Title: Coming Home

Author: Morgana  ---  morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor and Elrond/Celebrían and Elladan/Elrohir (implied)

Summary; Imladris’ newest addition proves to be a handful and quite a mystery.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, angst, mention of physical abuse.

Author’s Note: All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

Beta read by Lady Mirfain, thanks!

Coming Home

Part 12

He must have misheard! Elrond couldn't have said *that*!

Seeing the shock in Erestor’s large eyes, Elrond rubbed his son’s cool fingers between his. “I didn’t know how to tell you. When Glorfindel and I realized the truth I became scared.”

“Scared? Why?” Erestor blinked and shook his head once. Elrond was his sire? Surely, this couldn’t be?

“Scared that you would reject me. Erestor, you are the true victim here. You suffered terribly because your mother and I never discussed that night. A large part of the blame rests on me; I should have stayed in touch with Yestarë. Instead, I chose to concentrate on wooing and marrying Celebrían.”

Erestor still hadn’t *fully* registered Elrond’s words, but did manage a question. “If you had known about me, would that have made a difference?”

Elrond heard what Erestor was *really* asking him. “Of course! I would have offered to marry your mother! And even if she had rejected me, for whatever reason, I would have wanted to be a father to you! When we talked in the healing house earlier and you told me about those beatings… I… I could have stopped all that from happening, if only I had known about you. I don’t know why Yestarë decided not to tell me, or told you that your sire didn’t want you, but it isn’t true. I would have accepted you into my arms, my son. You are my firstborn, Erestor.”

“Continue talking…” Erestor needed a moment to compose himself!

“Erestor, your mother was Ereinion’s niece; that means that you are of the royal bloodline.” Elrond found courage and hope in the fact that Erestor was still listening to him and hadn’t pushed him away – yet.

“I am related to the High-King?” Erestor’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Erestor, you are precious to me for many reasons and that is only one of them. I would pledge my allegiance to you in a heartbeat, but you are *most* precious to me because you are *my* son. My firstborn.” Elrond’s throat had gone dry now that he had said everything he had wanted to say. Now, it was Erestor’s turn to speak.

“Why are you making this up, my Lord?” Anger glittered in Erestor’s dark eyes. “I appreciate the fact that you are trying to make me feel wanted, but I know the truth; you are *not* my father!” The idea that someone as noble and wise as Elrond was his sire struck him as completely unbelievable.

Elrond had half expected those words and removed his wedding band. “Look at the inside of the ring and tell me what you see.”

Erestor’s hands trembled, accepting the ring onto the palm of his hand. He drew in a deep breath and then did what Elrond had asked of him. His breathing paused, finding the same bird engraved in the metal. “But…”

“My family history is somewhat… hard to believe,” said Elrond. “My mother – your grandmother – Elwing was attacked because she guarded a very precious item called a Silmaril. She tried to flee, but her attackers wouldn’t let her, so the Valar changed her into a bird. Because of this transformation she managed to escape. She carried the Silmaril in her beak. Now, doesn’t this resemble your ring?” Elrond pointed at the ring on Erestor’s finger.

Erestor shook his head – still unable to believe he could actually have such a noble heritage. “There are stars on my ring too. They aren’t present on yours.”

Elrond nodded. “That ring was a gift. A gift from Ereinion to me and he added the nine stars.”

“This cannot be!” Erestor pleadingly stared into Elrond’s eyes. “You cannot be my father.”

“Why? Didn’t I just prove this to you?” Erestor’s reaction surprised Elrond, who had expected anger, frustration, even glares filled with hatred, but not disbelief! “I am your father, Erestor.”

“Nay, this cannot be…”

“Why? Why are you so determined not to believe me?” Erestor’s fingers shook amidst his hands and Elrond rubbed them harder, trying to warm them up. His son was in some sort of shock and he had to find a way to connect with Erestor.

“That would mean my mother lied to me when she told me my father didn’t want me,” whispered Erestor, brokenly.

