Title: Companions.
Fandom: Babylon 5.
Parings: Marcus/ Neroon.
Summary: Marcus and Neroon need each other in order to successfully complete a mission.
Spoilers: up to the end of season 3.
Companions
Marcus clasped his hands behind his back, patiently waiting for Lennier to signal him to go inside. Delenn had summoned him and he was eager to find out why. Things had been quiet these last days, but it never stayed that way. It was only a matter of time before disturbing news reached Ranger One.
He enjoyed working for Delenn. She was determined and knew what she wanted. The Minbari respected her, even though she had been instrumental to the fall of the Grey Council. Most Minbari thought of her as Valen's chosen one, destined to lead the Minbari. That Delenn had undergone the transformation confirmed the religious caste's suspicions.
Only the Warrior Caste seemed determined to deny her claims. Marcus shivered slightly as he remembered his own encounter with Neroon, who had been determined to stop Delenn from becoming Ranger One. He'd almost died defending her. But taking on Neroon had been his personal choice. He could have handled it differently, but he'd chosen to face the Minbari warrior directly. It had felt like the only right thing to do. And he wasn't going to question his motives now that he'd survived. He'd been willing to die; possibly even eager to die, but Neroon hadn't killed him. The Minbari could have ended his life with just one blow, but hadn't. Marcus still wondered why.
His teachers at the training facility on Minbar had always taught him that Denn'Sha demanded the life of one of the combatants. Neroon's reputation had been tainted when he'd allowed a Human to live. So why had Neroon made that decision? Would he ever get his answer? Neroon had refused to discuss it when the Minbari had visited him in the Medlab. They'd exchanged superficial remarks, but every time Marcus had tried to bring up Denn'Sha, Neroon had steered the conversation away from that topic.
Now, several weeks later, his ribs had healed and all the injuries were gone. Yet, he still wondered about his unanswered question. It returned to haunt him at odd times. He knew he should be dead, but for some elusive reason Neroon had spared him.
"Marcus? Delenn will see you now," Lennier said in a friendly tone and gestured his friend to enter Delenn's personal quarters. "And no, I have no idea what this is about," Lennier added, seeing Marcus' puzzled expression.
"Ah, Lennier, you wouldn't tell me even if you did know!" Marcus knew with certainty.
"You are right, of course." Lennier bowed slightly as he left Marcus alone.
"Minbari!" Marcus sighed exasperated. Would he ever see the day when they'd speak the truth? "I doubt it!" he muttered softly.
Delenn smiled as Marcus entered her private quarters. "Marcus, my friend, it's good to see that you have made a full recovery." She'd been angry and upset when she'd found out that Marcus had risked his life to stop Neroon. The realization that the Ranger was willing to die for her had illustrated her importance to the Rangers. They *would* die for her.
"Entil'Zha," Marcus greeted her and bowed respectfully. Although Delenn was a friend, she was also his superior.
"Please sit down." Delenn patted the space next to her. "I spoke with Doctor Franklin. You no longer require medical attention or check ups?"
"That's right," Marcus replied cautiously. He'd learned to read between the lines a long time ago. "Can I somehow be of service?"
"Only if you feel you are up to it, Marcus." Making this decision hadn't been easy.
"I'm ready, Entil'Zha," Marcus assured her. "We live for the One and we die for the One," he recited, displaying his willingness to serve her.
"Even if this involves Neroon?" She watched him closely, but he masked his feelings excellently.
"Even if it involves Neroon. The Rangers go where you lead them." Marcus made sure his voice sounded steady. Knowing that he'd meet Neroon again made him apprehensive for several reasons, which he didn't want to explore right now. He'd do her bidding, as he always did.
"Neroon's on his way to Babylon 5. You'll be responsible for his well-being during his stay." Delenn wished Marcus would drop his mask, so she'd know what was really going on in her Ranger's head.
"I'll secure guest quarters at once. When does he arrive?" Marcus was already making mental notes of things he had to take care of.
"In two hours. He is traveling alone, so you won't have to deal with servants or guards."
"May I ask why he's coming here?" Marcus knew she'd only tell him if he needed to know.
"The Warrior Caste is divided and Neroon is concerned that Shakiri will lead them into civil war. We need to confer to prevent further escalation." Delenn sought out Marcus' eyes. She wanted to make sure he understood. "Minbari do not kill Minbari, you know that?"
"Yes." Marcus nodded his head once. It was the one thing that had saved the Minbari civilisation from civil war on several occasions.
"Neroon has received several death threats, emanating from a radical group within the Warrior Caste. This group demands we return to the old ways. They want the Grey Council back and no more Human interference in Minbari matters. The fact that Neroon has been threatened shows how far they are willing to go."
Marcus realized the predicament that Delenn and Neroon were in. They were about to form an alliance that would infuriate part of the Warrior Caste. "So he requires a bodyguard as well?"
"Yes, you know everything there is to know about Babylon 5. This is your territory. You will make sure nothing happens to him. Neroon is too valuable as an ally." Delenn placed her right hand on Marcus'. "We trust you with his life."
"Neroon knows I'm going to be his bodyguard?" Marcus raised a puzzled eyebrow. "And he accepted? He can easily defeat me and he's willing to entrust his life to me?"
Delenn smiled and quoted Neroon's words. "You never give up, Marcus. That is why you will succeed in keeping him safe." Delenn remembered the sound of the hidden admiration in Neroon's voice when he'd demanded Marcus Cole as his personal bodyguard during his stay on Babylon 5. That demand had pleased her, hoping the two races were finally gaining true understanding of each other's qualities. "Do you accept?"
"Of course I do!" Marcus felt a little indignant that she thought he would refuse such an assignment. "I'll make sure no harm will come to him."
"Then go now. You still need to prepare for his arrival. If you need help, ask Lennier." Delenn got to her feet and straightened out her gown.
Marcus knew that the conversation had come to an end and bowed, turning to leave when her voice made him pause.
"Try to win his friendship and trust, Marcus. We need his support."
"I'll do my best, Entil'Zha," Marcus promised and left her quarters. Pondering this new development he waved goodbye to Lennier and marched to the arrival area. Delenn had been right. He needed to prepare for Neroon's arrival and maybe he'd finally get his chance to talk to Neroon about what had really happened during Denn'Sha.
///
Two hours later Marcus closely scanned the new arrivals. Knowing that Neroon would take those death threats seriously, he expected the Minbari to have taken precautions. One of those could be traveling in disguise, so Marcus made sure he was clearly visible to Neroon.
A large number of Humans, Narns, Centauri and even Minbari from the Worker Caste passed by him, but so far he'd been unable to detect Neroon. He froze when a hand touched his shoulder and quickly spun around, ready to fight off a possible attacker. He recognized the dark brown eyes immediately. They'd stared back at him when they'd fought in Down below. Marcus nodded his head once to indicate he'd recognized the Minbari warrior, but refrained from speaking. They would do that in secure quarters. One never knew who was eavesdropping around here. Babylon 5's walls had eyes and ears.
"Follow me," Marcus whispered and headed for the exit.
Neroon stayed at a distance, just in case someone was monitoring the Ranger. He'd received conformation that Shakiri's spies were hiding on Babylon 5. He pushed up the collar of his Worker Caste coat and proceeded to the exit; surprised that Babylon 5's security let him pass without checking his identity. Marcus must have arranged for it. He'd never planned to return to the space station where he'd suffered his greatest humiliation. Here, he'd lost the Rangers to Delenn. He'd wanted command of the Rangers as was the Warrior Caste's right, but a Human Ranger had stopped him.
Neroon had had several revelations when he'd fought Marcus Cole, but the one that had stopped him from attacking Delenn had been that the Rangers were willing to die for her. He doubted the Rangers would die for him. Marcus had given him that insight and for that he hated and admired the Ranger at the same time. Delenn hadn't been his downfall, Marcus had.
As he followed the Ranger through the bowels of Babylon 5, he realized he had mixed feelings about coming here and seeing Marcus Cole again. For once, the Ranger looked even smaller and weaker than he remembered, but this man had stopped him. At times he didn't know what had happened during Denn'Sha. When had a fight to the death become a sparring match?
Gathering his thoughts and pushing them to the back of his mind he found that Marcus had opened a door at the end of the corridor and had now disappeared inside. A few seconds later, he slipped inside too. The door closed behind him and he pushed back his hood.
"We can talk safely here. I’ve checked the room and no one can hear us." Marcus took a step back, suddenly realizing that Neroon seemed even more intimidating than before. When he'd challenged Neroon he'd been experiencing an adrenaline rush and had never realized the strength of the Minbari whom he was taking on.
"I do not think I was followed, but Shakiri has spies here." Neroon removed his long coat. Underneath it he wore his Warrior Caste uniform. "When can I talk to Delenn?" Neroon studied Marcus and caught the slight tremble in those slender hands. Marcus had seemed confident and in control when he'd visited the Ranger in the Medlab, but that might have been due to pain medication.
"I'll arrange for a meeting, but we should probably wait for a short while. If you were followed, they'll be watching Delenn's quarters right now and they might even be tapping into the communication channels." Marcus tried to control his irrational fears. Standing this close to Neroon brought back painful memories. Neroon's only a Minbari, Marcus thought. Nothing more and nothing less. He isn't a monster and he isn't going to attack me. He didn't know exactly where this fear was coming from, but it was there and his teachers had taught him to face his fears.
Seeing the wisdom of Marcus' decision, Neroon didn't object. Feeling oddly curious, he noticed the unreadable expression in the Ranger's eyes. It was an unfamiliar mixture of fear, stubbornness and pride. It took him aback, as Marcus' eyes mirrored his own emotions. He felt proud that he'd defeated the Ranger in hand-to-hand combat, but afraid of the change that was taking place inside him. Stubbornly, he was trying to fight that change. Although Marcus' company wasn't unpleasant, he didn't require it either. But they'd been manoeuvred into a position in which they had to work together.
"I must admit to being surprised that you wanted me as your… liaison," Marcus said, wisely not using the term bodyguard. Something told him Neroon might not like hearing it phrased in that manner.
"You found me in Down below, which indicates you have sources on this space ship. You fought well, keeping Delenn safe. I trust you will show the same determination when it is I you need to defend." Even though he would always be a warrior, he also possessed diplomatic skills and wasn't reluctant to use them. He knew how to manipulate people and Marcus would die defending him because Delenn had ordered him to do so.
Marcus didn't comment on that remark, knowing very well he was being played. Neroon would have disappointed him if the Minbari hadn't tried to manipulate him. It was one game Marcus intended to win eventually.
"How much did Delenn tell you?" Neroon walked over to a sofa, taking in his temporary quarters. They weren't luxurious, but adequate to his needs.
"Only that you have received death threats because you plan to oppose Shakiri." Marcus moved a little closer and noticed the hidden object on Neroon's hip. Judging from the shape it was a collapsed pike. A Minbari warrior always kept his Denn'bok close. Was it the same pike Neroon had used to fight him? The pike that had tasted his blood?
"It is unheard of that one Minbari threatens to kill another Minbari!" Neroon stated annoyed.
Marcus carefully calculated his next move. "You were willing to kill Delenn to gain command over the Rangers."
Neroon locked eyes with Marcus, challenging him to look away, but Marcus stood his ground. Impressed, Neroon cocked his head. He wished he could hate this man with a vengeance, but failed. He even felt some sort of respect for the Ranger. "You are right. I made a mistake in judgement."
Marcus' eyes grew big. Neroon had actually admitted that he'd made a mistake! That had to be a first! The proud warrior didn't strike him as someone who easily admitted to being wrong.
Neroon growled something intelligible when he caught Marcus' surprised stare. Yes, he could admit his mistakes!
"Where are my manners?" Marcus grinned, sensing the tension in the room. Neroon was trying to be friendly and he should use that to his advantage. "I'm your host. Would you like something to eat or drink? I stuffed the fridge before you arrived."
Neroon tried to silence his growling stomach, but failed. "Do you have Flarn?"
Marcus shuddered briefly. Flarn had absolutely no taste and he abhorred it, but most Minbari were rather fond of it. He'd been forced to eat it daily when he'd lived on Minbar. "I'm afraid not…" he said hesitantly, "but I've got sandwiches and soup. I can serve those."
Neroon wanted to decline, but his stomach objected loudly. He didn't want to eat any Human food, but realized he didn't have the luxury to search the space station for a restaurant that served Flarn. "Then it will have to do."
Marcus smiled and disappeared into the kitchen. "You won't regret that decision. Lennier made this chicken soup."
Lennier, that name sounded familiar. Ah yes, it was the name of Delenn's aide. Neroon followed Marcus into the kitchen and cringed, smelling the chicken soup. He wondered if he would be able to swallow it. It smelled foul.
