Title: Balrogs, Storytelling and Confessions.

Author: Morgana  ---  morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor.
Rating: PG, I think.

Summary; The twins are determined to spend more time with Erestor and do not mind one bit when Glorfindel decides to join in as well.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, discussion of child loss.

Author’s Note: All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

Beta read by Aduial! Thanks so much, sweetie!

Piccie by SayAye, thanks!

Balrogs, Storytelling and Confessions

“We want Uncle Erestor to tell us a story!” Elrohir determinedly nodded his head. “Not you!”

Glorfindel chuckled, softly; Elrond’s youngest son knew exactly what he wanted. “Do you not like the way I tell stories?”

“We do,” replied Elladan, moving in front of his twin to pull Glorfindel close by tugging at the golden braids. “We like you… And you are funny when telling us a story, but we miss Erestor.”

“You miss him?” Glorfindel leaned his back against the wall, allowing Elladan to climb onto his lap. Two weeks had passed by since the twins had sought and found shelter from the thunderstorm in Erestor’s arms and the toddlers continued to seek Erestor out. The advisor no longer turned them away, but it had become clear to Glorfindel that Erestor still felt uncomfortable hugging the twins in his presence. Fear was always readable in the large, doe-like eyes and Erestor would always release the twins from his embrace seeing him enter. “You miss your Uncle Erestor?”

“Aye, we miss *Ada* Erestor,” Elrohir tried to copy Erestor’s normally so serious expression, looking at Glorfindel. “We do not want him to sit alone in his rooms.”

Glorfindel stroked Elrohir’s hair. “That is very thoughtful of you, but does he really want your company? What if he wants to be alone?”

“No one wants to be alone,” replied Elladan, feeling left out. “And certainly not Ada Erestor. He had a son once… and we are his new sons now.”

In the Elflings’ world things were startling simple, realized Glorfindel. The twins really thought they could ease Erestor’s pain by declaring him their new ‘Ada’ and maybe they were even right this time around. Erestor had begun to smile more often, the sharp-tongued remarks were growing less and the advisor even endured Glorfindel’s presence without much complaining about his obnoxious behavior.

Glorfindel smiled, warmly, pulled Elladan to his feet and tickled the twin mercilessly. A moment later, Elrohir joined in and soon they were rolling over the floor of the nursery.

Glorfindel heard the soft footfalls long before the twins did and saw the door open minutely before beginning to close again. “Welcome your new Ada then,” he said, alerting the twins to the new arrival.

Elladan and Elrohir got to their feet, stared at the door, and charged. Glorfindel laughed, loudly and warmly, amused at seeing the twins cling to Erestor’s legs. The advisor had no way out!

“Erestor!” Elladan chirped, happily, and hugged Erestor’s left leg close. “Stay!”

“Ada…Ada…Ada… lalala,” singsonged Elrohir, who laughed contently when Erestor finally properly entered the nursery. “We want a story!”

Erestor was more than willing to tell them a story, but felt timid, seeing Glorfindel was present as well. “Maybe later, little ones.”

“No! Now!” Elladan gripped Erestor’s ankle tightly and tried to pull him toward Glorfindel. “We even have a story book you can read from!”

“It even has a Balrog!” Elrohir released Erestor’s leg and looked up, trustingly. “Please?”

Glorfindel managed to fight down his laughter, knowing it would annoy Erestor and cause the advisor to retreat into his shell. “Aye, it has Balrogs and fire drakes!”

“And the hero is called Glorfindel!” Elladan nodded, eagerly. He grabbed hold of Erestor’s hand and pulled him down until the advisor finally seated himself on the floor, beside Glorfindel.

“Is he?” Erestor was careful not to look at the blond, still uncertain how to behave around the warrior. Now that the twins were close he couldn’t resort to his usual aloof behavior.

“Will you play Glorfindel’s part?” Big-eyed, Elladan pressed the book into Erestor’s hands. “Then Uncle Glorfindel can be the Balrog! He is good at growling!”

