Title: Gravity of Love

Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Gary/Juha and Jonne/Antti

Rating:
Summary: Juha joins NGT on their tour as a sound technician and ends up sharing a room with the newcomer, Gary.

Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm not making any money out of these stories!

Warning: Real Person Slash.

Beta read by DA, thanks darling!

All mistakes are mine.

Gravity of Love

Gary hoped that he was going to fit in. It was rather nerve wracking performing with Negative for the first time ever and, to make things even worse, the gig wasn’t in Finland, but abroad in Germany to be exact. He had absolutely no idea how the German fans were going to react to him and was worried on whether they would accept him onstage.

He knew that things would be odd. Sir Christus was no longer a part of the band and he had taken the guitarist’s place onstage. He had been contracted to be Negative’s extra live guitarist and Antti thought he stood a good chance of becoming a member of the band, but first he had to prove himself. Gary understood that the band wanted to get to know him first and find out how the fans were going to react to him. But those things put extra pressure on his shoulders and he hoped that he wouldn’t have a black out that evening. That would be the worst thing that could happen to him.

“You’re far away with your thoughts,” Antti remarked. They were standing at the reception desk of the hotel while Tommi checked them and some of the crew in.

Gary shrugged. “You know what I’m like. I worry.”

Antti nodded. He had known Gary for years and knew the other man well enough to understand his nervousness. Not that he could blame him – the Negative fans might be hard to convince that Gary was a good guitarist and would fit in. Sir Christus still had a huge following and Gary would be up against that legacy that evening. “They’ll like you, don’t worry.”

“That’s easy for you to say!” Gary put up the hood of his sweater and looked about the lobby. Jonne and Lauri were nearby whispering, probably discussing the next day’s show. Haiwe and Ville had already received their key card and were hauling their stuff into the elevator. He didn’t know the other Flinch guys that well, but hoped that he could befriend them. His gaze drifted off to Nakki and Jay. He liked them too – he liked all of Negative's members, but still felt intimidated.

Antti squeezed his shoulder and Gary glanced gratefully at his friend. He wouldn’t have joined Negative for these gigs if it hadn’t been for Antti’s reassurance that everything would work out just fine. He prayed silently that he would end up sharing rooms with Antti since he already knew the guy.

Tommi turned around, handed out the card keys, and walked over to Gary. “Is it okay if you share with Juha?”

Gary blinked. Who the fuck was Juha?

Tommi laughed. “Our new sound guy. He’s probably still securing our equipment. Jonne, you’re sharing with Antti.”

Gary shrugged. “Sure, I don’t mind.” He didn’t know the guy though and glanced at Antti pleadingly.

Antti however merely grinned. “He’s a redhead too. You’ll like him!” He had seen Juha a few times and liked the guy. He was sure Gary and Juha would get along. “He’s new too, so…”

Gary caught on as to why Tommi had put him in the same room with Juha. He accepted the card which Tommi handed him and headed for the elevator. “So what’s the schedule?” he asked Tommi. He didn’t want to screw up on his first gig.

“We’ll spend a quiet evening at the hotel. Tomorrow I will take the band to some photo shoots and if you want, you can join Arska and Juha at the venue. We’ll join you later.”

Gary nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being excluded from the promotional work, but he understood why Tommi was doing it. Gary simply wasn’t a band member yet. It made him feel odd though.

They arrived in their corridor and one by one disappeared into their rooms. Gary was the last one to open the door and haul his stuff inside after an encouraging smile from Antti. Gary moved over to one of the beds, sat down, and let himself fall back. Staring at the ceiling, he wondered if he had done the right thing by joining Negative for their gigs.

~~~

Juha walked alongside Arska down the corridor in search of the correct room number. He had hoped to share with the other man, but apparently Tommi had decided differently. “Everything should be ready for tomorrow.” They had moved the equipment to the venue and had already checked all of the settings. All they needed to do the next day was tune the instruments one last time and synchronize everything.

Arska nodded, pleased. He had been asking for back-up for some time and Tommi had finally relented and hired a sound technician. In the past, some of the guys he had worked with had been clueless, so it was nice to have a capable person at his side for a change. “We’ll drive to the venue around noon and get everything ready for the final check.” He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten everything done so quickly. “Try to get some sleep, Juha, and if you can’t, then look for the bar. One of us will be there at any rate.” Arska had reached his room and knocked on the door. A moment later, Tommi opened it and Arska entered.

“Did everything work out?” Tommi asked while first glancing at Arska and then at Juha.

Arska nodded. “We got everything done.”

“Then we should get some rest! Juha, we’ll see you in the morning!” Tommi smiled at the newest addition of his crew and then closed the door.

Which left Juha standing in the hall on his own. Looking at the note which he had gotten from the receptionist, he searched for his room. He would be sharing with the other new guy, Gary, and they hadn’t met before. He hoped that they wouldn’t bash their heads in or that Gary wasn’t the typical example of a rock musician doing drugs and losing it all the time.

Knocking on the door, Juha waited impatiently. He could do with a shower and a clean set of clothes. Hauling all that equipment about had made him sweat and it was much warmer there in Germany than in Finland. The door suddenly opened and a head with black, messy hair peeked around the corner. There were still some make-up smudges on the face, which made the other man look rather muddled. Juha couldn’t help but grin. “Hello, I’m Juha!”

Gary nodded and stepped aside. He had obviously just taken a shower. His damp hair was in disarray and his eyeliner had messed up his face too. “I’m Tuomas, but everyone calls me Gary.”

Juha stepped aside and noticed that Gary‘s clothes were already occupying one bed. Had the guitarist removed everything from his suitcase and spread it out on the bed? He was the exact opposite, removing only those things from his bag that he really needed. “So Tommi decided that the new guys have to share?”

Gary nodded. “Just tell me when I annoy you, alright? I have some nasty habits!”

Juha sat down on his bed, pulled his bag closer to him, and opened it. While searching for a T-shirt and jeans, he looked at Gary with surprise. “Don’t worry. I’m easy to get along with!” There was an odd look in Gary’s eyes and Juha couldn’t quite identify it. Nervousness...fear of failure maybe? Juha felt sympathy for the other man. When he had joined Reflexion, he had been the new guy too and later with For My Pain, he had definitely felt like the odd man out considering his tender age and lack of experience. The other members of that band had made him feel welcome though and he had quickly gotten along with them. Gary’s situation was different though. “Is it okay if I take a quick shower? Or do you still have stuff to do in the bathroom?”

“No, go along… I can do my stuff later.” Gary was dressed in a baggy shirt and sweat pants as he started to clean away the mess upon his bed. Once he was ready, he pushed down the covers and stretched out on it. “It’s hot in here!”

“It’s different from home!” Juha nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. Sure, it was odd having to share with someone he didn’t know, but he had a feeling that Gary and he would get along just fine.

~~~

Thirty minutes later, Juha joined Gary in the bedroom again. He put his stuff away and sat on the bed with his back resting against the headboard. “This is not the way I imagined I would spend my first evening on tour with Negative! I expected some partying!”

Gary, who had felt gloomy before, smiled as well. “You’re right about that, but I think Tommi is running such a strict regimen because he’s nervous about the gig.”

“The gig or the way the audience will respond to seeing the band without their old guitarist?” Juha opened some bottled water and gulped down some of it.

Gary turned onto his left side so he could look at Juha and the worry returned to his face. “I don’t know either how the gig will go. I know the songs...I know my part...but…will the audience accept me? I’m so damn nervous!”

Looking into Gary’s blue eyes, Juha wished he could help. “You’ll feel better after you play the first show. The gig is almost sold out, so...they’re giving you a chance. The fans aren’t boycotting the gig.”

Gary sighed and kicked the covers to the ground. It was much too hot in the room...or was it just his nerves making him feel like that? “You’re new to the band too.”

“I’m just the sound technician! I’m not playing onstage with Negative!” Juha took another drink and smiled at Gary. “But trust me...I know what it’s like to be the new guy.”

“In a band too?” Gary eyed the redhead closely. Something about Juha struck him as familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Juha’s red hair streaked with black attracted attention and the green eyes struck him as remarkably intelligent. The facial features seemed familiar, but… “I feel like I should know you!”

Juha blushed a little bit. “Well, I’m also in a band – two actually, although one of them is quite inactive because most of the members are touring with their own band.”

Gary blinked. “What’s your full name?”

“Juha Kylmänen,” Juha said and winked. “Does that help?”

“Actually, it does…” Gary sat upright and eyed Juha in detail. “Reflexion,” he said eventually. “I should have recognized you sooner!” But Juha’s appearance had made that difficult. When the redhead had entered the room, his hair had been tied back in a pony tail and the glasses had thrown him off too. “I know about your band! I have both of your albums at home!”

Juha inclined his head gracefully. “It’s always nice to meet a fan,” he said and grinned wickedly.

The ice was finally broken and Gary laughed, feeling amused and accepted with their bantering. “And the other band you’re referring to is For My Pain, of course.” For My Pain was a project that had been started by some of the most talented and famous musicians in Finland. “I possess that album too.”

Juha’s grin grew wider. “You’re not a groupie who is going to stalk me, are you?”

Gary laughed loudly. “No, I have to disappoint you! I’m not! But I own a little record company called Scandal Music Company and I always keep an eye open for talent! I’ve gotten to know what’s happening in the business!”

Juha finished his water and put the bottle away before positioning his pillow against the headboard. Turning onto his side as well, he watched Gary. He was relieved that they were getting along so well. Gary struck him as an interesting person and they had already uncovered some subjects they could talk about. “Hey, Reflexion doesn’t have a Finnish label at the moment, so if you’re interested…”

“I’ll consider it!” Gary looked equally relieved that they were getting along.

~~~

Jonne searched his bag and came up with the toiletries he was looking for. A look into the bathroom showed that Antti was busy with his dreads and that meant the bathroom would be occupied for at least another hour. He wanted to shower now though! “Antti, can’t you hurry up?” Leaning against the doorway, he watched his friend.

“Patience is a virtue,” Antti said, using one of his favorite quotes as he continued in the same pace. “You can shower, you know. I’m not keeping you! It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before!”

Jonne knew that. They went back years. He had seen Antti drunk, hung over, sick and… They didn’t have any secrets for each other anymore, which was also impossible when on tour. They lived in such close proximity that everyone got to know each other rather intimately. “You’re right…” Jonne collected some towels, took his toiletries to the shower cabin, and removed his clothes. He had never felt shy around Antti before and there was no reason to start now. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and a “Hey, you’re looking good,” was whispered into his ear. A bit surprised, Jonne looked up.

Antti grinned naughtily and pressed a kiss onto Jonne’s shoulder. “Come on, we did stuff like this before!”

Yes, Antti was right about that, but they had been much younger when they had fooled around and Jonne had always been careful not to push it to the limit. Sure, they had touched, kissed, and cuddled, but Jonne had never taken it further than that. “Antti, what are you up to?”

“You’re so depressed lately.” Antti wrapped Jonne in an embrace and moved until he stood in front of the blond. “We did the right thing. We had to let Chris go. You know that. We both do.”

Jonne sighed and then nodded once. He still had a hard time accepting that everything had changed though. They hadn’t fought – they had discussed everything and in the end, they had decided that it was best for the band if Chris and Negative went separate ways. But being there without Chris felt odd. “I know that, but still...we’re taking a huge risk. What if the fans can’t accept it?”

“They bought tickets for tomorrow’s show, didn’t they?” Antti rested his forehead against Jonne’s. “Give it a chance. Gary fits in, you know that.” They had spent time with their new guitarist and, although they were still getting to know each other, Antti seemed certain that they would work out. “Let’s raise some hell tomorrow and kick their asses!”

Jonne smiled. It was impossible to stay gloomy around Antti. “You’re right. Thanks!” He placed a kiss on Antti’s brow and freed himself of the embrace. “I really need to shower.”

“Then go ahead. I’m going to find a movie we can watch later!” Antti finished sorting out his dreads and went into the bedroom, giving Jonne his precious privacy.