“I am certain that your mother thought that telling you that was for the best.” Elrond had no intention of putting the blame on Erestor’s dead mother – his one-night-lover. “She found herself with child, but with no husband. She did the best she could and I am certain she loved you. She was a very kind, good-hearted person.”

Erestor swallowed. “Nay, you are lying. I cannot be your son! Look at me! I lived as a slave for millennia! I tremble in your presence and I am afraid to address someone because I fear their reaction! I am no son of yours! I am not like Elladan and Elrohir! I would only disappoint you!”

/Ah, so that is why you are so determined to fight this!/ Elrond managed to capture Erestor’s gaze and continued to rub his son’s shaky fingers. “Don’t compare yourself to the twins, Erestor. Their upbringing was hugely different from yours. They wanted for nothing, were loved and nurtured, whilst you had to fend for yourself. You were trying hard to survive, whilst my wife and I pampered Elladan and Elrohir. Do you have any idea just how strong you are to have survived? To have escaped? Do you have any idea how much love – admiration even! – I feel for you?”

Speechless, Erestor clung to Elrond’s every word. He *so* wanted to believe the elder half-Elf!

“Erestor, I wish I had been there for you in the past. I wish I had been there when those Orcs and villagers attacked. I wish I had saved you and taken you home to Imladris. But that is wishful thinking.” Elrond desperately searched for the right words, which would reach his son and convince Erestor of his sincerity. “I cannot change the past, but I would, were it within my power. Erestor, the past is lost to us, but we still have the present and the future.”

“Do you want me in your life, then?” Erestor still had a hard time trying to accept the fact that *Lord* Elrond was his father!

“Of course!” Exasperated, Elrond sighed. “You are part of my family! I want you to stay, Erestor. I want to get to know you better and build a relationship with you.”

“But… the Lady Celebrían? And your children? Surely they don’t know the truth?

Elrond cleared his throat and stared deeply into his son’s dazed eyes. “They already know the truth. I told them after Glorfindel and I found out.”

Unable to remain seated any longer, Erestor freed his hands from Elrond’s hold. He jumped to his feet and backed away from the elder half-Elf. “They know? You told them? Oh, they must hate me!”

“Hate you?” Erestor’s reaction stunned Elrond. “Why?”

“I… am… not… You know… her son… their sibling!” Erestor nervously wrung his hands.

“Celebrían has a heart of gold, Erestor. She likes you and wants you to become a part of this family. And as far as my children go… They might need a bit longer to accept they have an older brother, but I am confident they will.” Elrond wondered what to do; to remain seated and allow Erestor to retreat from the situation or to join his son, who stared at him in complete bewilderment.

“I don’t want to be the reason for your family to fall apart. I wish you hadn’t told them!”

Erestor’s words urged Elrond into action. He rose from his chair and covered the distance between them. Resolutely, he placed his hands on Erestor’s shoulders and looked his son in the eye. “You have every right to be a part of my family, Erestor. You are my firstborn… my future heir.” Elrond knew he had said the wrong thing when Erestor released a strangled groan.

“Nay! I am *not* your heir! I am… I am… I am not worthy of such honor! The twins are your heirs – Elladan is!”

“I shouldn’t have sprung that on you,” whispered Elrond, apologetically. He quickly steered away from that subject matter and said, “Erestor, what I want the most is a chance to get to know you. To be a father to you – a friend. Will you let me? Or are you going to run the moment you leave my study?”

“I don’t know yet,” said Erestor. “My head reels.”

Elrond nodded in understanding. “You expected nothing like this when you sought me out… But Erestor, will you promise me one thing?”

“What?” Erestor looked into Elrond’s eyes – his father’s eyes!

“That you won’t leave Imladris until we have talked again?” Elrond’s grip on his son’s shoulders tightened. “Don’t run, Erestor. This was wholly unexpected. Give it time and think this over. You have a family here; a father, two half-brothers, a half-sister, and Celebrían, who will welcome you with open arms. Furthermore, you have found love here. Don’t run – this is worth staying for.” But in the end it was Erestor’s choice if he would flee or stay.