“I am good at growling?” Glorfindel lifted an eyebrow, pretending surprise. “I want to be the hero! Hold on, I *am* the hero!”

“Nah! Erestor is the hero! Our hero!” Elladan tumbled forward, letting himself fall toward Erestor, who quickly caught him. “Erestor – hero! Glorfindel – Balrog!”

“I am being reduced to a Balrog!” huffed Glorfindel, playing along.

“Or do you want to be a fire drake?” Elrohir extended his arms, trying to mimic a drake’s movement. “They can fly! Don’t you want to fly, Uncle Glorfindel?”

Glorfindel snorted, grabbed hold of Elrohir and gently eased him onto the floor, tickling the Elfling. “I am a big, bad fire drake and I am going to tickle you into submission!”

Elladan pounced on the adult, trying to get his hands on Glorfindel, but the warrior was too fast and simply too powerful. Soon, he had joined his brother, lying on his back and being tickled so badly he had to fight for air.

Really getting into the spirit of things, Glorfindel picked Elladan up, growled and bowed forward, pretending to bite him. In reality he wanted to place a big raspberry on the Elfling’s abdomen, but he froze, seeing Erestor’s shocked expression.

“Uncle…Glorfindel?” Elladan’s breath came in short spurts, still recovering from the tickling match and he now wondered why the blond had stopped playing.

“Elladan, be a good boy and take your brother to see your Nana. Erestor and I need a moment alone. I promise to finish the tale and the tickling match later,” said Glorfindel, realizing that Erestor hadn’t moved at all. “Go now.”

Confused, but obeying, Elladan grabbed Elrohir by the hand and dragged him out of the nursery and into the corridor. After closing the door behind them, he questioningly looked at his twin. “What went wrong? We were merely playing.”

“It was Erestor,” said Elrohir, thoughtfully – remarkably wise for his tender age. “Uncle Glorfindel is worried about Ada Erestor.” Elrohir cocked his head. “We should leave them alone for a moment.”

“We should go to Nana then,” decided Elladan. “I am sleepy at any rate.”

“You are always sleepy,” remarked Elrohir, giggling. “But a nap sounds fine.”

And so the two Elflings set out to find their Nana.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Erestor?” Glorfindel gently pried the book from Erestor’s hands and placed it aside. Kneeling in front of the still figure, he felt useless, seeing the tears spill from the almond-shaped eyes. “Tell me what to do.” He should have known better than to ‘attack’ the twins, pretending to be a fire drake, one of the beasts the Nazgûl’s used to carry them. Had witnessing the scene catapulted Erestor back into the past? Had he been forced to relive his wife’s and son’s death? “I am so sorry, my friend.” Carefully, he enfolded Erestor in a loose hug. “I did not consider…”

“Don’t,” whispered Erestor, finally regaining control over his emotions and memories. With that came the realization that Glorfindel knew. How was that possible? Pulling away, he eyed the blond sharply. “How much do you know?”

Glorfindel swallowed, nervously. “Elrond told me about that fateful day at the lakeside.” He carefully considered his next words. “He told me about Medlin and Nínim and my heart bleeds for your loss.” Erestor tensed against him and a cold expression appeared in the brown eyes. Risking it all, Glorfindel said, “You do not have to keep me at a distance, Erestor. I already died and I returned to Arda. I doubt I will die again any time soon.” He could literally feel Erestor’s resistance crumble and then the dark-haired Elf leaned against him, heavily and in search of support. “I never married, Erestor, and I never had children, but I remember the pain I was in when Ecthelion died.”

Erestor rested his head against Glorfindel’s shoulder. “I could have dealt with losing Medlin. We loved each other dearly, but… but when I lost my son as well… I lost my reason to go on living.”

“But you did.”

“Elrond and Ereinion made me.” Erestor briefly closed his eyes. “And then the twins were born.”

“And you decided against loving them openly.” Experimentally, Glorfindel rubbed Erestor’s back in soothing circles. “You locked them out.”

