Title: Coming Home

Author: Morgana  ---  morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor and Elrond/Celebrían and Elladan/Elrohir (implied)

Rating; nc-17

Summary; Imladris’ newest addition proves to be a handful and quite a mystery.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, angst, mention of physical abuse.

Author’s Note: All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

Beta read by Lady Mirfain, thanks!

Coming Home

Part 11

Erestor woke in a strong embrace with Glorfindel spooned behind him. Last night, they had shed their clothes and gone to sleep naked for the first time ever. It had helped soothe his nerves and Erestor had been amazed to learn just how satisfying it was to sleep skin against skin. He loved the feeling of Glorfindel’s muscular body pressed against his and wouldn’t allow anymore clothes into their bed from this moment on. “Glorfindel? I want to follow your advice and be more sociable. Where do you normally have breakfast?”

“Breakfast?” Glorfindel blinked once, wondering where this change of attitude was coming from. “I would normally have breakfast in the main hall, with Elrond and his family.” But he wasn’t certain that was a good idea right now, considering the secret that lingered between Erestor and the Peredhil family. “Do you want to join them today?”

“I have been thinking about the things you said and you are right. I should become more comfortable around people. I want to stop shaking whenever Lord Elrond stares at me, or when his wife touches me. I don’t want to act in such an insecure manner.”

/*Lord* Elrond,/ registered Glorfindel. /I am certain Elrond told him to stop using that title, but Erestor still feels intimated./ Glorfindel pulled his lover atop of his body until his dark-haired lover straddled his hips. “Does he scare you?”

“Lord Elrond?” Erestor shrugged, halfheartedly. “Sometimes. I can sense how much power he wields in this valley and I am scared I will make a mistake that will anger him.”

Glorfindel placed his hands on Erestor’s hips and stared into the dark eyes. “He is a friend, Erestor. He means well.”

“I know that.” Erestor bowed his head. “It isn’t his fault. It is mine. I am not used to dealing with such powerful Elves.”

“Oh, Erestor!” Glorfindel brought his arms up behind Erestor’s back and pulled him down until the still too bony body covered his. Stroking the raven hair, he wondered if his lover’s feelings of inferiority would ever go away. /Maybe having breakfast in the main hall with Elrond isn’t such a bad idea after all. It will allow them to get to know each other better. They need to spend time together and become more at ease around each other./

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond felt restless and had little appetite, so he pushed his eggs around on his plate, and ignored the other food items the cook had prepared. He was lost in thought and his gaze brooding; not even his wife or his children managed to break through the gloomy mood that had taken possession of him.

Celebrían, seated next to her husband, hoped Erestor would find out shortly, for she hated seeing her husband this despondent. Elrond was more than ready to try being a father to Erestor – and even if Erestor didn’t want a father in his life any more, Elrond was more than willing to be a good friend.

The twins tried to cheer their father up, but Elrond didn’t react to their bantering. Elladan and Elrohir even forgave their parents for forgetting that it was their begetting day, knowing how much they worried about Erestor.

Arwen gathered Elrohir’s hand in her right and then reached for Elladan’s, squeezing it and whispering her best wishes on this special day. Elrond and Celebrían didn’t seem to register Arwen’s words, though. “They will feel guilty once they realize they forgot.”

Elladan and Elrohir shrugged, simultaneously. They celebrated their begetting day each year, so they didn’t hold it against their parents that they were too worried to celebrate today as well.

The twins had spent last night at the riverside and had even fallen asleep there. They had returned home in the morning, after Arien had risen and Elladan had to admit things had changed for the better between them. It had been centuries since he had last felt this close to his twin.

“I wonder if Erestor already knows…” Unable to keep his worries inside much longer, Elrond looked at this wife, hoping she knew what to do.

“Glorfindel told you to let Erestor decide,” summarized Celebrían. “And you decided to follow his advice, so… there is little you can do.”

“It vexes me that I can do nothing but wait!” Elrond gave his children an apologetic look.

“We understand,” replied Elrohir, speaking for the three of them. “We know this is hard on you.” To say they knew *how* hard it was on their father would be lying, because they couldn’t put themselves in Elrond’s position. But they could try.

