Chapter seven.

Puberty

 

 

"Remy, you did extremely well on dis last test," Jean-Luc remarked, pleased. Remy had passed his first Guild test and had achieved the official status of Guild thief. "De next step is startin' your trainin' to become a master t'ief."

 

"Merci, m'sieur." Remy beamed with pleasure, proudly wearing his new body armor, which Jean-Luc had given him as a reward for passing the test. These last four years had been the best of his life. He had become part of the LeBeau family, Mattie had taught him to control his empathy and Henri acted like a real big brother. Life couldn't get any better and that scared him. Something awful was bound to happen to remind him that he couldn't be this lucky.

 

"Belle will come over for dinner tonight." Jean-Luc smiled, seeing Remy's eyes flare. Belle and Remy had become good friends through the years and although they were always chaperoned, Jean-Luc was certain they were also meeting in secret. It pleased him that they got along. Marius had agreed to let Belle marry Remy and he had seen the happy expression in Remy's eyes when he had told his son the good news.

 

Remy grinned. "Can I go now, poppa?" Now that the official part was over, he addressed Jean-Luc as poppa again. "Wanna take a shower and dress up bien for Belle."

 

"Mais oui, get goin', mon fils. Dinner's at eight." Jean-Luc watched him hurry out of his study and after Remy had left, he leaned back in his chair and indulged himself by smoking a Cuban cigar. Watching the smoke float through the room, he realized how proud he was of Remy. The boy had made a remarkable recovery through the years, but the process wasn't complete yet. Remy still had problems accepting his sexuality.

 

Remy didn't really want to discuss his problems, but his son still allowed him into his mind at times, offering Jean-Luc information which Remy couldn't put into words. Remy still felt like he didn't deserve Belle, although the young girl was extremely fond of him. But there were other things as well. I need to sit him down for anot'er talk...

 

///

 

Remy sighed, enjoying the stream of warm water that caressed his body. While washing his hair, he wondered why Belle was coming over for dinner. They had talked last night, when they had both sneaked out of their homes and she hadn't mentioned coming over for dinner. Had something happened? Non, she would have let him know. They had their ways of communicating secretly.

 

Relaxing, he closed his eyes and lathered his body with soap. Non, don' let it start 'gain... His groin stirred and his penis was growing hard, fed by his memories of Belle's lips on his. She had first kissed him two months ago. They had both been hesitant and feeling awkward, but then she had taken the initiative and had brushed his lips. He had almost jerked away from her, not expecting the kiss, but had forced himself to accept the caress.

 

He was painfully erect now, but still refused to touch himself. It was bad enough he couldn't stop the erotic dreams, but he was damned if he would come willingly. His body already betrayed him at night and he wasn't adding to his shame. I ain' touchin' myself! I ain' a john.

 

Then Jean-Luc's speech came back to him, telling him it was normal and healthy to feel aroused and he began to doubt again. What if his father was right and it was okay to touch himself? He had been tempted to make himself come several times, but had always resisted the temptation. Rationally, he knew that nothing terrible could come from touching himself, but emotionally he felt frightened.

 

Hesitantly, his right hand traveled down his chest and he curled his fingers around his aching erection. Jus' dis once...jus' dis once... He would never do it again if he felt bad afterwards. Stroking awkwardly, he tried to focus on the arousal that continued to build in his groin.

 

"Mon Dieu." He panted softly, moving his hips and trying to fuck his hand harder. His eyes grew bigger as he realized what he was doing, but he felt unable to stop. He was about to come and he had to finish, had to take off the pressure that had been building for so long.

 

Leaning against the cold tiles, he stared at the hard flesh, already leaking pre-ejaculate. He was close, so close... "Oh, Belle..." He sighed the name, pumped harder and, as the orgasm hit him he dropped on his knees, trembling over his whole body.

 

The sensation ebbed away and left him feeling dirty. Grabbing the sponge, he tried to wipe away his semen, desperately trying to clean himself up. Shouldn' have done dat... it's wrong... dey paid me to do dis for dem!

 

Feeling guilty and lonely, a strange tingling in his fingertips jerked him back to full awareness. His fingertips... were they glowing? Impossible... Suddenly, the sponge began to glow as well. Tiny sparkles energized the air around the sponge and a strangled moan left his lips. What was happening? Was this happening because he had jerked off? I'll be bien in future... Mon Dieu, please let dis stop!

 

But the glow intensified and acting instinctively, he threw the sponge away. It hit the floor with a wet thud and Remy quickly ducked when an explosion rocked the bathroom, sending pieces of shattered tile in his direction.

 

Mon Dieu, why? Why did I do it? I should have known betta dan to touch myself... when will I ever learn? Still feeling shocked, he stared at the hole in the floor. Fragments of tiles had been swept into his shower cabin and a few had even hit his legs, breaking the skin. He was bleeding and the blood mingled with the water that was still cascading down his body.

 

"Remy?" Jean-Luc knocked on the bathroom door. The explosion had rocked this wing of the house and he had been walking passed Remy's room when the eruption had occurred.

 

"Remy?" Remembering Remy's panic when the boy had first had an erotic dream, he persevered and continued knocking and calling his son's name. He had to make sure Remy was all right.

 

Startling from his misery, Remy feared Jean-Luc might simply storm inside; he sounded worried enough to pick the lock and enter without permission. "Jus' a mo...ment..." Remy grabbed a large towel and wrapped it around his body. Standing in the shower cabin, he felt paralyzed. Although he wanted to move, he couldn't.

 

"Remy, either you open de door right now or I'm pickin' de lock!" Jean-Luc felt truly worried by now. Remy's empathy was leaking and he was picking up on his son's fear and confusion. Something had terribly upset Remy.

 

"I can' move..." Remy said, hoping it was loud enough for Jean-Luc to hear. "Poppa?" Suddenly, he felt like the nine year old that Jean-Luc had taken in years ago. "Please, poppa?"

 

Alarmed, Jean-Luc picked the lock in under five seconds and stormed into the bathroom, only stopping when he reached the hole in the bathroom floor. "Remy, what happened?" Looking at his son, he lunged forward, alerted by the panicked expression in the alien eyes. He wrapped an arm around Remy, who was desperately clinging to the towel that hid his groin from view and practically dragged his son into the bedroom where he sat him down on the couch. "Remy?"

 

Jean-Luc's hands moved over his body, and Remy shivered violently. He knew his father was only checking for injuries, but he couldn't deal with the touches right now; flashbacks were about to surface and he had to get away from Jean-Luc.

 

Jean-Luc read the fear in Remy's eyes and stopped examining his son. Remy's shins were bleeding and another shard had hit his son in the chest. It was still buried in the flesh and he had to remove it and dress the wounds.

 

"Remy? Listen to me? Please? What happened? How did de hole in de floor get dere? Why are de tiles shattered?" Remy was still trembling and Jean-Luc grabbed the blanket from Remy's bed and wrapped it around his son. "Remy, look at me?"

 

"Can'... you'll be mad at me..." Ashamed, he lowered his eyes and stared at the floor.

 

"Remy, why won' you tell me what happened?" Jean-Luc cupped Remy's chin in the palm of his hand and lifted his son's face, trying to catch the evasive eyes. "Remy? You trust me, remember?"

 

Remy sighed brokenly and closed his eyes when Jean-Luc's were about to meet his. "I... did somet'in'... bad."

 

"Bad?" Jean-Luc frowned. "Remy, you’ve never misbehaved and you were in de shower. In how much trouble can you get while takin' a shower?" Which piece of the puzzle was he missing?

 

"I... touched myself..." Remy stuttered. He rocked slightly, and Jean-Luc reacted as he had hoped he would, by hugging him and holding him close. "I never did dat 'fore."

 

Jean-Luc rested Remy's head against his chest and soothingly rubbed his son's back. "You never bought my li'l speech, non?"

 

"I know it's normal to feel dat way," Remy started, trying to put his confusion into words. "Mais it's wrong for me to feel dat way." It had made more sense when he had thought about it, but now that he was speaking the words, it sounded stupid.

 

Jean-Luc forced himself to remain calm; knowing Remy needed him close and in control. "Why is it wrong for you to enjoy your body, petit? Didn' we talk 'bout dis years ago? It's been naggin' at you ever since?"

 

Remy nodded his head against Jean-Luc's chest. "It's wrong 'cause... 'cause..." Words failed him, as he recalled the numerous times that johns had paid him to perform a sexual favor.

 

Jean-Luc felt at a loss. "Remy? Don' do dis to yourself. You're punishin' yourself for somethin' someone else did to you. You had to survive and it was de only way you knew how. You have to stop punishin' yourself, petit."

 

Remy shrugged his shoulders. "It's jus' de way I feel."

 

"Remy, what aren' you tellin' me?" Jean-Luc heard Remy's breathing speed up and he held his breath involuntarily.

 

"De sponge began to glow... it started right after I'd... I'd..."

 

"After you came?" Jean-Luc tightened his embrace, feeling Remy tense up. "It's bien, petit. Jus' tell me what scared you."
 

"I'm fifteen, poppa... and I'm actin' like a bébé." Remy tried to compose himself, but in his mind he experienced the explosion all over again as he tried push the memory into the back of his mind.

 

Jean-Luc smiled. "Everyone should have a shoulder to cry on if dey feel like it." How the hell was he going to find out about the hole in the floor? "Remy, you said dat de sponge began to glow." Hopefully Remy would get the hint and would start talking again.

 

Jerked back to reality, Remy nodded his head. "It began slowly, den it glowed stronger... I... I t'rew it 'way from me... de explosion, I didn' expect it and de tiles shattered..."

 

"You're bleedin', Remy. We need to disinfect de wounds and put some bandages over dem. You still got a small piece embedded in your chest. Will you lemme help you?"

 

"Why did it happen? You told me it was bien to feel dat way, mais when I did... I finally found de courage to touch myself and den..." Remy rambled on, letting Jean-Luc rock him. It bothered him that he could change back to a small child when something upset him. It had already happened a few times and he hated needing Jean-Luc this badly. He was fifteen years old!

 

"Remy, you're a mutant... It's possible dat de empathy ain' your only gift." Jean-Luc pulled away from Remy and looked into the swimming eyes. "We'll examine dis later. First we need to tend to your wounds, petit."

 

"I'm sorry..." Remy cringed, looking over his shoulder at the ruined floor. "Why does nothin' go smoot'ly in my life?"

 

"Come wit' me, mon fils. We'll get de first aid kit and bandage your wounds." Jean-Luc got to his feet and waited for Remy to rise from the couch as well.

 

Clinging to the blanket, Remy followed Jean-Luc to his study.

 

"Sit down, petit."

 

Remy obeyed and sat down on the chair opposite Jean-Luc's desk. Jean-Luc kneeled in front of him and pushed back the blanket, revealing the still bleeding wounds. "Dis might sting."

 

Remy remained quiet while Jean-Luc disinfected the wounds and put some bandages over them. The shard sticking in his chest was beginning to hurt and he bit his bottom lip.

 

"Remy? I need to remove de blanket." Jean-Luc waited for Remy's permission. He sighed relieved as Remy dropped the blanket to his waist, revealing his chest.

 

Jean-Luc retrieved some pliers and gently removed the ceramic shard. A rivulet of blood flowed down Remy's chest and he quickly cleaned the wound. "Look at me, petit?"

 

Remy met Jean-Luc's eyes and saw the concern in them. Jus' want you to be proud of me, mais all I do is make t'ings worse. Why did you ever take me in? You should have sent me back to de Antiquary!

 

"Remy, you don' really mean dat. You know I love you and I'd never let de Antiquary hurt you. You're a gift, petit, and you brought a lot of love and pleasure into my life."

 

Remy quickly strengthened his shields, realizing he had been broadcasting. "Sorry..."

 

"Don' be sorry, Remy. It can' be easy for you, bein' a mutant and discoverin' a new power, mais I promise you dat we'll find out what happened." Jean-Luc tucked the blanket back around Remy's shoulders. "Want me to cancel dinner? I'm sure Belle and Marius will understand."

 

"Can' face dem right now..." Mon Dieu, he had been thinking of Belle when he had jerked off! He could never look her in the eyes again!

 

"I'll call dem and reschedule de dinner appointment." Jean-Luc felt more worried than he wanted Remy to know. Those months on the streets had done far more damage than he had initially thought. "Wanna stay wit' me tonight?"

 

"Can I?" He hated himself for being this dependent on Jean-Luc, but he really wanted his father's company.

 

"Oui." Jean-Luc nodded his head and got back to his feet. "Why don' you go to bed and I call Marius? I'll join you in a few minutes."

 

Remy rose from the chair and walked mechanically to the doorway. Napoleon suddenly appeared out of nowhere and mewed pitifully. Automatically, not even considering what he was doing, Remy bent down and picked up the tomcat, carrying it with him to Jean-Luc's bedroom.

 

Keeping the blanket wrapped tight around him, he realized that he wasn't wearing any clothes and pulled some sweats from Jean-Luc's closet. Although the clothes were too big for him, he slipped into the sweats and laid down on the bed. He had worn some of Jean-Luc's shirts before; they usually smelled of his father's spicy cologne and feeling the fabric against his skin gave him a sense of safety. Jean-Luc had never commented on it, just let him be for which he was immensely grateful.

 

Napoleon settled down in his arms and he hugged the tomcat close to his chest. The animal's mind soothed him and he almost slipped into sleep, but then the door opened and he sat upright in his bed... "Poppa..." he whispered relieved, seeing Jean-Luc step into the room.

 

"I told them somethin' unexpected came up. Dey were 'bout to head over here." Jean-Luc took in Remy's appearance, recognized his sweats, but didn't comment on it. "It's a bit early to go to sleep, non?"

 

Remy frowned; if it hadn't been Jean-Luc stepping inside, he would have been sound asleep. "I guess so." He pushed the pillow behind his back and leaned against it, half sitting, half lying down. "I'm scared," he admitted shyly.

 

Jean-Luc sat down on the side of his bed and uncovered a deck of cards. He had taught Remy Poker some months ago and the boy had turned out to be a natural. "Wanna play cards?"

 

"Why not?" Remy picked up his cards and studied them. Royal flush. Cards must really like me. Horrified, he felt the return of the tingling sensation in his fingertips. "It's happenin' 'gain!"

 

The fear in Remy's voice took Jean-Luc aback and he stared at the cards. It was true; one of them was beginning to glow. He had better open a window for Remy to throw it out of because he wanted his bedroom intact, without holes in the floor or ceiling. Within seconds, he covered the distance to the window and opened it. "T'row it!" He couldn't take any risks, not after seeing the hole in the bathroom floor.

 

Jean-Luc's voice finally penetrated Remy's mind and he threw the card out of the window. An explosion in midair followed and they stared at the smoke, floating through the dark evening sky.

 

"Dat was close." Jean-Luc closed the window again and returned to his bed. "Remy?"

 

"It happened 'gain, why? I wasn' bein' bad." Remy's eyes begged Jean-Luc to answer his question. "Why is dis happenin'?"

 

"It's 'cause you're a mutant, Remy. Dis isn' meant as punishment, Remy. Your powers are growin' stronger and a new one revealed itself. We need to figure out how to control it." Jean-Luc looked at the cards in Remy's hand. "You ain' strong enough yet to charge dem all, mais mebbe in time you will. First, it happened with a sponge and now with a card. You can charge inanimate objects wit' some sort of energy... a very destructive energy."

 

Remy listened, breathlessly, wondering how Jean-Luc could deal with this so rationally. "Mais I don' wanna have dis power! What if I blow myself or ot'ers up? What if I hurt you or Belle? Or Mattie?" His tone bordered on panic.

 

"We'll figure out how to control it, Remy." Jean-Luc saw the exhaustion in Remy's eye. "You didn' feel dis tired a moment ago, did you?"

 

"Feel drained... started after I t'rew dat card."

 

"Dat makes sense, Remy. You charged dat card wit' your energy. You need to rest to replace it." Jean-Luc helped Remy to lie down again and covered him with a blanket. "I want you to stay here where I can keep an eye on you."

 

Remy sucked in his breath. "What if I charge dis blanket and..."

 

"Remy, don' do dis to yourself." Jean-Luc carefully plotted his next move. "Would it make you feel betta if I stayed awake to watch you? Dat way I can wake you, should you start chargin' somethin'."

 

"Would you do dat? Mais dat means you can' sleep, not fair." But his eyes were closing and his breathing evened out as he fell asleep.

 

Watching Remy closely, Jean-Luc drew in a deep breath. "Jus' when I t'ought we'd overcome de worst problems another one pops up. How do I help you control dis?" The poor kid had to be terrified he would cause some horrible accident.

 

Lying down next to Remy, he encouraged his son to move closer. Remy rarely allowed him this close in his sleep, but the boy obviously needed the reassurance that he didn't have to deal with this on his own. Tucking his comforter around their forms, he held Remy close, already trying to figure out how to help Remy control his charging power.

 

///

 

"Remy? It's time to wake up, petit." Jean-Luc gently shook Remy's shoulders, trying to wake up his son. "Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes and you need to change your clothes." He hated waking Remy; the boy had had a bad night. Nightmares had tormented Remy's sleep and at one point, he had even screamed for help. Jean-Luc had done his best, trying to calm Remy down and in the end it had worked.

 

"Remy? Wake up!" He tried again, harder this time and Remy's eyes flashed open.

 

"Merde!" Remy cursed as the bright sunlight hit his retina. Quickly, he closed his eyes again and rolled onto his left, turning his back to the rising sun. Huh? What's dis? He was resting against a warm body and arms were wrapped around him, holding him tight. Opening his eyes again, he sighed relieved, seeing Jean-Luc's face. For one irrational moment he had been back in Philippe's room with Hugo holding him down. "Mornin', poppa."

 

"Mornin', Remy. Feelin' betta?"

 

Why did Jean-Luc look worried and why was he in his father's bed? "What... happened?" He rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on Jean-Luc's voice.

 

"You charged a sponge and later a card, do you remember, mon fils?" Jean-Luc half expected Remy to start trembling in his arms and yes, his son was starting to shake like a leaf. "Rien happened while you slept. Chargin' dose objects must have exhausted you."

 

"I'm dangerous," Remy whispered, scared. "What if..."

 

"Don' start wit' de 'what if's', Remy. I won' let anythin' bad happen to you. Right now, I want you to return to your room and get dressed. Join me for breakfast in fifteen minutes."

 

Remy nodded his head. "If I'm still 'live by den."

 

"Remy!"

 

"Poppa! What if blow myself up?" Remy couldn't suppress his fears any longer. "I shouldn' stay... too dangerous!" Tears pooled in his eyes and he struggled free from the comforter, finding himself dressed in Jean-Luc's sweats. "I could kill you accidentally!"

 

"I don' t'ink so," Jean-Luc said, trying to reassure Remy. "So far you only charged lifeless objects. If you accidentally charge another item, throw it as far 'way as possible."

 

Remy nodded his head. Shakily, he got to his feet and headed for the doorway. "Poppa? Je t'aime," he whispered, wondering if this new power would kill him. It might, if he failed to gain control over it.

 

"Remy..." Jean-Luc walked up to Remy and hugged him. "Trust me, everythin' will turn out bien. You've got to have fait' in yourself."

 

///

 

Remy returned to his room, but at the slowest speed possible, knowing he would find a gaping hole in the bathroom. When he finally stepped inside, he avoided looking at the bathroom and headed for the window. Lost in thought, his instincts kicked in too late. Two arms caught him around his waist and pulled him close. Ready to defend himself, he stared into a pair of sky blue eyes.

 

"Belle? What are you doin' here?" She had sneaked into his room before and he had managed to steal into her room as well, but only when they had talked about it on forehand. She looked as beautiful as ever; her hair was long and fair, her eyes sparkled with energy and her full red lips beckoned him seductively.

 

But then his panic returned. I t'ought 'bout her when I was jerkin' off! Quickly, he averted her eyes, hoping she hadn't read that thought accidentally. They had confided in each other about their abilities and it had taken him some time to get used to the idea of marrying a telepath. If it hadn't been for Mattie, he would have told Jean-Luc to call off the wedding, but Mattie had shown him that being close to a telepath didn't have to hurt.

 

"Remy, why did you cancel diner? I really needed to talk to you!" Taking in Remy's appearance she didn't have to use her telepathy to feel how shaken up he was. "You look bad, Remy."

 

Remy calmed down enough to accept her embrace and actually leaned into it. "Belle, I'm sorry, mais somet'in bad happened last night and..."

 

"Neit'er you nor Jean-Luc left de house, so..." Belle looked at him thoughtfully. "And why is dere a hole in de bat'room floor?"

 

"Oui, we need to talk," Remy realized. "Mais not here. I need to talk to you in private."

