Part 6
Returning
to Life.
Glorfindel screamed in
agony, returning to life, to consciousness. His entire body burned with pain
and he was shaking violently, his fingers opening and closing frantically. Suddenly
hands descended onto his body, and he reacted the only way he could, by kicking
at the offending limbs. No one would touch him against his will ever again!
“Calm yourself,
Glorfindel. It is I, Erestor.” His heart bled, seeing the panic in Glorfindel’s
dilated pupils. Mandos’ words returned to him; Glorfindel wouldn’t remember he
had been reclaimed and that a bond had been formed between them. The Vala had
taken that knowledge away from his friend. Erestor sighed; it was a sacrifice
worth making, for it had brought Glorfindel back to Middle-Earth.
After Erestor had regained
consciousness, he had found the wound on his throat closed and his body once
more filled with blood, doubtlessly the Vala’s doing. Taking advantage of the
fact that Glorfindel had still been unconscious, he had wrapped the blond’s
still dripping wrists with stripes of his cloak. After grabbing a blanket from
the bed, he had then wrapped it around the blond to give Glorfindel a sense of
warmth and safety. But covering the
Glorfindel tried to make
sense of what was happening. The last thing he remembered was being ravaged by
an Uruk-Hai. The memories seemed to be fading, but he still vaguely remembered
the pain as the vile creature had forced itself on him.
Glorfindel’s face, which
had been slammed into the wall, hurt, and he couldn’t be bothered to talk. He
simply stared at the dark-haired Elf kneeling in front of him. It took him a
moment to identify his savior. At first, he had thought Elrond had come to his
rescue, but now he saw it was Erestor. /What is he doing here? And how did he
manage to get here in the first place?/ He recalled the embarrassing
performance Erestor had given when handling a sword, and he couldn’t believe
the advisor had managed to sneak into Orthanc unharmed.
“Hush now, mellon-nîn, and
calm yourself. You are safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” Erestor
forced back his tears, seeing the battered and bruised state the blond was in.
It was hard to reconcile this scared Elf with the loving Glorfindel he had
claimed in the Great Halls, and he cursed the Vala for not taking away more of
the blond’s pain and memories. “I will take you home.”
“Ho…me…?” Glorfindel
stuttered and wished he could pass out and forget this had ever happened. Why
hadn’t Mandos claimed him? Suddenly a warm and gentle wave washed over him when
Erestor wrapped an arm around his waist to help him onto his feet. He had
expected to flinch away from the touch, but instead he found himself eagerly
leaning into it.
Seeing the surprise in
Glorfindel’s eyes, Erestor tried to comfort him. “I promise that everything
will be all right in the end. Please trust me.”
Glorfindel continued to
stare at his friend. What in Elbereth’s name was the scholar doing here? /What
if they find him…?/ He failed to finish that thought. He was afraid to think of
what might happen if the Orcs and Uruk-Hai found the raven-haired Elf. “Leave…
me… be…hind…” He would slow his friend down and they couldn’t take that risk.
“Oh, no. I just found you.
I am not letting you go ever again.” Erestor maintained a tight hold on the
blond and then lifted Glorfindel, carrying him in his arms. The expression in
the
“What… are you… doing?”
Instinctively, Glorfindel rested one hand at the nape of Erestor’s neck,
holding on for support.
“Carrying you out of
here.” Erestor soundlessly moved through the corridors, pausing occasionally to
hide when he encountered Saruman’s creatures. Glorfindel was now clinging to
him, shaking like a leaf. He wanted to soothe the blond, but knew he had to
keep quiet instead, as he didn’t want to draw attention to them.
Pain coursed through his
lower body and abdomen, but Glorfindel bit it down, realizing they needed to
move soundlessly. He still hadn’t completely accepted the fact that Erestor had
come for him. The scholar usually spent his days in the library or Elrond’s
study. What had possessed Elrond to allow Erestor to come after him? It was
amazing that Erestor hadn’t been caught yet!