“I had to. I knew I would not survive losing them.” Erestor composed himself and began to pull away from Glorfindel, but the blond refused to break the embrace and forced him to stay in place. “Glorfindel?” Why wasn’t the warrior releasing him?

“Silly me,” said Glorfindel, slowly letting go – and regretfully so. “But I thought you could do with a good hug.” Lifting shy eyes, he added, “The twins already figured out that I am very huggable and I thought that maybe you would like to convince yourself of that fact too.”

Erestor’s eyes widened at Glorfindel’s out of character behavior. “You are huggable?” Had he heard correctly?

“Aye, do you wish to try again?” He knew he was overdoing it, but his emotions were raging and he wasn’t certain how to act around Erestor. “Maybe a tiny hug for starters?”

“Did you have too much wine?” Erestor frowned, deeply. “Why are you acting like this?”

“I did not have any wine,” replied Glorfindel, now frowning as well. “What is wrong with me offering you a hug?”

“You… You…” Shaking his head, Erestor wondered if Sauron had found a way to replace the Captain with one of his minions.

“It is you, you know,” admitted Glorfindel, shyly. “I always wanted to get to know you – really get to know you – not the façade you show everyone. The real Erestor.”

“And you want to hug me?” Erestor honestly had no idea how to handle a ‘huggable’ Glorfindel.

Taking the plunge into the deep, Glorfindel let his fair hair fall in front of his face before saying, “I like you, Erestor.”

“You *like* me?” Had his whole world changed overnight? “Glorfindel, please make sense!”

“I can try,” said Glorfindel, smiling tenderly.

Erestor began to pull back when Glorfindel leaned in closer, but his back was against the wall. Shocked, he stared at the blond, who was still getting closer to him. Strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist and gentle lips claimed his. It was a fairly innocent kiss – without any tongue – but it set Erestor on fire.

Encouraged, Glorfindel rested one hand against the nape of Erestor’s neck. Pressing closer, he moaned softly and met Erestor’s puzzled expression. Being kissed was the last thing Erestor had expected to happen. Reluctantly, he released the other Elf’s soft lips and pulled away, blushing delicately. “I *like* you, Erestor.”

“Uncle Glorfindel likes Ada Erestor!” Elladan giggled and pointed at Erestor’s dumbfounded expression. “They are kissing!”

Elrohir immediately joined in – enthusiastically. “Kissing! They are kissing like Ada and Nana! Kissing, kissing, kissing!”

Glorfindel groaned, and looked apologetically at Erestor, whose facial expression hadn’t changed a bit. The dark-haired Elf still looked shocked. “I told you to seek out your parents!”

“We do not want to! We want to stay with you! And Erestor seems better… Just quiet.” Elrohir frowned and then made his way over to Erestor. “Hold me! I want a hug too!”

Elladan targeted Glorfindel, jumped onto the blond’s lap and reached for the golden hair. “Hug me!” If Elrohir was about to get a hug, he wanted one too! “Hug! Hug! Hug!”

Erestor, finally coming to his senses again, instinctively hugged Elrohir close. What had happened just now? Glorfindel had kissed him and had told him he *liked* him! But… But why? How? And what was he supposed to do now?

“You never finished the Balrog tale,” said Elladan, pouting even though Glorfindel was hugging him tightly. “Finish it.”

“Still so young and already issuing orders,” whispered Glorfindel, who managed to catch a glimpse of Erestor’s flabbergasted expression.

“Finish it,” said Elrohir, repeating his twin’s words, but with one difference. “*Please* finish it?”

“Because you said please I will,” replied Glorfindel, sighing deeply. And once the tale had been told he would find a way to make Erestor listen – truly listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond studied Erestor extensively and wondered why there was such a soft, yet stunned expression in the brown eyes. “Did my sons manage to get themselves into trouble again?”

“Nay, not your sons… This is about Glorfindel.” Erestor placed the quill aside and looked questioningly at Elrond. “I could always talk to you. I trust you. Would you advise me in this matter?”

“What matter?” Elrond pretended ignorance, though he had a pretty good idea what this was about.