Glorfindel cleared his throat in the hope of attracting Elrond’s attention. “Good morning. Erestor and I decided to join you today.”

Elrond’s eyes revealed panic, finding Glorfindel entering the room. A few steps behind him followed Erestor, nervously shuffling his feet. Big-eyed, Elrond stared at Glorfindel. /Does Erestor know?/

Glorfindel correctly interpret the five glances cast into his direction and he marginally shook his head. /Nay./

Elrond didn’t know if he should feel relieved or not, now that Erestor didn’t know. He *did* know that he felt slightly disappointed, because he still couldn’t bury his newest son in a hug. Just to make sure, Elrond raised an eyebrow. /He didn’t ask yet?/

Glorfindel shook his head for a second time. /He doesn’t know./

The silent communication wasn’t lost on Celebrían, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen, and they reached the right conclusion as well. Erestor didn’t know yet that he was part of this family.

Suddenly Erestor got cold feet. This was very much a family affair and he was intruding. He was a guest at best, and certainly not someone who should be allowed to join the family table. “I am sorry… I didn’t think this through…” He was about to turn around and flee the room when Elrond’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

“Please don’t leave, Erestor. We are delighted to have you join us. Please sit down.” Elrond’s heart thundered, realizing how hard it had been on Erestor to take this step. He knew only too well how shy and easily intimidated the younger half-Elf was -- coming had taken a great deal of courage on Erestor’s part.

“My husband speaks wisely,” said Celebrían, quickly rising to her feet after seeing Elrond jump up. “We would be honored to have you.”

Erestor warily looked over his shoulder at the couple. Elrond and Celebrían looked eager for him to stay and join them, but he still wasn’t certain he wasn’t imposing.

“Come with me,” said Glorfindel, assuming control of the situation by taking hold of Erestor’s hand and leading him to the table. “Sit down.”

Erestor obeyed, very much aware of the tension that had suddenly risen in the room. The twins were giving him curious looks and Arwen flashed him a beatific smile. Something odd was at work here.

Glorfindel piled scrambled eggs, meats, and bread onto Erestor’s plate, whilst he filed his own with fruits and cheese.

Erestor’s eyes grew big, seeing the large amount of food that Glorfindel wanted him to eat.

“You need to eat, Erestor. You need to gain the extra weight. You are much too skinny.” Glorfindel placed the plate in front of Erestor and gestured for his lover to start eating.

Erestor sighed, picked up the fork, and tried to eat as much as possible. In the meantime, one of the servants poured him tea and also placed a glass of water next to his plate. He was painfully aware of the silence that had descended onto the room the moment he had entered. He *was* imposing, no matter what they said!

Elrond felt nervous and the silence was only adding to his edginess. “I want you to walk with me to the healing wing after finishing breakfast, Erestor. Hopefully we can do away with those bandages today.”

“But you will want to examine me first,” said Erestor, trying to contribute to the conversation.

“Of course!” Elrond managed a warm smile, looking at Erestor. /This is my son – my firstborn. My son found his way here. The Valar must have guided him./

Elrohir, eager to do away with the tension as well, addressed Glorfindel. “Will you join us on the training grounds today?”

“I will.” That would give Elrond and Erestor some time alone, he hoped. That was, if Arwen and Celebrían allowed it and wouldn’t get involved.

“It promises to be a nice autumn day,” said Celebrían. “Arwen, would you like to join me in the drawing room? Maybe we can catch the first autumn colors on canvas.”

Arwen smiled and nodded her consent, realizing what was going on. She agreed that it was important that her father and Erestor talked.

“That is decided, then! Erestor, it looks like you are stuck with me for most of the morning.” Elrond didn’t mind one bit – he was actually quite pleased to have Erestor to himself for some hours. Maybe a chance to discuss their past would come up. Oh, he wanted to tell Erestor so badly! After that, they could start to work on their newly-found relationship! He was eager to make amends for his past mistakes.

Erestor wasn’t certain what to think of this development. He would rather have spent the morning with Glorfindel, but he *had* promised himself to become more sociable. “We will manage,” he said, eventually, lost for words. He gave Elrond a weak smile and was amazed to see a warm glow appear in the gray eyes. Apparently, Elrond had taken a liking to him, which should please him, but he still had a hard time trusting. Glorfindel was the sole exception so far. /Maybe I can learn to trust Elrond as well./ The least he could do, was try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sit,” said Elrond in a friendly voice, whilst gathering a pair of scissors to cut away the bandages from Erestor’s shoulder. “Does your shoulder still hamper you?”