 

"I need to tell you somet'in' too," Belle said, failing to mask the excitement in her voice. "When can you sneak out? We can meet at our usual place." Belle had the keys to one of her brother's apartments and they used it as their hiding place where they could talk without Marius or Jean-Luc hovering over them.

 

"After lunch," Remy said thoughtfully. "I'll meet you dere after lunch, mais Belle, why did you come here? A phone call would have been easier. One of dese days you're gonna get caught..."

 

"And all de explainin' we'll have to do den!" Belle teased and looked into his eyes. Something was troubling Remy, troubling him deeply and maybe she could make him open up. Using her telepathy to find out what was wrong, was out of the question. She would never enter his mind without prior permission.

 

"I'll see you after lunch..." Belle walked toward the window and opened it. "Don' be too late. Julien's comin' back tonight and I don' want him to find out dat I know 'bout de apartment!"

 

Remy watched her leave, and sighed. He had to tell her about his sordid past. Until now, he had postponed telling her, but he owed it to her to come clean now that their fathers were discussing the wedding. She had a right to know what he really was.

 

///

 

"Remy!" Belle hurried toward the front door, opened it and stepped aside to let Remy pass. Oh, he's so handsome... Remy, I t'ink I'm fallin' in love wit' you. Her feelings were evolving from friendship to love and she was actually looking forward to turning eighteen so she could finally marry him.

 

"Belle, we need to talk... Can I go first?" Remy collapsed onto the couch and pulled up his legs.

 

Recognizing the defensive posture, Belle sat down beside him, keeping some distance between them. His shields had never been this tight before and telepathy-wise she couldn't pick up a single thing. Swallowing her own news, she nodded her head; sensing he had to get this out of his system. Mon Dieu, how bad can it be?

 

"I need to tell you 'bout my life on de streets." Remy sucked in his breath and watched as her expression turn puzzled.

 

"Life on the streets?" Belle moved a little closer. "What are you talkin' 'bout?"

 

"You know I ain' a real LeBeau? Dat Jean-Luc adopted me?"

 

"Oui." Belle nodded her head.

 

Remy closed his eyes, unable to maintain eye contact with her. This was it. "I spent de first nine years of my life as part of de Antiquary's Velvet Ministry." There, he had made a start, now he had to tell her the rest as well. "He named me Noir and fed off me when he felt weak. Dat's why I overreacted when you told me you were a telepat'."

 

"De Antiquary?" Her father had told her about the wizard and the children that made up his collection, but she had never known Remy had been part of it.

 

"He... raped my mind when feedin' off my energy... I decided to run 'way and I did." Remy lowered his shields and he sent her fragments of his stay with the Antiquary. Carefully, he showed her his pain and misery. "I couldn' stay."

 

Belle drew in a deep breath as the images washed through her mind. She gasped, feeling his pain and she finally began to understand some of his fears. "I would never hurt you, Remy." Please believe me, Remy. I will never hurt you!

 

I believe you, came Remy's reply. He had to continue his story before he lost his courage. "I ended up on Bourbon Street, didn' have any money or knowledge of de real world. I had to survive... I met a boy called Philippe and he..." Remy shook his head; he couldn't say the words.

 

"What Remy?" Remy was still broadcasting and she felt his pain, relived that first night on the streets with Remy, saw Philippe and cringed, seeing the track marks on his arms.

 

"Philippe became my pimp." Remy pinched his eyes tightly shut and tightened his shields, locking Belle out completely. He didn't want to feel her anger, her loathing and rejection.

 

"Your pimp?" Shocked, Belle stared at him in disbelief. "Your pimp?" Remy, dis can' be true!

 

"I sucked dem off for a few bucks, mais we needed de money to stay 'live." Remy still refused to open his eyes. "After a few months Philippe sold my virginity to a john and he raped me. I lost consciousness... it hurt so bad and when I woke up de john was gone and Philippe dyin'... I asked Jean-Luc to give Philippe a decent burial and he did..." Remy took a deep breath. "You deserve to know de trut' 'bout me, Belle. You should know you're marryin' a whore."

 

Belle shook her head in disbelief. "How old were you when dis happened?"

 

"Nine, ten? I don' really know... Don' even know my birt'day." Remy was surprised that she was still here, listening to him talk. "When Jean-Luc found me I was determined to change my life, mais was 'ready on my way to make money to score some dope. I would have been dead by now if Jean-Luc hadn' taken me in."

 

"Remy, I need time to... work through dis." Stunned, Belle rose from the couch. Looking at Remy, she realized he feared her reaction, her rejection. She couldn't leave like this. Although she craved some time alone she had to reassure him first. "Remy, open your eyes and look at me?"

 

Remy gathered his courage and looked at her. He expected to see anger and hate, but instead her eyes were filled with love and understanding. "You've got to understand, Belle. I ain' sure I can perform my marital duties... I can' even... I still get scared when..."

 

Belle rested a finger against Remy's lips, silencing him. "Remy LeBeau, dis changes nothin' and everythin'. I still like you, like you a lot, mais... it hurts to know dat you've been through this and never felt confident enough to tell me. We've been friends for years now and you knew I liked you... you should have told me a long time ago, but I understand dat you were afraid, you still are."

 

"You're right..." His eyes stung, but he was determined not to cry in front of her. "I'll understand if you wanna cancel de weddin'. You deserve so much betta."

 

"Non." Belle shook her head. "I want you. I want you, Remy LeBeau. We jus' have to find a way to deal wit' dis. I need a moment 'lone to t'ink, to accept dis. Stay here, and I'll be back in a few minutes. Jus' gimme a moment here, oui?" Trying to reassure him, she gave him a peck on the cheek. "You didn' lose me... dat's what you're afraid of, non?"

 

"Oui, don' wanna lose you, Belle, mais you're too bon for me. I don' deserve you."

 

She cringed, seeing tears pool in his exotic eyes. "We bot' need a moment to compose ourselves. I'll be back in a few minutes, oui?"

 

"Oui..."

 

"And remember, you didn' lose me..." Belle smiled reassuringly and then walked out of the room. She needed to clear her head and to deal with the memories that he had downloaded into her brain. Mon Dieu, de pain! He's in so much pain! She didn't go far and sat down on the stairs, trying to get back in control of her thoughts.

 

///

 

Remy hadn't moved and still sat motionless on the couch. He had pulled up his knees to his chest, placed his arms on top of his knees and rested his chin on his arms. I'm sorry I hurt you, Belle, never wanted to.

 

"I 'ways knew you were hidin' a secret."

 

The voice made him jump to his feet. Remy turned around and faced Belle's brother, Julien. How much had Julien heard? The icy expression in Julien's eyes answered his question, everything!

 

"You're a fuckin' whore! You don' deserve de name LeBeau and you certainly don' deserve my sister. I want you to stay 'way from her! My fat'er won' let you marry Belle once I tell him you're nothin' but a hustler!" Julien seethed with anger. "Stay away from Belle, you hear me?"

 

Remy was at a loss. Emotionally, he was still trying to deal with the fact that Belle now knew the truth and he was in no condition to deal with Julien, who had always hated his guts. "Why don' you let her decide?" Remy immediately regretted speaking up, as Julien's right connected with his chin. A sharp pain swept through his neck and he tried to lean against the wall for support, but his head was reeling. "Don' touch me!"

 

"What?" Julien stalked closer. "You sucked off your johns, but now I can' touch you?"

 

Remy shivered as Julien's anger and loathing crashed against his shields. He had to keep them up or his empathy would destroy him. Have to keep his hate out! He brought up his hands in front of his face, trying to protect himself when Julien's fist impacted again, but this time Julien targeted his stomach and Remy doubled over in pain.

 

"Stop it!" Belle stormed inside, threw herself at her brother and managed to knock Julien off his feet. "You heard him! Don' you touch him and get out! I won' have you beat up my future husband. Get out, Julien!"

 

Remy managed to get to his feet again and stared at Belle in amazement. She was defending him! Why? No matter what she had said earlier, she couldn't possibly still want him!

 

Julien glared at her, but headed for the doorway. "I'm headin' home to tell our fat'er dat you're marryin' a whore. Belle, you're a smart girl, come wit' me. Dere are enough young men out dere who wanna date you. You don' want him!"

 

"Mais I do!" Belle stood in front of Remy and when he tried to interrupt, she shook her head. "Don', dis is between Julien and me."

 

"Belle..."

 

"Go! I don' want you here!" Belle spat the words. Julien slammed the door behind him and she turned around to look at Remy. "Mon Dieu, I'm so sorry he hit you." A large bruise was beginning to disfigure Remy's chin and left cheek. Remy kept one arm wrapped around his stomach and she pushed him back onto the couch. "Sit down and lemme have a look."

 

"Non." Remy desperately held onto his shirt.

 

"Remy?"

 

"Non, don'... it's not dat bad."

 

"You don' want me to touch you?" Belle blinked her eyes in sudden understanding. "I ain' gonna hurt you, Remy."

 

"I know dat..." Remy swallowed hard. "Dere are times when I can' bear Jean-Luc's touch eit'er. It ain' you, Belle, it's me..."

 

"I t'ink I understand. Dese men hurt you bad in de past..."

 

"Oui, dey did and dat's why you needed to know de trut'." Remy's instincts told him to move away from her when she placed her hand on top of his, but he remained motionless, watching her fingers rub his knuckles. "Belle, you don' want damaged goods."

 

"Dat's where you're wrong, cher," she whispered, while bringing the back of his hand to her lips. Gently, she kissed each knuckle. "I do want you, Remy... only you."

 

Remy couldn't suppress his emotions any longer and dropped his shields, shyly inviting Belle in. She accepted the invitation and caressed his mind. We'll do dis toget'er, Remy... I'll jus' have to cancel my plans.

 

What plans? Remy looked into her eyes, feeling her nervousness. He felt her affection for him and he didn't doubt she really liked him, but she was hiding something from him nonetheless.

 

"My fat'er wants to send me to Europe. He t'inks I can learn new skills from our overseas relatives." The sadness in Remy's eyes made her inch closer. "Can I hold you?"

 

Remy nodded his head and wrapped his arms around her as well. "How long would you be gone?"

 

"Years," Belle whispered. "I'd return a few weeks before our weddin'."

 

Remy sensed how important this was to Belle. She wanted to go, had been all excited about it and then he had spoiled it by telling her about his past. "Don'... don' give dis up for me. We can write, call... Dis is important to you and your Guild. You should go."

 

"Are you sure? Remy, I don' wanna leave you." Belle wasn't sure what had priority; staying with Remy or adding new skills Marius couldn't teach her. One day, she might lead the Assassins' Guild and she had to be sure her people respected her. If she was found lacking, they would never support her.

 

"I'm sure," Remy whispered. "Go to Europe. We'll keep in touch, chère." His heart was breaking, but he knew he couldn't deny her. "Everyt'in' will be bien."

 

Belle relaxed in Remy's arms and rested her head against his chest. Mon Dieu, I really love him... I don' wanna leave him, mais I have to. I promise I'll be back, Remy. I promise to make you happy... I promise.

 

///

 

Jean-Luc's heart felt heavy as he watched Remy return home. His staff had told him about Belle's visit and Remy sneaking away, and he had allowed it, knowing something important had happened. But when he noticed the growing bruises on Remy's chin, he realized he couldn't pretend nothing had happened. "Remy, my study, now."

 

Remy jumped, startled, hearing Jean-Luc's voice. He had almost made it back to his room and didn't expect his father to be this close. "Oui, m'sieur," he replied, recognizing Jean-Luc's serious tone. He followed Jean-Luc into his study and waited until his father told him to sit down.

 

"Who put dat bruise dere?" Jean-Luc's tone was controlled, but still full of concern. It worried him that Remy refused to meet his eyes. "Remy, who did dis!"

 

"Julien." Remy didn't dare look at Jean-Luc, realizing he had to come clean. "I told Belle 'bout bein' a hustler and..." He paused to take a deep breath. "It's impossible but she still wants to marry me."

 

"Did she do dis?" Jean-Luc's feelings of protectiveness were getting stronger. Someone had hurt his son, had dared to lay his hands on Remy! He couldn't let this pass unpunished.

 

"Non, not Belle, she'd never hurt me..." Remy's words were barely audible. "We didn' know Julien was in de next room or I would never had told her at dat moment. He overheard our conversation and got angry at the t'ought dat Belle would be marryin' a whore."

 

"Remy, you ain' a whore."

 

"Mais I was one." Remy's fingernails dug into the armrest. "Julien said he was gonna tell Marius and make sure Belle and I would never get married."

 

Jean-Luc was about to reply when a knock on the door interrupted them. "What?"

 

"Monsieur LeBeau?" The servant didn't get a chance to finish the announcement as Marius slammed the door to Jean-Luc's study open.

 

"Marius." Jean-Luc rose from behind the desk and walked toward Marius, trying to gauge the other man's feelings. Jean-Luc's eyes turned cold, seeing Julien enter as well. "You're welcome in my home, but not your fils."

 

Marius nodded his head and sought out Remy's eyes. Remy flinched, lowered his eyes and wished the floor would open up and swallow him.

 

"Jean-Luc, Remy, Julien wants to tell you somethin'." Marius roughly pushed Julien toward the two thieves. "Say it, Julien."

 

Julien hissed, "I apologize for hittin' you, Remy. I shouldn' have done dat."

 

It was obvious to everyone that the apology was a lie. Julien didn't regret a thing and Remy shivered, picking up on Julien's hatred for him.

 

"Mon fils had no right to react de way he did." Marius walked toward Remy and waited for the young thief to rise from the chair. Although Remy still refused to meet his gaze, Marius continued. "Julien told me 'bout your past, den Belle came to me, tellin' me how hard it had been for you to confess your past to her and dat Julien had been eavesdroppin'. She also told me she's determined to marry you in t'ree years and I love her dearly, love her so much that I’ll give her what she wants."

 

Remy shyly peeked at Marius, wishing the man's shields weren't that strong so he would know what Marius really felt. Was the man just acting?

 

"In t'ree years, when she comes back after completin' her trainin', de two of you will marry." Marius hoped he was doing the right thing. Hearing Remy had been a hustler had shocked him and he had been tempted to cancel the wedding, but Belle had set him straight, telling him Remy had admitted everything to her and he had been furious at hearing how Julien had misbehaved. His son had dishonored him by acting the way he had.

 

Seeing Remy's confusion, Jean-Luc replied for his son. "We accept Julien's apology, but I suggest you discipline him nonet'eless. He was way out of line punchin' Remy for bein' honest to Belle."

 

Marius nodded his head. "He will be punished."

 

Remy cringed, seeing the hate in Julien's eyes. Averting his eyes, he looked at his father and found Jean-Luc smiling at him. Lowering his shields, he listened to his father's thoughts.

 

Everyt'in' will be bien, Remy. Have fait' in Belle and in yourself.

 

Merci, poppa. Julien and Marius left the study and Remy walked over to his father, shyly wrapping his arms around him. "I wouldn' have made it wit'out you, poppa."

 

Jean-Luc smiled and Remy rested his head against Jean-Luc's chest. At least I know one t'ing for sure now...

 

And what’s dat, Remy?

 

Belle really likes me... Mais it'll be t'ree years 'fore I can see her 'gain.

 

You can call her, or write, Remy. You have to complete your studies as well and pass your final Guild test in two years. You'll make a great master t'ief and you'll be de first at so young an age. You make me proud, mon fils.

 

Remy nodded his head against Jean-Luc's chest. His father was right. He should concentrate on completing his training and he would find ways to stay in contact with Belle. Everything would be fine in the end.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chapter eight.

Changes.

 

Please remember that this story is AU. I'm taking liberties with Belle's death as I've been unable to read the comics that deal with her last moments.

 

"Here, accept dis token of the Guild's appreciation," Jean-Luc said in a formal tone, handing Remy a small metallic box. Remy turned eighteen today and although it pained Jean-Luc that he couldn't tell his son that it was his birthday, he had found a way to give Remy this gift anyway. Remy had passed his final test and was now the youngest master thief the Guild had ever known.

 

"Merci, m'sieur." Remy accepted the box and wondered about its content. Cautiously, he opened it. Inside, surrounded by black velvet, he found a short metallic tube. "M'sieur?"

 

Jean-Luc took the metal tube out of the box and showed Remy where to push to make it extend. "It's a bo staff, Remy. It'll aid you when fightin' your enemies." After retracting it, he placed it in Remy's hand. "Now you try it."

 

Remy's sensitive fingertips found the correct spot to make the bo staff extend again and he swirled it exploratory, trying to get a feel for it. "It's a beau weapon. Merci."

 

"Remy," Jean-Luc started and folded one arm around his son's shoulder, "Belle returned home today and tomorrow's de weddin'. Are you nervous?"

 

"Un peu," Remy admitted, collapsing the bo staff and slipping the metal tube into one of his pockets.

 

"What do you worry most 'bout?" Jean-Luc sat Remy down on the chair opposite his desk and settled down in his own chair, while studying his son. At eighteen, Remy was a grown man, capable of taking care of himself. Still, he worried about his son. It had started after Belle had left for Europe and Julien had tried to beat Remy up. After that incident, Remy had begun building emotional defenses, building a mask to hide behind, acting arrogant and cocky whenever strangers were close. Except for Jean-Luc, only Mattie, Henri and maybe Belle knew how vulnerable Remy really was. Jean-Luc hated it when that mask snapped into place.

 

"What I worry most 'bout?" Remy blushed, shyly. "Consummatin' de marriage, poppa." Although he had convinced himself it was okay to jerk off, he still felt uncomfortable after making himself come and nothing Jean-Luc said or did, would change that. Now they expected him to make love to Belle, but he wasn't sure he could perform under pressure. "I've never been with a fille 'fore, poppa."

 

"Mais you know what to do..."

 

"Oui, I know what to do, mais..." Remy didn't finish his sentence. "I've been havin' flashbacks 'gain."

 

Jean-Luc nodded his head. He had walked in on Remy rocking on the floor, banging his head against the wall, trying to rid himself of the horrid memories. It had started after Marius had told them that Belle was on her way back to New Orleans. Remy was nervous and felt pressured and that was bringing back the flashbacks. "Belle knows what you've been through and she still loves you. Remy, have fait' in her."

 

"Merci, poppa." Remy fumbled the sleeve of his long leather coat, which Jean-Luc had given him a year ago. He had long figured out that this was Jean-Luc's way of celebrating his birthday and it always happened on the same day, May first. "I'm scared I'll disappoint her."

 

"Remy, de two of you have been on de phone 'most constantly. You know how she feels 'bout you, de distance didn' change dat."

 

"I know dat, mais..." Remy decided to change the subject. "Who will be performin' de ceremony tomorrow?"

 

"Mattie." That should reassure Remy and it did. Jean-Luc smiled warmly. "De ceremony will only take a few minutes and den you'll retreat to consummate de marriage and den... den you'll go on your honeymoon to Aruba!"

 

Remy licked his lips. "Don' you or Tante have some sort of potion dat will make sure I can perform?" He really didn' want to disappoint Belle. She would probably proclaim she had lost her virginity to him even if nothing had happened, just to save his face, but he didn't want her to lie.

 

"I'd rather have you didn' resort to dat." Jean-Luc got to his feet and walked over to Remy, who rose from his chair as well. "I know you're nervous, every groom is, mais you'll feel betta after de ceremony when you're 'lone wit' Belle. She'll guide you through it, dat's our way."

 

Remy fell into step beside Jean-Luc as they headed for the dinning room where Mattie was serving diner. Jean-Luc's words hadn't taken away his worries, but he felt relieved, having someone to talk to about his most private fears. I'll jus' have to put my trust in Belle... she'll guide me t'rough it...

 

///

 

 Remy felt uncomfortable wearing a black tuxedo, but Jean-Luc had insisted he dress up for the wedding. He pushed one finger between his collar and his throat, trying to ease the stiff fabric a bit so he could breathe more easily. It's a good t'ing I control my kinetic charges now or I'd have blown somet'in' up by now!

 

Learning how to control his kinetic energy had been trying, but Jean-Luc had succeeded in teaching him control. He smiled, thinking back to the days when his power had just manifested. Jean-Luc had forced him to charge cards in the morning and evening, exhausting him until he was near collapse. Feeling empty and drained, he would warn Jean-Luc whenever he felt the power building again and day after day they had repeated that procedure until he finally managed to only release his kinetic energy when he wanted to. He still used the cards, finding them perfect to charge and throw at possible enemies.

 

"Remy? What are you thinkin' 'bout?" Jean-Luc walked his son down the aisle.

 

Remy smiled. "'Bout you teachin' me how to control my chargin' power. Did I ever say t'ank you?"

 

"A million times, Remy," Jean-Luc said, grinning. "You'd betta concentrate on Belle though."