“Glorfindel kissed me.” Erestor blushed. “I never saw it coming.”

“You did not?” Elrond leaned back in his chair. “You have gone through quite some changes these last few weeks and apparently Glorfindel noticed as well.”

“I am… surprised,” admitted Erestor, searching Elrond’s eyes. “Since Medlin, I… I never considered… you know… taking another mate.”

“I understand, Erestor,” replied Elrond, frowning slightly. “You loved her unconditionally and no one can ever take her place.  But the time has come to move on. Why not consider Glorfindel in that way?”

“He is male, Elrond.”

“Aye, I noticed.” Elrond grinned, but at seeing Erestor’s serious expression he schooled his features again. “Are you only attracted to females then?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Erestor gave Elrond a thoroughly dazed look. “I fell in love with Medlin when I reached my majority and there has never been anyone since.”

“Then give Glorfindel a chance, my friend. Does he deserve less?”

“I know that I have been unfriendly toward him in the past – cold and distant even – and now I find I cannot go back to treating him that way.”

“You cannot…?” said Elrond, urging Erestor on.

“You are right. I cannot. Neither can I push away the twins. I have changed.” Erestor stared at the still blank piece of paper in front of him. “I feel like this piece of paper, blank once more. And I am scared. Scared of what the future will bring.”

Elrond left his chair and walked over to Erestor. He came to a halt behind his friend and rested his hands on Erestor’s shoulders. “We never know what the future will bring, Erestor. But you should live each day to the fullest. If you do not give Glorfindel this chance you will always wonder what could have been.” Elrond smiled, warmly. “Did you enjoy being kissed by Glorfindel, Erestor?”

“It was not unpleasant.” Erestor’s blush deepened. “Elrond, why did you tell him about Medlin and Nínim? I never wanted him to find out.”

“I told him because he was cross with you for rejecting the twins. This was before they sneaked into your rooms because the thunderstorm scared them.” Elrond brushed a strand of raven hair back in place behind Erestor’s ear. “Seeing you care for the twins made him more comfortable with the idea of revealing his feelings for you. He was scared you would reject him and your cold and distant demeanor did not appeal to him. But ever since that night he has started seeing you with different eyes.”

Erestor cocked his head and looked at Elrond. “I feel adrift.”

“And I applaud that,” said Elrond, smugly. “You are being given a second chance. Why don’t you take it?”

“Are you saying I should allow Glorfindel to court me?”

“I am saying you should take a risk at love, Erestor.” Seeing his friend’s mounting confusion, he added, “Aye, that is what I am saying.”

“But I have never been with a male!” Erestor’s eyes became huge.

“Oh, I have been,” said Elrond, giving Erestor a wicked wink. “And I can recommend it.” Elrond was about to return to his correspondence, but then looked at Erestor from over his shoulder. “Before I forget…The twins request your presence tomorrow evening.”

“My presence? Why?”

“It is their begetting day tomorrow and they expect gifts, surprises and more importantly a hug. You have to make up for many years, Erestor.”

Erestor groaned, softly. When and why had his life become so complicated?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor, will you have dinner with me tonight? Dinner will be served in my rooms at sunset. I hope you will accept this invitation.

Glorfindel

Erestor stared at the words, written on the highest quality paper with Glorfindel’s typical elegant handwriting. Even if the warrior hadn’t signed the letter, he would have known who had written it. /Have dinner with you?/ The mere thought made him panic. /Or do you hope that something else will happen, besides dinner?/ Was he ready to date again?

He sat down on his bed, still clutching the paper between his fingers. Glorfindel had told him he liked him and the kiss had been full of sweet promises. When he had discussed this with Elrond, the half-Elf had inquired if he was solely attracted to females. Until Glorfindel had kissed him he had thought so, but now he wasn’t certain any more. He had always liked the blond warrior, but fear had urged him to keep him at a distance. The fear of losing Glorfindel, the twins, Elrond or even Celebrían to death still existed.  But Elladan and Elrohir had made sure he couldn’t go back to pretending he didn’t care.