“Not much,” replied Erestor. He hadn’t been in the healing wing yet and curiously watched the healers moving about, wandering below herbs, which had been hung to dry. A peaceful calm echoed through these rooms, making him feel at home. “My arm still troubles me somewhat, but the discomfort is bearable. Does the healing pace still displease you?”

Elrond peeled Erestor’s shirt away and carefully examined the injury. Each time he touched Erestor he was painfully aware of the fact that it was his son who was hurting, and he wanted nothing more than to pull Erestor into his arms and hold him. “I am worried, Erestor. Your injuries take a long time to heal.” At least he knew why now. He cautiously cut the bandages away and peeled the fabric from Erestor’s shoulder.

Erestor bit his bottom lip and managed to hold the groan back that threatened to flee his lips. The bandages had been a source of support and he now had to do without them.

“Tell me if it hurts,” ordered Elrond, manipulating the joint to see if the dislocated shoulder had fully healed.

There was some discomfort, but no pain, so Erestor remained silent.

Elrond’s fingertips examined the shoulder, coming across scars which he hadn’t noticed before. “What caused these?”

“The beatings… They sometimes used… objects… to beat me with.” Erestor really didn’t want to talk about this.

Elrond’s heart missed a beat and his hands trembled ever so slightly. “I am so sorry you had to suffer so much.” He felt like he had failed his son – and he had.

“It is in the past,” said Erestor. “I want to live in the present.”

“You are a very brave soul,” whispered Elrond – his heart aching for his son. Attending to Erestor’s arm, he checked on the second injury. “The bone hasn’t set yet. The bandages need to remain in place and you will have to continue to use the sling.”

“But the bandages around my shoulder can stay off?” Erestor shifted on his chair and peeked at Elrond, who stood to his right. He was amazed to see a tear slide down the Elf-Lord’s cheek. Why was Elrond crying? And was he supposed to address it?

Elrond tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but Erestor had seen, and Elrond wasn’t certain if his son would let it go. It was time for a distraction. “I will check on your arm in another four days and I want you to favor your shoulder for the next few days. Erestor… You may leave now.”

Thinking that Elrond wanted a moment of privacy, Erestor rose to his feet. He bowed and made his way over to the doorway. “Thank you,” he said, softly, respecting Elrond’s wish to be alone. Stepping into the corridor, he wondered what had upset the Elf-Lord.

Elrond wrapped his arms around his waist and bowed his head in surrender. “I cannot take much more of this. Please, Glorfindel, tell him!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Glorfindel, may I have a word with you?” Erestor felt self-conscious amidst the guards, who were eying him curiously.

Glorfindel, who was sparring with Elladan, gave the half-Elf an apologetic look.

“Go,” said Elladan. “I will seek out my twin instead. It has been a while since he and I sparred.” Elrohir always seemed determined to find someone else to spar with.

“Thank you, Elladan.” Glorfindel sheathed his sword and hurried over to Erestor. The first thing he noticed was the nervous expression in the large eyes. Something had upset Erestor. “Walk with me, love.”

Erestor fell into pace beside Glorfindel and wanted nothing more than to gather the warrior’s hand in his, but felt eyes upon them, and he didn’t want to embarrass Glorfindel. So, he didn’t. However, he did sneak several admiring looks at his lover’s torso, which glittered with sweat, enhancing the nice muscle tone.

“Did you see Elrond yet?” Glorfindel inquired, uncertain what had upset Erestor.

“I did… And he removed the bandages around my shoulder.”

“And your arm?”

“He wants those bandages to stay in place for another four days.” Erestor looked over his shoulder and found they were out of sight of the training guards. Feeling a bit more at ease, Erestor gathered Glorfindel’s hand in his. “How well do you know Lord Elrond?”

“I have known him for millennia. He doesn’t keep many secrets from me.”

Erestor swallowed hard and gazed deeply into his lover’s azure eyes. “He was crying.”

“Crying?” Glorfindel felt alarmed.