~~~

Forty minutes later, Jonne headed for the bed dressed in nothing but his favorite pair of white boxers. It was too hot to wear more clothes than that and had he been at home, he would have slept naked. But not with Antti around – one never knew what the redhead was up to!

“What are you watching?” Jonne glanced at the screen and saw someone chasing a young woman in a garage. “Not another horror movie!” He hated those, but unfortunately for him, Antti loved them.

“House of Wax is really good! Vincent is going to slaughter Paris Hilton in a sec. You’ve got to see this!” Antti turned up the volume and his eyes gleamed with excitement.

Jonne however cringed each time the music turned dramatic. “Antti, can’t we…” He had wanted to ask Antti if they could watch something else, but at that moment Paris Hilton got speared in the head and nailed to the floor. Swallowing hard, Jonne fought his nausea. “How can you watch such crap?”

“Because it’s cool! Look, they‘re filming it from a different angle! See the blood?”

Jonne turned onto his side away from the screen and pulled the sheet over his head. He wasn’t going to watch any of that. He didn’t want any nightmares!

“Oh come on, Jonne! It’s only a movie!” Antti shook his head at his friend’s reaction. Antti reached for the remote control and took it with him as he soundlessly made his way over to Jonne’s bed.

Jonne raised an eyebrow in surprise when the bed dipped. A moment later, it became clear that Antti hadn’t just sat down, but was lying down next to him. “What do you think you’re doing? This is my bed!” Turning around, he looked at the bass player. A cheeky grin on his friend's face had him smiling once more.

“I just want to comfort you. I don’t want you to be scared or angry with me because I picked that movie.” Sneakily, Antti turned up the volume just when the killer murdered another victim.

“Antti! Damn it!” Jonne elbowed Antti hard. “You did that on purpose!”

“Of course I did!” Antti moved closer and wrapped an arm around Jonne. “Do you remember cuddling up in the past?” He switched off the television.

Jonne nodded and sighed contentedly. Of course he did. Back in the old days, they hadn’t always had enough money for hotel rooms and had ended up sharing beds as well. “In some ways it feels like we’re starting all over again,” he said and looked Antti in the eye.

“Is that a bad thing?” Antti stroked Jonne’s blond hair and smiled encouragingly. He had gotten along with Jonne right from the start and a deep friendship had formed between them. Sometimes Antti wondered if it wasn’t more than just friendship, but he had decided long ago never to cross that line to find out. They were friends – that had to do.

“I’m not sure yet…” Jonne inched closer and wrapped his arms around Antti in turn. Resting his head against his friend’s shoulder, he closed his eyes. “We will know what we’re up against tomorrow. I just hope they won’t give Gary a hard time. I mean, I can deal with them being nasty, but Gary doesn’t deserve that. He’s a nice guy and…”

Antti nodded. “Yes, he is.” Jonne tensed against him and Antti wondered why. “Do you have second thoughts about asking him?”

“No, I don’t. It’s just weird being here with him instead of Chris.” Jonne considered his next words carefully. “You were right to recommend him. Gary really is a nice guy. He’s a balanced, mature, and easy-going person. He’s exactly what the band needs.”

Antti continued to watch Jonne. Did the blond really think he could fool him? “And Gary is exactly what you need, Jonne?” Jonne’s head jerked up and those blue eyes stared at him in surprise. “Jonne, I know what you’re like! I know what you get like when you’re avoiding answering me! You really like Gary and that’s fine! You need some chemistry onstage!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jonne did his best to hide his shock. Antti hadn’t caught on, had he? It was true though – he had really taken a liking to Gary. It was great to have someone in the band that had a work attitude just like him. Gary was a professional and Jonne appreciated that. He also knew that he had to be careful since he had already started to lean on Gary whenever he needed help with decisions.

“Don’t worry about it,” Antti said and brushed some blond strands away from Jonne’s face. “I want you to be happy.”

Confused, Jonne eyed Antti closely. “What are you hinting at?”

“Nothing at all. Hey, we should try to get some sleep…or do you want me to put the movie back on?” Antti knew how to manipulate Jonne when he wanted to.

Jonne swallowed the remark he wanted to make and sighed. Sometimes Antti was plain mean! Yes, he could leave the bed, go onto the balcony, or harass Lauri, but he was comfortable in Antti’s arms and didn’t want to move. “I’m not sure I can sleep yet.”

“I can tell you a bedtime story,” Antti offered.

“No thanks. Your bedtime stories are always bloody and gross.” Jonne pressed against Antti and closed his eyes again. “Do you think there will be problems tomorrow?”

Antti rubbed Jonne’s back and enjoyed the intimacy. He had missed it. Over the years, things had changed and a distance had grown between them. “I honestly don’t think so. Gary knows his parts, we’re ready to rock the stage, and the gig’s almost sold out. Those are good conditions for a gig!”

Jonne opened his eyes again and looked into Antti’s for a long moment. “You’re a great friend, Antti. You’re always so optimistic. In that way you’re my opposite.”

Antti accepted the compliment for what it was and smiled. “You just need your ass kicked once in a while.”

Closing his eyes again, Jonne drew in a deep breath and concentrated on having his friend so close. “I missed this.”

“So did I.” Antti continued to stroke Jonne’s back and watched the blond drift off into sleep. He was grateful that Tommi had assigned them the same room. Jonne often grew depressed though he hid it well by working all the time and pushing himself to the limit. Antti had learned to read his friend’s moods through the years. “Everything will be fine,” he whispered and closed his eyes too. “We’ll rock Berlin, I promise.”

~~~

The next morning, Gary woke to soft humming. He felt confused at first as he opened his eyes and found Juha sitting on his bed cross-legged, humming to some music playing on his headphones. The hair was down, the glasses were gone, and Juha looked like a different person sitting there. Gary smiled and watched the redhead tap his hand against his knee. Since Juha’s eyes were closed, the redhead had no idea that he was being watched.

Gary envied the younger man his peace of mind. It was obvious that Juha didn’t worry much and enjoyed simply being there, even if it was only as a sound technician instead of a performing artist.

“Hey, how long have you been watching me?” Juha had opened his eyes and looked at Gary in amusement.

“Not long. You’re cheerful at this early hour.”

“Ah, now that you’re awake I can get up. I’ll be quick to shower and then we should join the others for breakfast. Arska sent me a message.” Juha pointed at his cell phone. “I need to be there in forty minutes.” Juha got to his feet and disappeared into the bathroom.

Gary turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. That day was going to be hard on him. The band would leave for promotional work and he could either stay at the hotel or go to the venue already. Staying on his own sounded way worse and he reckoned Juha wouldn’t mind if he tagged along.

Juha returned ten minutes later. He had dressed, forced his hair into a ponytail, and put his glasses back on. Gary wouldn’t have recognized the front man of Reflexion and For My Pain the way Juha looked now.

“Bathroom’s free!” Juha started to stuff his belongings into his bag and busied himself in that way.

Gary slouched into the bathroom, lacking motivation to start the day.

~~~

Jonne looked about and realized that his team was complete, except for Gary and the new sound technician. Lauri was seated next to him and elbowed him in the side, which got him an annoyed look from Jonne. “What?”

“Stop being so damn nervous and eat breakfast.” Lauri was having a hard time acting like nothing was wrong himself, but he managed to pull it off. Thankfully Nakki and Jay’s presence had a calming effect on him. “I don’t want you to faint because you didn’t eat anything.”

Jonne smiled warmly at Lauri. “That’s sweet.” Lauri and he had grown closer during the recording of their new album, Karma Killer, and he had realized that they had more in common than he had thought. They complimented each other as song writers, and since they were both willing to compromise on songs, they worked well together.

Jonne started eating and looked up from his plate when Gary entered. The new sound technician sat down next to Arska while Gary took his seat between Antti and Jonne. “Morning,” Jonne said as cheerfully as he could. “Did you sleep well?”

“Not really…” Gary reached for the coffee and sipped from it. “You look rested though.”

Jonne was about to reply when Antti cut him short. “We cuddled!”

Jonne sighed and rolled his eyes. “Antti, not everyone needs to know that.”

“Why not? I think it’s cute,” Nakki remarked and grabbed another bun. Casting a look at Lauri and Jay, he said, “What do you think? Should we cuddle tonight too?”

“No offense,” Jay remarked. “But I’d rather cuddle with my girlfriend!”

The bantering made Gary relax and when Juha smiled knowingly at him, he even managed to smile back.

“So what are you going to do while we have this promotional stuff going on?” Antti asked and glanced inquisitively at Gary.

“I think I’ll join Juha and Arska at the venue… I don’t feel like hanging out here on my own.”

Antti nodded. “It won’t be long. We only have some photo shoots and interviews and then we’ll join you guys. Or you can join Ville and the guys. They’re going to check out the city.”

Gary however shook his head. “No thanks, I’ll hang out with Juha instead.”

Antti felt intrigued. This was the second time Gary mentioned the new sound technician. Glancing at the redhead, he didn’t see anything that made Juha stand out, except for the hair color perhaps and he wondered why Gary felt so comfortable around the guy after only meeting him the other night.

TBC

Part 2

“I don’t know about you two, but I’m hungry!” Arska rubbed his stomach, which had started to growl. “Want to get something to eat?” He had seen a small Italian restaurant when they had driven to Columbia Club. “We can sneak out the back. No one will see us – not even those mad fans!”

Juha grinned at that. “Yes, quite mad to be sitting out there all day!”

Gary wasn’t sure what to think of the devotion the fans were displaying. At least there had been no sign of angry fans or “Gary go home” signs. “I could eat something too.” Nothing major, but he needed a bite.

“Let’s go. We’re done here at any rate.” Arska checked their equipment one last time then shut everything down and walked toward the exit with Juha and Gary. The new guitarist had been a pleasant surprise. Gary was down to earth, intelligent, friendly, and to Arska’s surprise, rather shy. He wondered how Gary would do onstage that night. During the sound check he had already noticed that Gary was an excellent guitarist and, as far as he was concerned, Negative had made a good decision with Gary.

“Are you sure no one is going to see us?” From where he was standing, Gary had a good view of the entrance to the club. About forty fans had gathered there and he wasn’t confident enough to go out there without at least Jonne or Antti at his side.

“I’m sure!” Arska took Gary’s arm and pulled him along. They slipped out through the backdoor and walked down the street. Had he attempted doing this with Chris, they would have ended up being chased after, but no one noticed them this time. “See?”

Juha looked about and greedily took in his surroundings. “I’ve never been in Berlin before.”

Arska shrugged. “After a while all cities look the same.”

Gary pulled up his hood and hid in the folds just to be sure no one recognized him. He felt intimidated and not even Arska’s reassurance helped.

“There it is!” Arska pointed the small restaurant out to them. “Want to sit outside? The weather is great and once we get home, it’ll be cold again!”

Gary was about to object, but Juha glanced at him encouragingly so he relented. The three of them settled down and ordered their drinks. Gary ordered some water and Juha and Arska also chose non-alcoholic drinks. The last thing he wanted was to be onstage drunk. He wouldn’t be able to play at all. He needed a clear head.

“Everything is written in…a strange language….” Juha whispered, a bit distressed.

“We’re in Germany...everything is in German, of course!” Arska laughed.

“Hah! I found something I like! Pasta Pesto!” Gary felt victorious. “I’ll take that.”

Juha had found something he recognized too. Good thing lasagna was also lasagna in German. “My favorite food.”

Arska volunteered to place the order in his broken German. He knew a few words that was it, but he also knew he would get far with the ‘danke schön,’ he had learned from Antti. It looked like the waitress understood what he wanted and Arska made himself comfortable on his chair. “I’d love to take this weather back home with me!”

Gary stared into his glass filled with water which the waitress had just brought and felt nervous all over again. It had started when he had seen those fans outside.

Arska tried to cheer Gary up. “They’ll love you. Just wait and see.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Gary sighed. “I just wish the gig was over and done with already.”

“Once you’re onstage, you won’t want it to end!” Juha said.