“Erestor?”

Erestor looked up at hearing one of the twins’ voices. He rose from the bed and opened the door. “What is the matter, little one?” Looking at the Elfling, he wondered if he was dealing with Elladan or Elrohir. It was hard to tell them apart at times.

“Uncle Glorfindel swore me to secre…secre… what?”

“Secrecy,” finished Erestor for the Elfling.

The Elfling smiled sweetly at him and then uncovered the long red-stemmed rose he had kept hidden behind his back. “Uncle Glorfindel wants you to have this.”

“And he sent you?” Erestor picked the Elfling up and carried him inside. “Where is your twin?”

“Elladan is with uncle Glorfindel. They are playing hide and seek.”

Ah, he was dealing with Elrohir then! Erestor accepted the rose and placed it on the desk. “What else did Glorfindel say?” Elrohir’s not so innocent smile warned him there was more to come.

“He said he wanted to do more kissing.” Elrohir giggled uncontrollably. “Nana and Adar kiss too and they like it. Do you like kissing Glorfindel?”

Unguarded in his reactions, Erestor admitted the truth. “I do, but do not tell him.”

“Why?” Elrohir cocked his head, curiously.

“Because I do not want him to know yet.”

“I do not understand,” said Elrohir, pouting, and looking disappointed.

“You will, once you are older.”

Elrohir gave Erestor an odd look. “Will you kiss him again?”

“I might.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor had taken great care in dressing himself. He had chosen a dark green robe, lined with silver and had brushed his hair until it shone like silk. It now danced loose against the small of his back. Looking at his reflection, he hoped Glorfindel would find his appearance pleasing.

“Who am I trying to fool?” he said aloud, his head slumping forward. He hadn’t felt attractive for a very long time and seriously doubted the way he looked or dressed made any difference.

What did he expect from this dinner? Maybe another kiss? He blushed, remembering the soft and sweet feel of Glorfindel’s lips pressed against his. The kiss had been unexpected, but perfect. “Why me? Why does he like me? What is there to like about me? I always treated him…” He regretted treating Glorfindel so distant and cold in the past.

Forcing himself to keep his head held high, he left his rooms and ignored the curious looks several of the servants gave him. After what seemed to take forever, he finally arrived at Glorfindel’s quarters. His hand remained poised in mid-air, wondering what he was doing here.

The door opened and Glorfindel appeared in the doorway, looking nervous, and shy. “I was not sure you would come.” The truth was that he had been checking the corridor every five minutes. “You are a vision, Erestor. Please come inside.”

Erestor blushed and timidly stepped inside. The door closed behind him and his heart missed a beat. He felt trapped – cornered even.

“I hope you are hungry. The cooks outdid themselves.” Glorfindel raised a hand and gestured for Erestor to follow him toward the table. His hands itched, wanting to bury themselves in the long, silken hair. It was obvious that Erestor had taken great care when selecting his robes and he appreciated the effort. “Erestor, would you look at me?” Ever since Erestor had arrived, the dark-haired Elf had refused to meet his eyes. “Please?”

Erestor coyly sought out Glorfindel’s eyes. “I am nervous,” he forced out. “It has been ages since…”

“It is the same for me,” said Glorfindel reassuringly. “And remember, we are only having dinner. Nothing else needs to happen tonight.”

Glorfindel’s reassurance calmed Erestor and he finally felt comfortable enough to take in the blond’s appearance. Glorfindel wore a blue shirt, black leggings, knee-high boots and midnight-blue ribbons in his hair. “I like the way you look too,” said Erestor, shyly.

Glorfindel blushed; my, this could become awkward with both of them feeling nervous. “Did Elrohir give you the rose?”

“He did. I left it in my room… on my bed.” Erestor’s blush equaled Glorfindel’s. “I must apologize… I do not have much experience when it comes down to courtship.”