“Well, not really, but… his eyes were swimming and a tear left them. I was wondering if something has happened to upset him.” Erestor lowered his eyes and stared at the grass. “I hope it has nothing to do with me.”

“Why would you think that?” Glorfindel pulled his lover close, hugging him.

“He inquired about the scars on my back.”

“I noticed them as well.” But he hadn’t inquired about them, thinking such a question would make Erestor uncomfortable.

“I told him that they beat me with objects… They used sticks… branches… Sometimes even a chain.”

Glorfindel hugged his lover close, and showered the raven hair with tiny kisses. Glorfindel made his decision right there and then. “I want you to seek out Elrond and to talk to him. Ask him why he shed that tear.”

“I cannot do that!” Erestor shook his head in bewilderment. “I cannot impose on him like that! I cannot pry on his feelings!”

“You must! Promise me that you will do this.”

“Promise you? Why is this so important to you?” Glorfindel’s request puzzled him.

“Trust me in this matter, my love.” Glorfindel touched his lips to Erestor's, kissing him. “Do it – for me.”

“I will, but only because this is so important to you,” promised Erestor, but he felt edgy, wondering why Glorfindel insisted he talked to Elrond. /I will keep my promise – for you, Glorfindel. I will seek out Elrond and talk to him./ But he did worry about the outcome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Elrohir! Are you avoiding me?” Elladan spoke the words in a joking tone, but when he saw his twin’s startled expression, his eyes widened. “Please leave us alone,” he said, addressing the guard Elrohir had been sparring with. “I must speak with my brother in private.” The guard took his leave, and Elladan approached his twin, frowning. “Is this about our begetting day?”

Elrohir felt immensely relieved; for one moment he had been terrified that his twin had guessed the truth. Grateful that Elladan had already drawn his own conclusions about his elusive behavior, he nodded.

“What *was* your ‘gift’ to me, dear brother?” Elladan’s eyes narrowed; he knew he was missing something, but he didn’t know what. Something was amiss with Elrohir.

Elrohir grinned, forcing himself to act unaffected. “My mare liked your handiwork and even attracted Asfaloth’s gaze, but you could have used a different color besides pink. The color doesn’t really suit her.”

Elladan inclined his head in acceptance. “I will try to remember that. Now, dear brother, tell me. What had you planned for me?” And why had Elrohir cancelled his plans?

Elrohir cleared his throat and turned a nice shade of crimson. “If you had retired to your rooms last night instead of marching off to the Bruinen you would have found said gift in your bed.”

“In my bed?” Elladan scooted closer. Their faces were just a few inches apart and he searched his brother’s worried eyes. /Why worried?/

“There is a she-Elf who fancies you and she was more than willing to warm your bed last night. Alas, you didn’t show up and she left in the morning.”

Elladan felt oddly relieved that he *had* marched for the Bruinen instead. “Why would you do that?”

Elrohir’s blush deepened. “I thought you were lonely and… She is lovely. You would like her – who knows, maybe you would even have fallen in love with her.”

Elladan coughed; ah, there was no way to say this tactfully! “Elrohir, dear brother… Don’t you know I am not attracted to females? Aye, they are lovely, enchanting beings, but I do not desire them and my body doesn’t react to their advances. Surely, you know this… Don’t you feel the same? After all, we *are* twins! Or, *do* you fancy females?”

Elladan’s bold words left Elrohir speechless. He had never thought his brother would call him on this! “I…I…”

“Be honest, brother. You fancy males as well.” It was only natural Elrohir would, considering they were twins.

“Maybe I do,” admitted Elrohir. Elladan surprised him by grabbing hold of him and hugging him close.

“We are twins, silly! We are the same in every way! I bet we even like the same type… Dark hair, gray eyes, delicate bone structure, excellent sense of humor…”

Elrohir’s heart momentarily stopped beating. His eyes widened in shock; Elladan hadn’t said that, had he? Elladan had just described him!

“Hahaha! The look on your face is quite something!” Elladan clasped his twin’s shoulder and laughed.

