Title: Still Alive, Still Surviving

Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Juha/ Jonne and Ville/OMC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jonne and Juha find a way to make their relationship work and Ville meets someone new.

Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm not making any money out of these stories!

Jari is mine though!! hehe
Warning: Real Person Slash.
All mistakes are mine.

Part 1

Tommi leaned back in his comfortable chair, put his hands behind his head and studied his younger brother who sat opposite him. “Why did you want to talk to me?” Jonne’s request to talk to him as quickly as possible had surprised him.

Jonne drew in a deep breath and reminded himself how much was at stake here. He didn’t know what he wanted from Tommi exactly, but he needed something! “I met someone,” he said, deciding to start off diplomatically.

Tommi’s eyes widened marginally. Jonne’s directness surprised him. Usually he spent hours getting his younger brother to talk to him about the things that mattered. “Who is it?”

Jonne swallowed hard. “It’s another man.” Tommi knew that he was bisexual, but his older brother had never really had to deal with him having a boyfriend.

Tommi’s eyes widened further. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Do I know him?” His thoughts raced. What did it mean that Jonne had a boyfriend? Would it reduce record sales? Would fewer girls come to the Negative concerts? Could he use this in a way Negative would profit from?

“His name is Juha. I met him during a gig at Hellä.”

Tommi knew the club of course. “And this is something serious? Or just a fling?”

“It’s serious. And Juha feels the same way.”

“And you’re telling me this because…?” Tommi left his sentence unfinished on purpose.

“If it works out, I want Juha and me to be together – to live together.”

Tommi cocked his head. “And that’s a problem, why?”

“Juha lives and works in Helsinki. I live in Tampere.”

“The two cities aren’t far apart.”

“Far enough though. I’m heading there tomorrow. We have no band rehearsals at the moment and you’re setting up the tour. I want to spend as much time as possible with Juha.”

Tommi considered everything he had learned. “What if this becomes public? Have you thought about that? The majority of your audience consists of young girls. Aren’t you worried they might drop you like a hot potato?”

Jonne glared at his older brother. “You should phrase that correctly – are *you* going to drop *me* like a hot potato when sales go down?”

Tommi gave Jonne an apologetic look. “Don’t get me wrong. As your brother, I’m happy that you found someone. I know how depressed you have been lately and being in love is the best thing that can happen to you. But as your manager I worry about the impact it has on your fan base. After all, they are the ones who pay our bills.”

Jonne sighed. “I know that. I realize that it might cause problems, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my personal happiness in favor of record sales.”

“And how does Juha feel about you? What’s he like?” Tommi *was* curious. It was the first time ever that Jonne was seriously considering building a relationship with another man. Until then, Jonne had only had girlfriends, not counting his on and off relationship with Christus.

“Juha is in a similar position, I guess. Being the front man of Reflexion, he –“ Jonne failed to finish his sentence as Tommi interrupted him.

“Are you talking about Juha Kylmänen?” Tommi hadn’t seen that one coming.

Jonne shook his head in amusement. “Why does everyone know him except me?” Seeing Tommi’s puzzled expression, Jonne explained, “We met in the supermarket. I had no idea who he was, but Ville recognized him at once. And you know him too!”

Tommi nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve been trying to sign them to Hype Records, but so far they don’t seem interested.”

“As far as I know, Mikko handles everything. Maybe he’s just been too busy to get to it? Do you want me to ask Juha when I see him later?”

“I’d appreciate it if you did! I’d make them a good offer!” Tommi realized his opportunity. “The new album has lots of potential and I’d love to manage them.”

Jonne felt annoyed that Tommi was more interested in getting Reflexion on board than his younger brother being in love. “I’ll call you.”

“Do that!” Tommi nodded and got to his feet when Jonne did.”Come here, you,” he said and grabbed Jonne by the shoulders. “I’m really happy for you!” He hugged Jonne tight.

Jonne relented and his irritation disappeared. He knew that Tommi only wanted the best for him, but sometimes Tommi found it hard to separate himself from his manager persona. “Thanks, Tommi.”

“And don’t worry, whatever problems arise, we’ll cope with them together.” Tommi regretted having been so business like earlier. “Introduce me to him when you have the time. I want to meet the man who conquered my little brother’s heart!” He ruffled Jonne’s hair, knowing it would irritate his younger brother.

Tommi had done that on purpose – Jonne knew that and stuck out his tongue at his older brother. “Don’t mess up my hair!”

“Did you style it then? I didn’t notice,” Tommi quipped wickedly. Jonne poked him in the side and Tommi pretended being hurt. “Get going,” Tommi said. “I expect you back on Monday though. We have a band meeting then and I want to talk to you about the upcoming tour.”

“I’ll be there, but all I can think of right now is going to Helsinki so I can be with Juha.”

Amused, Tommi asked, “When was the last time you saw him?”

“Yesterday, when he headed home. I watched him drive away and… It felt like…like someone…”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

Jonne smiled at Tommi. “I’ll talk to Juha about you managing Reflexion… So are you going to get let go of me?” Tommi was still hugging him close.

“If I must…” Tommi released Jonne and turned him around. “There’s the exit, in case you forgot!”

Jonne grinned and headed for the doorway. “Thanks, Tommi!”

“That’s what big brothers are for!” Tommi waved at Jonne and returned to his desk. It would be interesting to see what the future would bring.

~~~

Ville gave Jonne an amused look. “You really can’t wait to see Juha again, can you?”

Jonne felt guilty, realizing only too well that Ville had only moved back in because he had been lonely. Now he was leaving his younger brother alone in the apartment. “Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t. I love seeing you happy and if Juha is the reason for that, then I want you to be with him. Don’t worry about me.”

“But I do…” Jonne abandoned his packing and pulled Ville into his arms. “Did you drink the other night? When Antti, Nakki and Arttu were over?” Ville had problems with alcohol, and although Jonne knew that he couldn’t always guard his brother, he did feel guilty for neglecting Ville this last week.

Ville shook his head. “I didn’t. Don’t worry. I’ve got it under control, and by the way, Nakki wouldn’t let me drink anyway. He’s worse than you.”

Jonne felt relieved. “You know that you can always call me when you need me, don’t you? No matter where I am, or with whom. Juha’s important to me, but you’re my brother. You come first.”

Ville knew that these days. He hadn’t always known it though and it had been one reason why had turned to alcohol for comfort. “Thanks,” he whispered and hugged Jonne close. “And now finish packing. Want me to drive you to Helsinki? I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Are you sure you’ll be all right when I’m not here?” Jonne wasn’t sure he should leave.

“I’ll call Nakki tomorrow and we’ll do stuff together. You know what he’s like. Wants to keep me on the straight and narrow and honestly, Jonne, I have no desire to go back to being an alcoholic again. Yes, staying sober is hard, but I’m determined to pull through.”

“You need to be careful anyway. Your health isn’t the best.” Jonne bit onto his bottom lip. He blamed himself for the shooting incident in which Ville had gotten injured. If it hadn’t been for the damn alcohol nothing bad would have happened! But Ville *had* gotten shot and had spent time at the hospital. “You’re too skinny.”

“I always was skinny!” Ville said, trying to dismiss the comment with a smile. “But you’re right,” he admitted next. “But you also know that it’s not my fault that I lost the weight.”

“I know that.” Ville had lost the weight after he had been shot. “Try to eat more though? Please?”

“I’ll do my best, but you know that I burn off most right away. So tell me,” Ville said, directing their conversation away from his physical condition. “Want me to drive you to Helsinki?”

“I’d love too, but what will you do once I’m with Juha? I don’t know if he has a guest room where you can stay. I’ve never been in his apartment.”

Ville shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’ll drive you to Juha, say hello to Mr. Sexy and then I might head for Tavastia. Maybe there’s a concert. I don’t know yet – maybe I’ll drive home sometime tonight, come crash on Juha’s couch or get a hotel room.”

Jonne nodded: he knew what his brother was like. Unlike him, Ville seldom made plans. Ville took things as they came and lived from day to day. “I hope Juha’s couch is comfortable.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. Do you need help packing?” Ville really had no idea yet what he would do after driving Jonne to Helsinki. He would let the moment take him.

~~~

“No, you don’t need to pick me up at the train station. Give me your address and Ville will drive me there.” Jonne smiled blissfully. It was good to hear Juha’s voice again. He wrote down the address and smiled, even though Juha couldn’t see it. “I missed you. Did you miss me too?”

Ville grinned from ear to ear. Juha had doubtlessly missed Jonne too. “Don’t fret. You’ll be in Helsinki in thirty minutes.” There was surprisingly little traffic tonight.

“See you soon,” Jonne said and ended the phone call. “Juha’s fine with you using the guest room.” The redhead had been thrilled that Jonne would join him so quickly and that he didn’t have to wait until the weekend to see Jonne again.

“I’ll keep the offer in mind.” Ville concentrated on driving again.

Jonne found it hard to sit still. He was terribly excited about seeing Juha again. Although they had only been apart for one day, he missed the redhead, missed Juha making him smile and making him feel at ease.

The silly grin on Jonne’s face made Ville chuckle. “Lovesick?”

Jonne sighed. “I think so. I never felt this way before. It’s amazing… I met Juha ten days ago and… I can’t imagine a life without him.”

“That’s love,” Ville said in a bitter voice. “Sorry,” he added immediately.

“You’ll find someone too. You just need to be patient. Love will find you! I’m sure of it.” Jonne felt sorry for Ville. His younger brother had dated a few girls, and had even gone on a date with Arttu, but nothing had worked out. His brother was still single. “I wasn’t looking for love when I went into that supermarket. Juha found me instead.” He smiled encouragingly at Ville. “Don’t give up. You’re still young!”

Yeah, he had heard that countless times before. The problem was that Ville no longer believed it.

~~~

“This should be it,” Ville said as he looked out of the window and up the building. “This is the right street. Juha’s apartment should be up there.” The neighborhood was okay, he guessed. It was in the heart of the city, in a street leading away from the main lane. The building Juha’s apartment was in housed several units.

“Are you coming along to say hello to Juha?” Jonne gave his younger brother a hopeful look.

“Sure, why not.” Ville parked the car, switched off the engine, and walked alongside Jonne to the front door. Jonne pushed the intercom button and Ville shivered due to the cold. He couldn’t wait to get inside. He hated Helsinki during winter. The cold wind coming in from the sea permeated his bones and made his teeth chatter. “I’ll probably drive home tonight. It’s too fucking cold here!”

Jonne gave Ville an understanding look. “Helsinki is great in summer, but not during winter.” He jumped when Juha’s voice sounded from the intercom system.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me! And I brought Ville along!” Jonne felt excited upon hearing Juha’s voice again.

“Come upstairs! It’s on the second floor!” Juha pushed the button and the front door opened.

Jonne slung his overnight bag over his shoulder and climbed the stairs, closely followed by his younger brother. A door opened and the redhead appeared in the doorway. “Jupe!” Jonne dropped the bag and marched over to his boyfriend. “I missed you!” After smiling at the redhead, Jonne pulled Juha into his arms, hugged him close and kissed him.

Juha wrapped his arms around the blond in turn and deepened the kiss. “I missed you too,” he whispered, once Jonne had broken off their kiss. “It’s great to see you here. I didn’t expect to see you until the weekend! But let’s go inside where it’s warmer! Hello, Ville! It’s nice to see you again too!” Juha took Jonne’s bag and carried it inside. “Let’s go into the living room!” He was a bit worried about Jonne’s reaction to his living arrangements. The apartment wasn’t very big, or as luxurious as the blond’s. It was the best he could afford though. Helsinki was a very expensive city.

Jonne looked about and realized that Juha’s apartment was half the size of his. There was a living room, a small kitchen, a bedroom and a smaller room which served as a storage area. Juha had also put a spare bed in there. Everything was painted and decorated in warm pastels with white or black furniture. In spite of it being tiny, the apartment was comfortable and cozy. “I like it.”

Juha felt relieved. “Even though I don’t have a bathtub?”

“I’ll use the shower, or even better…” Jonne paused, grinned wickedly, and added, “You’ll shower with me.”

“Too much information,” Ville said and rolled his eyes as he sat down on the couch next to Jonne after Juha had gestured for them to do so.

“Do you want something to drink?” Juha asked the two brothers.

Jonne nodded. “Do you have some hot chocolate? I feel cold. I don’t like the cold wind coming in from the sea.”

“I’d like some coffee, if that’s not too much work. And after that, I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Ville said.

Juha nodded and disappeared into the kitchen where he prepared their drinks. He returned a few minutes later and served Jonne his hot chocolate while he joined Ville for a cup of coffee. Sitting down next to Jonne, he took the blond’s hand in his and rubbed the soft skin. Addressing Ville, Juha said, “I have a guest room. It’s not much, but you can stay the night if you want to.” It was already ten in the evening and Juha didn’t want Ville to feel forced to drive to Tampere that night.

“Thanks for your offer. I don’t know yet what I’ll do. I’ll head for Tavastia first and then I’ll see what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll drive home, or ring your bell.” He shrugged.

“Sure, but I want you to know that you’re welcome here.” Juha nodded and squeezed Jonne’s hand. He was glad to have his boyfriend back with him.

Ville drank his coffee, and once he had finished, put the empty cup back onto the coffee table. “I’ll be off then.”

“Do you want a key so you can get inside tonight?” Juha reached for a set of keys that lay on the coffee table. “I got one for you too,” he said, addressing Jonne and handing his boyfriend the key.

Jonne gave Juha a radiant smile. “I’ll get you one of my apartment in turn.”

Ville wasn’t sure he should accept though. “It’s enough when Jonne has one.”

“No, take it in case you want to crash here tonight. That way I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to let you in.” Juha gave Ville a serious look. “You can always give it back to me in the morning.”

“I’m not even sure I’ll return here tonight,” Ville objected.

“Just in case…” Juha replied and nodded his head. “Take it.”

Ville looked at Jonne and when his older brother nodded, he took the key and slipped it into a pocket. He had no intention of disturbing the lovebirds with his presence though and wouldn’t crash at Juha’s apartment that night.

~~~

Juha pulled Jonne onto his lap and clasped his fingers behind the blond’s neck. “It’s good to have you back.” Gently massaging the nape of Jonne’s neck, he stared into his boyfriend’s eyes. “We might have a problem, you know.”

Jonne nodded in understanding. “I don’t want to be apart from you either.” It meant that one of them had to move eventually. Either Juha moved to Tampere – which might be difficult, because his job was located in Helsinki – or Jonne moved to Helsinki. “Last night, I missed going to sleep in your arms. I’ve become used to having you close. It was strange to be alone in bed.” Leaning in closer, he claimed Juha’s lips and when the redhead opened up, Jonne’s tongue slithered inside. Juha moaned into his mouth and Jonne slid his fingers into the red hair. He just couldn’t get enough of the redhead...

~~~

Ville drove toward Tavastia and parked his car somewhere close. After he got out of the car, he pulled his black, furry coat close and pulled a beanie over his head. Damn, Jonne was right: Helsinki was too fucking cold during winter. Thinking everything over, he decided to drive back to Tampere during the night. He had no desire to stay another night in this frozen hell. To add to his misery, it started to snow. “I hate this place,” he whispered beneath his breath.

“Got some money to spare? A euro maybe?”

Ville sighed. In Tampere there were hardly any beggars who harassed people, but Helsinki was a capital city and with it, came the problems all major cities had. He was about to tell the beggar to go away when he looked up and into the other man’s face. It was a young man, maybe even younger than he. It was hard to guess the age, but he reckoned the other man wasn’t even twenty yet. Black, smudged hair peeked out from beneath the ragged hood the other man had pulled over his head. The eyes were dark and lay deep in their sockets and the face was extremely pale, the lips nothing but a thin, bloodless line. Dressed in several sweaters and a tattered coat, the young man still shivered and coughed badly. His hand, which he had raised while asking for money, shook and then dropped alongside his body. Probably a junkie, Ville thought and wanted to turn around when the other man’s voice stopped him from doing so.

“I won’t blow it on drugs or booze… I just want something to eat. Please, I’m cold and hungry.”

The voice echoed the other man’s fatigue. It sounded raw and weak from too much coughing. Ville raised his gaze and looked at him once more, discovering a feverish gleam in those brown, almost black eyes.

“Just a euro. You look like you can spare it.” Another coughing fit shook the young man’s frame.

Ville cringed at hearing the awful sound rising from the other man’s lungs. Jonne sounded a bit like that when he suffered from a severe asthma attack. Looking to his left where Tavastia was located, he found the place closed. There was no light on and the doors were barred. He should have known his plans wouldn’t work out. He had hoped to meet some friends, drink some alcohol free beer and listen to some good music. That obviously wasn’t going to happen.

Ville shook himself from his musings and focused on the other man, who had turned and was stumbling away from him. Ah, what the fuck. Maybe he should do some good for a change. “Wait!” He marched after the young man and grabbed his shoulder. The young man flinched visibly and quickly pulled away from him, leaving Ville stunned.

“Don’t touch me!” the young man spat.

“Sorry! I didn’t know I was trespassing!” Ville told himself to be lenient. If the other man lived on the streets he had probably ran into some very unpleasant people. “I just want to offer you a hot meal.”

The dark eyes narrowed. “And why would you do that? I’m not like that. I don’t do sex for food.”

Ville swallowed hard – that had been too much information. It meant the young man had been in exactly that kind of situation before. “Ilves is open. We can eat there and then go separate ways.” Ville pointed at the restaurant located next to Tavastia. “The food there is good!”

“I wouldn’t know... I never ate there before.”

Ville could tell that the other man was tempted though. “It’s okay. I don’t want anything in turn. Maybe some company during dinner. I wanted to go to Tavastia, but that one is closed.” Ville eyed the young man and saw the inner war he waged. “I mean it. I’m for real. I don’t want to take advantage of you.” He would buy the other man a meal and then head home.

Another coughing fit shook the young man’s frame. “I’m hungry,” he whispered.

“Then let’s go inside and eat.” Ville gave him an encouraging smile. “We’re in public so you’re safe.”

“Okay…” the young man said and followed Ville inside. He looked about and checked for an emergency exit in case he couldn’t get out the normal way.

“Ville!” The bartender waved at the young man. “It’s been a while! What do you want to drink?”

Ville considered that. “Coffee.” He turned toward his dinner guest. “What would you like?”

“Coffee would be great.” With his arms tightly wrapped around his frame, he followed Ville to the table. He waited for Ville to sit down and then chose a spot close to the exit.

Ville removed his coat and beanie and rubbed his fingers in order to warm them. “It’s too damn cold out there!” The bartender brought their coffee and Ville asked for the menu although he already knew what he would get. He wanted the other young man to have a choice though. “Aren’t you going to remove that?” Ville asked and pointed at the young man’s coat.

“Not really,” he replied and coughed violently. He took hold of a paper napkin, which lay on the table and wiped his lips. “I’m still cold.”

“Try your coffee. It might help.” Ville sipped his hot drink. “I’m Ville by the way.” He decided against offering the other man his hand, as he was sure that he wouldn’t take it. “What’s yours?”

“Jari,” he said reluctantly as he wrapped his fingers around the cup of hot coffee. He didn’t know what to make of Ville and remained on his guard. He had met too many people who had seemed kind at first and who had then turned out to be predators. “Why are you doing this?” He quickly reached for another napkin as more mucus rose from his lungs. He coughed in an attempt to rid himself of it and whimpered in pain. His throat felt like sandpaper and hurt.

Ville flinched. “That doesn’t sound good,” he said, choosing to ignore Jari’s question.

Jari shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“What’s wrong with you that you cough like that?” Ville opened the menu and had a look at it. It was his way to encourage Jari to do the same. The fingers that glided along the laminated paper shook fiercely each time Jari coughed.

“It’s my lungs,” Jari whispered and shrugged.

“In that case you should be someplace warm.”

“I don’t have someplace warm,” Jari said in a bitter voice. The letters danced in front of his eyes and he found it hard to concentrate. The letters simply made no sense. It was frustrating. He was so damn close to having his first warm meal in a week and now he couldn’t make out the dishes on offer!

The bartender returned to take their offer and Ville ordered his favorite dish -- hamburger like he always did and got a coke to go with it. “And what would you like?” he asked Jari.

“Same thing as you,” Jari said: that way he would get something to eat, although he had no idea what he would be served. It didn’t really matter, as long as it was food. Shivering, he slipped his hands inside his sweater and tried to warm up that way. He would never get used to living on the streets in winter.

The bartender left and Ville returned his attention to his guest. Unfortunately it wasn’t very bright in Ilves, so he couldn’t really make out many details of Jari’s face. “Do you live on the streets?” he asked curiously. He had never met a ‘street kid’ before.

Jari nodded and sipped his coffee again, which he had unfortunately almost finished. It felt great to have something warm glide through his throat and warm him from the inside. He didn’t know what Ville would demand from him later, after they had eaten, but Jari hoped he could get away from the blond in time. Remaining silent, he stared straight ahead, battling the rising fever and congestion in his lungs. It was nice to be inside where it was warm and the prospect of getting some food inside almost made him drool.

“How old are you?” Ville wanted to keep the conversation going. The silence between them felt awkward.

“I’m not sure,” Jari frowned. “Seventeen? Eighteen? I have no idea what the date is.” And he didn’t really care. He cared about being warm and getting something eat.

“How do you mean that?” Ville ordered more coffee while they were waiting for the food to arrive. He had noticed the craving in the dark eyes and the disappointment when the cup had been empty.

“Time loses meaning when you live on the streets.” Jari thankfully sipped his second cup of coffee. For the first time in over a week, he started to feel warm inside. He leaned back and nursed his remaining coffee. He could stay like this forever – just being on the inside and holding something warm in his hands. Too bad it would stop shortly and then he would be back to battling the freezing cold again. That thought trigged his cough again.

“That really sounds bad. You should see a doctor.” Ville wasn’t fond of doctors or hospitals himself, especially after his visit there when Lauri had accidentally shot him, but a doctor’s visit would do Jari good.

“Can’t go there… Don’t have the money and…” There was a more important reason, but he didn’t want Ville to know that much about him. The other man was a stranger.

Ville was about to point out that Jari should see a doctor anyway when their food arrived. The plates, filled with fries, salad and hamburgers were placed in front of them and the expression in Jari’s eyes told Ville just how hungry the other man was. Jari didn’t start eating right away though. The young man gave him a look which asked for permission to dig in. Ville swallowed hard and wondered just what Jari had been through in his short life. “Start eating before it cools down,” he said and nodded.

Jari didn’t think twice and started to wolf down the food. He would do whatever he had to do later shouldn’t he be able to get away. The meal was worth it.

TBC

Part 2

Jari couldn’t remember the last time his stomach had been that full. He licked his fingertips and wouldn’t have minded a second serving, but he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up. He also knew that his stomach might not deal with more food than that. It had been empty for too long. “That was good.”

Ville hadn’t finished his meal as he hadn’t been very hungry. He noticed the way Jari eyed the remains on his plate and just knew what was going in the young man’s head. “You can have it.” He switched their plates and watched Jari devour his leftovers. Jonne thought him skinny, but if Ville’s observations were right, Jari was even skinnier. In between his bites, Jari coughed time and time again and the feverish expression in the dark eyes grew more intense as did the film of sweat on Jari’s brow. “You should really see a doctor.”

Jari barely registered the words. He was focused on eating as much as he could and the fever made it hard for him to concentrate anyway. He wasn’t even sure he would be able to get up later and leave the restaurant. He felt so… strange… so full and at the same time very light-headed. He felt afloat and knew he was in trouble. He would never be able to put a safe distance between Ville and him later.

Jari had finished as well and Ville wasn’t sure what to do next. Yes, pay for their meal of course, but what should he do then? He didn’t feel comfortable sending Jari onto the streets again, even though the streets were Jari’s home. Ville had never really realized just how lucky he was. Jonne and Tommi had made sure that he had a comfortable home. They helped him build a career and he could spend as much money as he wanted – within reasonable amounts of course. Although Jonne and he had spent part of their childhood at a home, they had never really wanted for much. Their life had been extremely comfortable compared to what Jari was going through.

“Thanks for the meal,” Jari said and coughed again. He wrapped his arms around his frame as if he could repress the coughing that way. It was of little use though. The congestion in his lungs wouldn’t be suppressed that way. He needed medicine and he knew it. “I’ll be off then.” It was important to leave as quickly as possible. Ville couldn’t corner him in Ilves, but it would be different once they were outside.

“Are you going back out there? Do you have shelter? Someplace you can stay and be warm?” Ville quickly got out some money, put it on the table and made ready to follow Jari outside. He couldn’t let the other man spend another night outside, not with that cough! What if Jari wouldn’t survive?

“Maybe there’s place at one of the shelters,” Jari replied, pulling up his hood. “Or else… I’ll survive somehow… I did so for the last two years.” But he hadn’t been ill before. He knew he needed care, medicine and a warm place to stay. Unfortunately he didn’t have any of them. “Please let me go…” He was too weak to put up a fight if Ville chose to extract some sort of ‘payment’ from him.

“I’m sorry,” Ville said, surprising himself. “But I can’t.” He didn’t touch Jari, but moved closer when the younger man swayed dangerously. “You’re ill. You can’t go back into the cold.”

Jari wanted to move away, but stumbled, and another violent coughing fit took him. His knees gave out from beneath him and he started to fall. Ville caught him, but the fall had upset Jari’s stomach and the food came rushing back. He emptied his stomach right there on the floor and wept bitter tears of pain and misery. He wanted it to stop… the pain, the cold…the loneliness.

Ville thankfully had a good hold on Jari when the younger man fainted. He gave the bartender an apologetic look. “He’s ill.”

“Ah, well, it’s not the first time that I have to clean up after a customer. Usually though it’s because they’re drunk. Are you going to take him with you?”

Ville nodded. He couldn’t bear the thought of the younger man freezing to death out on the streets. “I’ll take care of him.” He put Jari’s arm over his shoulder and dragged him along. Had he been stronger, he would have carried the younger man, but he hadn’t regained his former strength yet. Once the cold wind hit his face, he shivered uncomfortably. What was he going to do now? He basically had three options and he mentally evaluated them.

His first option was to drive back to Tampere and to take care of Jari at home. It might not be the smartest thing to do though, as Jari was ill and needed rest and not a two hour car drive. His second option was to take Jari to Juha’s place. That was a good option because Juha and Jonne could help him take care of Jari. His last option was to move them into a hotel room and to take care of Jari there. Whatever option he chose, he wasn’t going to dump Jari on the streets again. Ville wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but maybe there was a reason why Jari and he had met that night.