“I don’t know what to do yet. The idea that you are my father is… I cannot believe that!”

“Erestor, you are half-Elven like my other children. When it took you so long to heal I realized something was different about you. Your ears…” Elrond’s fingertips sought and found his son’s slightly round ears and caressed them. “Your ears are part of your heritage. The Elven blood is strong in you and you must have made your choice to belong to the Firstborn centuries ago. This is who you are… and now you are a part of me as well. Stay.”

“I am half-Elven?”

“Peredhil, aye, just like me. You belong here – in this valley – with us, can’t you see that?”

“It must have happened during my captivity. Being Elven was the only thing I could still be proud of so I clung to that. Is that what you meant when you said I made my choice?”

Elrond nodded once. At least Erestor was thinking about this – accepting this. “This is where you belong, Erestor. Stay and give us a chance? Please?”

“I don’t know what to say, my Lo…” Erestor stopped himself, seeing the tormented expression in his father’s eyes. “I will try not to address you in that fashion any more, but you in turn will have to be patient with me… in the time to come.” Addressing the elder half-Elf as his father was something he wasn’t yet ready for and he doubted he would be for a very long time.

All Elrond heard was ‘in the time to come’. “You will stay, then?”

Erestor lowered his eyes, unable to meet his father’s pleading gaze any longer. “I will stay… But I don’t know how to act around you… or your family.” But Glorfindel would always be at his side and support him through it all. It was that knowledge, which gave him the courage to stay.

“Thank you, Erestor. I vow that you will never regret your decision to stay, my son.” Finally speaking the words aloud made him feel liberated and Elrond carefully gathered Erestor into a loose hug, hoping his son would accept the affectionate gesture.

Erestor forced himself to stay in the embrace – after all, it was his *father* who was hugging him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor’s first thought was to run back to the training grounds so he could tell Glorfindel! The blond warrior had known Elrond was his sire and hadn’t told him! /Well, I ordered him not to. I can’t be cross with him for obeying my request./

Elrond had reluctantly let him go after that parental embrace; thankfully, his father had realized that he needed some time to himself to sort out his thoughts. His world had been turned upside down!

“Erestor?” Celebrían came across Erestor by accident and sensed his tension, seeing the dazed expression in the brown eyes. /He knows./

“My Lady.” Erestor composed himself and bowed, respectfully. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard her approach! /She knows… She knows…/ That thought made him panic.

“Did you and my husband talk?” she inquired, cautiously. She didn’t want to chase Erestor away by coming on too strong.

“Aye, we did.” Erestor lowered his eyes. “I am sorry.”

Unable to place Erestor’s reaction, she raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I can never be a part of your family, no matter what your husband says.” A pebble rested near Erestor’s right foot and he kicked it, frustrated. “I don’t want you to think that I am trying to appropriate myself a place here, unrightfully.”

“Oh, Erestor!” Celebrían quickly moved closer, not giving him a chance to move away from her. She raised his face by placing a finger beneath his chin. “I want you to hear me, Erestor. I like you. You are a good and kind soul and I am proud to have you as a son. If you want a family, you have it. Shed this self-pity, Erestor. It doesn’t suit you and it isn’t necessary.”

Gathering his courage, he searched her eyes and found her words true. “You don’t dislike me? After all, your husband bedded my mother and I was born out of wedlock…”

“Oh, Erestor! You are my husband’s son!” Celebrían opted for action and wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “I am serious, Erestor. I speak the truth. I want you to stay and to become a part of my family, for you already belong here. Don’t you understand that?”

Looking into her eyes, Erestor finally allowed himself to believe that they *did* want him here. “I would have stayed at any rate,” he said, opening up.

“Because of Glorfindel.”

“Aye, I love him. I could never leave him behind.”

Celebrían smiled, brilliantly. “Then be happy here, Erestor. With your lover *and* your family.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asfaloth immediately registered Erestor’s arrival and neighed, happily. The stallion was pleased, seeing that Erestor was improving with the day. Only his arm still seemed to trouble him and there was finally some meat on his bones – still too little, though, in Asfaloth’s opinion. Scraping his hoof across the floor, he displayed his impatience. Why was it taking Erestor so long to reach his box? The raven-haired Elf wasn’t admiring that mare, was he? He had to admit that she looked pretty, with those pink ribbons, but Erestor was supposed to like him best! Indignant, he reared.