"Oui, you're right, of course." Remy swallowed hard, reaching the symbolic circle Mattie had drawn on the floor. Jean-Luc stepped away from him, leaving him alone. Looking down the aisle, he waited for Belle to join him.

 

When she finally appeared, his mouth went dry and shivers traveled down his spine. She had grown even more beautiful in the three years during which he hadn't seen her. Her white gown was made of satin and embroidered with hundreds of pearls. A silk veil hid her face from view, but she was reaching out telepathically and he answered that call. You're très jolie, Belle.

 

Merci, chèr, you're lookin' handsome yourself. Belle smiled as Marius let go of her hand and she stepped into the circle as well, studying Remy closely, liking what she saw.

 

Remy barely heard Mattie's welcome, too focused on Belle. Do you still wanna marry me? It ain' too late to say non.

 

Remy, I still want you. Nothin' changed. Belle extended her hand and Remy curled his fingers around hers. The touch was electric and she grinned behind her veil, looking forward to being alone with Remy later.

 

"Remy! De vow!" Mattie repressed her grin, seeing them this absorbed in each other. She sensed the telepathic conversation, but wasn't privy it.

 

Remy startled and looked at Mattie. Oui, de vow... Mon Dieu, it's my turn!

 

Belle giggled privately, sensing his nervousness.

 

"Bella Donna Boudreaux, I promise to love and honor you and to be fait'ful to you. I'll lay my life down to save yours... Je t'aime, chère." Sorry for de lame vow, Belle, mais I ain' good wit' words.

 

It's very romantic, Remy, Belle reassured him and watched as Tante tied a silk scarf around their hands, binding them together. Mattie continued to wrap the fabric around their wrists as well and Belle knew it was time for her vow.

 

"Remy LeBeau, I promise to be a good wife, to love and support you. I love you and accept you as my husband for de period of five years." It was the maximum time span allowed among thieves and assassins. In five years they would either repeat their vows or go their separate ways. It was the way of the Guilds.

 

Mattie nodded her head and gave them her blessing. Tightening the scarf around their wrists, she said, "Belle, you may kiss Remy now."

 

Belle pushed her veil aside and smiled at him. Remy fought his blush as Belle leaned in closer to brush his lips. According to their custom, the man was the passive one, allowing his wife to take the initiative and control their lovemaking. "Je t'aime, Belle."

 

"Je t'aime, Remy."

 

"De hand-fastin' is complete. Let it be known dat Remy and Belle are now husband and wife," Mattie proclaimed proudly and unwrapped the scarf, releasing them.

 

"Non, stop! I won' allow dis!"

 

The anger in those words was palpable and Remy recognized the voice at once. "Julien..."

 

Belle turned to face her brother, her eyes seething with rage as well. "How dare you ruin' de best day of my life!"

 

Julien had fought his way through the crowd and was now standing in front of Remy. Clutching his glove, he cracked it across the thief's face. "I challenge you to de deat'! You ain' good enough for my sister and you know it! I can' stand by and let her ruin her life!"

 

"Julien..." Marius' tone shook with warning.

 

"It's too late! De challenge has been issued," Jean-Luc whispered into Marius' ear. Julien had surprised him as well.

 

Marius' eyes became sad. Only a moment ago his heart had sung with happiness for his daughter and now Julien was ruining everything. Why had he allowed Julien to attend the wedding? He knew Julien still hated Remy with a passion. "Julien will kill Remy. Mon fils is an assassin."

 

Jean-Luc wasn't so sure about that, knowing how inhumanly fast and agile Remy was. "Choice of weapons?"

 

Julien heard the question. "He can choose whatever he wants. I choose de sword."

 

And de tip is poisoned. It would take all his cunning to come out of this one alive. Mais dat means I have to kill him! Belle will never forgive me if I kill Julien!

 

Belle felt torn. She didn't want to have to chose between her brother and her husband. "Julien, please reconsider."

 

"Non, Belle, my mind's made up." Lowering his voice, he added, "De whore won' touch you!"

 

Remy flinched, knowing Julien intended those words for Belle's and his ears only. "Belle?"

 

"Fight him," Belle said calmly. "He's a fool for challengin' you to de deat'. I will mourn his passin', mais won' hold his deat' 'gainst you, chèr." She had made her choice.

 

"I choose de sword as well."

 

"Are you sure, Remy?" Jean-Luc hurried to Remy's side. "You're free to pick the weapon of your choice."

 

"I'm sure," Remy replied, confidently.  

 

Remy's mask slipped into place and Jean-Luc hated seeing the cockiness that masked his son's real feelings. "Remy, you have to know I will be forced to banish you if you kill Julien. Marius will demand I punish you."

 

Remy's heart missed a beat, but the mask remained in place, the glare in his eyes hardening. Damn you, Julien. No matter what I do, I'll lose. If I don' accept your challenge I will lose Belle 'cause I didn' want to fight for her and if I kill you, I'll lose Jean-Luc, Mattie and mebbe Belle...  "I accept de challenge," he said formally and stepped out of the circle to face his nemesis.

 

///

 

Jean-Luc, Marius, Mattie, Henri and Belle watched as Remy's sword targeted Julien's chest, breaking the skin and the poisoned tip buried itself deeply in the Assassin's flesh. The two men had been fighting for ten minutes now and Remy had gained the upper hand. Julien was definitely outclassed.

 

Julien collapsed and remained motionless. A dark stain was forming on the earth; he was bleeding.

 

Marius was the first to take action and hurried to his son's side, checking Julien's vital signs. They were incredibly weak and Julien would die from the injury that Remy had inflicted. Except if I can get him home in time and give him de Elixir. Calling his men, he ordered them to take Julien home and to tend to his needs. Turning toward Remy, he stared into draped alien eyes. "Julien will die."

 

Remy cringed. "I didn' want to kill him!"

 

"Jean-Luc, I demand you banish your son from N'awlins." Marius ignored Belle's soft pleas.

 

"Mais Julien issued de challenge himself! Remy didn' have a choice!" Belle's big eyes begged Marius to see things her ways. "Don' take Remy 'way from me!"

 

"It was his decision to accept de challenge... If Julien dies I'll hunt you down," he spat, his anger directed at Remy. "Jean-Luc, if you want de truce between T'ieves and Assassins to continue you'll banish your son within de hour!" Marius grabbed Belle's right arm and pulled her along as he headed for his home.

 

"Remy!" Belle tried to catch Remy's eyes and when she did, she gasped, seeing the pain there. Je t’aime, Remy!

 

"Remy, we need to talk." Jean-Luc steered Remy away from the crowd. "If I deny Marius, T'ieves and Assassins will start fightin' 'gain."

 

Remy perfected the mask he was wearing, not even showing Jean-Luc how he really felt. "So you're sendin' me 'way?"

 

"I don' have a choice, Remy." Jean-Luc couldn't believe this was happening. Only an hour ago everything had been perfect. "You remember de list of safe houses I made you memorize?" After Remy nodded, Jean-Luc continued. "Dey're yours. Use de money from de trust fund I put in your name. Contact Marcel, he'll give you all de information you need to access de money. Leave N'Awlins, I don' want Marius findin' you. He's mad as hell. Go to our safe house in Lafayette and stay there. I'll try to join you as quickly as possible. Let's pray Julien lives."

 

Remy moved mechanically, registering Jean-Luc's words, but barely understanding them. He had lost the only home and family he had ever had.

 

///

 

Listlessly, Remy sat on the couch in their Lafayette home. Jean-Luc had brought him here once or twice, but he had never expected to hide here one day. The moment Julien had issued his challenge his world had collapsed. No matter which decision he made, he had already lost the game. Now Jean-Luc had banished him from New Orleans and he was on his own again... like nine years ago...

 

Mais dere are differences, the rational part of his mind reminded him. You have more money dan you can ever spend and t'anks to Jean-Luc you own houses all over de planet. You don' have to prostitute yourself to stay 'live.

 

That much was true, but he still ached inside from the loss of his family. How was he going to cope on his own? And what about Belle? She was bound to him for five years... would she join him or stay in New Orleans? Would Marius give her a choice?

 

"Remy! I came as fast as I could!" Jean-Luc entered the room, disposed of his long coat and sat beside Remy on the couch. Remy moved away from him and seeing Remy distance himself made him cringe. Mon Dieu! Remy was shutting him out! "I didn' wanna banish you, Remy, mais... I had to t'ink of de Guilds. We fought for so long and..."

 

"You don' have to explain yourself," Remy said, coldly. "I'll be out of your hair once I decided where to go."

 

"Oh, Remy!" Jean-Luc was trembling, realizing he was losing Remy. "Je t'aime, petit. Don' do dis to us!"

 

Remy laughed, embittered. "Non, you made your choice. You chose de Guilds over your adopted fils. Should have known you'd make dat decision." Den it wouldn' have hurt dat bad.

 

Jean-Luc's eyes were watering, but he fought the tears. "Remy, you're t'inkin' you can protect yourself from de pain by shuttin' me out. Don' you know it doesn' work dat way?"

 

Remy shrugged his shoulders. "It has to. I lost everyt'in' today."

 

"Remy, please, at least look me in de eyes when you're talkin' to me." Jean-Luc reached out, trying to rest his hand on top of Remy's, but the young man jerked away from him. "Mon fils..."

 

"Don' call me dat! You'd never banish Henri!" Remy jumped to his feet and began pacing the room. "What do I do now? How long will it take de Antiquary to realize dat I'm no longer under your protection? I ain' used to bein' 'lone and now I have to figure out how to deal wit' de loneliness!"

 

Jean-Luc acted at once, prompted by Remy's obvious panic. He walked over to his son and determinedly wrapped his arms around him. Remy tried to pull away, but Jean-Luc didn't let him. "Je t'aime, Remy. Nothin's changed."

 

"Everyt'in's changed." Remy stood motionless. "What do I do now?"

 

Jean-Luc guided Remy back to the couch. "Sit down, Remy." He didn't let go when they settled down on the couch. "You'll travel, ply your t'ievin' skills. We'll stay in contact and I'll talk some sense into Marius."

 

"What 'bout Belle? Will I ever see her 'gain?"

 

"I don' know, wish I knew de answer, mais don' count on it." Jean-Luc held Remy tight, rocking him slightly. "I'll ask Marcel to stay wit' you." He trusted Marcel; the middle-aged man had been with him for twenty years and had never let him down.

 

"Non, Marcel's place is at your side." Embarrassed that he had let go of his emotions, Remy wiped away his tears. "I can do dis on my own."

 

"Remy, I trust you, you know dat, mais..." Emotionally, you're in no condition to be 'lone.

 

"I'll jus' have to grow up a little faster," Remy said, trying to sound energetic. "I have to learn to fly on my own, poppa. You can' help me no more. You did a great job raisin' me. You and Tante bot'...and Henri. Mon Dieu, I'll miss Napoleon."

 

"Don' give up hope yet, Remy. Julien might improve. Marius is very secretive 'bout his condition. My guess is dat he's tryin' to feed Julien de Elixir."

 

"Dat makes sense." Jean-Luc had mentioned the Elixir a few times before and he knew how powerful it was. It might save Julien's life. "Do you t'ink I'll be allowed back if he recovers?"

 

"I don' know, Remy. I do hope so..." Jean-Luc released Remy from his embrace. "Stay close for a while?"

 

"Non." Remy shook his head. "I'd betta put some distance between Marius and me. Dere's no way of knowin' what de Assassins will do if Julien dies."

 

"Where will you be headin', mon fils?"

 

"Europe, mebbe."

 

"I don' like dis, Remy, don' like dis at all. You belong wit' me in N'awlins." Jean-Luc wondered how much longer he could fight his tears. He loved Remy like his own flesh and blood and they hadn't been separated for nine years. They had always been together. "I feel like I'm losin' you, petit."

 

Remy nodded his head. "I feel de same way, poppa. I don' wanna lose you eit'er." Cherishing Jean-Luc's closeness, he realized he would never feel this warm and protected again.

 

///

 

The sharp ring of the phone startled Remy into action and he answered the call, wondering who knew he was here except Jean-Luc. "Oui?"

 

"Remy? It's Belle! Mon Dieu, I can' believe Marius did dat to us!"

 

Remy swallowed hard, feeling miserable and guilty. "I'm sorry, Belle, didn' know what to do. I didn' have a choice. If I hadn' fought him I would have lost you."

 

Belle sighed. "Remy, Julien... he's in a bad way. Marius is keepin' everyone out of his study, mais I've heard screams... dey hardly sounded human."

 

"Do you t'ink Marius is tryin' to feed him de Elixir?"

 

"I hope not... Dere's no way of tellin' what drinkin' de Elixir would do to a dyin' man, mais enough of Julien. How are you copin', Remy? Did you 'ready leave N'Awlins?"

 

"I had to, Belle."

 

"Where are you now?"

 

"I can' tell you, Belle, I'm sorry, mais I promised Jean-Luc to keep my hidin' place a secret. Wish I could tell you, Belle, wish I could see you."

 

"Non, you're right... I understand... you ain' comin' back, are you?"

 

"I don' t'ink so, Belle. Mebbe if Julien recovers and Marius calms down I can return to N'Awlins, mais right now I can'."

 

"What are you gonna do, Remy?"

 

"I t'ink I'll do what you did; go to Europe and try to learn from our overseas brot'ers and sisters. I may be a master t'ief, mais I sure got a lot to learn. Don' worry 'bout me, Belle. I won' give up on you, mebbe we'll be toget'er soon. Mon Dieu, I hope so..."

 

"Chèr, be careful? Julien and Marius might send deir Assassins after you. Promise me to watch your back, Remy."

 

Remy gripped the armrest hard, burying his fingernails in the wood. "Means a lot to me dat you still care, chère."

 

"I'll always care," Belly vowed. "Remy, I've gotta go... I can hear Marius yellin'..."

 

"Take bon care of yourself, chère..."

 

"I will," Belle promised and then her voice was gone.

 

Remy stared at the phone in his hand and listened to the beeping, realizing Belle was gone. The phone dropped onto the table with a loud thud, but Remy didn't care. Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, they had. He had lost Belle as well.

 

///

 

Six months later, his heart still ached with longing. He had seen most of Europe, had traveled through Greece, Italy, Turkey, France and was now staying in London. He lived a life of luxury; his money enabled him to stay in the most expensive hotels and now he was heading for a manor house just outside London that belonged to the LeBeau's.

 

During the last half year he had been in constant contact with his family. Jean-Luc, Tante and Henri called him regularly and they had had long conversations over the phone. But Belle had never called him again and he didn't feel brave enough to call her, for fear Marius might answer the call.

 

Jean-Luc had told him that Marius had proclaimed Julien's death 48 hours after Remy had left New Orleans, but there were rumors that Julien wasn't dead at all; that the Elixir had made him into a zombie, the living dead. Hearing that, Remy had lost all hope of ever returning to New Orleans, Marius would never allow him back to New Orleans.

 

That also meant that he would never see Belle again. The last time Tante and he had talked, she had told him that Belle was doing well, taking over more and more of Marius' responsibilities and she was preparing herself to take over leadership of the Assassins' Guild very soon. Although he was happy she was doing this well, it made him feel even more alone.

 

Six months of loneliness were almost enough to drive an empath crazy. He had never realized just how much he had needed Jean-Luc and Mattie's love, but now that he couldn't have it, he felt empty and drained. There were days when he just wanted to lie down, go to sleep and never wake up again.

 

Driving up to the manor, he quickly scanned it, his eyes never missing anything out of the ordinary that could indicate he was in danger. The old manor house looked deserted and peaceful. Maybe he would find some peace of mind here.

 

After putting his Ferrari into park, he left the car and walked up to the house, carrying his duffle bag. The solicitor in London that represented the LeBeau’s had already handed him the key. After closing the front door behind him, he dropped the bag onto the floor and climbed the stairs in search of a bedroom.

 

It was beyond him why he was still trying to carry on, feeling as tired as he did. Suddenly, a loud noise attracted his attention. It came from the outside and within seconds he had uncovered and extended his bo staff, ready to fight off any Assassins.

 

Running downstairs, he slammed the front door open and halted in his tracks, taking in the scene in front of him. It was Belle, fighting off some horrible creatures, which he had never seen before. Belle, what are you doin' here? Why now, after six mont's of silence?

 

Reacting at once, he ran toward her, trying to take out several of the creatures that were attacking Belle. "Hold on!" Belle's eyes locked with his and her mind reached out to touch his, welcoming his presence.

 

The creatures moved in, using the fact that Belle was distracted to their advantage. Two sharp claws slowly penetrated her armor and buried themselves in her heart.

 

"NON!" Remy cried out in horror, seeing her go down. "NON, get 'way from her!" Using his kinetic power, he charged several cards and threw them at the creatures. They still didn't back down and he wanted to wipe the smug grin from their alien faces. Belle was slipping away from him; she was dying.

 

Crying out in pain, he released his empathy. The creatures seemed to shrink into themselves and backed away from them, leaving as quickly as they had appeared. Remy ran over to Belle's fallen body and kneeled at her side. Gently, he pushed his arms beneath her body and pulled her close to his chest. "Belle, you can' leave me now... you have to fight, chère!"

 

Belle's eyes opened and fastened on Remy's. "Mon coeur," she sighed the words, growing short of breath. "I wish I hadn' lead dem here."

 

"Who are dey?" Remy rocked her slowly, never letting go of her gaze.

 

"De Brood, be 'ware of dem, chèr." Belle managed to curl her fingers around Remy's. A soft smile appeared on her lips. "Remy, I wanted to tell you..."

"What, chère?  Why come here?" Tears flowed down his face. "Why not stay in N'Awlins where you were safe?"

"Had to tell you... still love you... Je t'aime, Remy..." Her last breath carried his name to the wind, her eyes broke and her fingers slipped from his.

 

"Non, Belle, non, you can' leave me like dis... please, chère, please!" Rocking her in his arms, he sobbed, releasing his pain and loss. Just when he had thought things couldn't get worse, they had. Belle had died in his arms and he had been unable to save her.

 

"I'll return your body to N'Awlins, chère, I promise I'll take you home..." He couldn't personally escort her body back home, but his father would surely take care of the matter. Right now, he didn't want to think about handing over her body; right now he just want to hold and rock her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chapter Nine

Sinister

 

 

I no longer care. I just don' care what's goin' to happen to me. Life lost all meanin' after Belle died. Jean-Luc collected her body and personally escorted her back home. Alt'ough he had to leave shortly after arrivin', I could tell by the look in his eyes dat he didn’ want to leave. I miss havin' him close and I felt a similar loneliness in his mind. Jean-Luc wanted me close as well, mais it was his duty to take Belle back to N'Awlins, leavin' me alone 'gain.

 

Belle died in my arms four weeks ago and I still can' stop mournin' her deat'. I loved her and losin' her broke my heart. I guess I always hoped we would find a way to be toget'er again. I should have known I wouldn' be dat lucky.

 

How am I goin' to cope alone?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A violent explosion rocked the peaceful landscape and Remy tried to control the kinetic energy that was leaking into the cards through his fingertips. He had returned to the USA a few days ago and the first thing he had done was leave San Antonio. The kinetic energy was getting harder to control and he couldn't endanger people's lives.

 

For the last few days he had been living like a hermit, seeking refuge in the deserted countryside. Here, he couldn't hurt anyone and it became easier to accept that his powers were out of control. The more miserable he felt, the stronger the kinetic energy became and it needed a way out. He was getting desperate, wondering how much time he had until he blew himself up. The question was, did he want to continue living? He had lost everything and there was nothing left to fight for. Why not let the kinetic energy consume him, let it out and burn him up like a new-born star?

 

Looking at the crater he had just created, he realized that he couldn't survive much longer. He was already shaking with new energy and it would burn him to cinder if he didn't offer it a way out.

 

"Gambit?"

 

Remy's head jerked back, trying to focus on his visitor. Who the hell knew he was here in the first place? Not even Jean-Luc knew his whereabouts! Shaking, he managed to identify the man standing in front of him. "Grey Crow?"

 

Scalphunter nodded his head. Gambit only knew him by that alias. "Yeah, it's me. You look like shit, Gambit."

 

Remy shivered; it wouldn't be long until another crater would join the first. "Oui, feelin' sick, mon ami." He had worked with Grey Crow on a few occasions and the man had even watched his back when he had stolen some items for his boss, Sinister. He didn't know much about Sinister, only that the man paid well and the objects that Sinister wanted stolen presented a good challenge.

 

Scalphunter advanced on the thief, who was clutching the windowsill, trying to stay on his knees on the bed so he could throw a charged object outside. The first explosion hadn't surprised him. The last time he had seen Gambit the thief had seemed volatile at best. "What's going on?" He had to proceed carefully; Sinister would be howling mad if he failed to take the Cajun to the scientist's lab.