~~~

“Hum, how could I have probably survived until the weekend without you?” Juha caressed Jonne’s face and pulled the blond closer. After Ville had left, they’d had a bite to eat and then they had settled down on the couch – or to be exact, Jonne had settled down on Juha’s lap. Jonne had wrapped his arms around his neck and they had spent the last hour kissing. Juha had never known just how pleasurable that act could be until he had tasted Jonne. Being male, Jonne was much more demanding than a girl normally would and the challenge thrown at him thrilled Juha.

“I asked myself the same question.” Jonne rested his brow against Juha’s and looked him in the eye. “I didn’t like being alone last night. I wanted you there so I could touch you.”

Juha nodded. “I feel the same way.” Juha sighed and ran his fingers through the blond hair. “I hope my bed is comfortable enough for your taste.”

“It will do. I don’t care about it being comfortable as long as you’re in it.” Jonne kissed Juha again and rubbed the nape of the redhead’s neck with his fingertips. “You’re the drug, I’m the addict,” he whispered against Juha’s lips.

The redhead grinned. “If you want more of your favorite drug, come and get it.”

Jonne cocked his head and seductively ran the tip of his tongue along his top lip. “I was thinking about moving this to your bed. What do you think?” Jonne grinned at hearing Juha purr. “Something tells me that you like that idea.”

Juha nodded. “I do… But that implies that you need to leave my lap, otherwise I’d be stuck here on the couch.”

Smiling wickedly, Jonne rubbed his bottom against Juha’s groin and felt the redhead harden beneath him. “In that case I need to get to my feet, don’t I?” Juha swallowed hard and Jonne relished having such an effect on his boyfriend. Having pity on Juha, Jonne got to his feet and took his boyfriend’s hand in his. He pulled Juha to his feet and the two of them moved into the living room. Again, the room was kept in soft pastels. The bed was made from black metal and had red bed linen on. Why wasn’t he surprised about that color combination? Maybe because Juha’s hair was those colors too?

Juha drew in a deep breath as he sat down on the side of the bed. “I want to touch you… I *need* to touch you…” He placed his hands on Jonne’s hips and pulled him closer.

Jonne returned to Juha’s lap and straddled it. Like that first time, he pushed Juha onto his back and leaned in closer to kiss him. “You wear way too many clothes, Jupe.” Jonne slid a hand beneath Juha’s shirt and undid the buttons that kept the material together. Slowly pushing the fabric apart, he sighed appreciatively when bare skin was revealed. “So soft and warm…” Bowing his head, Jonne nuzzled Juha’s chest and let his tongue slither toward a nipple. “I’m hungry…”

“You can eat me… I’m not stopping you,” Juha whispered with a crooked smile on his face. Burying his hands in Jonne’s hair he pulled his boyfriend close so he could kiss him. “Love you,” he whispered against Jonne’s lips.

“Love you too.” Jonne’s fingers moved to unbutton Juha’s jeans and he pushed the material further down, so he had full access.

“What about your clothes?” Juha curled his fingers around the fabric of Jonne’s sweater and pulled it over Jonne’s head so the blond was naked from the waist up. “Yes,” he whispered longingly and placed his hands against his boyfriend’s abdomen. “Much better.” He sucked in his breath when Jonne squeezed his erection and groaned in desire. “Yes, touch me.” His hands moved lower and undid the zipper so he could slide down Jonne’s white jeans.

Jonne was hard too and wanted nothing more than to remove the restrictive clothing that kept them from being skin-on-skin. “I want you,” he whispered. “I want to be inside you.”

Juha blinked. He should have seen it coming. “I want that too,” he admitted and kissed Jonne. “And then I want you in turn.”

Jonne nodded. That was perfect. He wanted that too. He hooked his fingers around Juha’s boxers and wanted to slide them down when the doorbell rang. He groaned. “You have got to be kidding! Not now!”

“Let’s ignore it. Whoever it is will go away if we don’t react.” Juha didn’t want to abandon their love play either. “I’m not expecting anyone at any rate.”

Jonne nodded and started to remove Juha’s boxers when the doorbell rang a second time and this time, the ringing continued. Someone was quite determined to get their attention. “This isn’t fair!”

Juha sighed and shook his head. “Whoever it is, he won’t go away it seems.”

Jonne had realized that too and he was hard, damn it! “I’m going to kill whoever that is!”

“I’m sorry, babe,” Juha whispered and brushed his lips against Jonne’s. “We’ll finish this…later…”

Jonne sighed, knowing he had no choice. He got up from the bed, got dressed again and followed a rumpled looking Juha into the corridor.

Juha buttoned up his shirt and pushed the button. “Can’t you just go away?” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Ville replied. “But I need help.”

~~~

Ville returned to the car and opened the door to the passenger’s seat. Squatting in front of Jari, he tried to evaluate the situation. Was Jari awake? Or still unconscious? The eyes were closed, the shivering continued and the coughing had stopped. Jari had been like that since he had fainted at Ilves.

Juha approached the car and frowned when he realized that someone was in the car with Ville. “Hey, what happened?”

“I need your help. Is your offer to use the guest room still valid?” Ville asked.

“Sure.” Juha frowned as he squatted next to Ville to look at the young man in the car. “Who’s that?”

“His name’s Jari. I met him at Tavastia. He was begging and I offered him a warm meal. He fainted at Ilves and I couldn’t leave him there so I brought him along. Can he stay too?”

Juha nodded firmly. “Of course he can. He doesn’t look well, does he?”

“He was coughing a lot and mentioned something being wrong with his lungs. Juha, I can’t dump him back onto the streets. He needs to be someplace warm and someone has to take care of him.”

“Let’s get him upstairs. We can discuss it later.” Juha helped Ville to get Jari out of the car and steadied the younger man when Ville locked the car door. The two of them half dragged, half carried Jari upstairs. “He smells,” Juha remarked at noticing the dirty clothes.

“I doubt he has had the luxury of showering daily like you and me.” Ville raised his gaze and saw Jonne standing in the doorway. His older brother looked displeased and Ville realized he had probably interrupted an intimate moment. Too bad, but Jari came first that moment.

“Who’s that with you?” Jonne asked, trying to recall if he had seen the unconscious man before. “What’s wrong with him?” He stepped aside so Ville and Juha could enter.

“Something with his lungs and I don’t really know him, but that doesn’t change a thing. He needs help!” Ville told Jonne and then addressed Juha, “Where do you want him?”

“Living room first.” Juha steered them toward the couch where they eased Jari down onto his back. “And now you’re going to tell us what happened.”

~~~

“You should take him to a doctor first thing in the morning,” Juha advised after Ville had told them. “There’s not much we can do without proper medication.”

“We’re already helping him by allowing him to stay someplace warm and dry.” Ville looked out of the window and found that it was still snowing. “I’ll take him to the hospital tomorrow and we’ll see what happens from there. Maybe they’ll want to keep him.”

“And what if they release him?” Jonne asked. Ville’s actions surprised him. His younger brother wasn’t someone who picked up strangers or took in strays. Something about Jari must have drawn Ville in.

“I don’t know yet. I can take him to Tampere or maybe we can crash here for a few more days.” Juha’s apartment was a bit small for four people though. “We’ll have to find out what the doctor says, but whatever happens I won’t throw him out onto the streets again. It’s freezing out there!”

Juha sympathized. “You can stay as long as you want and the same goes for Jari. My apartment might be small, but everyone’s welcome, especially someone who needs help as badly as that young man does. I’ll fix the guest room. It’s small, but comfortable. He can sleep in there.”

Ville gave Juha a grateful look. “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s okay…” Juha gave Jari another pondering look and then turned around to put on fresh bed linen and to get out some sweats Jari could wear. He also put towels on the chair next to the bed and startled momentarily upon feeling arms folding around his waist. Looking over his shoulder, he stared into Jonne’s eyes. “We can’t turn them away.”

Jonne sighed and nodded. “I know that.” He regretted that their love play had been so rudely interrupted, but he also understood that Jari needed help. “Ville surprised me. That was a nice thing to do!”

“Getting into a situation like that can confront you with yourself – with your fears. There are a lot of homeless people and their life gets particularly hard during winter. Jari looks like he has been out there for some time. Maybe this is a turning point for him. I hope so. No one should have to live like that.”

“You’ve got a big heart,” Jonne whispered into Juha’s ear. He kissed the soft skin of Juha’s neck and released him. “I’ll keep an eye on them tomorrow.”

“I’ll write down the name of my doctor. He’s fairly easy-going. You should visit with him.”

“I’ll make sure Ville and Jari get there,” Jonne promised. He was about to kiss Juha again when a scream coming from the living room made him jump. “Jari’s awake.”

~~~

Jari stared at his surroundings at shock. He had no where he was and what made things even worse was that he felt lightheaded and disorientated. What had happened? Where was he and why?

“Hey, it’s me. Remember me? I’m Ville. We had dinner together.” Ville cringed at seeing the panic in Jari’s eyes. The younger man had jumped from the couch, had fallen onto the floor and was now cowered in a corner. With his arms wrapped around his knees, Jari tried to make himself as small as possible. “You’re safe. I took you to my brother’s boyfriend’s apartment. Please calm down. You shouldn’t exert yourself like that.” He worried for the younger man, who seemed ready to start hyperventilating. That would be bad, considering the state of his lungs.

Jari frantically looked about and found the doorway. All he could think about was getting out before someone hurt him. Gathering his strength, Jari tried to get to his feet and over to the doorway, but his strength failed him. He didn’t get very far. Coughing violently and with tears flowing from his eyes, he returned to his corner and curled up. “Let…me…go…please…”

Ville drew in a deep breath and hoped he would find the right words. “Jari, you’re ill. You can’t be on the streets at the moment. You’re coughing and running a fever. I decided to take you someplace warm. Juha has a guest room where you can stay. You need sleep, food and medicine.”

Jari however shook his head. “I can’t…stay…let me…go, please.” He couldn’t risk Ville taking him to a doctor who had to report his visit. He had to stay anonymous, hidden! His panic increased when two more men entered the room. Pushing himself against the wall he tried to make himself as small as possible. Maybe they would reconsider once they got closer to him and realized that he stank and was ill. No one wanted sex with a sick person – at least Jari hoped so!

“Hello, I’m Juha and this is Jonne.” Juha squatted in front of the younger man and gave him a reassuring smile. “Ville brought you here. You need care, don’t you? And meds.”

“I need to go! Please…let me!” Pleading with them took away Jari’s remaining strength. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get away or fight them off. He was at their mercy.

“Why don’t we get some tea into you and then tuck you into bed so you can sleep?” Juha suggested. “I turned up the heating in the guest room so you should be comfortable there.” He got to his feet again and wrapped an arm around Jonne’s shoulder. “Maybe we should let Ville handle this.”

Jonne nodded. “Jari feels trapped,” the blond whispered. “There are three of us and he doesn’t know us.” Turning toward his younger brother, he asked, “Can you handle it?”

Ville blinked in surprise. Normally Jonne took charge, and if Jonne wasn’t there, Tommi did. And now Jonne was asking him if he could handle the situation? He wasn’t sure he could, but had to try. “I’ll take care of him.”

Jari was still coughing and quickly running out of breath. Crying tears of misery, he wrapped his arms tightly around his frame in a futile effort to subdue the coughing. He would surrender to his fate. There was nothing he could do about it. If these men decided to abuse him, he would fight them, but he also knew he would lose that struggle as he lacked strength.

Ville turned his attention toward Jari again. “What do you want? Something to eat? A hot shower? To crawl into bed and sleep?”

Jari looked at Ville with big, panic-filled eyes. His fever distorted his view and he was seeing Ville in stereo. Why were there two of them? Did that mean he was now up against four strangers?

“I don’t think he’s capable of making decisions at the moment,” Juha said. “If I were you, I wouldn’t move him about too much. Just get him into bed and see that he sleeps.”

Ville had reached the same conclusion. Shower and food had to wait – sleep was more important. “Can you help me get him into bed?” he asked Juha.

Juha reacted by advancing on Jari and saw the terror in the dark eyes when the younger man realized that he was trapped. “Don’t be sacred. We want to help.”

But Jari didn’t believe him. Too many people had told him so before. But he was weak and tired. He lacked the strength to fight them and had no other choice but to allow them to get him to his feet again. Shaking violently he prayed that he would get off easy.

“Just sit down on the bed,” Ville said as he helped the younger man. “Now lay back.”

Jari felt dizzy when he lay down on his back and he realized exactly how vulnerable he was that moment. If they wanted to hurt him, then…

“Don’t be scared,” Ville whispered, echoing Juha’s words. “We want to help. You’re safe with us.” He raised Jari’s legs and pulled up the comforter. “Just try to sleep, all right?”

Jari wasn’t sure he could, at least not on his back. He started to turn onto his side, but a severe coughing bout shook his thin body again.

“I’ll help,” Ville said and helped Jari get comfortable on his side. He gave Juha a grateful nod before the redhead left and looked at Jari again. “Is there anything I can do to ease that cough? Do you want some aspirin to fight off the fever?”

Jari didn’t really understand what Ville was saying. His eyes closed and his body shut down now that he was lying down.

“I’ll get you some aspirin. It can’t hurt!” Ville tucked the comforter around Jari’s body and left the room. “Juha, do you have any aspirin?”

Juha had already been thinking ahead and approached with a glass of water. He had already dissolved some aspirin in it. “See if you can make him drink that and then make him see my doctor first thing in the morning.”

Ville smiled thankfully. “I will!” He curled his fingers around the glass and returned to Jari’s side. It was obvious that the younger man was exhausted and ready to go to sleep, and yet Jari struggled to keep his eyes open, probably because he didn’t trust them. “Drink this. It contains aspirin and will do you good.”

Jari wasn’t sure he should drink anything, not knowing what was in the water. Who knew what kind of drugs Ville had put in it!

“It’s just water and aspirin,” Ville said and took a sip. “See?”

Jari *was* thirsty and in the end, the thirst won. He elbowed himself up and tried to reach for the glass. His hand shook so badly though that he couldn’t get a hold of it.

“Let me help.” Ville sat down on the bed and placed the glass against Jari’s lips. “Try to drink slowly.”

Jari drank the mixture hungrily and wished there was more when he had finished. The water drove away the awful taste in his mouth.

“Try to sleep,” Ville advised as he helped Jari to acquire a comfortable position. “Just call me in case you need anything.” He would stay close at any rate.

Jari lost the fight to stay awake and closed his eyes. His body had decided to shut down.

Ville watched Jari for a while and removed the hood. Beneath it, long, curly black hair appeared. It definitely needed to be washed, and Ville hoped Jari would accept the invitation to shower before they went to see the doctor in the morning.

~~~

Ville startled awake because Jari was coughing again. He had made himself comfortable on the chair next to the bed and had fallen asleep while watching the younger man. His eyes opened and focused on Jari, who had pushed himself up. Mucus clung to his lips and there were tears in his dark eyes. Ville moved quickly, grabbed the bowl Juha had put on the nightstand and sat down on the side of the bed. “Try to get it out.”

Jari coughed louder and his frame shook with the effort it took for him to clear his lungs. More tears left his eyes and he wished this ordeal would finally end. Even in spite of his raging fever he felt cold – so fucking cold.

Ville wrapped an arm around the younger man and steadied him. “It’ll pass again. Just get it out for now.” He didn’t know what was wrong with Jari or what made the young man cough like that, but he wanted to help.

The coughing abated for a moment and Jari was clearheaded enough to look at Ville and focus on him. His fears left momentarily as he was much too happy that he wasn’t alone. Clawing at Ville’s shirt, he whispered in a raw voice, “It hurts…”

“Is there anything I can do to help? Will something ease the coughing?” Ville really wanted to help, but he didn’t know how. “Please tell me.”

Jari wasn’t sure he should. Could he trust Ville? What was he thinking? Trusting Ville? No one could be trusted. He *knew* he had to be careful!

“Jari, I just want to help. I’ve no hidden agenda. Please let me help.” Ville didn’t know why it was so important that he helped, but he knew he had to reach out to Jari.

Jari gasped for breath. Echoes of his breathing sounded through the room, evidence of the severe congestion in his lungs. He needed inhalers and antibiotics, but didn’t have any.

“What will ease your cough?” Ville asked one last time, hoping Jari would trust him in the end.

“Steam,” Jari whispered in a raw voice.

“Steam?” Ville frowned. “How do you mean that?”

“Shower… hot water… steam…” When he had still lived at home or at the shelter, he had spent many nights in the bathroom, turning on the hot water and just sitting on the floor of the shower cabin. It was the only thing that helped when he didn’t have his inhalers close.

“Ah,” Ville finally got the picture. “We can do that!”

Jari’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Let’s get you into the bathroom!” Ville curled an arm around Jari’s waist and pulled him to his feet. “We can do that!”

“No,” Jari protested. He didn’t know Ville’s plans exactly, but didn’t want to take any risks.

“Too late, we’re going into the bathroom.” Ville kept an arm around Jari’s waist and pulled him along. Juha and Jonne gave him curious looks when they passed by the living room, but he signaled to them that he had everything under control. Ville opened the bathroom door and moved inside. “Can you sit on the toilet for a moment?”

Jari complied. He swayed dangerously though. At the same time, he tried to keep Ville in his line of sight, but the fever made that difficult. The room spun and he wasn’t sure where he was.

Ville noticed it and returned to Jari’s side after he had turned on the shower to warm up the water and the bathroom. “Take your clothes off. Let’s make the best of the situation and clean you up too.”

Jari’s eyes widened. “No,” he whispered in a scared voice. “No.”

“Juha gave me sweats which you can wear after you showered.” Ville pointed at the – unsurprisingly – black sweats.

“I’m keeping…my…clothes on…” Jari protested weakly.

“That’s not a smart thing to do.” Ville drew in a deep breath. “I know that you don’t trust me, but I stayed true to my word from the beginning. I didn’t try anything…and I won’t try something when you’re in the shower cabin.”