“Oh, why must you always be so impatient!” Erestor chuckled, as he made his way over to the war horse. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

Jealous? No, he wasn’t jealous. He just wanted Erestor’s attention!

“Let me make it up to you, then. Will you let me ride you? You can decide our destination.” He trusted the stallion to be careful with him.

Asfaloth was tempted. He was eager to leave, but… what about Erestor’s arm? Gently, he nudged against Erestor’s abdomen, not wanting to get any closer to the injured arm.

“I will manage,” replied Erestor in understand. “You will have to be careful with me, but then again, you always are.”

Asfaloth nodded his head once and his body filled with energy, seeing Erestor opening the door to his box. He danced outside and then stood still, allowing his rider to mount.

Erestor grabbed hold of the white mane and swung onto the steed’s back. The first time he had done this, he had felt intimidated, but not any more. Now, he felt comfortable – protected even. “Let’s go, my friend.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“In the name of the Valar, where is he?” Glorfindel was worried. He had searched his rooms, the kitchens, and was now on his way to check the stables for Erestor. His lover was nowhere to be found and that made him anxious. Elrond had told him about the conversation the half-Elf had had with his son, and his friend had assured him that Erestor had promised to stay and not to flee, but Glorfindel still worried. What if Erestor had said so only to get out of Elrond’s study?

Entering the stables, he searched the boxes, eager to see if Asfaloth was present or not. If not, Erestor might have taken the horse for a ride.

On his way over to Asfaloth’s box, he encountered Elrohir, who was busy removing several pink ribbons from his mare’s mane. “What is this about?”

Elrohir looked at Glorfindel from over his shoulder and shrugged once. “Elladan’s annual prank.”

Glorfindel’s eyes widened, realizing what special day it was. “We forgot!”

“Don’t worry about it, Glorfindel. We understand that other matters take precedence.”

“Thank you. I am certain your parents will make amends once they realize they forgot your begetting day.” Glorfindel searched the stables and found Asfaloth’s box empty.

Elrohir followed the direction of Glorfindel’s searching glance and said, “Erestor and Asfaloth departed almost an hour ago. You should have seen Asfaloth run!”

“You saw them leave?”

“Aye, I did, but I ducked away so Erestor wouldn’t see me.” Seeing Glorfindel’s questioning expression, he explained, “I figured my father and he had talked and that Erestor wanted some privacy.” Sensing his former tutor’s fears, he walked up to the blond Captain. “I am sure they will return shortly, but if you want to go looking for them you are free to burrow my mare.”

“A mare with pink ribbons in her mane!”

Elrohir smiled, gently. “Go, take her. I know you want to search for him.” He squeezed Glorfindel’s shoulder and opened the door to his mare’s box. “Go.”

Glorfindel acted on impulse and hugged Elrohir close. “You make me very proud, Elrohir. You have grown in to a very wise and kind Elf.”

Elrohir smiled and watched Glorfindel leave. Once he was alone again, his heart felt burdened once more. “But not wise enough to stop himself from falling in love with his twin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir entered his rooms and sat down on his bed. When they had reached their majority their parents had decided that it was time for them to have separate rooms and Elrohir had chosen these chambers as his new home. At the time, he had felt disappointed and frustrated that their parents wanted them to have separate rooms, but now he felt grateful. For now he didn’t have to keep up the pretence and he could cry softly.

“Elrohir?” Elladan stepped into the door and closed the connecting door behind him. He was stunned to see Elrohir crying, his twin’s head deeply buried and hidden within his hands. Worried, he quickly made his way over to the bed and sat down, folding an arm around his twin’s shoulder. “What troubles you? You know you can tell me.”