 

"You'd betta leave..." Remy's voice trembled and he reached for another card. The energy flowed into the card and he threw it. It exploded in mid-air, much too close to his shelter. "Out of control." He shouldn't give his weaknesses away, he vividly remembered that lesson from when he had been a hustler on the streets, but he was too far gone to pretend. The empathy and the charging power were draining him, leaving him unable to think rationally.

 

"I know someone who can help you." Scalphunter took in the thief's appearance. Gambit looked bad; his powers were consuming him.

 

Remy laughed bitterly. "No one can help me..." Mon Dieu, the energy was building again!

 

"I'm sure Sinister can help you, if you let him." Scalphunter made his move, offering Remy the bait. "You look like you're burning up inside, Gambit. Let Sinister check on you. He's a scientist and probably the only one who can help you."

 

"Never trusted your boss," Remy whispered. His fingertips burned and he grabbed the blanket that partly covered him. Releasing his kinetic energy, it flowed into the blanket. When he threw it outside, the explosion almost knocked his guest off his feet. "I don' want his help."

 

"Doesn't look like you've got a choice, Gambit." Scalphunter moved closer, offering Remy his hand. "Let's get you out of here."

 

Remy was confused; his empathy reflected his feelings over and over again, until he lost himself in them. He had just released a large quantity of energy and wouldn't need to charge anything for some time. "I ain' sure..." But Scalphunter had grabbed his wrist and was now pulling him to his feet. He swayed, but the other man caught him. You should let me die here... But a part of him was still fighting for survival. It was the same part that had kept him going when he had found Philippe's corpse after Hugo had raped him. His survival instincts were too strong and he accepted the other man's help.

 

The alien eyes closed and Scalphunter dragged Gambit over to his jeep, sat him down in the passenger's seat and buckled the Cajun up. That last release had exhausted Gambit, who was now asleep. However, the Cajun's fingertips were still glowing and he kept his distance, quickly keying the ignition. Sinister would be pleased that he had successfully accomplished his mission!

 

///

 

"Finally." Sinister grinned. "After all these years he's finally in my laboratory." Circling his prey, he wished the red on black eyes would open, but they stayed closed. "Remy LeBeau," he whispered the name, tasting it. "Gambit." That was the name Remy had gone by this last year and the thief was going to give him what he wanted willingly.

 

The first thing he had done after Remy had arrived at his lab was to put a Genoshan collar on him. He wanted Remy stable and controllable before operating on him. The empathy had gotten too strong to control and he had to neutralize Remy's powers for now. "You're much stronger than I ever thought you would be. Too strong..."

 

Remy's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes. The heavy weight of the collar and the strange surroundings caused him to panic and he tried to sit upright. His head was reeling and he felt weak and dizzy. Finally, he realized that he wasn't alone and at the same time he began clawing the collar, trying to remove it.

 

"Don't," Sinister advised. "Your powers are out of control. The collar is the only thing that is keeping you from burning up."

 

Startled, Remy stared at Sinister. He had seen Grey Crow's boss from a distance once, but had never met him one on one. "I don' care. Remove it!"

 

"No," Sinister said firmly. "I want you alive." Alive and well.

 

"Why?" Shivers ran down his spine, looking Sinister in the eyes. The man towered over him and radiated a sense of total control that frightened him.

 

"I can help you, but it involves brain surgery. I'll have to remove some cells from your brain stem. After I do that your powers should be controllable." Naked fear and dread stared back at him from Remy's eyes. The mutant was terrified. Good, he would use that fear to his advantage. "You're a fighter, a survivor, you don't want to die. Think about the grief you will cause your family when you die. They'll be so shocked to hear about your death. You don't want to put them through that, do you?"

 

Remy shook his head. He was tired, dizzy and Sinister's words made sense. "Why? Why help me?"

 

"I can always use a Guild master thief, Gambit. You'll be my thief." That was only part of the whole truth. "Work for me, steal for me and I'll give you back control over your powers." Patiently, Sinister waited for Remy's decision.

 

His heart was beating wildly and he was damned scared that he was making the worst mistake of his life, but Sinister was right. He was a survivor, a fighter and he didn't want Jean-Luc to collect his son's dead body after he had had to take Belle home. "I'll work for you."

 

"Excellent!" Sinister grinned. "Now I must leave you and prepare for surgery." Taking hold of a syringe, he placed the tip against Remy's skin and pressed the needle beneath the flesh. Seeing Remy's panicked expression, he explained. "It's a sedative and it will help you calm down. Hopefully I can operate on you within the hour." He watched Remy's pupils dilate; the drug was already working its way through Remy's system. "Don't fight it."

 

But Remy was fighting it, suddenly afraid that he had sold his soul. He didn't know where the fear was coming from, but his whole being urged him to get away from Sinister. Maybe it was the eyes... Red eyes, so much like his own. "Who... are... you?" he stuttered the words while dozing off.

 

Sinister laughed softly, turned away from his patient and left to prepare for the surgery.

 

///

 

An hour later, Sinister returned as promised. The sedative was still keeping Remy immobile, but he managed to open his eyes. Remy flinched, as Sinister's gaze met his and he closed his eyes again. Sinister's red eyes distressed him.

 

"We can proceed," Sinister announced and walked up to the head of the exam table Remy was lying on. He pushed the exam table toward the doorway, actually looking forward to performing brain surgery after such a long time!

 

Remy was terrified and wished he could still cry out, but he had lost the ability to produce sounds, let alone words. Paralyzed, he could merely wait as Sinister placed him on the operating table. Warm lights made his skin tingle and he kept his eyes pinched shut.

 

"Breathe in deeply," Sinister ordered, placing an oxygen mask over Remy's mouth and nose.

 

Remy obeyed, not having a choice in the matter. He flinched violently as another needle buried itself beneath his skin. The room began to spin and he felt nauseous. Darkness descended on to him and he lost consciousness.

 

///

 

His mouth tasted like cotton and swallowing hurt too badly. His head felt heavy and he barely had the strength to move at all, so he tried to remain motionless. What had happened? What was the last thing he remembered?

 

Sinister... Sinister had performed brain surgery on him! The weight around his neck was gone; did that mean Sinister had finally removed the Genoshan collar? He raised his right hand to determine whether the collar was really gone or still there. Touching his throat, he realized it was gone indeed.

 

"Gambit, open your eyes. Look at me!"

 

The loud voice made him cringe and a terrible migraine was building behind his temples.

 

"Gambit, I know that you're awake and that you can hear me. I need you to open your eyes now!" Sinister was getting worried. Although the surgery had gone according to plan, brain surgery was always risky.

 

After struggling with his eyelids for a few seconds, Remy managed to half open his eyes. Sinister was hovering above him, checking on IV's and the monitors he was hooked up to.

 

"Do you remember my name?" Sinister wanted to make sure Remy hadn't suffered any brain damage.

"Si...nis...ter." Whispering the answer took most of Remy's strength and his eyes began to close again.

 

"Good. What's your name? Answer me!" Remy was falling asleep again and the latest CAT scans indicated that his patient's brain activity was normal.

 

"Re... my..." Totally exhausted, Remy fell asleep again.

 

Sinister nodded his head. The surgery had been successful. Remy's strength had been reduced and hopefully the thief's powers would stay that way. But he couldn't dismiss the possibility that they would grow strong again one day. Should that happen, he might have to resort to more drastic measures, but he was content for now. By taking away cells from the brain stem he had obtained a large source of DNA to experiment with. After nineteen years he could finally conduct his tests and if he ever ran out of DNA material again, he would know where to find Remy LeBeau. He would keep an eye on Remy for the rest of his life.

 

///

 

The next time Remy woke up, he felt less dizzy. To his embarrassment he discovered that he was hooked up to a catheter, as well as the IV's. He was obviously confined to bed and had to wait for Sinister to make another appearance.

 

Running a hand through his hair, he froze. His fingertips probed his scalp and found minor scars from the surgery. Sinister had shaved off some of his hair, leaving a bald spot at the back of his neck. He could easily disguise it by letting the top layer of his locks cover up the bald spot, but it felt weird, reminding him the surgery had really happened.

 

His eyes searched the white ceiling and then he took in the medical equipment he was hooked up. What was that IV feeding him? Was Sinister still administering a sedative to him? Was that why he felt queasy and confused?

 

Unexpectedly, the door opened and Sinister stepped inside. "Good, you're awake. We need to talk." He came to a halt at the foot end of Remy's bed and studied his patient. "You'll be bedridden for a few more days."

 

"What... are you... pumpin' into me?" Remy panted softly after finishing his question. He couldn't believe how weak he felt!

 

"A strong sedative. I don't want you trying to get to your feet and walking about. You need rest and this way I can make sure you'll stay in bed. I can take you off the medication in a few days." Remy was recovering slowly, as was to be expected after having had major surgery.

 

"De collar... is gone... It worked?" It frustrated Remy that speaking cost him this much energy. He wanted to hide his weakness, but lacked the strength to do that.

 

"Yes, it worked." Sinister indulged himself and fingered a lock of soft hair. "You'd better rest now. Once you're back on your feet I want you to steal certain items for me."

 

Remy weakly nodded his head. Oui, Sinister had made it a condition that he work for the scientist in order to pay him back for his help. Closing his eyes, he listened to Sinister's retreating footsteps. He was tempted to rip the IV's from his arm, but doubted Sinister would let him get away with it. Sinister would probably restrain him if he pulled such a stunt. Non, it was better to cooperate.

 

Now that he had decided not to fight Sinister for the time being, he released a strangled sigh and allowed himself to fall asleep again.

 

///

 

"Here, I brought you something to eat." Sinister handed Remy a bowl filled with soup. "How do you feel today?" Forty-eight hours after surgery Remy was still shaky and even running a slight fever.

 

Remy's hands shook as he tried to wrap his fingers around the bowl. Merde, he was going to spill it all over the bed! His hands dropped back onto the bed, unable to take hold of the bowl.

 

Seeing that his patient was still unable to feed himself, Sinister placed the bowl at Remy's lips and encouraged him to swallow some tomato soup. "You need the nutrients and fluids," he reminded the thief. He might have to insert a feeding tube if Remy was unable to keep the soup down.

 

Remy blushed, feeling utterly embarrassed that Sinister had to feed him. When he had been a kid it had been hard to accept Jean-Luc's help, but he had managed to grow comfortable with the idea that Jean-Luc was taking care of him because the man loved him, but Sinister... the scientist gave him the creeps.

 

Remy managed to empty the bowl and had to admit he enjoyed the soup, was even hoping there was more. "When can I leave my bed?"

 

"Patience," Sinister chided him. "You can't even feed yourself; that should tell you something, and you're running a fever, which you didn't have before." There was even a possibility of infection.

 

"Why are you doin' dis?" Why was Sinister feeding him personally? From what Grey Crow had told him Sinister was powerful and surely had people working for him that could tend to his needs.

 

"I have a special interest in you... I want you alive and well." Sinister considered how much to tell Remy.

 

Remy tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. "Why?"

 

Sinister decided to distract his nosey patient. "Here's a list of objects that I want you to obtain for me after you healed." He placed the sheet of paper on Remy's chest so the thief could study it.

 

"Dat's mostly medical equipment... a high-tech laser... I can get dose t'ings for you." Thankful for the distraction, he tried to lock out Sinister's presence, but failed. At times, he felt the scientist's mind too close to his own; the man most certainly possessed telepathic abilities and he tried to guard his own thoughts well.

 

Sinister carefully plotted his next move, knowing Gambit was his for the moment, but the time would come when the thief would try to get away from him. He could worry about that later.

 

///

 

Remy cringed from embarrassment when Sinister removed the catheter from his penis. Although Sinister's touches were clinical and bereft of emotion, he couldn't help but flash back to the time when he had been living on the streets. Stop it! Sinister doesn' know you were a whore once! But that thought didn't reassure him.

Finally, the offending catheter was gone and he quickly pulled the sheet back in place. Sinister could have given him a medical gown at least! But no, he was butt naked!

 

"Maybe I'll let you leave your bed tomorrow," Sinister announced, while studying the results from a brain scan he had run on Remy. "How are you feeling?"

 

Remy considered lying, but the monitors would tell the scientist the truth. "Weak, mais betta. Can' I try walkin' today?"

 

"No," Sinister replied firmly. "You'll rest another 24 hours."

 

Sinister puzzled him. From the things Grey Crow had told him, he had gathered that Sinister was ruthless and incapable of emotion and yet the scientist was almost fussing over him! Why, why me? Why fuss over me?

 

"Try to sleep some more," Sinister advised. Remy had just eaten breakfast and now that the nausea was gone, the young man was keeping everything down.

 

Remy shivered as Sinister's cold hands smoothed back his locks to check on the scars, which the surgery had left behind.

 

"The infection seems gone. The antibiotics are working." Pleased, Sinister brushed the locks back over the bald spot and checked Remy's eyes. They were lucid and clear. "I'll be back in a few hours to bring you lunch, but for now I want you to sleep."

 

Remy closed his eyes, eager to appear cooperative, knowing Sinister would inject some sleeping meds into the IV port if he objected. Listening to the retreating footsteps, he sighed, releasing some of the tension that had been building during Sinister's visit. He just didn't trust the scientist. He surrendered to a peaceful sleep, letting his mending body rest.

 

///

 

Remy was excited; Sinister was finally allowing him to leave the bed! He didn't know where to go, as he was unfamiliar with the layout of Sinister's lab, but just being on his feet seemed like heaven! He was standing at the side of his bed, feet planted firmly on the floor as he tried his first steps. Mon Dieu, he felt as weak as a new born. He swayed and would have fallen, if it hadn't been for Sinister, who caught him.

 

Embarrassed, he averted his eyes. Sinister's hold was tight and told him that the scientist didn't plan on releasing him.

 

"Just a few steps. Don't overestimate your strength, Gambit." Sinister helped Remy to cover the distance to the chair in the corner of the room and assisted him as the young man sat down.

 

Remy was panting softly, terrified at how weak he really was. He wouldn't be able to walk unaided for another few days. Again, it surprised him that Sinister was taking care of him personally. The scientist seemed worried, seemed to care, but that was an illusion. Sinister wasn't capable of feelings any longer. Briefly, he was tempted to reach out empathically, but Sinister would immediately detect the attempt to probe his mind, so he abandoned the idea.

 

"Can I sit here a li'l longer?" Remy didn't want to return to his bed.

 

Sinister nodded his head. "I'll leave you for a short time and then I'll help you back to your bed. You're still recovering from surgery."

 

Remy rested his head against the soft fabric of the chair and closed his eyes. "Merci." He sighed relieved after Sinister had left the room. The scientist's presence made him uncomfortable and he was always relieved to be alone again.

 

What did I get myself into dis time? Oui, I can control my powers 'gain, mais now I owe him. I can steal de t'ings on dat list, mais will it stop after dat? What if he'll never let me go? Sinister had a terrible hold over him.

 

///

 

"I brought you some clothes. Your armor is in the suitcase under the bed, as well as your other personal belongings, which Scalphunter found when he searched your shelter." Sinister placed underwear, jeans, shirt, sweater and socks on the side of Remy's bed.

 

"Scalphunter?" Remy searched his memory. "I don' know anyone by dat name."

 

"Grey Crow..." Sinister felt pleased today. The first experiments he had performed on Remy's DNA were coming along nicely and he could finally continue manipulating the gene pool.

 

Remy stared at the clothes, determined to wait for Sinister to leave before changing into them. "What's gonna happen next?" Sinister was in control right now and calling the shots. He didn't mind stealing for Sinister, feeling terribly relieved that the scientist wasn't forcing him to perform any sexual favors. The reason why Sinister was taking care of him still eluded him, but the man obviously didn't want his ass, which had been his greatest fear.

 

"You'll stay here until you're able to return to your normal routine. I suggest you start working out in the gymnasium downstairs. Certain sections are off limits to you. I asked Scalphunter to show you around and he'll join you for the workouts. Within the week you should be able to venture out for the first time. Again, Scalphunter will accompany you outside."

 

I'm his prisoner... he's keepin' me on a leash and Scalphunter will be watchin' every move I make. I should never have agreed to let him operate on me. I'd rat'er be dead dan his possession. But it was too late now. He had made his decision and he had said yes to this deal. I'll steal everyt'in' on dat list and den I'm outta here.

 

///

 

The next few days were hard on him. He started to work out, finding that he was quickly running out of breath, but after a week he was ready to go outside and prepare for his first mission, just as Sinister had promised. Scalphunter was constantly at his side and he was beginning to loathe the man, seeing a sadistic side to him he had never witnessed before.

 

The first theft had gone smoothly and Sinister had praised him. Remy crossed the first thing off of his list and worked methodically until he had reached the last item, the high-tech laser. He had needed Scalphunter to watch his back on that one, but he managed to pull it off and presented the laser to Sinister, who was almost purring with pleasure. "Dat's de last t'ing on your list."

 

"Very true," Sinister acknowledged. Now it was time to bait Remy again, offering the thief the one thing he couldn't decline. "I want you to perform one last service for me."

 

Remy shook his head. "Non, we had a deal and I lived up to my part of de bargain. I'm outta here." Playing with his cards, ready to charge them in case Sinister tried blocking his path, he moved toward the doorway. He hated the fact that Sinister always wanted to meet in a church; each time he was reminded of the fact that he didn't belong here, that people on the streets had called him the devil's son or Le Diable Blanc.

 

"One last assignment," Sinister whispered from the shadows. "I know your price."

 

Remy halted in his tracks. "What are you talkin’ about?"

 

"Do this for me and I'll tell you about your parents... I'll tell you about your mother, about the man that stole you from the hospital when you were only one hour old... I know everything. You want to know the truth, don't you, Gambit?" Sinister grinned, while playing his trump. Remy turned around and looked him in the eyes. "It's the truth, Gambit. I know who you really are. Don't you want to know? Yes, you're dying to know the truth."

 

Remy knew Sinister was playing him, but... "You really know what happened?"

 

"Yes, I do and I will tell you." Sinister's red eyes flashed dangerously in the shadows. "One more assignment and you'll know the truth."

 

"What do you want me to do?" He hated the fact that his voice was trembling, but he couldn't hide his desire to know the truth, he was desperate to know his parents.

 

"Here's a list." Sinister handed Remy a sheet of paper. "I want you to gather these men and lead the Marauders into the Morlock tunnels."

 

Remy sucked in his breath. He had heard about the Morlocks. "What do you want from dem?" Studying the names on the paper, he flinched. Dey’re killers... Sabretoot's probably de worst!

 

"I need their DNA for my experiments," Sinister lied. "You'll capture certain individuals and take them to my laboratory. I'll release them again after I’ve completed my tests."

 

Mais if dat's de trut' why do you need dese killers? A sinking sensation in his stomach told him to decline, but his need to know the truth about his parents was stronger. "Nobody will be hurt?"

 

Sinister shook his head, lying again. He wanted to eradicate the Morlocks, wipe them off the face of the Earth.

 

Remy wasn't sure what to do and flipped a card... The ace of spades... a bad omen. "I'll do it. Now tell me 'bout my parents!"

 

"Oh no," Sinister whispered. "I'll tell you after you completed the mission."

 

Goosebumps formed on Remy's skin, but he was in no position to argue. Turning his back on Sinister, he left the church to gather the Marauders.

 

///

 

Creed gave him the creeps. The man was stalking behind him, never letting him out of sight as he led the Marauders through the Morlocks' tunnels.

 

"Ya know yer way around, boy," Creed sneered, enjoying smelling the fear on the thief. He had been present when Sinister had briefed Gambit, but the thief didn't know that Sinister had given him a different set of instructions and he was looking forward to finally starting the slaughter.

 

"I came to New York a few weeks ago and befriended de Morlocks. Dey trust me." Remy's voice was a mere whisper and yet still it carried through the tunnels. He loathed himself for doing this to the Morlocks. As far as he could tell the Morlocks were a peaceful people, scared of being killed the moment they ventured onto the surface.

 

Creed laughed, amused. "They trust you? Dumb fools."

 

The words stung. "Keep dose claws to yourself, Creed. Sinister wants dem alive for his experiments. Nobody will be harmed!" He was in charge of this operation and he had better use that to his advantage.

 

Creed's eyes danced with mirth, letting Gambit believe he was in charge.

 

"We're approachin' de main hall. Dis is where dey gather at night." Remy sneaked through the darkness; his eyes providing him with excellent night vision. Looking over his shoulder, he stared at the Marauders... the killers. "Remember, Sinister wants dem alive!" His self-hatred was growing and he almost felt nauseous, now that he was betraying the Morlocks who trusted him.

 

Creed sniffed the air. "They're close all right." It was time to assume command. "Scalphunter, grab the boy and make sure he doesn't get in our way."