Ville was asking for something huge. Jari didn’t trust people – not anymore. And although Ville hadn’t tried anything yet, it didn’t mean the blond would keep his word. His head dropped forward as he lacked the strength to keep it upright. He was so damn tired – he was too tired to fight. “I won’t fight,” he said as he breathed out heavily. “I can’t…”

“I’m sorry that you’re feeling weak, but you made the right decision. I won’t hurt you.” Ville started to peel the younger man out of his clothes. First he removed the hoodie, and then a T-shirt, only to find two more shirts beneath it. When he finally happened upon bare skin, Ville cringed. Jari *was* skinny. “It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly. “You can trust me.”

Jari barely registered Ville’s voice. He was much too scared and exhausted to pay attention to what the blond was saying. He realized his shirts were gone and he was naked from the waist up. Shivers broke out and traveled down his limbs. He knew what was next.

Ville had problems unbuttoning Jari’s jeans. It was because of the awkward position he was in. He couldn’t reach for the buttons well. In the end he managed though and slid down the fabric, along with the underwear. All right, all clothes were going into the washing machine at once. He didn’t want to know how long it had been since they had been washed. Ville paid little attention to Jari’s physique as he was too focused on keeping the younger man steady. “Let’s get you into the shower cabin.”

Jari’s knees buckled beneath him and he slid onto the floor of the shower cabin where he pulled his knees to his chest. Warm water dripped onto him and it created steam in the bathroom, easing his lungs.

“I’ll be right with you. Just let the steam do its work.” Ville closed the door to the shower stall so the steam couldn’t get out.

“Is everything okay in here?” Jonne asked as he peeked around the corner after pushing the bathroom door ajar.

Ville shrugged. “I’m not sure. He says that steam helps him clear his lungs so I put him in the shower cabin.”

Jonne raised an eyebrow upon seeing Ville rid himself of his clothes. “And what are you doing?”

“Getting naked, what does it look like?” Ville stuck out his tongue at Jonne.

“Yes, I can see that,” Jonne said and sighed. “But why are you getting naked?”

“I don’t want my clothes wet.” Ville kept his boxers on though – there was no reason to get under the shower with Jari completely naked, and certainly not after the fear he had seen in Jari’s eyes whenever he had touched the younger man. It was best to stay on the safe side.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jonne wanted to know.

“Maybe you can prepare a light meal? Nothing fatty. He threw up after eating at Ilves.” Ville started toward the shower cabin.

“Tea and toast? Or chicken soup if Juha has any?”

Ville nodded. “Sounds good to me.” Ville wanted to open the door to the shower stall, but halted in his tracks because Jonne had placed a hand upon his shoulder. “What?”

“Ville, it’s great that you’re doing this for Jari…but…why?”

Ville shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. Maybe it’s because I realized how well I’m off compared to Jari. Maybe it’s because he’s so young and already living on the streets. Maybe it’s something in his eyes. I don’t know.” Ville didn’t know the answer himself. “Maybe it’s because he needs someone. No one ever needed me before.”

“I need you,” Jonne said. He hoped Ville knew that.

“I know that, Jonne,” Ville replied and smiled at his older brother. “But this is different. I can actually make a difference here. Do you understand what I mean?”

“I do. For me, it’s similar with Juha. Not that he needs me like that, but…he loves me in a way I never knew existed.”

Coughing erupted from inside the shower cabin and Ville looked apologetically at Jonne. “I should get in there.”

Jonne squeezed his younger brother’s shoulder and then turned around. He closed the bathroom door behind him and joined Juha in the living room.

Ville opened the shower cabin door and was greeted by large clouds of steam. Jari was on the floor and still coughing, but it didn’t sound so very painful anymore. “Hey, are you feeling any better?” Ville knelt in front of Jari and waited for the younger man to raise his head to look at him. When Jari didn’t, Ville cupped the other man’s chin in his hand and raised it.

Jari’s eyes were half-closed and his breathing labored. It was obvious that the younger man wasn’t really aware of what was happening and Ville decided that it was an advantage he should use well. Now that Jari was in the shower, he should clean the younger man up.

Ville got to his feet and reached for the shampoo bottle. He made quick work of washing Jari’s hair, but still made sure he was gentle. Next, he used some shower gel to work up foam and cleaned Jari up as well as he could without invading any private areas.

Jari felt Ville’s hands slide over his skin and his fears returned. There wasn’t much he could do though. He couldn’t even lift his little finger – he was tired.

Ville finished quickly and squatted in front of Jari. “Is the steam helping?” Jari *had* stopped coughing.

Jari managed to nod weakly. It felt good to be warm and he wanted to stay like that.

“You can’t stay in here the entire night though…” Ville considered his options. He needed help. “Just give me a moment, okay?” Jari didn’t react and Ville quickly left the shower. He slipped out of his boxers, dried his skin and slipped into his jeans and shirt, foregoing underwear. “Jonne? Juha? Can someone help me get Jari out of the shower, into his sweats and back into bed?”

Juha peeked around the corner. He had just changed the bed linen again. Jari had made it dirty and he didn’t want the now cleaned up young man having to curl up like that. “I’ll help. Jonne’s making something to eat.”

“That’s fine with me. He has stopped coughing so violently, but I don’t know how long it will last.” Ville returned to the bathroom with Juha in tow. He opened the shower cabin door, turned off the water and reached for the younger man who was pitifully huddled against the wall. “Come on, let’s get you in bed again.” Jari didn’t protest when Ville pulled him to his feet and handed him to Juha who had already unfolded a fluffy towel.

“Wow, someone cleaned up nice.” Juha was actually able to see Jari’s face now that it was free of smudge and dirt. “He looks so damn young.” Juha folded the towel around Jari’s form and Ville wrapped another around the black hair.

Jari allowed for it to happen. At the moment, he felt warm and comfortable. The coughing had stopped momentarily and he simply felt fuzzily warm.

Together, Ville and Juha managed to put their charge into sweats. They took him back to the guest room where they sat Jari down on the bed.

“Wait,” Juha said and piled pillows against the head end was. “Let’s ease him into them. Sitting up might put less pressure on his lungs and ease the coughing.”

Ville lowered Jari into the pillows and for the first time, the brown eyes focused on him willingly. He smiled. “Feeling better?”

Jari nodded slowly. It felt great to be clean again. “Thanks,” he whispered, relieved and strangely touched that the two men hadn’t taken advantage of the vulnerable situation he had been in.

“Here, try to drink this.” Jonne entered the guestroom and placed the tray that held tea and tomato soup next to Ville. Jonne took hold of Juha’s hand and pulled him along. He didn’t want Jari to feel crowded. Ville would take care of the younger man.

“Tea or soup?” Ville asked, wanting Jari to have a choice.

Jari didn’t care much. He was just happy to be lying on a comfortable bed, tucked beneath a comforter and sitting up. He simply looked at Ville and his head lolled to the left.

Ville gave Jari a warm smile. “Let’s try some soup, yes? The tea will remain warm for quite some time and I want to get some food inside you after you threw up dinner.” Ville was grateful that Jonne had put the soup into a mug instead of a bowl. In that way, Jari didn’t have to use a spoon and could drink it.

Jari managed a few sips, but then pushed the mug away. “Enough…” He was dead tired and his eyes closed.

“Then get some sleep,” Ville said, having noticed Jari’s eyes closing. He brushed back a strand of damp, black hair and studied the face that showed fatigue and suffering. Hopefully things would change for the better now that they had taken him in.

TBC

Part 3

Jonne nestled closely against Juha and cherished being wrapped up in an embrace when the redhead folded an arm around him. “Does this mean no sex?”

Juha shrugged. “I don’t feel comfortable making love like that.” A look at Jonne told Juha that his boyfriend felt the same way. “Jari’s reactions worry me.”

Jonne raised his head and looked Juha in the eye. “That sounds like you have experience with people who…were mistreated.”

“It happened to a friend of mine. We went to school together. I never suspected a thing and I still feel guilty for not realizing what was going on. The way Jari reacts to our presence or Ville’s touch… It worries me.”

Jonne rubbed the nape of Juha’s neck. “It wasn’t your fault. Sometimes people hide stuff.” Jonne gave his boyfriend a reassuring smile. “I’ll make sure Jari sees a doctor tomorrow. You have to go in for work?”

“Unfortunately. But don’t feel obliged to get up at six when my alarm rings. Just sleep in. I’ll be home around six. You can make dinner if you want. That gives you something to keep busy.”

“I’ll have dinner ready. No problem.” Jonne cuddled up to Juha. The television was on, but they didn’t pay it any attention. Jonne found the image of their fingers twined in Juha’s lap much more interesting. “I’m glad I’m here.”

“So am I, even when we have to postpone making love.” Juha regretted that they couldn’t take that step that night, but he also knew that they needed their privacy and with Ville and Jari asleep in the guestroom their first time might turn out disastrous. “We’ll make up for it.” He raised Jonne’s hand and kissed the back. Checking the time, he realized it was already late and he had to get up early the next morning. It was time to get some sleep. “Do you want to check on Ville and Jari before we turn in?”

Jonne nodded. “I’ll sleep better if I know they’re all right.” He got to his feet and Juha switched off the television. “This is not the way I envisioned our night together.”

Juha pressed a kiss onto Jonne’s blond hair. “Same goes for me, but…”

“You don’t need to explain,” Jonne said after a moment’s thought. “I feel the same way. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy our first time together while worrying about Ville and Jari.” They moved toward the guestroom and found the door ajar. Peeking around the corner, their gazes moved toward the bed.

Ville sat on the chair next to the bed and was still awake. Jari was sitting up, reclining against the pillows and was soundly asleep. Ville saw Jonne and Juha and got to his feet. He walked over to them and closed the door behind him, as he didn’t want to disturb the sleeping man. “Thanks for letting him stay and helping out,” he said, addressing both of them.

Juha nodded. “I’d never turn anyone away – especially not someone like Jari. Take him to the doctor tomorrow and send whatever bills that need to be paid to me.”

“No,” Ville said and shook his head. “I’ll take care of it.” He wasn’t exactly poor thanks to his brothers.

“All right then.” Juha smiled at Ville. “Try to get some sleep and ignore me getting up early in the morning.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Ville said. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving him on his own.”

“I understand that.” Jonne hugged his brother close. “You can always wake me if you need me.”

“I know that. Thanks, Jonne.” Ville returned the embrace, but then moved away. He smiled at them and returned to his chair so he could watch over Jari.

Juha took Jonne’s hand in his and guided him into his bedroom. They removed their clothes and snuggled up in bed. Juha ended up spooned behind Jonne and wrapped his arms tightly around the blond. “I want to go to sleep with you in my arms for every day of the rest of my life.” He had never been so deeply in love before – not even when he had been with Kristiina. The feelings Jonne woke in him were much fiercer.

“I can’t promise you that,” Jonne said regretfully, knowing he had to be realistic. “But I want to spend as much time with you as possible.” He closed his eyes, deeply inhaled Juha’s scent and whispered, “I’ll miss you when I have to go on tour again. I don’t want to leave you, but you know what the business is like.”

Juha pressed a kiss onto Jonne’s shoulder. “We’ll find a way, I promise.” And with those words echoing in their minds, they drifted off into sleep.

~~~

Juha woke before the alarm rang so he switched it off so it wouldn’t wake Jonne. Sighing, he stared at the blond for a long minute. “I love you,” he muttered and pressed a kiss onto Jonne’s hair. “I’ll see you at dinner.” Sometimes he really hated his job, but the bills had to be paid.

He got out of bed, tucked in Jonne and then headed for the bathroom. It was a good thing that he had already washed Jari’s clothes and he put them in the dryer. He took a quick shower, got dressed and had a bite to eat. Pulling the door shut behind him, he regretted leaving them behind. He would have loved to stay with Jonne, Ville and even Jari that day.

~~~

Jari woke that morning because he felt short of breath. Sitting up eased his breathing, but his lungs were still acting up. Looking to his left, he found Ville asleep on the chair, and as he didn’t want to wake the other man, he tried to suppress the cough that was rising from deep inside him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it down for long though. A minute later, he coughed and shook fiercely, trying to clear his lungs.

The coughing woke Ville, whose eyes opened at once. At first, he didn’t know where he was, or what had woken him, but a quick look to his right told him that Jari was awake and coughing again. He needed a moment to wake up fully and realize the situation he was in, but then he moved forward and exchanged his chair for the side of the bed. “We’re going to see a doctor in a bit.” He should have known Jari would panic, but for some reason the reaction itself surprised him. Jari’s breathing sped up and the younger man grew deadly pale. “You really need meds.”

Jari felt too weak to protest. Although he had slept fairly peacefully, the rest he had gotten was only a small percentage of what he really needed. “Can’t I just stay here?”

Ville resolutely shook his head. “You need meds. That cough won’t go away by itself!”

Ville was right about that – even Jari had to admit that. “But they can’t…know…who I am,” he whispered tiredly. “They’ll…report me…and then they’ll come to get me.”

“Why is that a problem?” Ville wasn’t sure if Jari would allow it, but he took the younger man’s hand in his and curled his fingers around it. “You can trust me. You really can.” He gave the younger man a pleading look. “Really.”

Jari wasn’t sure he should. He had been disappointed too many times, but then he remembered that neither Ville, nor Juha had tried anything in the shower yesterday. “I can’t be found,” he said eventually.

“Why’s that?” Ville hoped that Jari would trust him enough to confide in him.

“I can’t tell you.” His throat hurt and he would have loved a drink, but he couldn’t really ask for one. Not after all the things Ville had already done for him.

“You sound like you need a drink.” Ville checked the time. It was eight in the morning. He should probably call Juha’s doctor, get Jari dressed and make breakfast before they left for the doctor’s office. “Want some tea?”

“I’d love something…to drink,” Jari whispered in a raw voice. “But I don’t want…to be… an inconvenience…”

“You’re not. I should get breakfast ready and throw Jonne out of bed if we want to see that doctor.” Ville smiled at Jari. It felt good to have someone to take care of – he felt needed and wanted. “All you need to do is to stay in bed and rest.”

Jari wasn’t sure what to think of it, but as long as he was warm, he was willing to go along with the things Ville suggested.

~~~

Jonne hated waking up alone in bed. Juha had told him that he needed to get up early, but still – Jonne felt bad for not having been able to say goodbye to the redhead. A quick look at the clock told him that it was half past eight already. Normally he wouldn’t get up that early, but today was different. He had promised to make sure Jari saw a doctor. He pushed down the comforter and sat up. Juha’s bed was comfortable, but he missed his own. If he ever moved to Helsinki, he would move his bed into their apartment. Jonne got to his feet, went into the bathroom, freshened up and then returned to the bedroom to get dressed.

When Jonne entered the kitchen he was surprised to find Ville already making tea and coffee. The coffee was probably for himself and the tea for Jari. “You’re up early,” he said as he sat down at the kitchen table. Juha had been so kind to set it. “I love you for thinking of me,” Jonne whispered, wishing Juha was right there with him.

“Jari’s already awake,” Ville started off in a businesslike manner. “I already talked to Juha’s doctor. He expects us within the hour, so we have to get moving!”

Jonne hardly recognized his younger brother. “Ville, is that really you?” What had gotten into him?

“I want this doctor to check on Jari. He needs meds.” Ville sipped his coffee and placed the tea onto a tray. “I’ll get Jari ready. We’ll leave in ten minutes.”

Jonne blinked again. He didn’t know his brother like that, but he definitely liked the change!

~~~

“Try to eat and drink something.” Ville had made tea for Jari and instead of toast which might be painful to swallow he had made porridge, which he had found tucked away in the back of Juha’s cupboard.

Jari gave Ville a look that spoke of fatigue. “What do you…want in turn…? What’s…the price…for all this?” Ville placed the tray onto his lap and Jari managed to curl his fingers around the mug filled with tea. The warmth spread from his hand to the rest of his body and he moaned in bliss. It was good to feel warm again!

“I said it before and I’ll say it again. Just some company, nothing else. I won’t hurt you.” Ville tried to be as reassuring as he could. “Juha’s doctor wants to see us within the hour so after you finished that, we’re going to drive there.”

Jari’s fears returned. “But I can’t! When they find out who I am then…they…they’ll come for me!”

“Who will?” Ville, still seated on the side of the bed, gathered one of Jari’s hands in his. “Your parents?” It was nothing but a guess, but Jari’s expression told him he had hit bull’s eye.

“My father…” Jari sipped and coughed again. “Or the people…from the children’s home…where I lived… Please, I can’t…go back…there.”

Ville drew in a deep breath. At least he had gotten *some* information out of Jari, no matter how little. “We’ll find a way to make sure that you’re safe. Jari, you can’t go on like this. You need meds.” He gave the younger man a meditative look, moistened his lips and said, “You’re much too young to die.”

Jari swallowed hard, which was painful due to his sore throat. “Living on the streets…never…was my choice…I was forced into…it.” He had finished his tea and considered eating the porridge. It would go down smoothly, as he didn’t have to swallow much. Each time he did, he was in pain.

“Try to eat some. I’ll be right back.” Ville wanted the younger man to have some privacy and rose from the bed. After he had left the guestroom, he headed for the kitchen where he found Jonne all dressed and ready to go. “Give him ten more minutes and then we’ll move him to the car.”

“Put him into warm clothes. It’s freezing out there and the wind’s chilling.” Jonne had made the mistake to open the window in the bedroom to let in some fresh air. That was when he had decided to put on an extra sweater beneath his coat.

Ville sat down opposite his older brother. “I’m sorry for ruining your evening like that. I saw the look on your face yesterday and it wasn’t hard to guess what you were doing when I rang.”

Jonne placed a hand onto Ville’s. “Don’t worry about that. Juha and I will get there eventually. We just have to wait a little longer and there’s a good reason for the wait – Jari.”

“Thanks for not being cross with me,” Ville said and peeked at his brother’s face from beneath his blond hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ville.” Jonne hugged his younger brother and then moved away again. “Let’s get Jari ready. He’s weak and it’ll take time to get him into the car.”

Ville nodded: yes, they should get going.

~~~

It took them fifteen minutes to get Jari from the apartment into the car. Dressed in a warm coat and wearing burrowed boots, the two brothers installed Jari in the backseat. Ville had even brought a blanket along and tucked it around the younger man. “Are you comfortable?” Ville asked.

Jari had rested his head against the window and nodded weakly. He was fine for the moment. As long as he remained sheltered from the cold wind he wouldn’t complain.

“Let’s get going then.” Jonne sat down on the passenger’s seat while Ville started the engine. He really should apply for his driver’s license one of these days, but so far he’d lacked the time to take lessons or study. He also suspected he would make a terrible driver.

Ville looked at Jari from over his shoulder. Finding Jari’s eyes closed and the young man’s breathing labored he realized that he shouldn’t waste any more precious time and get going.

~~~

They arrived at the doctor’s office fifteen minutes later and it took both Jonne and Ville to get Jari inside the building. Jari was half asleep, half unconscious, after having suffered through another severe coughing fit. Thankfully the nurse sent them straight to the doctor and not to the waiting room first.

The doctor had already been expecting them and gestured for them to seat themselves. “And you’re my newest patient, Jari?” he asked, already gauging his patient’s condition.

Jari swayed on the chair and Ville quickly moved closer to steady him. “He’s not really aware of what’s happening,” Ville explained. “I think it’s the fever and the coughing exhausts him further.” As on cue Jari started coughing again and mucus appeared on his lips.

“That sounds bad,” the doctor said and got out his stethoscope. “Can you remove his coat and sweater? I need to listen to his lungs.”

Jari didn’t want to end up half naked, but Ville ignored his weak protests and the other man peeled him out of the coat and sweater. He shivered when the cool office air hit his skin.

The doctor moved behind Jari and put the cool metal of the stethoscope onto the young man’s back. “Can you take some deep breaths for me?”

Jari tried. He really tried to comply, but each time he breathed too deeply, another coughing fit took him.

“Normally I’d ask you to cough for me,” the doctor said. “But you already did that.” He moved to the front and repeated the same procedure, listening to Jari’s lungs. After putting the stethoscope away, he squatted in front of his patient to check his reflexes. Last but not least, he took his patient’s temperature and the outcome merely confirmed his suspicions. “You’re suffering from severe bronchitis.”

Jari nodded slowly. “Have had it…for years…”

“You can help him get dressed. I’m done examining him.” The doctor returned to his desk, sat down and started writing. “Then you already know the drill?”

Jari was a dead weight and Ville needed Jonne’s help to dress the younger man. “Do you?” Ville asked Jari.

Jari managed a last nod. “I…do…”

“Does your boyfriend know what he’s supposed to do?” the doctor asked Jari while inclining his head into Ville’s direction.

Jari blinked, but was too tired to correct the physician. He merely shook his head.

“But I’m not…” Ville failed to finish the sentence as he looked into his brother’s amused eyes. The grin Jonne shot him made him speechless.

“I’m prescribing two inhalers. I’ll make sure the instructions are very clear so you can’t go wrong. One will help you breathe more easily; the other one will protect your airways and help your lungs improve. You also need antibiotics. Furthermore you’re getting some tablets which you need to dissolve in water. They will loosen up the congestion in your lungs. I’m also giving you some sleeping pills, so you can catch up on your sleep.” After he had written everything down, the doctor looked at Ville again. “I recommend bed rest, at least for a week, if possible two. Keep him inside. Don’t let him go into the cold and get some food inside him! He’s underweight.” He didn’t need to put Jari on his scales to see that. He handed the paper to Ville and added, “Get them filled and get him into bed.”

Ville nodded firmly. “I’ll do just that.” He’d follow the doctor’s instructions to the letter. “Do you need to see him again?”

“Have him checked in two weeks. If he doesn’t improve during the next week, get him to a doctor, but I think he’ll react just fine to the inhalers.” The doctor rose from behind his desk and walked over to the doorway. “There’s an pharmacy down the corridor when you can have those filled,” he said and pointed at the prescriptions in Ville’s hand.

Ville and Jonne supported Jari, and while Ville took care of the prescriptions, Jonne started their way to the car. “See? Everything will be fine. You stay in bed for two weeks, take those meds and eat and you’ll be as good as new.”

Jari didn’t bother to nod his head, which rested against Jonne’s shoulder. He needed to get off his feet. Everything was spinning and he had no way to tell what way was up.

“Got them!” Ville joined them. He carried a plastic bag which held Jari’s meds and he was eager to get the younger man into a warm bed. “Jonne, can you take a cab back to Juha’s place? I want to get Jari home as quickly as possible.”