Arska nodded toward Gary. “You’ll love it.” He turned to address Juha. “The way you said that…” Gary flashed a grin at Arska, who wondered what he had missed. He welcomed the naughty grin on Gary’s face and knew the fans would fall for it the moment the guitarist flashed it onstage.

Juha shook his head. “You’re bursting with the desire to tell him, aren’t you?” he asked Gary.

Gary blushed and turned shy again. “I’m *not* a groupie,” he joked before Juha could remark something similar.

“Just keep denying it!” Juha shook his head in amusement.

“Will someone tell me what the hell you’re talking about?” Arska felt like bashing their heads together. That would teach them!

“Reflexion,” Gary whispered conspiratorially. “For My Pain… Juha Kylmänen.”

At first, Arska had no idea what Gary was trying to tell him, but then he put the pieces of the puzzle together and whispered a long, “Aaaaah.” Now he recognized the front man. Why hadn’t he made the connection right away? “I’ve got a very special sound technician then!”

“Well, both bands make too little money for me to live off of, so I need a day job.” Juha whispered a thank you to the waitress as she put his dish down and eyed his lasagna hungrily.

“Too bad,” Arska replied and gazed at his pizza hungrily. “Both bands make great music.”

“Thanks,” Juha said and smiled at Arska. “If you ever want to see us live, just tell me. I’ll get you tickets.”

Arska inclined his head and whispered, “That would be cool.”

Gary’s pasta also arrived and he managed to eat half of it. It tasted alright, but he was too nervous to truly enjoy the flavors. “When do you expect the rest to join us?”

Arska checked the time on his wrist watch. “Another thirty at the least. They’re never early, but since Tommi is with them, they won’t be much too late.” Arska had managed to eat his pizza and now rubbed his belly. “Now I am too stuffed to move!”

Juha pushed his plate aside and smiled happily. “I’m so happy I’m just the sound technician tonight. I couldn’t go onstage right now.”

“But I have to!”

“Flinch and The Winyls are up first, so you have time to digest the pasta!” Arska mused. “And maybe seeing the audience cheering those bands will reassure you.”

“Or they will cheer them on and start booing when I get onstage. I wish I could go out there last, but no…” He would have to stand there and wait for Lauri and Jonne to join them so they could start the gig. “Does security check fans for stuff they can throw onstage? Like eggs and tomatoes?”

“Don’t be so pessimistic!” Arska ordered and paid for their dinner. He ignored Juha and Gary’s attempts at paying their share. “It’s my treat today! You two just do your job tonight!”

~~~

Antti sought out Gary the moment they arrived at Columbia Club. He had the feeling Gary needed a friend and was therefore surprised when he found the new sound technician backstage as well, playing one of Gary’s guitars. Stunned, Antti realized that Juha knew what he was doing and the melodies leaving the strings sounded interesting.

Juha raised his gaze and smiled at Antti. “Gary’s in the bathroom.”

Antti nodded absentmindedly and decided against disturbing his friend. Instead, he sat down opposite Juha and watched the long, nimble fingers move across the strings. It was obvious that he was dealing with a musician – the easy way those fingers moved told him so. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s nervous, which isn’t surprising, but he’ll make it.” Juha placed the guitar aside. “I should get back and run a last check.” Juha got to his feet and was about to leave the room when distressing sounds from the bathroom reached him.

Antti sighed deeply. “I know that sound… He’s throwing up.” He had lost count of the times he had seen Jonne defeated by stage fright and that reminded him that he should check on their vocalist in a bit, but first he wanted to check on Gary. Antti found that Juha had acted faster and was already on his way into the bathroom. Surprised, Antti followed Juha, but remained near the doorway and didn’t get involved.

Juha went over to where Gary was hunched over the sink and placed an arm around him. “Hey, don’t be nervous. Everything will be great!” He rubbed Gary’s back soothingly and tried to catch the other man’s gaze. “There’s no need to do this to yourself.”

Gary fought the remaining nausea and managed to calm down with Juha’s help. “This never happened before!” He leaned against Juha and when he felt Antti’s gaze upon him, he looked at his friend. “I just want it over with.”

Antti nodded and realized that Juha had everything under control, so he decided to check on Jonne, hoping the singer wasn’t having similar problems.

~~~

Jonne was fighting his stage fright more successfully than Gary, but still he felt nervous and remained near the bathroom. He felt Lauri’s gaze on him and he gazed reassuringly at his friend, but he didn’t feel that great to be honest.

“You’ll do fine!” Ville shook his head at Jonne’s nervousness. He had just gotten offstage and hugged his brother close. “I’m going to take a quick shower and then I’ll hold your hand!”

Jonne grabbed a pillow from the couch and swatted Ville with it. “Get out!”

Ville laughed warmly and headed for his dressing room, leaving Jonne just like his brother had wanted. He would be back later though. Just when he left the room, Antti stepped inside. “Keep an eye on him, will you?”

Antti knew at once what Ville meant. “Sure, I will,” he said and headed for Jonne, who was pacing the room. “Everything okay?” he asked as he placed his hands on Jonne’s shoulders and turned him around so they were eye to eye.

Jonne drew in a deep breath and fought his nervousness. “The crowd seems nice...at least they cheered Flinch on!”

“Gary and you need to get over this fear! They want us here! They want Negative! They want to see us play, hear you sing, and they want to meet Gary! Damn, there’s no reason why you should be so insecure!”

Jonne caught on fast. “Gary too?”

“He was throwing up when I left.”

“You left him alone?”

“Juha was there so he wasn’t alone! I wouldn’t leave Gary alone in that condition and you know it.”

“Juha? The sound guy?” Jonne cocked his head and his eyes narrowed. “Maybe we should check on Gary.”

Antti wondered why Jonne felt that was necessary all of a sudden. Did he see jealousy in his friend’s eyes? He wanted to ask Jonne about it, but realized that they weren’t alone. Lauri was there as well. It had to wait until later. “Sure, we can do that, but I think Juha has it under control.”

“I want to see for myself.” Jonne forgot about his nervousness and marched out of the room, dragging Antti along with him since the redhead’s hand was still resting on his shoulder.

“Jonne, wait for me!” Antti hurried to catch up with Jonne. In a way, he felt hurt that Jonne cared that much about Gary. He wanted Jonne to care like that about him!

~~~

“Can I leave you alone now? The Winyls are about to hit the stage and I really have to be there.” Juha had stayed with Gary until the guitarist had calmed down before getting up. “I will check with you before you go onstage, alright? Just remember to breathe and don’t get too riled up!”

“Thanks,” Gary whispered and glanced gratefully at Juha. The redhead’s presence had a calming effect on him and he had needed that. “I owe you.”

“Buy me some beer after your gig, okay?” Juha patted Gary’s shoulder one more time and then headed for the doorway. To his relief, he found Antti and Jonne standing there. “He’s way too nervous,” he whispered. “Try to calm him down.”

Antti nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

Jonne barely looked at Juha though and wanted him gone. He hurried over to Gary’s side and sat down on the couch next to him. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Antti stood back and a stabbing pain swept through his heart. He liked Gary a lot since they had been friends for years, but now it seemed Jonne was attracted to the guitarist and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He wanted Jonne to be happy, but he had always hoped Jonne would be happy with him! He should stop thinking like that since he would only end up hurt that way.

Gary managed a nod. “Juha’s presence helped.”

Jonne’s expression grew as hard as steel. “I’ll stay with you. That way we can deal with our nervousness together.”

Antti didn’t bother to wait for Gary’s reply. He turned around and left the room, needing some fresh air and a smoke.

~~~

Juha returned to his spot and checked the sound settings one last time. The Winyls appeared and Juha wished their gig would end quickly because then he could go backstage and check on Gary. Arska moved closer and Juha shrugged. “Let’s hope he can control it.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Arska assured Juha and moved backstage again.

Juha was relieved when the Winyls finally ended their gig and once everything was set for Negative’s show, slipped backstage too.

~~~

Jonne didn’t want to leave, but he had to warm up his voice. “I’ll see you backstage. Don’t get riled up again.”

Gary nodded and was actually relieved that Jonne was going away. The blond meant well, but Jonne was worried and that made him nervous again. “Sure…” Gary threw back his head once Jonne had left and drew in a series of deep breaths, just like Juha had told him to do whenever his panic started to rise again. The door opened again and he hoped it wasn’t Jonne. The blond only fed his nervousness. Relieved, he watched Juha step inside.

Juha noticed the relief and sat down next to Gary. “They’re mad – the crowd, I mean. They’re ready for Negative and I doubt anyone will throw a rotten egg at you.” Juha squeezed the other man’s shoulder. “Some of them were already chanting your name, cheering you on.”

“Are you sure about that?” Gary perked up at that. “Are there actually some people standing on the left?” He had been afraid that he would be staring at a huge gap for the entire evening.

“There’s no gap. They want to see you onstage and if I’m not mistaken you already have some groupies. They ran to the left the moment they entered the club.”

Juha’s words reassured Gary and gave him hope. “Maybe they’ll like me.”

“Of course they will. Come on, it’s time for you to get ready. Brush those teeth, change your clothes, and get out there!”

Gary frowned. “Change my clothes?”

“No offense to what you’re wearing but when you threw up, you…” Juha pointed at a spot on Gary’s shirt.

“Ah yes, of course…” Gary blushed in embarrassment and retrieved his bag. He removed a sweater and slipped into it. “Better?”

Juha shook his head. “You picked that one because it has a hood you can put up!”

Gary admitted defeat. “You’re right…”

“You’ll sweat like mad wearing that but if it makes you feel safe…” Juha left his sentence unfinished. “I need to get back, but in case something goes wrong, I’ll notice it and I’ll be in your ear all evening if you want me.”

The wicked grin Juha flashed him made Gary smile in turn. “That’s a reassuring thought.” Gary brushed his teeth, checked his appearance one last time, and then fell into step next to Juha. “Thanks for...you know...for staying close and…”

Juha waved the words away. “Ah, we new guys need to stick together. You go out there and rock the stage, alright?”

Gary nodded and glanced gratefully at Juha a last time. He watched the redhead disappear into the crowd and then moved closer to Antti. He felt Jonne’s gaze upon him continuously and smiled bravely at the blond. “I’m fine,” he said, trying to assure the vocalist. “I’ll manage.”

Antti wrapped an arm around him and squeezed him close. “We’ll rock them!”

The intro started and Gary’s nervousness returned, but this time, he controlled it. Jay, Nakki, and Antti stepped onto the stage and then he joined them. Finally he was going to face the crowd and find out if they would give him a chance or not.

Gary felt like he was in a trance when he finally marched out there. Girls were pressed against the barricades and they were cheering him on. Feeling shy, he didn’t even manage to smile at them. He just wanted Lauri and Jonne to join them so that they could start playing.

Those seconds were the longest of his life. He couldn’t really see much of the audience because of the lighting and he panicked again. If this took much longer then…

“You’re doing fine. Now don’t panic.”

Gary’s eyes widened. That was Juha’s voice in his headset. He tried to find the redhead in the crowd, but failed. Juha’s voice had distracted him from his fears however and suddenly Lauri and Jonne were onstage as well and they kicked into their first song.

~~~

Arska checked with Juha sometime during the gig. The way he was grinning showed how much he enjoyed the show. “Everything’s fine.”

Juha nodded. “They even cheered him on.”

Arska moved backstage again and Juha focused his attention once more on Gary. It was obvious that the guitarist didn’t feel very confident yet as he stayed close to Antti all the time. But Juha was sure that would change over time.

During the entire concert, he continued to whisper short reassurances to Gary and he was happy to see the guitarist finally smile. “You can do this…” Juha kept a close eye on Gary the entire time and when the gig ended, the audience went wild. “I told you that you were worried about nothing.”