Pressing both of them
close to the wall, Erestor used his Elven cloak to hide them from view when an
Uruk-Hai passed them by. He could easily have taken out the creature, but he
preferred to remain unnoticed.
After the Uruk-Hai had
vanished from sight, Erestor judged it safe to continue.
Glorfindel briefly closed
his eyes, realizing with a sense of dread that he was too weak to defend
himself, let alone Erestor, should they be caught.
“It won’t be long now,”
said Erestor reassuringly. “And once we have left Orthanc behind us you will
feel better.” The bond that had been established between them in the Great
Halls would sustain Glorfindel and make him stronger. All he needed to do was
to stay close. It didn’t matter that the blond didn’t love him back. All that
mattered was that Glorfindel was in his arms.
“Better,” whispered
Glorfindel. After what Saruman and his creature had done to him, he would never
feel ‘better’, but he was grateful that the memories weren’t that invading.
Even the pain in his lower body faded somewhat, when he rested his head against
Erestor’s shoulder.
“I know it is hard to
believe, but I promise you will feel better.” Concentrating on his love for
Glorfindel, he briefly rested his chin on top of the blond’s head.
Glorfindel startled when a
sudden warmth and a sense of deep comfort traveled through his body and he let
Erestor’s words soothe him. For one moment he allowed himself to drift on the
warm feelings. He had no idea where they were coming from, but he welcomed them
nonetheless.
Feeling Glorfindel relax
against him, Erestor headed for the concealed doorway through which he had
entered. To his dismay, he found it guarded by an Uruk-Hai, who hadn’t been
there when he had arrived.
Looking up to find out why
Erestor had stopped walking, Glorfindel’s breath caught, seeing one of
Saruman’s creatures only a few feet away from him. His eyes pleadingly sought
out Erestor’s, begging him to leave this corridor. He gasped sharply when
Erestor slowly lowered him onto the floor. What was that Elf thinking? Erestor
was a scholar, not a warrior! He couldn’t possibly take out that monster!
“Don’t… He will… kill…you.” He wasn’t worth dying for; not any more.
“Stay here.” Erestor made
eye contact with Glorfindel and smiled reassuringly, seeing the fear in the azure
eyes. “He won’t hurt you.” His heart ached, seeing Glorfindel in such anguish.
When Mandos had said he would take away Glorfindel’s pain, he had hoped the
blond would stop hurting. But apparently the memories were still there. /Mandos
could have shown mercy and let Glorfindel remember I love him. That might have
comforted him./ But Mandos had decided differently.
“You… can… not…”
Glorfindel could only think about stopping Erestor from carrying out this
suicide mission. “He will… kill… you.”
“No, he won’t.” Erestor
wished he could press a kiss on the tangled blond mane, but he knew
instinctively that Glorfindel wouldn’t allow it. Once they were back in
Imladris, Glorfindel would seek comfort in Elrond’s arms and not his. “Just be
quiet and do not get involved.”
Glorfindel stared at
Erestor in obvious shock when the raven-haired Elf drew a hunting knife from
its sheath. Why hadn’t he noticed before that Erestor was carrying weapons?
That fact only registered now. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Erestor carry
weapons before.
Erestor exchanged one more
look with Glorfindel and then vanished from the blond’s sight, sneaking up on
the Uruk-Hai, which he needed to take out quickly and quietly. He couldn’t
allow the creature to alert others.
Glorfindel wondered if he
was still caught up in some sort of dream when he saw Erestor appear behind the
Uruk-Hai. Then the raven-haired Elf acted almost too fast for him to see, and a
moment later a sharp blade had slashed the creature’s throat. The Uruk-Hai’s
eyes widened and he seemed to gag on his blood when it erupted from his throat.
Erestor quickly attained a
tight hold on the creature and eased it down soundlessly.