 

Remy stared at Creed in disbelief. "What?" Suddenly Scalphunter's arms folded around him, immobilizing him.

 

Scalphunter placed a gun against Gambit's temple, tightening his hold on the thief. "Try anything and you're dead."

 

Remy's eyes had grown big, trying to understand what was happening. "What are you doin', Creed?"

"Sinister gave me different instructions, Cajun. You led the lambs to the slaughter..." Creed purred, taking in his preys' scents and moved forward. "Sinister wants them dead!" The Marauders followed Creed as he flung himself at the crowd. The shocked Morlocks were utterly defenseless and went down one by one.

 

Horrified, Remy stared at Creed and the Marauders, who were slitting throats and slaughtering the Morlocks. "Lemme go!" Helplessly, he tried to shake off Scalphunter, but the other man held on tight. "I've got to help dem!"

 

Scalphunter understood perfectly. "You're staying here. Sinister wants them dead and you're not crossing him." If he let Remy go, the Cajun would fight the Marauders, try to stop them. "Sinister knew you wouldn't go along with the killing, so he didn't tell you, let you believe he just wanted them for their DNA. He hates these degenerated creatures and wants them terminated. They're weak and contaminating his gene pool."

 

The cries of the dying Morlocks echoed in his ears and their pain was getting harder to block. "Spare de chil'ren! Don' kill de bébés! Dey're innocents!" He hardly noticed the tears that were flowing down his cheeks as their pain mingled with his. Unable to stay on his feet any longer, he went down on to his knees, swaying dangerously.

 

Scalphunter didn't expect Gambit to collapse and lost his hold on the Cajun. A glowing card exploded in front of his face, blinding him. A series of punches delivered to his mid-section knocked him off his feet and he was unable to stop Gambit as the thief ran toward the dying Morlocks to protect them.

 

"Creed, leave dem 'lone! You fuckin' bastard!" Remy extended his bo staff and it impacted with Creed's skull, hard and unyielding. Delivering another blow to Creed's head, Remy moved out of reach of the lethal claws. "Stop it! Marauders, listen to me, stop!" But no one listened and the slaughter continued.

 

Tears were now running freely down his face, blurring his vision as the Morlocks' pain and terror battered down his defenses. The dark stench of death invaded his mind and he froze, sharing the pain of their deaths and horror. A terrible pain swept through him as Creed's claws buried themselves in his chest. Blood flowed from the wounds and he collapsed, almost losing consciousness in the process, but the Morlocks' misery was keeping him conscious, forcing him to share their pain.

 

"Yer damn lucky Sinister wants ya alive, boy," Creed sneered, licking Remy's blood from his claws. "Enjoy the rest of the show!"

 

Remy was fighting for his breath, as the pressure on his chest increased. All around him Morlocks were dying and there was nothing he could do to stop the massacre! This was his fault! He had led the Marauders here when his instincts had warned him against it!

 

A soft moan coming from his right alerted him and he managed to roll onto his side to check on the source of the sound. He stared into a girl's eyes, bones sticking out her body. The poor child was paralyzed with fear, staring at the corpse that had fallen on top of her.

 

I have to help her... Summoning his last strength, he managed to crawl toward her. Using his empathy to reassure her, he extended his hand, which she accepted. Seeing that Creed and the Marauders were busy slaughtering the remaining Morlocks, he pulled the girl to him and nearly fainted from the pain that radiated through his chest.

 

"Hold on," he whispered, hoping the girl knew he was trying to help her. Carrying her, he headed for one of the tunnels that would take them to the surface. "Don' let go, petite." He could literally see the light at the end of the tunnel; they were so close to the surface! Staggering, he managed a few more steps, before collapsing again. "You have to run, petite, make it to safety." But the girl was clinging to him. "Go, petite. I can' go any furt'er."

 

"Where do ya think yer going, Cajun?"

 

Creed! "Get movin', petite!" Remy pried her hands loose from his clothes and pushed her toward the exit. She finally seemed to understand and started running. "Bien... at least I saved one..." He screamed his pain when the claws slashed open his back. Creed turned him onto his back, straddling his hips. There was nothing remotely human left in the madman's face and Remy hoped Creed would end it quickly. He deserved to die for what he had done to the Morlocks!

 

"They're all dead now," Creed purred, while running a claw down Remy's face. "You did a great job, boy."

 

Remy was paralyzed and unable to respond. Jus' end it!

 

"Creed, back off!"

 

Remy recognized the voice at once. Sinister! The scientist revealed himself, leaving the shadows behind him. Staring into the burning red eyes, Remy shivered uncontrollably. Sinister had set him up! Had manipulated him! How he hated the man!

 

Creed growled. "I wanna finish him off!"

 

"No, leave us, Creed! Join the Marauders... now!" Sinister's voice took on a dangerous tone. "Don't challenge me!"

Creed slowly backed off, got to his feet and glared at Sinister. "You'd betta finish him off, or I will the next time I meet the rat." Turning his back on them, he marched down the tunnel to join the others.

 

"Why?" Remy's body still refused to move and he was grateful he could form the word. "Why?"

 

Sinister advanced on him and cocked his head. Looking down at the fallen man, he said, "I killed your mother after she gave birth to you. Her blood was still warm when I held you in my arms."

 

Non... non! Shocked, Remy stared at Sinister. You killed my mère? He could barely understand what Sinister had just revealed to him. You killed my mère? Unable to speak the words, he concentrated on his thoughts, knowing that Sinister could read his mind. Why? Why kill her? Tears were swimming in his eyes, but he refused to cry in Sinister's presence.

 

"I didn't need her anymore." Sinister's tone was cold and emotionless. "And then the damned thief stole you from the hospital! I only left you alone for five minutes!"

 

A horrible realization was making Remy nauseous again. Stole me? Non, you can' be sayin' what I t'ink you're sayin'!

 

"Yes, Jean-Luc LeBeau stole you from the hospital and delivered you into the Antiquary's hands. I studied your life extensively, but I never had the chance to get my hands on you."

 

Remy was shaking, being driven to the edge of what he could endure. Non, not Jean-Luc! He saved me!

 

"He never told you, did he?" Sinister grinned.

 

Non! Remy tried to hide behind his hair, but Sinister bend forward and swept the locks out of his face.

 

"But there's more..."

 

Non, don' wanna hear more! Leave me 'lone! Briefly, he wished his powers were strong enough to take Sinister down with him.

 

Sinister was about to speak again, but then strange voices drifted down the tunnel. "Normals... we'll have to continue this another time." He walked away from Remy, grinned and disappeared into the shadows again, not eager to be discovered. After gathering his Marauders, he would open a tesserect and take them to his lab where he would plot his next move. If only he had had time to tell Remy about his father!

 

///

 

"We found a live one! Pete, get the stretcher! The kid looks bad... is the ambulance already on its way?" Detective MacAfee kneeled and started to examine the wounded young man. "Hey, can you hear me? Do you know what happened?" He froze, staring into the red on black eyes, remembering looking into them before. Ten years ago he had worked on Bourbon Street in New Orleans and had run into a scared boy, who had had the very same alien eyes. Could this be the same boy?

 

"Don't be scared. An ambulance is already on its way to take you to the hospital. Everything's going to be fine, kid."

 

Dazedly, Remy returned the gaze, wondering why the man that was hovering above him seemed familiar. Too drained and too emotionally messed up, he gave in to exhaustion.

 

"It's okay, kid, just relax." MacAfee watched helplessly as the young man lost consciousness. This time he would stay close and make sure the boy didn't give him the slip again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chapter Ten

Lovers

 

He was slowly drifting back to the surface, clawing his way to consciousness. If it had been up to him he would have stayed in the darkness, but a voice was talking to him, urging him to open his eyes and look at him. Involuntarily, he obeyed and forced his eyes open.

 

"Hey, I knew you were awake. How are you doing, kid?" MacAfee smiled reassuringly and studied the alien eyes, which he remembered so clearly. He had seen them in his dreams after the boy had given him the slip. Later, he had been angry with himself for letting the boy get away.

 

Remy's lips moved but no sound left them. Blinking his eyes, he felt thankful for the dimmed light. Merde, he was hooked up to IV's and monitors again and the catheter was back. What had happened? Creed happened, his brain supplied. The mad man had slashed his chest open and had then buried his claws in his back. Only now, he realized his chest and back were bandaged and he was resting on his left side.

 

"The doctor is confident that you'll make a full recovery," MacAfee informed him.

 

Remy nodded his head weakly. He always survived, didn't he? Why couldn't he simply give up and die? He managed to focus on the brown eyes, once again wondering why the man looked familiar. Why did he feel like the man should be wearing a police uniform? Had he finally lost his sanity?

 

"My name's MacAfee, Dave MacAfee. I found you in that tunnel and you were more dead than alive. Can you tell me your name, kid?" During the last hour he had sat at the young man's bed, studying his features and he was sure that this young man and the boy he remembered were one and the same person. This was the boy who had run away before he could get him to the hospital.

 

His name? "Re...my," he whispered softly. His reply was barely audible and his eyes were closing again.

 

"It's okay, kid, go back to sleep. They're feeding you morphine against the pain. Whoever did this number on you must have been a raving lunatic." Dave MacAfee watched his charge fall asleep again and he was determined to track down the mad man who had cut the kid open like this. Thankfully, his captain had assigned him to Remy's case, but he needed more information if he wanted to solve it. For now, he decided to sit here and wait for Remy to wake up again.

 

///

 

An hour later, Remy startled awake. Pain slashed through his body and his eyes flashed open.

 

"Sorry, Remy, but I needed to check for infection. My name's Benjamin Jones and I'm your doctor. You needed stitches and now we have to look out for infection." Benjamin smiled, grateful that Dave had given him his patient's first name.

 

Dave MacAfee was in the room as well and exchanged a glance with Benjamin. "How long before he will be coherent again?"

 

"A few more days," Benjamin informed him. "I can't take him off the morphine yet."

 

Benjamin got to his feet and walked over to the bed. "Remy, I've got to return to the police station, but I'll be back when you feel better. Maybe then you can tell me what you remember of your attacker?"

 

Remy' eyes remained emotionless. His walls had never been higher or stronger, and he was determined to keep their concern out and his feelings suppressed. Sinister had finally pushed him over the edge by admitting he had killed his mother and then the other revelation... that one had shocked him even more. Jean-Luc had delivered him into the Antiquary's hands!

 

Depressed and listlessly, he averted his eyes and stared at the window. It was raining and the sun hid behind a blanket of dark clouds.

 

"Are you in pain? Remy, are you in pain?" Worried, Benjamin wondered about his patient's reaction. "Can you hear me?"

 

Remy refused to answer and closed his eyes. Listening closely he realized that his doctor was injecting something into the IV port, probably more morphine.

 

"I hope that takes care of the pain," Benjamin said, worried. "Go back to sleep, Remy."

 

This time he obeyed and let himself drift off into sleep.

 

///

 

He slept most of the time during the next three days. Sometimes he would wake briefly because Benjamin was changing the bandages, but then he would pretend to be asleep. He just didn't know how to deal with Sinister's revelations and fled into oblivion.

 

"Remy?" Benjamin was now growing truly worried about his patient. He had stopped administering the morphine and Remy should be responding by now. "Remy? You've got a visitor."

 

Startled, Remy's eyes fluttered open and focused on the doorway. Don' let it be Jean-Luc or Sinister... please, mon Dieu! But to his surprise it was Dave MacAfee who entered the room. The detective pulled up a chair and straddled it. Remy allowed himself a moment to take in the cop's appearance. Dave MacAfee was tall, almost 6 foot nine, muscular and had short blond hair, a brush cut. The brown eyes revealed concern, mixed in with curiosity.

 

"Hello, kid, hope you don't mind me dropping by, but Benjamin told me you were up for visitors. I need information if I want to catch the one who slashed you open." Dave noticed the tremors that washed over the young man's body. Benjamin had told him that Remy had been unresponsive and maybe he could jostle the young man enough to lure him into talking. "I wish you hadn't run away on Bourbon Street ten years ago. I really wanted to help you. I remembered your eyes when I found you in that tunnel."

 

Remy sucked in his breath. That was why the man seemed so familiar and now he recalled that the cop had introduced himself as MacAfee ten years ago.

 

"So you see, we go back a long time, you and me," Dave continued, trying to reassure the younger man. "What happened in that tunnel, Remy?"

 

Remy considered telling the detective what had happened, but realized he couldn't. The cop would never believe him and was in no position to go after Creed, who would kill MacAfee without giving him a second thought. "Don'... remember..."

 

Dave shook his head, indicating he didn't believe Remy. "I think you do, but for some reason you're too scared to tell me."

 

Remy averted his eyes, only to find Benjamin at his other side. Now that he was off the morphine, he studied the doctor. Benjamin Jones had blond hair that reached past his shoulders, wore glasses and had sparkling green eyes.

 

Benjamin used the silence to update his patient on his condition. "There are no signs of infection, Remy, and the wounds are healing nicely. You can go home in a few days."

 

Go home... I don' have a home... He would have to check into a hotel and lick his wounds there. He decided not to tell Dave anything about Creed, Sinister or the Marauders. Maybe some of the Morlocks had survived and he didn't want them discovered. De Morlocks... it's my fault dey're dead...

 

"Remy, you do have a place to stay, don't you?" Dave frowned; he had to admit that Remy's behavior worried him as well.

 

"I'll find one," Remy whispered, listlessly. Merde, he had to pee and the catheter was still in place. No way could he talk his doctor into letting him use the bathroom. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed, he relieved himself.

 

Benjamin and Dave exchanged a worried glance. "You can stay at our place," Dave said eventually.

 

That got Remy's attention. "Our?"

 

"Benjamin and I are lovers, life partners... or are you homophobic, kid?" Dave didn't know what to make of the look of stark fear that appeared in Remy's eyes. "What? Are you scared we're gonna abuse the situation? Don't worry, we won't touch you." It was obvious that Remy didn't know what to make of the fact that they were a gay couple.

 

"Merci, mais non... will check into un hôtel." He shuddered at the thought of staying with them.

 

Benjamin moved a little closer. "Why are you scared, Remy?" He had treated abuse victims before and Remy's reactions were alarmingly similar. Testing his theory, he rested a hand on Remy's naked arm. Remy flinched violently and Benjamin took that as a confirmation of his suspicions. "Remy, were you sexually abused?"

 

Dave gave Benjamin a startled look "Damn, Bourbon Street... you ended up prostituting yourself, didn't you?" His look shifted from Benjamin to Remy, reading the truth in the young man's eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to find you, kid."

 

"The offer still stands," Benjamin said, firmly. "You'll need someone to look after you. You'll be confined to bed for at least another week. I'd really feel uncomfortable letting you go, knowing you'd have to check into a hotel with no one to take care of you."

 

Remy felt cornered and reacted on instinct, releasing part of his empathy to test their intentions.

 

"Wow," Benjamin whispered, impressed, feeling Remy touch his mind. "I never felt anything like it before. I heard about telepaths, but..."

 

"Ain' a telepat'..." Remy admitted. "I'm an empat'."

 

Dave smiled, feeling the gentle touch as well. "You're making sure we're being honest, huh?"

 

"Ain' readin' your minds," Remy assured them.

 

"It's okay," Dave reassured him. "So what are you picking up? Are we telling the truth?"

 

Oui, you're tellin' de trut'. He only felt concern and curiosity in their minds, no evil intentions. But he didn't know them, didn't trust them. Don' t'ink I'll ever be able to trust 'gain, not after learni' dat my poppa stole me... mais what if he hadn'? Den Sinister would have made my life miserable. Does it matter who hurt me; de Antiquary or Sinister? What's de difference?

 

"Why don't you think it over?" Dave got to his feet again; he had to return to the police station. "You can tell Benjamin what you decide. It's okay if you don't want to stay with us, but I think it would be the best thing for you right now. You don't strike me as someone who wants to be alone."
 

You don' know me at all. Feeling embittered and abandoned, Remy tried to shift in the bed to gain a more comfortable position, but waves of pain rolled through his chest and he froze.

 

"Without the morphine you'll feel the pain more clearly." Benjamin gestured Dave to leave the room and then tried to capture Remy's elusive gaze. "I don't know exactly what happened to you on Bourbon Street, but I know there are men out there who would abuse your situation. We're not like that, Remy. We aren't johns. Just consider our suggestion? We’ve got a guest room and you wouldn't have to climb any stairs, which would take its toll in your weakened condition. Just sleep on it, okay?"

 

Remy nodded once, uncertain why they were inviting him into their home. The only thing he could think of was that they wanted his ass, but when he had touched their minds, he hadn't felt any lust aimed at him. They just wanted to help, but why?

 

"Remy? Is there something you want to ask me?" Benjamin watched Remy struggle.

 

"Why? Why help me?" Sinister had hurt him so deeply that he couldn't trust any more. Dave and Benjamin had to have a secret agenda! Locking eyes with Benjamin, he once again felt real concern. The young doctor didn't have any hidden motives, didn't intend to hurt him.

 

Benjamin shrugged his shoulders. "You don't have a place to stay and Dave really wants to help you. I've known him for five years now and every now and then he dreams about the boy he couldn't help, the boy that he let slip away. I don't want him to feel guilty."

 

His empathy told him that every word was true and he didn't know what to do. Checking into an empty hotel room wasn't appealing either, but his fear was holding him back from accepting Benjamin and Dave's invitation and he appreciated that Benjamin didn't pressure him. The doctor left his room after urging him again to rest.

 

///

 

"So, did you make up your mind?" Dave was back to pick up Benjamin whose shift had ended. Expectantly, he looked Remy in the eyes. The fear that still lurked there made him cautious. "If you don't want to stay with us, we'll drive you to a nice hotel. It's up to you."

 

Remy had had two days to think everything over and Benjamin had discharged him a few minutes ago. He was wearing clothes, which he had borrowed from Benjamin. His own clothes had been covered in blood. "I ain' sure," he admitted softly. "I wanna accept your invitation, mais..."

 

"We won't hurt you," Benjamin assured him again. He hoped that Remy would say yes. This was an incredible opportunity for Remy to grow, to learn that he didn't have to fear gay people. He damned the men to hell who had abused Remy in the past. If only he could show Remy that he didn't have to be afraid!

 

Remy knew he had lost the inner struggle when he involuntarily nodded his head. "Oui, I'm acceptin' your invitation." He couldn't believe he had said yes. It was another impulsive decision that would get him into trouble. One bad decision followed another in his life. The only good decision he had ever made was trusting Jean-Luc and even his father had hurt him by banishing him from New Orleans. He was only setting himself up for more heartache.

 

"You won't regret saying yes, Remy." It must have been hard for Remy to accept the invitation. Benjamin looked at Dave and hoped they could heal a little bit of Remy's hurt.

 

///

 

"This is it," Dave announced. He had folded an arm around Remy's waist and guided him to the guest room, which was small, but cozy. "You can stay as long as you want to." He led Remy inside and after piling some pillows, he helped his guest lie down. Remy's eyes were closing; the short trip from the hospital to the apartment had drained him. "Why don't you take a short nap and I'll wake you once dinner is ready?"

 

"Sounds bien," Remy whispered sleepily. In the back of his mind a child's voice was screaming at him, telling him to get away from Dave and Benjamin as quickly possible. They couldn't be any better than the johns who had paid him for sexual favors. Those johns had liked boys, had fucked Philippe who had only been a few years older. He felt like he was still in danger, like the danger had never left.

 

His thoughts raced in circles until finally he fell asleep.

 

///

 

"How's Remy doing?" Benjamin was preparing dinner when Dave joined him in the kitchen. Turning around, he wrapped his arms around his life partner and pulled him close for a passionate kiss. "We actually scare him..."

 

"What did he tell you?" Dave released Benjamin and peeled the potatoes.

 

"Not much, but from what I gathered he was abused at a very young age." Benjamin got the steaks from the fridge and a frown appeared on his brow. "I once walked in on him when he was having a nightmare. He was fighting off someone called Hugo. Remy was struggling with the blankets, entangling himself and begging this Huge not to touch him. That's all I know."

 

"You think he was raped?" Dave got out the utensils and plates and set the table for three.

 

Benjamin nodded once. "And if that's the case it's understandable that he's afraid. We prefer men and he was assaulted by a man... we've got to be careful, love."

 

"He's asleep right now..." Dave sat down at the table and chewed on a breadstick. "What do we do now he's here?"

 

"Act normally and do the things we always do. Maybe if he realizes we're not a threat he'll feel more comfortable."

 

"Did you see his medical records?" Dave knew Benjamin wouldn't tell him any details, but he had to ask.

 

"No," Benjamin said thoughtfully. "Remy never told us his last name... did you have more luck?"

 

"Nothing, it's like he doesn't exist. I even ran a check on his fingerprints, but nothing came up."

