincerity.

Sech Turval nodded his head in approval. “But Marcus… his reasons are wrong. He wants to atone for crimes he never committed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Neroon wondered suddenly, puzzled by Sech Turval’s facial expression.

“I want you to talk to him. See if you can make him open up to you. You will be spending a lot of time together during these talks. Do you think he trusts you?”

“Trust me?” Neroon exclaimed baffled. “I tried to kill him!”

“But you let him live,” Sech Turval pointed out to him. “That is another question I would like answered; why? Your honor is tainted now because you did not end his life.” His instincts suddenly told him that he was missing something here. He had been so preoccupied with Marcus that he had never pondered that last question.

Neroon’s eyes hardened and his voice was icy cold. “I thought he was dead when I left him.”

“Neroon… you are lying!” Sech Turval chided him in a similar tone. What had happened just now? Why had Neroon reacted in such an uncharacteristic way to his question? Was there more going on then he realized? “You would never =assume= you killed someone. You would make sure!”

“I did not have the time!” Neroon said defensively. It was imperative that he ended this unsettling conversation now before the older Minbari figured out the truth, which he had been hiding so successfully… until now.

“I do not believe you, Neroon,” Sech Turval stated, but decided not to push any further. This was a private matter between Neroon and Marcus. It did make him wonder though. Denn’Sha could only end in death. So why did you stop short, my friend? “I scheduled the first meeting in one hour. That should leave you plenty of time to get settled in,” Sech Turval informed Neroon and rose to his feet. “I am growing old,” he whispered as his weary bones protested the movement. “I will send a ranger to take you to the designated area.”

Respectfully, Neroon got to his feet as well and bowed deeply, relieved Sech Turval had refrained from asking questions in depth. “I will try and talk to the human Anla’Shok and keep an open mind,” he promised sincerely.

“I know you will,” Sech Turval whispered and was determined to start an investigation of his own. Something didn’t make sense and he had to find out what it was. “I will leave you now. I had to leave in the midst of meditation class and I fear several students might already have fallen asleep.”

Neroon grinned. “Then I suggest you do not forget to take along your rod.”

“You never fell asleep,” Sech Turval said approvingly.

“Yes, I did,” Neroon quipped. “But I sleep with my eyes open.”

As hard as he tried the teacher couldn’t find the lie in that statement and he realized that Neroon must have fooled him many times during his training. “With your eyes open?” he repeated. “I must remember that in case one of my current students adopts that method as well. I will see you during dinner?”

“Absolutely.” Neroon watched the older Minbari leave and then uncovered his clenched fist. Sech Turval had come too close to guessing the truth. Resolutely, he slipped back into his cloak and grabbed his gloves. I must have been mad to request the Anla’Shok to be my liaison in this matter. This will only complicate the negotiations! But there was no way back any longer and he returned to his former position. Sitting down on the floor he tried to meditate. Why did he have to ask =me= to keep an eye on Marcus Cole? Does he suspect anything? No, I do not think so…and why did he ask about the Anla’Shok’s reasons for challenging me? What was it Sech Turval said? Marcus wants to atone for crimes he never committed? His voice was grave when he spoke those words, revealing true worry.

It had been months since they had faced each other in Down Below, but the human had never been far from his mind. The revelation, which had shown from Marcus’ eyes, still haunted him. A human had been willing to die for one of his own while he was intent on killing her. He invoked Valen’s name. Neroon remembered the tremors, which had shaken the Anla’Shok’s voice. Of the same heart… Delenn was right.

He had never believed the Grey Council when they had told him the truth about Jeffrey Sinclair and the fact that Minbari souls were being reborn into human bodies.But Marcus’ courage had convinced him that the human indeed possessed a Minbari soul. That is one reason why I let him live, Neroon admitted to himself. “One Minbari does not kill another.”

But the second reason had been even more important. Not now! I cannot ponder this now when I have to face him! Neroon leaped to his feet as someone knocked on the door and he quickly realized the hour had already passed. With predatory grace he stole over to the door. Outside, the two guards bowed as he appeared. “I do not need you while I am here. You are dismissed.” The guards didn’t protest this time and Neroon focused his attention on the young trainee standing opposite him and recognized the youngster. “Does your head hurt?” he asked teasingly.

William quickly lowered his eyes, impressed by Neroon’s physical presence. “I didn’t pay enough attention to the attacker.”

“You were lucky that the Denn’bok was made of wood and that your sparring partner held back,” Neroon told him. “I suggest you do not challenge anyone to Denn’Sha.” Amused, Neroon noticed the young man’s flustered face. Foolish humans…

“I’m here to take you to the conference rooms,” William said; embarrassed that the Minbari warrior had seen him get hit on the head earlier.

“Then lead on.” Neroon gestured the trainee to show him the way. William’s tender age surprised him. They are very eager to serve. He remembered the Anla’Shok’s battle cry; We live for the One, we die for the One. And you almost did, Marcus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nervously fumbling the cloth of his cloak, Marcus wished Neroon would finally arrive. He had been waiting for 30 minutes now and realized there had been no reason to hurry. Neroon, of course, would want a breather before starting the talks. Mentally he rehearsed all kinds of different openings and techniques to steer the conversation in the direction he wanted it to go. But Neroon was unpredictable and he had to keep in mind that it was the warrior who would dictate his demands. After all, it was Delenn who wanted =his= support.

Marcus had successfully pushed back all memories of Willie and only hoped he wouldn’t run into the young trainee, William, again. Had Sech Turval sent the young man on purpose to inform him of Neroon’s visit? Slowly he realized that the Minbari teacher was scheming behind his back.

Footfalls coming from the corridor told him he wouldn’t be alone much longer and he straightened out his outfit. Taking a deep breath he mentally prepared himself for the encounter. I have to convince him! Marcus thought with an echo of despair. When the door opened he got up from the chair and directed his gaze at the door.

Outside, Neroon dismissed William who looked more than happy to leave him. Well, I should not have teased him about that lump on his head. Momentarily surprised about his heightened sense of humor, he shook off the thought that it might have something to do with the prospect of meeting Marcus Cole. He pushed open the door and resolutely took a step inside, suddenly wondering if he was holding these talks for the benefit for his people or to satisfy his own needs. Inside the room, standing next to a large wooden table, the human stood waiting for him. Neroon wasn’t prepared for the shock of seeing him well and on his feet again. The last time he had seen the human Marcus had hardly been conscious and lying in an exam bed. The green eyes possessed a sad sparkle, which he couldn’t identify, and a nervous twitch near his mouth told Neroon that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. “Anla’Shok Marcus.” He was relieved that his voice sounded steady and firm.

“Alit Neroon.” Marcus bowed politely. Using this opportunity to take in the Minbari he wondered how it was possible that he had survived the Denn’Sha challenge. He must have been playing with me. The warrior was one rock of solid muscle who could have broken any of his bones, including his neck, in mere seconds. Yet, he allowed me to stop him! The dark eyes were open, yet clouded at the same time and Marcus decided to start the negotiations as cautiously as possible, not knowing if Neroon had come here with a secret agenda.

“I suggest we do away with the titles.” Neroon closed the door behind him. Slowly he strode into the room, his eyes never leaving the human’s face.

“That’s fine with me,” Marcus agreed and gestured the warrior to take a seat, politely waiting for Neroon to sit down first. But the Minbari walked over to the window instead and Marcus felt briefly confused. All his rehearsed speeches had suddenly disappeared from his memory. The grace, with which Neroon moved, reminded him of the deadly cunning the warrior possessed in battle. I certainly won’t challenge him a second time!

Neroon rested his back against the wall and pretended to look out of the window while in reality he was wondering what to say. It had definitely been a mistake to request Marcus Cole as his liaison. He should have talked things out with Delenn instead. Being alone with Marcus in this room did little to further his concentration.

“Entil’Zha Delenn told me you wanted to discuss supporting her cause in case a civil war developed?” Marcus asked in a soft tone, wondering about the sudden tense atmosphere in the room. Was Neroon ignoring him on purpose?

“Yes.” Neroon focused on the subject instead of wondering how it would feel to tangle his hands in the human’s hair. Ever since their fight he had wondered about that. Would it resemble the facial hair some male Minbari grew? Or would it be softer? Irritated by this line of thought he pushed himself away from the wall and settled down behind the desk.

Marcus took that as a sign to also sit down and start the talks for real. “Entil’Zha is very concerned for the well being of all three castes. She fears the worker caste might pay the highest price in a civil war.”

“What do you think?”

“About what?” Lost, Marcus wondered what Neroon was asking him. The warrior now sat opposite him and his gloved hands drummed on the table.

“Is Delenn really this concerned about my people?” Neroon added ‘my people’ on purpose, eager to see the human’s reaction.

“I think she worries about all Minbari,” Marcus replied carefully. Why would Neroon be interested in his opinion?

“I know =you= were concerned when I tried to end her life.” Neroon crooked his head and caught the sudden surprise in Marcus’ eyes.

“You want to talk about…”

“Your Denn’Sha challenge,” Neroon confirmed and remembered Sech Turval’s concern. He couldn’t dismiss the teacher’s worry. Sech Turval had known Marcus for a long time and was better suited to form an opinion about the human’s intentions.

“Now?” Marcus asked uncomfortably. “I assumed you wanted to address Delenn and…” the ranger tried to get their conversation back on track but Neroon apparently had different ideas

“I want to discuss our fight first,” he stated and clasped his hands while trying to figure out why, in Valen’s name, he had addressed the past in the first place. Was it Sech Turval’s concern that urged him to try and make the human open up to him? If it were someone else I would not care about his well being, but Marcus…

“What’s there to discuss?” Marcus asked stunned.

Realizing the human was growing suspicious Neroon decided on a different approach. “You surprised me during our encounter. Several of your counter attacks were hard to block. I want to use this opportunity and study your moves.”

Flabbergasted, Marcus pushed back his chair, creating more distance between them. “Why?”

“I am a warrior, Marcus. I hate being defeated in battle.” Neroon had noticed the human’s attempt to distance himself and remained motionless. Something he had said made Marcus feel threatened.

“I didn’t defeat you,” Marcus sighed stunned. “If Lennier hadn’t found me…”

“You would be dead now. Yes, I apologize for not taking care of your injuries after we fought,” Neroon said honestly. “I failed to perform that duty.”

Speechless, Marcus stared at the Minbari. Why are we talking about this? Does he have some kind of hidden agenda? But why would he be interested in… me?

“I know of a quiet place near the gardens were we won’t be disturbed,” Neroon said, probing Marcus’ thoughts. “Would you accompany me and show me your defensive moves?” Amused, he smiled seeing the disbelief in the human’s eyes. “We can talk about Delenn later.” He had already made up his mind to support her when necessary. These talks were only a front. I have been lying to myself. I requested your presence because I want you near and you would never have honored my request without proper reason.

Realizing that ultimate truth warmth flowed through his mind and he finally admitting that truth into his heart. Rising to his feet he waited for Marcus' reaction. A moment ago he had decided to act on his feelings and see what kind of person Marcus truly was. To find out if Marcus was worthy of his attention. If he shows no interest in me I can dismiss my own feelings, but not before I have tried to reach him. The fear that Sech Turval might be right and that Marcus was too eager to die continued to nag at his conscience. He couldn’t turn his back on Marcus, knowing what he did. “Are you carrying your Denn’bok with you?”

“Yes, I’ve got my pike,” Marcus replied automatically, unsure what was actually happening.

“Then we can leave.” Neroon strode over to the door, opened it and gestured the human to step outside.

Marcus however, froze and had to force his body into motion. “I don’t understand,” he muttered eventually.

“What is there to understand? I want to learn from the mistakes I made when I faced you.” Neroon noticed the twitch near Marcus' eyes, which were strangely clouded.

Learn from your mistakes? Marcus felt confused. There was something going on here he was definitely not aware of. Why would Neroon want to replay their encounter?

They walked in silence through the deserted corridors before reaching the main building. Here, several trainees and instructors were going through exhausting training exercises. Marcus peeked to see if Sech Turval or Master Durhann were present, then he could address them and avoid this sparring session with Neroon, but the two teachers were nowhere in sight.

Walking beside the human Neroon saw the expression in those green eyes and wondered why Marcus looked like he was going to bolt out of the building any moment now. Why did he feel cornered? It was beyond him why a training session would make Marcus nervous. “Master Durhann taught us well,” he said in the end, trying to re-establish the contact.

Us? Marcus mused, surprised that Neroon would include a human in that way, he wasn’t a warrior. The groans and yells reminded him of a time when he had been one of the trainees. Jeffrey Sinclair had been Ranger One back then. As they left the compound Marcus grew calm again. Temswhees were flying in the sky, trying to impress possible mates. Marcus was surprised to see the birds, which usually nested near temples here on the compound. One of the birds uttered an exultant cry as one of the females accepted his advances. “They make such a terrible noise,” he muttered, not realizing he was actually speaking the words. Looking up at Neroon he wondered about the warrior’s smile.

“I agree. They are noisy and annoying.” Neroon led the human through the gardens and asked, “Do you know there is a lake situated near here?”

“Yes, Jeffrey Sinclair took me there once. Valen planted Earth flowers near the lake…” and he grew silent.

“Jeffrey Sinclair,” Neroon muttered displeased. “I have no other choice than to accept the Grey Council’s explanation that he truly was Valen, have I?”

Surprised, Marcus halted momentarily. “He traveled back in time to become Valen.”

Neroon also stopped walking and locked eyes with Marcus, wondering why there was such sadness in his expression.

“I was there when he took Babylon 4 back in time,” Marcus explained and averted his gaze.

You are not telling me the entire truth, Neroon realized and gestured the human to halt as Marcus wanted to continue their walk. “You have been witness to many things in your life then.”

“Too many things,” Marcus acknowledged saddened and was growing desperate to get away from Neroon’s curiosity.

“You sound depressed when speaking of the past.” Neroon gave in to the human’s desire to get moving again. The sun would set in an hour and they hadn’t even reached their destination.

“You seem to know your way around here,” Marcus said in an attempt to change their topic. The last thing he wanted was for Neroon to know about his failure in the past. Surely the warrior would loathe him once he knew he had failed the ones closest to him.

“Master Durhann loves the gardens and as a dutiful former student I often visited him and when I did I was… dragged out here,” he quipped eventually, feeling the need to loosen up their conversation. Feeling cornered, Marcus would never tell him his worries.

“I never saw you here during my training.”

“I did not announce my visits, “ Neroon said. “It might appear odd for a warrior to regularly visit the Anla’Shok.” Leading the human towards a clearing he inhaled the fresh air. The lake had appeared and he was tempted to take a swim, but first he had to learn more about the human.