Glorfindel gasped, seeing
the predatory and calculating expression in Erestor’s eyes. The raven-haired
Elf no longer resembled the scholar and advisor, whom he had known for
centuries. /Did I ever know him at all?/
Erestor cleaned his knife
by running it along the Uruk-Hai’s chest and then sheathed it again before
returning to Glorfindel’s side.
“I do not… understand,”
whispered Glorfindel, stunned by Erestor’s actions. His world was tumbling down
around him and he felt lost now that not even Erestor was what he had thought
him to be.
While gathering Glorfindel
in his arms and lifting the blond, Erestor tried to explain. “I was originally
trained as a spy. I served Gil-galad in that capacity during the
“I never… suspected… a
thing,” whispered Glorfindel in a drained tone, resting his head against the
other Elf’s chest. It amazed him that he could still feel this comfortable with
another close. He hadn’t thought that possible. Surprised, he realized he
craved the contact.
“I did not want anyone to
know. I made the decision to start anew and being a scholar suited me. When you
joined Elrond’s household I saw no reason to change that.” Carrying Glorfindel
through the dark tunnel, he felt the blond relax further against him, which was
an unexpected, but pleasant sensation. “I will keep you safe until you are
strong enough to take care of yourself again.”
Hearing those words
soothed Glorfindel, whose mind was in an upheaval from what he had endured
these last few days. “I…still wonder… why… I… am alive.” He had always believed
that an Elf who had been raped would travel to the Halls of Mandos. Or was it
because they had forced him to come as well? He winced, realizing he was
condemned to live out the rest of his life in shame.
“Maybe Mandos thought
having you there once was enough?” Erestor tried to go for a teasing note, but
failed miserably. He sighed relieved, finally fleeing the depressing darkness
of the tunnel, but the sight that now awaited them was horrid as well.
Glorfindel’s heart
clenched in agony, seeing the damage Saruman and his creatures had done to the
once beautiful valley. The trees were gone and the Isen had been stopped in its
tracks. “What a… terrible waste…” Nature had been raped as well.
Erestor pressed the
trembling blond close to his chest and carried on with stern determination. He
dodged a group of patrolling Orcs, and then headed for the safety of the
forest, where he had prepared a cave for their arrival. He had left behind his
horse and the supplies he had taken with him. He was fairly confident Saruman’s
creatures wouldn’t find them there. They would expect him to keep running and
to put as much distance as possible between them and that was just what he was
counting on.
Glorfindel, who was still
trying to cope with everything that had happened to him, couldn’t help being
fascinated, seeing Erestor’s purposeful and stealthy ways. He had never
expected to find a warrior hidden beneath the scholar. /But I can dwell on that
later. First, I need to rest…/
“Hold out a little
longer,” said Erestor encouragingly, seeing Glorfindel’s eyes grow vacant. He
might need the blond awake. “I know a well-concealed cave where we can rest.”
Too tired to meddle with
Erestor’s plans, Glorfindel allowed his friend to take charge. His head was
still reeling from the revelation that Erestor had a hidden side, --one, which
he had never suspected existed. It made him wonder what else the raven-haired
Elf was hiding.
Erestor headed for the
direction the cave was in, wanting Glorfindel to get a chance to rest. /And I
need to sort out my thoughts and feelings. So many things happened since I left
Imladris. Mandos truly upended my life./
And the amazing thing was,
-something which he only now realized-, he had been in the Great Halls and
hadn’t even bothered to call out for Gil-galad. His every sense had been
reaching out for Glorfindel instead.
Looking at the charge in
his arms, he found that Glorfindel had slipped into a deep sleep, which would
hopefully aid his recovery process. “I will take good care of you, melamin.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor settled Glorfindel
on the blanket, cautiously laying the blond down.