Still onstage, Gary nodded in Juha’s direction. Antti took his hand and pulled him closer so that they could bow to the audience. In the end, the gig had been finished much faster than he had thought and the fans had turned out to be really loyal to the band. Bowing repeatedly, Gary felt relieved and free. He had made it through Negative’s first gig.

~~~

“We did it! You did it! You were great!”

Gary suddenly had his arms full of Jonne, who had jumped him the moment they got offstage. The singer was hugging him like mad and even pressed a kiss on his cheek. Gary felt equally relieved but would never have jumped Jonne like that. “Yes, the gig was great!”

Antti watched them with mixed feelings. He was happy for Gary that the gig had gone well, but would have loved for Jonne to jump him instead. Instead, he turned to Ville and grinned at the younger Liimatainen. “What are you up to?”

“We’re going to check out this place called Wild At Heart! Are you coming along?”

Antti didn’t want to go, but didn’t want to have to watch Jonne be all over Gary either. Before he could answer, Jonne told Ville, “Enjoy yourself! I’m going back to the hotel and have a drink there!”

Antti wanted to tell Ville that he was tagging along after all, but didn’t get a chance when Gary spoke up.

“I’m going back to my hotel room too. I’m beat.”

Antti frowned. What the hell? He really had to talk faster if he wanted to say anything! But maybe it was a good thing that he hadn’t been able to say anything yet because he had changed his mind when Gary had decided to head for the hotel as well. He didn’t really want Jonne to be alone with their new guitarist. “I’m heading back too!”

Ville and the rest of the Flinch members headed into the city while Negative readied themselves to return to the hotel.

Jonne watched Gary closely when the guitarist returned to the dressing room to collect his stuff and was about to follow when Lauri addressed him, halting him.

Antti had noticed as well and wondered how long it would take Jonne to seduce Gary.

~~~

“The bus is ready to take us to the hotel,” Jonne said and wondered why Gary was stalling.

“I’ll drive back with the crew,” Gary said. He wanted to wait for Juha and talk to him. The redhead had really helped him get through the gig.

“But why?” Jonne blinked in surprise. “Why wait another hour when you can get back now?”

“I want to talk to Juha.”

Jonne’s eyes narrowed. “You will...you share a room with him.”

“I don’t want to wait that long,” Gary explained.

Jonne knew he couldn’t continue to pressure Gary and backed off. “I’ll see you at the hotel then. Antti, the bus is about to leave!”

Gary waved at Antti, who hurried to catch the bus. The bus drove off after Antti got on and Gary returned to the now empty club where the crew was still taking down the equipment. Juha was very busy and, while Gary didn’t want to distract the redhead, he felt the need to say thank you in person.

Juha caught Gary’s approach from the corner of his eye and smiled at the guitarist. “You were great!”

“Thanks! But you helped! You were there for me when I needed it the most. I really owe you.”

“You can buy me a drink, remember?” Juha took care of his share of the equipment and made sure everything got inside the truck safely. “How about that beer?”

Gary had stayed close the entire time and nodded. “Do you want to hit the city or go back to the hotel?”

“The hotel is only a ten minute walk away. Let’s find a nice pub close by.”

Gary nodded. “That’s fine with me.” That way he didn’t have to worry about Jonne attaching himself to his side again.

~~~

“This seems okay…” Gary settled on the bench in the back of the pub and made himself comfortable. As far as he could tell there weren’t any fans about and the pub wasn’t crowded – two big plusses as far as he was concerned.

Juha sat down opposite Gary and stretched out his long legs. In the back a slow melancholy song played and hearing it made him feel a home here. It was nice to be someplace calm and quiet after a gig.

A waiter collected their orders and a few minutes later they got their beer. After the traditional ‘kippis’ they sipped and sighed contentedly at the same time. Laughing, they watched each other closely.

“This is nice,” Gary said, enjoying the moment.

Juha nodded and relaxed as well. “So, tomorrow we have this gig in Norway and then what? Where’s home for you?”

“Helsinki! I’ve got an apartment there. Nothing big or fancy, but it’s home. What about you?”

“I live in Helsinki too!” Juha nodded enthusiastically. “What a coincidence!”

“I don’t really believe in coincidences. We should exchange phone numbers...get together when we’re home.”

“I like that idea.” Juha uncovered his cell phone. “What’s your number?” Gary told him and he punched it in. “Safely stored away!”

“Send me a message and I have yours too!” Gary was too tired to bother storing Juha’s number at the moment. “I’m really out of shape...I must be getting old.”

“Ah well, you’re not much older than me!” Juha ordered another beer and smiled happily. “Maybe you can start working out?”

“I already take jujutsu classes and I exercise three times a week. Doesn’t really show, does it?” Gary pointed at his abdomen. “I’m carrying around a bit too much weight.”

“I don’t think so!” Juha shook his head. “And it’s character which matters! Not the way you look!”

Gary grinned. “Who taught you that lesson?”

“A good friend of mine.” Juha drank more of his beer. “We should get back to the hotel… Arska might think we got lost.”

Gary finished his beer and nodded. “Are you going to be part of the crew on all of the gigs?”

“Most of them, yes…” Juha paid for their drinks and they stepped out onto the street again.

“I’m looking forward to spending more time with you. I’m really happy Tommi made us share a room.”

“I feel the same way!” Juha fell into step next to Gary as they made their way back to the hotel.

TBC

Part 3

Antti grew miserable at the sight of Jonne depressed. The blond was having one White Russian after another and not even Tommi’s lecture had made the singer stop drinking. Jonne usually knew when to stop, but for some reason that night was different and Jonne had had one White Russian too many.

“Antti, I don’t feel well…” Jonne fought the convulsions rising from his stomach, but failed to keep them down. “I need to…”

Catching on, Antti wrapped an arm around his friend and rushed him to the bathroom. He brushed the blond hair aside and steadied Jonne as the blond emptied his stomach. The heaving continued for another minute before Jonne sagged against him. Antti supported his friend the best he could and raised the pale face. “I should take you to our room.” He wasn’t going to let Jonne near the bar again that evening.

“I think you’re right,” Jonne said softly. “I drank too much.”

Antti hauled Jonne into the elevator and pressed the button. “Yeah, you did.” And he wanted to discuss the reasons why, but not in an elevator.

“Tommi’s going to be so mad at me…” Jonne whined with a pout.

“We will deal with Tommi later. First, I want you in bed.”

“Are you going to cuddle with me again?” Jonne raised his head and gazed pleadingly at Antti.

“Don’t try that with me. You know it doesn’t work.” Over the years Antti had become quite immune to Jonne’s puppy dog look. He half dragged, half carried Jonne over to their room, opened the door, and managed to get Jonne onto the bed.

Lying on his back, Jonne closed his eyes. “The room is spinning.”

“I’m not surprised considering the amount of alcohol you had!” Antti raised Jonne’s feet onto the bed as well and then sat down next to the blond. “Do you want to talk about it?” It wasn’t the first time he'd taken care of a drunken band mate, but most of the time it had been Lauri or Chris, not Jonne. He unbuttoned Jonne’s striped shirt and pulled the blond upright so he could remove it. “I’m a good listener.”

Jonne shrugged and rested his head against Antti’s shoulder. “Why did I drink that much?”

“Yes, tell me, why did you?” Antti lowered Jonne back onto the bed, removed Jonne’s sneakers, socks, and eventually his jeans as well. Dressed just in his boxers, Jonne pulled up the sheet and Antti tucked it around the blond. “Usually you stop drinking in time.”

Jonne snuggled up to Antti and buried his fingers in the bass player’s shirt. “Sometimes I am so stupid.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Antti gathered Jonne’s hands in his and moved further onto the bed. With his back resting against the headboard, he pulled Jonne close again and stroked the sensitive skin beneath his fingertips. “Why do you think you’re stupid?”

Jonne curled up on his side and pressed close to Antti before slipping his fingers beneath his friend’s shirt. He needed to feel something warm against him. “Because he doesn’t love me back.”

Antti shook his head and pressed a kiss onto the blond hair. “It’s always the same thing with you, Jonne. When you fall in love you do so with your whole heart and when it’s unrequited, you fall hard.”

“I didn’t want to fall in love…” Jonne raised his head just enough to look at Antti. “Why are you up there?”

Antti sighed. That was obviously the alcohol speaking. “Alright, give me a moment.” Antti moved lower and stretched out next to Jonne, who wasted no time in snuggling up to him and ended up covering him halfway. Jonne wrapped his arms around him and Antti did the same. “You don’t even know if Gary likes guys.”

“My heart doesn’t care…” Jonne said stubbornly. “I can’t have him, can I?”

“I’m afraid not.” At least, he hadn't seen any signs that indicated that Gary was equally interested in Jonne. “But at least you have me.”

Jonne smiled sadly and stroked the soft skin of Antti’s abdomen. “Yes, I’ll always have you.” Closing his eyes, he wanted to forget – everything.

Antti stroked Jonne’s hair and watched the blond fall asleep. He loved holding Jonne in his arms, even though Jonne merely wanted comfort and nothing more. “Sleep tight,” he whispered and kissed the blond hair. “I’ll watch over you.”

~~~

Juha set the alarm just in case he didn't wake in time the next morning. He hated having to hurry. “Tommi really got us the earliest flight available!” They had to get up at five and would fly at seven.

“Ah well, we’ll survive. After the gig in Norway we have some days off.” Gary stepped out of the bathroom and headed for the bed dressed in a baggy T-shirt. Juha, he noticed, was wearing nothing but black boxers. The redhead’s slim body reminded him that it was time for him to lose some weight too. “Don’t you have any gigs lined up with Reflexion?” he asked as he stretched out on his back on the bed.

“Some festival gigs in summer, but nothing for the next few months.” Juha turned onto side so he could watch Gary and pulled up the sheet to his waist. “Maybe you’d like to visit me sometime?”

Gary nodded. “I will. It’s not like I’m busy except for the Negative gigs.”

Growing curious and eager to keep the conversation going, Juha asked, “You don’t have a family? Wife? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?” He had a hard time resolving Gary’s sexual orientation.

“No girlfriend at the moment or boyfriend. You could have just asked, you know.” Amused, Gary eyed Juha closely. “And what about you?”

“I swing both ways,” Juha confirmed. “Though my last few relationships were with men. I think I like things better that way.”

Gary giggled. “What about the other Negative guys?”

Juha grinned. “Jay’s straight!”

“Oh yes, no doubt about it! And Nakki too!”

“I can’t imagine him with another man either. You’re right about that.” Juha briefly considered the band. “Lauri?”

“Hard to say. He could be bi. I’ve seen him look at girls and boys…” Gary mused.

“You seem to know Antti pretty well. Do you know if he’s bi?” Juha enjoyed their little guessing game.

“Antti swings both ways too. He had a girlfriend sometime ago, but he’s been single for about a year now. From what I witnessed they never really fit together, but Antti is the loyal kind and wanted to make it work.”

“And Jonne?” Juha was really curious on Gary’s answer.

Gary shrugged. “Bi or gay… He might like girls too, but I think he’s more into men.”

“Yes, considering the way he looks at you…”

Juha’s remark made Gary frown. “I thought I was just imaging it.” But if Juha had noticed it too…

“He’s definitely interested in you. The question is: are you interested in him?” Juha didn’t think so, but he would like to find out for sure.

“I like him as a friend, but he really isn’t my type.” Gary thought everything over. “He’s too hyper...too demanding, I don’t know why, but he makes me nervous.” He preferred to be among people like Juha who were calm, friendly, and supportive in a quiet way. “I’ve got a question for you too.” There was no way he would be able to sleep yet. He was still much too awake for it.

“What do you want to know?” Juha reached for his bottled water, took a sip, and put it back onto the floor.

“If you had to date someone from the band, who would it be?” Gary was curious on where Juha’s preferences lay. What kind of man would appeal to him?

“It’s a good thing I’m single at the moment. I would have embarrassed myself if I’d had a boyfriend and had to answer that question!” Juha gave the matter some thought. “Jay and Nakki are a big no…”

“I can imagine that!” Gary grinned impishly.

“Definitely not Jonne. He wants to be in charge all the time. I don’t like that.”

“That leaves Antti,” Gary said in surprise. “I didn’t think he was your type.”

“Who says I’d choose Antti? You’re part of the band too.”

“Not technically speaking…”

“Fuck technically speaking!”