Marcus busied himself preparing the sandwiches. He'd pulled some strings and had fresh tomatoes, cheese and even some fresh lettuce. It was hard to ignore Neroon, who was watching him closely. "How long are you going to stay?"
"As long as it takes," Neroon replied and decided he could give those sandwiches a try. They didn't look too bad. "Will you join me for dinner?"
Marcus didn't expect that question, but knew that eating without the host taking part in the meal was rude. "Yes, I will." He couldn't remember when he'd eaten the last time. Probably this morning when Susan had avoided talking to him… again.
Although he liked Susan Ivanova a lot, even loved her, he knew he didn't stand a chance with her. Stephen had once told him that he wasn't her type and Franklin had been right. It didn't matter what he did, Susan never really noticed him.
"What are you thinking about?" Neroon said, trying to make conversation.
Feeling caught, Marcus avoided Neroon's searching eyes. This might be the opening he was looking for. "Denn'Sha."
Neroon's eyes darkened. So far he'd succeeded in avoiding this subject. "You challenged me."
"Yes, I did, because it was the only way to gain the time Delenn needed." Marcus carried the plate filled with sandwiches over to the table and then fetched the bowls of soup. They sat down and Marcus observed Neroon's reaction to his first spoonful of chicken soup. "You don't like it?"
Neroon wanted to deny. It was rude to tell the host his cooking tasted foul, but… "I can't eat this."
"Let's blame it on Lennier! He made it," Marcus said, saving the situation. "What about the sandwiches?"
Carefully, Neroon took a tiny bite, and then nodded his head. "They're eatable."
"I'm *so* glad!" Marcus said with a sarcastic hint in his tone. Neroon acted like he barely deemed the food worthy of digestion. What if he got Neroon the Flarn he desired and spiced it up before serving it? Bad boy! Marcus chided himself. Neroon was Delenn's guest and he should treat the warrior with respect. But he's making it hard!
Neroon and Marcus both looked up as someone knocked in a particular rhythm on the door.
"Why doesn't he use the doorbell?" Neroon asked, finishing his last sandwich. He forgave Marcus for preparing the foul soup because the sandwiches had made up for it.
"It's my contact, telling us the coast is clear and that Delenn's expecting us." Marcus got to his feet, put the dirty dishes in the sink and walked over to the door, waiting for Neroon to join him.
The Minbari draped his long coat over his shoulders and put up the hood. He wasn't taking any chances. "Lead on," he instructed, still slightly uncomfortable that he dependent on Marcus to get him safely to Delenn's quarters.
They moved in silence. Marcus led the way, always alert to detect a possible assailant. It was a short walk and it only took them a few minutes to reach Delenn's quarters.
Lennier opened the door and bowed respectfully when Neroon entered.
Neroon ignored the aide and marched straight into Delenn's room, closing the door behind him, shutting the two men out.
"He's an arrogant bastard," Marcus remarked as he followed Lennier into the kitchen. Lennier was preparing tea, which he would serve once Delenn would call for him.
"I never liked him," Lennier admitted. He knew Neroon would never pay him any respect as he was only Delenn's aide, but it still annoyed him. "The Warrior Caste has always been like this. Narrow minded and arrogant."
Marcus studied his friend. "And you don't like it that Delenn's in there alone with him?" Lennier had once confessed his love for Delenn to him and Marcus had never betrayed that trust. Lennier loved Delenn with all the passion the Minbari was capable of, but Delenn loved Sheridan.
Marcus pitied his friend, knowing how much unrequited love hurt. He'd tried to tell Lennier to move on, to find a Minbari or Human girl he liked and could grow to love, but Lennier had never listened.
"Neroon hated your chicken soup," Marcus said, trying to distract Lennier.
"If I had known he would eat it I would have added some spices!" Lennier countered and smiled warmly at Marcus.
"I was having similar thoughts," Marcus admitted. "About spicing up his Flarn… would you happen to have any?"
The two men laughed softly. They could never execute their plans, but scheming was fun.
"Lennier? Bring in the tea please."
Delenn's voice caught them off guard and Lennier and Marcus composed themselves again. Marcus watched Lennier carry the tea into Delenn's quarters and leaned against the wall. He wished he could listen in on that conversation. If Delenn and Neroon really formed an alliance it would make both Minbari a target, especially Neroon.
Delenn was Ranger One and the Rangers would guard her life, but Neroon? How many dedicated warriors did he have left? If Neroon didn't have proper defenses, it would be easy for his enemies to carry out those death threats.
Lennier returned but Marcus knew better than to question his friend. Even if Lennier had heard what Delenn and Neroon were discussing, he would never tell him. So Marcus waited patiently for Neroon to reappear. He didn't doubt that Delenn would give him new orders.
///
After two long hours Neroon and Delenn finally ended their conference and emerged. Marcus immediately got to his feet and waited for them at the doorway. Lennier stood beside him and Marcus noticed how carefully the young Minbari was masking his feelings.
"Marcus," Delenn and Neroon exchanged a look of understanding, "Neroon and I have decided on a course of action. We require your help."
"You have it, Entil'Zha," Marcus replied at once.
"Neroon needs to travel to sector 40 by 39 by 50," Delenn informed him.
Marcus searched his memory. What was out there? Not much, just a few planets, no bases, nothing of value.
"Our enemies will try to stop him, but it's imperative that he gets to his destination." Delenn locked eyes with Marcus. "They'll try to kill him."
"I understand, Entil'Zha," Marcus assured her. Rangers had ways of smuggling people. Neroon would arrive at his destination. "It might take a little longer than necessary though," he warned them. "We'll have to use alternative methods of transportation, take detours to shake off tails."
"Do it," Delenn instructed. "Neroon's safety is your responsibility. Use any means necessary to get him there safely."
"When do we leave?" Marcus realized that Neroon and Delenn had somehow reached an understanding and had declared a truce. They'd formed an alliance, and for some reason Neroon expected to find something in that remote sector.
"In one hour," Neroon replied.
"That leaves me little time to arrange transport," Marcus said thoughtfully.
"Neroon can stay here until departure." Delenn knew Marcus needed time to make arrangements and wanted to take Neroon off his hands for now. "Report back to me once you are ready to leave."
Marcus bowed, turned, and headed through the door into the corridor. He'd have to 'convince' a few people who owed him some favors to comply with his demands. He already knew who'd arrange for a Narn flyer that would get them unnoticed off Babylon 5. Now all he had to do was find his contact.
///
Delenn signaled Lennier to leave them alone and she turned towards Neroon. "You decide how much Marcus needs to know. This is a Warrior Caste affair and we both know they won't rest until they have captured you." Neroon had greatly surprised her. She'd assumed she would need ample time to convince Neroon to form an alliance with the Rangers, but Neroon had suggested it before she'd had a chance to bring it up.
"You are an outcast now…" she said thoughtfully, now that Neroon was refusing to follow Shakiri's lead. "It has been centuries since someone challenged the authority of the Warrior Caste leader."
"Once we have attained our goal I will no longer be an outcast," Neroon reminded her. "If everything goes according to plan I will succeed Shakiri and the Warrior Caste will put a stop to the arguments. The three castes have to be reunited again. There is a civil war brewing and we need to stop it before it escalates."
"You know I agree," Delenn sighed, "but it is a dangerous path you have chosen."
"It is the only path available to us."
Neroon's resolve impressed her. "You have changed."
"I learned to listen and observe first and act later." Neroon met her eyes. "You have taught me that."
"I did?"
"I was convinced that killing you was the only way to prevent the castes from drifting further apart. Traditionally, the right to lead the Rangers belongs to the Warrior Caste. I thought that I was their rightful leader."
"And now?" Delenn smiled, pleased with Neroon's observations.
"You were right. The Warrior Caste has gained too much influence. I disturbed the balance on the Grey Council when I took my place there." Neroon's hand reached for his pike, in need of reassurance that some of his heritage was still there. "I tried to hate you."
Delenn understood. "I tried to hate the Humans once because they killed my mentor. I found I could not hate them for long."
"We have more in common than I thought," Neroon admitted.
"Did you also try to hate Marcus for stopping you?" Delenn inquired, curiously.
"I tried but failed. He carried out his duty as a Ranger. He was prepared to die for the One. It was Marcus who made me see the error of my ways. He would never have died for me. The Humans have become part of our society. We cannot go back. You possess Human and Minbari traits. Only you could lead them. I understand that now." Making this admission had been hard, but he took pride in the fact that he had spoken those words without hesitance.
"I wish you luck, Neroon," Delenn said honestly. "Marcus will do his best to help you. Tell him what he needs to know, or he will not be able to assist you."
"I recognized his qualities as a warrior when we fought, Delenn. I will tell him what he needs to know."
"May Valen guide you," Delenn said, giving him her blessing.
She looked up as the doorbell chirped. Neroon moved back into her private quarters to stay hidden from sight when Lennier opened the door.
"It is Marcus," Lennier informed them.
Neroon emerged from his hiding place and asked, "Are we ready to leave Babylon 5?"
"Yes, a Narn ship will take us out. I also arranged for our first rendezvous. A Centauri freighter will pick us up." Marcus was slightly out of breath because he'd been running to get back as quickly as possible. "You had better put that hood back up," he suggested.
Delenn watched the two men leave her quarters. "Valen, guide them," she prayed privately. "They will need all the help they can get."
Marcus cast a last look at the space station, as it grew smaller. The Narn flyer would take them to the freighter and Marcus was piloting it, as only he knew the rendezvous co-ordinates.
"How long will it take us to reach our destination?" Neroon asked impatiently. He sat in the co-pilot's chair and felt strangely useless. He was accustomed to piloting a vessel himself and now Marcus was doing just that. It made him feel out of control.
"A few days," Marcus replied, leaning back. "If everything goes according to plan we'll arrive in 3 days."
"We could have covered that distance in one day if we'd used a Whitestar!" Neroon's voice carried a hint of contempt. "Why the charade? No one would dare attack a Whitestar!"
"That's where you're wrong," Marcus said, holding steadfast. "Minbari War Cruisers have been sighted near Babylon 5 and are monitoring all Whitestars. They would have found out you were onboard, a few well-aimed shots, and we would have been dead. However, they don't pay much attention to a Narn flyer."
Neroon still wasn't convinced. "I still think this is a waste of time."
"Delenn entrusted your safety to me. You're not going to die while I'm on duty!" Marcus was a little startled at his manner. He hadn't meant to use such a harsh tone, but subconsciously, he still saw Neroon as the enemy. Even a Ranger needed time to adjust to a new situation.
"I did not mean to doubt your expertise in this matter," Neroon said slightly taken aback by Marcus' vehement response. He decided to act a little more tactfully in future. It would take him a while to see Marcus as an equal.
"It's all right. Don't worry about it," Marcus quickly reassured him. Sometimes Neroon unwittingly pushed his buttons and only three months had passed since their fight in Down Below. "We'll meet with the freighter in three hours. I suggest you try to get some sleep in the meantime."
But Neroon didn't intend to rest; instead he wanted to talk to Marcus. "You are nervous… why?" He'd registered the slight trembling of Marcus' hands when he'd arrived at Babylon 5, and now this. Why had Marcus reacted so vehemently?
"The memories are still fresh," Marcus whispered reluctantly. Neroon wouldn't give in and Marcus still had his own questions, which he wanted answered.
"Of our fight?" Neroon nodded his head. He still dreamt about the challenge on nights when he felt particularly restless. "I owe you an apology."
"What apology?" Marcus stole a glance at Neroon and noticed the solemn expression in the Minbari's dark eyes.
"It was unnecessarily cruel of me to break your ribs like that."
Marcus' hand involuntarily touched his chest. He remembered the pain only too well. The broken ribs had made it hard for him to breathe and they'd even caused internal bleeding. "You took pleasure in doing that," he chided Neroon softly.
"Yes, I did," Neroon admitted. "You stopped me from executing my plans and I was angry. I let that anger control me. That was inexcusable." It was an action that tainted his honor; the pleasure he'd taken in hurting Marcus.
"You were angry. It's understandable." Marcus shrugged his shoulders. "If I'd been in your place I might have done the same."
"I doubt that."
"No, really!" Marcus assured Neroon. "I… sometimes… I can't stop the rage I feel… Hell, I once trashed part of Down Below to get the answer to my question. Had to wait for one of them to wake up because I'd knocked them all senseless."
"But I doubt you took pleasure in hurting them," Neroon persisted.
"You might be right about that… It was more like letting go of my anger… My Minbari teachers once told me I carried a lot of repressed anger in my soul."