“I take it this is the spot you mentioned?” Marcus looked about and had to admit that it held an enchanting beauty. He hadn’t been here in a long time. The flowers were blossoming and emitting a sweet fragrance. Bright and pastel nuances mixed and offered him a scenery of breath taking colors which now lay before him. Unable to resist temptation he bent down to collect a rose, which had already opened her petals.

“I always wondered how this collection of flowers reached Minbar.” Neroon watched Marcus and finally saw clear green eyes, no longer hooded by past regrets or fears.

Holding the rose in his hands Marcus wished he could send it to Babylon 5. Ivanova loved roses, but the delicate flower would wither away before reaching the space station. And she wouldn’t appreciate the gesture any way. It would only irritate her. The flower dropped from his hand.

No longer satisfied with only watching, Neroon took hold of his Denn’bok and extended it.

Hearing that familiar sound Marcus returned to the present and a gentle smile appeared on his face. “You want to fight here?”

“Not to fight; practice,” he corrected Marcus and adopted a fighting stance.

“You’re used to getting your way, aren’t you?” Marcus sighed and reached for his pike. “Is that the one you used during my challenge?” Looking at the warrior’s weapon he remembered seeing it stained with his blood.

“Yes.” Confidently, Neroon circled Marcus. “You swept me off my feet using that… forward roll,” he remembered and mimicked that situation, “Show me.”

Doing his best to remember that particular action, Marcus realized that his memories of their encounter were foggy at best. Sometime during their fight he had reacted as if in trance. Willing to indulge the warrior this time he repeated the action and Neroon leaped out of his way before his pike could connect with the warrior.

“I have to remember that one,” Neroon remarked pleased. Now that they were sparring an eager gleam had appeared in the human’s eyes. Experiencing a similar adrenaline rush Neroon used a different attack to test Marcus’ reaction.

Relieved that Neroon was holding back, Marcus felt more confident to go along with this exercise and anticipated the Minbari’s next move.

“Sech Turval was right,” Neroon said, not even panting yet. “You are truly talented.”

Feeling embarrassed Marcus lowered his eyes. Hearing such praise coming from Neroon’s lips surprised him. The fact that a Minbari acknowledged a human’s talent for one of their martial arts was… unreal.

Seeing Marcus’ unease Neroon grinned. “You are not used to receiving praise.”

I never feel like I deserve it, Marcus thought uncomfortably and decided to ignore Neroon’s remark and then focused on their fight once more.

Moments changed into long minutes and finally became hours. Darkness had started to descend on them when Neroon called a stop to their exercise. “You are growing tired and the darkness is hampering you.”

“You don’t seem affected by it,” Marcus whispered and had a hard time regulating his breathing. Neroon had pushed him all the way and now his abused muscles protested against the sudden stop.

“I have perfect vision in the dark,” Neroon explained, “A definite advantage of being Minbari.”

Still panting, Marcus leaned on his pike to rest his tired body.

“You should work out more often.” Collapsing his Denn’bok Neroon searched the sky in an attempt to find out what hour it was by studying the stars and moons. “We missed dinner and Sech Turval will be annoyed we did not join him.”

“Is it that late?” Marcus wondered and closed his pike as well.

“Yes. We should start making our way back now.” The warrior looked once more at the tranquil surface of the lake and was determined to return here to take that swim.

“Good thing you’ve got night vision then,” Marcus wisecracked and was surprised to feel at peace. “Otherwise we would be stuck here and it can get awfully cold at night.”

“I spent the night here once,” Neroon admitted and searched his way back. Marcus followed closely and he was extremely aware of the human’s scent, which was truly intoxicating. Fighting down his sudden arousal, Neroon wondered about the attraction which had been born the moment he had stared into green eyes who had refused to admit defeat. Marcus hadn’t pleaded for his life after he had lost the fight. Instead he had called on Valen’s name. Such courage could not go unnoticed and Neroon had felt the first thang of attraction back then. It would take them an hour at least to get back to the training facility, and feeling curious, Neroon commanded, “Tell me more about human custom.”

Marcus swallowed hard, wondering about the warrior’s choice of topic. “Custom?” he asked, trying to zero on what Neroon wanted to know.

“Yes,” Neroon said with a sly smile. “Human mating rituals.”

Gulping for air Marcus succeeded in suppressing the blush that threatened to color his face. “Human what?” he whispered stunned.

“I want to compare them to Minbari ones.” Delighted, Neroon noticed the human’s slightly flushed appearance. He was teasing Marcus and found his companion’s reaction most amusing. “Do humans stay together for life? Are they monogamous?” he added teasingly.

Truly embarrassed at this point Marcus tried to answer those questions. Neroon, I’m the wrong person to ask those questions, being a virgin! “Humans may choose to get married or to live together without any form of ceremony. Most couples don’t stay together forever and get a divorce when they realize that they have grown apart. Human law allows separation and then they can move on and find a new partner.”

“I see, this is interesting. Please continue.” Neroon brushed some branches out of their way and realized cold was sneaking into the night’s air. “What about my second question?”

“Being monogamous is a personal choice I guess, though most humans are.” Marcus almost tripped over the roots of a tree, but managed to correct the mistake and continued to walk on. Neroon’s questions were definitely distracting him.

“Does a male usually choose to be with a female or another male?” Neroon inquired and closely observed him. The blush on the human’s face had to mean something. Why was he uncomfortable discussing this subject? Being a warrior, honesty, loyalty and trust were important to him and that urged him to choose his partner carefully.

“That’s personal too,” Marcus replied quickly, desperate to get back to his quarters. Discussing intimate relations with Neroon was unsettling as he didn’t know why the warrior was this interested in the subject. “Both options are perfectly acceptable in human society… though, it took us centuries to grow used to seeing two people of the same gender together.”

“Do you prefer a certain gender?” Neroon added wickedly, loving the fact that the blush on the human’s face was deepening.

Remaining silent, Marcus considered the question. “I’ve been attracted to females in the past,” he admitted eventually and decided that it was time for Neroon to tell him some personal stuff in return. “What about you, Neroon?”

Accepting the challenge Neroon replied, “I had female and male lovers,” and kept a close eye on the human.

“Can we change the subject now?” Marcus hoped Neroon got the point that he was uncomfortable discussing something he knew very little about, never having had a lover in his life.

“In a moment,” Neroon decided and saw a light emanating from the main building in the distance. Before they had to join the others again he wanted to know one more thing. “Do you have a lover at present?” Marcus might think him impertinent, but as a warrior he preferred the direct approach. Once he knew the answer to that question he would proceed… or not.

“No,” Marcus muttered embarrassed, knowing only too well Ivanova would never accept him as a lover. Maybe Sech Turval was right, maybe I choose her because she can’t love me back. “And I’m not going to find one,” he added beneath his breath in a soft tone and hoped Neroon hadn’t heard him. Something about the warrior made him lower his walls and he was already regretting revealing this much about his private matters.

“I thought you liked a human female? What is her name?” Neroon tried to remember the name which he had heard while being on the station. Before leaving med lab he had overheard a conversation Lennier and Delenn were having in which they expressed their hope that… Commander Ivanova would pay the Anla’Shok a visit. He had always been good at reading between the lines and the tone they had used had told him Marcus must care a lot for this female. “Commander Ivanova?” he finally ended his question.

“Have you been talking to Sech Turval? Why is everyone interested in my non-existent love life, all of a sudden?” Marcus exclaimed and bit his lip as he realized what he had just said. Bugger, why did I have to add that last part?

It took Neroon several moments to process all the new information the human had unwillingly told him. “Yes, I have been talking to Sech Turval, but,“ he paused and decided to tell Marcus a half truth, “but we talked about old times.” Neroon placed a firm hand on the human’s shoulder.

 

Marcus froze and stared the building, which was rising from the dark. Stubborn, he refused to look at the Minbari.

“Non-existent?” Neroon said gently, “Are you trying to tell me that you have never had a lover in your entire life?” Trying hard to lock eyes with Marcus he had to give in as the human ignored him. “I apologize if I sounded condescending. You merely surprised me. I do not know that many warriors who prefer to remain pure.”

Prefer? Marcus thought, but kept silent. Like it’s my decision to stay a virgin! He had told Ivanova that he was waiting for that special person in his life, wanting their first sexual encounter to be special and now he realized that he would probably die a virgin. Sech Turval saw right through me when he told me that I don’t let people in. I’m incapable of building an intimate relationship as I would have to show my true colors.

The play of emotions on Marcus’ face took Neroon aback. Why is he this upset? Neroon removed his hand. Allowing Marcus more time to gather his thoughts he remained at the human’s side. Remaining pure and untouched was an ideal among the religious caste, but certainly not something he, as a warrior, would adopt.

Long minutes crawled by and finally Marcus realized they were still standing in the same spot. Looking up at the warrior he saw acceptance and admiration in those dark eyes. Why? Marcus shook off his discomfort and started walking again.

“My questions upset you,” Neroon started in a concerned tone. “I apologize for asking them.”

“No need to do that.” Marcus forced himself to smile. “But we should apologize to Sech Turval for standing him up for dinner.” Pulling his cloak closer he noticed the chilling cold for the first time.

“Yes, we should do that,” Neroon agreed and sighed distressed now the depressed expression in Marcus’ eyes had re-appeared. He had loved to see them sparkle and radiate life, but that expression was gone now.

“Do you want to start the negotiations tomorrow?” Marcus suddenly remembered the reason why they were here in the first place and was determined not to allow any distractions tomorrow.

“Yes, we will continue this tomorrow.”

This? Is he referring to the talks or…? A tad scared to end that thought Marcus caught sight of Sech Turval who was admonishing a student for not listening to his inner voice.

The teacher had seen them enter together and felt strangely pleased. There was something in Neroon’ demeanor that told him that the warrior had acted on his request. “Neroon, Marcus… I am displeased with the both of you!”

“Sorry we missed dinner, but…” Marcus started, but stopped seeing the mirth in Sech Turval’s eyes. “You aren’t mad at us at all!”

“Well, not completely. I trust you had a valid reason to desert your old teacher?”

“We visited Valen’s garden.”

Surprised to hear that answer, Marcus shot the warrior a quick gaze. “Yes, we did and lost track of time.”

“I hope you used that opportunity to meditate there. The silence is very comforting.” Sech Turval realized he should return to class. “Did you make any progress with the negotiations? he inquired, knowing only too well that they hadn’t addressed that issue yet.

“We will continue the talks tomorrow,” Neroon informed him. “I have taken leave from the warriors’ council for an indefinite period and can stay as long as will be necessary.”

But I've only have got 7 days to convince you and I already wasted one of them. Marcus stared at the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unable to fall sleep Marcus started to pace his rooms. For one hour he had tossed and turned on the platform, fighting his growling hunger. Thanks to Neroon’s adventurous streak they had missed dinner and now he was seriously considering stealing into the kitchen to get something to eat.

He had shed cloak, tunic and boots, but old habits died hard and his pike was still attached to his belt. Although he was completely safe he couldn’t bring himself to separate from it.

Neroon’s questions still occupied him. He didn’t believe Neroon was this interested in human society and why had he asked =those= questions in particular? Had he imagined seeing delight in the warrior’s eyes when admitting he had no lover?

His mind constantly replied their conversation and Neroon’s interest only made sense if the warrior was romantically interested in a human. Now, he was certain Neroon didn’t know that many humans, so who had aroused that interest? Neroon mentioned Ivanova… Is that it? Is he worried that we are romantically involved? Suddenly, Marcus thought he had figured it all out. Of course! Neroon had tried disguising his interest in the Commander, asking questions which seemed to concentrate on him and not Ivanova.

A moment later he realized how unreal his conclusion was. Neroon and Ivanova? Well, she would have trouble spacing him or making him back down with one of her glares. Neroon isn’t the type to shy away from a challenge. Was that really it? Had Neroon developed an interest in Ivanova? Fat chance she will accept him as a lover! Amused, he decided not to worry about the subject any longer.

His stomach growled in protest. He had to make that trip to the kitchen without being caught. Although he was a guest, he had to abide by the same rules as the students did and that meant no stealing into the kitchen. He briefly wondered whether Neroon had the same problem, then dismissed the idea. Minbari could go several days without taking in food.

After putting his tunic and boots back on, he cautiously opened the door to make sure no one was inside the hallway. A smiled flashed across his features as he remembered doing this three years ago after he had missed practice. Worried, he wondered if he could pull it off twice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sech Turval wasn’t surprised to hear a knock on his door. He'd expected the warrior to show up sooner or later. The look on Neroon’s face had told him the warrior would visit him to gather more information about Marcus. “Come inside, Neroon,” he said and smiled when the warrior appeared.

“You were expecting me.” Neroon bowed respectfully. “I am sorry to disturb you at this late hour, but…”

“I hoped that you would come by to talk.” Sech Turval pulled his robes closer and sat down.

“I want to talk to you about Marcus.”

Ah, no longer Anla’Shok Marcus, just Marcus now… the teacher thought pleased. “What do you want to know?”

“You mentioned supposed crimes he wants to atone for?” Neroon remained near the doorway, uncertain whether he was being indiscrete by coming here unannounced.

“I will tell you,” Sech Turval promised and gestured Neroon to sit down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So far so good,” Marcus mumbled and opened the cupboard. Surprised, he barely managed to suppress a yelp. “And all that time they told us they only had Flarn and fruit!” In ecstasy, Marcus looked at the bread, cheese and peanut butter. “Or one of the trainees has taken over Dagun’s kitchen!” he muttered while taking out the food items, determined to build one hell of a sandwich or preferably a lot of them. If Dagun, the Minbari who was in charge over the kitchen, caught him here… Better not end that thought!

After a swift inspection he found a knife and plate and started to make some sandwiches, which he planned on taking with him to his room. Finally satisfied with the amount of sandwiches, he made certain he put everything back in the right place. Quickly, he cleaned up all the stuff he had used. Before dashing out of the kitchen he remembered just in time to clean up the breadcrumbs.

Unknown to him a pair of troubled dark eyes followed him through the corridor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon had seen the food items stacked away underneath Marcus’ cloak and decided to follow him to see where the human had his quarters. Careful not to make any unnecessary sounds he stole after Marcus.

Halfway back to his quarters Marcus quickly looked behind him. He had the uncanny feeling someone was watching. “Who’s there?” he whispered, hoping it wasn’t Dugan or Sech Turval. The possible reprimand they would unleash on him already made him cringe.

“It is I,” Neroon said and stepped forth from the shadows. Marcus’ facial expression showed relief. “Did you grow hungry?” he said and pointed at the badly hidden sandwiches.