Taking advantage of the
fact that his charge was unconscious, Erestor ventured outside again and
collected some spring water. Once he returned to Glorfindel’s side, he kneeled
and attended to his friend’s injuries. First, he gently removed the blood and
semen from the blond’s backside and then carefully washed the long legs. When
he was done with his lower body, he moved onto the chest, arms and finally he
uncovered the bandaged wrists. Relieved, he found that the wounds had closed
and were healing. Mandos must have strengthened their healing ability for them
to have survived.
After taking them off the
horse’s back, he reached into his saddle bags and withdrew the shirt and
leggings, which he had brought with him. Cautiously, he manhandled Glorfindel
whilst sliding on the leggings. Glorfindel was a dead weight and Erestor was
panting softly when he had finished with the shirt. All he had to do now was
tend to the tangled, blond mess of hair.
Sitting down behind
Glorfindel, he pulled the blond close to his chest. With grim determination he
combed the dried blood clods from the flaxen mane. Searching his saddle bags
again, he uncovered a few leather strings and used them to braid the golden
hair. “I am sorry that I cannot offer you a decent bath, but I am sure we will
reach Imladris within a few days and then you can take all the baths you want.”
Glorfindel blinked once,
hearing Erestor’s apologetic tone. He had been awake for a few minutes now and
had remained motionless, enjoying the feeling of Erestor braiding his hair. The
tenderness in the raven-haired Elf’s touches had kept him relaxed. He should
have panicked, feeling a warm body behind him, but he didn’t. His reactions
baffled him. He laid back his head, resting it against Erestor’s shoulder. He
had never before realized that he trusted Erestor this much. “Thank you…”
Unexpectedly hearing
Glorfindel’s voice startled Erestor, who had thought the blond sound asleep. “I
regret being unable to offer you more comfort.”
Glorfindel shook his head.
His hands traveled down the shirt, which he was wearing and a shy smile surfaced
on his face. “You came well-prepared.”
Erestor was delighted to
hear Glorfindel’s remark and handed the blond a small flask. “Drink the
miruvor. You need the extra strength. It will take us a few days to reach
Imladris; they will be searching for us.”
Glorfindel’s hand trembled
when his fingers closed over the flask, sipping slowly. The potion warmed his
throat and then settled in his stomach, causing a pleasant sensation to spread
through him. Next, Erestor removed the flask and pressed some lembas into his
hand.
“Try to eat?” Erestor’s
heart pounded with happiness now that Glorfindel seemed to accept his closeness
and support. It was the best thing that could happen to them. His love for the
blond easily slid over the invisible connection that now existed between them,
strengthening Glorfindel.
After trying to nibble a
few bites, Glorfindel gave up. “My… jaw hurts.” He flinched momentarily,
recalling that the Uruk-Hai had thrown him face first into the wall.
Suddenly fear clawed at
him and his hand settled over his stomach. “Oh, by the Grace of the Valar… No…”
Glorfindel’s panic,
traveling down the golden cord that bound them, hit Erestor, and he
instinctively wrapped his arms around the blond, not considering how badly his
charge might react to being held like that. “What is it?” Something terrified
Glorfindel and he was determined to find out what it was. “You can tell me.
Please confide in me. I won’t betray your trust.”
Glorfindel closed his
eyes, grateful that Erestor wasn’t looking at him. “I do not want to tell you.”
He had no idea how Erestor would react when learning the horrible truth. But in
the end, he gave in. “Saruman… cast a spell on me…”
“What kind of spell?”
Erestor kept his tone warm and reassuring.
“He wanted me to
conceive…” Glorfindel tightly closed his eyes in an effort to keep the tears
from falling.
“Conceive?” Erestor
frowned; had he misheard?
“He wants to start a new
race…” Unable to force his tears back any longer, they flowed down his face.
Acting on impulse, his hand clawed at Erestor’s arm, which was folded tightly
across his chest. “He… forced me and then… then… the Uruk-…Hai…”
Erestor whispered softly
into Glorfindel’s ear, “Hush, mellon-nîn, your ordeal is over now.” If he
could, he would carry the blond’s pain and burden, but alas…..