"Do you still?" Neroon didn't know where this sudden interest came from, but he wanted to know more about the man who had challenged him to the death. No one had ever dared oppose him in that manner. It made him curious to find out more about the enigma that was Marcus Cole… a Human!
Marcus didn't like the direction the conversation was taking, but he'd started it, hadn't he? He couldn't drop the topic without explanation. "Yes, I do," he said softly.
Neroon recognized the expression on Marcus' face, telling him not to question further. A change of topic would save them and prevent unnecessary tension. "Have you ever been to the sector we are heading for?"
"No." Marcus quickly pushed back any unpleasant memories that were trying to surface and listened closely. Hopefully Neroon was willing to share some information with him. He didn't urge Neroon on, giving the Minbari the feeling of being in control.
"There is a fairly unknown planet located in that sector. That planet is called Nafys."
"I've never heard of it," Marcus admitted. "What's so special about that planet?"
"One of its inhabitants." Neroon pondered his next words carefully. Delenn had been right. Marcus needed to know the details of their mission or the Ranger wouldn't be able to help him. "Do you know what happens to the oldest Minbari?"
"I believe they 'go back to the sea'?" Marcus didn't really know how to phrase this.
"Yes, they don't want to be a burden to Minbari society and leave the planet."
"Like Draal. He came to Babylon 5 because he felt his life was coming to an end." Marcus remembered the old Minbari. Draal was a likable chap.
Neroon was surprised that Marcus knew Draal. Neroon had met Draal just once, but knew that the Minbari had been Delenn's teacher for some time. "Yes, like Draal. The Minbari we are looking for left Minbar for the same reason and settled down on Nafys."
"Does this Minbari have a name?" Marcus was growing curious. Neroon was only telling him bits and pieces, leaving out important information.
Neroon considered his answer. Should he tell Marcus? What would he gain if he told the Ranger the entire truth? "His name is Seijro," he said eventually.
The name didn't ring a bell and curiously, Marcus looked to Neroon for further explanation. "And we need to find him because…?"
Neroon was growing tired of playing games and decided to trust Marcus for now. Like I have a choice! If he wanted to betray me, I would have been dead by now. But no Ranger will go against Ranger One's orders… Therefore I can trust him, Neroon mused.
"Seijro is Shakiri's father." Neroon waited for Marcus to realize the full implication of his revelation.
"Shakiri's the leader of the Warrior Caste… your superior. Why are you searching for his father?" Marcus tried to fit all pieces of this puzzle together, but was still missing the most important ones.
"Shakiri wants to unleash a civil war. In the midst of battle he will try to gain absolute power. The Religious and Worker Caste would become powerless and Shakiri would rule supremely. Shakiri already has plans to kill Delenn."
"That's why you came to Babylon 5? To warn her?" Marcus wished he were still on the space station so he could protect her personally.
"I had already relayed that message to her days ago. I came to Babylon 5 because it is time to stop Shakiri."
"But how can Seijro stop his son?" Marcus' head reeled from all this unexpected information. He never suspected this was going on!
"Seijro led the Warrior Caste once. Shakiri, as his son, inherited that right and succeeded his father," Neroon began to enjoy discussing this with Marcus for he had to re-evaluate his plans, make sure he'd thought through every little detail.
"And that's going to help us because…?" A long time ago he'd learned to ask as many questions as possible, thus gathering all the information he needed.
"Seijro can recall his decision. He can declare a new leader."
"And that new leader would be you?" Marcus suddenly realized Neroon's plans. "I don't know that much about Warrior Caste affairs, but isn't it so that only a blood relative can succeed a military leader in Minbari tradition?"
"I am Shakiri's nephew. Seijro's my uncle. I am blood." Neroon wondered why he'd revealed that to Marcus. He'd never intended to do that.
"Bloody hell," Marcus whispered softly. "I never knew that."
"Hardly anyone knows." Neroon suddenly felt uneasy. He was putting too much trust in Marcus. A warrior should only trust himself. "Maybe you were right earlier about getting some rest. I suddenly feel tired."
Marcus didn't know what had happened, but allowed Neroon to retreat from the conversation. "We still have two more hours until we meet up with the freighter. Our course is set… I could use some sleep myself."
Conversation died, as both men needed time to search their thoughts.
///
"You cannot be serious!" Neroon stared in disbelief at their tiny quarters in which they would spend the next three days. It had two small beds with blankets and pillows, a table and one chair, and a small bathroom, with only a washbasin and a toilet.
"Not up to your usual standards?" Marcus quipped teasingly, knowing damn well that these next three days were going to be hell, cooped up in here.
"You wouldn’t make a decent ranger, you know," Marcus added thoughtfully. "You're too used to luxury, which surprises me… you being a warrior."
Marcus stretched out on one bed and flung all pillows except one onto Neroon's bed. "Pile those pillows up and you can rest your back against them. That way you won't have to sleep in the horizontal."
"Are you doing this on purpose?" Neroon asked as he contemptuously dropped a food bar Marcus had offered him.
"Why would I do that?" Marcus wondered aloud in an innocent tone.
Neroon growled softly and sat down on his bed. "I am not sure I can survive 3 days in here. It is so small!"
"Did you complain this much when you were training to become a warrior?" Marcus probed. "I never knew Minbari instructors allowed that."
Neroon realized that Marcus was making fun of him, but instead of growing angry, he grinned. "You make a valid point. A warrior has to deal with hardships."
"Hardships?" Marcus laughed. "Be glad, very glad, that you're not a Ranger! This is luxurious compared to some of my former quarters!"
"Do you enjoy being a Ranger?" Neroon followed Marcus' advice and piled the pillows against the wall, so he could lie down vertically.
"Enjoy?" Marcus hadn't expected that question and found himself pondering the answer. "To a certain degree."
"Why did you become a Ranger?" Neroon had made himself comfortable on the bed and looked at Marcus. The beds stood close and Marcus had pushed them a little further apart.
"I made a promise…" Marcus didn't want to share this with Neroon. This was personal. Remembering brought back pain. Three days! he thought alarmed. Neroon has three days to drive me insane!
"You have not always been a Ranger then?" Neroon understood the warning in Marcus' eyes and tried a different approach.
"I ran a mining colony once."
"Did you enjoy running it?" Neroon didn't know what it was, but Marcus' unwillingness to discuss this made him want to get to the bottom of the matter. Had he seen pain in the Ranger's eyes?
"No, my parents owned it and when they died I took over." Marcus closed his eyes, trying to keep the memories in their cages, but the locks were giving in underneath the pressure. "Do we have to discuss this?"
"There is nothing else to do," Neroon pointed out to him. "Why did you continue to run the mining colony when your heart was not it in?"
Marcus' eyes flashed open. Something about the way Neroon had phrased that had startled him. "My parents worked hard to get their own business. I couldn't sell it to strangers."
"There was no one else who could run it?" Neroon turned onto his side, so he could monitor Marcus better.
"My older brother joined the Rangers… he refused to run the mining colony." It surprised Marcus that even after so many years he still resented William for leaving Arisia.
Neroon quickly found the answer to a question he'd asked Marcus earlier. "You promised your brother to join the Rangers?"
Startled, Marcus sat upright. When had this turned into an interrogation? At least, it felt like that. Maybe Neroon was genuinely interested, but Marcus didn't want to share his darkest memories. "Yes."
Neroon realized he'd pushed too hard and watched as a mask descended onto Marcus' face, hiding all emotion. "I lost my only sibling in the Earth-Minbari war," Neroon said, surprising himself. "Her name was Nusha and she was a splendid warrior."
"I'm sorry you lost your sister in that war," Marcus said truthfully.
"How did your brother die? In the same war?" Neroon knew he was treading on dangerous ground, but he wasn't used to backing down.
"The Shadows killed him," Marcus said, suddenly feeling trapped in their quarters. What had possessed him to go along with this? "I'm going to check in with our contact," Marcus informed Neroon and quickly got to his feet. "Don't leave the room, Neroon. It's best no one sees you."
Neroon nodded his head. "I will stay here." Marcus dashed out of the room and Neroon wondered what the Ranger was running away from. Marcus' promise to his brother puzzled him. Why would he make such a promise when the calling of his heart was not being a Ranger?
And why was it that he could only think about Marcus Cole?
///
Marcus ran until he was panting slightly. He'd only told two other people about William and his promise, and that had been Sinclair and Delenn. Now Neroon was getting close as well.
He stopped running and sat down on a crate, thankful that the cargo area was off limits to the Centauri crew, as the captain feared they might give into temptation and steal.
Confused, he rubbed his temples. A headache was beginning to build and he couldn't give in to it right now, not while Neroon was trying to find out about his history. Why was the Minbari interested in his past anyway?
But something else frightened him as well. Neroon had asked him why he'd run the mining colony while his *heart* hadn't been in it. He'd never expected the warrior to phrase it in such a manner. Sinclair used to phrase his questions like that and it had momentarily propelled him into the past.
For one single moment he'd wanted to trust Neroon, to bear his soul, but he couldn't do that. Neroon had tried to kill him only a few months ago. But then again, Neroon had let him live. Why?
"Bugger," he whispered in a tormented tone. Neroon was quite a surprise. Yes, the Minbari was arrogant, but that was to be expected from an Alit. The thing that unnerved him was Neroon's genuine interest in him. No one had ever gotten him to open up in such short time. What was it about Neroon that made him feel out of control?
Marcus closed his eyes and recalled Neroon's visit to the Medlab. He'd been high on pain meds and hadn't really registered Neroon's words. All he had wanted to know was why… why had Neroon let him live? Why had Neroon denied him death? That last question sent a chill through his body. Was that it? Was he angry with Neroon because the Minbari hadn't killed him? Did that even make sense?
It makes sense when you've got a death wish, a soft voice whispered in the back of his head. Did he have a death wish? Did he want to atone for William's death?
Maybe. He wasn't ready to address that yet, but it did explain his animosity towards Neroon. Now that he knew the source of these feelings, could he do away with them? Could he try to accept Neroon the way he was?
He had three days to find out.
///
Neroon had actually managed to get some sleep during Marcus' absence. He reckoned four or five hours had passed and he was starting to worry. What if the crew had discovered their illegal passengers?
Lazily, he stretched and got to his feet. His muscles felt cramped and he decided to do one of his exercises to loosen them up. As he extended his pike, he realized that he barely had enough space to work with it.
Centering himself, he went through the moves, and when he collapsed the pike he felt calm and in control. Although Marcus had told him not to leave their quarters, he now considered going outside. He was growing hungry and he couldn't find any food in here. Neroon was about to head for the door when it unexpectedly opened.
Marcus stepped inside, carrying two plates filled with bread, dried meat, vegetables and two bottles of water. "Hungry?"
"Yes," Neroon admitted and took hold of the bottles before they could slip from Marcus' hands.
"Sorry, no Flarn." Marcus looked up apologetically. "This is all I could get. The cook doesn't know we're onboard, you see."
They sat down and started eating. Marcus tried to gauge Neroon's mood, but failed.
"You were gone for several hours," Neroon said eventually.
"I needed a quite place to think. Sorry for leaving like that." Marcus sipped from his water. He was determined to treat Neroon fairly and now that some of his animosity was gone, he wanted to give Neroon a chance to prove himself. Marcus didn't have that many friends. Maybe Lennier and G'Kar, but that was probably it. Delenn was his superior and although they were friends she would always be Ranger One. Am I really considering befriending Neroon? he wondered surprised. The answer was yes!
Neroon finished his meal and sat back on the bed, watching his temporary roommate. Marcus seemed a bit flustered and the eyes were swimming. It almost appeared like an emotional storm had just passed. Was he going to make it worse with his next statement? "I still miss my sister at times."
Marcus swallowed hard. He'd been a fool to think Neroon would let this rest. "I miss William too."
Neroon stored the name away and nodded his head. "It is hard to stay behind." Suddenly, Marcus' eyes sparkled and Neroon's alarms kicked in.
"Aren't you warriors told that you're already dead, even when you're still alive?"
"Yes, that way death is a release from life," Neroon confirmed, surprised that Marcus knew this fact. "You have studied the way of the Warrior Caste."
"When I was at the training facility on Minbar I sometimes got bored and searched the data crystal collection." Marcus pushed his empty plate away and moved from the chair over onto his bed. "How do you feel about that? Already being dead?"
"It is the only way for a warrior. We are often called upon to sacrifice our lives for the good of the people. You cannot do that when you cling to life."
"Then why are you fighting to stay alive? Why not let Shakiri do as he pleases?" Marcus enjoyed playing Neroon.