Jonne frowned. “Huh?”

“I’m driving back to Tampere. Yes, I know that Juha doesn’t mind us being there, but the apartment is awfully cramped with the four of us there. Back at Tampere Jari has more space and privacy.”

Jonne shot Jari a thoughtful look, but he wasn’t sure the younger man had understood Ville’s words at all. Jari looked out of it. Thinking it over, Jonne had to admit that it was probably the best thing. “Check with our doctor when you get there.”

“I’ll call him.” Ville bit onto his bottom lip. “I’ll take good care of him. Don’t worry, I’ll act responsibly.”

“I don’t doubt that. Just take good care, Ville, of yourself too.” Jonne gave Ville a quick hug. “I’ll help you get him to the car.”

“Thanks, Jonne.” Ville gave his older brother a grateful look. He was relieved that Jonne wasn’t angry with him for taking off like that.

~~~

Ville made sure Jari was comfortable on the backseat and hoped the blanket would keep him warm during the ride. At the moment Jari was either asleep, or he had fainted again. “Thanks for helping me out.” Ville sat down on the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“That’s what brothers are for.” Jonne smiled encouragingly at Ville. “Drive carefully, will you? And get in touch with Nakki when you’re home. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and can help.”

Ville nodded. “I’ll keep it in mind.” It was true – Nakki *was* the most reliable one of his friends, if he didn’t count his brother Tommi. But Tommi would probably be too busy to help out with Jari. “I’ll call you later!” Ville waved at Jonne and then drove down the street, heading back for Tampere at last.

~~~

Ville kept checking on Jari during the drive home, but the younger man remained asleep. The trip to the doctor’s office had probably sapped Jari’s last strength. Ville was relieved when he arrived at home and quickly parked the car. He got out and looked about for a familiar face, as he needed help to get Jari up into the apartment. He smiled at seeing Teemu coming toward him. Teemu was a close friend and lived in the same apartment building. At least, he was lucky! “Teemu! Over here! Can you give me a hand?” Ville waved at his friend.

Teemu raised an eyebrow at hearing someone call his name. Following the sound, he smiled at discovering Ville. “Sure, what happened? Did you go shopping and bought too many clothes?”

Ville grinned, but then grew serious again. “No, that’s not it. I need help because my friend here is ill. He’s got a fever and I want him in bed as quickly as possible.”

Teemu looked at the passenger and frowned when he didn’t recognize him. “Who’s that?”

“His name is Jari and I met him in Helsinki. Are you going to help me?”

“Sure.” Teemu nodded. “What do you want me to do?”

“Can you open the doors for me? I can’t support him and do that at the same time.”

“I’ll do more than that,” Teemu announced. Another look at the man on the back seat showed that he was complete out of it.

Ville opened the car door and pulled Jari to his feet. The young man moaned and coughed, but didn’t wake up.

Teemu helped Ville support Jari. “In which bed are you going to put him? Yours?”

Ville blushed, but then straightened his shoulders again. “It’s not really any of your business, but yes. And I’ll take Jonne’s! You don’t think I’d take advantage of someone who’s ill?”

“No, of course not.” Teemu apologized.

Teemu and Ville managed to get Jari upstairs. Ville unlocked the door, switched on the light and they moved the younger man into Ville’s bedroom. It was a good thing that all his stuff was back at the apartment. “Thanks Teemu,” Ville said. “I owe you.”

“It’s okay,” Teemu replied, waving Ville’s comment away with his hand. “If you need help, just knock on my door.”

After Teemu had left, Ville removed his coat and boots and sat down at the kitchen table where he studied the instructions that came with the meds. He didn’t want to make any mistakes. Once he knew what to do, he put everything onto a tray and returned to the bedroom.

~~~

Jari opened his eyes and found himself in alien surroundings once more. This room was bigger than the one at Juha’s apartment. It was kept in black, white and red colors and the heating had been turned up, creating a comfortable warmth in the room. The bed was king-sized and a comforter offered extra warmth. As he searched the room, he encountered a picture. The three blond men on it seemed familiar and he wracked his brain to remember the names of two of them. He didn’t get much time to do that though as his lungs acted up again, sending him down spirals of coughing. His throat ached, his upper body hurt and his eyes filled with tears of misery.

“Help is underway,” Ville said upon entering his bedroom. “I bring meds!”

Jari blinked and suddenly recalled the blond’s name. “Ville,” he whispered in a raw voice.

“Yes, that’s me.” Ville smiled and sat down on the side of the bed. “Are you ready for your meds? I finally figured out the instructions.” He gave Jari a wink.

Jari gave the content of the tray a hungry look. He recognized the pills and inhalers on it. They would help him get better.

“Let’s do this first,” Ville said and handed Jari an inhaler. “The brown one goes first.” Since the two inhalers possessed a different color he used it to tell them apart. Jari raised a shaky hand and Ville handed it to the younger man. “You know what to do?”

Jari nodded and applied the inhaler, drawing the soothing substance deeply into his lungs. He didn’t need Ville to tell him to drink a mouthful of water and then reached for green one. He deeply inhaled its substance too and drank more water. He would feel less short of breath in a few minutes.

“Now drink this. I dissolved one of the tablets in it. It’ll help loosen the congestion in your lungs so you can cough it up easier.” Ville had to keep his fingers curled around Jari’s because the younger man was shaking again.

Jari took small sips, and although it took him over a minute to empty the glass, he managed. He wondered how his body would deal with the sudden intake of all this medication. Hopefully his body would react well to it and he’d recover quickly. He didn’t want to be a burden to Ville.

“Next are the antibiotics, but you need to eat something before you can take them. I found some pudding in the fridge – chocolate-flavored. Do you think you can manage a few spoonfuls?”

“I can try,” Jari whispered. He didn’t want Ville having to feed him and reached for the spoon himself. His hand still shook, but he managed a few mouthfuls. “Enough?” he asked and gave Ville a hopeful look. If he ate more he would throw up again.

“It’ll do.” Ville put the antibiotics into the palm of Jari’s hand and handed him the water so he could swallow them. Next, he gave Jari one of the sleeping pills. “That’s it for the moment. You should try to get more sleep. You’re confined to the bed for the next week, doctor’s orders.”

Jari frowned. Doctor’s orders? Ah yes, he remembered. They had dragged him into a doctor’s office. But before he could get back to sleep, there was something which he needed to know. “Where are…we? I don’t…know…this room.”

Ville hoped Jari wouldn’t panic. So far, that had been Jari’s first reaction to finding himself in new surroundings. “I decided to drive back home. Juha’s apartment was getting cramped and here, we have more space and privacy. You’re in my room and I’ll sleep in Jonne’s.” Jari’s reaction surprised him, but in a good way. The younger man looked about and smiled weakly.

“Your room is really nice.” Jari, feeling more relaxed now that the inhalers enabled him to breathe more freely, even managed a weak smile which he aimed at Ville. “You’ve got a good life here.” He closed his eyes and tried to fight the suffocating feeling rising from within his lungs. Another coughing fit was coming up.

“Trust me, I know that. I was really happy when Jonne got my out of that home.” Ville carefully monitored Jari’s reaction. It had been his intention to make Jari curious and he succeeded. The dark eyes opened again and fastened questioningly on him.

“Home as in…children’s home?” Jari wasn’t sure he had gotten it right.

Ville nodded. “I spent some years there, just like Jonne. When he was old enough to leave, he managed to get a job and his own apartment. I was allowed to move in with him. We’ve been living together ever since, not counting the two months during which I had my own place.”

Jari lost the fight to keep down the fit and coughed violently. The inhalers worked and were loosening the congestion. “You’d better…give me something…to…” It would be best to spit out the mucus.

Ville got the hint and fetched a bowl from the kitchen. “You can use this.”

Jari spit into the bowl and put it aside. Frowning thoughtfully, he whispered, “Did you like living at the shelter?” He was tired and wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay awake, but he really wanted to ask Ville some questions.

“It was okay, I guess. I liked it better when I moved in with Jonne. The people at the home were nice and I made a lot of friends there, but… I wanted to be with my brother instead.” Ville knew he was taking a risk, when he asked, “You were at a home too, weren’t you? You mentioned something like that earlier.”

“I did?” Jari didn’t remember much of the things he had told Ville. Ville nodded firmly and Jari knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to the blond, who gave him a pleading look. “For a short time only…”

“You didn’t like it there,” Ville said. Seeing Jari’s questioningly look, he added, “You said that you didn’t want them to find you. Your father and the people at the home. How bad was it?”

Shivering, Jari turned his head away from Ville. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He closed his eyes and managed to draw in a few deep breaths.

Ville patted Jari’s hand in what was hopefully a soothing manner. It warmed his heart that Jari actually allowed it and wasn’t flinching beneath the touch. “Try to rest then. You really need to catch up on a lot of sleep.”

“Ville?” Jari opened his eyes again, and although they threatened to close again, he managed to focus on the blond long enough to say, “Thanks… Thank you for everything…” His eyes closed again and he slipped into sleep.

Ville squeezed Jari’s hand and smiled thoughtfully. “It’s okay. I’m glad that I can do this for you.” He kept his fingers curled around Jari’s and continued to study the young man’s face. He wanted nothing more than for Jari to recover and smile again.

TBC

Part 4

Jonne rode the bus back to the center and spent some hours strolling the streets. He did some shopping, made sure he had everything he needed for a romantic dinner and even bought some massage oil, just in case Juha would be in the mood for a nice backrub after work.

Digging the key to Juha’s apartment out of his pocket, Jonne grinned. It had been thoughtful of Juha to get him one. He let himself in and went straight into the kitchen where he put away his groceries. Next, he headed for the bedroom and placed the massage oil onto the nightstand. Hopefully no one would disturb them tonight – he really wanted to make love to the redhead.

After removing his coat and slipping out of his boots, Jonne went into the living room and cuddled up beneath a blanket. He uncovered his mobile phone and called Ville. He had to know that everything was fine.

~~~

“Ville here,” he said, after having seen his brother’s name on the display. “Jonne, we’re fine.”

“I had to check, you understand that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” Ville stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. “Jari’s asleep. The meds kicked in and help ease his breathing.”

“That’s good news. Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes, I went grocery shopping the other day, but I’ll ask Nakki to get stuff for me, should I need something. Don’t worry. Jari and I are fine. Really!”

“Alright…then I’ll let you go. Keep me updated though.”

“I will,” Ville replied and ended the call. He went back into his bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed. In spite of the movement, Jari didn’t wake up and Ville studied the younger man’s face. “I’ll take care of you,” he promised, although he didn’t really know why that was so important to him.

~~~

Juha was tired when he got home that evening. His day had been hectic and he still wondered why people always stressed out around him. There really was no point in doing that – getting riled up didn’t mean the work got done any faster! He was still lost in thought when he unlocked the door to his apartment building. He switched on the light in the corridor and climbed the stairs. It was a good thing that it was Friday. The weekend was about to start and that meant sleeping in and getting some peace and quiet.

He frowned when he saw that the light was on in his apartment. Had he forgotten to switch it off? Oh no, how could he have forgotten about Jonne staying with him? Damn job – made him loss the few brain cells he had!

He started unlocking the door to his apartment, but before he could finish, the door opened and Jonne appeared in the doorway. Jonne smiled at him and there was a wicked expression in the blue eyes. “Hello, babe, I missed you,” he whispered fatigued and enfolded Jonne in a hug.

“Hard day?” Jonne pulled Juha inside and closed the door behind the redhead. He hadn’t held a regular job for long, but still remembered how taxing working at the kindergarten had been.

Juha nodded and got out of his coat and shoes. “Why do people always stress? Why can’t they just be patient?”

Jonne wrapped an arm around Juha’s waist and kissed him on the lips. “You can relax now. I got a few ideas about that,” he hinted wickedly.

This time, Juha’s smile was more genuine and he brushed Jonne’s lips with his. “I would love to find out of them.” He hoped he had enough energy left to satisfy his boyfriend.

“Let’s eat first.” Jonne rubbed the small of Juha’s back and guided him into the kitchen. Since Juha didn’t have a dining room, Jonne had readied the kitchen table for dinner. “I hope you like lasagna,” he said and winked at his boyfriend.

“It’s my favorite dish and you know it.” Juha sighed upon seeing the romantic touch Jonne had added. Jonne had placed candles onto the table and they spread a golden glow through the kitchen. In the back, rock ballads could be heard.

“Sit down and I’ll get the food.” Jonne pushed Juha onto a kitchen chair, caressed his boyfriend’s face and walked over to the oven. He hadn’t prepared the lasagna from scratch – he wasn’t that good a cook, but after tasting the lasagna he had felt satisfied. He put two royal servings onto the plates and put them onto the table. Before sitting down, he switched off the main lights. The candles supplied them with enough light to eat. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will. Smells great.” Juha was hungry and dug in. The lasagna tasted great and he reached for his glass of wine. He raised it and said, “To you.”

“No, us.” Jonne smiled and sipped before he started eating. Yes, the lasagna was quite nice. “Are you awfully tired?”

Juha shrugged his shoulders. “Just give me a moment to unwind from work. I’ll be fine.”

Jonne kept watching Juha while the redhead ate. It was time for stage two of his seduction plan. “I can help you unwind.”

Juha smiled at the blond and cocked his head. It was great to have someone to come home to. “Can you?”

“But only after we ate…” Jonne broke eye-contact, wanting Juha to wonder about his plans. “By the way, Ville took Jari home. I checked with him and they arrived safely. It might be for the best… Jari needs space and privacy.”

Juha nodded. “Jari could have stayed here as long as he had wanted.”

“Ville knows that, but… I guess he feels more comfortable at home.” Jonne had finished eating and pushed his plate away from him. He reached for the wine glass and let it dangle from between his fingers. “If it weren’t for the cold I’d really like Helsinki.”

“You get used to it though. When I first got here the city completely overwhelmed me. You know what Oulu is like.”

“Yes, I do. Moving here must have been hard on you.”

“Back then, I wasn’t alone. I had Kristiina. That made living here easier. It took me some time though to get used to living here. I still don’t like the traffic, noise and the crowds. I prefer Oulu, but there’s hardly any work for me there.” Juha sipped from his wine and studied Jonne. “What did you do all day?”

“I walked about a bit, did some shopping, napped and waited for you to get home.” Jonne emptied his glass, got to his feet and moved over to Juha. Raising his hand, he offered it to the redhead. “My offer to help you unwind still stands.”

Juha didn’t know what his boyfriend was up to, but he took Jonne’s hand in his and allowed the blond to pull him to his feet. He followed Jonne into the bedroom, where the lights had been dimmed. “What are you up to?”

“Just let me surprise you…” Jonne licked along Juha’s bottom lip. “First, you need to take off your clothes.”

Juha smirked. “You’re not being very subtle.” He followed Jonne’s instruction though and removed his clothes. “Better?” he asked cheekily once he stood naked in front of the blond.

Jonne had to stop himself from drooling. “Perfect,” he said, sighed, and ran his fingers down Juha’s chest. “Now lie down on the bed, will you? On your front.”

“Not subtle at all,” Juha quipped, but he complied and made himself comfortable on the bed. He turned his head in such a way that he could see what Jonne was doing and it didn’t surprise him to find that Jonne was taking off his clothes too. He hadn’t imagined their first time like that though. Jonne could have been a bit more romantic about it!

Jonne walked over to the bed, crawled onto it and straddled Juha’s lower back. It took most of his strength to not cup the pert buttocks in the palm of his hands and squeeze them. He would do that later. “Let me help you relax a bit.” He reached for the massage oil, let a generous amount drizzle into his palms and warmed it by rubbing his hands together.

Juha sighed blissfully when Jonne’s oiled hands came to rest on his back. He finally got Jonne’s intentions. “Oh, a backrub would be great.” He rested his brow on his forearms and closed his eyes.

Jonne started his massage and Juha relaxed beneath his touch. Muscles, which had been tense a moment ago, now loosened up. “Yes, that’s it. Let go and enjoy the ride.”

Jonne didn’t have to tell him that twice. Getting a backrub after a long day of work felt wonderful.

“Are you purring?” Jonne added more oil and included the shoulders, neck, and upper arms as well. “Oh my, you really are purring – like a big cat.” Jonne chuckled and continued the massage. He felt thrilled that Juha enjoyed it so much.

~~~

Ten minutes later, Jonne didn’t feel that thrilled anymore. He might be mistaken, but the purring had changed to soft snoring. He frowned – Juha couldn’t have possibly fallen asleep… or had he? Bending from the hip, he looked at Juha’s face and found the eyes closed indeed. No, this wasn’t fair! Last night, Ville had disturbed them and now Juha had fallen asleep on him! He wanted sex! Why was it so hard to get some? Damn it…

~~~

Jari slept peacefully for the next few hours thanks to the sleeping meds and didn’t wake until long after dinner time. He blinked a few times in an attempt to drive away the blur that clouded his vision. It took a while for his surroundings to become focused, but then he remembered where he was – in Ville’s room…in the apartment Jonne and Ville shared.

Jari moved about a bit until he was reclining comfortably into the pillows. He reached for the inhalers on the nightstand, drew their soothing substances into their lungs and sighed. Ville had been right all along, of course. He should have seen a doctor when his bronchitis had acted up again, but he had been scared that they would keep him there until a social service worker had showed up to take him back the shelter. He shivered violently – he would never go back there. He would rather die on the streets!

But now Ville had taken him in and Jari had no idea why. Why was the blond so nice to him? Spending money on him and wasting his time on him? Jari shook his head. He knew he wasn’t special and Ville should make better use of his money and time instead of wasting it on him!

“You’re awake. That’s great.” Ville stood in the doorway and had studied his guest for some time. He didn’t know why, but it felt like something was wrong with Jari. “I made chicken soup. If you want some, I’ll get you some.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and clasped Jari’s hand within his. The younger man didn’t flinch, nor did he pull it away – Jari merely stared at him in wonder. “You find it hard to believe that I want to be your friend, don’t you? Why is that?”

Jari sighed and averted his gaze. He didn’t want Ville to know the truth about him. He couldn’t tell the blond – he couldn’t tell anyone ever.

The look of fear, hurt and lost hope wasn’t lost on Ville, who reached for the water bottle which he had put on the nightstand earlier. He uncapped it, poured some into a glass and offered it to Jari. “Drink something. You need fluids.” He cringed at seeing Jari’s hand shake fiercely. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but you’re not alone. I’m here with you.” He squeezed Jari’s other hand and wished the younger man would look at him again.

Jari however merely sipped and kept his gaze averted. Ville wouldn’t want anything to do with him once the blond knew the truth about him. “I can’t tell you,” he whispered eventually. “I hate myself for what happened.”

Ville scooted closer to Jari and squeezed the hand that rested within his. “I don’t know what happened for sure, but I’m not stupid, Jari. Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault. You have to believe me.” Ville realized he had touched a sensitive subject when Jari’s eyes filled with tears. “Really, it wasn’t your fault that they hurt you.”

Jari’s heart missed a beat. “You can’t know…what happened! I didn’t…tell you!” He felt compelled to look at Ville and realized his mistake. Ville *had* figured it out – the expression in those blue eyes told him so. “You can’t know!”

Ville drew in a deep breath. “You hinted at things, and as I said, I’m not stupid.”

Jari lowered his gaze. “You don’t have to touch me. You can let go, you know.”

“But I want to touch you – comfort you. It wasn’t your fault.” Ville placed a finger beneath Jari’s chin and raised the younger man’s head. “It happened at the shelter, didn’t it?” The way Jari flinched told him that he had been right again. “One of the other boys there? Or a social worker?”

Jari didn’t want any of the memories to come back. He had fought long and hard to deal with what had happened and now Ville was making him remember. “Please, don’t make me talk about it.” He coughed, turned his head away from Ville and kept his eyes tightly shut.

Ville sighed. “I won’t force you to talk to me about what has happened, but I want you to know that I’ll listen if you ever feel the need to discuss it. I’ll get that chicken soup now.” He squeezed Jari’s hand one last time, released it and headed for the kitchen, realizing Jari needed a moment to compose himself.

Jari’s tears kept flowing, even after Ville had left the room. Damn Ville for making him remember!

~~~

Jonne was getting fed up with the situation. He was naked, in need of sex and Juha was peacefully asleep next to him, also naked. He wasn’t going to have any more of this stupidity. Crawling closer, he licked along the curve of Juha’s throat and purred into the redhead’s ear. “Wake up, Jupe.”

Juha moaned, displeased at being disturbed when he had been sleeping so soundly. “Five more minutes…please…”

Jonne chuckled. “Don’t worry; you don’t need to get up for work. You only need to get it ‘up’ for me.”

Juha frowned in half-sleep and opened his eyes. That wasn’t his mother’s voice.

“Yes, it’s me.” Jonne showered Juha’s face with tender kisses. “You fell asleep on me.”

Juha grew flustered. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He turned onto his side and pulled Jonne into his arms. “That massage’s to blame.”

“I forgive you,” Jonne whispered and pressed his lips onto Juha’s. The redhead responded by parting his lips and Jonne’s tongue moved inside, tasting his boyfriend. “I want you,” he whispered once they paused their kissing. “I want you so bad.” He was hard and his erection was growing painful. “I don’t care what you’re going to do, but please, do something…” Licking his way down Juha’s throat, he ended up lavishing a nipple. Sliding his tongue even lower, he licked across the head of Juha’s erection, which, to his satisfaction, made the redhead whimper.

Juha reached for Jonne with trembling hands. “Drawer… nightstand…”

Jonne nodded, opened the drawer and removed the condoms from it. “How do you want me?” At the same time, he stroked Juha’s erection, and pressed more seductive kisses at the inside of his boyfriend’s thighs. “Tell me,” he breathed against the sensitive area.

“Ride me,” Juha whispered and ran his hands down Jonne’s back. “I want to feel you...”

Jonne nodded. He wanted Juha so badly that it didn’t really matter what way. He opened one of the packages and slid the condom down Juha’s cock. “I want that too…” It was finally going to happen and damn the person who dared to ring the doorbell now! He would fucking kill him. “I love you,” Jonne whispered and took hold of the oil. He coated the condom with it and twined their hands. Slowly, he moved into position and slid down Juha’s erection.