Confused, Marcus quickly nodded his head. “Please don’t tell Sech Turval or Dugan?”

“I could be bribed with some of those sandwiches,” Neroon replied, but his hunger was of a different kind. His mind was still processing everything the old teacher had told him. Hearing Marcus’ history had made him pensive and he was still trying to understand the human’s twisted way of thinking. To him Marcus carried no guilt, only in his own imagination. Maybe he could help Marcus accept that past and to burn the guilt he had imposed on himself to cinder.

“How many sandwiches?” asked Marcus in an argumentative mood.

Neroon ignored the question and grinned instead.

“Okay,” Marcus gave in and quickly resumed his walk to his quarters, “But If I end up still hungry =you= can sneak back and prepare more!”

Neroon enjoyed the sudden spark of fire and wished the human fought the smothering guilt more often. At least I now know why there is such pain and sadness in his eyes. The shadows of guilt had lifted during their sparring match and he had caught a glimpse of Marcus’ true nature, not the one he had forced upon himself.

“I’m afraid there are no chairs here,” Marcus said apologetically and sat down on the floor after putting the sandwiches on a plate that had been standing on the table.

“This will do.” Neroon sniffed at the food item. He had tasted bread before, but the slimy substance in between the slices was unknown to him.

Seeing Neroon’s disgusted expression Marcus couldn’t help laughing aloud. “It’s edible, Neroon, try it!”

“I will take your word for it.” Neroon took a bite out of the sandwich. Although it tasted abominable he swallowed it.

“It’s peanut butter…” Marcus quipped and demonstratively devoured his sandwich.

“I am not that hungry any more.” Neroon disposed of the disgusting substance. Looking about he wondered why they had been put in different sections of the building.

Leaning back against the wall Marcus drew up his legs and felt comfortable for the first time since they had started talking. “So you’re interested in Ivanova? I have to warn you though. She isn’t interested in men or Minbari… I think,” he added and hoped he had hit bull’s eye with that remark.

What is he talking about? Why would I be interested in Ivanova? “Why do you assume I have an interest in your Commander?”

“Isn’t that why you asked if I wanted a relationship with her? She’s currently uninvolved, you know,” Marcus said and his confusion mounted. Had he misunderstood the warrior earlier or had he drawn the wrong conclusion?

Neroon finally understood Marcus’ line of thinking and chuckled. I bet you never considered yourself being the object of my interest, he mentally quipped. But Marcus was waiting for his answer so he said, “You assumed wrong.”

“I did?” Raising an eyebrow Marcus refrained from eating his last sandwich.

“Yes.” Neroon removed his gloves and pushed them underneath his belt. His hands had become sweaty and he disliked wearing them. “Are you still hoping to one day build a relationship with her?”

“No,” Marcus replied a tad too quickly. “She's lost too many people close to her and so is scared to get hurt again.”

She sounds a lot like you, Marcus, only you use a different disguise. Neroon stretched his legs and rose to his feet. “I will now retire to my own rooms.”

Quickly, Marcus got up to walk his guest to the door. “How late do you want to start the talks tomorrow?” he inquired, reminding himself he had a deadline here.

“0900 hours,” Neroon decided. “I will meet you at the lake.”

“The lake?” Marcus repeated baffled. “Why there?”

Because you feel at ease there. “No eavesdroppers.”

"All right, if that is what you want,” Marcus sighed and realized that he could only give in to Neroon’s demands.

As Neroon walked into the corridor he glanced once more at Marcus and wished there weren’t that many differences separating them. Why did I have to grow attached to a human? Neroon sighed privately. Especially a human who is so torn apart by his past?

Marcus closed the door and released the sigh he had been fighting. Finally alone! Why had Neroon been so damned interested in human mating rituals? Maybe he was speaking the truth and he only wants to compare them to Minbari ones… Perhaps I should just ask him…

After removing his boots again he lay down on the tilted platform and attempted to meditate. The sandwiches had filled his stomach and all his energy was being diverted to his digestive system. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Anla’Shok Marcus?”

Marcus woke with a start and didn’t recognize the voice at first. He had heard it before however and suddenly remembered it was William. Momentarily flinching while thinking the name he said, “Yes, I’m awake!”

 

“Alit Neroon asked me to remind you of your nine o’clock appointment.”

“What’s the time now?” Marcus quickly rolled off the platform and headed towards the bathroom. At least here he had the luxury of a water shower.

“It’s a quarter to nine,” William replied and the young man realized that Marcus could never make it on time. “Do you want me to tell him that you’ll be late?”

“No.” He couldn’t send William to the lake. The trainee didn’t know how to get there. No water shower then! He only splashed some water in to his face, trying to rid himself of the lingering sleep. “You can go, Wil… liam…I don’t need you.”

In the hallway William noticed the tremors in the ranger’s voice while speaking his name. “I’ll be off to class then.” Why hadn’t Neroon sent him to wake Cole earlier?

“I never oversleep!” Marcus exclaimed and studied his reflection in the mirror. Maybe it was because of his surroundings that he had slept this well. Not a single nightmare had disrupted his sleep last night. A rare experience for certain. Stepping into his boots, he grabbed his cloak and almost stumbled over his feet as he bolted out of the room. Marcus ran a hand through his hair trying to untangle the knots, which had formed during the night. This day is off to a bad start! he thought, worried that Neroon might be annoyed with him being late. Minbari were always punctual. Neroon had kept him so busy that he hadn’t yet had a chance to ponder Sech Turval’s ultimatum and that worried him. If Neroon hadn’t requested me as his liaison I would still be on Babylon 5 and Sech Turval…  Running through the main hall he noted his former teacher’s amused expression. “I’m already late!” he exclaimed and headed towards the door.

“Good,” Sech Turval muttered. “Whatever you are doing, Neroon, it's working.” Privately, he thanked Valen for Neroon’s interest in the young ranger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holding his breath Neroon dove to the bottom of the lake and challenged his lungs to deal with the pressure. He loved swimming, something he could only rarely indulge in. A fish indignantly glared at him and made him grin. Get out of my way, he thought and started to return to the surface. It was still early and he was the only one out here. The sun had already warmed the water to an acceptable level and he had given in to temptation as he had stripped off his clothes. The water gently moved against his body and he loved the feeling of freedom he experienced swimming. Realizing that it was about time for Marcus to arrive he swam towards the clearing where he had disposed of his clothes, planning on getting dressed before the human appeared

But Marcus had already arrived, having run as quickly as possible to make up for the lost time. As he came to a stand still he stared at Neroon’s uniform and wondered what had happened. “Neroon?” he said, studying his surroundings and finally realized something was moving in the water. “Oh no,” he stammered embarrassed as he realized that the warrior had to be naked. Uncertain how to react he continued to gaze at Neroon who had reached the shore and was now emerging from the water.

Neroon had noticed his arrival. Impressed, he realized the ranger must have run the entire way to get here that quickly. Marcus' stamina was improving. Neroon stepped ashore and uninhibited, he walked towards the spot where he had left his clothes.

Wondering whether he should turn away from the Minbari Marcus remained motionless. Neroon didn’t seem embarrassed by being naked and Marcus found himself taking in his appearance. He had known the warrior was muscular, but to actually see the rock hard body made him realize he could never defeat Neroon in battle. There was too much concentrated strength inside his body. As his gaze involuntarily dropped beneath the waistline he averted his eyes and stared at his feet instead.

Picking up his trousers and shirt Neroon savored the last remaining drops of water on his body. Puzzled by Marcus' reaction he asked, “Why are you blushing?”

“I am?” Marcus hadn’t realized that and now did turn away from the Minbari.

“Do humans feel ashamed of their body?” Neroon slipped into his uniform. It was a pity he knew so little of human society and its rules. Could it be that it was forbidden to undress in public?

“No,” Marcus sighed in despair. This was starting to resemble yesterday when he had been insecure of his reactions all day long. It is just me being shy, he added privately.

Sensing the real reason behind Marcus’ reaction Neroon corrected his question. “Do =you= feel embarrassed by seeing me naked?”

Bugger! Marcus wondered how the hell to get out of this one. “I was raised in an old-fashioned way and there weren’t that many times that people ran around naked on the orbital platforms back home.”

Neroon nodded once. “The religious caste is like that. Personally I think we are meant to enjoy the pleasures our body offers.” Adjusting his uniform he made sure his Denn’bok was in its place and then proceeded to slip into the cloak and boots. “I want you to join me for a swim tomorrow morning,” he said and waited for Marcus’ reply. Marcus' face remained flustered and Neroon doubted he would accept the invitation.

“Perhaps,” Marcus said noncommittally, fighting the ominous feeling that he had once more become the focus of Neroon’s attention. “We should start the negotiations,” he reminded the warrior who had moved to a tree to sit in its shade.

Neroon beckoned him closer and waited for the human to walk up to him. “Sit down,” he ordered, while resting his back against the trunk of the tree. His left hand pulled out some grass and he briefly chided himself for the suggestion he was going to make. But the time for games had gone and learning Marcus’ painful history urged him to act quickly. “I've already reached a decision.”

“You have?” Marcus whispered dumbfounded. What if he says no? If his mind is set there’s nothing I can do to change it! My last assignment will end in failure… again.

“There is a condition,” Neroon stated and locked eyes with him. The guilty expression on Marcus’ face had darkened and Neroon realized the human was afraid to fail… again.

“What condition?”

“You will stay here and participate in the Nafak’Cha.”

“You can’t be serious!” Marcus got to his feet, walked away from Neroon and then stole back. “You've been speaking to Sech Turval!”

“I have.” Neroon no longer denied Marcus' suspicions.

“This isn’t fair! I can’t accept that condition and you know it!” Frustrated and cornered Marcus sank back onto the ground.

Big green eyes filled with misery returned his stare and Neroon regretted his harshness. “I will help you prepare for the ceremony,” he offered honestly.

“I better leave now to tell Delenn that the talks have failed.” Marcus trembled, sensing Neroon’s eyes on him. “I’ve got to leave the rangers now.” Neroon had devastated the little hope he had to help Delenn. “I should tell Sech Turval first,” he mumbled and tried getting back to his feet, but all strength had disappeared from his legs. Neroon had dealt him a lethal blow by uttering his condition.

“What are you afraid of? The Nafak’Cha grants you the opportunity to grow spiritually and yet you act like…” Failing to find the proper words Neroon slid a little closer. “I do not understand you.”

“You’re in league with Sech Turval! The both of you planned this behind my back!” Feeling betrayed Marcus tried once more to get to his feet, but his legs trembled so badly that he lost his balance and had to remain seated.

“Why did you do it, Marcus?” Neroon said and gathered his courage. He hated confronting the human with his fear and self-hate, but someone had to. For Marcus’ sake someone should have done this a =long= time ago. “Why did you do it, Marcus? You are trained well, but know you could not win. For her, you replied, we live and die for the One. Now I want to know the truth. Why did you challenge me to Denn’Sha?”

“I’m not listening to you,” Marcus yelped and covered his ears with his hands.

“Marcus.” Neroon roughly grabbed both wrists and forced them down. “You will answer me.”

Shaking his head wildly Marcus attempted to break free of Neroon, but quickly realized that he lacked the necessary power. “Let me go!”

“No,” Neroon said in a determined tone. “You will tell me!”

“Because I don’t care!” Marcus cried out and tears welled up in his eyes.

“Care about what? Name it!” Neroon loosened the hold he had on Marcus. The human reminded him of a wild animal who had been run down and had lost his freedom. “Tell me,” he added in a much gentler tone. “I am not here to judge you, Marcus, only to listen.”

Finally Marcus hesitantly looked him in the eyes. Neroon wouldn’t let go of him before he knew the truth and for an eternal moment Marcus felt immensely thankful for that. “I don’t care whether I live or die,” he said in a sudden firm voice. “I forfeited my life years ago.”

“No, you did not.” Neroon released one of his wrists. The ranger remained still and so he also let go of the other hand.

“I’m responsible for so many deaths, Neroon. You can’t comprehend what my stupidity brought forth. If I had listened to my brother’s warning instead…

“Then what?” Neroon interrupted him “You can not live a life based on ‘what if’, Marcus." His voice was calm and clear and Neroon hoped he was getting through to the human. “What if I had killed you and had also slain Delenn? What if you had killed me? A warrior should not ask himself these questions. The past is over and done with.” Placing a gentle hand over the human’s trembling fingers he added, “No one can influence the Universe’s decisions. It decided that your time hadn’t come yet, your brother’s had. That was never your decision to make.”

Breathless, Marcus had devoured each word Neroon had spoken. When Neroon explained his point of view it had sounded so logical… If only he could think like that!

Tightening his grip on Marcus’ cold hand Neroon recognized the emotion in the human’s eyes. He wanted to hope, to believe, but simply couldn’t take that last step. Maybe… “Marcus, the sun annoys me. Make it disappear.”

“Uh?” Marcus stuttered wondering why Neroon had said that. “What?”

“Oh, you can not do that? You should feel guilty now, because you couldn’t help me. Something easier then? The lake is much too cold to swim in. Raise its temperature for me.”

“I can’t do that,” Marcus stuttered helplessly, wondering if Neroon was trying to make a point.

“Imagine this; at the moment the Shadows are attacking Zagros 5 and you are too far away to help them.” Neroon carried on relentlessly. He had to show Marcus how little he could do if the Universe was set on something. “All Anla’Shok stationed there just died… You tried sending them a warning of an impending attack but that message got lost. Do you consider yourself responsible for their deaths?”

Unsure how to answer Marcus realized what Neroon was trying to do. “I tried to help them? But the message got lost?”

“In Hyper space. It never reached the planet." Pleased, the warrior noticed the beginnings of understanding in those green eyes. “There is very little you can do to influence fate, Marcus. Listening to your brother’s warning would have changed nothing. Maybe the Shadows would have struck sooner, seeing the evacuation taking place. Maybe they would have devastated another colony with even more inhabitants. But that didn’t happen. They choose Arisia. The things happen as they are supposed to happen.”

“If only I could believe that,” Marcus stuttered hesitantly.

“You have to accept your past first, your loss.” Neroon suddenly realized that he was absentmindedly caressing the human’s fingers, but Marcus was too lost in thought to even register it.   

“I don’t want to be expelled from the rangers,” Marcus thought aloud. Neroon’s insight had opened a long closed door in his mind and finally he was able to take a first wavering step out of this darkened room filled with guilt.