"You are right to a certain degree. A warrior should not oppose his leader, but die for him. But what if that leader is insane? Shakiri's only interested in personal gain."
"Why didn't your uncle stop Shakiri from becoming the leader of the Warrior Caste?" Marcus found that he enjoyed talking to Neroon, now that he was facing Neroon with an open mind.
"Shakiri never showed his true nature. We did not suspect he would turn out to be like this… hungry for power."
"You know something?" Marcus said, laying down and pulling up the blankets to cover his body. "Although you seem arrogant, you're not."
Neroon laughed warmly. "You are the first to say that!" But inwardly, he wondered, Marcus thinks I am arrogant? Why? He hadn't realized the Ranger felt like that.
"I don't know about you, but I'm going to get some sleep. There's nothing else to do and I'm still trying to catch up on all the sleep I missed." Marcus turned on his side, away from Neroon, and closed his eyes.
Absentmindedly, Neroon nodded his head. "Go to sleep then. I will stay awake in case someone finds us."
"Don't worry about that," Marcus whispered sleepily. "Captain's an old friend of mine. We're safe here."
"I would rather stay alert," Neroon replied and listened to the Ranger's breathing, which was slowing down. Marcus was asleep and Neroon was alone with his thoughts.
///
When Marcus woke several hours later he realized that Neroon wasn't in bed any more. The warrior stood in the center of the room, slowly exercising his body. Marcus had turned in his sleep and he peeked at Neroon, who moved as smoothly as a cat.
Neroon's exercises mirrored shadow boxing, an ancient sport still practised on Earth. The slow and fluent movement portrayed silent poetry. Neroon never lost his balance, never rushed a sequence and Marcus admitted the silent grace that powerful body possessed.
He pushed his body a little deeper into the too soft mattress and enjoyed the show Neroon was putting on. Neroon doubtlessly knew that he was awake and Marcus didn't break the illusion. Some of the moves that Neroon executed were new to him and Marcus wondered if the Minbari would be willing to teach him.
"You are awake."
Neroon's voice cut through the room and although Marcus expected to hear it, Neroon's tone still took him aback. "You know those moves by heart."
"I have had many cycles to perfect them," Neroon said with a smile. "How old are you, Marcus?"
"34," Marcus replied softly. "One human year equals one and a half Minbari cycles, doesn't it?"
"You are young," Neroon said thoughtfully. "Younger than I thought."
"Would you teach me some of those sequences?" Marcus asked eventually after gathering his courage. Minbari tended to treasure their traditions and teaching ancient moves to a Human wasn't appropriate. But Marcus had to try.
"You wish to learn then?" Neroon considered the question. He did owe Marcus for breaking those ribs. "I will teach you."
Marcus kicked back the blankets and got to his feet. "We don't have enough room in here to move."
"Why do not we go outside?" Neroon suggested. "You said the captain would keep his people away from here."
"It's worth the risk," Marcus decided. Neroon wouldn't offer to teach him again, so he better take this opportunity. He opened the door and stepped outside.
Neroon nodded his head. "This will do." There was plenty of space between the crates. "Let me show you."
Hungrily, Marcus devoured Neroon's demonstration. When the Minbari started to perspire, Neroon removed his shirt and Marcus swallowed hard seeing the muscular chest. Neroon possessed more strength than he'd originally thought when he'd faced the Minbari during Denn'Sha. If he'd seen Neroon's bare torso back then, he might have used other means to try and stop the warrior.
"Now, you try," Neroon said in a friendly tone and gestured Marcus to assume his starting position.
Marcus did as he was told and started the exercise. He was halfway through when Neroon stopped him.
"No, put your weight on your right foot and only then, you extend your left arm," Neroon instructed and moved until he stood behind the Ranger. He'd taught several young warriors and knew which mistakes Marcus would make. In order to correct them, he placed his right hand on Marcus' thigh, telling him put his weight on that leg.
The touch had a most peculiar effect on Marcus. It felt like Neroon's fingers burned through the fabric of his trousers, almost scorching his flesh. Shocked, he barely managed to follow Neroon's instructions. Bloody hell, what was happening? Why was he reacting to Neroon's touch?
"Try this," Neroon suggested, oblivious to Marcus' confusion. He leaned in closer to correct the Ranger's position and rested a hand on Marcus' lower back.
This time Marcus froze at the touch. Horrified, he realized that he was growing hard, growing aroused because of Neroon's touch.
Part 3
Confused, Marcus stepped away from Neroon, creating a safe distance between them. He didn't know why he was reacting this way. Never before had he been attracted to a man! Or was he lying to himself?
Too startled to address this right now, he focused on covering up his embarrassment. Neroon was already eyeing him suspiciously and Marcus couldn't endanger their growing friendship. After all, Delenn had ordered him to win Neroon's trust. Now he was getting more than he'd bargained for.
Neroon's puzzled expression urged Marcus in to action. "I think I pulled a muscle," he said apologetically, wishing his arousal would diminish. He could only hope Neroon hadn't noticed his current state.
Neroon didn't quite know what to think of Marcus' unexpected reaction. For some reason he doubted that the Ranger was telling the truth. The green eyes were strangely dilated and hooded. If he didn't know better, Neroon would have suspected that Marcus was attracted to him, but that was impossible. Until a few days ago they had been enemies.
"Then you should rest," Neroon suggested, giving in to Marcus' apparent discomfort.
"Yes, I think I'm going to lie down." Marcus quickly used Neroon's suggestion to justify heading back to his bed. Carefully, he sat down, pretending he'd hurt his knee. He felt grateful that Neroon didn't follow. The Minbari continued his own work out, allowing Marcus some much needed privacy.
What the hell had just happened during the work out? Neroon's touch had turned him on! His body had wanted Neroon’s touch, reacting passionately! This isn't happening! Marcus thought upset. I've never felt attracted to men before, so why now?
But was that really the truth? Marcus shivered slightly as he remembered the admiration he'd felt for Jeffrey Sinclair. The former Earthforce Captain had been his mentor and friend. He'd often sought Sinclair's company, enjoying their discussions or sparring matches.
Did I feel attracted to Sinclair? Marcus wondered confused. William's death had been very fresh and he'd been in mental and emotional pain, which Sinclair had managed to soothe. Sinclair had been his hero, the man who'd pulled him back from the brink. He'd been a nervous wreck when he'd arrived on Minbar.
Was that it? Had he been fooling himself the entire time? Had he been in love with Sinclair without knowing it? No, he dismissed that idea. He'd never felt aroused when Sinclair had been close. Sinclair had been more like a father figure.
But what about Neroon? Something had happened during that training sequence when the Minbari had touched him. Even now a soft tingling sensation lingered in his groin. It was a sweet ache that reminded him of the momentary desire he'd felt.
His parents hadn't raised him to be filled with prejudices and he'd always thought of himself as pretty open-minded and tolerant, but he'd never pictured himself having feelings for another man. Wasn't he in love with Susan Ivanova?
Feeling emotionally drained, he sank onto the bed and lay down on his back. As he stared at the metal ceiling, he wondered what was going on with him. No, it doesn't matter *why* I feel this way, I've got to deal with it. Neroon can't find out! I can't jeopardize this mission. Neroon has to reach Nafys and I have to gain his trust. I can't let him know what happened or what I'm feeling!
His mind made up, he took a deep breath. He wasn't denying that he felt attracted to Neroon; he was just postponing dealing with it. Maybe later, once they'd returned from their mission and after Neroon had left for Minbar he could allow himself time to think about this.
A sudden explosion rocked the freighter and knocked Marcus off his bed. He ended up on the floor, staring startled at the trembling walls. Someone had fired at the freighter and judging from the impact, they were in danger.
An infuriated growl reminded him of Neroon's presence and Marcus pushed himself to his feet. He was about to leave their quarters when another impact rocked the freighter and this time, Marcus smelled the smoke that indicated a fire had started nearby.
"Neroon?" Marcus' hand slid across the wall, as he tried to steady himself against another series of tremors that shook the freighter.
"Here!" Neroon growled the word between gritted teeth.
Marcus honed in on Neroon's voice and froze briefly. Several crates had tumbled down, burying the Minbari beneath them. As far as he could tell, Neroon's right leg was trapped. "Are you injured?"
"I may have broken my leg," Neroon said, trying to stay calm. "Who do you think is carrying out this attack?"
Marcus reacted just in time to prevent another crate from landing on top of the one that was crushing Neroon's leg. "I don't really know, but I doubt it's your Minbari friends."
Neroon glared at him. How could Marcus joke at a time like this? "We should have taken a Whitestar!"
"Stubborn ass," Marcus mumbled barely audible so Neroon wouldn't pick up on it. "We're probably being attacked by Raiders. There has been heightened activity in this sector and the freighter is carrying valuable cargo."
Marcus waited until the attacks ceased and then set his shoulders against the crate. "Do you think you can pull away once I start lifting the crate?"
"Yes," Neroon said annoyed. It was inexcusable that he'd allowed this attack to surprise him. He should have picked up on those first tremors. That way he could have avoided getting trapped beneath that crate.
Marcus managed to lift the crate and extended his pike so he could use it as leverage to keep the crate off Neroon's leg. One look at the limb told him that Neroon had been right. The weird angle indicated that it was broken. "Move!" he instructed.
Neroon crawled backwards and sighed deeply. As Marcus let go of the crate it thumped back onto the floor. The pain cut through his leg, but he shut it out, using the meditation techniques his teachers had taught him many cycles ago. "What are we going to do now?"
"We'll take the Narn flyer and leave the freighter." Marcus had quickly formed a plan. "Can you get back to your feet with my help?" He folded one arm around Neroon's waist and started to pull him to his feet.
Neroon's first reaction was to shake off Marcus' arm, but he found that his balance was impaired. He wouldn't be able to walk unaided. Glaring at Marcus, he tried to maintain a semblance of dignity as the Ranger hauled him through the docking bay.
Marcus sensed Neroon's unease, but didn't comment on it. His first priority was to get Neroon safely off the freighter and to Nafys. He hadn't counted on the Raiders, but luckily, the Narn flyer had been docked in a secluded side entrance, hidden from sight.
Neroon clenched his teeth tightly shut. The pain was bearable now that he'd pushed it in to the back of his mind. Survival was imperative now. "Do we have enough fuel and water to make it to Nafys?" Neroon was determined to reach his destination.
"When I was gone yesterday I checked our supplies. It'll take us 23 hours to reach Nafys, but yes, we can make it," he assured the Minbari.
Marcus opened the door and pushed Neroon inside. Behind him, several large pieces of debris flew through the docking bay. "We've got to get out of here before the freighter explodes or the captain surrenders."
Neroon nodded his head once as he struggled to reach the co-pilot's seat. Quickly, his fingers pushed the right buttons and the flyer's systems came online. "We are ready for take off," Neroon informed Marcus and then collapsed on to the seat. His leg was turning numb and no longer supported him. He suspected that he'd sustained multiple fractures.
"Hold on. I'm taking us out of here!" Marcus plotted a course that would take them to Nafys and steered the flyer towards the opening bay doors. "It's going to be a bumpy ride, hold onto something!"
Neroon's fingers dug into the arm rests and he held his breath as Marcus took the flyer away from the freighter. As he looked at the large space ship he counted several hotbeds. The freighter had sustained severe damage and would shortly explode. "You need to increase the distance between us and the freighter!"
"I know that!" Marcus concentrated on piloting the flyer further away from the freighter, hoping the Centauri ship wouldn't explode yet. But his wish wasn't granted. A split second later the freighter exploded and the pressure wave hit their flyer, tossing it aimlessly around.
"Hold on to those controls!" Neroon called out, wishing he could do something to steady the flyer, but the blast wave had rendered them without manoeuvring capability.
"It's useless. We've got to ride it out!" Marcus hung on to his chair as the flyer spun out of control. The deadly dance lasted a minute and then things settled down again.
"Are you all right?" Marcus asked Neroon, feeling apprehensive, seeing the pale face and pained expression in those dark eyes.
"I will survive. Can we still control the flyer?" Neroon moved in a little closer, trying to see what Marcus' fingers were doing as they hovered above the controls.
"No," Marcus said calmly. "The explosion damaged the flyer. We're going to crash."
"Can we make that a controlled crash?" Neroon's eyes scanned the map of the sector, which was displayed on the screen. "There is a planet close with agreeable atmosphere. It will allow us to breathe."
"Where?" Marcus followed Neroon's finger as the Minbari pointed the planet out to him. "That’s Udor. I don't think we want to go there."
"Do we have a choice?" Neroon was growing impatient. His leg was throbbing and the pain was getting harder to suppress.