Juha threw back his head and moaned loudly. “Jonne!” He hadn’t expected the blond to move so quickly, but a minute later, Jonne straddled his waist and he was locked tightly inside the younger man. “You’re fucking insane…”

Jonne gave Juha a wicked look and purred. Leaning in closer, he whispered, “I want you so bad…” He didn’t care about a little pain if that meant they were finally together in that way. “You feel good…” They fit. Biting onto his bottom lip in sheer lust, he threw back his head again and circled his hips, wanting to feel *more*.

The sensation was almost too much for Juha, who sharply drew in his breath. “Fuck…”

“Yes, exactly like that… Let’s fuck…” Jonne caught Juha’s gaze and smiled at him. “Or make love… whatever you want…” He continued to circle his hips until Juha finally caught on and started to thrust. “Even better!” Freeing his hands from Juha’s hold, he placed them against the redhead’s chest and rode his boyfriend like there was no tomorrow. “Harder…”

Juha didn’t need Jonne to tell him twice and thrust harder. At the same time, he wrapped his fingers around Jonne’s cock and stroked firmly. Juha came first, unable to keep back now that Jonne was riding him with such unbridled passion. Crushing Jonne against him, he claimed the blond’s lips in an almost aggressive manner and kissed him.

Jonne climaxed a moment later and came all over Juha’s abdomen. Having lost himself in his passion he bit onto Juha’s bottom lip and actually draw blood. It took him a moment to come down from the sensual high, but when he did, he eased himself onto his boyfriend and cherished the embrace he was wrapped up in. “Love you,” he whispered against Juha’s chest and teasingly licked at a nipple.

Juha cradled Jonne against him and licked along the curve of the blond’s ear. “That was…” Lacking the right words to describe the motions he was going through, he settled for holding Jonne close and rubbing his boyfriend’s back. “That was exactly what I needed.”

“Same goes for me,” Jonne whispered against Juha’s chest. He made himself comfortable and wrapped arms and legs around Juha. The redhead didn’t realize it yet, but now that he had him, Jonne would never let him go again.

~~~

Ville returned twenty minutes later, hoping that Jari had had enough time to compose himself. He hated having upset the younger man with his questions, but he deemed it important that Jari talked about the things that had happened in the past. “I hope you’re hungry. I made chicken soup!”

Jari, who had been dozing, opened his eyes to look at the blond. He felt grateful toward Ville, but hated the fact that those questions had brought everything back. It didn’t help that the fever made him feel disorientated and half of the time he wasn’t sure he was merely thinking something or actually saying it.

Ville seated himself on the bed and placed the tray on Jari’s lap. “I hope you’ll like it. I’m not much of a cook. All I did was remove it from the package and heat it.”

“I’m sure it’ll taste fine. It’s food after all.” He had been hungry all the time when he had lived on the streets. He had Ville to thank for feeling full for a change, even if he didn’t manage much food to begin with. He curled his fingers around the mug Ville had put the soup in and managed to drink from it without making a mess. “You don’t have to stay close all the time.”

“I want to. I want to make sure that you’re all right.”

“Why? You hardly know me.”

That *was* a good question. The problem was that Ville didn’t know the answer himself. “I really don’t know. I like you… I care about you. I don’t want you to go back onto the streets.”

“I’ll have to eventually,” Jari said in-between coughs. They weren’t as painful though as they had been yesterday. “I don’t have a place to stay and I won’t go back to the shelter.”

“You can stay here,” Ville said, meaning every word of it. “We’ll find a way to make things work. I don’t want you to back into the cold.”

Ville’s words had touched Jari, but he also knew it was unrealistic to think that way. “I can’t. Your brother will return and you’ll need your room again. I can’t stay.”

“The bed’s big. If you don’t mind me sleeping on one side, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“But why? You hardly know me!”

It always came down to that question. Ville shrugged. “I don’t know why. Honestly, I can’t tell you why. I just know that I like you and that I don’t want you to die on the streets. Can’t you accept that?”

Jari sipped more of his chicken soup and considered Ville’s answer. “You must understand. Nothing ever came for free in my life, and your offer is… I find it hard to believe that you have no hidden motives.”

Ville nodded. “I get that, but it’s the truth.”

Jari considered it as he emptied the mug. “Ville, don’t take this personally, but I never met anyone like you -- someone who wants to help without attaining any personal gain.”

Ville decided to let the matter rest for now. They were moving in circles. “Do you like the soup? Do you want more?”

Jari shook his head. “It’s good,” he clarified. “But I don’t think my stomach can handle more.” He placed the mug onto the tray and studied Ville. The blond looked innocent enough, but looks could be deceiving. “You’re a nice person, Ville.”

Ville blushed. “I don’t think that highly of me. I’m a spoiled brat. I didn’t want to admit that though.”

“No spoiled brat would pick someone up from the street and help him without wanting something in turn.” Jari pulled the comforter closer and gave Ville a sleepy look. “Give yourself some credit.”

Ville shrugged. “You should get more sleep. Do you need anything before turning in for the night?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Jari took heart and squeezed Ville’s hand in turn. “It takes a special kind of person to take in someone like me. Most people would have looked the other way…” Jari coughed and then continued. “You reached out to me and took me in. You’re special, Ville. Really.” The look Ville directed at him made Jari feel shy and he averted his gaze.

Ville didn’t know what to say and merely took in Jari’s kind words. “I’ll bring more water so you can take a sleeping pill.”

For some reason – which surprised Jari – he didn’t want to let go of Ville’s hand. He hadn’t though it possible, but the blond made him feel safe and wanted. “I’m grateful that you entered my life, Ville.”

Ville swallowed hard. He had everything – a nice home, two brothers who loved him and lived his dream, namely making music and having a band. Jari had nothing – the younger man lived on the streets and his sole possessions had probably been the clothes he had worn. It had taken someone like Jari to make Ville aware of just how lucky he was. Tears welled up in his eyes and he quickly wiped at them.

“Hey, you have no reason to cry.” Although he felt weak and tired, Jari pulled Ville into his arms and hugged him loosely.

Ville didn’t know what to say and the dam inside him broke. He had kept everything inside for so long and it needed a way out—disappointing Jonne and Tommi when it came down to Flinch. The fear and pain of being shot. The knowledge, that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be as successful as Jonne.

Jari didn’t know what had prompted this outburst, but he held Ville as tightly as he could and rocked him.

~~~

It took Ville a few minutes to calm down again. Feeling utterly embarrassed, he gave Jari an apologetic look. “Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“We’re only human,” Jari whispered and even managed a smile. “Do you feel better now?”

Ville nodded. That was also when he realized that he was in Jari’s arms. The younger man had pulled him into an embrace. It felt good to be held like that. “I should get dinner started. It’s already nine in the evening.”

Jari *was* hungry, but didn’t want Ville to go through extra trouble because of him. He was about to say so when Ville unexpectedly placed a finger against his lips. As a result Jari remained silent.

“I need to eat too,” Ville said, taking away Jari’s argument before the younger man had had a chance to say anything. “I lost weight recently and I need to put it back on.”

Jari coughed, but got it back under control. The meds were helping. “May I ask…why you…lost it?”

“It was an accident,” Ville replied, still enjoying being locked in an embrace. “We were fooling around and had a bit too much to drink. We were target practicing on some cans with our guns and a friend of mine hit me instead.”

Jari’s eyes widened. “Guns are dangerous! Especially when you have had alcohol!”

“Trust me, I know that now too. I won’t make that mistake again.” Ville grew flustered as he found himself telling Jari things which he hadn’t even talked to his therapist about. The therapy had been Tommi’s idea, but Ville found it hard to trust the psychologist and always closed down during a session. “I’ve had some problems regarding alcohol and I try to remain sober now. It’s hard though.”

Jari wondered how Ville could have problems like that on such a young age. What had gone wrong in the blond’s life?

Ville’s stomach growled and he smiled at Jari. “See? Dinner is a must. I’ll make something that goes easy on your stomach. Why don’t you nap in the meantime?”

Jari wasn’t really tired, but he knew resting that rest was the best thing for him. “Don’t go through extra trouble because of me, okay?”

“I’ll have a look in the fridge and see what we’ve got to eat. If I mess up, we can always order in.”

The ease with which Ville said that, reminded Jari of the fact that something like ordering in was a luxury he couldn’t afford.

~~~

“Nakki? I need your help.” Ville felt embarrassed for having to call his friend, but he didn’t want to be responsible for having food poisoning on his hands. “How long do I need to grill the chicken? How do I know if it’s ready to be served?”

Nakki, at the other end, chuckled amused. “You’re making chicken? What happened to take out? Pizza? Stuff like that?”

“I’m having a guest over and I want to prepare something healthy for a change. Chicken *is* healthy, isn’t it?”

Nakki continued to chuckle. “Depends on how you prepare it. Did you put in the griddle pan?”

“Yes, it’s been in there for five minutes and I’ve kept the flame low.” Ville hoped Nakki could help him out. “How much longer does it need?”

“Turn it around and when it’s been in there for ten minutes, get out a knife and cut into it. Make sure it’s no longer pink on the inside, but white. You should be safe when you do that.”

“And how about cooking rice? I’ve put it in hot water and it’s boiling away.”

“Turn the flame down, put a lid on it and drain the water when it has boiled for ten minutes. Let it sit for five more and it should be okay. Any more questions?”

“I think I can manage the peas and baby carrots…” Ville bit onto his bottom lip. “Thanks, Nakki. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Hey, Ville, who’s your guest? Who did you bring home with you?” Nakki sounded curious.

“I met someone in Helsinki and he’s ill so I offered to take care of him. Nakki, I…” Ville didn’t finish, uncertain what he had wanted to say in the first place. “I like him.”

“What’s his name?” Nakki asked.

“Jari… and I should feed him now and don’t worry, I’ll eat too. I *know* that I’m too skinny!” Cooking for Jari might help him put on some weight as well. “If you want to drop by, you’re always welcome…”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Ville smiled even though Nakki didn’t see it. His friend had always been good at reading between the lines and Nakki knew the invitation for what it was. “Thanks for the help and bye!”

“Bye, Ville! I hope dinner will taste just fine!”

Ville ended the conversation, put down his phone and turned toward the stove to take care of dinner.

TBC

Part 5

Jari tried to sleep, but couldn’t. He was much too awake for that. So, in order to fight his boredom, he looked about and gave the bedroom a closer look. There were a number of pictures, all framed, and all showed the three brothers. Jari made a mental note to ask about the third, older man in those pictures. Lots of shawls, scarves, sparkling accessories, hats and make up filled the room and gave it a personal touch. It was a nice room, and had it been his, Jari would have felt at home there. But it wasn’t his, and that only served to remind him that he was a guest here at best. Ville had assured him that he wouldn’t kick him out, but you never knew. Things like living arrangements and relationships could change within a single heartbeat.

“Dinner’s ready. I hope you’re hungry.” Ville stood in the doorway and studied the black-haired man in bed. “Do you want me to serve it in here or would you like to eat in the dining room? That is, if you feel up to that.”

“I need to go to the bathroom at any rate…” Jari whispered after sipping some water. “And I would like to be out of bed, even for a short time.”

“I’ll help,” Ville offered. He was happy that Jari seemed better. Although the feverish expression remained in the dark eyes, the coughing had lessened and so had the raw edge to Jari’s voice. His voice was starting to sound smoother again, probably going back to its normal state. “Bathroom first?”

“That would be best…” Jari pushed the comforter away and realized he was still wearing Juha’s sweats. What had become of his clothes? They had been tattered, but at least they had belonged to him.

“Maybe you want to take a bath in the morning?” Ville curled an arm around Jari’s waist and helped him to his feet. “We got a bathtub, you know.”

The cheekiness with which Ville said that made Jari grin. “Maybe,” he whispered, not wanting to be a burden, but it would be nice to get the sweat off. With Ville’s help he made it into the bathroom. It took him a moment to convince Ville that it was safe for the blond to stay in the corridor. Jari needed some privacy in there. Ville agreed and paced the corridor while Jari relieved himself. After washing his hands, he looked into the mirror situated above the sink and cringed at seeing the sorry state he was in. Not much remained of the carefree youngster he had once been – before everything had gone wrong. The eyes were sunken, his jaw line protruded and his lips showed a bitter smile. No, he didn’t want to be like that. He wanted to go back to being himself – the Jari he liked.

“Is everything okay in there?” Growing worried, Ville knocked on the door. “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine,” Jari said and swallowed hard, even when doing so hurt. It would take some time for his throat to heal from the excessive coughing. Jari made his way over to the door, opened it, and was immediately welcomed into a hug. He blinked in surprise.

“I don’t want you to fall,” Ville explained his spontaneous action, which had surprised even himself. Keeping one arm wrapped around Jari’s shoulder, he guided him into the dining room where he helped his guest to sit down. “I hope I didn’t do anything wrong with the food. Nakki told me how to prepare it, but I’m a bad cook since I hardly ever cook.”

“It’ll be fine,” Jari said in an effort to reassure the blond. He had been hungry too many times to turn away food because it might not taste good. He waited for Ville to sit down as well and didn’t start eating until the blond had had his first bite. Putting a piece of chicken into his mouth, a smile surfaced on his face. He chewed, swallowed and said, “You shouldn’t underestimate your cooking skills.”

Ville blushed. “I had help. Nakki told me what to do.”

Jari grew curious in spite of wanting to be on his guard. “Who’s Nakki?”

“A good friend of mine. Well, actually he’s Jonne’s friend, but I stole him.” Ville was relieved that the food had turned out alright. Jari ate slowly and Ville could tell that swallowing the food hurt, but the black-haired man *was* eating.

“That’s a weird name…for someone to be called that,” Jari clarified.

“His real name is Janne, but everyone calls him Snack or Nakki. He looks a bit like one, you know,” Ville chuckled.

Jari smiled along. He hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time. The food was good, the company interesting and he was warm. What else could he wish for?

“I should probably warn you. Jonne and I have friends over all the time, so don’t be surprised if the door bell rings.”

Well, that wasn’t what Jari had wanted to hear and his relaxed mood disappeared. Instead, he turned nervous again. He didn’t like running into strangers.

“But you don’t need to worry about them!” Ville said quickly after having seen Jari’s expression grow worried again. “Jonne doesn’t trust easily and he only allows people in whom he knows are friends and mean well.”

Jari nodded, but still worried. He managed a few more pieces of chicken, some rice and even a few mouthfuls of peas. He felt full, and although he could have continued to eat, his stomach would rebel if he did. It was a damn shame though to leave food on his plate. Maybe Ville could store it instead of throwing it into the bin?

Ville had had his fill as well and put down his fork and knife. “You’re right,” he grinned. “It actually tasted okay. Jonne and I seldom cook. Most of the time we eat out and order in.”

Jari placed his cutlery onto the plate as well, feeling tired all of sudden. He couldn’t remember ever growing tired because he had eaten before.

“Wait!” Ville realized that Jari wouldn’t remain awake much longer and quickly got the antibiotics which had to be taken along with some food. ‘Take this.” He placed the tablet in Jari’s hand and offered him some water.

Jari took it and swallowed it. “I’m sorry…” he whispered.

“That’s okay. Do you want to go back to bed or settle down in front of the television in the living room? Our couch is extremely comfortable,” Ville said and winked at his guest.

It would be nice to have some semblance of normalcy by watching some television, but Jari knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake for long. He didn’t want to go back to bed though. He felt isolated there and rather had Ville’s company. “You decide,” he said beneath his breath.

“Living room then. Let’s get you comfortable there and when it’s time to go to sleep, I’ll help you get back into bed.” Ville wanted Jari’s company in turn, even when the younger man would fall asleep the moment he had settled down on the couch. Ville helped Jari to his feet and the two men made their way over to the couch in the living room. After Ville had helped Jari get comfortable, he retrieved a blanket and sat down next to his charge. “Is this okay? Or am I too close?”

Jari flinched, understanding exactly why Ville had asked him that and he wished the blond had never found out about his past. “It’s okay.” He hadn’t thought he would ever want to trust again, but Ville seemed sincere in his desire to help. It was hard to trust though – hard to allow anyone in that close, but he had to try. “Can I…?” He rested his head against Ville’s shoulder and closed his eyes in fatigue.

“Sure, lean against me…” Ville wrapped an arm around Jari so the younger man could get more comfortable. “Like this?” he tucked the blanket around their forms, hoping his body heat would warm Jari from the inside.

“Like…that…” Jari muttered and his eyes closed. As he was sitting up, his lungs experienced less pressure and he fell asleep with minutes.

Ville drew in a deep breath and ran his tongue across his bottom lip in thought. It was obvious that Jari was making an effort to trust him and allow him in and that fact touched Ville who knew how hard that had to be on the street kid.

~~~

“Morning,” Jonne purred into Juha’s ear. “Love you, Jupe,” he whispered and licked along the nape of his lover’s neck. He had ended up spooned behind the redhead, holding him tight. “Did you sleep well?”

Juha smiled and turned his head so he could look at the blond from over his shoulder. “I had great dreams… How about you?”

“Same here.” Jonne sighed deeply and bit playfully into Juha’s shoulder. “I have a problem though.”

Juha was very much aware of Jonne’s ‘problem’, as the blond’s erection pressed against his backside. “Then why don’t you do something about it? There’s nothing like a good fuck in the morning, don’t you think?”

Jonne whimpered: Juha’s words had made him even harder. “You phrased it like that on purpose!”

“Sure I did.” They weren’t new to the game and he knew what would turn his lover on. “Why don’t you…” Juha left the sentence unfinished and handed Jonne a condom instead. “This one comes with lubrication… Handy…” He grinned wickedly at the blond. “Don’t make me wait too long.” He pulled his knees close to his chest and closed his eyes in joyous anticipation of what was to come.

Jonne hadn’t thought it would be so easy to get Juha to make love, but apparently the redhead wanted it as much as he did. “You have no idea what you do to me. You make me so damn horny!”

“Show me,” Juha said and looked at Jonne from over his shoulder again.

Jonne loved a challenge. He reached for the massage oil, dipped a finger into it and slid it down Juha’s lower back until it reached the entrance to his lover’s body. “I want you so much,” Jonne whispered and kissed along the curve of Juha’s throat. Playfully, he bit into the sensitive skin, but without drawing any blood. Once he heard Juha whimper in need, he slowly slipped a finger into the channel. “Fuck, you’re so warm inside… and tight…”

Juha’s right hand stole to his groin to touch himself. “Jonne…” Stroking loosely, the pleasure he received from that touch helped him relax and Jonne immediately added another oiled finger.

Jonne shook his head in amazement. Juha was full of surprises. “ I want you more than anything in the world,” he whispered and licked along the curve of Juha’s ear. His other hand slipped across Juha’s chest and rolled a pert nipple between his fingertips in an effort to draw more moans from his lover.

In answer to that extra stimulation, Juha rubbed his bottom against Jonne’s groin, causing those probing fingers to slide in deeper and to hit that special spot inside him. Juha had to stop pleasuring himself because he was too close to the edge already. “Jonne… Take me…”

Jonne slipped the condom over his cock and inched closer. Sliding slowly inside the tight channel, he bit onto his bottom lip in sheer ecstasy. Juha was incredibly tight and this pulsating glove around him almost made him come. It took most of his discipline to move slowly instead of just thrusting hard. “So tight…” His lips attached themselves to Juha’s throat and he suckled the skin there, knowing full well his action would leave a passion mark for everyone to see.

Slowly pushing back, Juha caused Jonne to move deeper inside him and it didn’t take them long to establish a rhythm that satisfied them both. With Jonne’s arms tightly wrapped around him, Juha returned to pleasuring himself. Moans and whimpers floated through the bedroom and Juha reached his peak much too quickly for his taste.

Jonne groaned as the sudden tightening of Juha’s channel around him caused him to climax as well. Penetrating his lover as deeply as he could, he pressed against the redhead and closed his eyes in bliss. Finally – it had finally happened.

~~~

It was close to midnight when Ville started to yawn. It was about time he got some sleep! Looking to his left, he found that Jari was still soundly asleep. If only Jari had gotten those meds sooner! Raising a hand which trembled minutely because he felt like he was trespassing, he pushed Jari’s black locks away from the face. The next time Ville visited his hairdresser, he would take Jari along. The younger man’s hair desperately needed to be trimmed.

“Let’s get you back in bed, Jari.” Ville removed the blanket, switched off the television which he had hardly watched and smiled at Jari. Watching Jari had been way more interesting than that documentary.

Jari had registered Ville’s words, even in his sleep, and opened his eyes.

“Ah, you’re awake. Even better. Come on, the bed is way more comfortable.” Ville pulled Jari to his feet and they made their way over into the bedroom. “Do you want your sleeping pill?”

“I don’t think I need it… Just the inhalers…” Jari reclined into the pillows and reached for them. Ville however beat him to it handed them to him. Jari used the inhalers and handed them back to the blond. After sipping some of the bottled water, he peeked at Ville and whispered, “I can never thank you enough for what you’re doing for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Ville’s fingers were curled around Jari’s once more. “I’m happy that I can do this for you and that you’re letting me.” Ville tucked the comforter around Jari’s form and squeezed the younger man’s fingers again. “I’m going to turn in too, but if you need anything, just call me. I’m a light sleeper.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jari whispered. His eyes were already closing again.

“I really hope so,” Ville said in a worried voice. “I really do.”

~~~

“What are we going to do today?” Jonne stretched in a cat-like manner and caressed Juha’s face. They were still in bed, and although it was very satisfying to be curled up like that, his body demanded he had breakfast or an early lunch.

Juha cupped Jonne’s face in the palm of his hand and looked into the blue eyes. “Are you telling me that you actually want to do something instead of being lazy and staying in bed all day long? Are you the same person that never wanted to go outside in Oulu?”

“I’m hungry,” Jonne admitted embarrassed. “That implies I need to move.”

Juha blinked and then frowned. “We’ll have to get some groceries. Normally I do that after work on Fridays, but yesterday I hurried home and I doubt you bought food for the weekend.”

“You’re right. I didn’t think further than preparing that lasagna.”

Juha smiled wickedly. “That means we need to hit the stores!”

Normally Jonne wouldn’t mind going shopping, but Helsinki was cold and here in bed he was warm. “Must we?”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t live on love alone.”