“No, you do not
understand…” Glorfindel cocked his head and reluctantly looked over his
shoulder at his companion. “I am afraid that I… I conceived… and will have to…
carry this… this…”
Erestor smoothed a braid away
from Glorfindel’s face and held the blond’s gaze. “The spell might not have
worked.”
“But what if it did?”
Glorfindel found he couldn’t look away from Erestor’s compassionate eyes. “Do
you think Elrond knows of a way to end a pregnancy?”
Erestor nodded once. He
wasn’t sure if herbs could undo this magic of the darkest kind, but he needed
to reassure Glorfindel. “We will worry about that later. First I need to get
you back to Imladris… to Elrond.” At hearing that name hope blazed in the azure
eyes and Erestor’s heart broke just a little further. /If only you would look
like that when thinking of me./
“Elrond… Elrond can help
me…” Talking had exhausted him and Glorfindel’s eyes slowly grew vacant again.
“That is it, mellon-nîn,
go back to sleep.” He waited until Glorfindel was sound asleep and then pressed
a chaste kiss on the golden hair. “I will do whatever is necessary to see you
happy again. You will always have my support, no matter what the future
brings.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel woke slowly,
being moved about, and blinked sleepily. Looking about, his gaze immediately
fastened on Erestor. The dark-haired Elf had led the stallion outside and now
first folded and then draped the blanket over the saddle. Realizing he was just
outside of the cave, lying on soft grass, he continued to observe the
raven-haired Elf. Erestor then walked toward him and lowered himself onto his
heels. Glorfindel appreciated it that they were level again; he felt less
vulnerable now that Erestor wasn’t towering over him. “Are we leaving?”
Erestor nodded once. “A
search party of Orcs passed by without noticing us. We can leave now.”
Glorfindel nervously
moistened his lips, staring at the stallion, which patiently waited for the
Elves to mount. “I am not sure I can ride for a long period of time.” His body
still ached.
“I already thought so and
we will stop when Ithil rises.” That would be one, two hours at maximum. “But
now we need to get you on Bronwe’s back. Do you think you can stand up?”
“I am not sure.”
Glorfindel drew in a deep breath and began to push himself to his feet. Erestor
watched him closely.
Waiting for Glorfindel to
get to his feet was one of the hardest things he had ever done. His instincts
urged him to help, but he wanted Glorfindel to try first.
Glorfindel released a deep
sigh after struggling to his feet, but then swayed. Still too groggy to balance
himself properly, he suddenly felt Erestor’s arm around his shoulders,
steadying him. /Why don’t I flinch at his touch? How is it that he can get this
close to me? I never realized I trusted him that much./
Pretending not to see the
puzzlement in Glorfindel’s eyes, Erestor guided his charge to his horse.
Glorfindel suddenly realized
his predicament. There was no way he could mount that horse. The lingering pain
in his lower body wouldn’t let him. “I cannot…” Lowering his eyes, he stared
listlessly at the ground.
Erestor’s eyes swam with
tears, but didn’t release them. Leaning in closer, he whispered softly into the
stallion’s ear.
Glorfindel gasped
momentarily, seeing Bronwe fold his legs beneath him, kneeling down on the
grass.
“But now you can. Let me
help.” Erestor assisted the blond when Glorfindel cautiously climbed onto the
stallion’s back.
Glorfindel now understood
why Erestor had been fussing with the blanket. It served as a pillow and
absorbed most of the impact once the horse got into motion.
“Slowly,” whispered
Erestor and the stallion carefully got back onto its feet. Erestor’s gaze
shifted to Glorfindel and he questioningly searched the azure eyes. “Are you
comfortable?”
“It will do,” replied
Glorfindel, blushing. He felt embarrassed that Erestor had to go through such
great lengths to get him back to Imladris. Movement to his right caught his
attention and now Erestor mounted as well, sliding into place behind him.