 

"So we have to find out his last name. Damn, I really want those medical records. What if there's more?" Benjamin placed the boiled potatoes, steak and greens on the table. "You'd better wake Remy. Dinner is ready."

 

Dave rose from his chair and walked over to the guest room, finding Remy already awake. "Hi there, I hope you're hungry. Ben made enough food to feed a starving family."

 

Remy managed to push himself into a sitting position .When he had woken up he had been terribly confused, briefly fearing he was back in Sinister's lab. Then he had seen the books, CD's and plants in the room, remembering he was staying with Dave and Benjamin.

 

"Dinner is served. Come on, we don't want the food to grow cold." Dave was tempted to pull Remy to his feet, but refrained from doing so. He wasn't sure Remy would welcome his help.

 

"Mais oui, I'm comin'..." Remy pushed himself to his feet and swayed. Leaning against the wall for support he waited until the dizzy spell was over. Following Dave, he slowly made his way into the kitchen where he sat down at the dinner table. "Smells bon," he complimented them.

 

"Hope you're hungry, Remy." Benjamin placed a full plate in front of his guest. "Bon appetite."

 

Remy kept one arm wrapped around his chest, trying to ignore the pain. He even managed a few bites, before the pain became worse and made him drop his fork because he was shaking so badly.

 

"Remy, what's wrong?" Benjamin rose from his chair and walked over to Remy. Seeing the cold sweat on the young man's brow, he grew worried. The last time he had checked on the wounds they had been free of infection. "You have been too much on your feet today and the pain is back, isn't it?"
 

Remy managed a weak nod. All he wanted was to lie down and sleep.

 

"I'll give you something against the pain." Benjamin walked out of the kitchen and returned carrying a vial filled with white pills. "Take two of them." He placed the glass of water in Remy's hand and watched him swallow the painkillers. "Try to eat a little more? Otherwise you'll never regain your strength."

 

Remy ate another few bites, but then stopped. His stomach was protesting. "Sorry, mais can I lie down...?"

 

Dave helped Remy to his feet and steered him toward the living room. Remy raised a puzzled eyebrow, but Dave laughed softly. "We're going to watch a game and talk a little. You can return to your room later." They had decided to let Remy be part of their life, as it was most likely that Remy would try to isolate himself by staying in his room. "Comfortable?"

 

Remy was lying on the couch on his left side to take the pressure off his back and chest. "Oui, comfortable."

 

"I'm going to help Benjamin do the dishes and then we'll join you, okay?" Dave smiled, seeing Remy's eyes close. "That's it. Rest is the best remedy... at least that's what Ben says."

 

After joining his life partner in the kitchen, they did the dishes and made some tea. Thirty minutes later, they installed themselves on the loveseat and switched on the TV. They couldn't find a game and settled for a movie.

 

Dave opened his arms and Benjamin sat between his lover's legs, enjoying the feel of Dave's arms tightly wrapped around him. Leaning back against Dave's chest, he felt Remy's eyes on him. "Awake again?" The stunned expression in the alien eyes briefly baffled him, wondering why it was there.

 

Remy felt the love they shared, but had never seen two men in love before. Seeing the tenderness, with which Dave held Benjamin close, was a revelation. These two men really cared deeply about each other. Their love was strong and he felt humble that they wanted to include him in their lives.

 

Dave had studied Remy's expression as well and said, "Yeah, I love Ben. We met five years ago and have been together ever since. I can't imagine a life without him."

 

Remy swallowed hard. Suddenly he felt the overwhelming need to tell them about his fears. He was probably making a mistake, but the pain needed a way out. "When I was nine I was prostitutin' m'self to stay 'live. I sucked dem off mais refused to let dem fuck me, mais den my pimp sold my ass for five hundred dollars and de john raped me. I don' trust men... don' trust men who like ot'er men..." He had blurted out his fears and now he flushed crimson, avoiding their eyes and trying hard to block their feelings.

 

Dave felt Benjamin tremble, realizing his lover had drawn the right conclusions after walking in on Remy while Remy was having that nightmare. "This happened after we met?"

 

"Oui, I sucked my first john off de night after I ran 'way from you. You wanted to take me to a hospital and I was scared dey'd lock me up. I'd been pretty much a prisoner for de first nine years of my life and I couldn' bear de t'ought of losin' my freedom 'gain." Remy noticed Benjamin's swimming eyes, but didn't say anything about it. "Dat's why I'm scared... bein' here wit' you. Rien comes for free and everyt'in' has a price."

 

Benjamin shook his head in disbelief. "You were only nine years old?"

 

"I had to survive..." Remy shivered.

 

Benjamin left the couch to collect a blanket from the guest room and covered Remy with it. Sitting down on the floor, he watched Remy closely. "Give us a chance to prove to you that not all men are evil? Yes, Dave and I like men, but we would never force you to do anything against your will."

 

"It's hard," Remy admitted, struggling to keep his walls up. Benjamin was close and the man radiated compassion. "Gimme time?"

 

"Sure," Dave said, sitting on his heels behind Benjamin and folding an arm around his partner. "You can have all the time you want."

 

///

 

The next morning Remy felt a bit more comfortable being around Benjamin and Dave. After breakfast, Dave left to go to the police station and Remy expected Benjamin to leave as well, but the doctor announced that he had taken a day off from work to look after him. Remy felt guilty, hearing that. He didn't want to be a burden.

 

"Nonsense, you're not a burden!" Benjamin shook his head at Remy’s objections.

 

Remy grew silent after that and watched Benjamin do the dishes. "Can I help?"

 

Benjamin arched his eyebrow. "Can you stand on your own?"

 

"Non," Remy whispered.

 

"The painkillers are making you sleepy and you'd probably drop the dishes You can help when you feel better, okay?" Benjamin said, seeing the draped expression in the alien eyes.

 

"'kay..." Remy sat in silence, watching Benjamin move about. He didn't know what to say.

 

"So Remy, how old are you? You look like you're sixteen."

 

"I'm nineteen," Remy corrected Benjamin.

 

"And when's your birthday?" Benjamin helped Remy to the couch where they sat down, drinking some herbal tea.

 

Remy realized Benjamin was trying to lure him into talking but he didn't mind. He was glad that the terrible silence was gone. "I ain' sure, mais I t'ink May first."

 

"You aren't sure?" Benjamin's brow grew knitted.

 

"I don' know my parents," he explained hesitantly. He didn't want to talk about the Antiquary or the Guild. "De man who adopted me, Jean-Luc, always gave me a present on dat day so I assume it's my birt'day."

 

"That reminds me... Dave retrieved this from your pockets."

 

Remy smiled. "It's my bo staff."

 

"Your what?"

Remy extended the staff and smiled, hearing Benjamin's surprised gasp. "It comes in handy."

 

"I've never seen anything like it." Remy closed the staff again and Benjamin blinked his eyes. May first... Remy had said May first... that was in two weeks. Maybe they could organize something in order to celebrate Remy's birthday. When he looked at Remy again, he found that the young man was clinging to the small metal tube and that his eyes had closed again. Benjamin tucked a blanket around Remy's form and decided to do some paperwork, which he had brought home a few days ago. In the meantime he would keep an eye on Remy.

 

///

 

"Non, leave me 'lone... Don' fuckin' touch me!" The last word turned into a helpless yelp and Benjamin hurried to Remy's side. The young man was trembling and his hands opened and closed frantically. "Remy, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

 

Remy reached instinctively, feeling the bo staff in his right hand and hearing a strange voice this close. He opened the staff, ready to defend himself.

 

Benjamin backed away, fell onto his butt and stared at his guest. "Remy, it's me, remember me?"

 

Remy blinked once. "Benjamin..." Oui, he was staying with Benjamin and Dave. "Am sorry," he apologized. His chest was throbbing with pain and tears appeared in his eyes. He shouldn't have moved so abruptly.

 

Benjamin quickly composed himself again and collected the pain medication from the kitchen. "Here, swallow two of them." He helped Remy drink the water. "Feeling better? That must have been one hell of a nightmare."

 

Suddenly Remy realized how close Benjamin was. The other man sat beside him on the couch, close... too close and another flash back overwhelmed him. Hugo was back, hurting him. Whimpering, he waited for the memory to pass.

 

"Remy? It'll help when you open your eyes and look at me. I'm not Hugo. Come on, look at me."

 

The voice penetrated his foggy mind and he locked eyes with Benjamin. "Not Hugo... You ain' Hugo..."

 

"You had nightmares about him before. That's the man who raped you..." Benjamin wanted to take Remy in his arms and hug him tight, but couldn't do that; Remy might freak out again.

 

"Oui," Remy admitted shyly.

 

"Remy?" Benjamin licked his lips. "I'd really like to hold you..."

 

"Non." Remy's tone bordered on sheer panic. The only man allowed to hold him was Jean-Luc LeBeau!

 

"Give me a chance, Remy. I just want to comfort you. My heart belongs to Dave and he's the only man I want. You don't have to feel threatened."

 

"Non..." But this time the protest had lost its conviction.

 

"You want me to hold you, don't you? Deep down there's this boy who wants to be reassured."

 

Mon Dieu, how does he know? Remy wanted to protest again, but Benjamin was right. He wanted to be hugged, held and rocked. He didn't struggle when Benjamin wrapped one arm around him, carefully stroking his back, staying clear of the healing wounds.

 

"You see, there's nothing scary about being held... I'm not hurting you..." He knew he had achieved an important victory when Remy rested his head on his shoulder. "It's nice, isn't it? Being held?"

 

"Oui," Remy almost choked on the word. It wasn't supposed to feel this good. He didn't hear the front door open and close, and didn't see Dave step into the room.

 

Benjamin however noticed his lover and smiled gently. "Why don't you start dinner?"

 

The question confused Remy at first, but then he realized that Benjamin wasn't addressing him at all. When had Dave gotten home? "Salut..." Suddenly he was afraid that Dave might get jealous and mad at him because his lover was holding him and he freed himself of Benjamin's embrace.

 

"Hey, kid, it's okay." Dave walked over to them and rested his hand on Remy's shoulder. "I know Benjamin loves me... I'm not that insecure."

 

Remy sighed, relieved. "Merci." Merde, he hadn't even noticed that he was crying and quickly wiped away his tears. Damn pain pills were making him emotional.

 

"Why don't you stay here on the couch and watch some TV? Dave and I will prepare something to eat and then we'll join you again." Benjamin wanted Remy to grow accustomed to their presence. After Remy nodded his head, he got up from the couch and joined Dave in the kitchen.

 

Remy stared at the TV screen, not really registering what was on. It baffled him that he had been able to endure Benjamin's touch without panicking. Maybe he was starting to feel safe?

 

///

 

In the middle of the night, Remy woke up, feeling incredibly thirsty. Merde, now he had to walk to the kitchen to get himself a drink. He pushed back the comforter and carefully got to his feet. Although the vertigo was gone, he still felt weak.

 

Slowly, he opened the door and stepped into the living room. Dave and Benjamin's room was on the other side of the living room and they appeared to be still awake, judging from the noises coming from their room. Soft mews of approval echoed through the apartment and Remy involuntarily started for their room. The door was ajar and...

 

Mon Dieu... He couldn't move, transfixed by the erotic scene in front of him. Dave and Benjamin were making out! Get out of here! You ain' supposed to watch! Move it! But he was paralyzed and continued to watch.

 

Benjamin was on his back and moaning softly as Dave licked his way down his lover's belly. "I love you..." Dave mumbled affectionately and then...

 

Remy suddenly bolted from the room, ran into the bathroom and began throwing up. Non, non, non! Dave had taken Benjamin's erection into his mouth and seeing that had triggered his own memories, memories which he had repressed for so long. Suddenly, he was back on Bourbon Street, sucking off a john and dry heaves tormented his body.

 

"Remy? Remy, what?  Are you all right, kid?" Dave was the first to reach the bathroom and kneeled next to Remy, smoothing back the locks while Remy continued to vomit. "It's okay, just ride it out, don't fight it."

 

Remy shook off Dave's hand and spilled the rest of dinner into the porcelain bowl. Finally, he calmed down and pushed himself away from Dave. Huddling in the corner of the bathroom, he eyed them suspiciously.

 

"Remy, what's going on?" Benjamin kept his distance, reading Remy's body language correctly. He had quickly stepped into some boxers and Dave was wearing a robe. They had been in the middle of making love when Remy had startled them. Was that it? Damn, the door had been ajar when they had stormed into the living room. "You saw us make love, is that it?"

 

Remy shook violently and averted his eyes. Trying to make himself as small as possible, he wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked slightly. "Sorry, didn' wanna watch, mais..."

 

"What did you see, Remy? What triggered this?" Benjamin moved a little closer, but the bathroom was getting crowded. "Dave, why don't you make some tea?"

 

"Sure." Dave realized Benjamin wanted to talk to Remy and left the bathroom, trusting his lover to handle this situation.

 

Remy shook his head. "Don' wanna remember."

 

"What was it?"

 

"Did he hurt you?"

 

Remy's question puzzled Benjamin. "Why are you asking?"

 

"He was on top, non? Know how much it hurts to be de bottom... Did it only once, mais Hugo...Did Dave..."

 

"Dave didn't hurt me, Remy," Benjamin reassured him, suddenly realizing that he was dealing with a frightened nine year old boy that had been hiding all these years. "Dave was making love to me."

 

Remy peeked at Benjamin, feeling like a nine year old again. "Has to hurt... De johns 'ways hurt Philippe when dey fucked him."

 

"Oh, Remy." Benjamin sat down cross-legged and managed to catch Remy's gaze. "That wasn't making love. That was rape. No matter how much they paid, neither Philippe nor you wanted to have sex with them. You needed the money to survive, remember? The men who abused you were perverted bastards."

 

Remy's eyes glowed. "Don' believe you... 'ways hurts."

 

Benjamin licked his lips, ready to make a suggestion that could easily backfire. "Did I look like I was in pain when Dave was touching me?"

 

"Non..."

 

"Listen, the next time Dave and I make love... would you want to watch?"

 

Remy's eyes grew big. "Watch?"

 

"That way we might convince you that making love isn't about pain or control. It's about love and passion."

 

Remy shook his head. "Don' t'ink dat's a bon idea."

 

"Just think about it, okay?"

 

"Tea's ready!" Dave announced, startling them.

 

"Let's move this to the living room, okay? We'll drink some tea, talk some more and then we'll try to go back to sleep."

 

Remy allowed Benjamin to help him to his feet. Benjamin guided him to the couch, where they sat down. Dave handed him a cup of tea and he sipped the hot liquid. Surprised, he found that he wasn't that scared anymore. Maybe it was because Dave was holding Benjamin close again and briefly, he felt envious of the love they had... which he would never find.

 

///

 

The next few days passed quickly and Remy found himself settling down into a routine of sleeping, eating, walking about a bit, waiting for them to come home, eating dinner and watching TV. He felt at peace and that was aiding his recovery. He knew he should be moving out again now that he was feeling better, but he liked being part of... a family, was that it?

 

"You know," Dave started while munching on some potato chips, "you never told us your last name."

 

"LeBeau," Remy replied without hesitation. It showed how much he had come to trust them. "Why do you want to know?"

 

Dave shrugged his shoulders. "Curious." Tomorrow was Remy's birthday and they were trying to contact his family, which hopefully lived in New Orleans, because that was where he was concentrating his search.

 

Remy got to his feet. "I t'ink I'll go for a walk." Yesterday he had gone outside for the first time and it was the perfect way to give them some privacy. He noticed Benjamin's concerned look and tried to reassure his friend. "I'm bien, I really am."

 

"Don't overdo it." Benjamin nodded his head once. "Be careful. You're still healing."

 

"I'll be careful," Remy promised and collected his coat. "Be back in one hour, mes amis!"

 

Dave and Benjamin looked at each other once the door had closed behind Remy. "We've got one hour," they said simultaneously.

 

Dave licked his lips. "One hour to make hot, wild passionate love to you."

 

"What are we waiting for?" Benjamin jumped to his feet and dragged Dave into the bedroom with him.

 

///

 

Remy got back a little early. It had started to rain and he didn't want to catch a cold while he was still recovering from Creed's attack. He used the key Dave had given him to open the door and let himself in. The TV was off and he assumed they had gone to bed early, which he should do as well.

 

"Oh, Dave, yes, harder, please... oh, you make me feel so good... love you..."

 

Oops... Remy blushed, realizing he had managed to walk in on them again! He was about to hurry to his room when Benjamin's moans grew louder.

 

"Oh, yes, yes, yes... so close, so fucking close... come on, Dave..." Soft yelps and demanding whimpers floated from the bedroom into the living room.

 

Benjamin said it was bien if I watched, mais... His feet were already carrying him to their bedroom. Non, can' do dis!  I ain' a voyeur... But he found himself standing in the doorway again. Why had they left the door open?

 

His mouth turned dry, watching Dave and Benjamin make love. It should have shocked the hell out of him, seeing Dave thrust and Benjamin wrapping his legs around his lover's waist, but... he sensed their love and it was beautiful. Dave was kissing his lover, claiming Benjamin's lips and suckling them. His thrusts were gentle and he was pumping Benjamin's erection at the same time. This was nothing like his experience with Hugo. This was different, this was making love...

 

"Remy?" Benjamin smiled, seeing the startled expression in Remy's eyes. "It's okay, Remy... it's okay..."

 

Dave ignored Remy, concentrating on his lover instead. They had discussed the fact that Remy might turn up and watch them and although he wasn't thrilled to have an audience he understood why Benjamin had told Remy that it was okay to watch.

 

Remy fought the urge to run away, but his eyes devoured the scene in front of him.

 

Dave's tongue slithered into Benjamin's mouth and his thrusts grew wilder. Releasing Benjamin's lips briefly, he panted a declaration of love. "Love you, Bennie... always love you... we belong together... love you, sweetheart."

 

Remy swallowed hard, feeling Benjamin's impending orgasm and growing hard himself. He should retreat now that he knew the difference between fucking and making love, but he needed to see the rest as well.

 

Dave suckled an erect nipple, making Benjamin squirm beneath him. Pumping his lover's cock, he aimed for Benjamin's sweet spot. "Come for me, love, come for me...I want to taste you, feel you, smell you..."

 

Benjamin trembled as he climaxed, shooting his come across Dave's hand and belly. "Oh, fuck, Dave..."

 

Dave smiled, kissed his lover again and loosed his own orgasm. Holding onto Benjamin, he rode out the waves of ecstasy.

 

Remy's heart missed a beat, seeing Dave pull out and spoon up behind Benjamin. He had feared that Dave would ignore Benjamin's needs, forgetting about making him come, but seeing them snuggled up like this, he realized his mistake. Benjamin's tired eyes met his and he smiled. "I t'ink I understand now... merci for lettin' me be part of dis."

 

Benjamin smiled sleepily.

 

Remy closed the door and returned to his room. He undressed and slipped between the sheets, feeling ashamed that he was still hard. Seeing them make love had opened his eyes. Fucking was just fucking and johns had paid Philippe and him to fuck them... What Dave and Benjamin had was different and he wanted that... wanted that love badly.

 

Although he was trembling, he curled his fingers around his erection, enjoying the friction that made him even harder. Love, dey made love... it's different... it's so much betta. Wish I had someone to love... All it took was a few more strokes and he was coming hard; white cream pooled on his belly and cooled quickly. Mais rien changed... I'm still alone...

 

Fighting back his tears, he stared at the ceiling. He desperately wanted what Dave and Benjamin had... mais I'll never find someone who loves me back... never...

 

///

 

"You're doing really well, Remy, aren't you?" Benjamin smiled. Remy had gained weight and his chest and back hardly bothered him anymore.

 

"T'anks to you and Dave." Benjamin was right; he had seldom known such peace. The only time that came close was when he had allowed himself to trust Jean-Luc and Mattie.

 

"Dave and I will be late tonight. We're going to catch a movie, want to join us?"

 

"Non," Remy declined, making sure they got enough privacy. "I might be going out myself tonight."

 

Benjamin raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Don' worry. I'm only goin' to de museum." Remy collected his coat and walked toward the door. "Mebbe I'll even meet someone."

 

"I hope so, Remy," Benjamin mumbled after Remy had closed the door behind him. "You deserve someone who loves you."

 

///

 

On his way back home, Remy stopped to have some coffee. He had enjoyed touring the museum and was even thinking about plying his thieving skills again, but he was hesitant to get back into the criminal circuit. Creed and Sinister were still out there.

 

And what 'bout de Morlocks? I deserted dem. I didn' even go back to see if anyone survived. What happened to de girl? He had tried so hard to make peace with what had happened, but the guilt never left him, clouding his happiness.