The warrior realized how confused Marcus was and offered him his silent support. Self-hate, which had had years to gain a firm hold on the human’s mind, couldn’t be undone in minutes. But maybe he will accept the chance the Nafak’Cha offers him now. “Then let go of this unfounded feeling of guilt, Marcus.” Neroon loved the soft feeling of Marcus’ skin and curled his fingers around those of the ranger. Still Marcus didn’t seem to notice the caress. “You are a warrior at heart, Marcus. A shining example to the other Anla’Shok, but you have to let go of this guilt. You belong with them.”

“Sech Turval doesn’t think so,” Marcus muttered, fighting tears which were building in his eyes.

“Sech Turval thinks you are one of the best students he ever taught.”

The compliment took him off guard and Marcus swallowed hard. “And he called you a private man,” he said jokingly. You are quite the opposite, he mused and suddenly became aware of Neroon’s fingers holding his. Confused, he looked the Minbari in the eyes. Can it be that he… asked those questions to find out if I was… involved with someone?  Is he interested in =me=? Although the thought seemed absolutely ridiculous to him it also made the most sense at the moment. Quickly pulling his hand away Marcus shifted a bit further away from the Minbari.

Neroon immediately let go, but otherwise didn’t react. The disbelief in Marcus’ eyes told him that the ranger was finally realizing the truth.

“Neroon?” he whispered baffled, suddenly noticing the want in the man’s dark eyes.

Neroon quickly locked his desire away. “I want your word that you will undergo the Nafak’Cha.”

Tossed back into his earlier confusion Marcus didn’t know what to say. For a tiny moment Neroon had convinced him that the disaster on Arisia hadn’t been his fault, but doubt returned quickly.

“Your word in return for my support!” Neroon said in a firm tone. He had too persevere, show the human that someone would back him up and stand at his side if necessary.

“For Delenn?” At least that way he achieved the goal of his mission.

“She already has it,” Displeased, he shook his head. Marcus was taking too long to reach a decision. “I offer =you= my support… Do you accept it?”

“I’m not sure,” Marcus mumbled.

“I want your decision now.”

Staring at the lake Marcus realized he had reached a cross road in his life. He had two options. One, he continued to drown himself in self-loathing and probably ended up dead within the year or accept Neroon’s offer. He wasn’t sure which option scared him most. “I’ll do it. I will take part in the rebirth ceremony, though I can’t guarantee I can see it through.”

“You will,” Neroon remarked extremely pleased. “I will see to that.” Determined not to let Marcus slip away again into that numbing darkness of his guilt, Neroon leaned in closer and while staring into Marcus’ eyes claimed the other man's lips.

Neroon's demanding lips brushed his and Marcus tried getting away from the Minbari whose eyes shimmered with desire, but he was incapable of movement. His brain refused to believe that Neroon was actually kissing him. His thoughts ran in circles as Neroon proceeded to push him onto his back with just the smallest amount of force. What? This… can’t… be… happening! Neroon deepened the kiss, trying to make him part his teeth so his tongue could enter. Dark eyes stared into his and all he could do was gaze back at the Minbari who seemed intent on devouring him. Completely stunned he placed his hands against Neroon’s chest in an effort to push him away. Now that the Minbari was this close he sensed Neroon's body heat burning through the fabric of the other man's uniform and suddenly realized he had been right after all. Neroon had asked those questions because he was interested in =him=!

Neroon growled, feeling the human’s resistance and released him at once. In mere seconds he was back on his feet, staring at Marcus’ stunned and big eyes. Mentally, he cursed himself for making a mistake by acting like this, but the moment had taken him and Marcus had been so close… so lost. But now a shocked expression filled Marcus’ wide and startled eyes and he desperately searched for a way to make up for his rash action.

“What… was… that about?” Marcus’ voice shook and he quickly rose to his feet, putting even more distance between them. Unsure how to proceed he kept a close eye on the Minbari just in case Neroon would try getting close to him again. The kiss confused him immensely and he wondered what had possessed Neroon to act like that.

“The next time you want a revelation,” Neroon started in a similar trembling tone, “could you possibly find a way that isn’t so uncomfortable.”

“I told you that in med lab after you beat me up!” Marcus exclaimed and his hand slid towards his pike. “You better start making sense quickly or…”

“This time =I= need to reveal something to you, Marcus.” Neroon composed himself and tried to forget the sweetness he had tasted while kissing the human. One thing he now knew for sure was that he wanted Marcus as his lover and wasn’t going to give in easily.

“Yes?” Marcus said, urging him on. It baffled him that Neroon still remembered the words he had spoken when he had been high on meds. Neroon stood with legs wide apart, arms crossed in front of his chest and a determined expression burned the dark eyes. He had never seen Neroon so resolved, not even during their fight in Down Below. The pride and confidence the warrior radiated made him wonder why Neroon was interested in a human, in him! Surely Neroon could do much better so why settle for him?

“I’m attracted to you, Marcus. It started after our fight. When I talked to you in med lab you impressed me in more ways than one.” Neroon kept his distance, having noticed that the human’s hand rested on his Denn’bok. He had acted foolishly, kissing him like that and should have recited the proper request first, but it wasn’t too late yet. “I want you as my lover.”

Utterly surprised, Marcus gasped for breath and questioningly raised an eyebrow. He had noticed the way Neroon always formulated his sentences, I want… You will. This was a man who knew what he wanted and how to get it. Valen help me if his mind is set on me!

“You do not have to answer my request now. It is custom to award you all the time you need to formulate a reply and I will refrain from touching you in the meantime. I wanted to tell you this is in a different manner, but… you have no idea how you smell, talk or look to me, have you?” Neroon took one step closer and closed his eyes.

Marcus didn’t shy back. Neroon had promised not to touch him before he had been given an answer and he expected the warrior to keep his word.

“Your scent is intoxicating, your voice trembles delicately when you speak of things which trouble you and your eyes carry such a sad expression that I will do anything to make it disappear.”

In spite of his peculiar situation Marcus grinned. “You’re a romantic, Neroon.”

Inclining his head Neroon replied, “Does that please you?”

Marcus’ mood brightened for some reason. “Are you seeking my approval?”

“Why not?” Neroon was relieved to see the now relaxed stance the ranger had adopted. For one moment he had been scared he had committed an incorrigible mistake. “Will you consider me as you lover?”

“I…" Marcus lowered his eyes and tried organizing his entangled thoughts, “I honestly don’t know what to say. You took me by surprise. I never saw this coming!” It was the way Neroon talked about him that stunned him most. Neroon is in love with me… Locking eyes with the warrior Marcus said in a soft tone, “Love is blind, Neroon, and I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into. I’m no suitable lover for you, Neroon.”

“You cannot make that decision for me, Marcus. My mind is made up and unless you tell me no, I will not give up hope.” Neroon spoke with conviction, knowing he had to make Marcus understand how deep this attraction ran.

“So how much time do I get?” The ranger pulled his cloak closer to his body. The sun had disappeared behind grey and ominous clouds and a cold wind tousled his hair.

If only I could run my hands through that hair. Neroon suppressed his arousal. Never before had Marcus looked more desirable to him. Marcus had proven to be his equal in every possible way and he suspected his superiority in philosophical matters. But he's also inexperienced. What a tempting combination!  “I am a good lover, Marcus, but if you prefer to remain pure tell me and this stops now." But if I read you correctly you will give me a chance and consider my proposal. You need someone in your life who loves you… and I already do.

“I will consider it,” Marcus said eventually. Muddled thoughts kept spinning in his head. “I will try to give you an answer before the Nafak’Cha takes place.”

“That is acceptable,” Neroon replied and respect slipped into his voice. “I want to return to the training facility now. We missed dinner yesterday and I am hungry… and no more peanut butter!”

“I prefer it to Flarn!” Marcus smiled, insecure of his own feelings. “I… would like some time to myself this afternoon…” he stated hesitantly, “you already decided to support Delenn, so there is no more need for the negotiations to be held.” The ranger hoped Neroon understood his need to think this over.

“But you will join me for dinner and not avoid my company?”

“I will join you and Sech Turval for dinner,” Marcus quipped and noticed Neroon’s annoyance when he mentioned the teacher’s presence at dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Itchy, Marcus left his quarters to head for the library. As a student he had spent many pleasant hours here and now he hoped to find the information he needed so badly. Off all the improbable things that could happen to him it had to be a Minbari warrior falling in love with him. And no ordinary Minbari, but the one he had challenged to a fight to the death!

He had tried searching his feelings, but had given up for now. It was true that he liked Neroon’s company and the support the warrior had shown him had been true and unselfish. Neroon would help him prepare for the rebirth ceremony regardless of his answer. The warrior’s honor wouldn’t permit him to break that promise.

When he arrived at the library he found it almost empty. Only one Minbari trainee was going through some ancient scrolls and Marcus headed for the back of the library where the crystals about Minbari culture and society were kept. This was where he had learned about Denn’Sha years ago. Carefully selecting two crystals he took them and a portal player with him. They were audio only and he settled down in his once favorite windowsill. From here he had a splendid view over the compound and he could monitor the entrance. After inserting the first crystal he put on the headpiece and listened closely to the Minbari who tried explaining alien teachings in Standard.

“The warrior caste loosely follows the traditions of the religious caste.”

I already know that, Marcus thought irritated and searched the crystal for the information he required. Finally, he found the right spot.

“Minbari of the warrior caste select a mate for life. They are bound to this beloved till the day one of them dies. After a mourning period of 3 cycles he or she is allowed to court again.”

But Neroon said he had both male and female lovers… Does that mean he was married twice or doesn’t he follow the rules?

“All three castes strife to have a monogamous relationship and having children is a blessing usually reserved for the worker cast. The religious caste often prefers to remain chaste and the warrior caste, which mostly consists of males, usually chooses a significant other of the same gender. Therefore we look towards the worker caste to ensure that all Minbari souls are reborn.”

Marcus stopped the recording and pulled the headpiece into his lap. It makes sense Neroon would choose me. But he still didn’t know what to make of the warrior’s admission. “A commitment for life,” he whispered barely audible. That was what he had always wanted, but the person offering it to him was a Minbari! “When did my life get this complicated?” he muttered depressed. Neroon had lured him into promising to take part in the Nafak’Cha and he hadn’t even thought about the secret he had to tell or the object of great value he had to give away. I possess nothing except my uniform and my pike and I’m not giving that away! The pike was the only precious item he owned… Jeffrey Sinclair gave it to me… I can’t be without it!

I have to be honest now. Am I also attracted to Neroon? Can I learn to love him like he obviously loves me? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? I’m not even in love with him! But I don’t want to be alone any more and he seems to genuinely care for me. I could do much worse…

“Marcus? I am surprised to find you here!”

The amused voice made him look up and as he tried to get to his feet to pay Master Durhann proper respect, the portable player dropped onto the floor.

The Minbari was quick to pick it up and hand it back to Marcus. “That must be a very interesting crystal judging by the far away look in your eyes,” Durhann said teasingly.

“Master Durhann, I’m sorry but I didn’t hear… wasn’t paying attention,” Marcus started embarrassed and bowed quickly.

“Do not worry about it, young Marcus.” Durhann grinned, pleased to see his former student. “I hope you will consider sparring with some of the trainees to teach them the fine art of Denn’bok.”

“I would be honored to do so,” Marcus replied and returned the smile weakly. “I didn’t expect to find you here either, Master Durhann.”

“I was passing by when I saw you sitting here and only considered it proper to welcome you.” Durhann pointed at the portable player. “Is this how you learned about Denn’Sha? What are you listening to now?”

 

Marcus knew from first hand experience that Master Durhann would spot a lie right away, so he told the truth reluctantly. “I was curious. I have to negotiate with Alit Neroon, but hardly know a thing about the warrior caste.”

“What is it you want to know?” Durhann asked in a friendly tone.

“Actually I already learned a lot from the crystals, but…” Marcus’ voice dropped; he couldn’t ask Master Durhann for personal information about Neroon.

“You want to know more about Neroon?” He had talked to Turval after the human had arrived and had been angry to hear about the ultimatum. Durhann had even chided his colleague for pressuring Marcus like this.

“Yes,” Marcus nodded weakly and peeked at Master Durhann’s eyes. The Minbari was a hard, but honest man.

Durhann considered the human in front of him and then smiled. “Let us sit down then,” he said and used the windowsill as a seat as well.

Quickly, Marcus sat down next to him. “What do you know about him?”

“Only the things Turval told me,” Durhann admitted. “They've always been friends for some reason. Although I trained Neroon when he was a youngster I never got close to him. He is a very private man.”

No, he isn’t, Marcus mused.

“After he finished training he got assigned to his first star ship and he proved to be a splendid warrior. He chose a young male as his mate and they requested to be stationed on the same war cruiser. The request was denied and Tarek’s cruiser was sent on a scouting mission. During that mission everything went wrong and eventually they ran into several enemy vessels. Tarek died one cycle after they had spoken their vows.”

“I never knew that,” Marcus stammered and continued to listen to the older Minbari. Breathless, he devoured Master Durhann’s words.

“Several cycles later, while serving the great Branmer, he met a female warrior called Mathar. But there was one thing Neroon didn’t know.”

“What?” Marcus asked, his brow knitted in concentration.

If Durhann noticed it he didn’t show it. “Mathar had doubts concerning her calling as a warrior. Both her parents were of the religious caste and had protested their daughter’s choice. In the end they proved right and Mathar admitted to Neroon that she now felt a deep religious calling. According to tradition, Neroon had to set her free of her vows and she returned to Minbar to join the holy order of Valeria.”

“He lost them both,” Marcus whispered and noticed Master Durhann’s nod.

“His life has been filled with misfortune. He might have risen to a high position in his caste, but personally I think he would give it all up for love.”

“Why do you think that?” Marcus asked, feeling more akin to Neroon than ever before. He had never thought it possible that Neroon had suffered such loss in his life.

“We are not that different, young Marcus. All we want from life is to love and to be loved in return… or am I wrong?” Durhann said in a defying tone.

“I guess you’re right,” Marcus had to admit. “But he seems so…”

“Arrogant?” Durhann laughed. “Do we all not wear different disguises to mask our unhappiness?”

“What happened while I was away?” Marcus quipped. “Did you all take classes in philosophy?”

Durhann shook his head. “We always told you these things, but you were not yet ready to listen…”

“Maybe,” Marcus agreed and felt more at ease now he had learned about the warrior’s history. “Do you trust Neroon?”

“To act for the good of his people? Yes,” Durhann replied and rose from the windowsill. “I will now leave you to your studies.”

“Thank you for…”

Durhann raised his hand to stop him. “You are welcome to ask more questions any time, Marcus. I am pleased with the difference in your demeanor. It shows in your eyes,” he added cryptically and then walked away from his stunned student.