“You’re right, of course,” Jonne admitted. “We’ll hit the stores then.”

~~~

“Good idea,” Jonne said thoughtfully. “I should make sure no one recognizes me too.” Surprised, he frowned when Juha burst out laughing. “What?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” He had pulled his hair in a pony tail and put his glasses on which he always wore when he was driving his car. “I look like this in normal life!”

Jonne had the grace to blush. “Sorry,” he whispered in a barely audible voice.

“It’s okay,” Juha said and pulled Jonne into his arms. “You should go incognito though. Feel free to raid my closet.”

Jonne pressed his body against Juha’s. Since they had made love, he felt even deeper connected to the redhead. “I’m glad you came into my life. Sometimes I lose direction. It’s hard at times, being such a public persona and most people I hang out with expect fans to turn up. It’s different with you. You’re so incredibly down to earth. I need that. I need someone who gives me a reality check at times.”

“I can do that for you, no problem. Now, get dressed. I’m hungry.” Juha placed a kiss onto Jonne’s brow and turned the blond around, pushing him into the direction of his bedroom.

~~~

Juha and Jonne ended up having breakfast in a café and then invaded the stores. They went to Stockman first, got their groceries and tucked everything away in the trunk of Juha’s car. Then they returned to the stores to shop some more. It was a great experience for Jonne to be able to move about like without fans discovering him and running after him. Juha’s calm and caring manner made that Jonne felt even more comfortable and for some moments, he forgot that he partly belonged to the public.

~~~

“Morning,” Ville said as he knocked onto the door to his bedroom, which was weird in a way, since it was *his* bedroom in the first place. “Are you awake yet?”

Jari had been awake for a few minutes already. “Yes, you can come inside.”

Ville peeked around the door and smiled at his guest. “You look better!” It was amazing how much good sleep had done Jari. “I bet you’re hungry!”

“I’m still full from dinner,” Jari whispered. It was unusual for him to eat more than a meal a day. Normally he would go for one, maybe even two days without proper food. To have another meal so quickly was…odd.

“You need to eat. Otherwise you can’t take the antibiotics.” Ville walked over to the bed and sat down. “How about breakfast first and then a long soak in the bathtub?”

“You don’t have to do all these things for me,” Jari muttered, feeling like a burden.

“But I want to.”

Looking down, Jari realized that Ville was holding his hand and the weird thing was that he didn’t feel the need to break the contact by removing his. He liked the contact – why was that? He didn’t like people touching him in general. “Okay then.”

“Great! I’ll get breakfast ready. You stay here and rest. I’ll get you when I’m done.” Ville rose from the bed and marched toward the kitchen.

Jari looked down again and felt strangely bereft now that Ville had let go of his hand. Since when was he able to enjoy another man’s touch like that?

~~~

“What are you doing up on your feet?” Ville looked worried.

Jari, standing in the doorway, gave Ville a pleading look. “I need to be able to do things myself. I don’t want to become dependent on you.” He had waited for Ville to get him for fifteen minutes, and when the blond hadn’t shown up, he had put his feet on the floor and pushed himself upright. He had been wobbly, but he had managed to stay on his feet.

“Sit down, will you?” Ville moved over to Jari and guided him to the kitchen chair. “You startled me!”

“Sorry,” Jari whispered and felt guilty for upsetting Ville. He hadn’t thought the blond would react like that. “I’m used to taking care of myself. Nobody else does that when you live on the streets,” he tried to explain.

“Oh, I’m thrilled that you’re becoming more active, I just worry that you might overestimate yourself!” Ville looked Jari over and found that the younger man was slightly out of breath. “Coffee or tea?”

“I like both…” Jari shrugged.

“Tea then….” Ville put a cup of tea in front of Jari, along with a glass of orange juice. “What do you want to eat? Porridge? Cornflakes? Bread?”

Jari felt overwhelmed. “You decide…”

Ville frowned. Why did Jari want him to decide all the time? “What would *you* like?” he asked.

“Ville, I don’t know… It’s been so long since…there was so much food and…” Jari shrugged and looked at Ville hoping the blond would understand.

Ville had a hard time understanding what Jari’s problem was, but in the end, he grasped the younger man’s problem. “How about some cornflakes with milk?”

Jari nodded in relief. “Sounds great.” He clasped his fingers around the tea cup and blew onto the surface in order to cool the liquid. Ville placed a rather large serving of cornflakes in front of him and drowned everything in milk. In-between coughs, Jari managed to eat half of it, but then his stomach rebelled. It wasn’t used to such large amounts of food anymore. He swallowed the pills Ville handed him and tried to subdue the shivers running through his body. He was still running a fever and he felt cold and hot at the same time.

“I’ll fill up the bathtub for you in a second.” It was obvious that Jari was getting better, but Ville wasn’t satisfied yet. He really wanted the fever to go away.

~~~

“Can you manage yourself or do you need help?” Ville had filled up the bathtub, put towels onto the stool next to it and had even added bath foam to the water. “Shampoo is over there…”

“Thank you,” Jari whispered in a shy voice. He had refused to part from his sweats yet and was waiting for Ville to leave so he could undress. It was stupid in a way, since Ville had already seen him naked, but still – he didn’t want to feel embarrassed.

“If you need me, just call!” Ville got the hint and left the bathroom. He left the bathroom door ajar though, so he could help if necessary.

Jari sat down on the stool, removed the sweats and slowly stepped into the bathtub. He lowered himself into the water and rested his head against the rim. This was sheer heaven. The warm water cradled him and the bath foam created a pleasant fragrance that floated through the room. His lungs liked the steamy warmth and his breathing eased up. The steam, the inhalers and the antibiotics fought the congestion in his lungs and Jari hoped he would recover quickly. And then what, he wondered. What was he supposed to do after he was back on his feet? Where should he go? It was still winter, snow covered Helsinki’s streets and the cold wind would cause his bronchitis to return within days if he didn’t find shelter. Damn Ville for making everything complicated again. Now he was forced to actually consider his future.

The question however was, did he have one?

~~~

Jari bit onto his bottom lip upon realizing that he was still too wobbly to get out of the tub on his own. He could try, but was scared he would end up falling and creating even more problems. The best thing to do was to call Ville, but that meant that the blond would see him naked – totally naked. He wasn’t really comfortable with that, but didn’t have much choice. “Ville?”

Ville reacted at once and pushed the door open. “Yes?”

“Can you help me get up? I’m afraid I’ll slip and then you have another problem on your hands.”

“You’re not a problem!” Ville walked over to the bathtub, took hold of a towel and unfolded it. “Come on; let’s get you out of there.”

Jari pushed himself to his feet and grew flustered when he stood naked in front of Ville. During these last two years he had done everything within his power to prevent him from getting into a situation like this and now he had asked Ville to get close.

Ville noticed the way Jari tensed and did his best not to react to it. He folded the towel around Jari’s form and wrapped the black hair up in another towel. “Okay, let’s do one foot at a time. Hold on to me if you’re dizzy.”

Jari had no choice but to rest a hand on Ville’s shoulder in order to steady himself. He was dizzy and needed the support.

“Sit down…” Ville made sure Jari sat down and rubbed his skin dry, not paying any attention to the shivers that shook the younger man’s body. “Alright, we’re done.”

Jari felt relieved. It was a good thing that the fabric of the towel presented a barrier between him and Ville. He was slowly beginning to trust Ville – but it was still a fragile trust at that stage.

“I’ll get you some clean clothes,” Ville announced. “Can you stay like this for a minute?”

Jari nodded. That shouldn’t be a problem. He pulled the towel close while Ville left the bathroom. The bath had really refreshed him and eased his breathing, but he hadn’t thought of the fact that he would be naked during it. The situation brought back painful memories and he quickly pushed them away. He didn’t want to dwell on the past.

“Okay, let’s get you into these. I hope you don’t mind wearing Winni the Pooh print.”

Jari raised his gaze and blinked. The pajamas in Ville’s hands really had a Winni the Pooh print on them! “You can’t be serious!”

“They’re not mine,” Ville quickly said. “They’re Jonne’s! I know, the print’s awful, but they’re made of a lovely soft material that will keep you warm.”

Jari relented, knowing he didn’t really have much of a choice. He should be grateful for everything Ville did for him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing while Ville put him into the pajamas. He endured the touches and was relieved when he was wearing clothes once more.

“I’m done. So, where do you want to go? Bedroom? Living room…couch?” Ville wanted to make sure that Jari felt in control and that he knew he could make choices – if he wanted to.

“Living room would be great…” Jari peeked at Ville and found the blond smiling. It meant a lot to him that Ville didn’t try anything. Jari wasn’t sure how he would react if Ville would try something. He owed Ville a lot and…

“Hey, I don’t know what’s on your mind, but you look scared.” Ville draped his morning robe across Jari’s shoulders and removed the towel from around the head. He ran his fingers through the black mane removing the worst tangles. “I won’t hurt you. You can trust me. I know it takes time for you to believe that, but I mean it.” He smoothed the black hair back and smiled at Jari.

Jari nervously moistened his lips. “Thanks for…understanding…” He gave Ville a shy smile.

“Let’s move you into the living room where you can sleep.” Ville gently pulled Jari to his feet and together they made their way over to the living room. Ville tucked Jari in and handed him the remote control. “Just in case you want to watch something.”

“What are you going to do then?”

“Clean up the kitchen and the bathroom, get dressed and call my doctor to get you another appointment so he can check on you. Do you need anything before I get busy?”

Jari shook his head and rested it against the couch. “I’m…fine.” He really was. What else could he wish for?

“Great. I’ll join you in a few minutes. Don’t stay awake on my account though!” Ville was tempted to stroke the black hair, but stopped himself from doing so. He didn’t want to impose, especially knowing how hard it was for Jari to accept a touch like that.

~~~

Ville made quick working of cleaning up the kitchen. He showered, cleaned up the bathroom as well and slipped into a pair of jeans and a black and white striped sweater. He returned to the living room and was surprised to find Jari still awake. MTV was running in the background, but Jari wasn’t looking at the screen. He was staring at the wall instead. Sighing, Ville approached and sat down on the couch at some distance. “Hey, a penny for your thoughts.”

Jari startled and Ville’s remark pulled him away from his musings. “You don’t want to know.”

Ville inched closer and watched Jari’s body language very closely. The younger man made no attempt to move away from him, and feeling encouraged, Ville wrapped an arm around Jari. He held his breath, waiting for Jari to either pull away or accept the embrace.

Jari knew he had to make a decision – either he accepted the embrace and would do his best to trust Ville, or he pushed Ville away and kept to himself. But he had been alone for a long time and Ville hadn’t let him down yet.

Ville’s heart thumped loudly in his chest when Jari rested his head against his shoulder and moved into the embrace. He had won the battle for Jari’s trust. He had a chance – now he had to make sure he didn’t waste it.

TBC

Part 6

It was one PM when the doorbell suddenly rang. Jari lifted his head from Ville’s shoulder and looked at the blond with wide eyes.

“I have no idea who that is. I’m not expecting anyone.” Ville carefully unwrapped himself from Jari, tucked the blanket around the younger man, and headed for the doorway. “Don’t worry,” he called out as he looked at Jari from over his shoulder. “Only friends get in.”

Jari swallowed hard. He couldn’t help being nervous.

“Who is there?” Ville said into the intercom system.

“It’s me! And I come bearing gifts! Food!”

Ville grinned. “Nakki! Come upstairs!” He pushed the button which would open the front door and turned around to address Jari again. “It’s Nakki! I told you about him, remember?” Ville caught Jari’s concerned look and quickly made his way over to the younger man. “Hey, don’t be afraid. Nakki is a nice guy! You’ll like him!”

Jari wasn’t so sure though, but he didn’t say anything. His gaze shifted toward the door, which Ville had left ajar before the blond had returned to his side. The door opened and Jari swallowed hard, hoping he wasn’t going to embarrass Ville somehow.

~~~

Nakki stepped inside and smiled at Ville. When he had gotten that call yesterday he had already decided to check on the younger Liimatainen, but he hadn’t had the time to do so until now. He had used his time well though. “See, I bring gifts!” He raised a transparent bag which held five Tupperware boxes. “Healthy food! I made some meals which you only have to heat!” Nakki’s gaze shifted from Ville to the stranger tucked away on the couch. Nakki had thought Ville skinny, but looking at the black-haired youngster, he realized that this one was even skinnier. It was a good thing that he had made meals which were high in calories!

Ville approached and Nakki gave the blond a tight hug. “You look well!” It was true – Ville looked…happy!

Ville smiled at Nakki. “I feel good!”

Nakki witnessed Ville exchange a look with the young man on the couch. “Hello! I’m Nakki!” He raised his hand, extended it and offered it to the youngster. “What’s your name?”

Jari exchanged another look with Ville and only answered after the blond had nodded. “I’m Jari,” he whispered, growing nervous again. He pulled the blanket closer and tried to hide beneath the material. He simply wasn’t good at meeting new people.

Nakki noticed that too. “I don’t bite – usually,” he said and winked. “Here, why don’t you put that in the fridge?” He handed Ville the bag with the food and sat down on the couch opposite Jari. He made sure he continued to smile reassuringly at the youngster.

Ville wasn’t sure he should leave Jari alone with Nakki, but then turned around to put the food away.

Nakki kept his attention on Jari and tried to read the young man’s expression. He thought he saw fear in the dark eyes and wondered why it was there. He didn’t look *that* scary, did he? “I never saw you around before! Are you from Tampere?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

Jari coughed again and reached for his glass with water. He sipped, hoping Ville would return before he had to answer. Casting a look at the doorway to the kitchen, he prayed Ville would finally show up again. When the blond did appear, he sighed in relief.

A deep frown appeared on Nakki’s brow. Jari displayed some very odd behavior!

Ville had heard Nakki’s question and answered it. “I met Jari in Helsinki! So you can’t have seen him around Tampere before!” Ville sat down next to Jari and took the other man’s hand in his. Reassuringly, he squeezed Jari’s clammy fingers. He hadn’t thought that Nakki’s visit would throw Jari so off balance!

Nakki shivered. “Bah, Helsinki is way too cold in winter! It’s a good thing you came to Tampere! Hey, Ville, do you have something to drink? I’m thirsty.” Nakki caught the alarmed look Jari gave Ville and the younger man’s fingers squeezed Ville’s pleadingly.

“You know your way about! Help yourself,” Ville said, solving the problem.

“Sure! You want something too?” he asked the younger men. Jari shook his head and Ville merely smiled at him. “Suit yourself.” Nakki headed for the kitchen and made coffee. While the coffee maker was busy producing the black liquid, he thought everything over. Jari *was* obviously scared to be alone with him, but why?

“Nakki?” Ville entered the kitchen and walked toward his friend. “Can I talk to you?”

Nakki nodded. “I want to talk to you too – about your friend there.”

“I understand that. Can I have some coffee first?”

Nakki poured them both some and handed Ville a mug. “So what’s going on? Why is he scared of me?”

Ville sipped his coffee and considered Nakki. “He lived on the streets in Helsinki, Nakki. As a result he doesn’t trust easily.”

Nakki took in the information and looked at Ville from over the rim of his mug. “At that tender age? How old is he?”

“Seventeen or eighteen. He isn’t sure himself. I should ask him about his birth date,” Ville said thoughtfully.

Nakki drew in a deep breath. “I’ll be careful around him. Jari doesn’t have to be scared though.”

“I know that, and you know that, but he doesn’t. Certain things happened which… took away his trust in people.”

“That bad?” Nakki’s features contorted. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Jari’s behavior made sense now.

Ville nodded. “It’ll take time, Nakki. He has just started to trust me and I don’t look dangerous at all!” He forced himself to smile.

Nakki returned the smile. “I’ll be patient,” he assured Ville. “And I won’t pressure him in any way.”

“Thanks,” Ville said and hugged Nakki. “We should go back into the living room. I don’t want him to grow suspicious or worry about what’s going on.”

Nakki curled an arm around Ville’s waist and guided the blond toward the doorway. “Let’s go back, yes. I want to get to know him.”

~~~

Jari felt nervous when Nakki and Ville returned from the kitchen. Ville had left earlier to explain his presence to Nakki and Jari wondered what the blond had told their visitor. He felt embarrassed that he couldn’t hide his anxiety, but he really didn’t do well when meeting strangers. Ville might trust Nakki, but that didn’t mean that Jari did the same.

Nakki sat down and smiled once more at Jari. “I hope you like pasta! I made lasagna and spaghetti Bolognese for you. You can either put it in the micro wave or warm it in a pan!”

Jari nodded slowly. “I like pasta.” Ville sat down next to him and Jari immediately claimed the blond’s hand. It was his anchor, his lifeline!

“Make sure Ville eats a fair amount too! He’s too skinny!” Nakki said, relieved that Jari had replied.

“You only want to fatten me up! You succeeded with Jonne and I’m your next victim!” Ville laughed warmly though. He was also relieved that Jari was less nervous. He squeezed Jari’s hand and for some reason he thought back to what Juha’s doctor had said – the physician had referred to him as Jari’s boyfriend. He hadn’t given the matter much thought back then, but now he wondered what had made the doctor think that they were together.

~~~

Juha slung his arms around Jonne from behind and rested his chin on the blond’s shoulder. “So it’s Saturday evening and we’re in Helsinki. What do you want to do? Curl up on the couch?”

Jonne took his time to consider it. Curling up on the couch with Juha sounded awfully tempting, but on the other side, it *was* Saturday evening and they were in a major city. He turned around in the embrace, rested his arms on Juha’s shoulders and studied the redhead. It was strange – ever since he had met Juha he hadn’t felt depressed once. Instead of curling up, he wanted to dress up, go out and show off his new boyfriend. “Tavastia? Or do you have inside knowledge on where to go?”

Juha cocked his head. “We’ll see, alright? Let’s get dressed first.” He grinned wickedly. “Some of my shirts might fit you, if you want to dress in black.”

Jonne grinned back. “Where are you planning on taking me?”

“Let me surprise you,” Juha whispered against Jonne’s lips before claiming them in a passionate kiss.

~~~

“Where are we going?” Jonne wondered why they were going there on foot instead of being seated warmly in Juha’s car.

“You’ll like it there. It’s a very relaxed club and the best thing is that I get to kiss and fondle you in public.”

Jonne threw Juha a puzzled look. “Where the hell are we going?”

“It’s right over there,” Juha said and pointed out the ‘Lost and Found’ to Jonne.

The name rang a bell with Jonne and his eyes widened visibly. “Isn’t that a gay club?”

Juha chuckled. “It has a great mix of all sorts of people and they’re very tolerant.” Checking Jonne over, he added, “I’ll have to keep my eye on you though. Lots of guys will be interested in you. I’d better stake my claim right now.” He curled an arm around Jonne’s waist and growled, “Mine,” in his lover’s ear.

Jonne sighed contently. He wanted to be Juha’s, just like Juha belonged to him. They belonged together – that was it. He rested his head against Juha’s shoulder and wished the moment would never end. “Love you, mine,” he whispered.

Juha beamed with pride and happiness. “Yes, yours.”

~~~

“Let’s try Nakki’s cooking, yes?” Ville had waited for Jari to wake up from his nap. Jari had fallen asleep after Nakki had left. That had been a little over two hours ago and Ville hadn’t had the heart to wake him. But now he had to because it was time for Jari to take his medication.

Still half-asleep, Jari blinked at Ville. “What?”

“It’s dinner time. You need to eat something and so do I!” Ville carefully brushed the black hair away from Jari’s face. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of really being Jari’s boyfriend. Damn that doctor for putting that thought into his head!

“Eat again?” Jari carefully stretched his body. He felt cramped from being curled on the couch for…for how long? His eyes widened. Ville was right: it *was* dinnertime! “And you were stuck with me the entire time?” He had used Ville as a pillow and there was no way the blond had been able to leave the couch. “I’m sorry!”

“No, there’s no reason for you to be sorry! I like being on the couch with you!” Ville forced Jari’s head up by placing a finger beneath his chin. “I like having you here. I like having a new friend. I *like* doing things for you like holding you in your sleep, alright?”

Jari swallowed hard. “No one ever said that to me before.”

Sensing that this was a special moment, Ville rested his brow against Jari’s. “Will you tell me why I’m the first to say that?”

Jari’s anxiety level spiked. He couldn’t tell Ville! Never!

“Please, I want to help,” Ville gave Jari a pleading look. “You can trust me.”

Trusting Ville to such a degree scared Jari. “You won’t want to be near me once you know what happened.” He lowered his gaze and his eyes filled with tears.

“Tell me what you can. You don’t have to tell me everything. You can do it in stages.” Ville stroked Jari’s hair, hoping the younger man would trust him. “Start with something that it’s not so hard on you.”

Jari still wasn’t sure he should. He wanted to keep Ville as a friend. He didn’t want to lose him! Ville was the first real friend he had ever had. “Can you promise me that you’ll still want me around once…?”

Ville drew in a deep breath. “I promise.” He carefully gathered Jari in his arms: he made sure the embrace remained loose so Jari wouldn’t feel cornered. “What was your childhood like?” he asked, trying to encourage Jari to confide in him.

“Not very pleasant.” Jari pulled away from Ville and lowered his gaze. There was no way that he could tell this and be near Ville or look at him at the same time. He felt way too ashamed for that. “My parents didn’t want me. I was an ‘accident’ and they told me so every day. They never wanted a child. My mother was way too long into her pregnancy though to have an abortion, so she was forced to have me.” He shrugged, trying to appear like it didn’t faze him anymore, but of course, it did. It would always hurt.

Ville’s heart went out to the younger man. “I’m sorry about that.” With such a bad start, Jari’s childhood couldn’t have been pleasant.

“They never showed a real interest in me. I got food and clothes, but they never hugged me. They didn’t love me. They didn’t want me about. I knew so from early childhood.” Jari shivered and pulled the blanket close. When Ville moved to take him into his arms, Jari shook his head. “Please, I can’t…”

Ville didn’t pressure Jari and remained at a distance. He tried to catch the younger man’s gaze, but Jari refused to look at him.

“My mother started to spend her time away from home. She often visited her sister and left me in my father’s care. My father was a drunk though – an alcoholic, and when he lost control he would beat me. He often used his belt…” Jari swallowed hard. He didn’t want to remember any of this. “I ended up in the hospital a few times.”

Ville sharply sucked in his breath.”And no one noticed? Intervened?”

“No one cared.” Jari shrugged and stared at the opposite wall. “Until Social Services got involved. At the hospital they had noticed that I often returned there and they questioned the nature of my injuries, so…” Jari shrugged again.

