SPOILER
WARNING. SPOILERS UP TO SLEEPING IN LIGHT.
DISCLAIMER.
THESE CHARACTERS ARE ALL PROPERTY OF JMS. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS
INTENDED. TENNYSON WROTE THE POEM. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED AS WELL.
" I’m
sorry, but there is nothing we can do."
Susan listened
to her doctor with a calm expression on her face while Marcus' soft hands
warmed hers. She had always known that the cancer would be fatal one day. The
doctors had diagnosed her with spinal cancer 4 months ago. After 40 years,
which had been filled with love she was now dying. Lorien had spoken the truth
and had kept his promise.
" Come,
darling. Lets go home."
Marcus helped
her up from the chair and Susan looked at him. His hair was grey, almost white
now and there were lines of worry on his face. But his eyes still held the same
intensity as 40 years ago. Susan was quiet as they traveled back to their
house. They had been living on Minbar these last 35 years. Marcus had led the
rangers during 34 years before handing his role over to their only son, William
who had proven to be one of the best rangers there had ever been. They had been
very proud when he accepted his calling as Ranger One.
There had been
tears in Marcus' eyes when William had been officially installed as Entil’Zha.
Susan had never regretted her decision to leave Earthforce and move in with
Marcus. The birth of their son had been one of the most important moments in
her life. She vividly remembered the first time she had looked in her son’s eyes,
which still resembled Marcus. They shared the same intense green color. She secretly
loved the fact that William had his eyes. Watching William become a man had
brought them even closer together.
Telling him
that his mother was terminally ill had been the worst moment in their lives.
Susan settled
down on the couch and Marcus fixed her some coffee. His right arm had never
entirely healed and sometimes the wound actually caused him pain. "
Susan?"
" Yes,
love?"
" I know
that you have kept your thoughts to yourself lately, but please tell
me...?"
Susan knew
what he was asking. She had given it lots of thought and there wasn’t much time
left. " You promised me a vacation years ago... I want to go and see
Babylon 5 one last time."
"Are you
sure? The place is almost deserted. It has been turned into a tourist
attraction."
" Yes,
I’m sure... just the two of us. We will leave William a message. I said my
good-byes to him... He will always be in my heart. I am so thankful we were
able to watch him grow up."
" Me too.
I’m so proud of him!" Marcus handed her the coffee. She wasn't in any pain
right now. The doctor had given her some heavy painkillers. But he knew that
she was dying. He could tell by looking at her no longer sparkling eyes. He
caressed her long, grey hair and she cuddled up to him. After 40 years their
love was still as intense as it had been in the beginning. He had never
betrayed her trust or hurt her.
Susan saw the
tears in his eyes, which were trying to surface. They had shared everything,
love, passion, pain, hurt, sadness, bliss.
" If that
is what you want... I will make all necessary arrangements." Marcus kissed
her and pushed back his fear. How much longer would he be able to hold her like
this?
Marcus had set
the autopilot. He looked at Susan who was asleep in the seat next to him. He
had chosen a small civilian shuttle to get them to Babylon 5. He understood why
she wanted to go Babylon 5. It had been the beginning of their life together
and it was only appropriate that her life would end there.
Marcus
treasured these forty years they had shared together. She had told him
everything; her being Entil’Zha, the pain she had felt after he had died in her
universe. He had been in awe when at last, he realized how deep her love for him
was and he hadn’t been able to hold back his tears, which had needed to find
release.
Susan’s mind
registered his mental pain. As the years had passed by, Susan had found that
she was linked to his mind in a strange way. She couldn't read his thoughts, but
his emotions... she felt them like her own and now, she felt his agony. He was
crying because she would leave him behind when she died. He was scared of the
loneliness. " Marcus?"
Susan unstrapped and moved to sit on
his lap. He immediately embraced her.
Fierce emotions rolled off him.
" Everything will be all right.
Lorien will be waiting for me... and I will wait for you. I’m no longer afraid
to answer that question. I have loved you with all my heart..."
"
Susan..."
Susan reached
out to touch his mind as she had done so many times before. She always managed
to calm him down by just being there. He had never detested her telepathic
abilities and she loved him even more for it. //Just relax, Marcus. No matter
what happens these next couple of days, we will be together again in the end.//
She sent him all the love and affection she felt for him and he stared at her
hands, taking them in his and kissed them reverently.
"
Incoming message from Babylon 5."
Marcus stirred
from his trance and both of them watched the space station grow larger.
"
Home." Susan sighed, holding Marcus even closer to her.
Susan wondered
why the space station was this quiet. After it had been turned into a tourist
attraction all different kind of races had come here to see where it had all
started. " Marcus? Where are all the people?" Secretly, Susan was
thankful that the station appeared empty.
" I told
you I would make all arrangements. They closed it down for today. It is all
ours."
Susan pulled
him closer and folded her arms around him. She would always love him. " I
want to go to C&C. "
Marcus watched
her, concern apparent in his eyes. She was pushing herself to the limits, but
he followed her and felt strangely at home. The best part of his life had
started here. Susan walked through C&C, remembering how hard she had worked
to keep the staff terrified of her. But her reputation had been dented all the
times when she had kissed Marcus in here, ignoring the eyes of her staff.