Both of them laughed at that, but then Gary grew serious again. “Does that mean you’d pick me?”

Juha nodded. “Yes, I think so. You’re easy-going, mellow, down to earth...and we already get along, don’t we?”

Gary had to admit that those things were true. He was still surprised though since he hadn’t expected that particular answer.

“And what about you? If you had to date?” It was Juha’s turn to ask and he was equally curious. “Who would it be?”

“From the band? Honestly? No one,” Gary replied.

“That’s harsh…”

“Not really… You already said it all. Jonne strikes me as high-maintenance. Antti is not my type – too short and way too skinny. Lauri… doesn’t do a thing for me. And we can rule out Jay and Nakki,” Gary explained.

“So there’s no one? Not even Arska?” Juha asked jokingly.

Gary wondered if he should tell Juha the truth. Would it make things awkward? But then again Juha had told him too. “I would consider dating you.”

Juha’s eyes widened marginally. “Interesting choices we made, don’t you think? One could say that we would like to date each other.”

Gary grew quiet after that. All of a sudden, things were becoming too real and much too soon at that. Pretending to be tired, he yawned. “I think I can actually sleep!”

Juha saw through the pretence but decided not to call Gary on it. He felt a bit awkward too. “It’s two in the morning which means we can sleep for three hours…”

“Then we should try doing so. Tomorrow will be hell.” Gary would have a hard time falling asleep though considering the things which had happened that day, but knew he had to try since he wouldn’t get much chance to sleep later. He closed his eyes and pretended to drift off to sleep.

Juha continued to look at Gary for some time, but then his eyes closed as well and contrary to Gary, Juha *did* fall asleep.

~~~

Jonne woke around three o-clock because he desperately needed to visit the bathroom. Jonne cautiously opened one eye and then the other and at first felt confused because he was in someone’s arms, but when he saw the red dreads he recalled that Antti had dragged him to their hotel room.

Antti was the best friend he could have wished for. Although he was also close with the other guys, Antti and he shared something special. He had never been able to put it in words, but knew it was there. “Thanks Antti,” he whispered before freeing himself of his friend’s embrace.

“Where are you going?” Antti opened his left eye to check on Jonne.

“Bathroom…” Jonne smiled apologetically. “I’ll be right back.”

Antti seemed willing to let Jonne go at that. “Don’t take too long! I want to sleep!” And he wouldn’t be able to do so until Jonne was in his arms again. He knew he had to watch himself for it was easy to get used to sleeping like that.

“I’ll hurry,” Jonne promised and stumbled into the bathroom. The alcohol was still in his blood and messing up his coordination. Jonne relieved himself, went over to the sink, and splashed water onto his face while washing his hands. Fuck, he looked like death warmed over. How many White Russians had he had?

After drying his face and hands, Jonne returned to the bedroom, which was much too hot for his taste. He walked over to the window, opened it, and returned to the bed where Antti was already waiting for him. The redhead had opened his arms and gazed impatiently at him. Jonne smiled and moved back into his friend’s arms. “I hope we get to share a room tomorrow too.”

Antti felt the same way, but didn’t bother to confirm it. Jonne knew him well enough to read between the lines. “Go back to sleep. We have to get up in two hours.”

“I’m surprised that Tommi didn’t bang on the door yet to make sure I’m in bed.”

“I locked it. There’s no way anyone can peek.” Antti arranged Jonne in his arms and closed his eyes again. He was tired and wanted to get at least another hour of sleep. “Now hush and sleep.”

Jonne smiled warmly at his friend and closed his eyes, just as Antti had requested. It didn’t take them long to get back to sleep again.

~~~

Tommi grinned sadistically as he chased the Negative guys onto the bus. The Winyls and Flinch would take a later flight since they didn’t have gigs that day, but Negative did and Tommi enjoyed himself making them squirm. Apparently Jonne had continued drinking since he was squeezing his eyes shut against the sunlight. His brother had a tight hold on Antti’s hand and refused to let go, even when they had to board the bus.

Tommi entered the bus and checked if everyone was present. Nakki and Jay were in the back of the bus, chatting animatedly. Lauri had put his headphones on and his head was moving along to the music. Jonne had wasted no time in cuddling up to Antti as the blond head rested against the bass player’s shoulder. Arska was also there, already on the phone making arrangements for Negative’s gig later that day. That left Gary and Juha.

“Sorry we’re late, but someone wanted a café latte before we left!” Juha pointed an accusing finger at Gary.

Gary blushed. “I need it to wake up!”

As far as Tommi was concerned it was nothing to get riled up about. He had seen worse. “Sit down so we can get moving!” Now that they were all present, he wanted to head for the airport as quickly as possible.

Juha and Gary sat down and Juha watched the other man struggle with the lid. Catering had put the café latte into a plastic beaker so Gary wouldn’t spill any on his way to the airport, but now it seemed like the older man was having problems removing its lid. “Want help?” Juha asked and grinned wickedly.

Gary refused to admit defeat though. “I can do it!”

“Don’t make a mess,” Juha advised and continued to eye Gary.

Being watched like that made Gary nervous and when he succeeded in removing the lid, he almost spilled, but he caught himself just in time and managed to keep it all inside. “See? I did it!”

Tommi was sitting behind them and shook his head in exasperation. When he had put them in the same room, he hadn’t thought that they would become friends that quickly. He was happy though. He wanted all of them to feel like family.

~~~

Jonne couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes to check on Gary. He was still hung over from the night before and the light hurt his eyes. Since Gary and Juha were having a rather lively conversation, Jonne could overhear their conversation and with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he realized that he had been right the other night. Gary wasn’t interested in him. The guitarist was way more interested in Juha. Jonne had never expected that. Juha looked ordinary, *was* ordinary, so why the hell did Gary feel attracted to him?

Forcing one eye open marginally, Jonne managed to glance at Gary and Juha. Yes, they were getting along just fine. It eluded him as to why Gary thought Juha was so damn interesting. The guy even looked boring with his hair pulled back and those stupid glasses on!

“You know, being jealous doesn’t really help,” Antti whispered into Jonne’s ear.

Caught, Jonne bit his bottom lip. Damn Antti for knowing him through and through. “I can’t help it,” he whispered in turn, closed his eyes, and leaned against his friend again. “It’s been a while since I felt attracted to someone and Gary seemed a good choice.”

“Better than some of the guys you had a crush on.” Antti curled his fingers around Jonne’s and squeezed. Too bad Jonne had never had a crush on him! “Try to get more sleep. You need it.”

“That’s useless. We’ll be at the airport in five minutes and Tommi will chase us inside again.” Jonne made himself as comfortable as he could, using Antti’s shoulder and chest as a pillow.

Antti felt much more awake than Jonne and studied Gary and Juha. The two were getting along great and he could tell that they would end up good friends and that their friendship would continue after the gigs. He should be happy about that since it meant that Jonne stood little chance with Gary, but he wasn’t. Jonne’s happiness was important to him.

Gary seemed to feel Antti’s eyes upon him and turned his head to smile at his friend, having no clue at all that Antti was worried.

~~~

“Try to eat something,” Tommi coaxed his brother. Cereal, fruit, croissants, buns, anything was fine as long as Jonne ate something. “That hangover will stay with you for quite some time. You only make it worse if you don’t eat and drink something.” He had even fetched some bottled water for his brother.

Jonne merely looked at the food in disgust. “I can’t eat at the moment.” To appease Tommi though, he drank some water. “Bring me aspirin instead!”

“I’ve got some,” Juha offered from where he was sitting a few meters away from the blond. He was enjoying a sandwich and black coffee.

Jonne was willing to accept the aspirin, even though it was Juha offering it to him, so he opened his hand. Juha got to his feet, made his way over to him, and placed the blister pack into his palm. “Thanks,” Jonne whispered, hoping Juha would attribute his unfriendliness to his hangover. Smelling Juha’s coffee made Jonne almost throw up again, but he managed to keep it down.

“The next time I tell you to stop drinking, you will or else I will kick your ass for real and believe me that will hurt!” Tommi threatened.

“Tommi, you screaming at me isn’t really helping.” Jonne knew he had brought this on himself, but there was no reason for Tommi to make his suffering worse! Jonne swallowed the aspirin and washed it down with water. Making himself comfortable again, he leaned against Antti and closed his eyes.

Antti was limited to using one hand only when Jonne clamped down on the other. Good thing he was ambidextrous and managed to eat breakfast single-handedly.

“I hope you’ll be able to give a good show tonight.” Tommi eyed Jonne critically. He really wanted to know why Jonne had felt the need to get drunk the other night and was determined to find out sooner or later.

~~~

Gary kept stealing glances at Jonne and Juha noticed it since they had ended up sitting next to each other on the plane as well. “You seem worried.”

Gary shrugged. “Jonne didn’t really strike me as someone with an alcohol problem. I wonder what happened to make him turn to alcohol last night.”

Juha didn’t know the answer to that question either. “You can always talk to him, though I’m not sure he will tell you.”

Gary nodded and glanced thoughtfully at Jonne again. He wasn’t sure yet what he would do. He just hoped it wasn’t normal for the vocalist to drink excessively.

~~~

Jonne had recovered by the time they arrived at the backstage area at the festival. The aspirin had helped and his stomach had settled down. He hadn’t been able to eat anything yet though and felt weak because of it.

“Hey, try this.” Antti sat down next to the blond and offered him a bowl filled with mixed fruit. “You love fruit and it is easy on the stomach.”

Jonne sighed and ate some chunks. Antti was right of course. There was nothing better than fresh fruit on such a hot day. Even in Norway it was warm.

“Yes, that’s it.”Antti grinned madly and stole a chunk of pineapple before Jonne could reach for it. “Feeling better?”

Jonne nodded. “I need a little time though...and lots to drink. And no, I don’t mean any White Russians.”

Antti handed the blond another bottled water. “Tommi’s worried.”

“He wants to know why I drank that heavily last night.” Jonne sighed. He didn’t plan on telling Tommi the truth. His older brother might resort to looking for another guitarist if he did and Jonne didn’t want that because Gary was right for the band. He would tell Tommi half truths until his brother believed him.

“How do you feel about Gary now?” Antti hoped Jonne would discuss the matter with him. He knew from personal experience that things would get worse if Jonne kept it all inside.

“I think it’s time for me to wake up and face reality. Just look at him – them! They only met a couple of days ago and have been inseparable ever since!” Gary was sitting close to Juha and they were jamming on his spare guitars. “He even plays guitar!” Jonne added viciously.

“Hey, do you remember how we acted when we just met? We didn’t want to be apart either.”

Jonne frowned. Antti *was* right. When they had met years ago, they had instantly formed a deep friendship. Antti and he had been through a lot together and there had been fights, but nothing serious. Looking at Antti, he smiled at his friend and pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for everything.”

Antti couldn’t help it as he blushed. “Hey, don’t get sentimental on me!”

“Nakki, they’re cuddling again!” Jay called out, bemused.

Nakki turned around and grinned. “I want in!”

Antti’s eyes widened. “Nakki no!” But it was too late as Nakki flung himself at them and the three of them toppled over and ended up on the floor as a result.

“Ui, group hug…” Lauri had a mad gleam in his eyes when he jumped in and cuddled everyone he could get a hold of.

“Me too!” Jay announced and laughed when all four of them protested loudly.

“Don’t you dare jump us!” Antti shivered. Jay was way too heavy to do such a thing!

Gary smiled at them and felt relieved. Apparently the band was still okay and Jonne had had other reasons for drinking the other night.