“What change?” Marcus wanted to know, but no one answered him. “I should definitely find myself a mirror! Neroon keeps referring to my eyes as well!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I talked to him,” Neroon told Sech Turval. They had retreated into the teacher’s office to exchange information. He had only agreed to this conversation because of Sech Turval’s true concern.

“I hope Marcus trusts you. He needs someone to guide him. No one can deal with the death of loved ones on his own and he has been left alone for far too long. You know what I am talking about.”

Neroon remembered Tarek’s death vividly. Sech Turval had assisted him in carrying out all required ceremonies. In the process Neroon had found himself opening up to his teacher and after so many cycles still felt grateful for Sech Turval’s support. “Yes, I know what he is going through, but at the same time… I never blamed myself for Tarek’s death. I never yearned to feel such guilt.”

“Humans are a strange people,” Sech Turval mused. “The contradictions inside their mind are incredible. Even after working with them for so many cycles I do not understand them and I never will. Their capacity for self-torment is enormous and drives them to self-destruction. I have seen it many times.”

“I will stop Marcus in time. He will survive and move on,” Neroon promised.

“What about the negotiations? You are spending much time on talking to him on a personal level…”

“I already decided to support Delenn,” Neroon revealed to his former teacher.

“Then you will be leaving shortly?”

“No, I will stay… for Marcus’ sake. He promised to undergo the Nafak’Cha and I assured him of my support. I cannot desert him now.” Neroon noticed the gleam in Sech Turval’s eyes hearing this particular news.

“He will take part in the Nafak’Cha? That is good news!”

“Marcus has a long way ahead of him. The guilt still nags at him and I need to convince him that it is safe to let go of it.” Neroon locked eyes with the older Minbari, “The guilt has to be replaced by a different feeling, something he can lean on instead. Something of a healthier nature.”

“I agree. I will leave that to you, Neroon.” Sech Turval placed the tea mug at his lips, realizing a new expression filled the warrior’s eyes which spoke of passion and desire.

A firm knock on the door aroused Sech Turval’s attention and after apologetically smiling at his guest he said, “Yes.”

Durhann entered with a concerned expression on his face. “Turval, Neroon,” he greeted them slowly, wondering if he should ask the warrior to leave so he could deliver this upsetting news.

“Durhann, is something wrong?” Turval immediately noticed the furrowed brow and sad eyes.

Durhann decided that it couldn’t wait and maybe Neroon could assist them in solving the mystery. “I bring sad news, Turval. A moment ago we discovered that one of our trainees has been attacked and is now unconscious. The healer is not sure the young man will survive the multiple stab wounds.”

“What?” Turval whispered in distress. “Whom are you talking about?”

“It is your protégé William.”

“No,” Sech Turval groaned shocked. “Have you already found the one who did this to William?”

“No,” Durhann replied. “We have started a search for evidence, but we do not know who did this… yet.”

“Please excuse me,” Neroon interrupted; this might be the change he had been waiting for. “Master Durhann, I want to inform Marcus of this… incident. Maybe we can assist you in finding the perpetrator?”

“Neroon,” Sech Turval stopped him. “Do you think this is the right time to tell him, considering…”

“Yes,” Neroon replied resolved. “Trust me on this one, my friend.”

“Go then,” Sech Turval said, wondering about Neroon’s plans. “But act carefully.”

“Always.” Neroon bowed and left the room. In his mind a plan started to unfold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I love water showers!” Marcus quipped delighted and relished the sensation of water running over his naked body. It was the one disadvantage to being stationed on Babylon 5. He absolutely hated vibe showers. After establishing a comfortable temperature he reached for the soap he had taken with him and he had worked up a good lather when he suddenly remembered Neroon emerging from the lake. “Joining him for a swim, no way!” Marcus whispered. “Not knowing the things I know now!”

Somehow he felt jealous of the man’s gorgeous body. He had never been muscular, but skinny and sinewy. “He didn’t feel ashamed at all!” Marcus wondered how he would have reacted had their roles been reversed. “I’d probably never have left the water!” he realized.

Raising his head he allowed the water to run down his face. “I can’t believe I achieved my goal and that Neroon will support Delenn. Bugger! I still have to inform her!” Resolved to do that after he had finished showering he turned off the water and reached for the towels. Remnants of soap forced him to keep his eyes closed, but suddenly he found the soft towels and dried his face first.

His ranger uniform was waiting for him where he had left it, on the platform, but a nasty smell clung to it and he should have it cleaned. “Can’t wear it. The stench might offence their sensitive sense of smell,” he whispered jokingly and wondered if the closet contained any clothes at all.

“Robes… “ he said dismayed, but took out one of the garments. The robes were brown and he sighed realizing there were three layers of clothes to be worn on top of each other. “It has to do for now,” he stated and slipped into it.

The sun had already set, but maybe there would be enough time to get his uniform cleaned before tomorrow.  I will have to attend dinner in an hour and maybe I can ask Sech Turval for a clean uniform.

He briefly struggled with the robes and wondered how members of the religious cast could wear them all the time. Looking at himself in the mirror he shook his head, irritated with his strange appearance. “What will Neroon say seeing me like this?” he wondered and grew silent. After he walked over to the platform he picked up his pike and slid it into one of the many hidden pockets. Wearing robes made him feel uncomfortable. It had been years since the last time he had worn one. They had forced him to participate in one of their ceremonies. Marcus had no fond memories of that time. Fasting and meditating were two things he disliked distinctly.

“I should leave now or I’ll be late,” Marcus realized and was about to brush his hair so he wouldn’t look a mess when a single knock on his door caused a definitely ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t expecting anyone so… "Yes, enter.” After quickly untangling his hair he returned to the living area.

Neroon opened the door and inquired, “May I step inside or am I interrupting you?” Wet strands of hair clung to the human’s face and Neroon sighed, knowing he had to wait 5 more days to learn Marcus’ answer to his request.

“Yes, you can come inside,” Marcus whispered softly. Neroon’s surprise visit made him feel nervous for some reason.

“I want to talk to you,” Neroon started and grinned, noticing the human was wearing robes. “They do not suit you,” he remarked, inclining his head and staring at the offending garment.

“I know,” Marcus sighed. “But the uniform has to be cleaned.” An almost visible tension hung between them and for the first time Marcus realized the utter control Neroon always displayed in his company. This has to be hard on him. Neroon isn’t used to being denied…

His heartbeat sped up and Neroon fought and then dismissed the desire he felt for the human. A warrior is always in control of his emotions and actions, he reminded himself. “I need your help.”

“My help?” Marcus repeated and shuffled his feet. The way the Minbari looked at him caused goose bumps to appear all over his body, but it didn’t offend him. No one had ever studied him with such an undertone of sexual want and… he didn’t feel embarrassed by Neroon’s attention any more. The warrior was complimenting him with his eyes and want.

“Yes, one of the human trainees has been attacked and has been taken to the infirmary. The healer is not certain he will survive the injuries.” Neroon continued to study him, expecting an emotional outburst somewhere along the line.

Marcus’ eyes grew big. “He was attacked here? On the compound?”

“Yes, William must have stepped outside for a sort while and…" Neroon paused, seeing the sudden hurt in the human’s eyes.

“William? The young trainee who woke me?”
           

“Yes,” Neroon confirmed and wondered about Marcus’ reaction to the name, not the human who carried it. “Tell me,” he demanded. “You can trust me.”

“My brother’s name… was William… Willie.” Marcus admitted and felt stunned for actually telling Neroon.

“I see,” Neroon nodded once. “It is our task to find the attacker. I want to examine the place where it happened and you will accompany me.”

“I? But… " Marcus desperately sought for a way to get out of this one.

“Yes. Sech Turval has already given me his permission to look into this matter. All we can do for the young human is to find the one who did this to him… Remember what I told you at the lake?” Neroon had wanted to ask that question for some time now.

“Yes, I remember your lecture about my non existent influence on the Universe,” Marcus replied in a bitter tone.

“But we can solve the mystery of the attack.” Neroon took several steps closer to the human. “What complicates this matter is that I suspect the perpetrator to be one of the trainees or teachers.”

“Why?” Marcus breathed in disbelief. That accusation carried great weight.

“Consider the options.” Neroon gestured Marcus to follow him into the corridor.

Marcus forced himself to follow the warrior and to fall in step beside him.

“The facility is closed to strangers and even we were extensively screened before being allowed entrance. The attacker has to live here on the compound.” Neroon studied the elegance with which Marcus moved and wondered how it would feel to run his fingertips over the human’s soft skin and shuddered before banishing the image from his head.

“I hate admitting it, but you’re right.” Worried, Marcus wondered what this might imply. Hesitantly, he added, “The victim was human.”
           

Neroon couldn’t deny his thoughts had carried him into the same direction. “You suspect a Minbari might have done this?”

“Yes.” Wavering, Marcus peeked at Neroon’s eyes that lacked all emotion at the moment.

“You might be correct,” Neroon admitted. “But the reason why still eludes me.”

“Hate? Jealousy? A unstable personality?” Marcus suggested and noticed several teachers roaming the corridors.

“Perhaps.” Neroon took in his surroundings. “This way,” he remarked as he traced down the iron-like smell of human blood.

Marcus saw the blood covered spot first and shivered. “Can we send someone to find out how William is doing?” Speaking that name still troubled him.

“Of course.” Neroon sat on his heels next to the pool of blood. “Did you find anything?” he said, addressing one of the Minbari who had been examining the spot.

“A weapon.” The Minbari used Standard, not wanting to exclude any humans standing close.

“Show it to us,” Neroon demanded and his eyes exchanged a concerned look with Marcus as he whispered, “Someone wanted to kill him. The fact that William survived was unaccounted for.”

“Or do as much damage as he possibly could,” Marcus murmured depressed.

Suddenly something white-hot flashed through Neroon’s eyes. “I wonder if the attacker will stop or select a new victim.”

Shivering slightly Marcus agreed with the warrior. “Once you taste blood…”

“The weapon, Alit Neroon,” the Minbari said and handed him the scimitar like sword.

“Has it been checked for DNA material?” Marcus asked.
             

“The attacker left behind no traces,” the Minbari informed them, then distanced himself.

“I’ve never seen something like this before,” Marcus said baffled.

“But I have,” Neroon sighed distressed. The sudden appearance of the weapon troubled him. Why would the attacker leave it behind or had someone disturbed him before he’d had a chance to finish the human off? Neroon returned it to the Minbari and placed a gentle hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Walk with me,” he instructed and led the human to the gardens, never noticing the tremors coursing through Marcus at the touch.

Marcus was extremely aware of the hand resting on his shoulder. Though there was nothing sensual in the gesture he wondered why it had such an effect on him.

“Have you ever heard of Kalen'tha?”

“No. Marcus felt strangely disappointed as the warrior removed his hand.

“It is a Minbari martial art form. Only a select group of already trained warriors are permitted to study it.”

Marcus found himself studying the warrior’s hands, impressed by the bundled strength in them. Telling himself to pay more attention he asked, “And you are one of them?”

“Yes,” Neroon said in a startled tone. “The weapon we found belongs to a warrior who mastered Kalen’tha.”

“How could this Minbari sneak in here?” Marcus wanted to know and lifted his eyes to look at Neroon’s troubled expression.

“Disguised as a trainee.” Neroon growled the words in disgust. “They belong to the clan of the Wind Swords, the most militant of the warrior cast. I have to warn Sech Turval and Master Durhann.”

“Do they hate humans that much?” Marcus had locked eyes with the Minbari and saw the concern displayed there.

“Yes, they reject all treaties our people set up. They dismiss the claim that Minbari souls are being reborn into human bodies, something I myself learned only recently.”

“Then we have to find this Minbari,” Marcus concluded and sat down beside the warrior on one of the stone benches.

“Who can be a female or male,” Neroon warned him. “I will advice Sech Turval to keep a close eye on the humans living on the compound. You might be in danger too.”

“Who? Me?” Marcus quipped, strangely touched by Neroon’s openness. “I hope this Wind Sword comes for me and…”

“Do not say such a thing!” Neroon suddenly chided him in an upset tone. “You might be killed.”

“Or I might stop him,” Marcus said in a soft tone. “You care a lot about me, don’t you, Neroon?”

“I lost one lover before,” Neroon confessed. “I do not want to lose another in his foolish strife to repent for his past.” A tender expression slipped into his eyes as he tried to hold Marcus’ gaze prisoner.

“I haven’t said yes yet,” the ranger reminded Neroon, but grew shy seeing the stern determination in the Minbari’s eyes.

“You will in five days,” Neroon stated and smiled contently.

Marcus shook his head in disbelief. “You’re so… confident, almost arrogant! It’s a most annoying character treat!”

“I am willing to adjust my behavior,” Neroon told him with a mischievous grin on his face. “Does that mean you do like my other qualities?”

This time Marcus laughed warmly. “Perhaps,” he said teasingly and realized it was the truth. The more time he spent in the warrior’s company, the more he started to feel connected to Neroon.

Neroon bared his teeth as he grinned. “You can be just as annoying,” he told the human and then returned to business. “I want you to visit William and see if he has regained consciousness. If so he may be able to tell us something about his attacker. I will inform Sech Turval.”

Marcus briefly wanted to object. Why did he have to be the one to check on William? “All right, then,” he gave in.

Satisfied with that answer Neroon rose to his feet, hoping the young trainee survived the ordeal. It might show Marcus that there was always hope for the Universe to be benevolent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tiptoeing into the infirmary Marcus draw the healer’s attention and wanted to ask some questions concerning William’s condition when he caught sight of the young man through a small window. William had been put on life support and his eyes were closed.

“Anla’Shok Marcus,” the old healer greeted him. “I am Banner, the one responsible for William’s recovery.”

“He will make it then?” Marcus asked hopefully.

“I think he will. The worst is behind him now.” Banner led Marcus into his patient’s room.

“Has he been conscious since they brought him in?”

“No, regrettably not.” Banner placed a probing hand on William’s brow. “He is strong and young. His chances are good he can return to his training in a few weeks.”

Thank God! Marcus finally gazed at William’s face. The young man’s expression was relaxed in sleep and the blue eyes were closed. “Do you know how old he is?”

“22 human years. Very young indeed to join the Anla’Shok.”

“Contact me the moment he wakes up?” Marcus asked in a pleading tone.

“I will,” Banner assured him. “Tell Sech Turval not to worry too much. William’s fate is in Valen’s hands. There is nothing we can do to stop fate from claiming or releasing him from this grip the Universe has on him.”