“Lean against me.” Erestor
reached past the blond and gathered the reins in his hands. Remaining alert,
now that they were moving, he waited for Glorfindel to either accept his offer
or refuse. His heart missed a beat, feeling his charge lean his back against
his chest. “Tell me when you grow tired.”
Glorfindel nodded
absentmindedly. He still wanted to ask Erestor a million questions, but he didn’t
have the strength to phrase them. He could ask Erestor everything he wanted to
know once they were back in Imladris. “I am not sure I can stay awake.”
“You do not have to,” said
Erestor reassuringly. “Sleep, then.”
Glorfindel sighed tiredly,
rested his head against Erestor’s shoulder and drifted back into sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor told Bronwe to
stop, sensing a threat, which was closing in on them. Glorfindel moved in his
arms and Erestor regretted that the blond’s healing sleep had come to such an
abrupt end.
“What is it?” whispered
Glorfindel, slightly disorientated. Feeling a warm body pressed against him,
momentarily puzzled him, but did not scare him. /Amazing…/
“A group of Orcs has set up
camp to our right,” said Erestor, his sharp eyes now making out the enemy. “And
we need to pass them before we can rest.”
“You will need to take a
different route then,” whispered Glorfindel, afraid to raise his voice. He
dreaded drawing their attention.
“I am not willing to add a
few days to our journey just because they are in our way. You need to return to
Imladris as quickly as possible.” Erestor’s eyes narrowed. “I will deal with
them and then we will continue on our way home.”
Glorfindel looked over his
shoulder at his companion. “How many are there?”
“Eight… No, nine.” Erestor
considered his options. “I want you to stay here.” He slid out of the saddle
and soundlessly landed on his feet.
“But you cannot take them
out alone!” Glorfindel felt torn. He didn’t want to fight those Orcs in his
current condition. He could end up badly injured.
Erestor smiled. “What do
you prefer? Staying up there or resting on the grass?”
“Erestor,” said Glorfindel
in disbelief. “You cannot take them out alone!”
“Let me worry about that,
mellon-nîn, and now answer my question.”
“I will stay up here.”
Glorfindel didn’t want to tire himself by dismounting and then getting onto the
horse’s back again. “We should detour instead.”
Erestor wondered about
Glorfindel’s expression. Was the blond worried about him or…? No, it had to be
something else. “Wait here.” After seeing Glorfindel nod, he leaned in closer
and whispered softly into the stallion’s ear.
Glorfindel tried to catch
the words, but they were in a language unknown to him. /Another mystery./
“Trust me, Glorfindel, I
will be back within a few moments and then we will continue our journey.”
“Whatever you do,” said
Glorfindel, hesitantly, “Do not get yourself killed.” Erestor was his lifeline
and he wasn’t sure he could survive without his friend’s support.
Erestor grew quiet
momentarily, trying hard not to read too much into Glorfindel’s words. /He is
just worried he won’t make it back to Imladris. This is not about
“You are not leaving me,
are you?”
The naked fear that shone
back at him from the depth of those sapphire eyes worried Erestor. It would be
some time before Glorfindel would be able to put these fears behind him. “I
promise to return.” Gingerly, he squeezed the blond’s leg.
Glorfindel stared at the
hand on his knee, but didn’t feel the urge to shake it off. The touch was
soothing, comforting, and he wished Erestor would stay with him, but those Orcs
needed to be dealt with. “I will wait for you.”
Erestor grinned, trying to
do away with the tension that Glorfindel radiated. “You do not really have a choice,
meldir. Bronwe will make sure you stay.” He was overjoyed to see a hesitant
smile on Glorfindel’s face. “I won’t be long.”
Seeing Erestor draw his
sword and disappear into the bushes still amazed Glorfindel. It would take him
some time to get used to this new Erestor. /But I like him… I really do./
TBC
Beta read by Lizzle, thanks!