 

Leaving the coffee shop, the guilt became oppressive and he began to pant, desperately trying to draw oxygen into his lungs. Was this a panic attack? Looking up, he saw that the lights were on in Dave and Benjamin's room. Maybe it would help if he talked to them? Finally told them what a fool he had been?

 

After he calmed down a bit, he uncovered his key and let himself in. "Dave? Benjamin?" After shedding his coat, he headed for their bedroom. "Mes amis? Am I interruptin' l'amour?"

 

Why weren't they answering him? He knocked on the door, but the silence remained. No moans, no whimpers... Suddenly a sense of dread overwhelmed him and he opened the door.

 

Non, mon Dieu.. non, not dem! Dey never hurt anyone! Tears flowed down his face as he approached them. Benjamin was lying on his side, curled around Dave. A dagger was buried in his left shoulder. It had been aimed at the heart. Dave was next to his lover. An arrow had pierced his heart.

 

"NON!" Remy collapsed on to his knees. "NON! Why? Why did you kill dem?" The dagger and arrow were trademarks of the Assassins Guild and he recognized this particular dagger. It belonged to Julien.

 

"Non..." Sobbing softly, he rested one hand on either body, finding that they were still warm. Why had he stopped on his way home? Maybe he could have stopped Julien if he had gotten home earlier! "Why did you take me in? You'd still be 'live now if you hadn' taken me in... I want you 'live... please mon Dieu, don' be dis cruel. Lemme wake up from dis horrible dream..."

 

The floodgates opened and he cried softly, releasing his pain. Mon Dieu, dey didn' deserve to die... dey were bon people... I should have known I was makin' de wrong choice. Everyone who cares 'bout me, dies. I killed dem, killed Benjamin and Dave. Oh, mes amis, je vous aime, please don' leave me 'lone... don' wanna be 'lone...

 

"Don't despair, I'm here."

 

Remy jumped to his feet, extended his bo staff and faced Sinister. "What! Didn' you do enough damage? You took 'way de trust I had in Jean-Luc! You killed my mère. I should kill you in return!"

 

"You can't kill me," Sinister said calmly, not even glancing at the two bodies. "You might have stood a chance when your powers were out of control, but not anymore."

 

"What do you want from me?" Remy charged the staff and was ready to throw it at Sinister, hoping to pierce his heart.

 

"I didn't get a chance to finish in the tunnels. I told you about your mother... but not about your father."

 

Remy froze. The malice in Sinster's eyes was getting to him and the scientist stunk of evil.

 

"Don't despair about the death of your friends... I'm here for you... son."

 

"NON!" Remy couldn't take it any longer. "Dat's a lie! I ain' your son, non!" He threw the bo staff, but Sinister managed to step away. An explosion rocked the apartment and the curtains caught fire.

 

"It's the truth, Remy. You are my son. Damn Jean-Luc LeBeau for stealing you. I didn't even get the chance to name you." Sinister grinned. "Just look at our eyes, son... my legacy."

 

"Non..." Remy was sobbing hysterically. He managed to retrieve his bo staff and stared in disbelief at the bed that was burning as well. "Can' let dem burn!" Turning his back on Sinister, he lifted Benjamin in his arms and carried him outside, placing his dead friend on the pavement. Then he went back into the burning house to collect Dave. Sinister stood amidst the flames, laughing loudly. Remy ignored him and carried Dave onto the street as well.

 

"I'm so sorry, mes amis. I'd gladly die if it would bring you back to life..." A crowd was forming and he had to leave this place before the police moved in and wanted to question him. Dave had been a cop and they would want to catch the killer.

 

Looking up at the sea of flames, he saw Sinister's silhouette and shuddered. Sinister couldn't be his father. The man was playing games with him!

 

As he ran into the night, he realized he was truly alone again. I'll never forget you, mes amis... never.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chapter Eleven

A new beginning.

 

 

What the hell was he doing here? He had never before visited a city's red light district and now he was roaming the streets, looking for company. Had he really become a john like he had always feared? Non, don' wanna use anyone... just need someone to hold me.

 

He had tried meeting someone at the clubs and the bars. Had gone to museums, plays, concerts, hoping to find someone who was interested in him, who would want to share his burden, but most of them backed out the moment they saw his eyes. In the end, his loneliness had driven him back here, back to his past.

 

The crushing loneliness had started right after losing Benjamin and Dave. He had only stayed at their place for ten days, but they had become family to him. Julien killing them had been cruel and sadistic, only meant to hurt him. Why was the monster in New York anyway? But the Assassins operated all over the world. Their actions weren't limited to New Orleans.

 

Shivering, he recalled carrying their bodies outside while Sinister had laughed at him. He ain' my fat'er, non, ain' my fat'er. He's a liar, playin' head games wit' me. He couldn't accept being Sinister's son and was doing his best to forget Sinister's admission, living in denial. All these things were nagging at his soul, draining him of his spirit.

 

So why was he here? To pay someone to care about him.

 

He didn't pay the girls any attention. That wasn't why he was here. He already knew he liked girls, Belle had shown him that, but the question that was haunting him was whether he liked men as well. After all, he had jerked off after watching Benjamin and Dave make out. Was he bi? That possibility scared him.

 

"Hey, gorgeous, I'll be yours tonight for a hundred bucks."

 

Remy studied the male prostitute, using his empathy to probe the man's mind. Non, he ain' what I'm lookin' for... a greedy bastard and a crack addict... he's too much like Philippe... Mon Dieu, I might still be workin' de streets if Jean-Luc hadn' taken me in!

 

"Sorry, you ain' my type," he apologized and moved on. He shook his head in disbelief, realizing just how many men were trying to sell their bodies. Some of the prostitutes even seemed underage. Have to open dat shelter soon...

 

He had decided to fund a shelter in which volunteers would try to reach the prostitutes and hopefully show them the way to a better life. The young ones would get special attention; he had even contacted Child Protection Services to help them find new homes for the young boys and girls. Hopefully the shelter would open in a few days.

 

Suddenly, his empathy picked up on an interesting mind and his eyes scanned the young men, finally settling on a man, who was leaning against the wall, studying his fingernails. The man was older than most of the prostitutes. Probably thirty... or even older. But he was still handsome and he possessed charisma.

 

Remy cringed, the man reminded him of Dave, having a brush cut as well. The only difference was that this man had black hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. The man had drawn his attention because he seemed to care about the younger hustlers. His mind showed no signs of addiction, greed or sexual perversions and Remy decided to make his move. "Salut," he said, walking up to the man.

 

The prostitute smiled lazily. "Hello handsome, what are you doing here? You look good enough for the pimps to make a move on you. Be careful around these parts."

 

Remy blinked his eyes. He clearly sensed concern; the other man was concerned for his safety! "I'm Remy," he introduced himself, studying the man further. He was well build, even muscular, like Dave was, and he probably worked out a lot.

 

"Name's Mike." Mike returned the studying gaze. He had seldom seen such a beauty trying to pick up men. Surely Remy could get anyone he wanted?

 

Remy actually blushed, realizing what he was doing. He didn't want to be alone tonight. The days were no problem; he spend them stealing from the rich and giving the money to the poor. He enjoyed seeing the big eyes when his chosen ones found the money in their living room. Kids who had never seen a toy because their parents couldn't afford them suddenly found themselves surrounded by teddy bears and dolls while their parents were trying to figure out how the toys had gotten into their kid's room. Seeing their eyes and feeling their gratitude kept him going.

 

"So what are you looking for, handsome?" The distant expression on Remy's face puzzled Mike briefly and he wished Remy would take off the sunglasses so he could look into the man's eyes.

 

"I t'ink I was lookin' for you..." His hands had turned clammy from nervousness and he was trying hard not to stutter. "Would you spend de night wit' me?"

 

Mike cocked his head. "Twenty if you want me to jerk you off, forty for a blowjob and I don't allow anyone to fuck me."

 

"How much for the whole night?" Remy felt strangely pleased that Mike wasn't selling his ass. At least Mike had been able to hold onto to some of his dignity. Hugo took 'way mine...

 

Mike's eyes narrowed. "The whole night?" That was a first. "Let's see... one fifty?"

 

Remy uncovered his wallet and took out the money. "Here." He handed the money to Mike, who quickly put it away in his pocket.

 

"You want to party, handsome?" Mike placed a possessive arm around Remy's waist and was surprised to feel the tremors that moved through the other man's body .Come to think of it, Remy didn't look any older than eighteen. "Or is this your first time with a man?"

 

"What gave me 'way?" Remy stared at the pavement.

 

Mike smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of it."

 

Remy started to walk, leading Mike down the street. Several of the other male prostitutes whistled as they passed by.

 

"They're just jealous," Mike teased, wondering where Remy was taking him. Most of the customers preferred to rent a room for the hour in one of the cheap hotels. "Where are we going, handsome?"

 

"Back to my place... is dat 'kay wit' you?" As a boy he had taken his johns to his room, never trusting them when they offered to take him to their place.

 

"Sure, kid."

 

Remy flinched. Kid, Dave called me kid as well.

 

"Are you okay? You look tired, Remy." Mike was surprised when Remy turned left, heading for the wealthier part of New York. He didn't get an answer and they walked for at least thirty minutes. In the end, Remy stopped in front of an apartment building and opened the door. After stepping into the elevator, Remy pressed the button for the penthouse and Mike whistled, impressed. "Should have asked for more money, huh?"

 

Remy startled briefly, but then felt the gentle amusement in Mike's mind. Remaining silent, he opened the door to the penthouse and stepped inside. Behind him, Mike entered as well.

 

"Great place you've got here." Mike's gaze traveled from the valuable paintings to the sculptures, high-tech TV and audio set and he finally ended up looking out over New York. This penthouse cost more than he could ever earn in his life.

 

"Glad you like it." Remy moved into the kitchen. "What would you like to drink?"

 

"What are you having?" Mike joined Remy in the kitchen. The younger man puzzled him.

 

"Tea."

 

"Sounds fine with me." Mike watched Remy closely as he prepared the tea and found that Remy's hands were trembling, which confirmed his suspicion; Remy had never picked up a prostitute before.

 

Remy handed Mike the tea and walked over to the couch in the living room, where he sat down. Sighing, he waited for the tea to cool down. Mike sat down opposite him and Remy felt awkward and embarrassed for actually taking Mike home with him. He placed the cup of tea on the coffee table to remove his boots, but suddenly Mike moved, kneeling in front of him. Remy froze, staring at Mike in a panic that was quickly building.

 

"Let me do that. After all, you're paying me for my time." Mike saw the panic in Remy's eyes and slowly removed the boots. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he realized that he had never been in such a strange situation before. "What do want me to do tonight?"

 

"I need companionship," Remy replied softly. "No sex... don' want dat, mais... would you hold me tonight?" His empathy told him that Mike could be trusted, that the man already cared, worried about him.

 

"Sure, if that's what you want." What other surprises had Remy in store for him? Fuck, Remy had taken off his sunglasses and the eyes were red on black! The kid was a mutant! Mike licked his lips; did this make a difference? No.

 

After finishing his tea, Remy got to his feet and walked into the bedroom. Mike followed him, feeling curious. He even smiled when Remy disappeared into the bathroom to take off his clothes. Mike stripped quickly, but left his boxers on, not sure what Remy wanted from him and the kid seemed insecure at best.

 

When Remy returned he was wearing sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. Mike raised an eyebrow. "You sure you won't be too hot wearing all that?"

 

"I'm bien," Remy said softly, shuffling his feet.

 

Mike walked toward him, took Remy's hand in his and led him to the bed. They slipped between the covers and instinctively he spooned up behind Remy. "This okay?"

 

"Perfect." Remy was fighting the tears, which were building in his eyes. It had been so long since someone had held him like this that it seemed like an eternity. It didn't matter that only three months had passed since he had lost Benjamin and Dave.

 

Mike kept one arm wrapped around Remy and let his other hand tangle gently in the long auburn hair. "You want to go to sleep now, or...?"

 

"Sleep, oui." Remy closed his eyes and relaxed against the muscular body behind him.

 

Mike continued the caresses until Remy's breathing evened out. Remy seemed innocent and honest. Maybe he should tell Remy that he wasn't a real prostitute, but an undercover cop.

 

///

 

The next morning, Remy woke rested. At first, he panicked, not understanding why someone's arms were wrapped around him, but then he remembered Mike. Slowly, he turned in the embrace until he faced Mike, who was still asleep. Now that the sunlight illuminated his bedroom, he realized just how much Mike resembled Dave. The two men could have been twins if it hadn't been for the different hair and eye color. 

 

Maybe he could convince Mike not to go back to working the streets. Maybe he could help Mike find a decent job and support him financially until Mike was able to support himself without prostituting himself. Those were a lot of maybes.

 

"Hey, good morning, handsome." Mike had felt Remy's eyes on him and the sensation had woken him up. Just don't try anything, kid, or I'll put the fear of the law in you.

 

Remy blushed. "Breakfast?"

 

"Sounds great. Need help?"

 

"Non, why don' you take a shower instead?" Mike would be leaving soon and Remy wanted to spoil him a little.

 

Mike nodded his head. "Thanks." Yeah, maybe he should tell Remy...

 

///

 

"Please sit down." Remy had made bacon and eggs and put a generous amount on Mike's plate.

 

After Mike sat down, he studied Remy again. "What's this all about, kid?" He started eating while he waited for Remy's answer. "It's dangerous to pick up men like that."

 

"I know dat," Remy admitted, poking his food. "Mais I needed someone close last night."

 

"I liked holding you." It was the truth. Sleeping that well with a stranger in his arms had surprised Mike as well.

 

"Mebbe you can come back tonight?" Remy asked, hopefully. "Money ain' an issue. Could even financially support you so you wouldn' have to go back to de streets."

 

Mike almost choked in his bacon and eggs. "What?" Was this kid offering to take care of him? He suppressed a chuckle. His captain had sent him undercover to find out more about a serial killer and now this kid wanted him off the streets? "Sorry, sounds tempting, but I want to be independent."

 

Disappointed, Remy nodded his head. He had hoped Mike would accept his offer.

 

"I'll be back tonight, okay, kid?" Mike didn't know why he suddenly felt like a bastard. Maybe it was the vacant expression in the alien eyes. He was still trying to get used to them. "Don't go back out and picking up a man. I will be here at midnight, okay?"

 

"Oui..." Remy played with his bacon and eggs, moving them about on his plate. "I'm serious, you know. Don' want you back on de streets."

 

Something about that tone set off Mike's alarms. I'll be damned... Did he work the streets once and is he trying to help me? The thought touched something deep inside him. He hadn't felt this deeply since his brother had died. "I know you're serious and I really appreciate it."

 

"Mais de answer is still non."

 

"I'm afraid so. Look, kid, I have to go now, but I'll see you tonight. Don't come looking for me if I’m late."

 

Remy smiled, pleasantly surprised by the warm concern in Mike's mind. "I'll stay in tonight."

 

"Good." Mike grabbed his coat and slipped into his boots. "Be careful, kid."

 

"You too," Remy whispered, wondering why he was feeling dizzy.

 

///

 

"It's true, LeBeau. Dere's a new t'ief in town. We got several tips from informants dat a young girl is workin' de territory and she ain' wit' de Guild."

 

Emile, Remy's contact seemed worried and that worried Remy in turn. "I'll look into de matter."

 

"It's bad for business." Emile looked expectedly at Remy LeBeau, the Patriarch's adopted son. "You're pretty much in charge here in New York."

 

It was true. All thieves respected Jean-Luc LeBeau and once the news had spread that Remy had taken up residence in New York, none of the resident Guild thieves had challenged him. "What do you know 'bout de girl, mon ami?"

 

"She's dark skinned, has white hair and white eyes. Dey t'ink she's a mutant too."

 

Remy flinched. "A mutant?" That meant he had to find her as quickly as possible. The Guild Thieves considered mutants an abomination as he had experienced first hand when Jean-Luc had introduced him to other thieves. He had felt their loathing. "Tell dem dat I'm takin' care of de matter. If someone hurts her he has to answer to me."

 

"I'll tell dem." Emile finished his coffee and rose from his chair. They always met in this little coffee shop; it was quiet and personal here. "You got a message for your père?"

 

"Tell him I'm bien." Remy closed his eyes behind the sunglasses, trying to control the raging need to ask Jean-Luc to visit him. When he opened his eyes again, Emile was gone. Checking the time, he found that it was close to midnight. Mike... Would Mike keep his promise and come to his apartment tonight? There was only one way to find out.

 

Remy paid for their drinks, pulled his long coat closer to his body and left the coffee shop, heading back to his penthouse.

 

///

 

Remy's eyes grew big, seeing Mike pace the entrance of the building. "You're early."

 

"And I told you to stay home. Where were you? Did you go back out looking for someone else?"

 

Remy raised an eyebrow. His empathy picked up on concern and... jealousy? Was Mike worried that he would turn to another prostitute? If that was the case, it wasn't because of the money. What he felt was real jealousy. Does dat mean he cares? His heart beat a faster rhythm, realizing that Mike really wanted to see him. "Come inside," he offered, opening the door and heading for the elevator. "Same price as last night or has de price gone up?" Part of him hoped that Mike would refuse the money, but he was deluding himself. Mike was a hustler, trying to make money.

 

"Same as last night," Mike said eventually, leaving the elevator as they arrived at the penthouse. He dropped his coat onto a chair and sat down on the couch. Remy was in the kitchen again, preparing tea. "I've got to ask, kid... where does the money come from? How can you afford this place?"

 

Remy handed him the tea and sat down on the other end of the couch. "Got a wealt'y père."

 

"Where are you from? You're not from around here."

 

"N'Awlins."

 

"Cajun, huh?"

 

"Oui." The silence returned and Remy began to feel shy. He should probably pay Mike first. "Here." He placed the money on the coffee table.

 

Mike nodded once. "Same routine as yesterday?"

 

Remy simply stared at him. He wanted to touch Mike, caress his face... Mon Dieu, I can' be fallin' in love wit' him! He'll never give up hustlin'...

 

"What is it, Remy?" Mike placed his coffee mug on the table and moved a little closer. Gently, he removed the sunglasses. "Do you really need them at night?"

 

"Non," Remy whispered, breathlessly. "Jus' don' want people to see my eyes." Mon Dieu, Mike was close and his mind felt warm and inviting...

 

"Looks to me like you want to do more than me holding you." Mike smiled reassuringly. He shouldn't get involved with Remy, but maybe...

 

"I'd like to kiss you," Remy admitted, shakily. "Mais I can' do dat."

 

"Why is that?" Mike raised his left hand and gently stroked the auburn locks.

 

"You're a hustler, doin' dis for money. It'd be a lie." He had set himself up, thinking he could convince himself that he could do this. Mike was a hustler; this wasn't about feelings.

 

"Then forget about the money," Mike said firmly. "The truth is that I like you too. If we hadn't met this way I would have asked you to date me."

 

"Wouldn' work, chèr," Remy laughed, embittered. "Been searchin' for l'amour my whole life... I can' settle for less."


"What if I told you that I've been thinking about you all day?" It was the truth. He had been less alert than usual and although he had found new clues that might lead him to the serial killer, meeting Remy again had been on his mind constantly. Was this love at first sight?

 

"Mike?" Remy tried to sort out his feelings for Mike, realizing he felt attracted to him as well. Mon Dieu, dat means I'm bi!

 

"Remy, can I kiss you?" The cornered expression in Remy's eyes worried Mike. Were his suspicions correct and had Remy been a prostitute himself? How old could the kid have been when he had worked the streets? Had he been a minor? His blood was beginning to boil. He was out there on the streets every day and tried to talk to the really young boys, even called in his colleagues to have them arrested, hoping someone would look after them and make sure they didn't end up on the streets again.

 

"I ain' sure," Remy said, shyly. "I'm scared."

 

"I figured that much." Mike nodded his head. "I'll be gentle, kid."

 

Remy pinched his eyes tightly shut and waited for Mike to take the initiative. When nothing happened, he searched the other man's gaze. "What?"

 

"I want you to kiss me. I think you need to be in control here."

 

Remy trembled. "You know..."

 

"I think so... how old were you?"

 

"Nine..."

 

"Nine?" Anger burned in the pit of his stomach. "Nine? Where were your parents, Remy?"

 

"Don' have any." Non, Sinister ain' my fat'er... he was jus' playin' games!

 

"Come here..." Mike carefully wrapped his arms around Remy, encouraging him to rest his head on his shoulder. "I need to tell you something before we take this any further." Remy trembled in his arms.

 

"Oui?" He finally relaxed in Mike's arms, feeling like he had known the man for years. This had to be love.

 

"I'm not really a hustler." Mike held his breath as Remy freed himself of the embrace to lock eyes with him. "I'm a cop, undercover." The tremors grew worse. Shouldn't hearing that he was a cop reassure Remy?

 

"A cop? Are you arrestin' me?"