"Udor is one big desert. It's an oven during the day and an icy hell during the night." Marcus didn't like this one bit, but if they managed a secure landing they might be able to repair the flyer so they could eventually reach Nafys. "You're right. We don't have a choice. But this is going to be an ugly landing."
Neroon gritted his teeth and refrained from talking. Marcus needed to concentrate and he didn't dare distract the Ranger who turned out to be a very fine pilot. Neroon didn't want to admit it, but Marcus' cunning impressed him. A lesser pilot wouldn't have managed to get them away from the freighter in time.
The next minutes passed in silence. Marcus managed to regain some control of the flyer, but they were going to crash anyway. As he steered the flyer towards the planet's surface, he stole one quick glance at Neroon. The dark eyes possessed a special attraction they hadn't held before and it was hard to pull away from them. He couldn't have chosen a worse moment to realize that he was falling in love. Now, as they faced death, he could admit that truth. As they went down, he prayed Neroon would survive.
///
The impact knocked them both unconscious, causing the flyer to be partially covered by the sand and then collapse on to its side. Electric wiring sizzled and several wires sprang free from their casing. Smoke filled the cabin and the screen turned black.
Marcus was the first to regain consciousness and coughed violently as the smoke attacked his lungs. Tears filled his eyes and he wiped them away. He had to find Neroon and take him to safety.
The dense smoke made it hard for him to locate the Minbari. Neroon had been propeled into the back of the flyer and lay face down in a miserable heap. Marcus crawled on all fours over to Neroon and wrapped his arms around the Minbari's torso.
The escape hatch had opened and all Marcus had to do was to drop Neroon gently onto the sand. Well, he had intended to lower Neroon down *gently*, but he couldn't hold Neroon's weight and the warrior dropped harshly onto the sand. A tormented moan left Neroon's lips that made Marcus flinch.
Marcus quickly checked himself for injuries, but he'd been lucky and had escaped unharmed. He quickly followed Neroon outside and once he'd hit the sand, he scanned his surroundings for a possible shelter.
With impossible strength he hauled Neroon into a fireman's carry and dragged himself towards a cave, which was almost hidden from view. The cave would shelter them from the brewing sandstorm. Carrying Neroon over to the cave almost seemed to last a lifetime, but Marcus persisted.
Feeling the warm and heavy body draped across his shoulder reminded him of the fact that he was responsible for Neroon's safety. Even if Delenn hadn't instructed him to guard Neroon's life with his own, he would have done just that because he was falling in love with Neroon.
That love gave Marcus the strength he needed and eventually, he tenderly lowered Neroon onto the ground in the back of the cave. He cupped the back of Neroon's head in his hand as he rested Neroon's body against the rocky wall, carefully avoiding further injury.
Methodically, he checked Neroon for further injuries and sighed with relief when he didn’t find any. Looking over his shoulder, he realized that he had to head back to the flyer to retrieve the med kit, food supplies and thermo blankets. It would get icy cold in here during the night.
"I'll be right back," he whispered softly, even smiling at the unconscious Minbari. How had Neroon found a way in to his heart in such short time?
Making his way back to the flyer was even harder. Opposing winds fought him and eventually he hoisted himself back into the flyer. He avoided the whipping wires and quickly retrieved all necessities. A small explosion near the control console rocked him off his feet and sent him flying down the escape hatch in to a mountain of sand.
Marcus didn't pause to gather his breath. All he could think about was returning to Neroon who needed medical attention. He'd need to splint that leg and check it for open wounds. Determinedly, he made his way back to the cave.
///
Sharp pain startled Neroon awake. His eyes flashed open to determine the source of his pain. Surprised, he realized that Marcus was sitting on his heels beside him, tending to his injured leg. "We made it then?"
Marcus smiled softly. "I wouldn't call it a *controlled* crash, but yes, we made it." Inwardly, he felt nervous. He'd hoped to finish with splinting the leg before Neroon would wake up.
As Neroon looked at his leg, he noticed that Marcus had removed his trousers and had draped a thermo blanket over his legs instead. Only the part that needed to be splinted was exposed. Luckily no bones had broken through the skin, which lowered the risk of infection.
"It's broken in two places. Here…" Marcus pointed just beneath the knee. "And here," he said, as his hand hovered above Neroon's ankle. "You need to stay off your feet and rest."
"We can't do that. We need to resume our flight to Nafys," Neroon said irritated.
Marcus finished applying the splint and tried hard not to let his fingertips linger on Neroon's bare skin. The Minbari's muscular thighs made his fingers tingle and the sensation traveled straight to his groin. Inwardly, he kicked himself. Why did he have to fall in love with someone he could never have? And he'd thought Ivanova was a challenge! Neroon was way beyond his reach!
Neroon noticed the return of the hooded, dilated pupils and his gaze traveled to where Marcus' fingers rested on his skin. It certainly looked like his suspicions had been right. Feeling uncomfortable, Neroon wondered what action to take. Should he address it or let it rest? It was obvious that Marcus was attracted to him, though the reason why eluded him. The Ranger was young and by Human standards probably attractive.
Suddenly realizing that his fingertips were almost caressing Neroon's skin, Marcus quickly pulled back and covered Neroon with the thermo blanket. The three suns were already setting and a cold wind rising. "Do you want something to kill the pain?"
"No, I want to stay clearheaded," Neroon said, still confused at the unexpected attention. "Marcus?" He grabbed the Ranger's right hand before Marcus could retreat.
"What?" Alarmed, Marcus forced himself to lock eyes with Neroon. Had the Minbari realized that a clinical touch had changed into a caress? Feeling utterly embarrassed, he fought his blush.
"Are you attracted to me?" Neroon preferred the direct approach, as it prevented misunderstandings. But he didn't know how to react if Marcus' answer was affirmative.
"Am I that obvious?" Marcus didn't deny the truth. Neroon had already seen his attraction and denying it would only further Neroon's curiosity.
"I am afraid so," Neroon said in a thoughtful tone. "When did it start?"
"When we left Babylon 5." Marcus lowered his eyes and stared at Neroon's hand, clasping his wrist. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Somewhat," Neroon admitted. "You know that I do not feel attracted to you? Nothing will happen between us."
Marcus nodded once. "It's my problem."
Neroon distinctly heard the regret in Marcus' voice and wondered about the younger man. "These feelings will pass."
Marcus laughed grimly. "Of course they will." Though he doubted that. Now that he knew how it felt to be in love, he realized he'd never loved someone before. Not even Susan Ivanova.
"We should rest now," Neroon said, trying to change their topic.
"Yes, but first we need to eat and drink something. We should ration our food and water." Relieved that Neroon wasn't determined to question him further, he retrieved their supplies and handed Neroon a food bar. "I know they taste foul, but it's all we have."
Neroon accepted it with a growl and ate it mechanically. Marcus handed him the bottled water. Neroon drank some water and then returned it to Marcus. "How are we going to get off this planet?"
"Tomorrow I'm going to try to repair the flyer. We should be able to reach Nafys." Marcus ate his food bar and sipped from the water, awarding Neroon double rations as the Minbari was injured and needed the liquids.
"We will spend the night here then?" Neroon asked, thankful that the thermo blanket warmed his numb leg. Marcus had pulled it up onto his shoulders earlier and only now Neroon wondered how Marcus planned to stay warm. As far as he could tell, they had only salvaged that one blanket from the flyer.
Marcus pulled his long cloak closer to his body, ignoring the rising cold. Feeling still somewhat embarrassed, he avoided looking at Neroon. His fingers traced circles in the cooling sand.
Neroon's eyes were slipping shut, but he didn't want to go to sleep yet. Although he'd made Marcus confess to the attraction, the matter stood unresolved between them. And now Marcus was shivering from the cold that doubtlessly crept up his body. Neroon was using the only thermo blanket they had and he couldn't let Marcus spend the night in the freezing cold. Hopefully, it wouldn't feed the Ranger's hopes.
"Marcus?" Neroon knew he had to suggest this now before sleep took over or courage deserted him.
"Yes?" Voice filled with disinterest, Marcus' eyes remained locked onto the sand. He'd pushed his hands into his sleeves, trying to warm them.
"Why do you not come over here? It has grown cold and we should share our body warmth." Neroon knew it was the only rational thing to do, but didn't want to make Marcus feel awkward.
"I don't think you'll feel comfortable with me that close, knowing that…" Knowing that I'm falling in love with you. I can't bear the thought of having you close without being able to touch you, Marcus thought, saddened. He'd never had such intense feelings for someone and it scared him. Neroon and he had only been on this mission for 50 hours and the attraction was still growing. He yearned to sit close to Neroon and feel those strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. Why was he feeling this way?
"You will not make me feel uncomfortable," Neroon assured him and lifted the thermo blanket invitingly. "You must understand. This is the first time a man has ever found me desirable."
Hearing that particular statement made Marcus curious. "You're sure you don't mind?" Hesitantly, he got to his feet and slowly he made his way over to Neroon. He looked down at the warrior questioningly.
"I am sure," Neroon repeated, considering the best position for sharing body warmth. If he hadn't been injured he would have asked Marcus to sit down in front of him and Neroon would have wrapped arms and legs around the other man, but his leg injury made that impossible. "Sit down behind me," he instructed, knowing that they couldn't let any body warmth go to waste. The temperature was still dropping.
Marcus swallowed hard. Sit down *behind* Neroon? What if he grew erect during the night because of an erotic dream or woke with a morning hard on? What would Neroon think? How would the Minbari react if Neroon woke up with a morning erection poking his back? This was a bad idea. "Maybe I should just sit down next to you."
"No, your sitting behind me is the best position for sharing body warmth. This is not the time for false modesty," Neroon chided him, but he couldn't really be angry with the Ranger, seeing apprehension clearly displayed on the young face. "Come, sit."
Unable to reject such a direct order, Marcus obeyed. Neroon moved forward and Marcus slipped into position behind him. When Neroon leaned back against him, Marcus instinctively wrapped his arms around him. Neroon now sat between his legs, emanating a welcome warmth.
Neroon pulled the thermo blanket back in place and waited for Marcus to find an agreeable position. When the Ranger had finally settled down, Neroon rested his back against Marcus. "Will this do?"
"Oh yes," Marcus sighed blissfully, partly due to the warmth, partly because he was holding Neroon in his arms. Although Neroon had an impressive physique the warrior's body felt pliant.
Neroon wondered about that sigh. It appeared that Marcus was really falling in love with him and that fact baffled him. It urged him to ask, "Have you ever been in love with a man before?"
Neroon's question startled Marcus. He'd almost fallen asleep. "No," he whispered softly. "I don't think I've *ever* been in love before."
Marcus' honesty pleased Neroon, although the answer made him restless. Why would Marcus fall in love with *him*? He wasn't *that* special.
"Have you ever been in love?" Marcus asked, and the absurdity of their situation suddenly struck him. Here he was on a deserted planet, holding an injured Neroon in his arms and they were discussing being in love? Could things possibly get any crazier?
Neroon wished Marcus had never asked that question as painful memories resurfaced. Truth was that he didn't want to discuss this, but he had started this conversation. "Yes." Marcus flinched behind him and Neroon added, "But she did not love me. It was an arranged marriage."
"I'm sorry about that. Must have been hard that she couldn't love you back."
Neroon nodded his head. Pain and fatigue had weakened his defenses and he was telling Marcus things he normally never would have. "Minbari population has been steadily decreasing the last hundred cycles and we are encouraged to mate for reproduction purposes. My wife never had a say in the matter. Our families arranged the marriage."
"But you loved her?"
"I fell in love with Valara the first time I saw her. She was a splendid warrior. She even taught me a few tricks with the Denn'bok, but her heart belonged to another man." Neroon involuntarily remembered his wife's declaration that she was in love with someone else and that she had beseeched her father not to agree to a marriage with Neroon. But her father had remained steadfast and Neroon and Valara had married. "She was not happy," he added after a moment's thought, "and we never had any children."
"That sounds incredibly sad," Marcus said honestly, but he now understood why Neroon had brushed off his timid flirtations. Neroon was married and thus off limits!
"I think that is why she died so young," Neroon added on impulse. He'd never discussed this with anyone. Minbari didn't discuss their feelings openly. Even family members reacted in a reserved manner when it concerned matters of the heart.
Marcus felt his eyes water. Neroon's sadness and sense of loss was almost tangible. "And you stayed behind alone."
"It would have been easier if we had been blessed with children. Valara always wanted a daughter." Neroon drew in a deep breath to steady himself and then exhaled slowly. This discussion had drained him and he stopped fighting his fatigue. He would try and resolve this situation tomorrow.