Elrohir tensed; his heart, already fragile and beating slowly, almost didn’t find its normal rhythm again. For one moment he had thought Elladan had been serious! But no, his brother had made fun of him! /He has no idea just how much he has hurt me!/ But Elrohir clung to the conviction that Elladan’s harsh words would help him maintain his distance. No matter what happened, Elladan could never find out that his brother loved him in that way!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor drew in a deep, steadying breath and knocked on the door to Elrond’s study, reminding himself that he was doing this because he had promised Glorfindel he would. He would rather not face Elrond this quickly, and would have preferred for the Elf-Lord to have some peace and privacy.

“Enter.”

Erestor nodded once; he could do this. He had to do this! He had promised his lover. Slowly, he pushed the door ajar. “My Lord, it is I…”

Elrond tensed, seeing Erestor this unexpectedly. His son’s earlier confession that he had been beaten so sadistically had unnerved him. “There is no reason to address me in that manner, Erestor. To you, I am Elrond, and not the ruler of this valley.” Hearing Erestor call him ‘my Lord’, hurt. He wanted Erestor to address him as his father instead!

“I will do my best not to address you like that any longer, my… Elrond. Am I disturbing you? I can come back later.” Erestor stood in the doorway, feeling uncertain and hesitant.

“You aren’t disturbing me.” Elrond got to his feet, left his desk, and headed for the pair of comfortable chairs near the fire place. Autumn had brought a chill into the lands and today was the first day that his assistant had started a fire to warm the rooms. “Sit with me.”

Erestor seated himself, making himself as small as possible. Although Elrond had always treated him kindly, he still felt self-conscious around the mighty Elf-Lord.

Elrond sat down as well and poured them some of Imladris’ finest wine. He offered Erestor a glass and then curled his fingers tightly around his own goblet. “You are always welcome to visit with me, Erestor.”

“I don’t feel comfortable coming here… I feel like I am wasting your time – and as if I am intruding.”

Elrond’s large, gray eyes filled with tears once more. “You could never waste my time.” Dazed, he realized that another tear had escaped his eye.

Erestor sipped and the wine gave him the courage he needed to address Elrond. “Why are you crying? You were also crying earlier when you attended to my injuries.”

Cold sweat erupted from Elrond’s every pore. He had promised Glorfindel not to tell Erestor, but found he couldn’t keep his secret any longer. The truth needed a way out. “I am crying because I am hurting.”

“Why?” Erestor was surprised that Elrond had answered him in the first place. He hadn’t thought the mighty Elf-Lord would want to confide in him. Elrond looked like he was about to burst into tears and Erestor reacted by placing his hand on Elrond’s and holding it in an attempt to show his support.

That touch meant the world to him. Elrond just hoped Erestor wouldn’t pull away from him in loathing once his son knew the truth. “I am hurting because I made grave mistakes in the past.”

“Mistakes?” Erestor felt confused and watched Elrond nervously sip his wine. He squeezed Elrond’s hand, trying to assure him of his support.

“I loved a female once – for one night. It wasn’t about passion… it was about comfort. We had both lost someone very important to us and were in need of a reassuring touch.” Elrond knew there was no way out now, neither did he want to crawl back. “I made love to her, and after that night, our ways parted. I journeyed to Imladris, whilst she remained in Ereinion’s camp a little longer.” Seeing his son’s large eyes, he added. “Aye, we lost our High-King that night and we grieved… together. She was hurting as much as I was… She was Ereinion’s niece and his confident.”

“I am sorry for your loss.”

“It happened millennia ago, but at the time it hurt tremendously.” Elrond returned the squeeze and held onto his son’s hand. Erestor’s compassionate expression gave him the strength to continue. “What I didn’t know was that she had conceived that night and that she gave birth to my son later. I never knew he existed.”

Erestor – still completely unaware to why Elrond was telling him something so personal – gave Elrond a look filled with sympathy.

“Years later, she was murdered and her son disappeared. I heard about her death and mourned her passing, but no one ever told me there was a son!” Elrond placed his goblet aside and took hold of Erestor’s glass, only to place it on the side table as well. Gathering Erestor’s hands in his, he said, “I didn’t know. If only I had known!”

“Why are you telling me this?” The raging emotions, visible in Elrond’s eyes, worried him, even made him feel scared for the Elf-Lord’s sanity.

“Because that female was Yestarë and that boy… that boy was you… You are my son, Erestor.”

Next