/I wish I could, but I can’t! Not you! Never you!/ Elrohir desperately tried to compose himself, as he didn’t want Elladan to grow even more worried. For then the questions would start for real. Elladan wouldn’t let loose until he knew what had upset him. “It is nothing.”

“That is a lie. It is not like you to behave like this over nothing.” Elladan pulled his twin close and guided Elrohir’s head against his shoulder. “I think I know what is amiss.” The way Elrohir tensed in his arms alarmed him.

“What?”

“Is this about our conversation earlier? The way I made fun of you?” Elladan felt guilty for having been so cruel to his brother. “You *do* know that you are the most handsome half-Elf on Arda? Well, except for me that is,” he added, teasingly, hoping to break the tension between them. “I was cruel toward you and I am sorry for that. I didn’t think before speaking those words.”

Aye, it *was* true. Elladan’s words had hurt him, but that wasn’t the reason why he was crying. But for their sanity’s sake he would let Elladan think that his brother had reached the correct conclusion. “I forgive you, Elladan.”

Elladan sighed. Until now, he hadn’t been certain it had been his words, which had hurt his twin. “You should whack me, whenever I say something that stupid. Don’t you know that you are the intelligent one?”

Elrohir wiped at his tears and managed a smile. “So, I am the handsome *and* the intelligent one?”

Elladan’s heart beat with joy, finding that his brother’s smile had returned to his face. “I never meant to hurt you, Elrohir. I might not say this often enough, but I do love you, Elrohir. I am nothing without you.”

Elrohir rubbed his cheek against his twin’s shoulder. Those words caused a bitter pain in his heart. “I love you too, dear brother.” But he loved Elladan in a forbidden way and the truth had to remain hidden for all eternity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel felt relieved, finding Erestor and Asfaloth at the riverside. His lover had shed his house shoes and sat on ‘his’ rock, feet dangling and splashing in the water. “There you are!”

Erestor looked up, hearing Glorfindel’s voice. The moment he saw *that* expression in the expressive, blue eyes he realized he had worried his lover. “I like to come here to think.”

Glorfindel sat beside his lover and Erestor immediately moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around Erestor and played with the ends of the raven hair. “Elrond told me that the two of you finally talked.”

“Aye. Now I know why you insisted I saw him.” Erestor raised his head and searched Glorfindel’s azure eyes. “You knew.”

“You had asked me not to tell you and I couldn’t violate your trust.” Glorfindel rested his cheek on top of Erestor’s head and stared at the Bruinen. “I wanted to tell you, but you didn’t seem ready to hear the truth.”

“I am grateful you made me talk to Elrond,” admitted Erestor, cuddling closer. “I never expected that particular outcome.”

“How do you fare now?” Glorfindel rubbed Erestor’s back and held him as tight as possible without putting any pressure on his lover’s injured arm.

“I feel… at peace,” replied Erestor, eventually. “There is not much I can do besides accepting the truth.”

“Elrond and I were scared you would run.”

“That thought did cross my mind,” admitted Erestor. “But I can no longer live without you. I need you close.” Lifting his head, he lovingly looked into Glorfindel’s eyes. “You gave me so much. You accepted me the first time you saw me and you helped me in so many ways. You showed me that I could trust you – love you. You gave me everything. You gave me your heart and your love.”

“Oh, my love…” Erestor’s words made him hungry – hungry for touches, kisses and much more.

“I won’t do any less.” Erestor lifted his good hand and caressed Glorfindel’s face. “I want you to make love with me.”

“It is my greatest desire,” said Glorfindel, panting due to his beginning arousal. “But not here, love.” He didn’t have any oil on him and wanted their first time to be perfect. “Come home with me and make love with me in our bed.”

Erestor slipped a hand into place at the back of Glorfindel’s neck and pulled his lover closer for a kiss. “Aye, I want that… I want to see our love confirmed in that way. I want you, Glorfindel.”

Those words went straight to his groin and Glorfindel almost climaxed there and then. Passionately, he kissed Erestor, deepening the sensual encounter by wrapping his tongue around his lover’s. /I want you too, Erestor. I want to feel you inside of me./

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