You sound like Neroon, Marcus mused saddened and left the infirmary. The last thing he wanted was to share a meal with Sech Turval… He wouldn’t mind Neroon’s company, but he wasn’t up for pretending he wasn’t troubled.

A young Minbari trainee passed him by and Marcus’ instincts reminded him of the fact that anyone could be the attacker. As he addressed the young man he studied his eyes. “I want, " and he paused, wondering if he was adopting Neroon’s sentence structures, “you to tell Sech Turval and Alit Neroon that I won’t join them for dinner. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Anla’Shok,” the Minbari replied quickly. “It will be done.”

“Thank you.” Marcus had seen the young man before. He had been studying those ancient scrolls when he had been listening to the data crystals. “What’s your name?”

“I am Talin,” he said in a clear tone. “May I be dismissed now to deliver your message?”

Marcus nodded and watched him disappear. “Neroon must be wrong. It can’t be one of the trainees!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Marcus said what?” Sech Turval inquired as Talin nervously shifted backwards.

“That he could not join you and Alit Neroon for dinner,” Talin replied, wondering why the Alit was staring at him in such an angry way.

“I will handle this.” Neroon dismissed Talin who hurried to leave the teacher’s office.

“Why would he do such a thing?” Sech Turval wondered aloud.

But Neroon knew what might have happened. “Seeing William might have reminded him of losing his brother.”

“Yes, they do share the same name,” Sech Turval realized. “But I am worried, Neroon. Not that much about Marcus, he has started to heal, but about this Wind Sword in our midst.”

“He wants you to worry, wants to divide us. His goal is to spread fear and distrust among the trainees and teachers and show us that we have no business allowing humans to become Anla’Shok.”

“You sound like you know what you’re talking about, Neroon,” Sech Turval remarked concerned.

“I know what a Minbari trained in Kalen’tha can do,” Neroon admitted. “I am troubled by our attacker’s choice. Why William? Why this human? There are so many humans to choose from. And why now?”

Sech Turval looked up. “Does the warrior caste suspect you of betrayal? Can it be that they want to sabotage your supporting Delenn?”

“I cannot believe they have found out about my role this quickly.” Neroon dismissed the idea, but continued, “Let us assume you are right, then they might have picked William because he assisted me and… Marcus.” Sudden apprehension showed on the warrior’s face. “Turval, can it be that…”

“They will go after him next?”

“I am worried for Marcus' safety.” Neroon started to pace the office.

“I have noted the expression in your eyes when you speak of him. You looked at Tarek like that.” He had seldom seen two Minbari more suited for each other than Neroon and Tarek, and he knew that Neroon still mourned his former lover’s death.

“You are very alert.” Neroon came to a stop in front of the desk and stared into Sech Turval’s eyes. “I asked him to consider me as his lover.”

“Are you sure?” the teacher said hesitantly. “It would be the first time a Minbari warrior chose to be with a human. The Warrior Caste will condemn your choice.”

“I do not care about their opinion.” Neroon sighed deeply and recalled Marcus’ eyes. “He told me love is blind… Marcus is right, Turval. He is human in body, but that matters little to me.” Pausing briefly he gathered his thoughts. “Because his soul is Minbari.”

“I wondered about your interest in him,” Sech Turval admitted, “Has he already given you an answer?”

“He will accept or reject me at the Nafak’Cha.”

“You want to go to him now…?”

“Yes, if I may be excused.” Neroon bowed respectfully and read permission in his former teacher’s eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night had fallen and Marcus stared out of the window. His rooms faced the south and in the distance he saw the city lights of Tuzanor. Below his window was a garden and he now thanked Sech Turval for putting him in this silent part of the building. No shouts of the trainees reached his ears, only the beams of the moon filled his quarters.

As he had returned to his rooms he had been surprised to find his uniform gone. A new clean one had replaced it. It hadn’t taken him long to dispose of the robes and slip into the trousers and turtleneck shirt. The trusted feel of the fabric calmed him down and he sat on the windowsill, studying the dark night. Somewhere a potential murderer is hiding. He hoped they'd find the Minbari quickly.

Seeing William in the infirmary had unleashed memories he ran away from for a long time. They always caught up to him though… William had died in his arms, had extracted his promise during his last breath and disgusted with himself, he remembered his escape from Arisia. The guilt returned in full. Thanks to Neroon it had grown less in intensity, but it was still there to haunt him. “No matter what Neroon says I failed you, Willie.” He surrendered to the dark feeling and allowed tears to form in his eyes. “I failed you and Hasina and…” His voice gave out on him as he remembered his brother’s dead eyes. “How can I take part in the rebirth ceremony? I can’t do this on my own!” A desperate tone slid into his voice and he banged a fist into the wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon rushed down the corridors. The human had told him he wanted some time to himself, but Neroon feared that this seclusion was of an unhealthy nature. He had arranged the confrontation between Marcus and William on purpose and had expected something like this to happen… had hoped for it.

“Marcus? I want to talk to you,” he said resolved and waited for the human to open the door. Not getting a response he pushed against the door that appeared to be open. “Marcus?” he repeated, disliking the dark inside the room.

“I can’t remember telling you to enter,” Marcus quipped in a strangled tone and quickly wiped away his tears. He continued to stare into the night.

“You did not.” Neroon heard the sadness in the human’s voice. “I would not have listened had you denied me entry.”

“You arrogant… " Marcus smiled in spite of his hurt.

“So you do like that quality too? Shame on you for telling me a lie!” Neroon chided him and proceeded to light some candles. It added warmth to the atmosphere of the room and Neroon considered his next move. “Has there been any change in William’s condition?”

“No, but the healer thinks William will survive.” Marcus swallowed hard, as tears once more ran down his cheeks. Thankfully the warrior couldn’t see his face.

“That is good news.” The tiny movements of Marcus’ body told him the human was crying… He also smelled the salty aroma in the air. “He reminds you of your brother, does he not?”

“Yes,” Marcus whispered. “I can’t go through with the Nafak’Cha, Neroon.”

“Why not?” Neroon walked up to the human and remained standing behind him, respecting Marcus’ need for privacy to a certain level.

“I can’t accept what you told me.” Marcus wrung his hands, trembling with cold and loneliness.

“You have to,” Neroon said in a gentle tone. He longed to take Marcus in his arms, wrap them tightly around his frame… inhale his scent.

“If I let go of the pain there will be nothing left inside me… Then my soul will be truly empty.” Marcus sobbed softly.

“You love to torture yourself, Marcus,” Neroon berated him, but used a kind tone to stress his concern, “Why?”

“It makes me feel alive… pain is all I've felt in a long time.” Marcus suddenly realized what he was telling the Minbari. How did he get passed my defenses so quickly? I’ve only been here two days and here I am spilling my guts to him! “Please go away, Neroon. I’m not pleasant company at the moment.”

“No, I refuse to leave you behind in misery. I have never broken my word in my entire life… until now,” he sighed and before Marcus could question his statement he raised his arms to capture Marcus in them.

Strong arms wrapped themselves around his chest and Marcus struggled briefly. “Let go of me!”

“No, you need me. I will not allow you to push me away that easily.”

With a desperate sigh Marcus accepted the embrace and his hands moved to clasp the warrior’s wrists. “The truth is… " Marcus hesitated, scared to admit this to the Minbari. “That I want you to hold me. I’ve been alone for so long… that I don’t remember how it used to feel to be held like this.”

Another step towards acceptance, Neroon thought pleased and pulled Marcus to his chest, tightening the embrace till he sensed the heartbeat underneath his fingers. Inhaling his scent Neroon stored it for memory and lifted his chin to brush the dark hair. It is much softer than I thought. “Admitting one’s needs is very important,” he told the human in his arms. “I've only cried once in my life. The pain, the loss consumed me and I had to let it out.”

“When Tarek died…” Marcus realized instinctively and listened to the Minbari’s steady breathing. Warmth surrounded him and drove away the cold claws of guilt snatching at him.

“Yes, I loved him with all my heart, but we were not meant to be together. I accepted that… after saying good-bye to him.” Delighted, Neroon noticed that Marcus leaned into the embrace, accepting the closeness. “I can help you perform a similar ritual for the ones you lost,” he offered in sincerity and had a hard time stopping his fingers from wandering over Marcus’ chest. He was eager to explore the human’s body, but had to wait until the Nafak’cha. I already broke my promise not to touch him, but… I need to show him that he is not alone.

Marcus wasn’t sure what to reply. If he decided to take up Neroon’s offer… “What would I have to do?”

“The ritual includes meditation, speaking the proper words and… letting go of the deceased one.” Neroon rubbed his fingers over Marcus’ arms and rested his head on the other man's shoulder. “Can you do that?”

“Before I arrived here I would have said no, I can’t do that, but… I understand the point you made at the lake. There was nothing I could have done to prevent the Shadows from attacking Arisia, but… I can’t explain to you how it feels to be the sole survivor. Everyone else died,” Marcus whispered and rested his cheek against Neroon’s. “Is it strange that I feel that I should have died also?”

“It is understandable, but there is no reason to feel this amount of guilt. Sadness, yes. Anger, I can understand as well, but guilt? You should be angry with the Shadows, not with yourself.” Grateful for the fact that Marcus was really listening to his words he watched the distant lights. “At night Tuzanor possesses an enchanting beauty.”

“Yes.” Marcus smiled and the tears stopped flowing. “Neroon?”

A soft growl left the warrior’s throat as he realized that it was time to let go of Marcus. The emotional storm he had conjured on purpose had passed by without doing any harm, had even set the healing process in to motion.

“I will perform that ritual if you think it will help me deal with… " Marcus' voice dropped as Neroon removed his arms and then took several steps away from him. Bereft of the warmth and emotional closeness he turned around to finally look Neroon in the eyes. Such tight control, he thought, seeing the hunger in the warrior’s eyes. Does he want me that much?

“Before or after the Nafak’Cha?”

“Before…” Marcus followed the Minbari, who had retreated to the doorway.

“I will make all necessary arrangements,” Neroon promised. Glazed green eyes followed him through the room.

“Why did you come here in the first place?” Marcus asked, realizing that Neroon was distancing himself on purpose.

“Talin told us you had canceled our dinner plans. I knew then that you needed my support.”

“You know me better than I know myself,” Marcus mumbled in disbelief.

“And I want to warn you,” Neroon said in a concerned tone.

“Of this Minbari warrior?”

“Yes, I suspect they sent him to sabotage our alliance. Maybe the warrior caste has grown suspicious of my plans.” Neroon wished there was a way to convince Marcus to stay close to him. After losing Tarek that quickly he feared fate had the same thing in store for him a second time.

“Why come after me?” Marcus dismissed Neroon’s worry. He wasn’t that important. “You better watch your own back!”

“We should watch out for each other,” Neroon corrected him. “This Minbari is trained in various ways of murder and I guess that someone disturbed him as he tried finishing off William. A second victim might not be that lucky.” Marcus’ hair was tousled and his eyes still red from the tears he had shed, looking vulnerable to him.

“What do you suggest?” Marcus smiled weakly. “Move in together till the Nafak’Cha?”

“That is an excellent idea!”

“You lured me into saying that!” Marcus accused him, but his grin broadened. “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Neroon. Considering your attraction to me I don’t think it would be fair…”

“I am in control of my emotions, Marcus,” Neroon replied and sparkles showed in his eyes. This was going much better than he’d expected. He will accept me as his lover, but he is still struggling to admit that truth to himself.

Marcus remained silent, considering the Minbari who cared so much for him to help him cope with his past. “Thank you,” he whispered eventually.

“What for?”

“For caring for a human.”

Seeing the seriousness on Marcus’ face Neroon inclined his head. “It is the least I can do for another warrior. What do you prefer? Moving your belongings to my rooms or me getting mine?”

“I don’t have that many belongings,” Marcus quipped. “I’m ready to go.”

“We are too late to join Sech Turval for dinner though…” Neroon looked at Marcus who had grabbed his duffel. “Kitchen?” he suggested.

“Sure, why not?” Marcus closed the door behind him and a tremor washed through him as he realized that Neroon had been right. Oh, God, he does know me well! I do want him as my lover!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You can put your belongings in there.” Neroon pointed Marcus to one of the drawers. Watching him unpack Neroon wondered about two items. “What are those?”

Marcus looked at his brush and comb. “Something you’ll never need, Neroon!” and demonstrated their use.

“Ah, I understand now.” Neroon wondered about their sleeping arrangement. “I will ask Sech Turval for another platform.”

“Don’t bother! I can sleep on the floor!” Marcus saw the warrior’s annoyance at his answer.

“No, you are a guest and shouldn’t sleep on the floor. I will arrange it.” Neroon walked out of his rooms to find a second platform, but he also needed to ponder this recent development. Marcus had accepted his embrace and consolation and had only mentioned sharing a room in jest, but before they had both realized it a decision had been made and now Marcus was going to stay with him for the remaining days. I will need to perfect my control.

There were a number of things he had to do. First he asked one of the Minbari workers to deliver another platform to his quarters. Pondering the ritual he had in mind for Marcus he realized he needed a secluded area and had to ask permission before he could use one of the training areas. The last thing he did was despatch one of his guards to get the ceremonial robes the ceremony required. Neroon was on his way back when he realized that he had to tell Marcus certain things before they could move on. He has to know I was grey once, why I was assigned that position… If I want this relationship to work I cannot allow any secrets to stand between us. And there is still an assassin on the loose on the compound…

After he paid a visit to Dagan in the kitchen, Neroon returned to his quarters. The Minbari cook had freely given him several fruit items and two bowls of Flarn. It had only taken a little persuasion on Neroon’s part to ensure the cook’s co-operation. They still hadn’t eaten and he expected Marcus to be hungry.

Softly he opened the door to his rooms and looked inside. A second platform had been placed next to his and he smiled seeing the human asleep on it. Apparently Marcus had been cold, as he had used his long cloak as a blanket. Neroon uttered a short command, telling the computer to raise the room’s temperature.

Smiling he placed the food items on the low square table and walked over to Marcus. He allowed for his hand to hover above the human’s face. It was close enough to feel the breath caress his fingers, but still too far away to touch any skin. Such serene beauty… In his sleep his mask is gone and his true face revealed. Fascinated, he couldn’t bring himself to break away from Marcus and etched every line on the human’s face in to his memory. Marcus stirred unexpectedly and Neroon quickly took several steps away from the platform.

Slowly opening his eyes Marcus smiled hesitantly at Neroon whose expression told him what the Minbari had been up to. “You were watching me,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Neroon immediately admitted. “I love to look at you when you are asleep… like the time when I visited you in med lab.”

“I impressed you that day, didn’t I?” Marcus almost wished Neroon would break his promise and touched him again.