The four let go of each other eventually. Lauri pressed a kiss on the brows of his band mates and then disappeared into the bathroom. Antti settled down next to Jonne and made him eat more fruit and Nakki sat back and took in the relaxed atmosphere. Even the keyboardist had noticed that Jonne was troubled, but the hugging had reassured him that matters had been solved.

~~~

“You’re a lot less nervous today,” Arska remarked as he took Gary’s guitars onstage.

Gary nodded and smiled shyly. “It’s because yesterday’s gig went well. I feel…relieved. The pressure’s gone.” Gary’s outlook on the gigs had changed and he eyed the crowd with more confidence. “Last night… What did you think of the gig?”

Arska felt flattered that Gary would ask his opinion. “It rocked. It was a good gig, especially considering that it was your first.”

“I thought so too. The vibes were amazing.” Gary's gaze drifted away from Arska as he sought out Juha. The redhead was busy readying everything for Negative’s gig. “I would like to see him onstage once.” Gary gazed thoughtfully at Juha. The earlier conversation still echoed in his head. In a way, they had both admitted to being attracted to the other. But wasn’t it much too soon to even think about that? Then again, life was short and if they had a chance, he would like to find out.

~~~

“I’m fine,” Jonne told Tommi, who kept hovering close for some reason. “The show will be great! Relax, Tommi!”

“I hope so.” Tommi hoped Jonne had recovered from his hangover. “You’ve got five more minutes.” Looking about, he checked on the other band members and was pleasantly surprised to see them all lined up, ready to go onstage. That was a first! Gary seemed more confident and the nervousness that had plagued the guitarist yesterday was gone. There was a smug grin on the guitarist’s face. Yes, maybe they had made the right choice after all when picking Gary.

“Antti, stop that!” Gary glanced at his friend in irritation. “Can’t you stay put for even a minute?” Antti was pacing impatiently and every now and then threw a worried look at Jonne. Gary wondered what that was all about.

“I just want to go onstage.” Antti grew aware of Gary’s scrutiny and thought it best not to look at Jonne for the moment. He had managed to keep his feelings for the blond a secret for years because he had been cautious and he didn’t want someone to figure it out accidentally.

“He’s fine,” Gary said and rubbed Antti’s shoulder. “The aspirin helped.”

Antti wished everything was that simple, but it wasn’t. He wasn’t going to tell Gary that though. “The crowd’s huge.”

“It’s an outdoor festival. What do you expect?” Nakki remarked.

Their intro music started and one by one, they moved onto the stage.

TBC

Part 4

“The gig was another success! You did great!” Tommi was relieved that Jonne had managed to perform to his usual standard. “Let’s eat something, have a drink, and go to the airport. I want to go home.” Tommi ruffled Jonne’s hair and hugged his brother. “Stay away from White Russians for the next few days, will you?” Was this the right moment to bring up Jonne’s drinking the other night? Tommi checked their surroundings and found Antti still hovering nearby. “Why did you drink that much? Is there something I can do to help?”

Jonne wrapped an arm around his brother. “No, it has nothing to do with you, Negative, or the gigs. It’s personal.”

“You can tell me everything,” Tommi stated seriously. “We’re brothers, Jonne. Family. You can always fall back on me.”

“I know that.” Jonne smiled fondly at his older brother. “But you can’t help me this time. I need to figure out some things.”

Tommi’s eyes narrowed and he pulled Jonne into a corner so no one – certainly not Antti – could hear them. “Does it have something to do with Antti?”

Jonne raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Antti?”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that he’s always close? Like now?”

Jonne looked to his right and found Antti standing nearby, looking worried. “But…that’s Antti. He’s like that.”

“I know Antti too, Jonne, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he has a crush on you.”

Jonne’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “You can’t be serious!”

“Forget I said that. I’m probably just imagining things.” Tommi regretted voicing his thoughts. He hadn’t wanted to worry Jonne. “Grab a shower if you want to and then head for the bus, alright?”

Absentmindedly, Jonne nodded. Tommi’s words continued to spin in his head though. Tommi couldn’t be right. Antti? Having a crush on him? Never! But...frowning, Jonne realized that Tommi was right in one aspect. Antti was always hovering close. Even now the redhead was looking at him with worry. Jonne shook his head. No, Antti and he were friends – best friends, but that was about it! There was nothing else – nothing more than that!

“You look spooked. Was Tommi angry with you?” Concerned, Antti made his way over to his friend. There had been a weird look on Tommi’s face when the two brothers had talked just then and he felt vexed that he hadn’t been able to overhear their conversation.

“No, Tommi was…” Jonne cocked his head and studied Antti’s expression. Damn Tommi for feeding him that particular idea. But no, Antti and he went back years and the bass player had never even hinted at the possibility of having feelings for him. But then again, Antti was an odd character and Jonne could well imagine the redhead hiding such feelings. Antti would worry that they might endanger their friendship.

“Jonne, are you alright?” Antti moved a hand in front of Jonne’s face to check for alertness.

“I’m fine.” Jonne caught Antti’s hand in his and rubbed the back. Carefully he watched Antti’s reaction to his touch and noticed the way Antti’s blue eyes darkened. Damn it...was Tommi right after all?

“Jonne, we should get moving if you want to shower. The way Tommi has been acting, he might leave without us if we show up late.” Antti wondered why Jonne was looking at him like that.

“I think I’ll shower later…” Jonne felt undecided. What was he going to do about their situation? He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t know, but discussing it didn’t feel right either, especially since he didn’t know what he wanted to do about Antti. Sure, he felt flattered, but…what other emotions was he experiencing? Antti and he were friends, yes, but…was there more to it? And if there was, where did he want to take this? Jonne shook his head. There were way too many questions and his head still reeled from the conversation he’d had with his brother. Had he really been so blind that he had overlooked Antti’s feelings for him? Had he been such a bad friend?

“Jonne, you’re scaring me! Say something!” Jonne was staring at him again and there was an odd look in the singer’s eyes – one that made the hair on the back of Antti's neck stand rigid. What the hell had that conversation been about? What had Tommi told Jonne?

“The bus is leaving in fifteen minutes! If you want to be on it, get moving!” Arska called out to Jonne and Antti.

Since Jonne was still holding Antti’s hand in his, he pulled the redhead closer and cocked his head. He didn’t say anything as he just watched Antti closely. The longer he studied the redhead he realized that Tommi might be right. Why hadn’t he noticed that look before? “Antti, you and I are going to spend some quality time once we’re back home.”

Antti blinked. Where was that coming from? “Huh? Jonne...what?”

Jonne cradled Antti’s hand in his and pulled the bass player along to the bus. He stuck his tongue out at Tommi when he passed his older brother. “See, we’re on time!”

Tommi pretended to be impressed. “If Lauri can find his way here too, we would be ready to leave for the airport.”

Looking about, Antti realized that Tommi was wrong. “You’re also still missing Gary.”

“Gary won’t be joining us. He’s on a later flight and is driving along with the rest of the crew,” Tommi explained.

Nakki sipped from his beer. “Very convenient for Gary that Juha’s on that bus too! That redhead made quite the impression on him!”

“You might be right about that,” Tommi said. “They seem inseparable. A bit like you,” he added while looking at Jonne before glancing at Antti. “And you.”

Antti forced himself to react quickly. “Hey, someone needs to keep an eye on Jonne when you’re not around!”

“Sure,” Tommi whispered and stepped outside to search for Lauri. “Lauri over here!”

Lauri perked up at Tommi’s call and made his way over to the bus while sipping from his alcohol free beer. He got onto the bus and settled down next to Nakki. Grinning madly at Jonne and Antti, he then glanced at Nakki. “Want to cuddle? Jonne and Antti do it all the time.”

Nakki laughed and checked Lauri’s beer bottle. “Are you sure there’s no alcohol in it?”

Lauri pouted. “Then don’t! Jay! Want to cuddle?”

“I’ll poke you with my drumstick if you attempt that!”

“You’re no fun either!” Lauri’s pout worsened. “Tommi?”

“Hell no and shut up!” Tommi signaled their driver that he could leave and smiled contentedly, wondering how long it would take Jonne to figure out Antti’s feelings as well as his own.

~~~

“You didn’t have to stay,” Juha said as he finished storing away the equipment safely.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m on a later flight at any rate. The rest of the band is flying to Tampere, remember? I need to go to Helsinki.” Gary had quickly changed his clothes after the gig and tugged his bag over his shoulder. “I wonder if Tommi managed to get us on the same flight.”

Juha winked at Gary. “We’ll find out! Alright! I’m done here! Let’s find our transport!”

“Over here!” Arska waved them over and pointed the small bus out to them. “We’re about to leave.” He grinned at Gary. “I thought you were a band member. Aren’t you on the wrong bus?”

“Don’t be mean,” Juha retorted and winked at Arska. “Don’t scare off my first ever groupie!” Gary reacted with a poke in his side. “Hey, I’m happy to have one!”

Gary moved to the bus and sat down next to Juha as he decided that he was happy with the title of groupie.

~~~

Antti was disappointed when Nakki sat down next to him on the plane instead of Jonne, but he hid it. “I’m going to get some sleep,” he told Nakki and uncovered his headphones to listen to some music.

Jonne was stuck at Tommi’s side and sulked as well. He wanted to sit next to Antti. After a few minutes, he got to his feet and pushed past Tommi, who watched him in amusement. “You held out longer than I thought!” Tommi joked.

Jonne chose not to react to his brother’s comment and walked over to where Nakki was sitting. If he wanted to swap places he should do it before the plane started to takeoff.

Nakki wasn’t really surprised to see Jonne standing there. Feeling smug, he raised his head and grinned at the blond. “Yes, Jonne? What do you want?”

Jonne shifted his feet nervously. “Your seat?”

Nakki laughed and Antti looked up. He quickly removed his headphones to hear what the blond was saying. “And why would I want to swap places with you? I’m perfectly comfortable here,” Nakki remarked teasingly.

“Because…” Deep lines appeared on Jonne’s brow. What could he say that would make Nakki move?

“Yes Jonne, why?” Nakki enjoyed teasing Jonne, but he would move eventually. It wasn’t just Tommi who had noticed how close Jonne and Antti had gotten the last few days and he was happy that Jonne had allowed Antti in. The blond was an expert in locking people out if he wanted to.

“Because you love me?” Jonne cocked his head and gazed pleadingly at Nakki.

Nakki laughed again and collected his stuff. “Okay, but only because I really do love you!” He gave Jonne a quick hug and sat down next to Tommi, who glanced knowingly at him. Ah well, hardly anyone resisted Jonne when he turned that look on!

Antti was stunned to see Jonne sit down next to him. He hadn’t thought the blond would seek him out. He opened his mouth to ask Jonne what was up, but the blond shook his head and started speaking instead. “Antti, do you love me too?” Jonne bit his bottom lip. He hadn’t planned on asking Antti that or being so direct, but he had to know.

Antti stared at Jonne in shock. He couldn’t believe the blond had really asked him that. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Lie? He was a bad liar, especially when lying to Jonne. Tell the truth? That wasn’t an option either because he didn’t think Jonne would like his answer. Opting for a half-lie, he said, “Of course I do! You’re my friend!” He hoped he would get away with that.

Jonne continued to nibble on his bottom lip. “I love you too, Antti.” He wasn’t sure what was going on or even what he was doing, but he knew something had to happen. They had been stuck in the same place for a long time without knowing it. Antti’s expression darkened and Jonne acted instinctively as he moved closer to kiss the redhead on the lips.

Antti wanted to move away and avoid the kiss, but felt paralyzed. Jonne’s gaze kept him in place and when soft lips descended onto his, he parted his mouth without thinking about it. Moaning into the kiss, he moved closer when Jonne wrapped his arms around him. In the back of his mind, he knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, but it felt too good to be kissing Jonne like that.

Antti’s reaction told Jonne a lot and he deepened the kiss. Antti moaned softly into his mouth and, after opening his eyes, he studied Antti’s expression. Oh yes, it was rather obvious. He *had* been blind.

“Oh Nakki! They’re kissing!” Lauri, who was sitting on the other side of the aisle, made kissing noises. “And there’s definitely some tongue involved!”

Hearing Lauri, Antti startled and pulled away from Jonne, breaking off the kiss. “What are you doing?” Why did Jonne have to pick that moment to address the matter? They were in a plane and there was no chance at privacy. He didn’t want to discuss this in front of the others!

“Kissing you… Finding out stuff… I should have done so a long time ago…” Jonne kept his voice down so the others couldn’t hear. “For how long, Antti? How long has this been going on?”