“As far as I can tell, you are doing perfectly.” Glorfindel gently took hold of Erestor’s arm and escorted him to his chair. After Erestor had seated himself, Glorfindel sat down himself, offering the dark-haired Elf some fruits. “I am nervous myself, Erestor. These last few millennia I wondered how I could possibly fall in love with someone as distant and aloof as you and then, a few weeks ago, I realized it was all an act.”

Erestor nibbled on a slice of apple. Putting it down, he looked into Glorfindel’s eyes. “It was my way of keeping myself from being hurt again. When Medlin and Nínim died I vowed to never let anyone close again.”

Glorfindel poured Erestor a sweet, dry wine, which Elrond had brought with him from Lothlórien. “Erestor, please be honest with me and tell me if I have a chance to win your love.”

Erestor nervously moistened his lips. “I have been asking myself that question since you invited me for dinner and I do not know the answer to that question.” Erestor gazed deeply into Glorfindel’s azure eyes. “I find you attractive, intelligent, witty and pleasant company.”

“What about my kiss? Did you enjoy me kissing you?” Unable to stay seated any longer, Glorfindel got to his feet and covered the distance between them. Sitting down on the table, he gathered one of Erestor’s clammy hands in his. “I would like to kiss you again, but only if you are agreeable to that.”

“Glorfindel, I… Your lips taste sweet and the kiss was perfect, but I am not certain we should kiss again.”

“Why is that?” Looking crestfallen, Glorfindel moved closer. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Nay, your kiss was perfection, but… I do not know if I can give you my heart.”

Glorfindel sharply sucked his breath in. “If you could, would you entrust it to me?”

“Would you keep it safe for all eternity?” Erestor was acting purely on instincts, and wondered what possessed him to ask Glorfindel such a question.

“I would.” Glorfindel pulled Erestor’s chair closer toward him and rested his hands on either side of the advisor’s head. “I love you, and I would rather die myself than let anyone hurt you.”

“This is rather unexpected. I had no idea you felt that deeply about me. Only since this morn, I…”

“You do not have to decide now, Erestor. I am not asking you to marry me. I merely desire to kiss you.” Glorfindel knew Erestor was getting ahead of himself and forced them to slow down. “I am not talking of eternal commitment – yet. We should take this step-by-step.”

“And kissing me would be the next step?” asked Erestor, breathlessly. He *had* enjoyed Glorfindel kissing him in the nursery.

Instead of verbally answering Erestor, Glorfindel leaned in closer and kissed him. He snaked one arm behind Erestor’s back so he could pull the other Elf close and buried his fingers in the silken mane. Moaning contentedly, he took his time kissing Erestor, and was absolutely delighted to find the lips opening and teeth parting in invitation. Slowly, he slid his tongue inside in search of its counterpart. A sensual duel started and before he knew it, Glorfindel was sliding toward Erestor, ending up straddling the dark-haired Elf’s hips.

Erestor lost all concept of time, and surrendered to the sweet kiss, which demanded he gave everything he was, not allowing him to keep himself back. Never before had he been kissed in this way, and although Medlin’s kisses had been sweet and soft, this one was demanding and slightly rougher. It was unmistakably a male kissing him, and to his surprise, his toes curled.

Glorfindel eventually broke the kiss, panting slightly. “That was…”

Erestor moistened his lips, smiled sweetly, and inquired, “Did you find kissing me pleasurable?”

“Oh, you know I did!” Glorfindel chuckled softly, but then sobered again. “Erestor, does this mean you will allow me to court you?”

“I think it does. *If* you will have me.”

“Have you?” repeated Glorfindel in an adoring voice. “To have and hold – forever, my love.”

Erestor blushed then. “In that case I will allow you to court me.”

Glorfindel smiled, victoriously. “Thank you, Erestor. I vow you will never regret that decision.”

“Just do not die on me,” said Erestor in an unexpected serious tone.

“Do not worry about that.” Glorfindel tenderly caressed Erestor’s face. “And even if I die, always remember I returned from the Halls of Waiting before. I can do it again – for you.”

Erestor shivered and hoped that Glorfindel would never have to prove those words.

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Many thanks to SayAye for the gorgeous piccie!