Corwin had actually been embarrassed when she had pinned Marcus to the wall
once with her body. To be honest, Marcus had been blushing furiously. She had
enjoyed that scene.
" Susan,
you should rest."
She tangled
her arms around him and led him to her old office. She was running out of time.
Her body was growing weaker. " Marcus, I can rest all I want to in an
hour. You can feel it too, can't you?"
Marcus avoided
looking her in the eyes, but it was true. He sensed her growing weaker all the
time. She would die soon, too soon.
" Let me
do this my own way." Susan pleaded with him and like always, he gave in.
The place brought back so many memories, memories of the both lives she had
lived. She had righted everything in this life, she loved Marcus, had given
birth to their son. Marcus was suffering and she hated that, but her death was
inevitable. //Marcus, lets go to my old quarters. I’m getting tired.//
Marcus was
momentarily surprised when he heard her mind voice. He liked having her inside his head. They walked to her quarters.
When she had resigned as Captain she had left behind all her stuff. She wanted
to start a different life on Minbar with Marcus. At the same time Babylon 5
seemed to have outlived its purpose and when it became a museum they had left
everything the way it was. Even her old code still worked and when the door
opened she sighed. The poetry book Marcus had been reading to her was in the
same spot, next to the couch, opened on the same page. //This feels... like
coming home.// She sensed his agreement.
" I
always thought that the years we spent here were special, even though we were
fighting those bloody wars!"
Susan sat down
on the couch. Her body refused to carry her weight any longer. Marcus joined
her and she lay down, her head in his lap. He stroked her hair and she was
enjoying his touch one more time. This would be the last time. //Marcus, when I
am dead... promise me you will go on living. William needs you, especially when
he finds out that I am gone... tell Michael, Lise, Stephen, Lillian and Lennier
what happened.//
" Don't
worry, love. I learned my lesson. I will be there for William... and when my
time comes, I will join you on the other side."
//I know you
will.// Susan lacked the strength to talk to him, so she simply sent him the
message. It was so much easier and she knew that he didn't mind her doing that.
//Read something to me? You were reciting a poem last time we were in here.//
Marcus kissed
her forehead. The love of his life was dying and he felt anguished, but also
knew that she was at peace. He would have to let her go and wait for his time
to join her. He reached over to collect the poetry book. He read the poem,
quickly and tense. Was this the page they had left off reading?
//What is
wrong, love?//
Marcus
cringed, her mind’s voice was also getting weaker. " Nothing, just sleep,
my love."
She opened her
eyes and Marcus saw they were starting to crack apart. He had to be strong for
her sake. " I love you, Susan."
She managed to
lift her hand and pulled his face close enough to hers to kiss his lips. Marcus
couldn't fight his tears any longer.
//We will meet
again in a place where no shadows fall.//
Marcus held
her close and nodded.
//The poem... //
Marcus felt
her slip away from him and he had to honor her last request. Softly, he began
to recite the poem;
Tears, idle
tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the
depth of some divine despair
rise in the
heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on
the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking
of the days that are no more.
Fresh as the
first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings
our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the
last which reddens over one
That sinks
with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so
fresh, the days that are no more.
Ah, sad and
strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest
pipe of half-awaken'd birds
To dying ears,
when unto dying eyes
The casement
slowly grows a summering square;
So sad, so
strange, the days that are no more.
He stopped
reading when her head slipped to one side, drawing her lungs drew in her last
breath in this world. She had died in his arms as she had always wanted to.
Marcus hugged her lifeless body, missing the comfort of her voice inside his
head. He would honor her and go on living, giving William all his experience,
knowledge and love. Lovingly, he stared at her peaceful face, which was graced
by the happiest smile he had ever seen on her face. Certain that he would be
reunited with her when he would die he took the book once more in his hands to
finish the poem, although she could no longer hear him.
Dear as
remember'd kisses after death,
And sweet as
those by hopeless fancy feign'd
On lips that
are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first
love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in
Life, the days that are no more!
Marcus placed
the book on the table where it had waited for them for 35 years. Gently, he
gathered her dead body in his arms and carried her to the shuttle to take her
back to Minbar. It had been her last wish to be buried next to John and Delenn.
Marcus knew that it wouldn't take long before he would be at her side once
more, this time for all eternity...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
" Father,
where are you? I have great news... you are a...granddad!" William froze
when he discovered him. Marcus was sitting in the garden against a rock.
William knew at once that his father was dead and knelt beside him to close
Marcus' eyes.
//Marcus?
where are you?//
Marcus
wondered why everybody was looking for him, when he realized that his
surroundings had changed significantly. He thought he was hallucinating when he
recognized that sweet voice, tinted with impatience. //Susan?//
Suddenly he saw her, young, shining,
full of love and she was running towards him.
She grabbed
his waist and kissed him. It felt so good.
Marcus swirled
her around, relishing her beauty and realized that his arm no longer hurt.
Catching their reflection in the mirror like surroundings he realized that youth
had been restored to both of them.
//It is time
to go now, children.//
Lorien
beckoned them to come closer and smiled at them. They had earned the right to
be together, forever....
THE END