Marcus caught the change in Neroon's breathing and realized that the Minbari had fallen asleep. Feeling protective of the warrior, he rested his chin on Neroon's shoulder. Part of Neroon's bone crest rubbed against his temple and he relished the contact. This would probably be the only time that Neroon would ever allow him so close. Using Neroon's breathing to regulate his own, he drifted off to sleep as well.
///
The next morning Neroon woke because he was feeling warm. Now that the three suns had reappeared the planet was rapidly heating up. Neroon pushed back the thermo blanket and suddenly realized that something was *wrong*. Hadn't he fallen asleep with Marcus settled behind him?
But the Ranger was gone. His back rested against Marcus' cloak, which the Ranger had folded into a pillow. Neroon couldn't help but appreciate such thoughtfulness.
But where was Marcus? Feeling strangely restless, he used the wall to push himself to his feet. The leg protested fiercely, but as a warrior, he'd learned to lock out the pain. Marcus had done a good job with the splint. It actually supported his leg and Neroon realized that he could walk as long as he used the wall to support himself.
It took him several minutes, but he made it to the entrance of the cave. He pinched his eyes as the bright light of three suns attacked his retina. From where he stood he had an excellent view of the valley where they'd landed.
The fires inside the flyer seemed to have died. Neroon suddenly noticed movement near the flyer and realized that Marcus was throwing things outside through the escape hatch. An arm reached for a tool the Ranger had thrown out before. Neroon hoped Marcus could repair the flyer. Their time was limited and they had to reach Nafys as quickly as possible.
He was about to step back into the cave again when a keening wail cut through the air. An explosion rocked the flyer and dark clouds of smoke drifted down the escape hatch. Neroon halted in this tracks and focused on the flyer. Had something happened to Marcus?
He got his answer when the Ranger dropped onto the sand and started thrashing. Neroon didn't waste any time and began his long and painful way over to the flyer.
Part 4
"Marcus?" Moving awkwardly, Neroon finally reached the flyer. Although smoke still escaped from the inside, it didn't seem like an explosion would follow. Neroon's hand reached for support and the hull felt oddly hot. Looking down at Marcus, he tried to rouse the Ranger from unconsciousness. There was no way that he could carry Marcus back to the cave.
But Marcus remained motionless. Worried, Neroon managed to bend down and touch the Ranger's shoulder. Marcus lay face down and Neroon rolled the Ranger onto his back. The first thing he noticed was that the palms of Marcus' hands had been scorched. They looked raw, bled from several gashes, and the fingers had stiffened.
He didn't know what had happened to Marcus and felt at a complete loss. When one of his men had been injured during battle the healers had taken care of the injured, but now he had to attend to Marcus' wounds himself. Neroon realized that he needed to get Marcus back to their shelter, but how?
"Marcus? Wake up!" Neroon called out, growing anxious. He'd been injured on the freighter and now that Marcus was injured as well, their situation had become precarious.
Marcus' eyes flashed open and a terrifying emptiness stared back at Neroon. Wondering what was wrong, he tried to gain Marcus' attention. "What happened, Marcus?"
"The Shadows! You were right! William, they're coming. The platforms exploded and everyone's dead. We've got to leave Arisia!" Marcus raised his hands pleadingly, burned palms turned upwards as he drowned in his memories. "Hasina's dead. Everyone's dead. Don't die on me, Willie!"
"Marcus, we are on Udor!" Neroon almost lost his balance when Marcus' fingers buried themselves in the fabric of his uniform. His right trouser leg had been ripped apart to fit the splint.
Neroon cringed as he realized that part of the skin on Marcus' hands was coming loose. "Marcus, listen to me. It is I, Neroon!"
"Willie, there's a flyer. We can use it to leave Arisia. It's only a few more steps. Look out! It's a Shadow ship!" Reliving the most horrible moments of his life, Marcus rocked violently. In his mind, the Shadows were destroying Arisia all over again; killing everyone he'd ever cared about. "Don't die on me, Willie. We can make it!" Marcus pleaded with Neroon who'd taken on his brother's form.
Neroon didn't know what had led to the tragedy Marcus had suffered, but it was apparent that Marcus was in emotional pain. Obviously, the Ranger had lost his loved ones because of the Shadows. He had to act carefully, and almost tenderly he pulled Marcus to his feet. "You need to walk, Marcus. We have to return to the cave."
Petrified, Marcus watched as William's form faded and made way for Neroon's. "Cave?" he repeated, confused. Weren't Willie and he heading for the flyer?
"We crashed," Neroon said patiently, wishing he had some medical expertise. He didn't know what was happening to Marcus. "We landed on Udor and we took shelter in a cave. Do you remember?" Marcus swayed on his feet and Neroon steadied him, stubbornly ignoring his own pain. He'd pay the price for taxing his leg later.
"The Centauri freighter got raided, didn't it?" Confused, Marcus tried to remember everything that had happened during the last 24 hours. "Your leg! You should be lying down, not moving about like this!" He didn't even realize that Neroon was supporting him at his point!
"Can you walk?" Neroon inquired and realized that Marcus' hands were shaking violently. "We have to tend to your hands."
"My hands?" Marcus wondered what Neroon
was talking about. He was fine, wasn't he?
"Look," Neroon instructed and revealed the damage done to Marcus' hands. "What happened during the repairs?"
"I don't know," Marcus mumbled, taken aback by the damage to his hands. "How did this happen?"
"You do not remember?" Concerned, Neroon steered Marcus in the direction of the cave. Neroon realized that he'd have to make the repairs himself, as Marcus' hands needed to heal. Marcus wouldn't be able to hold any tools or carry out repairs any time soon.
Sliding into shock, Marcus allowed Neroon to guide him back to the cave. All he could do was stare at his burned hands, which had begun to throb painfully. "Now what?" he wondered resigned. "I can't repair the flyer like this."
"We will manage somehow," Neroon assured him, relieved that they'd arrived at the cave. His leg was about to give out on him and he barely managed to sit Marcus down next to the med kit. Sighing deeply, he lowered himself onto the sand as well. "Let me have a look at your hands."
Marcus just sat there, not really registering what was happening. He started to tremble all over his body and his teeth chattered. He flinched violently as Neroon probed the extent of the burns. This time Neroon's touch brought pain and he forced himself not to pull back, trusting the Minbari to take care of the burns.
Neroon reached for Marcus' cloak and ripped off two strips of fabric which he soaked with water. Gently, he wrapped them around Marcus' hands. "I am not a healer, Marcus," he explained, "but I think we need to cool your hands."
"You shouldn't use our water for this," Marcus chided him. His voice was unsteady and vertigo made his head ache. "This is all the water we have." They needed the water to drink and Neroon shouldn't waste it to cool his hands.
"Be silent," Neroon said resolved. "I am in control now and you will do as I tell you."
Marcus chuckled briefly. Part of him wondered why he was acting so strangely. Something was wrong with him, but he didn't know what. All he remembered was a sharp flash and a loud bang before he'd been catapulted out of the flyer. He'd tried to fix the wiring… maybe he'd received an electric shock? "I love it when you're forceful." Bloody hell, had he really said that? Judging from Neroon's surprised look he had.
"I will ignore that comment." Neroon's concern increased as he noticed the feverish expression in Marcus' eyes. He rested a hand against the Ranger's brow and felt the fever starting. As he reached for the water again, Marcus stopped him.
"We'll need it to survive." Marcus shook his head. "Give me some pain meds instead."
"I do not think that is a wise thing to do," Neroon objected. The pain meds would hide the seriousness of Marcus' condition. "How do you feel?"
"On fire… It's like my body's burning. It's no longer just the hands." Marcus rested his hands on his knees, staring at the soaked fabric. "My hands are useless now… I can't repair the flyer."
"Forget about the flyer!" Neroon said loudly. "You are injured and require medical attention, which I can not provide. Now, you will do as I tell you. I am acting on instinct here and you will not work against me!" Fed up with Marcus' objections to using more water, he ripped off more fabric, drenched it in water and placed it against Marcus' brow. "You are burning up."
Marcus laughed mirthlessly. The light inside the cave hurt his eyes and hot air tormented his skin. He had the insane urge to remove his clothing to get a little relief from the heat. Suddenly, he remembered that Neroon was injured too. "How about you? Does the leg hurt?"
"I am fine," Neroon assured him. It was the truth. Now that he had to care of Marcus, his own pain had been forced on to the background. "Minbari heal faster than Humans. The leg will have healed in a few days."
"Can you hear it?"
Marcus' question confused Neroon. "Can I hear what?" Was Marcus turning delusional? Was the fever so bad that the Ranger was having hallucinations? He had to find a way to fight the fever. The only thing he could think of was to cool Marcus' entire body, but they didn't have enough water for that. Neroon cursed the fact that he'd depended on healers to take care of his injured men. If only he'd paid more attention to their ways, he would be of more help to Marcus!
"There! Can't you hear it?"
Neroon registered the rapid, almost frantic eye movement and the spasms that tormented Marcus' hands and arms. The Ranger's condition was deteriorating. "What do you hear?" Neroon leaned in closer, trying to gauge Marcus' lucidity. He seriously hoped the Ranger wouldn't get worse than this.
"The rain!" Marcus stated triumphantly. "Can't you hear the rain?"
Neroon briefly thought that Marcus had lost his mind, but then listened closely and yes, it was raining. Raindrops splashed against the cave entrance.
"Empty the med kit and put it outside, that way you can gather some water. We'll need it. Who knows when it will rain again." Marcus rested his back against the wall and tried to suppress the spasms that were now working their way up his arms.
Neroon had to admit that Marcus had made an excellent suggestion. Quickly, he emptied the med kit and placed the metal box outside. Now that it was raining, the temperature was also dropping, driving away the horrible heat. Returning to Marcus, Neroon had an idea. If he could get Marcus outside the rain might cool the Ranger's body and diminish the fever. It was worth a shot.
"We must get you out of these clothes," Neroon announced. He immediately registered Marcus' startled reaction. "We need to lower your body temperature, Marcus. I do not know what happened inside that flyer, but you are burning up with fever. The gentle rain might soothe the worst of the pain."
"For a moment I thought…" Marcus stopped himself just in time. He'd wanted to say; for a moment I thought you wanted me. But he better get back in touch with reality. Neroon didn't want him. The Minbari had told him so. Why had he thought that? Was Neroon right and was he burning up? "What's wrong with me?"
"I do not know," Neroon admitted. "Lean against me." Neroon gently pulled Marcus' chest against his until he could remove the tunic. The turtleneck provided a greater challenge. Eventually, he used a pair of scissors to cut it open and then pulled it off.
When he went for the trousers, Marcus stopped him. The Ranger was blushing. Neroon understood and relented. "You can keep them on." He did remove Marcus' boots and socks. "Can you walk?"
Marcus nodded his head, but when he tried to get to his feet, he found that his world was spinning. Suddenly, there were three Neroon's in front of him and in the back of the cave he saw Hasina and William. Panting hard, his head dropped forward. Hasina and William were dead, weren't they?
Neroon bit down the pain that emanated from his leg and concentrated on guiding Marcus towards the entrance of the cave. Tepid raindrops descended on them and Neroon helped Marcus sit down again. "Try to rest," he advised as he tried to stand unaided. Although his leg was still hurting, it had started to heal.
Marcus closed his eyes and actually felt each raindrop as it slid down his burning body. Cool air caressed his skin and he sighed deeply. Yes, this would work. "Neroon?" he said hesitantly.
"Yes?" Neroon sat beside the Ranger, but made sure he didn't get wet. He didn't enjoy the rain *that* much. His eyes scanned Marcus, relieved that the discomfort was easing from the Ranger's brow.
"What happened when you found me?" Marcus vaguely remembered talking about Arisia, William and Hasina and he'd seen them both in the cave only a moment ago. Being visited by the past like that terrified him. He felt out of control and only Neroon grounded him to the present.
Neroon took a moment to take in Marcus' startled expression. "You mentioned Arisia, the mining colony you told me about, Shadows and your brother… and someone called Hasina."
"The Shadows attacked Arisia. William had come to warn me, but I didn't listen. Everyone died. I was the only survivor." Marcus failed to lock out the tremors that shook his voice. "If I'd listened they would still be alive today."
Neroon didn't know what to say to comfort Marcus. He was sure there was more to the story than Marcus was telling him. "Our lives are not our own. Destiny guides us. We should accept our fate."
"Then why are you fighting Shakiri?" Marcus shot back.
Neroon bowed his head and had to admit that Marcus' mind was as sharp as ever. "Would you like to tell me what happened when the Shadows attacked?"
"No," Marcus said resolved. Those events were still vivid in his mind and he just couldn't voice them. "I can't do that now. Please understand."