“What happened?” Ville wished Jari would allow him close so he could offer the younger man some comfort, but Jari obviously didn’t want to be touched at that point.

“Social Services was determined to get me away from my father and I wanted that too, but… I never wanted to go a children’s home. I ended there up none the less.” And that was as much as he wanted Ville to know. He couldn’t tell the blond what had happened at the shelter. He just couldn’t. “Please don’t make me…”

Ville drew in a deep breath.”I won’t force you to do something that you don’t want to do.” His heart ached for Jari – it hurt that he couldn’t help the younger man. “Can I hold you? Please? I just want to show you that you’re not alone.”

Jari finally raised his head and sought out Ville’s gaze. “Are you sure you still want to hold me?”

Ville nodded determinedly. “Even if I hadn’t given you that promise earlier, I would still want to hold you. Please, it hurts to see you like that. I just want to hold you and offer you some support.” Ville looked pleadingly at Jari. “You’ve been alone long enough. Please let me in.”

Jari waged another war with himself. He wanted the comfort Ville was offering, but at the same time he felt so low that he didn’t think he deserved it. “I’m scared,” he whispered eventually.

Ville took a chance and inched closer. He wrapped his arms loosely around Jari and pulled the young man against him so Jari could rest his upper body against his. “It’s okay to be scared,” he said, hoping it was what Jari needed to hear. “But I want you to know that you’re not on your own anymore. I’ll support you. I’ll help. I’m your friend, alright?” He looked Jari in the eye and smiled soothingly. The look Jari shot him back gave him hope. The younger man was going to accept his offer.

“Ville, I’m scared that you’ll dump once you know…everything… I never had a friend before – a real friend, I mean. Someone who wants to help me.”

Ville didn’t reply with words – he pulled Jari close against him and rubbed the young man’s back. He hummed an old lullaby and slowly, Jari relaxed against him. Ville knew that it wasn’t over yet and had a pretty good idea of what was still to come, but he was also confident that they would master that situation together.

~~~

Juha got them inside quickly in spite of the queue standing in front of the club. It helped that he often frequented the place and that he knew the security people. He steered Jonne toward the bar and looked about, taking in the crowd. It was a typical Saturday evening and the place was packed. “What do you want to drink?” he asked his lover.

Hum, what was he in the mood for? Jonne cocked his head and thought it over. “A White Russian!”

Juha got Jonne his drink and stuck to beer himself. He pulled Jonne in front of him and wrapped an arm around the blond. Jonne’s back pressed against his chest and Juha rested his chin onto his lover’s shoulder. “Do you like it here?”

Jonne however was distracted. The way Juha’s hand rubbed against his abdomen made him feel weak in the knees. It was an intimate gesture which had never before been bestowed on him. Pressing back against the redhead, Jonne purred contently. “It’s okay.”

“That doesn’t sound very enthusiastic.”

“Jupe, I don’t care where you take me as long as you’re with me. I just want to be close to you!” Jonne rubbed his cheek against Juha’s shoulder. He noticed the way some of the men were staring at him, licking their lips and giving him winks. Jonne ignored them though – he only wanted Juha.

Juha smiled warmly. “You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that.” He turned Jonne in the embrace so he could kiss him. “I love you so much,” he whispered against the blond’s lips. Catching a jealous gaze from another man, Juha merely glared back at him and kissed Jonne. He wanted everyone to know that they were together!

~~~

“Try to eat something…please,” Ville pleaded. “It tastes good! Really!” He had heated the lasagna and had tried the food. Nakki was an excellent cook and the lasagna tasted great. “Just a few bites.”

Jari *was* hungry, but the thought of eating made him sick. “I’m not sure I can.” Ever since he had told Ville about his father, he had felt queasy. He hated the way these memories made him feel – low, ashamed and helpless.

“If you don’t eat, I won’t eat either!” Ville placed the fork onto the kitchen table and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Jari gave Ville a startled look. “No, you need to eat!” He remembered only too well that Nakki had told him to make sure Ville ate.

“You need to eat too!” Ville flashed Jari a challenging look.

Jari lowered his gaze. “I want to eat,” he admitted. “But I’m not sure if I can keep it down. I don’t feel well.”

Ville drew in a deep breath and then sighed. Reaching across the table, he claimed Jari’s left hand. “I understand that. I really do, but you need to eat. If you don’t, you’ll never build the necessary strength.”

“Strength for what?” Jari pushed the food about on his plate. “I don’t have a future. Not like you. You have brothers who love you, friends who take care of you and a nice, warm apartment. I don’t have any of that.”

“You have a good friend though – me! And if you give Jonne, Juha and Nakki a fair chance, they’ll become your friends too!” Ville sighed. “Please, Jari. Look at me.”

Jari shyly raised his head and peeked at Ville. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I know you do and I understand why you think that way, but please give us a chance.” Ville squeezed Jari’s hand. “Please. I haven’t let you down so far, have I?”

Jari sighed and nodded. Ville was right, but it was hard to believe that his life had really changed!

“Come on, a few bites. For me!” Ville gave Jari a hopeful look. His tactic seemed to work as Jari took hold of his fork and started to eat. “Thanks!” Ville mimicked Jari’s move and began eating too.

The next few minutes passed in a comfortable silence. Jari raised his head and peeked at Ville. He was stunned to find the blond smiling brilliantly at him. It was beyond him why Ville cared that much about him – he wasn’t really worth such attention!

~~~

“If I didn’t already have a boyfriend, I would have one upon leaving this place. Really, their stares are shameless!” Jonne hadn’t thought that he would get that much attention!

“You said that just to make me jealous!” Juha pressed his lips against Jonne’s throat and sucked hard.

“Hey, that will leave a passion mark!” Jonne wanted to swat Juha.

“That’s the idea. I don’t want them to think they stand a chance.” Juha didn’t really feel jealous or even insecure. He just enjoyed playing along.

Jonne chuckled and turned in the embrace once Juha had done his worst. He didn’t need a mirror to know that the abused skin was already changing color. “I want payback.” Jonne’s lips attached themselves to Juha’s neck and he sucked hard. At the same time, he playfully bit into the sensitive skin and to his pleasure, Juha growled. “You like that!”

Juha had the grace to blush. “As long as you don’t draw blood I don’t mind a little bit of nibbling!”

Jonne chuckled amused. “Alright, I get it. So what are we going to do now? Do you want to stay here, move to Tavastia or go home?”

Juha licked his bottom lip suggestively and whispered huskily, “What do *you* want?”

That look, that voice, and those words sent electric charges into his groin. “I think I’ll opt for going home and getting comfortable in bed.” Jonne rubbed his groin against Juha’s.

“I like that idea.” Juha moaned loudly upon feeling Jonne’s erection pressed against his. “Let’s go home – now.”

Jonne nodded. “I knew you’d see things my way.”

~~~

Ville made sure Jari took his medication, used his inhalers and then moved them back to the couch in the living room. Jari was sleepy once more and had a hard time keeping his eyes open. Ville suspected that the excitement which Jari’s admission had caused had exhausted the weakened man. “You can sleep, you know.”

“Not yet…” Jari didn’t want to close his eyes. He was afraid that certain memories would haunt him in his sleep so he’d rather stay awake.

“We can watch a movie if you want,” Ville suggested. He had the feeling though that Jari would fall asleep quickly even though the younger man tried fighting his fatigue.

“I’m fine with that.” Jari hadn’t watched a movie in years. It would hopefully help keep him awake.

Ville searched their DVD collection and decided on a comedy as he wanted Jari to laugh and not cry because the movie was so sad. After sliding in Ice Age, Ville sat down on the couch and opened his arms. “Come on, I’ll let you use me as a pillow! Why don’t you lie down so you can rest?” He patted his thigh suggestively.

Jari wasn’t sure he should accept the offer. “I’ll immobilize you. You’ll be stuck that way.”

“I like being stuck, remember?” Ville wiggled an eyebrow. “Come on, make yourself comfortable!” He patted his leg again.

Jari surrendered. It was obvious that Ville wouldn’t accept no for an answer. He lay down, rested his head on Ville’s thigh and reached for the fleece blanket. Ville beat him to it though and covered him with it. It was a novel experience for Jari to be cherished like that – even protected in a way. For as long as he could remember, he’d had to take care of himself. No one else had looked out for him, and now, there was Ville. The blond had literally swept him of his feet, carried him off and acted like a good friend – maybe even as a big brother.

“Why don’t you close your eyes? I can tell that you’re tired and you’re safe here with me. I’ll look over you.” Ville smiled at Jari and patted the black hair. “I mean it.”

Jari read sincerity in Ville’s eyes. Yes, the blond meant it. “It’s hard to trust and believe.” He turned onto his side and shyly pushed his hand beneath Ville’s leg so he could make himself more comfortable, truly using Ville as a pillow.

“I know that.” Ville continued to stroke Jari’s hair and when the younger man didn’t move away, he started to massage the scalp.

Jari closed his eyes in bliss. That massage was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. The way Ville’s fingers moved about felt great and he relaxed beneath the touch. He had never felt so safe before and a warm sensation spread from the pit of his stomach to the rest of his body.

Ville noticed the way Jari’s body relaxed and smiled. He wasn’t paying the movie any attention. He was focused on Jari and did his best to make the younger man feel good.

TBC

Part 7

“No!”

A scream ripped through the apartment and woke Ville from his sleep. With his eyes wide, he stared ahead in shock, uncertain what had woken him. Something close to him moved, pushed away, and suddenly his arms were empty. That was when Ville realized that it had been Jari’s scream which had woken him. His gaze shifted toward the black-haired man and his heart missed a beat at seeing Jari cowered at the other end of the couch. What had happened?

Jari had pulled his knees close to his chest and kept his arms tightly wrapped around his upper body. His eyes were impossibly wide and fat tears streamed down his face. He shook terribly and tried to make himself as small as possible. “No,” he whimpered in pain.

“Jari…” Ville inched closer, but didn’t touch the younger man yet. “It was a nightmare,” he said, deducing that a bad dream had upset Jari. “You’re safe. You don’t have to fear a thing. I promise.” He raised his arms and extended his hands with their palms turned up toward the black-haired man. “I’m here for you. You’re not alone. You’re safe with me.”

Big-eyed, Jari stared at Ville in shock. When that nightmare had jolted him awake, he had been convinced that he was back at his parents’ place. His father had stood towering over him with his leather belt wrapped around his hand, ready to beat him. To see Ville’s face instead of his father’s stunned him. “Ville?” he whispered shakily. “Is…that…you?”

“Yes, it’s me…” Ville inched closer still. “Can I take you into my arms?”

Jari swallowed hard. He craved having Ville close, but at the same time, he felt worthless. He felt ashamed of the things that had happened to him and was angry with himself for having been unable to stop them. He didn’t deserve Ville’s kindness. He wasn’t worth being the blond’s friend and more tears rose in his eyes. Mutely, he nodded and gave Ville a beseeching look.

Ville reacted at once and moved closer. He enfolded Jari in a tight hug and pulled the younger man against him. “It’s okay. It was a nightmare.” Jari telling him about his childhood had probably triggered it and for that Ville felt sorry. If he hadn’t made Jari tell him, the black-haired man wouldn’t have suffered from that nightmare. “You’re not alone. I’m here with you.” He rubbed Jari’s back and stroked the long hair. “I’m here.”

Jari’s fingers buried themselves in the fabric of Ville’s shirt. He cried and wept hot tears. Ville rocked him and hummed soothingly. Still, it took Jari time to do away with the remnants of his nightmare. A few minutes later, he calmed down and his tears slowly dried. “I’m sorry,” Jari whispered. It hadn’t been his intention to break down like that. That dream had felt so damn!

“There’s no need to apologize. You had a bad dream. It happens to all of us.” Ville continued to rock the younger man and stroked the long hair. “If you want to talk about the bad dream, I’ll listen,” Ville offered.

Jari’s first reaction was to shake his head, but then he recalled that Ville already knew about his parents and his father in particular. He had never confided in anyone before and he desperately needed to talk for his sanity’s sake. “I was back there…at home…with him and…he stood there and…he’d gotten out his belt…and I knew…I knew what was…going to happen,” he stuttered in-between renewed sobs.

“I’m so sorry that you had to live through that again. I shouldn’t have asked you earlier.” Ville hugged the younger man and was surprised when Jari moved closer instead of pulling away. “But it might be a good thing that you’re finally able to talk about it. Maybe it means that you’re starting to heal in whatever small way.”

Jari didn’t react – at least not verbally. He simply cherished being held and not being alone anymore. Ville’s closeness and the care the blond bestowed on him was a soothing balm onto his scarred soul.

~~~

“Oh!” Jonne grabbed hold of Juha and pressed close to him. “What the fuck?” Looking about, he realized it had started to freeze big time, making the pavement slippery as hell. Scared to move, Jonne clutched at Juha and tried to stay on his feet.

Juha realized what was going on the moment he tried to move. The rain, which had fallen while they had been inside Lost and Found had frozen when the temperature had dropped below zero. “This is going to be interesting,” he whispered cheekily. His apartment was only ten minutes away, but it might be a challenge to get there in one piece. “We have to be careful!”

Jonne nodded. “I’m not any good on the ice! You know that.”

“Well, I face the same problem you do. So when you go down, we’ll go down together.” Jonne clung to him and should the blond fall Jonne would take him down with him.

“Then let’s make sure we don’t fall!” He didn’t want to end up on his ass again. He had carried away enough bruises when they had gone skating on the frozen lake!

Juha carefully moved his feet, but the street was frozen solid and he lost his footing. “Shit!”

Jonne reacted at once and steadied Juha. He couldn’t help himself and chuckled. “Oh my, how are we going to get home?”

Juha grinned at his lover. Jonne’s arms were curled around him and the blond did his best to keep them on their feet. “I’ll call a taxi! That way, we don’t have to move!”

“Not much,” Jonne agreed and giggled. “Call a taxi then!”

Juha uncovered his phone and called a taxi. “It will take the taxi a few minutes to get here.” They had to get to the curb though; otherwise they wouldn’t be able to get into the car. “Let’s move slowly and carefully!”

Jonne nodded and took a step forward. Unfortunately, he slipped. He called out and Juha tried to catch him, but Jonne ended up on his bottom nonetheless. “No!” he called out in frustration. “I don’t want new bruises on my ass!”

Juha giggled. “How many White Russians did you have?”

“Only three of them! I’m not drunk!” Jonne pointed a finger at Juha. “Now help me up! My ass is getting cold!”

Juha giggled even louder. “Give me your hand then!”

Jonne placed his hand in Juha’s and fought to get to his feet again. He had almost made it, but slipped again and this time, he took Juha down with him.

Juha reacted too late and ended up next to Jonne, on his bottom, on the cold pavement. “Damn!” He tried to look angry, but when Jonne started to giggle, he couldn’t hold back either and joined in. “And now what?”

Jonne scooted closer, sliding over the icy pavement until he was in Juha’s arms again. “We wait for the taxi to get here and if necessary, we crawl over to it.”

Juha wrapped his arms around Jonne and sighed. “I love you.”

Jonne leaned in closer and kissed the redhead. “I love you too.”

~~~

Jari felt ashamed once his panic had faded. He was still in Ville’s arms and clutched the blond tightly. It had taken him half an hour to really come down from the effect the nightmare had had on him.

“Hey, look at me,” Ville whispered as he raised Jari’s head. “I need to see your eyes.” Jari’s eyes were red from crying and Ville bit onto his bottom lip, as his emotions threatened to get the better of himself. “Don’t feel bad about what happened, please don’t. I cried in Jonne’s arms too and when I did, I felt guilty for dumping my stuff on him. Jonne however wouldn’t have any of that and convinced me that I had no reason to feel ashamed. It took me a while to believe it, but in the end, I did. I don’t want you to feel ashamed or guilty either.”

Jari wanted to believe Ville, but it would take time. For the moment, he simply enjoyed being held.

~~~

Falling over each other and once more giggling, Jonne and Juha made it home thanks to the taxi – well, they had almost reached the front door when they slipped and both went down.

“My ass is black and blue!” Jonne complained. He tried to get to his feet again, gave up, and crawled over to the front door, closely followed by his lover.

“Mine too!” Juha crawled after Jonne, uncovered his key and unlocked the door.

Jonne got inside, rose from the floor and rubbed his abused bottom. “I really don’t like Helsinki much!”

Juha got to his feet and grinned at the blond. “In that case, I feel flattered that you’re staying with me!” He wrapped his arms around Jonne and kissed him.

Jonne smirked smugly and nodded. “You should.”

~~~

Jari nursed his hot tea and stared blankly at the wall. He was still on the couch and sipped his drink. His gaze shifted through the living room until it came to rest upon Ville. The blond had slipped into pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved shirt and now made his way back over to him. Ville sat down and Jari swallowed hard at seeing the loving expression in those blue eyes. No one had ever looked at him like that before and he quickly lowered his gaze as he didn’t know how to react to it.

Ville sighed and told himself to be patient. “Do you think you can go to sleep or do you want to watch a movie?”

Jari shrugged. He was fairly sure that he would fall asleep again the moment he lay down, but he didn’t want to have another nightmare. ”I can try to stay awake so we can watch that movie.”

Ville however shook his head. “Sounds like you’re tired. Why don’t we go to bed and get some sleep?” He was tired too.

Jari shook his head ever so slightly. “I’m scared that…I’ll have…another nightmare,” he said from between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to wake you again. You need your rest too. You should probably just give me one of those sleeping pills or maybe even two to be on the safe side.”

“I can give you one, but…I’d rather not. I don’t like sleeping pills much. You can easily get addicted to them. That happened to some of my friends.” Ville studied Jari. He wasn’t sure how the younger man would react to his upcoming offer, but he asked nonetheless, “Would it help if I stayed close? The bed’s big enough and we can cuddle up together.”

“What did you say?” Jari cocked his head questioningly.

“Cuddle up together,” Ville repeated and a smile appeared on his face. “We would be warm, and you wouldn’t be alone – and neither would I.” Ville didn’t want to sleep alone either.

Jari considered Ville’s offer and realized he wanted to take the blond up on it. “Yes, please… Stay with me.” It was a novel experience for Jari to voice his needs like that. It was also the first time that someone had asked him to do so.

Ville gave Jari a brilliant smile. “Let’s get you into bed then!” The two men made their way over to Ville’s room. Jari lay down and Ville went into the kitchen to get some bottled water. “Do you need your inhalers?” Ville asked as he sat down on the bed.

“It might be best if I used them,” Jari said and reached for them. After inhaling the substances, he reclined into his pillows. He still slept in a somewhat vertical position.

Ville adjusted to Jari’s position and opened his arms so the younger man could move into them if he wanted to. Jari scooted closer and rested his head on his chest. Ville drew in a deep breath, which showed his contentment. It felt great to have Jari close. “Try to sleep and if it doesn’t work, I’ll get you a sleeping pill, but only then!”

Jari nodded against Ville’s chest. He didn’t really need that sleeping pill after all, it seemed, for his eyes closed and he drifted asleep.

~~~

Jonne purred and pressed closer against Juha. Now that he had a boyfriend, he was finally also getting sex regularly. “Sorry to have exhausted you,” he whispered into Juha’s ear. They had been at it for two hours, much to Jonne’s delight. He had let Juha go to sleep in the end and now rubbed his cheek against the redhead’s shoulder. “Love you,” he whispered and feeling sated and happy, he followed the older man into sleep.

~~~

Ville woke sometime during the morning. To his relief, Jari had slept right through the night and hadn’t suffered anymore nightmares. Looking at the younger man, who was soundly asleep in his arms, he realized that something had changed – for him at least. He had fallen in love before, but when it had happened in the past, he had only realized it after the feeling had settled in his heart. This time, things were different. He could literally feel himself gravitate toward the other man and fall in love bit by bit.

He knew his timing was lousy. Jari was nowhere ready to fall in love, let alone start a relationship, and yet, his feelings didn’t seem to care about that. It *was* happening and there was little he could do against it.

~~~

“Hey, can you wake up for me? I made breakfast and you need to eat before you can take your antibiotics.” Ville disliked waking Jari, who had been so peacefully asleep, but they had a doctor’s appointment in an hour and he didn’t want to be late.

Jari reluctantly opened his eyes and blinked. “Ville?”

“Yes, it’s me. Come on, let’s get some food into you.” Ville was awfully tempted to kiss Jari’s brow, but he stopped himself just in time.

Jari nodded slowly. “Just give me a moment…please.” He needed a moment to clear his head of the dream he had been having – a very pleasant dream in which Ville had kissed him. He blushed fiercely at the memory and averted his gaze.

Ville wondered about it, but didn’t bring it up. “Do you need help or…?”

“I’ll manage… I need to visit the bathroom first at any rate.”Jari needed a moment alone. That damn dream refused to leave him alone!

“I’ll see you in the kitchen then,” Ville said and got to his feet again. After turning about he wondered about Jari’s odd reaction, but he decided to ignore it for now. So many things had happened since they had met and it was only normal that Jari needed time to adjust to his new life.

~~~

Jari appeared in the kitchen fifteen minutes later and gave Ville an apologetic look. He had washed his face and had used the time to drive away the dream. He didn’t want to be reminded of something which would never happen. No one, and certainly not an angel like Ville, would want someone like him – street trash.

“Hey, you still look tired. Do you want coffee? Or rather some tea?”Ville felt worried.

“Coffee please.” He desperately needed the caffeine to stop him from drifting off into more daydreams. That dream tried to get through to him again. /Forget it,/ he told himself. /I’m not good enough for someone like Ville. It will never happen!/ Jari sipped his coffee and forced down the sandwich which Ville had made for him. Meekly, he swallowed his medication and stared listlessly ahead. Damn that dream and damn his subconscious for showing it to him over and over again! Suddenly Ville’s fingers curled around his hand and he stared at it in alarm.

Ville frowned. “Care to tell me what’s wrong?”

At first, Jari shook his head. “It’s just a stupid dream I had.”

“Another nightmare?”

Jari shook his head again. “No, it wasn’t a bad dream.” And that was all he was going to say about it.

Ville however refused to let the matter go. It was important that he got to the bottom of it. “You can trust me, I hope you know that.”

“I can’t tell you,” Jari whispered and forced himself to eat the rest of his sandwich. It went against his principles to throw away food.