“Oh, yes. You definitely did!” Neroon sighed and tore his gaze away from Marcus. “I visited the kitchen earlier to collect some food.” He presented the bowls.

Hungry, Marcus sat up and checked their content. “You can have all the Flarn,” he stated teasingly.

“No, we will share equally.” He wasn’t that fond of Flarn himself. “And tomorrow we =will= attend breakfast.”

“Even more Flarn,” Marcus joked and took a bite out of a piece of fruit Neroon had handed him.

“I think that certain things might have changed since you were here last.” Neroon sat down on the floor next to the table. “Dagan was baking bread when I left.”

“Baking bread?” Amused, Marcus reached for another piece of fruit and one of his fingers accidentally touched Neroon’s. Feeling almost electrified Marcus pulled back and averted his eyes.

Neroon grinned as he noticed Marcus’ embarrassment and slightly flustered face. Delighted to see this particular response, he leaned contently against the wall. He no longer had any doubts that Marcus would accept him as his lover. “You are blushing again,” he told his companion.

“Can’t help it,” Marcus confessed in a soft tone and grew silent, wondering about Neroon’s openness. It was beyond him how anyone could consider Neroon a private man. Suddenly he realized he still hadn’t informed Delenn of the outcome of their ‘negotiations’. “Bugger, I forgot to tell Delenn…”

Neroon disliked hearing her name right now. He wanted Marcus’ complete attention. “I also visited William.”

“Has his condition improved yet?” Marcus asked hopefully, forgetting about Delenn.

“He is once more breathing on his own and will make a full recovery eventually.”

“Thank God for that!” Marcus whispered relieved and sat down opposite Neroon. Peeking at the fruit he realized Neroon hadn’t touched his Flarn yet either. “Any sign of the attacker?”

“I advised Durhann to double the guards on the compound. Nothing should happen tonight.”

“I was too afraid to hope that William would survive,” Marcus whispered in an uncertain tone. “I told myself that he would die anyway so I was prepared for his death.”

“You lack faith,” Neroon pointed out to him, touched that Marcus trusted him enough to speak his most private thoughts. But Marcus' depressing point of view displeased him.

“Contrary to Delenn I don’t think that faith manages,” Marcus confessed and dug into the fruit.

“But it does.” Neroon got to his feet. “We will have to rise early in the morning so I suggest we try to sleep now.” Neroon uncovered some dark robes from his closet.

“Yes, right,” Marcus muttered, more interest in the remaining fruit. “Are you going to eat those?”

“No,” Neroon chuckled from the bathroom. “You may eat them.”

While devouring the food Marcus wondered what it would be like to share a room with Neroon. He had slept alone for many years. And what am I going to sleep in? I’ve only got my uniform! He had left behind the brown robes in his former quarters.

As Neroon emerged from the bathroom Marcus almost choked on his last piece of fruit. “Robes don’t suit you either!” he teased, amazed that Neroon looked this comfortable wearing them.

Neroon simply ignored the remark and rested his body on the platform. His pike however was in his right hand, ready to fight off any attacker that might sneak into their quarters.

After rising to his feet Marcus remained poised in the center of the room. Finally he slipped out of his tunic and cloak, but grabbed hold of his pike as well before following Neroon’s example and lying down on the tilted bed.

“You should change your clothing when going to sleep,” Neroon whispered. “Or that uniform will have to be replaced again tomorrow.” Peeking though his eyelids he noticed Marcus’ nod.

“I know, but I told you earlier that I don’t have that many belongings and I left the brown robes behind in my rooms,” he said a bit embarrassed.

Neroon now fully opened his eyes and shot him a confused look.

“What?”

Neroon didn’t answer him, but instead walked back to the closet and slowly uncovered an iron-like chest which he reverently opened. “Use these.” He returned to Marcus to hand him the grey robes.

A secretive expression draped Neroon’s eyes and Marcus didn’t know what to make of it. “Are you sure you don’t mind me wearing them?” He hesitated to accept Neroon’s offer. There was something unsettling in those dark eyes.

“I insist,” Neroon replied in a firm tone.

“Thank you.” Marcus finally accepted the grey robes.

Smiling contently Neroon returned to his platform to lie down again. He had spoken the truth earlier, he was indeed tired.

In awe, Marcus studied the fabric in his hands. The rich texture told him it had to be valuable and he wondered what Neroon wasn’t telling him. Quickly he disappeared into the bathroom to undress. As he pulled the grey robes over his head gooseflesh appeared on his skin. Maybe it’s because Neroon wore it… Something definitely felt weird, but he couldn’t label the sensation.

Neroon watched as Marcus stepped into the living area again and was briefly struck breathless seeing him wearing the garment. “But =those= robes do look good on you.”

Marcus’ face became flustered again and this time he actually felt it happening. Neroon’s eyes never left him as he walked over to the platform. Several layers of cloth ensured he felt warmth. The hood was down and he wondered why it was there in the first place. “But they feel… weird!”

“Your imagination is playing tricks on you,” Neroon chuckled amused seeing Marcus’ efforts to lie down without getting entangled in the garment. “During the night you might consider joining me for that swim tomorrow,” he added wickedly. Marcus was so easy to embarrass!

Bugger, I had forgotten about that! The robes were surprisingly warm and comfortable. “I’m way too shy for that!” he confessed in the end and slipped his cold hands into the sleeves.

“You can change that.”

A silence followed that statement and Neroon had almost fallen asleep as Marcus’ voice woke him again from his slumber.

“Neroon?” Marcus mumbled, feeling at ease hearing the warrior’s reassuring breathing.

“Yes?” Neroon sighed, wondering when Marcus would allow him to fall asleep.

“I’m… confused,” Marcus revealed in an uncertain tone.

“Why are you confused?” Neroon realized he wouldn’t get any sleep before Marcus’ worries had been soothed.

“So much has happened in these two days… First you lure me into taking part in the Nafak’Cha and then,” Marcus turned onto his side so he could look at the Minbari. “And then you tell me you want me as your lover. Why me?”

Neroon was fully awake again. “I already answered that question.”

“Yes, you did.” Marcus his arm underneath his head. “Tell me something personal about yourself?” The ranger wondered how Neroon would react to this somewhat impertinent request.

Neroon however relished hearing the demanding tone to Marcus’ voice. “Something personal?” he whispered, then realized it was time to tell Marcus about his past. “Do you know the Minbari word Satai?”

“Yes, Satai is the honorary title for a member of the Grey Council,” he had heard a few things about these fabled chosen ones who guided their people.

“The Grey Council no longer exists. Delenn broke it,” he corrected Marcus. “They are no more.”

“I only recently learned that Delenn was Grey once,” Marcus admitted and wished he knew why Neroon had chosen this topic. It was something Minbari only discussed in private and certainly not with a human!

“I was Grey for a short while,” Neroon finally confessed and observed Marcus’ surprised facial expression.

“You?” His eyes grew big as he realized what Neroon had just told him. “You were a member of the Grey Council?” He elbowed himself upright.

“Only briefly.” Neroon wondered if Marcus would ever figure out what robes he was wearing at the moment. Never before had a human worn them.

“So you’re a Satai =and= an Alit?”

“Not any longer. I am satisfied with being an Alit. I am a warrior at heart, Marcus.”

“I still can’t believe you told me that!” Truly honored by Neroon’s trust he wanted to return it somehow, but didn’t know how.

“We should try and sleep now,” Neroon chided him and closed his eyes again, relieved he was no longer carrying this secret, burdening his soul.

“I’ll join you for that swim in the morning,” Marcus stuttered, almost choking on the words.

“Excellent.”

“What did I do? Why did I say that?” Marcus suddenly realized what he had committed himself to and was shocked to find he had spoken those words aloud.

“You are working towards acceptance of many things, Marcus, " Neroon remarked sleepily. “You have to persevere.”

Marcus smiled. With you at my side I feel like I can accomplish everything!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neroon woke during the night because Marcus was restlessly moving about on his platform, sometimes muttering a soft groan. As Neroon turned his head he saw the tormented expression on the human’s face and realized Marcus was having a nightmare.

“Willie? Where are you?”

He’s dreaming about his brother. Neroon didn’t like the strangled tone in Marcus’ voice. Maybe there was something he could do to drive the past away. “Marcus?” he said in a firm tone and resolutely placed his hand on Marcus’ cold one. But the human didn’t react and Neroon wondered what to do next. All he could think of was pulling Marcus into an embrace, but their platforms stood too far apart to do that.

Softly, Neroon got to his feet and pushed his platform closer to Marcus’ and returned to his former position. I probably should not do this. I have broken my promise too many times already, he berated himself but as another groan left Marcus’ lips he set aside all doubts. The shaken tone unnerved him and he couldn’t bear to listen to Marcus’ soft pleas any longer. “Come to me,” Neroon whispered tenderly and gathered Marcus in his arms who immediately gave in and snuggled closer.

“Willie?” he mumbled once more, but now in a calm tone.

Neroon pushed Marcus on his side and the human rested his head on his chest. Finally, Marcus started to calm down and Neroon released a relieved sigh.

Not aware of his actions in his sleep Marcus wrapped his arms around the warrior, craving the warmth of another living being close to him. His dreams broke and changed.

Relieved, Neroon understood that it was this closeness Marcus needed and decided not to wake him. Apparently the disturbing dreams had left and a soft smile had now appeared on Marcus’ face. Holding him tightly Neroon wondered if it would be like this for the rest of their lives and found himself hoping it would. Soothingly stroking Marcus’ soft hair he drew a deep breath and remained in control of his raging feelings. “Rest easy, Marcus. No troubled dreams will haunt you. I will watch over you.”

As Marcus’ breathing slowed down to a normal level Neroon allowed for his hand to rest at the small of the human’s back, pulling him even closer. Marcus reacted by draping one of his legs over his and Neroon grinned, realizing how comfortable it felt to hold Marcus in his arms like this. The fabric of his robes felt familiar and he was convinced beyond any doubt that this human possessed a Minbari soul. I wonder how you would have reacted had I told you which robes you’re wearing. The only time I wore them was during my time as a member of the Grey Council…

The connection between them baffled him and although Marcus was still struggling to admit the attraction he had never experienced such closeness in a relationship before. Not even with Tarek… maybe they had been too young to connect on such an elemental level. “Tarek would have liked you, Marcus.” Neroon rested his head on the platform, listening to Marcus’ breathing and heartbeat. “I love you, Marcus. By Valen, I have never loved anyone like this before… and I want you…” he whispered desperately, well aware his words never registered in Marcus’ dreaming brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warm… comfortable… not alone… Marcus focused on this warmth, which had wrapped itself around him. Sleepily, he opened his eyes and stared straight into Neroon’s dark ones and finally realized who was his source of warmth. Neroon’s body heat was warming him and the next thing he noted were strong arms folded around his chest.

Neroon expected Marcus to try and break free of the embrace, but to his surprise Marcus stared back at him in bafflement. “Your dreams were troubled and I could not let it continue,” Neroon explained apologetically.

“I… " Marcus tried phrasing the way he felt, but realized words were inadequate to express the measure of safety he was experiencing. If felt to good to be held like this and there was no need to free himself of the reassuring warmth. Instead he sighed and rested his head once more on the warrior’s chest. I’ve never felt such intimacy before … such acceptance of who I am and what I did in the past… I like him. “I’m glad you broke your promise not to touch me, Neroon,” he confessed in a wavering tone.

Marcus’ words pleased him and Neroon smiled warmly. “I was afraid I had betrayed your trust by giving in to my desire to console you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Marcus finally admitted to himself that he loved having Neroon this close. The warrior was an enigma to him and Marcus wondered what kind of future lay in store for him after accepting Neroon at the Nafak’Cha. Oh, no! I promised to join him for that swim, he suddenly realized in dread.

“We should get up and attend breakfast after changing our clothing,” Neroon reminded him and hated the fact that he had to let go of the human. Marcus had melted perfectly into his arms after he had woken up, another sign that he was considering a relationship. He did not push me away as he woke up. It felt so natural to hold him this close.

I don’t want to get up! I want to stay like this… I want time to stop and freeze this moment!  But they had an assassin to catch and they had to do so quickly in order to prevent more humans from becoming his victim. Neroon already knows I will say yes and that I will accept him as my lover. He smiled at the Minbari who looked at him thoughtfully as if trying to guess his thoughts. I want him too…“I thought you wanted to go for that swim first,” Marcus reminded him and hated the fact he had to get up, but did and almost tripped over the robes.

“I need nourishment first.” Neroon immediately felt the loss of warmth as Marcus got to his feet. “We will have breakfast first and then we will go for that swim.”

“Fine with me,” Marcus replied, glad to be given more time to get used to the idea of taking off his clothes in Neroon’s presence.

“And later on I want to try and find the attacker. There is still a chance that he might go after more humans.” Neroon watched him retreat into the bathroom and listened to the sounds of splashing water. Tempted to walk in there unannounced he told himself to remain in control of his feelings. Marcus had been honest when telling him that he was shy and he shouldn’t push matters. He wanted Marcus to feel comfortable enough to let down his guard. But the Wind Sword did worry him. Now that he had been exposed he might try more desperate actions, not afraid to die for his cause. At least Marcus had agreed to stay close to him.

Slowly Marcus undressed and reverently allowed his fingers to caress the rich fabric. Shaking his head he remembered Neroon’s unexpected admission of having been part of the Grey Council. The Minbari was full of surprises!

After slipping back into his uniform he brushed his hair and stared at his reflection in the mirror. It was almost like someone else was looking back at him. His eyes were alive with a startling intensity and a smile had actually appeared on his face. And it’s all because of Neroon! I haven’t felt this comfortable with myself for years! Carrying the robes back with him he realized Neroon had changed into his uniform as well. “Where do you want me to put these?”

“Back in the chest,” Neroon decided, not keen on Minbari trainees finding them and realizing what they were looking at.

Marcus closed the chest again and pushed it back into the closet. “You can use the bathroom now.”

“Thank you!” Neroon teased and decided to get cleaned up before breakfast. “We will hold the farewell ceremony for your brother tomorrow.”

Absentmindedly, Marcus nodded his head. “I want to check on William first.”

“I will accompany you.” Neroon grabbed his black cloak and walked over to the door where Marcus was waiting for him.

“I don’t need a baby sitter,” Marcus said a tad irritated. Does he think I can’t defend myself?

Neroon read the human’s emotions in his eyes. “I also want to know how William is doing.”

“All right,” Marcus gave in and opened the door. “It still baffles me that you’re concerned for a human.”