Neroon noted the 'please' and gave in. "Are you feeling better?" The feverish expression was still in Marcus' eyes, but the Ranger's breathing had calmed down. Marcus' lean body was dripping wet and strands of moist hair clung to the Ranger's head.
"I still feel like I'm burning up," Marcus admitted and tried to move his hands. "Not good," he mumbled as his fingers echoed with pain. "I'm sorry that I messed up."
"It was an accident," Neroon corrected him. "You did not *mess up*," he said with determination, copying the Ranger's words, which felt alien to him. Why was Marcus so hard on himself? He couldn't help asking his next question. "Did you promise your brother to become a Ranger because you felt… guilty?"
Marcus flinched as that question impacted. He no longer had the strength to deny the truth. "Yes."
"Then you made your choice for the wrong reason," Neroon continued. Pondering his next move, he rested his hand on Marcus' brow. It felt like the fever had dropped slightly. "Do you want to stay here or go back inside?" Neroon collected the empty bottles from inside the cave and filled them in the overflowing med kit.
The more he moved about, exercising his leg, the less pain he experienced. He allowed himself one moment to take in Marcus' physique and realized why Marcus had been able to stall him in Down Below. The Ranger's lean body was build for stamina and endurance.
"I think I would like to stay out here a little longer." Marcus managed a weak smile. When he'd been inside the cave he'd felt like he'd suffocate, cooped up with ghosts in there.
Neroon nodded his head once and disappeared into the cave. He wanted to check closely on the medical supplies they had. Maybe there was a balm that would soothe the burns on Marcus' hands and the Ranger had offered him pain medication earlier. Now Marcus needed those meds.
Marcus enjoyed the momentary privacy and listened closely as Neroon rummaged around inside the cave. He felt immensely grateful that the Minbari was here with him. The fact that Neroon wanted to look after him had come as a surprise after the warrior had rejected him. "What are you doing?" he asked, feeling curious.
"I found this," Neroon said, and returned to Marcus' side. "I want to apply it to your hands."
Marcus took one good look at the balm and nodded his head. "Do it." Applying the soothing salve would hurt, but he'd manage.
"We should go inside first," Neroon said and watched closely as Marcus pushed himself to his feet. "Sit down here," Neroon instructed and waited until Marcus had settled down in the corner of the cave. Small droplets of rain still lingered on Marcus' body and Neroon wondered why he was noticing *that*.
Marcus felt drained, and although the simmering sensation in his body had lessened, it was still there. He wanted to object as Neroon wrapped the thermo blanket around him, but suddenly realized that his skin had turned in to goose flesh.
"Let me do this," Neroon said softly and placed Marcus' right hand in his lap. "I have to remove the fabric first." Marcus nodded his head and Neroon proceeded.
Marcus barely managed to choke down the pain as the fabric was pulled away from the burned flesh. Small parts of burned skin were torn away and he closed his eyes, mentally reciting a mantra to keep in control of the pain.
Neroon gently applied the balm. The tenderness with which he tended to Marcus' wounds surprised the warrior a little. It was then that he realized that he liked the Ranger and even considered him a friend. Having friends was a rarity, as warriors were taught only to depend on themselves and trust no one. However, he found that he *did* trust Marcus.
After Neroon had finished with Marcus' right hand and reached for his left, Marcus couldn't bite down the pain any longer and uttered a pain filled moan. Neroon probably thought he was a wimp for reacting like this. Warriors took pride in the fact that they never acknowledged their pain.
"I am almost done," Neroon encouraged Marcus as he peeled off the fabric from the Ranger's other hand.
"I can't…" Marcus whimpered. The pain jolted his body and the Ranger fainted.
Neroon immediately checked on his companion, even relieved to find Marcus unconscious. That way, the Ranger would be spared more pain as he applied the balm to the other hand as well. Working in silence, he realized that the tables had been turned. Now, he had to take care of the Ranger.
///
Neroon watched Marcus closely as the Ranger grew restless in his sleep. The Ranger had been unconscious for a short while and then unconsciousness had changed into sleep. Neroon had made sure that the thermo blanket covered Marcus' body, but as he'd checked the Ranger's temperature he'd found it was dropping quickly. Whatever reaction Marcus was having was resulting in hypothermia. Just what was the Ranger suffering from?
Although it was only late afternoon, Neroon decided to get some sleep as well. Pushing back the pain in his leg all day was now taking its toll on him.
It was still raining outside and the nightly cold was already returning during the day. Marcus was now using their only thermo blanket and that presented Neroon with a dilemma. He also needed the thermo blanket to stay warm during his nap.
Sighing, he realized that he didn't have a choice. He'd have to lie down behind Marcus so they could both use the thermo blanket. Reminding himself that this was the only way they could both stay warm, he sat down first and then stretched onto his right side, spooning up behind Marcus.
The Ranger didn't stir and remained deeply asleep. Neroon tried to get into a comfortable position and ended up slipping one arm beneath Marcus' head, pulling the Ranger back against him until Marcus' head rested on Neroon’s shoulder. Then he tucked the thermo blanket around them.
Neroon suddenly found his face buried in Marcus' hair and puzzled about its alien texture. Involuntarily, his other arm ended up on Marcus' hip. Valen help me, but this feels good! Neroon thought alarmed. I have never before held someone in my arms. Valara never allowed me to stay close after we mated, but with Marcus… Valen, what am I thinking? I can't be thinking this! Marcus admitted to being in love with me! I can't abuse his trust!
Confused, Neroon wanted to pull back, crawl to his feet and go sleep in the opposite corner of the cave, even if it meant braving the cold. But Marcus suddenly whimpered and Neroon couldn't abandon the Ranger, so he stayed put, holding Marcus tight through the next hours.
///
During the night Neroon woke because Marcus was talking incoherently in his sleep. A quick examination of the Ranger's vitals showed that Marcus was still running a high fever. Neroon pushed the thermo blanket down so he could reach for a vial filled with pills, which he'd set aside earlier. The label said that the medication would lower a patient's fever and he now removed two pills. After taking hold of the bottled water, Neroon gently nudged Marcus awake.
"Uh?" Marcus moaned as he struggled back to consciousness. During his sleep he'd been balancing between sanity and insanity. William and Hasina continued to appear in his nightmares and were driving him crazy.
"Marcus, you need to swallow these pills," Neroon instructed and helped the Ranger sit upright. "Here, drink this!"
Marcus obediently swallowed the meds and water, feeling warm and confused. He'd expected to look into William's eyes when he'd woken up. In his dreams he was back on Arisia, reliving that fateful night. Every time that he woke up and found himself in Neroon's presence, he needed a moment to realize that this was really happening.
"I do not know how to help you heal," Neroon admitted. "I do not know what ails you."
Marcus wished he had the answers Neroon needed, but the moments before Neroon had found him were gone. He didn't remember why he'd fallen through the escape hatch or why his hands were burned. "You're doing great," he assured the Minbari. "You care… that means a lot to me."
Neroon remembered Marcus’ earlier confession that the Ranger was in love with him and felt confused because his own feelings were changing too. Since Marcus had been injured he felt strongly protective of the Ranger. Marcus said that he fell in love with me when we left Babylon 5. Shortly after that I got injured. Did my injury trigger some kind of protectiveness and love on Marcus' part and is the same happening now to me? Do I want to feel about Marcus in this way?
The truth was that he'd never truly experienced anything close to passion. Valara had only reluctantly given in to proceed with the mating rituals and had never shown any desire. But with Marcus things were different. Marcus wanted him!
I do not know what to do about this, Neroon realized, as he helped Marcus lie down again. The Ranger was tightly pressed against him, clinging to him like a lifeline. "Go back to sleep," Neroon ordered, and tucked the thermo blanket in around them. The cold had frozen the droplets that had remained behind near the entrance and Neroon stared at the ice.
Tomorrow he'd try to repair the flyer so they could finally leave this planet. Marcus needed a healer and they were running out of food supplies. He didn't know much about fixing Narn flyers but he'd do his best.
Marcus settled down again in his arms and Neroon suddenly felt something moist on his shirt. Cocking his head, he tried to find the source of the sudden moisture. Marcus was drooling in his sleep. Amused, he smiled. If anyone else had dared to drool on his uniform he'd have lectured this person strongly, but he couldn't grow angry with Marcus. Another sign that his demeanour was softening.
His reactions baffled him. Neroon had never expected to grow to like Marcus. Still inwardly torn between liking Marcus and trying to distance himself from these feelings, he closed his eyes and returned to sleep.
///
The next morning Neroon roused Marcus from his sleep. Hooded eyes, filled with fever and anguish, opened and managed to lock eyes with him. Neroon had listened to the Ranger’s raving for the second half of the night. Marcus' sleep hadn't been restful. But at least now Neroon knew what had happened during the Shadow attack and why Marcus had promised his brother to become a Ranger. It had all been done out of guilt.
"Marcus? I am going to return to the flyer and endeavor to carry out all the necessary repairs. I want you to stay here. Do you understand? Do not try to follow me." Neroon gently squeezed Marcus' right shoulder. Marcus' hands were hidden beneath the thermo blanket and Neroon cringed at the thought of having to apply the balm again. He'd do that once he got back from the flyer.
"I'm thirsty," Marcus mumbled in a raspy tone. His throat felt like sand paper and his arms ached. His hands were numb and Marcus lacked the courage to peek beneath the thermo blanket and find out more about the state they were in.
Neroon supported Marcus as the Ranger drank from the water. It worried Neroon that the fever refused to die. There had to be something he could do to lower it further. Maybe give Marcus two more pills? "Here, swallow these." Neroon put the pills on Marcus' tongue and placed the bottle back to the Ranger's lips.
"I'm sorry," Marcus muttered after drinking his fill.
"What for?" Neroon helped Marcus sit upright and steadied the Ranger as the younger man leaned against the cave wall.
"For being useless," Marcus looked at Neroon and the Ranger sighed deeply. "I was supposed to protect *you* and now you've got to take care of *me* instead."
"Do not concern yourself with that," Neroon said slowly. "You are a warrior and so am I. Our code of honor dictates that we watch out for each other."
Marcus smiled hearing those words. Neroon calling him a warrior was probably the biggest compliment the Minbari would ever give him. "Thank you, Neroon."
"I will be back later. Is there anything you need before I head for the flyer?"
"No," Marcus replied. The smile remained glued to his face. "I can manage." He watched as Neroon pushed himself to his feet and then marched towards the entrance of the cave. "Your injury's healing," Marcus realized. He knew that Minbari were fast healers, but this speedy recovery surprised even Marcus.
"We can remove the splint in a few days." Neroon looked once more over his shoulder to make sure that Marcus was comfortable and then headed for the flyer.
Marcus leaned his head back and pulled up the thermo blanket. Today it didn't feel as suffocatingly hot as yesterday. Now that he was alone he got a chance to mentally review everything that had happened since his accident. Neroon had taken care of him, not even uttering a single complaint. It surprised the Ranger that Neroon went through the trouble to make sure he wasn't in too much pain. But then again, they needed each other… or didn't they? Neroon was once more moving about. Although Neroon walked awkwardly and faltered at times, it was clear that Neroon no longer needed Marcus' help.
"I can't just lie here while he's working on the flyer. Neroon doesn't know how to repair a Narn ship!" Marcus wanted to push away the thermo blanket and to do so he had to move his hands. The pain that shot through his hands and arms alarmed him. Using his hands wasn't an option right now and feeling useless, he remained lying in the corner of the cave. His thoughts ran in circles as his worries increased. Injured like this, he wouldn't be able to get Neroon to Nafys and he would only be a burden to Neroon.
///
Three hours later Neroon returned to the cave. He'd surprised even himself and had managed to make all necessary repairs. Well, he had to admit that Marcus had already done most work yesterday. He'd also found out that Marcus had most probably received a severe electrical shock yesterday morning.
After fixing the loose wiring, all the systems came back online. They could leave the planet right now and according to his calculations they would reach Nafys in 17 hours. But now he faced the challenge of getting Marcus onboard.
Neroon checked on Marcus, who was once more asleep and still running a high fever. Hopefully, Seijro knew of a healer on Nafys who could tend to Marcus' wounds.
"Marcus, you need to wake up now." Neroon watched Marcus closely and he was relieved when he noticed that the green eyes were a little more lucid. "I need you to walk. Can you do that?"
Marcus blinked his eyes a few times, trying to focus on Neroon. Momentarily he didn't know where he was. "Neroon?"
"I have repaired the controls of the Narn flyer. We can leave Udor."
The words only slowly penetrated Marcus' mind, but in the end he realized that Neroon wanted him to get to his feet.