Ville tried to think of a way to make Jari talk. “Was it a bad dream? Any kind of bad dream?”Jari shook his head and Ville felt puzzled. “It was a good dream then?”Jari nodded and Ville felt clueless. What kind of good dream could have possibly upset Jari? “Was it an…erotic dream?” It was the only other thing he could think of.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jari replied. He grew flustered and pulled his hand away from beneath Ville’s. “I shouldn’t…talk about it… Certainly not…to you.”

Ville’s eyes grew big as saucers as he finally figured it out. Jari had had an erotic dream about him? He smiled happily and wished Jari would look at him. “It’s okay,” he said, unwilling to pressure Jari further. “You’re entitled to your privacy.” It was time to change their subject. “Jari, we have a doctor’s appointment in forty minutes. We should finish breakfast and get dressed.”

“Doctor?”Jari looked up in surprise. “Why’s that?”

“Because we need to keep a close eye on your bronchitis.”

“It’s almost gone!”

“But not completely and a doctor should check on it. I made an appointment with my doctor. He’s a nice guy.” Ville hoped Jari would allow for it to happen. He really didn’t want to fight over a doctor’s visit.

“If you think it’s necessary.” Jari shrugged, lacking the will to fight Ville over it. He also knew that the blond was right – he needed to be under medical supervision. “I don’t have any clothes though.”

“We’ll raid my closet. We’ll find something to keep you warm.”

Jari felt uncomfortable. “They are your clothes though. I don’t possess a thing.” Anger, self-hatred, self-pity and fear rose from deep within him. “I’m worthless!”

“No!” Ville shook his head firmly. “You’re not! You just had some very bad luck in your life!” He moved his chair closer to Jari’s. “Look at me!”

Unable to resist that order, Jari raised his head and looked at Ville. The determination which he saw on the blond’s face surprised him. What did it mean?

“You’re a great person! I mean it! I like you! You’re special!” Ville blushed, realizing his enthusiasm had gotten the better of him.

Jari swallowed hard and couldn’t believe it when he heard himself say, “But that’s exactly my problem, Ville. I like you too.” He quickly lowered his gaze, as he didn’t want to see Ville’s reaction to his admission. The blond would surely be appalled. “I’m sorry.”

Ville needed a moment to grasp the full meaning of Jari’s words, but then he smiled and reached for the younger man’s hand. Jari looked up in surprise at the touch and Ville nodded firmly. “It’s no problem. Believe me, it’s a good thing.”

Jari stared at Ville in shock. The blond thought it was a good thing? “But…”

“Jari, I like you -- a lot.” Ville smiled at the younger man in the hope Jari would get the full meaning of his words. “And I want you to like me in turn.”

Jari thought that he had misheard. “But how can you? You know…what… who… What happened to me and…what I am today… What it turned me into!”

Ville felt it was too early to get into that, but he also knew that he had to say something in order to reassure Jari. Stroking the trembling hand clasped within his, he said, “Jari, I have only known you for one week now, but I can say that you mean a lot to me. You changed my life the same way I probably changed yours. You’re a valuable, unique person and I’ll do my best to help you heal. I just hope you’ll let me.”

Jari swallowed hard and felt shy upon looking Ville in the eye. He could tell the blond was sincere. “So you’re okay with me…liking you?”

Ville nodded repeatedly. “I’m really happy that you like me in that way. Trust me, the feeling is mutual.”

Jari needed another moment to fully understand what Ville had just told him and when he did, he lowered his gaze and nibbled on his bottom lip. “It’s hard to believe that you’re okay with it.”

“It’s the truth.” Ville squeezed the younger man’s hand again. “And now we need to get ready so we can see that doctor.” He felt relieved when Jari nodded. He had hoped he had gotten through to the younger man, but until Jari had nodded, he hadn’t been sure.

~~~~

“Are you okay with me wearing your clothes? Really?”Jari gave himself a quizzical look in the mirror.

“You look good and I don’t mind – really!”

Jari felt odd while looking at his reflection. Ville had put him into a pair of white pants with strange lacing at the groin area. Next had been a black, long-sleeved shirt and over that, he wore a white T-shirt. He had needed Ville’s help to get the laces fixed on the boots, and last but not least, Ville had put him in a long, black coat that should keep him warm.

“You’re not ready yet though!” Ville turned to that section of the closet that stored his accessories. He decided on his favorite black and white striped shawl and wrapped it around Jari’s neck. Smiling at the flustered-looking young man, Ville approvingly nodded his head. “Here, this should keep you warm.” He put a black beanie onto the black hair and handed Jari a pair of black and purple striped gloves. “The cold shouldn’t get to you!”

Feeling embarrassed, because he had to wear Ville’s clothes, Jari had grown flustered. “Thanks for the clothes. Maybe I can get mine back from Juha.”

Ville gave the young man an apologetic look. “I’m not sure they made it. Juha put them in the washer, but…they were rather tattered, and… I’m not sure they’re still in one piece.” He hadn’t meant to make Jari feel bad, but the younger man apparently did. “Hey, we’ll go shopping when you feel better.”

Jari shrugged, feeling discouraged. “Why? I don’t have any money to begin with.”

“Argh, come here you!” Ville pulled Jari into his arms and hugged him. “We’ll find a solution.”

Jari rested his upper body against Ville’s. He was afraid to hope that the older man was for real, but Ville *had* kept his word so far. Maybe the blond *would* find a way.

~~~

“The bronchitis is still there, but we’ve got it under control,” the doctor said. “Keep using your inhalers and finish the antibiotics. You should be fine after that.”

“Thank you.” Jari wanted out. He had been inside doctor’s offices too many times for his taste. “Can I go now?”

The doctor looked his newest patient over and said, “I noticed some fading bruises and scars. If you want counseling, I can arrange for it.”

Jari instantly looked away and shook his head. “I don’t need that.” He got to his feet and walked over to the doorway. “I’ll be in the waiting room,” he said before fleeing the office.

“He needs time,” Ville said, addressing the doctor. “He doesn’t trust easily, but he has started to talk to me.”

The doctor nodded. “Try to convince him to see a therapist in time, Ville. From what I gathered, he really needs help.”

“I know that,” Ville said. “I’m working on it.” Ville was about to follow Jari when the doctor stopped him by addressing him.

“How are *you* doing, Ville?”

Ville took a moment to consider the question. “I’m fine. It might sound strange, but I really am. Jari needs me and I like being needed. He makes good company and he has taught me some valuable lessons. Ever since I met him I haven’t thought about alcohol once. He made me realize how fortunate I am. It could have been me and Jonne living on the streets, but we escaped that fate.”

The doctor nodded. “Don’t stop seeing your therapist all together though, Ville.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Ville replied. “But at the moment it’s easier to talk to Jari than to my therapist.” He smiled at his doctor, shook his hand and left the office to join Jari in the waiting room.

~~~

Jari was pacing the waiting area by the time Ville got there. He was relieved to see the blond because it meant they could finally leave.

Ville curled an arm around Jari’s waist and guided him to the doorway. “Do you want to go home straight away? Or do you feel up to a little walk? Some fresh air might do you good!”

They stepped onto the pavement and Jari realized that it felt good to be outside again – to breathe in the fresh air and to feel free. His lungs didn’t act up, nor did he have a coughing fit, so… “I’d like to go for a walk. I’m not sure how long I’ll manage to stay on my feet though.”

“Great! I’ll show you some of Tampere then!”

Looking about, Jari realized that he wasn’t in Helsinki anymore. Ville had mentioned driving to Tampere that night, but he hadn’t really registered that in full. He was in a different city and needed to know his way about. He didn’t really think Ville would kick him out of the apartment, but you never knew!

Tampere was much smaller, and in a way, a much more intimate city. Jari liked it right away and couldn’t stop himself from smiling during their walk. The fact that Ville was holding his hand had also something to do with that. His head still reeled from the fact that Ville didn’t mind him liking the blond in that way. He had never thought he might have a chance with Ville!

“That’s Koti-Baari over there! We can go for a drink, if you want.” They had been wandering about for twenty minutes and the cold was starting to get to him. And if the cold affected him, it also had to affect Jari.

Jari looked at the building and nodded his head. He’d go along with everything Ville suggested: after all, the blond was paying the bills! He followed Ville inside and climbed the stairs, slower though than the blond.

Ville lowered his pace and kept a tight hold on Jari’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Jari panted slightly. “Not doing too well with stairs yet.”

Ville squeezed Jari’s hand. “I’ll buy us hot chocolate to make up for making you climb them. Is that alright?”

Of course it was alright – after all, Ville had the money – he didn’t.

~~~

Jari looked about in a daze. The bar was nothing like he had expected it to be. It resembled a living room and there were large, comfortable chairs which he sunk into when he sat down. The walls had wall paper that showed the interior of a living room, complete with printed on books, and even a radio. It was nice and warm inside the bar.

“Sit down and I’ll get the hot chocolate!” Ville was relieved that it was rather empty. It enabled them to have some privacy.

Jari pushed deeper into the comfort of the chair and watched Ville move over to the counter. A few minutes later, the blond returned and sat down on the comfortable chair next to him.

“Try it. The hot chocolate here is really good!” Ville made himself comfortable and slurped the cream from top of his drink. He could tell Jari liked it here – the younger man’s eyes hid nothing and showed it all. “It’s a nice place, don’t you think?”

Jari nodded. “I like it,” he whispered shyly. “And you’re right. The hot chocolate tastes great.”

Ville reached across the table that stood in-between them and uncurled his fingers. Jari got the hint and placed his hand in it. Ville clasped it tightly and smiled at Jari. “We’ll visit again the next time we go into town.”

Jari smiled shyly at Jari and for the very first time he fully realized that his hand rested comfortably inside Ville’s.

TBC

Part 8

“Let’s go home,” Ville said after finishing his hot chocolate. It was time he got Jari home where the younger man could rest. He could tell by the expression in the dark eyes that the trip had tired him.

“Home,” Jari said thoughtfully as he got to his feet as well. “I’m not sure I should think of your place as home.” He stared at the floor and nervously moved his feet about. “I don’t want to get used to thinking like that because someday I’ll have to leave. I can’t abuse your hospitality forever.”

Ville sighed and a sad expression colored his eyes darker than they normally were. “Jari…” He pulled the miserable-looking man into his arms and hugged him. “I promise that I won’t kick you out. You can stay as long as you want, and if you ever feel the need to get your own place, I’ll help you find one. In the meantime, you’re welcome to stay with me.”

“But what will happen once Jonne returns? He’ll want his privacy and I’m… I *am* a stranger.” Jari gave Ville a sad look. “I can’t blame him. I wouldn’t want some stranger around either.”

“You’re not a stranger – not anymore. You’re a friend – my friend, alright?” Ville stroked Jari’s hair and let his fingers glide through the black locks. “Don’t create problems when there are none.”

Jari wanted to believe that – he really did – but… “I’m afraid of being disappointed again. I know that you won’t hurt me on purpose, but you never know what will happen in the future.”

“Then let’s not worry about it. So many things can happen! It doesn’t have to be something bad!” Ville hugged Jari again and twined their fingers. “Let’s go home. I’m hungry and I want to give Jonne a call.” He rather did that in the privacy of his home. You never knew who was listening in.

~~~

“Hey, aren’t you…? Yes, you are! You’re Ville!”

Ville sighed and rolled his eyes. He should have known that something like this would happen once he ventured onto the streets. Apparently some fan had recognized him. “Sorry,” he said, addressing Jari. “This will only take a moment – hopefully.” Jari obviously had no idea what was going on, judging by the odd look the younger man was giving him.

“Can you sign this for me, please? And is it okay if my friend takes a picture with the two of us?” the girl asked.

Jari frowned: he really had no idea why some stranger wanted Ville to sign something or have her picture taken with him. He watched how Ville turned around, smiled at the two girls and signed something. The girls had their pictures taken with the blond and fired questions at Ville. Jari’s surprise continued to grow when he saw the adoration in their eyes.

“Thank you! You’re really nice! I hope your new single will be a hit! We’ll catch you live at Klubi shortly!” one of the girls said before turning away and waving goodbye at them.

Ville gave Jari an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that, but it happens sometimes. It’s even worse when Jonne is around.”

“What was that all about?” Jari asked: his curiosity winning it from his shy nature.

Ville took Jari’s hand in his again and gently pulled the younger man along. He really wanted to get home and preferably without running into more fans. “I sing in a band called Flinch and those two girls like our music.”

Jari’s eyes mirrored his surprise when he looked at the blond. “What kind of music do you make?”

“Some kind of rock. I can put in a CD when we’re at home if you want to hear it.”

Jari nodded. “I’d like that.” He *had* wondered how Ville made his living. The blond didn’t seem to study or work on a regular base. Ville being part of a band explained that. “What did you mean when you said that it’s even worse when Jonne’s around?”

“Jonne’s in a band too. His band is called Negative.” Ville wasn’t surprised that Jari didn’t know about them. Living on the streets gave priority to things like food and shelter and certainly not listening to music. “His band has way more success than mine.” It still hurt though that he would never be as good as Jonne.

Jari frowned, as he sensed some of Ville’s feelings. He squeezed Ville’s fingers and moved closer to the blond. He didn’t know what was going on, but he sensed that Ville needed his support.

Jari reaching out to him like meant a lot to Ville, who rewarded the black-haired man with a smile. “Thanks,” he whispered.

Jari smiled. He didn’t know why Ville had just thanked him, but he was grateful that the blond had accepted being comforted.

~~~

Today was Sunday, which meant that tomorrow, on Monday, Jonne had to return to Tampere. He didn’t want to leave his favorite redhead behind though. However, he had little choice, as Juha had to go back to work tomorrow. There had to be a way though for them to be together! He just had to come up with something!

“Open your eyes, sleeping beauty,” Jonne said and kissed his sleeping lover on the lips. “I made breakfast.” He had put everything onto a tray and had carried it into the bedroom. After snuggling back into bed, he had addressed and kissed Juha and now waited for the older man to open his eyes.

“Hum, wanna sleep…” Juha muttered, half hidden beneath his comforter.

Jonne chuckled and caressed Juha’s face. “Come on, baby, I even made croissants!” It was a good thing that he had found them stuffed away in a cupboard. All he had needed to do was put them in the oven.

Juha opened one eye and managed to focus on Jonne. Upon seeing the blond and smelling the delicious fragrances coming from the tray he opened his other eye as well. “You spoil me.” He pushed himself up and reclined against his pillow which he popped up against the headboard. “I’m hungry!”

“You should be! You burned a lot of energy last night.” Jonne gave Juha a cheeky look.

“I love Sundays,” Juha said. “Especially lazy Sundays!” He grinned when Jonne fed him a small piece of croissant and munched contently. “I hope we can spend the next weekend together too.”

Jonne nodded and sipped his coffee. “I have been thinking about that.” He might have come up with a solution. “Before I left Tampere, I talked to Tommi and he had a request. He wanted to know if you’d be interested in joining Hype Records. He *is* a good manager, not just where Negative is concerned. He takes good care of all the bands on his record label.”

Juha frowned as he hadn’t expected that question. “You’ll have to talk to Mikko about that. He takes care of our affairs. I don’t really know a lot about signing record deals or switching labels.” He gave it some more thought. “I wouldn’t know why Mikko would be against it. At the moment, we only have a German label, so…we still need a Finnish record label to promote us.”

“Can you talk to Mikko about it? I’ll give him a call after you did.”

Juha nodded. “Sure, I can do that. No problem. But why are you bringing it up now?” Juha dipped his croissant in the marmalade and sipped his coffee.

Jonne’s eyes glittered with contentment. “Well, our record will hit the stores shortly and you already have yours out there. Negative will go on tour and you should be playing more gigs. How about Reflexion being Negative’s support act?” Jonne really felt smug for coming up with it. “It works to our advantage in so many ways! Negative has a good support act, you get to play new crowds and the two of us can be together.”

Juha agreed with Jonne after thinking everything over. Everyone would gain from such a deal. “I’ll give Mikko a call later today.”

“Good,” Jonne said and purred. He rubbed his cheek against Juha’s shoulder and sighed contently. “Now how about more sex?”

~~~

Once they had removed their coats and boots, Ville and Jari went into the living room. While Jari settled down on the couch, Ville searched their music collection until he came up with ‘Kuvastin’ and Flinch’s newest single. He put the album into the player and turned around to smile at the younger man. “I’ll get some food ready while you listen to our album.”

Jari nodded and pulled the fleece blanket closer. He immediately recognized Ville’s voice and pushed deeper into the comfort of the couch. He liked Ville’s voice and the music as well. When he had lived on the streets, he had lost all interest in music, but before that, he had really loved to listen to all sorts of music. He had even tried learning to play the guitar, but his father had stopped him from doing that.

“Nakki made some sort of casserole and I put it in the oven. Is that okay for you?” Seeing the tormented expression in Jari’s eyes, Ville approached and sat down on the couch. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked and claimed Jari’s hand within his.

“I was twelve… An aunt had given me an acoustic guitar for my birthday,” Jari said in a distant voice. “I had told her that I wanted to learn to play it and she offered to teach me.” Jari rested his head against the couch and closed his eyes. “My father however didn’t like the noise I made whenever I practiced and…” Jari swallowed hard. “One evening, he stormed inside, grabbed hold of my guitar and smashed it against the wall. It ended up in several pieces and… That was the end of it.” Jari shrugged and reluctantly opened his eyes again. He didn’t want to give Ville more information than that.

“But there’s more to it, isn’t it?” Ville wasn’t sure what had made him say it. Maybe it was the distant expression in Jari’s eyes or the delicate trembling that swept though the younger man’s body. “What else happened?”

Jari averted his gaze. “He beat me up…” He shrugged and tried to appear like it didn’t faze him. “But that happened all the time.”

“Oh,” escaped Ville. “That’s so fucking wrong!” He pulled Jari into his arms and hugged him tight. “It’ll never happen again.”

Jari didn’t want cry – again -- but it just happened. He wept silently and pressed against Ville. Ville rocked him, and Jari moved along until he had calmed down again. “I’m sorry for being such a wimp all the time.”

“You’re not!” Ville rubbed Jari’s back. “I’m relieved that you’re crying. I *do* believe that it’s a good thing that it’s getting out.” He placed a finger beneath Jari’s chin and raised the young man’s head. “It’ll take time, alright? We’ll get there together.”

Jari nodded and the tears still clinging to his cheeks slowly dried. “Thank you for…everything.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I want to do this for you.” He buried Jari in another hug and sighed, relieved that Jari continued to confide in him.

~~~

“I want to show you something.” With Jari’s hand safely tucked within his, Ville opened the door. “You haven’t been in here before, but I think the time is right to show you Jonne’s music room, or as I call it, my brother’s trophy room!”

Curiosity mixed with apprehension showed on Jari’s face when he peeked around the corner. His breath caught in surprise as he took in the number of music instruments displayed in the room. As Ville had said, trophies in the form of golden CD’s hung at the wall and a music award stood on the window still. Apparently, Jonne’s band was really successful!

“Do you still want to play the guitar?” Ville asked as he took hold of the black guitar which stood near the window.

Jari felt overwhelmed and needed a moment to compose himself. “Sure.”

“Okay, take this one into the living room with you and I’ll grab that one.” It was a good thing that Jonne had a nice collection of guitars – acoustic and electric ones. The old black and white electric guitar which Jonne had played during the early stages of Negative still stood in a corner. In the past, money had sometimes been tight for the two brothers, but Jonne had never considered selling it.

Jari took hold of the acoustic guitar and reverently carried it into the living room with him. He coughed a few times, but quickly got it under control again. “Now what?” he asked as Ville sat opposite him.

“Now you’re getting your first guitar lesson,” Ville said and smiled.

~~~

“I love being together with you,” Jonne said and nestled closer to Juha. The redhead had convinced him to go for a short walk instead of staying inside the tiny apartment all day long and Jonne had relented. At this time tomorrow, he would be back in Tampere. “I don’t want to be without you for an entire week!” He had a tight schedule though as Tommi wanted Lauri and him to promote the new album. He would be away most of the week.

“If you want to, I can visit you the next weekend. Then you don’t have to do without your precious bathtub.”

Jonne chuckled. “Yes, I’d like that! And I’ll make sure that I’ve got an extra copy of the key for you, though I suspect Ville will be there too. We won’t have much privacy though.”

“You have your own room, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”Jonne playfully poked Juha’s side. Sighing, he moved closer and rested his head against the older man’s shoulder. “We’ll have to start thinking about a solution though. I don’t want to spend Friday and Sunday evenings on the train or in a car.”

“What are you suggesting?” Juha had caught sight of a bar and guided Jonne inside so they could have a drink. After checking with Jonne, he ordered coffee for them both. “How do you want to solve this? I’m tied to Helsinki because of my job.”

Jonne nodded. “Basically, we have two options.” The coffee arrived and Jonne sipped. “One possibility is me moving to Helsinki and us getting a bigger apartment.”

Juha nodded: he had expected as much. “And what’s the other?”

“You resign your work and move to Tampere where we concentrate on Reflexion’s career.”

Okay, Juha hadn’t expected *that* one. “Quit my job? And how do you suppose I pay my bills?” Dedicating himself to his music had always been his dream, but he was realistic and knew he needed his job in order to pay his rent.

“We look for a bigger apartment in Tampere and move in together. That way you could concentrate on your music and I’m sure Tommi will get you enough gigs so you can make a living of it. And you have me,” he added cheekily. He could tell that he had taken Juha by surprise with that suggestion. “I know that you need time to consider your options, but this *is* your chance to make Reflexion big. You can’t work and concentrate on your music at the same time.”

“Sure, that’s right, but… It’s a big step, quitting my job and moving in with you.” He had to consider all the risks involved. What if their relationship didn’t last? Or Tommi failed to secure any gigs? Their new album might end up being a flop and…

“You don’t have to decide now,” Jonne said, eager to bring Juha out of his musings. “We’ll talk about it later. By the way, did you manage to reach Mikko yet?”

“I did and he promised that he would give your brother a call tomorrow. They’ll talk everything over and we’ll see what happens.”

“You trust Mikko unconditionally, don’t you?” Jonne asked in-between sips of coffee.

“If it hadn’t been for Mikko kicking our asses we would never have released our debut album or gotten a record deal in the first place. It’s not that we’re so fucking lazy, but… We never really believed we could make it in the business. Reflexion started out as a hobby, but Mikko made it into a serious band.”

“I was always driven to make Negative the best,” Jon