 

"No, you didn't do anything illegal."

 

"I paid you to come home wit' me..."

 

"To hold you in your sleep. That's not against the law. If you had paid me to have sex with you..."
 

Remy abruptly got to his feet. "Please leave."

 

"Why?"

 

Remy shook violently. Dave had been a cop... "I can' do dis anymore... Please don' come back here ever 'gain... I'll probably move somewhere else."

 

Mike rose from the couch and came to a halt in front of Remy. "Look at me, please?"

 

"What?" Why had he fooled himself into thinking he could do this? Why did I have to fall for him? I want him close... Is it jus' 'cause he reminds me of Dave?

 

"Why don't we start all over again? Let's meet for dinner tomorrow evening and then we'll see what happens?"

 

"A date?" Non, don' do dis to me! Jus' leave me, get outta my life! Being in love with a man scared him and now Mike was offering to start dating?

 

"Yes, a date. Let's say about eight? I'll pick you up and you can choose the restaurant." Realizing that Remy needed a moment to compose himself, he considered leaving, but Remy had asked him here to hold him during the night. "What do we do now, Remy? It's your call, kid. Want me to leave or to stay?"

 

"What will happen if you stay?" His voice trembled.

 

"I'll hold you in your sleep, just like last night... nothing else will happen."

 

Tell him to go 'way! He's a cop and you're a t'ief! It will never work out! Oh mon Dieu, what if Julien is still watchin' me, gettin' ready to move in and kill Mike like he killed Benjamin and Dave? I can' take dat risk. "You'd betta leave and never come back. I'm trouble."

 

Mike heard the words, but was convinced that Remy didn't mean them. There was something about the tone that was too damned off. "Why are you trouble?"

 

"De people I care 'bout die... de last two people I cared 'bout were killed by... someone from my past. He might come after you too." Why was Julien doing this to him? Why was Julien making his life miserable? Hadn't he suffered enough?

 

"This man killed your friends? Did you go to the police?"

 

Remy laughed, embittered. You have no idea who you're dealin' wit'. De police can' take on de likes of Julien, Creed or Sinister. De only way I can protect you is by leavin' you.

 

Mike was startled, hearing Remy's frantic laughter. "Hey, calm down, kid." Acting on instinct, he folded his arms around Remy and guided the younger man to the bed. When Remy didn't object, Mike stripped him quickly, took off his own clothes as well and held Remy close, lying spooned behind him. "I don't know what happened to your friends, but you should talk to the detective in charge of solving the case."

 

I can' do dat, chèr... dey'd never believe me... and I'd endanger deir life. Remy closed his eyes and clung to Mike, who held him through the night.

 

///

 

"De girl was seen 'gain, LeBeau. She was near de museum, checkin' out de security system. De Guild is gettin' impatient. You need to deal wit' her." Emile sipped his coffee, trying to pinpoint the change in Remy LeBeau. The young thief looked rested, but at the same time restless.

 

"Anyt'ing else?" Remy stared into the dark coffee, trying hard not to think of Mike.

 

"Looks like de Shadowking is interested in her. Last thin' I heard was Lian released de hounds to track de girl down."

 

"Merde!" Remy slammed his fist into the table. He had tried tracking her down as well, but the girl was smart and didn't leave any traces to go by. It didn't help that he was thinking about Mike most of the time either. "I'll find her," he vowed.

 

Satisfied, Emile left the coffee shop. Remy was lost in thought, trying to figure out how to find her and didn't notice Mike walking up to him.

 

"Remy?"

 

"What?" Startled, Remy looked up. "Mike, what are you doin' here?"

 

"I could ask you de same thing, kid. We arrested the perp I was after and the case is closed. I'm back to my normal routine. Do you know we're watching this place because a lot of known thieves hang out around here?"

 

"T'ieves? Non, didn' know dat." Remy acted like he didn' care, but grew alert. Why was Mike here?

 

"Care to explain this to me?" Mike shoved a letter across the table. "It's from my brother." Calm, he had to stay calm and give Remy a chance to explain himself. Long, gracious fingers, opened the envelope and Remy's eyes grew big. "Why don't you read it aloud?"

 

Remy licked his lips... I can' do dis! But he started reading it anyway.

 

Hi Mike,

 

I know it's been a while since I invited you over, but we're having a guest over and the kid scares easily, but I should start at the beginning. Benjamin and I are fine. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary and we plan on throwing a party later this month. You're invited of course and feel free to bring a friend.

 

Work is stressful, but what's new? I don't have to tell you about being a cop. Man, we really should get together again and catch up. We'll do that at the party all right?

 

You're probably wondering about our guest. Yeah, we don't usually take people in, but you should meet this kid. Remy's nineteen years old and... Benjamin turned into a mother hen and can't stop fussing over Remy. I found the kid in a dark tunnel, his back and chest had been slashed open. He didn't have a place to stay after Bennie discharged him and he accepted our invitation to stay with us. Bennie thinks Remy was abused as a child, but it's hard to find information on the kid, as I don't know his last name. By the way, Remy's a mutant, an empath. He has the most unique eyes I've ever seen, red on black. Man, you really have to meet him. Remy's a great kid. If I'd had a son I would have liked him to be like Remy...

 

"Non, please, can' read any furt'er." Mon Dieu, dis can' be happenin'! But he was holding Dave's letter in his hands; a letter Dave had written his brother. Sacre mère... Mike and Dave are brot'ers. Dat's why Mike reminded me so much of Dave! What if he t'inks I killed dem? Dey'll never catch Julien... "I didn' kill dem... I cared 'bout dem..."

 

Mike watched Remy closely; so many different emotions were flashing across the younger man's features that he was an open book to the cop. Whatever suspicions he'd had were gone now. He didn't believe for one moment that Remy was the killer. "What happened? I have a right to know."

 

"Julien happened..." Remy wiped away a stray tear and tried to compose himself. "He's a professional assassin and hates my guts... He's probably still 'round, watchin' you, watchin' me... dat's why I wanted to stop seein' you... don' want you dead."

 

Mike leaned back in his chair. "What's an empath?"

 

Remy swallowed hard. "I can read your feelings."

 

"My feelings?"

 

"Dat's why I picked you dat night... You felt warm and honest. You seemed worried 'bout de ot'er boys and I felt safe wit' you." Remy dropped the letter onto the table. "Didn' know Dave and you were family."

 

Mike nodded his head once, slipping the letter back into his pocket. "What does this Julien look like?"

 

"You can' go after him, Mike." Remy shivered. "He'd kill you."

 

"Don't worry about that. I know now that he might come after me, I'll be careful."

 

"You don' understand..." He couldn't tell Mike about the Assassins Guild. Mike would never believe him. "Dis has got to end now."

 

"Remy?" Mike frowned.

 

"I can' keep seein' you. I have to move on, disappear from your life 'fore Julien makes his move."

 

"No, we're going to my place and find a solution to our problem." Mike got to his feet and extended his hand. "Come on, kid."

 

Remy dropped some money on the table to pay for their drinks and followed Mike out of the coffee shop, never accepting Mike's hand.

 

///

 

"Make yourself comfortable." Mike collapsed onto the couch in the living room, realizing how cheap and small his apartment looked compared to Remy's penthouse.

 

Reluctantly, Remy sat down on the chair opposite the couch, keeping his distance. "Dis has to be adieu, Mike."

 

"Are you in love with me?" Mike leaned forward, locking eyes with Remy. "Because I'm in love with you."

 

"Oui, I'm in love wit' you too, mais it can' be..." Julien will kill him... Julien will kill him... Gotta move on...

 

"So you're dumping me?"

 

"Mike, understand! I don' want you to die! Julien will move in and kill you!" Remy was shaking with anger. Julien was ruining his life again. Maybe he should go after the bastard and make sure he was dead by burying his bo staff in the man's heart. How hard was it to kill one of the living dead? How powerful was the Elixir?

 

"I can't change your mind?"

 

"Non, sorry..."  Remy got to his feet, eager to leave. He wanted to put as much distance between them as possible to convince Julien that Mike meant nothing to him.

 

"Before you go..." Mike moved quickly, stepping up to Remy. Gently, he folded one arm around Remy's waist and pulled him close. "I need a memory..."

 

Remy held his breath as Mike claimed his lips. He moaned, squirmed in the embrace, parted his teeth and invited Mike's tongue in. Growing hard, he bucked against the other man. "Non, please, we can' do dis..."

 

"Why?" Mike asked, releasing Remy's lips.

 

"We can never see each ot'er 'gain..."

 

"I want to be with you, Remy... just this once... Please say yes..." Mike gently stroked the soft hair, traced Remy's jaw line and teased his bottom lip by running his tongue along it.

 

"I've never been wit' a man..." Old fear slipped back into his voice. "Can' be on de bottom..."

 

Yeah, Dave mentioned you’d been abused... "You can be on top, Remy."

 

"You'd let me do dat?" Remy felt boneless; only Mike was keeping him on his feet. "Don' know if I can get it up."

 

"You feel hard to me, handsome..." Mike teased, kneading Remy's erection through the fabric of his jeans. "Let me love you... just this once..."

 

Remy was lost, feeling Mike's love and affection. We could have worked out... Saddened, he fought back his tears. The fear was lurking, ready to stop him from taking the next step, but he was determined not to let the fear beat him this time.

 

"I'll be gentle... you'll be on top... we both need this, Remy..." Mike held his breath while Remy made up his mind. Would Remy accept his invitation? It would be Remy's first time.

 

Butterflies tickled his insides. I really want to make love jus' once in my life...  "Oui," he whispered, barely audible. "Make love to me?" It was time to conquer his fear; he couldn't let his past rule his life.

 

Mike's smile sparkled. "Let's move this to the bedroom... we'll be more comfortable there."

 

Entranced, Remy followed him. Mike's king size bed looked extremely comfortable. His hands shook as he began to unbutton his shirt.

 

"No, let me do that." Mike caught Remy's hand in his and kissed the knuckles one by one.

 

Remy was trying hard not to tremble as Mike slipped the shirt off his shoulders after unbuttoning it.

 

"You're beautiful, Remy," Mike complimented him. The poor kid looked like a deer caught in the headlights with no way out. "Say no and we'll stop, okay?" After Remy nodded his head, Mike slowly unzipped his jeans. He pulled Remy's briefs down as well when he removed the jeans.

 

Remy stood naked in front of him and Mike swallowed hard, finding that scars marred the beautiful body. He grabbed the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around Remy. "Why don't you lie down? I'll join you in a sec. I need to get some condoms and lube."

 

Remy laid down, but continued to tremble uncontrollably. He and Mike were going to make love... An ugly memory tried to lure him into a flashback, but he banished Hugo to the depths of his mind. I don' wanna think 'bout him! I'm wit' Mike now!

 

When Mike returned he had shed his clothes as well. He placed the condom and Glide on the nightstand and joined Remy in bed. "We're going to take our time, handsome..."

 

Remy clutched the sheet, biting his lower lip as Mike's hands began to explore his body. He jerked as Mike touched his right nipple, teasing it into hardness.

 

"Can I remove the sheet, Remy?" Mike concentrated on rolling the now hard nub of flesh between his fingertips. Slowly, his lips descended on Remy's and he kissed him lazily. Remy began to relax and his fist loosened enough for Mike to pull away the sheet. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, Remy?"

 

Shakily, Remy shook his head. "I'm scared... " he admitted.

 

"You don't have to be afraid. Trust yourself to me, Remy. I won't let you down." Mike waited for Remy's permission to continue his exploration, always keeping in mind that their first time would also be their last time. He wanted to make this as good as possible for Remy.

 

"Oui," Remy whispered his consent after probing Mike's mind again. The other man was sincere; he wasn't in any danger and it was safe to let go.

 

"Great..." Mike kissed Remy again, but this time he let his tongue travel down his lover's throat, still further down until it met a hard nipple, which he gently suckled.

 

"Oh, mon Dieu!"  Remy bucked, and tiny tremors of arousal pooled in his groin. He was hard... growing harder still.

 

"You can touch me too," Mike whispered and guided Remy's hand to rest on his back. The tenderness in Remy's caresses almost made him choke up. How badly had Remy been hurt in the past? Would he be able to deal with the memories or freak out on him? "I like it when you touch me, Remy."

 

Encouraged, Remy stroked Mike's broad back, marveling at the man's soft skin. Mike moved, placed his knees at either side of his lover's hips and Remy tensed again.

 

"It's okay, Remy... I just want to touch you... You'll be inside me later when we make love..."

 

Remy was fighting his tears. Mike's love and affection was pouring into his soul, finally pushing back his fear. He welcomed Mike's tongue as it explored his mouth and raised his hips in want as his lover's fingers first touched his erection. Unable to speak he tried to use his body to tell Mike he really wanted this, but he was still scared, scared of the pain and the memories.

 

"We both want this, Remy... no one is forcing us to do this. I want to make love with you and you want this as well... we both want this... everything's okay..." Mike felt Remy relax and his tongue left a wet trail down his lover's belly; his destination was Remy's straining erection. "Want to taste you..." Closing his lips around the tip of Remy's cock, he teased the slit with his tongue.

 

"Non!" Remy abruptly sat upright, pushing Mike away. "You don' have to do dat!"

 

Mike managed to remain calm and cupped Remy's chin in the palm of his hand. "Someone forced you to go down on them?"

 

"Oui..." Remy was too embarrassed to look at Mike and kept his eyes pinched shut.

 

"Remy, I want to do this... I want to taste you. Want to see you squirm with need, to know that I'm the one who's driving you out of your mind..."

 

Remy finally felt confident enough to open his eyes. Mike was being honest. "Bien... touch me..." Giving Mike permission to proceed was easier than he had thought. Although his erection had faltered, Mike's talented tongue made him hard again. He surrendered to the butterfly kisses, which Mike pressed against his belly, the soft caresses that set his thighs on fire, and he lost himself in the sensations.

 

Mike smiled, grabbed a condom and opened the small package. With practiced ease he slipped it down Remy's throbbing cock. "You're close, aren't you?"

 

Remy could only nod his head. His entire body was on fire, demanding release and he yelped softly as Mike took one of his heavy balls into his mouth and then suckled the other. "Please..."

 

"How do you want to do this?" Mike wanted Remy to call the shots, but seeing the dazed expression in the alien eyes he knew Remy was too close to think coherently. "Okay, I'll make this good for you..." He took hold of the lube and coated Remy's erection generally with the Glide. "Are you ready?"

 

Remy nodded his head. "Are you sure? You don' have to..."

 

"But I want to..." Mike leaned in closer, kissed Remy's eyes and then lowered himself on the hard rod of flesh.

 

Remy gasped, tensed and his eyes grew big. "Chèr... be careful..."

 

Mike smiled and took in another inch of Remy's cock and another... until his buttocks rested against Remy's skin. He moved a little, then rose and let Remy's cock almost slip out of his body. Remy cried out when he pushed down again. "Remy, are you okay?"

 

"Oui... Mon Dieu... you're tight... ain' I hurtin' you?"

 

"No, you feel great..." Mike impaled himself again and set up a rhythm, watching Remy constantly. The younger man was squirming and started to thrust upward. "Yes, that's it... forget about your fear... make love to me, Remy... you can do this... I want you to do this..."

 

Remy brought up his arms behind Mike's back and pulled him close enough to kiss his lips. "Mon coeur... never felt like dis 'fore... what are you doin' to me?" Unable to hold back any longer, he began to thrust more forcefully, watching Mike slide up and down his cock. "Mike, chèr, mon coeur..."

 

Mike chuckled and curled his fingers around his own cock. "Remy, you don't know what you do to me..." Pumping himself in the same rhythm as Remy was thrusting, he brought himself to orgasm, shooting his come across Remy's belly.

 

Remy cried out helplessly as Mike's inner muscle clenched around him. "Oh... oh... Mike... mon Dieu... mon coeur!" Climaxing, he held on to Mike, pulling him close to his chest, burying his face against his lover's shoulder.

 

Mike wrapped his arms around Remy, clinging to him as well. He shouldn't say the words, knowing this would never happen again, but he did. "I love you, Remy..."

 

"Je t'aime..." Remy replied, without giving it a second thought. Life was cruel... he had finally found love, but couldn't stay. Staying meant certain death for Mike... Julien was lurking somewhere, waiting for his chance to kill his friends and lovers.

 

Mike rolled Remy onto his side, until they lay facing each other after Remy's sated sex slipped from his body. "That was my first time on the bottom," he confessed. "Never thought I'd like it that much."

 

"You did dat for me?" Remy nuzzled the skin beneath Mike's collarbone, only now truly understanding what Mike had done for him. The man was a top and had never bottomed before!

 

"Let's spend the night together?" Mike asked hopefully.

 

"Oui," Remy sighed; his eyes were closing and he felt safe in Mike's arms. "Sleep."

 

Mike smiled, pulled up the comforter to warm their cooling bodies and followed his lover into sleep.

 

///

 

Remy freed himself of Mike's embrace and sneaked soundlessly out of bed. After gathering his clothes, he retreated into the living room to get dressed. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to live without Mike, but he didn't have a choice. Julien had already killed Benjamin and Dave and he couldn't take the risk that his nemesis would kill Mike as well.

 

After getting dressed, he picked up Mike's coat and uncovered the letter, which he wanted to take with him as a constant reminder of the people that he cared about. Maybe he should leave Mike something personal? He removed the small diamond stud from his right ear and placed it on the table. He was tempted to write Mike a goodbye note, but decided against it. It would only add to Mike's pain.

 

Soundlessly, he left Mike's apartment, never to return again.

 

///

 

Waking up, Mike knew at once that he was alone in the room. Remy was gone. Sighing, he sat upright and left the bed. Listlessly he walked into the living room and immediately noticed the diamond stud on the coffee table. His fingers closed around the stud and he decided that he needed to get his ear pierced so he could wear that stud for the rest of his life.

 

///

 

Remy had returned to his penthouse, changed into his armor and pushed all thoughts of Mike out of his mind. He had promised Emile to find the girl and it was time to keep his word. Closing the door behind him, he carried his personal possessions with him in a duffle bag. He wouldn't come back here, couldn't take the risk of running into Mike again.

 

///

 

His empathy easily picked up on the Shadowking's hounds and he took up pursuit. Seeing the white-haired girl running for her life, he realized he couldn't turn his back on her. He had to take out the hounds. Moving quickly, he ran toward her, extending his bo staff, charging it and attacked the hounds. A few minutes later he had disposed of them and stared at the little girl in front of him. The things he saw in her eyes and felt in her mind made him dizzy. She wasn't what she appeared to be. He felt an adult inside a child's mind. "Need help, petite?"

 

She studied him closely. "Maybe."

 

"Name's Gambit, petite," Remy said, bowing gallantly and kissing her hand.

 

"I'm Storm..." she introduced herself.

 

In the distance he felt Lian's presence. Hounds were still searching the area, closing in on them. "We'd betta leave, Stormy..."

 

"Yes, you're right," she agreed. "Let's leave this place."

 

///

 

"Take a breat', chère, we got air!" They struggled to the surface, spitting out the water that had kept them from breathing. 

 

"Nanny... Orphanmaker!" Storm was still panting, sucking oxygen into her abused lungs. She remembered now, remembered who she really was.

 

Nanny and the Orphanmaker had done their best to capture them, but had failed. Their plane was sinking rapidly behind them.

 

"Barely able to save our backsides, Stormy. Not even a ghost of a chance to try for dem. Dey don' get out on deir own, dey're still inside de ship. At de bottom of de swamp. Won' hear no sobs from me 'bout dat. Good riddance, I say." Looking at her, he smiled. He had really been worried about her.

 

"Thank you for the rescue." Storm accepted his help and allowed him to pull her along, away from the crash sight.

 

"Jus' doin' what comes natural, chère, same as you." How did I come to care dis much 'bout you, Stormy? You're de sister I never had. "We work pretty well toget'er. Be a shame to break up de team when we're jus' gettin' started." He simply wasn't ready yet to let her go and mourn the loss of another friend.

 

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm afraid there is more to this than just you and I." How was she going to tell him that she remembered who she really was?

 

"You're talkin' different. Voice sounds...older..."

 

"It is. I am... no longer quite the girl you befriended."

 

Remy stared deep into her eyes. Oui, 'ways knew dere was somet'in' old hidin' in your mind...

 

"Tell me, Gambit," Storm started, after making her decision to take Gambit to Westchester. He would make a great addition to the team. "Have you ever heard of a band of mutant heroes called the X-Men?"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The last fragment is from the X-Men comic, number 267, Early September. No copyright infringement is intended. I just thought it might be nice to finish with some canon. This is where "Eyes of a Child' ends, but the story will continue in a sequel, which I hope to start soon.

 

Email addy for FB morgana@avalon.cobweb.nl

 

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