Antti lowered his gaze. He just couldn’t look Jonne in the eye. He shrugged and tried to sound casual. “From the start.”

Jonne sucked in his breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Antti shrugged again. “I was afraid, I guess. I didn’t think you felt the same way about me and I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”

Jonne nodded. “I understand that, but you still should have said something!”

Antti peeked at Jonne. “And now what?”

Jonne drew in a deep breath. “You took me by surprise I have to admit that, but…”

“But what?” Antti’s eyes widened in suspicion. Jonne’s expression told him nothing and his hands started to tremble. He hoped he wasn’t going to lose Jonne’s friendship over this!

“I care about you, Antti… I *do* love you… I just never considered loving you that way.” Jonne grew shy and caught Antti’s trembling hands in his. “If you’re serious about this and want to make it work then…then I want that too.”

Antti couldn’t believe the things he was hearing. “But you have a crush on Gary! Not me!”

Jonne briefly averted his gaze and gathered his thoughts. Once he knew what he wanted to say, he sought out Antti’s gaze again. “A crush is just a crush. Antti, I’ve always felt connected to you! We share something special! You can’t deny that! I’ve been thinking about it all day...ever since Tommi told me you were in love with me.”

“Tommi did what?” Antti exploded at Jonne.

“Tommi did nothing wrong!” Jonne glared at Antti and rubbed the other man’s fingers soothingly. “I should have seen it myself, but I was crazy about Gary. Antti, now that I know I can’t have Gary, those feelings will go away, but you...you will always be there for me – at my side. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize what was going on before.” Jonne moved Antti’s hand closer to him and pressed it against his chest, close to his heart. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. I know it’s unexpected.” Jonne moved as close as his seatbelt allowed and rested his head against Antti’s shoulder to show nothing had changed between them.

Antti wasn’t sure what to do. Jonne’s little speech had overwhelmed him and he needed time to think.

~~~

“Now I’ve got your number safely stored away too.” Gary switched off his cell phone since the plane was getting for takeoff. Originally their seats hadn’t been next to each other, but after Juha had smiled at the stewardess, she had arranged for them to sit together. “I think you got another groupie, you know.”

Juha giggled. “Ah yes, she was really eager to help, wasn’t she?” He stretched his long legs out as much as possible and made himself comfortable for the flight. “So what are you going to do when you get home?” He still had time to find out more about Gary and wanted to use his time well.

“Pick up my two cats. They’re staying with my neighbor at the moment.”

“I like cats,” Juha commented and braced himself for takeoff. He wasn’t scared of flying, but hated the moments during takeoff and landing. “What are their names?” he asked to distract himself.

“Nyytti and Kesti. I’ve had them for years. They’re practically family. Do you have any pets?”

“Not exactly…does a bass player count?” Juha was relieved when they climbed to the correct altitude and relaxed.

“You have a bass player for a pet?”

Juha laughed. “Well, Mikko plays bass for Reflexion and he visits whenever he can.”

“What about animal pets then?” Gary really enjoyed talking to Juha. The redhead brought a refreshing wind into his life.

“Except for the spiders in my bedroom?” Juha cocked his head and smiled brightly.

“You have spiders in the bedroom? I hate spiders!”

“Don’t worry, dear, I’ll kill them for you.”

Gary actually blushed a bit at that. It still amazed him that getting along with Juha was so easy, but he also welcomed it. He needed someone like Juha in his life and the fact that the redhead would also be there on tour was an added bonus. “I’ll make fresh orange juice for you in the morning as a thank you,” he said jokingly, trying to play along.

Juha nodded. “I’ll remember that promise when the time comes!”

Damn, Juha had made him blush again! What was it about the redhead that made him so charming?

Juha realized that he might have pushed Gary too far and decided to make up for it. “Do you already have plans for the upcoming Saturday evening?”

Gary swallowed hard. Was Juha asking him out on a date? Peeking at the redhead, he shook his head, not trusting his voice.

“Consider yourself invited to dinner! I’ll make pasta!” Juha’s head lolled against the headrest of the chair as he grinned at Gary. “Let’s say around seven? You can bring the wine. I like white wine best.”

Gary hadn’t wanted to voice his thoughts, but the words still left his lips, “Are you always so direct and…pushy?” He smiled though as he spoke to show that he was still bantering.

“If you want something, you have to make an effort! My parents taught me to work for what I want – hard, if necessary, but to always go for it.”

Gary nodded. He liked that attitude. “And what do you want from me?”

Juha shrugged. “I want to get to know you better, spend time with you, and we’ll see what happens then. Maybe we’ll decide that we don’t really like each other, but I somehow doubt that! Maybe we will end up good friends, or…even more. Let’s see what happens.”

Gary couldn’t agree more. “Alright, you’ve got a date then. I’ll be there Saturday!”

“And don’t forget the wine!”

“I won’t,” Gary answered with a grin on his face. He was already looking forward to Saturday.

~~~

Antti felt odd upon disembarking the plane. Jonne was still holding his hand and the blond seemed determined to stay at his side. All the while, Antti endured Lauri and Nakki's pestering. Both men made kissy sounds whenever they were close and threw mock lovey dovey looks at each other. They were slowly driving him crazy and it wouldn’t be long before he would rip them a new one if they continued like that.

“Hey, let them!” Jonne had noticed Antti tensing up and tugged at his hand. “They’re just jealous.”

'Of what?' Antti wondered. Jonne had totally confused him during the flight. Yes, they had snuggled close before, but this time everything had been different. His head reeled with the possibilities that Jonne had presented him with. Jonne wanted to date or at least wanted to try, but Antti couldn’t believe Jonne was over his crush on Gary so quickly so his doubts kept him back. He was afraid to entrust his heart to someone who had cried about being rejected only days ago and had gotten drunk because of it!

“I’ve to go home first, but would you like to spend the evening together? We can watch some television, grab a bite to eat, go to the movies, a club, whatever you’d like,” Jonne inquired. Antti’s lack of enthusiasm worried him. He didn’t know what he had expected to happen...maybe Antti jumping him and kissing him, but not this silence. Antti was never silent! “Is something wrong?” Jonne asked in a small voice. He tried to catch Antti’s gaze, but the redhead avoided looking at him. “Did *I* do something wrong?”

Antti sighed deeply and shook his head. “No, you didn’t. Your speech back there just took me by surprise. Let’s discuss it later when we have some privacy?” To his relief, Lauri and Nakki were busy getting their luggage and had stopped their pestering.

“Should I come over to your place then?” Jonne suddenly realized that things wouldn’t be as easy as he had thought. Apparently Antti had doubts about them!

“Sure, you can do that.” Antti had spotted his suitcase and dragged it away from the conveyor belt. “Jonne, give me some time to think it over and get used to the idea of us dating.”

Jonne nodded. “I will do that. It’s not the reaction I had expected to get from you, but...maybe I was naive to think that you would jump at the possibility of being together with me.” Jonne sounded hurt.

“You’re going to make me discuss this now, aren’t you?” Antti looked about and realized that the rest had moved on. They had probably realized their need for privacy. “Let’s have some coffee then,” he suggested and pointed out the little bistro near the exit.

Jonne dragged his pink suitcase along and settled down on a chair opposite Antti. Jonne ordered tea while Antti ordered coffee and, once the waiter had brought their order, Jonne couldn’t keep quiet longer. “I did something wrong. What was it?”

Antti took a sip of his coffee as he searched for the right words. “I find it hard to believe that you’re over Gary already.”

Jonne stared into his tea. “I understand that and you’re right, I’m not 'over him', as you put it, but… Fuck, I don’t know how to make you understand!” Frustrated, Jonne wrung his hands. “I want a shot, Antti. I want a chance to make it work.”

Antti had always wanted Jonne to say that, but he still wasn’t sure it was the right thing for them to do. “Let’s take it slow then.” He refused to risk his heart while still knowing full well that Jonne still had some feelings for Gary.

“I get that,” Jonne said quickly. “I need some time too, but… You’re giving me a chance then?”

Antti raised his gaze and smiled shyly at Jonne. “I’m giving *us* a chance.”

“Thanks, Antti!” Jonne leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto Antti’s lips. “See, no tongue! I’m taking it slow!”

“You shoved your tongue into my mouth already during the flight!” Antti retorted teasingly.

“It made Nakki and Lauri jealous, didn’t it?” Jonne winked at Antti.

“That raises another question,” Antti commented and took another drink of his coffee. “How are we going to tell the band what’s up and how will it affect Negative?”

“Let’s worry about that when we get there.” Jonne reached for Antti’s hand and curled his fingers around it. “I don’t think we need to tell them anyway. They probably already figured it out. The kissing and cuddling might have given us away!”

Antti had to admit that that was probably true. “So what will happen now?”

Jonne was surprised that Antti wanted him to take the lead, but he accepted the challenge. “We’ll go home, stuff our things away, and, after I've had a shower, I’m coming over to your place.”

Antti nodded and finished his coffee. “We can watch Halloween.” Smiling, he waited for Jonne’s outcry.

“No! We aren’t going to watch your horror movies! I’ll bring Titanic along!”

Antti pretended to cringe. “My heart wouldn’t be able to take that!”

Jonne smiled, squeezed Antti’s hand, and whispered, “I’m sure we will find a movie we both want to watch.”

~~~

“So this is goodbye then...for now?” Gary had retrieved his suitcase and was heading for the exit alongside Juha. It was a good thing that Juha’s red suitcase had stood out like it had since it had helped him locate his own.

“For now, that’s right, but…” Juha checked the time. “I’m too lazy to make dinner and there’s a little restaurant over there. Want to find out if they have pasta?”

Gary wondered if Juha felt the same way he did and didn’t want to part yet either. “I’m hungry too.” He followed Juha over to the restaurant and they found a quiet table in the back. After placing their order, Gary wondered on what they could talk about. The situation felt odd in a way.

The waiter brought the pasta and while Juha dug in, he also remarked, “If I keep eating like this, I will need to start working out and I’m so damn lazy!”

Gary enjoyed his pasta too, but had been thinking exactly the same thing and burst out laughing. Juha glanced at him in puzzlement and he explained, “I was thinking exactly the same thing!”

“That’s scary...our minds already think alike!” Juha placed his fork down for the moment and looked at Gary. “It’s odd, but I don’t want to let you go.”

Since Juha had turned serious, Gary did too. “Yes, I know… I feel the same way.”

Juha grinned wickedly. “Well, why wait until Saturday to meet up again? I have to work tomorrow until six, but after that, I’m all yours.”

Gary wished he would stop blushing every time Juha said something like that. “You can come over for dinner tomorrow, if you’d like. I’ll even make something healthy like a salad.”

Juha nodded. “I’d love to come over. Where do you live?”

Gary told Juha the address and looked at the redhead in surprise when Juha remarked that he lived close by. Gary smiled, shook his head, and wondered what other surprises fate had in store for them.

~~~

“I’ll see you later…” Jonne pressed another kiss onto Antti’s lips. “I’ll give you a call before I leave home so you can tidy up a bit.”

“Are you saying my place is a mess?” Antti grinned, knowing damn well that his place *was* a mess most of the time.

“Well, it would be nice if we could fit on the couch to cuddle.” Jonne got out of the taxi they had shared and smiled once more at Antti. “And remember, no horror movies!”

“But no Titanic either!” Antti waved at Jonne and then told the driver where to take him. He felt like a teenager all over again, being in love for the very first time.

TBC

Part 5

Gary’s first stop after unpacking the next day was collecting his precious babies from his neighbor’s. “Thanks for looking after them! I hope they were good!” Gary cradled Nyytti and Kesti in his arms and took them home. He could tell that they were displeased with him because they immediately turned their backs on him and headed for their favorite spot on the windowsill when he put them down.

“I’m sorry,” Gary apologized while sitting down on the window sill next to them. “But you can’t stay on your own while I’m away.” He knew from previous experiences that they would come around during feeding time.