“Many things changed since our paths first crossed.” The corridors were quickly filling with trainees rushing around and Neroon growled as one of them blocked his way. The young Minbari immediately moved out of his way and content, Neroon continued his walk.

“You big bully!” Marcus grinned, trying to tell Neroon he was only joking.

“A bully?” Neroon repeated, unsure of the word’s meaning.

“I’ll explain it to you later.” They had reached the infirmary and Marcus smiled seeing the human medics working alongside Minbari healers. The two races had learned to trust and rely on each other, both dedicated to saving life.

“Banner,” Neroon started, seeing the old healer. “How is William doing?”

“Recovering,” the healer replied. “Do you wish to see him?”

“Can we? Won’t we disturb his rest?” Marcus asked concerned.

“No, please follow me.” Banner gestured them to walk along. He stopped as they reached William’s room. “You can step inside, but do not tire him too much. He is still very weak.”

“Of course.” Marcus was stunned to find the trainee awake. Although William had a hard time keeping his eyes open he seemed aware of his surroundings. “Hello, William, remember me?” Surprised, Marcus realized that his voice had been steady speaking that name.

A weak nod told him William knew who he was and Marcus slowly approached the bed. Neroon stayed near the doorway and the ranger realized he’d have to do most of the talking. “Do you remember what happened yesterday evening?”

“Not really. I went outside because I like the fragrances of the different flowers at night and suddenly…” Tired, he closed his eyes and released a deep breath, “Something… a terrible pain…”

“You were stabbed,” Marcus informed him and felt relieved the young man would live.

“Stabbed?” William echoed, dozing off again.

“Did you see your attacker?” Neroon suddenly asked, realizing they needed every shred of information they could get their hands on.

“Bonecrest… Minbari,” William muttered drained and fell asleep again.

Neroon walked up to Marcus and looked at the trainee. “My suspicions were correct then. At least we now know for sure that we are looking for a Minbari.”

“Yes, but little good it does us,” Marcus muttered depressed.

“One of my guards will keep a close eye on the infirmary. William is quite safe here.”

“Thank you, Neroon.”

“And now we will have breakfast. I am hungry!” Catching the attacker would be difficult and dangerous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t believe it,” Marcus stuttered, seeing the bread, cheese and marmalade on their table. Even peanut butter had been placed in front of him!

“We made some arrangements for our human brethren." Sech Turval watched Marcus dig into a sandwich.

The ranger grinned at the other human trainees who seemed to prefer sandwiches to Flarn as well. Neroon sat beside him, a dark expression on his face as he had been handed a bowl of Flarn.

Trying hard to act politely Neroon ate the traditional dish. At the same time he searched the faces of the Minbari trainees and teachers. One of them had to be the attacker. Seeing Marcus’ content expression he repressed a frustrated growl. It was obvious the human loved the food he had been served.

“Tea? Anla’Shok?” Talin asked, as he offered Marcus a cup. It was his turn to wait on the main table. “Sech Turval asked me to prepare some Earl Grey for you.” He had no idea what Earl Grey meant and he muffled the alien words.

“Tea?” Marcus looked up and immediately recognized the delicate aroma. “I would love some tea!” Looking at Neroon, annoyance showed in his dark eyes. “Do you like your Flarn?”

“Yes,” the warrior growled dangerously, thus earning a confused look by Sech Turval and Durhann. “Do not ask!”

Durhann shrugged his shoulders and then addressed his former students. “Would the both of you consider joining us for some sparring exercises this afternoon? The trainees heard rumors about your fight and are most eager to see your skills.”

Neroon and Marcus exchanged a glance. They couldn’t deny their former teacher his request and Neroon answered Durhann after Marcus had nodded his consent. “We will.”

Durhann smiled contently and resumed eating his Flarn.

Neroon leaned in closer and whispered into Marcus’ ear, “We will join them =after= we have visited the lake.”

Bugger! I hoped we would spar =instead= of going for that bloody swim! Finishing his tea he noticed the somewhat odd aroma and attributed it to Talin not knowing how to properly prepare tea.

“Please excuse us now,” Neroon started as the other teachers told the trainees to head for the classrooms. “We want to visit Valen’s garden and will leave now.”

“Again?” Sech Turval teased and smiled, realizing something special had happened there to connect the two of them to that enchanting place.

“Yes.” Neroon got to his feet and returned the grin Sech Turval shot him, after all, the old Minbari knew about his attraction towards Marcus.

“You may be excused then.” Sech Turval'a eyes told Durhann he would explain things later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus enjoyed walking through the gardens, but wasn’t eager to reach the lake. I’m going to blush all over my body! he thought apprehensively, wondering if he would get cold feet at the last moment.

“We have to lure the attacker into a trap,” Neroon suddenly stated.

Confused, Marcus locked eyes with him. The attacker had been the last thing on his mind and he chided himself. The Minbari assailant should be his prime concern! “Yes,” he agreed and was totally surprised as a sudden attack of vertigo made his head swim. What the hell?

Neroon’s gaze was now aimed at the ground, lost in thought as he was and didn’t notice the feverish expression in Marcus’ eyes, who for some reason had slowed down walking. “Maybe we can think of a trap…”

“Perhaps.” Marcus breathed in deeply and light flashes made him close his eyes. His hands reached for one of the trees and he had to steady himself as the dizziness increased. Sweat now covered his brow and his body felt on fire, burning his skin to cinder. As his breathing turned ragged he whispered, “Neroon?”

“Yes?” the warrior replied impatiently, trying to think of a way to locate the Wind Sword.

“I… don’t… feel that great,” he panted as his legs gave out on him. Sinking down onto the grass he placed his hand against his chest, trying to slow down his frantic heartbeat.

“Marcus?” Neroon whispered, suddenly aware that the human wasn’t at his side any longer and stopped walking. Turning about he hurried to Marcus’ side, seeing his desperate struggle for breath. “What…?” he growled and noticed the rash quickly spreading over the human’s throat and face. No! He thought horrified. This is impossible! Quickly, he kneeled at Marcus’ side and studied the rash. “You have been poisoned. We have to return and take you to the infirmary where I can produce an antidote.”

“Poi… soned?” Marcus’ speech was slurred and his head lolled back and forth. “Can’t… walk,” he whispered and tried fighting his panic. I can’t die now! Not now I finally found… him!  He doubled forward in agony as the poison attacked his vital organs.

Neroon ignored the remark and effortlessly lifted him from the ground. “I will carry you. Thankfully we are still close to the training facility.” Pulling Marcus close Neroon continued to study the speed with which the rash spread over Marcus’ skin. “It is a lethal poison, the Jambar, and only known to a Kalen’tha initiate,” he told Marcus, realizing the human had a right to know how serious his condition was.

“I… will die… then?” Marcus moaned as another stabbing pain tortured his brain. His blurry vision made him nauseous and he closed his eyes, desperately holding onto the warrior who carried him like he hardly weighed a thing.

“I won’t allow it.” Neroon gritted his teeth and began to run. He couldn’t waste a single valuable second. Afraid to lose Marcus to certain death he was determined to fight fate. “If I ever get my hands on this Wind Sword…”

“Neroon? I… can’t stay… awake.” Marcus' cold hands clenched his burning stomach as his intestines flared up again.

“You have to! Talk to me! The poison will spread faster once you are asleep!”

“Can’t…” The word left his lips with a tortured sigh. This fire was consuming him and he coughed violently.

Blood showed on Marcus' lips and Neroon realized the poison had reached Marcus’ vital organs. Not wasting his breath on speaking, he ran down the corridors of the main building, thankful he knew where to find the infirmary. “Hold on!” he told Marcus as he rushed inside and placed him on one of the platforms. “Banner!” he shouted and was relieved when two human medics appeared. “He has been poisoned. I need certain chemicals to produce the anti dote!”

“Follow me.”

Neroon looked one more time at Marcus and was worried as the rash turned a deep shade of red. “We cannot waste any more time!” he stated and followed the female medic into the laboratory. Valen, please let them have the right ingredients! Frantically he searched all shelves for the substances he needed. Relieved, he carried the vials with him and mixed them. The Wind sword must have poisoned him during breakfast… Jambar is a poison that only spreads slowly though the body.

Marcus’ mind drifted close to the borders of unconsciousness but he still heard the voices fussing over him, telling him to stay awake and open his eyes. But he couldn’t do that. He was way too tired to look at them. Why didn’t they leave him alone? Pain had taken over and he curled himself into a tight ball, still clutching his stomach.

“Marcus? You have to drink this!”

Recognizing Neroon’s voice through the haze, he moaned as someone pulled him into a sitting position. Unable to protest the movement, he had to give in and almost choked on the bitter substance riding down his throat.

Anxious for Marcus to finish drinking, Neroon hoped the antidote proved effective. It was all he could think of to help. “Drink,” he said softly and massaged Marcus’ throat to coax him into drinking everything. Putting the empty cup aside he hauled Marcus back to his feet. “You have to walk, Marcus.”

Nauseous and dizzy Marcus tried hard to ignore the command, but his feet already dragged over the floor. Why was Neroon doing this to him? Didn’t the warrior know how much pain he was in?

As Sech Turval entered the room Neroon quickly looked up. “The Wind Sword poisoned him. Make sure William is safe.”

The teacher nodded and left, understanding the seriousness of Marcus’ condition. His presence would only hamper Neroon and he checked on William instead.

“What is that noise… all about?” the trainee asked and grew worried seeing the expression in the Minbari’s eyes.

Sech Turval closed the door and sat down, considering what to tell the young human.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relieved, Neroon noticed that the rash on Marcus’ throat and face had begun to fade and it strengthened his belief that he had been in time to neutralize the Jambar. The human medics had insisted Marcus rested in a normal bed and he had immediately given in. All he was concerned about was Marcus’ well being. Neroon’s hands clasped the human's and he listened to the now normal breathing. Two hours had passed since he had taken Marcus to the infirmary and finally the healing process had set in. Angry with himself for allowing the Wind Sword to get this close to Marcus, Neroon wondered when the poison had been fed to the human. It usually took the Jambar one hour to become effective, so it must have happened during breakfast. A sudden image of Talin offering Marcus tea burned on his retina. “Talin is too young to have absorbed such training!” he whispered, yet he couldn’t dismiss the possibility.

“Matham,” Neroon waited for his personal guard to come closer.

“Yes, Alit?”

Neroon looked up and studied the Minbari warrior he had chosen as part of his personal guard 2 cycles ago. “I want you to arrest a young trainee called Talin.”

Matham nodded and left to carry out this command. He would never question one of Neroon’s orders.

“Marcus,” Neroon sighed depressed and wished the human would awaken. Soothingly rubbing the knuckles of Marcus’ hands he stared at the pale face. You were so close to death… too close…If I hadn’t given you the antidote so quickly you would be dead now. The Wind Sword might not know I was trained in the art of Kalen’tha as well. I am the only one who can stop the assassin.

Marcus’ clothes had been loosened and a soft blanket covered his sweat soaked body. Neroon tucked him in again, only leaving Marcus’ hands uncovered to caress them. It might be hours before Marcus would regain consciousness. He had been worried about the internal bleeding the medics had discovered, but Banner had assured him it wasn’t serious. “Come back to me, Marcus,” he mumbled and raised one hand to push some stray locks out of the human’s face.

The words barely managed to reach Marcus’ foggy brain, but he did register them. Drained, he tried opening his eyes and through half closed eyelids he recognized Neroon sitting next to his bed. “Neroon…” He closed his eyes again. The last thing he remembered was Neroon telling him he had been poisoned and that he was going to die.

“Valen be praised,” Neroon said relieved and reassuringly squeezed Marcus’ hand. “You survived.”

“I did?” Marcus felt tired and found it hard to formulate sentences. Words swamped his brain and yet at the same time he had forgotten their meaning.

“Yes.” Neroon leaned in a little closer to study Marcus’ green eyes which were lucid. “Valen help me, but if you had died I would have taken my revenge on the one who did this to you.”

Marcus managed to smile weakly, touched by Neroon’s intense tone. “You have… to find… the assassin.”

“I will.” Neroon hoped Matham had already arrested Talin so he could question him later. He had to be sure whether the trainee was innocent or not. “Is there anything I can do to lessen your pain?”

Marcus’ smile broadened and it took all his energy to run a thumb over Neroon’s hand. “Stay,” he replied sleepily. “Don’t leave me… alone again.” More than anything he wanted Neroon close. The warrior would watch him, guard his life because Neroon cared for him. The Minbari would never desert him.

Neroon nodded. “I will stay with you,” he said and released a sigh. “You need rest. Try to sleep.”

Twining his fingers around Neroon’s, Marcus relished the concern and affection in the Minbari’s dark eyes. Maybe I can love you back, he thought as the revelation hit him.

Neroon watched him doze off and briefly closed his eyes as well, desperately trying to control the rage deep within his mind. The Wind Sword was going to pay for the pain he had caused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sech Turval stared at Matham in shock. “Why did you arrest Talin?”

“Alit Neroon ordered me to do so,” was all Matham replied.

The trainee had been confined to his room and Sech Turval had hurried over there once the news had reached him. I must talk to Neroon. He headed for the infirmary. Neroon must have a reason to order this arrest.

The warrior had remained at Marcus’ side the entire time and Sech Turval admired Neroon for this public show of concern. This way the attraction between them will quickly become publicly known. But something told him Neroon didn’t care about that. As he entered the infirmary he encountered Banner and asked the healer to give him an update on Marcus’ condition.

“He will survive. Alit Neroon prepared the antidote and administered it to him before the poison had a chance to damage his brain or vital organs. Marcus has to rest for some time though.”

“Thank you. Can I visit him for a short while?”

“Yes.” Banner bowed slightly and returned to the laboratory to study the poison.

Sech Turval quickly reached Marcus’ room and halted, seeing Neroon’s expression. Relief showed, mixed in with apprehension and fear of loss. “May I enter?”

Neroon looked up and nodded once. “He regained consciousness some moments ago, but is now asleep again.”

The teacher remained standing at the foot end of the bed and wondered what to say. Marcus still looked pale and his eyelids fluttered due to his rather intense dreams. “Why did you arrest Talin?”

“I want to question him. I suspect the poison was in the tea.”

“I trust Talin,” Sech Turval said determined.

“I do not think he is the assassin either, but he may be his accomplice. I have to make sure…” Neroon looked him in the eyes, “I do not want another attempted murder on my hands.”

“I understand.” Sech Turval sighed resigned. “Please inform me should Marcus’ condition change.”

“I hope he will remain stable… he must!” His tone betrayed his concern, but Neroon couldn’t hide it.

“So do I.” Sech Turval left the room to meditate and offer a prayer to Valen in this hour of need.

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