Neroon steadied Marcus and wrapped the thermo blanket around the Ranger's shoulders. He'd return for the food and water supply once Marcus was settled safely in the co-pilot's seat.
They hardly spoke as they made their way to the flyer. The suns burning rays beat down mercilessly on them and every now and then a soft moan escaped Marcus' lips.
Finally, they arrived at the flyer and Neroon helped Marcus inside. "Sit down," he instructed and strapped the Ranger into the seat. "I am going to get our supplies and then we will leave. Are you all right?"
Marcus stared at his blistered and burned hands. The burned skin had begun to peel off, leaving angry blackened and red flesh behind.
"I will apply the balm once more before we leave," Neroon promised and turned around to return to the cave. As he looked back, he mentally cringed seeing the lost expression in Marcus' eyes.
Part 5
Neroon kept a close eye on Marcus and on the controls. Although the flyer was operative again, it wasn't completely functional. It would take them to Nafys and that was all Neroon cared about.
Marcus was strapped into the co-pilot's seat and still feverish. Soft, intelligible words left the Ranger's lips occasionally and Neroon no longer strained to decipher them. He'd succeeded once and Marcus' words hadn't made any sense at all. It had been gibberish.
As he checked their progress, Neroon felt relieved. Nafys had appeared on screen and he planned on landing on the planet's surface shortly. He'd fed their final co-ordinates to the computer and was eager to talk to Seijro, but for different reasons than before.
When they'd started on this journey he'd wanted to talk to Seijro because he wanted to lead the Warrior Caste. Now he wanted to meet with Seijro because Marcus needed immediate medical attention. Discussing their caste problems came second, Neroon realized, startled. When had Marcus' health become of more importance than his caste?
Could it be that he that he was falling in love with the Ranger? Only a few days ago he'd told Marcus that nothing could ever happen between them, that he didn't return the younger man's feelings. But now Neroon found that he did care about Marcus, making the Ranger's health his first priority, which wasn't like him. His caste came first! Marcus wasn't even Minbari!
"Ne… roon?"
Hearing his name jolted him back to reality. "Marcus?" He searched the Ranger's eyes, which had opened.
"Water?" Marcus felt weak and his hands sizzled with pain. Neroon's form was a big blur and he didn't know where he was. This didn't resemble the cave he'd woken up in earlier.
Neroon left his seat to retrieve the water and lifted the bottle to Marcus' lips. When he realized that the Ranger was trying to raise his hands to take hold of the bottle, he said, "Rest your hands, Marcus. Let me do the work."
"Are we on route for Nafys?" Marcus asked and sighed as Neroon covered his blistered hands with soothing balm.
"We will arrive in one hour." Neroon wrapped gauze loosely around Marcus' hands.
"The leg hardly bothers you any more," Marcus commented pleased.
"It is healing well because you did a good job of splinting it."
"Was that a compliment?" Marcus allowed himself to smile. Apparently Neroon still felt comfortable around him, in spite of his earlier confession that he loved the Minbari.
"I want you to take two of these pills. They will lessen your pain." Neroon caught the helpless expression in Marcus' eyes as the Ranger extended his tongue for Neroon to place the meds on. Neroon thanked Valen that only his leg had been injured and not his hands.
Marcus swallowed the pills without protest and allowed Neroon to place his hands back beneath the thermo blanket. "I'm in still in love with you," Marcus suddenly blurted out, uncertain why his subconscious had chosen this particular moment to repeat his earlier confession. He averted his eyes and honestly didn't know what kind of answer to expect from Neroon.
Neroon never expected to hear that admission again. "Why did you say that?"
"Because I need you to understand." Marcus was breathing rapidly, fighting his own fears. "I've never loved anyone like this before. I guess I wished you'd give me a chance to prove that, but… I do understand." He was exhausting himself, but he no longer cared. Now that they'd reached Nafys, his mission had come to an end. Delenn had instructed him to make sure Neroon arrived at his destination and he had. Now he'd wait for Delenn's new orders to come through.
"Does that mean so much to you? Having a chance to prove you love me?" Neroon didn't know why he'd asked that or where this conversation was headed. He only knew that he cared more for Marcus than he judged wise. The attraction was becoming mutual and he couldn't believe that he was actually considering giving in to Marcus.
"No one has ever given me that chance. You'd be the first." Marcus decided to risk it all. "I've never before declared my love to someone." The look Neroon gave him made him apprehensive. Neroon's expression was unreadable.
"I will consider your request," Neroon said softly, unsure what he'd just agreed to. Was he really willing to accept Marcus as his mate because he was infatuated with the Ranger?
"What did you say?" Marcus' eyes grew big. He'd expected an indignant reply, not this.
"I need time to think," Neroon clarified, manually adjusting their co-ordinates as their destination appeared on screen. He planned on putting the flyer down on the outskirts of the town Seijro was living in.
"I can't believe you said that," Marcus mused aloud. "What changed your mind?"
"You did," Neroon admitted honestly. "Now go back to sleep. Hopefully, the next time you wake up there will be a healer to check on your hands and fever."
Marcus closed his eyes, feeling hopeful for the first time since they'd set out on this mission. Neroon had already given him more than Susan ever had. Neroon had acknowledged the attraction and maybe, just maybe, Marcus would get his chance.
///
"Marcus?"
Marcus stirred in his sleep, hearing his name, but was reluctant to open his eyes. He'd been soundly asleep, and for once his nightmares hadn't tormented him. Being asleep felt good… lying down felt good.
Lying down? Marcus wondered just when Neroon had installed a bed in the flyer. But he was definitely lying down, a soft mattress beneath him, warm blankets tucked in around his frame.
"Marcus? Open your eyes. You need to wake up." Concerned, Neroon spoke louder this time. "Seijro's healer needs to examine your injuries and wants you awake."
After landing the flyer Neroon had set out alone. It hadn't taken him long to locate Seijro, as his information had been very detailed and accurate. Seijro had been surprised to see his relative, but had quickly agreed to help as Neroon had briefed the older Minbari on his companion's state. They'd moved Marcus to Seijro's house and had sent for the local healer.
Neroon had been amazed to find that life on Nafys didn't differ that much from every day life on Minbar. Seijro had taken a few servants with him and they'd held on to the old Minbari customs and rituals.
As Marcus' eyes slowly opened, Neroon smiled reassuringly. He'd helped the healer to undress Marcus and together they had given the Ranger a sponge bath in an attempt to lower Marcus' temperature. Now, Marcus was covered with warm blankets and they'd rigged the Minbari sleeping platform so it was horizontal, figuring Marcus would be more comfortable resting in this manner.
"Where… are… we?" Marcus tried to keep his eyes open, but had difficulty not falling asleep again. The burning sensation in his hands and arms had faded and he wanted to sink back into oblivion.
"Nafys. We found Seijro."
Marcus followed Neroon's glance and stared into the grey eyes of an elderly Minbari. He smiled, seeing the beard the Minbari had grown. This Minbari reminded him a little of Draal. The grey eyes carried the same intensity.
"I am Seijro," he introduced himself. "Neroon told me that you are a Ranger?"
"Yes, Entil'Zha ordered me to get Neroon here in one piece." Marcus was finally waking up a little. The heavy fog that had clouded his thinking was retreating.
"Marcus, this is my physician. He left Minbar with me many cycles ago. Nad wants to examine your injuries."
Another elderly Minbari, this time dressed in the robes of the Religious Caste, bowed his head.
Marcus tried to return the courtesy, but his neck had grown stiff and his muscles protested. "Thank you," he said instead.
"Neroon, we will retire now. We have other matters to discuss." Seijro walked over to the doorway and waited for Neroon to join him.
Neroon rose from the chair he'd been sitting in and briefly rested his right hand on Marcus' brow, feeling the fever beneath his fingertips. "I trust you will listen to the physician's advice. We will talk later, once you are rested."
"Thank you, Neroon. I'd like to talk later," Marcus said and a hint of seduction slipped into his tone. He didn't know whether Neroon had noticed that, but the warrior didn't react to the teasing. As soon as Neroon and Seijro had left his room, Marcus drew in a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the pain he'd feel once the physician examined his hands.
///
"You made the right decision," Seijro said as he handed Neroon a cup of ceremonial tea. "From what you have told me, Shakiri is no longer acting for the benefit of the caste."
"Shakiri will start a civil war, which I want to prevent." Neroon sipped from his tea, thankful that his host was willing to listen. "Shakiri has to be stopped."
"And that is why you came here," Seijro realized. Neroon had told him of the death threats and he asked, "Do you think they followed you here?"
Neroon met Seijro's eyes. "Before I landed the flyer I picked up on several ships, but I do not know whether they have been following me. They were not Minbari ships."
"That means nothing," Seijro said resolved. "You arrived here in a Narn flyer and you are Minbari."
"Noted." Neroon knew that Seijro had made a valid point. "What about placing guards near the doors?"
"I gave that order the moment you arrived."
"Will you return to Minbar with me?" Neroon hoped Seijro would. The elderly warrior was the only one who could stop Shakiri, his son.
"Yes," Seijro started, "but…"
"Yes?" Neroon shifted restlessly on the couch. What was Seijro's condition?
"Am I right to assume that you want me to deny Shakiri's right to lead the caste any longer and then hand that privilege over to you?" Seijro watched Neroon very closely. "You are ambitious, Neroon. Why would you not make the same mistakes Shakiri has made? When I named him my successor he only had his caste's best interest in mind."
Neroon realized in that instant that Seijro didn't want him to replace Shakiri and was dumbstruck. He'd always assumed that Seijro approved of his ambitions and his other character traits. Finding out now was disconcerting. It also ruined his plans. It was his right to lead the Warrior Caste!
"I am not driven by power like Shakiri," Neroon said eventually. "I care for my people. I do not crave personal gain."
"Ah," Seijro mumbled and leaned back into the comfort of his chair. "You do not call this 'personal gain', becoming the leader of the Warrior Caste?"
Seijro's words crushed Neroon's dreams and hopes. The elderly Minbari wouldn't support him!
"Now, there is someone else I think would lead the caste splendidly." Seijro observed Neroon’s reactions. He trusted his relative, just didn't trust Neroon's ambition.
"Who do you have in mind?" Neroon hadn’t given up yet. Maybe he could change Seijro's opinion.
"My youngest son, Hadar."
Neroon remembered his youngest nephew. Hadar led the Moon Shields, who were traditionally responsible for Minbar's defenses. The young warrior had always been more of an introvert, reflective, and not as aggressive as Shakiri. Neroon hated to admit it, but Hadar would make a good caste leader. He'd only met his nephew a few times, but Hadar had struck him as a compassionate leader. Changing Seijro's mind would be hard now that he knew the competition.
"I will support Hadar," Neroon said calmly. Seijro probably expected that Neroon would lose his temper, but he wouldn't give the older Minbari that satisfaction. He would bide his time.
"Good," Seijro stated pleased, wondering if Neroon had really changed or was just putting on a good show. Resuming his role of host, he said, "You should ask Nad to examine your injured leg as well."
"I want him to check on Marcus first," Neroon said determinedly. "My leg is healing and Marcus has been getting worse."
"How did the both of you get injured?"
"The freighter we were traveling on was attacked by Raiders and we had to make an emergency landing. Our flyer was damaged and when Marcus tried to repair the controls an accident occurred." Neroon emptied his cup of tea. "When will we leave for Minbar?"
"Shortly," Seijro assured him. His curiosity piqued, he asked, "You seem to care for this Human."
"He has won my respect," Neroon explained hesitantly. He still wasn't sure about his feelings for Marcus and talking about the Ranger only added to his confusion.
"I wonder how he did that… after all, he is only a Human," Seijro remarked casually.
Inwardly, Neroon grew enraged. Marcus was more than *just* a Human! Marcus was a Ranger, a worthy opponent, a good friend and… maybe a possible mate?
"I will arrange for our return home. I want you to check in with Nad and let him have a look at your injured leg," Seijro said decisively as he got to his feet. "I will let you know when we are ready to leave."
Neroon stayed behind alone. Seijro's remark still infuriated him, but had also reminded him that the Warrior Caste would never accept a leader that had a Human mate. Neroon finally realized what dreadful choice he would have to make if Seijro gave in and named him the leader of the Warrior Caste.
He'd have to choose between his ambition, his dream to one day lead the Warrior Caste and end all arguments, or Marcus. The Ranger loved him, had practically begged Neroon to give him a chance and Neroon had said he'd think about it, had given Marcus hope.
Neroon's cup banged on to the table as he growled in exhaustion. What was more important to him, his caste or Marcus?