After petting them for a while, Gary got to his feet and went into the kitchen to check his stock. He desperately needed to get some groceries if he wanted to provide dinner that evening, so a moment later, he left his apartment and headed for Stockman.

Thankfully no one recognized him and he hoped it would stay that way. He had no need for groupies stalking him. He bought everything he needed for the salad he wanted to make and added some chicken as well. They couldn’t live on greens alone!

He was stuffing everything into a bag when his phone started to vibrate unexpectedly. Fishing it out of his pocket, he looked at the display and found that it was Juha calling him. His first thought and biggest worry was that Juha had changed his mind and was canceling dinner. “Gary here.”

“It’s me! Where are you? I’m standing in front of a locked door!”

Gary’s eyes widened. “You’re at my place? But you’re way too early!”

“I can go home if you don’t like me being early.”

Gary chuckled and shook his head even though Juha couldn’t see him. “No, stay there. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“Alright. See you soon!”

Juha ended the call and Gary shook his head again. Juha was an hour early! He had hoped to have dinner ready by the time the redhead showed up!

~~~

Juha heard cats meowing on the other side of the door. The smart little beasts knew something was about to happen and had grown curious. Fooling around with his phone, Juha tried to kill time. The ten minutes crawled by much too slowly and when the elevator doors finally opened, he practically jumped to his feet as Gary emerged. “That was more than ten minutes!”

“Don’t start with me! You’re an hour early!” Gary unlocked the door and tried to shoo the two cats back when they tried to escape from his apartment. “Be careful, they’re fast!”

Juha quickly followed Gary inside and closed the door behind him. “Hello there!” Bending down, he petted the cats’ heads. “What are their names?”

“That’s Nyytti. Be careful though...she sometimes has a bad temper. Kesti is more easy-going.” Gary put the groceries onto the kitchen table and looked about. He just knew Juha was going to be a major distraction during cooking. “Do you like chicken?”

Juha had lifted Kesti and was rubbing behind her ears. She purred and Juha chuckled in turn. “Hey, another fan!” He placed her back on her feet and joined Gary. “Chicken is fine with me. Can I help?”

Gary considered his answer carefully. If he gave Juha something to do, the redhead wouldn’t get in the way. “You can grill the chicken!”

“I can do that.”

A few minutes later, Juha was watching the chicken to make sure it didn’t burn and Gary was busy preparing the salad. The peaceful quiet didn’t last long though. Gary was slicing some cucumber when Juha started again.

“What are you tossing into the salad?”

Gary sighed. “Lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, sweet corn, and some feta. Is that okay with you?” Juha nodded and the silence returned...for exactly one minute.

“You could also throw in some hard-boiled eggs…”

“I could, but I don’t have any handy…” Gary busied himself with preparing the tomatoes and wondered how long Juha would manage to stay quiet this time.

“Chicken is grilling…”

“I can see that.” Gary turned around and eyed Juha. The redhead was tapping his right foot to some music only he could hear. “I’ve got another job for you.”

“But I can’t leave the chicken! It’ll burn!”

“I’ll keep an eye on it. I want you to go into the living room and put on some music.” Maybe the silence was getting on Juha’s nerves and putting on music would give the redhead something to do.

“Alright, but be careful. The meat is already very tender…” Juha checked the meat one last time and then headed into the living room. It had a nice size and had been tastefully decorated. One of the walls had been painted blue and most of the furniture was made of lightly colored wood. The sofa in the corner of the room looked comfortable and had several pillows on it. Juha nodded to himself. Yes, he felt welcome there.

“Juha! Music!” Gary called out from the kitchen, obviously wondering what was taking Juha so long.

“I’m on it,” Juha called back and headed for the shelves which held Gary’s CD collection. The first thing he noticed was the large amount of U2 albums there. Gary obviously was a fan of that band. Keeping that in mind, Juha picked up U2’s 'Joshua Tree' and inserted it into the player. A moment later, the music echoed through the apartment and Juha returned to the kitchen. “So you like U2?”

“I do. That’s my favorite album, by the way.”

Juha moved closer and checked the chicken, which Gary had removed from the fire. “Looks ready.”

“You can set the table if you want. Everything you need is in there.” Gary pointed Juha towards one of the cupboards.

“I have to remember to be late the next time we have dinner together. You’re making me work for it!” Juha joked before setting the table as Gary had asked him to. He then helped carry their plates, the wine bottle, and glasses. “Looks great,” he said once they had sat down.

Gary hoped it would taste as good as it looked. “Then dig in!”

Juha put some salad onto his plate and tasted it. “You’re a good chef! I’ll invite myself over for dinner all the time!”

“That’s fine with me. I like the company.” Gary felt at ease now that he was at home, being surrounded by his personal belongings and with his favorite music playing in the background.

Throughout dinner they kept stealing glances at each other. Gary still didn’t completely understand what had happened the first time they’d met, but he *did* know that he wanted the other man close. He didn’t really believe in first at love sight, but maybe something similar to that had happened to him – to both of them, judging by Juha’s expression.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Juha had finished eating and took hold of his wine glass with white wine inside it, which he noticed. Gary had remembered his preference.

“You can try.” Gary put his fork and knife down and leaned back.

“I saw some pictures over there.” Juha pointed toward the windowsill. “Family portraits?”

Gary nodded. “Yes, my parents and my two younger brothers.”

“You’re the oldest?” Juha sipped his wine and liked its flavor.

“Yes, I am. Do you have siblings?” Normally he didn’t volunteer such personal information, but talking to Juha came natural.

“Two older sisters and an older brother. I’m the youngest.” Juha sighed contentedly. Dinner had been good, the company was even better, and the wine tasted excellent. He was perfectly happy at the moment. “If you’re not careful, I might want to stay and you won’t get rid of me!”

“You can stay as long as you want.” Gary meant every word and that in itself surprised him. “In a way, this is awkward. It’s like words are not enough to say what I want to say.” Feeling confused, Gary frowned and deep lines appeared on his brow. “I don’t even know what I want to say in the first place.”

“I think I know what’s wrong.” Juha moved his chair closer to Gary’s and took the other man’s hand in his. “When words are not enough, touch is needed.”

Gary’s breath escaped him. That had sounded extremely erotic. But Juha was right. He *did* want to touch the redhead. “I never experienced anything like it before.”

“Like what?” Juha asked while stroking Gary’s fingers as they rested in the palm of his hand.

“Feeling like I don’t want to let you go.” Gary swallowed hard as emotions made it hard for him to continue. But in the end, he did. “Has it happened to you before?”

Juha shook his head. “It’s a first for me too.” Still rubbing Gary’s fingers between his, he bit his bottom lip and then looked thoughtfully at the other man. He hoped he wasn’t going too fast, but… “Can I kiss you?”

Gary blinked, surprised because he had wanted to ask Juha the same thing. “I want that too.” He clasped his fingers tightly around Juha’s and involuntarily sucked in his breath when the redhead leaned in closer. His heartbeat sped up as Juha slipped his hand along the back of his neck to bring him in for the kiss.

“Don’t forget to breathe,” Juha whispered into Gary’s ear as he soothingly massaged the other man’s neck. “I don’t bite.”

Gary forced himself to breathe and stared at Juha in wonder. When Juha’s lips finally pressed to his, he moaned softly and closed his eyes to savor the sensation. It was a light, non-invasive kiss and he wrapped an arm around Juha in turn. Locked like that, their kiss continued for another few seconds before Juha pulled away, giving him the opportunity to draw in air. Smiling contentedly, Gary couldn’t stop looking at the redhead. “That was what was missing.”

Juha nodded. “Looks like we’re moving faster than we planned.” He didn’t mind though. Kissing Gary had felt great. But he also realized that he shouldn’t overdo it. “Let’s clean up the mess we made in the kitchen and maybe we can go for a walk and enjoy the weather while it’s still warm.”

“I can clean up tomorrow.” Gary’s voice trembled with emotion. “Juha… I think I’m…” He swallowed hard, feeling too nervous to actually say the words.

“In love? Falling in love?” Juha asked knowingly. He waited for Gary to nod and added, “I feel the same way. It’s happening to me too.”

Gary needed to do away with the sexual tension rising between them or he might do something they might regret later. He didn’t want to move that fast! “Come on, I’ll buy us some ice cream for dessert.”

“I love ice cream…” Juha licked his lips and chuckled as he watched Gary grow flustered again. “You’re so damn shy...turns me on.”

“Damn it, Juha! You’re making me nervous,” Gary whispered playfully.

“You’ll get used to it!” Juha got to his feet and pulled Gary with him. “I want that ice cream you promised me,” he said to do away with Gary’s tension. “And I’ll even behave.”

“You don’t have to. I like your cheekiness.”

“Alright, in that case I’ll misbehave.” Juha pressed a quick kiss to Gary’s lips and then pulled him along. “I want strawberry ice cream, just so you know!”

“Red and sweet, I should have known!” Juha’s smile took away some of his nervousness and Gary realized that he had to let go. He had to let himself fall and hope for the best.

~~~

“You’re leaving again? So soon?” Tommi raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You just got home!”

“I’m off to see Antti!” Jonne checked his appearance in the life-size mirror that was in the hallway and added extra eyeliner. “No need to wait up for me! I don’t even know if I’ll spend the night at home or stay at Antti’s place!”

Tommi wiggled an eyebrow. “You finally caught on and want to make up for lost time?”

Jonne glared at his older brother via the mirror. “We’re taking it slow, if you need to know!”

Tommi chuckled. “You and taking things slow? Am I supposed to believe that?”

“Then don’t!” Jonne turned around and continued to glare at Tommi. “You could have told me sooner that Antti has feelings for me! You know I’m not good at reading the signs!”

“Then it’s time you learned those skills!” Tommi rose from the couch and joined his brother in the hallway. He folded an arm around Jonne and looked him in the eye. “Be careful with Antti. And no, it’s not because he’s part of the band. You know what he’s like: big mouth, but a heart of gold.”

“Trust me, I know that. Antti’s done a lot for me in the past and I’d never willingly hurt him.”

“Good!” Tommi hugged Jonne and smiled at his younger brother. “Don’t keep him waiting. Get going!”

“Thanks, Tommi. Love you!” Jonne pressed a kiss onto his brother’s cheek and rushed out of the apartment.

“Young love,” Tommi whispered and chuckled, feeling happy for his brother.

~~~

Antti had given cleaning up his apartment a shot, but after a while he had gotten lost and had stopped. He had just piled all of his clothes in one corner and the rubbish he collected in another. He had managed to clean away all of the food leftovers though and after doing that, he had opened the windows to let in some fresh air. It was the best he could do in so little time. He wasn’t any good at cleaning or keeping everything tidy.

Since Jonne had said he would call before showing up, Antti decided to hop into the shower. Antti made quick work of showering and made sure his dreads didn’t get wet. He quickly dried his skin and had just slipped into his boxers when the doorbell echoed through the apartment.

“Damn it, Jonne! You said you’d call!” He had better get used it though. Jonne was like that. Antti walked over to the front door, looked through the little spy glass, and sighed. It was Jonne alright and he was still only wearing boxers. Damn the blond’s timing!

Jonne smiled blindingly at him when he opened the door and Antti couldn’t help but stare at the younger man. Jonne’s misty eyes took his breath away. “Hey...I thought you’d said you'd call.” Antti stepped aside to let Jonne in.

Jonne wiggled an eyebrow and whistled at Antti. “Looking good! Don’t bother putting on more clothes than that.”

“Stop that!” Antti shook his head. “What happened to taking it slow?”

“I’m afraid I’m not very good at that.” Jonne had the grace to blush. “I’ll try though. I even brought along some movies!” Jonne headed for the couch and sat down so Antti could slip into the bedroom and put some clothes on. “Maybe you’ll like one of them!”

Antti detoured to the kitchen and collected drinks and snacks. He brought everything along and put it on the coffee table. “Want some beer?”

Jonne nodded. One beer wouldn’t do any harm. He would stop then though since he didn’t want to end up drunk again...especially on his first ‘date’ with Antti. He thanked Antti for the beer and took a gulp. “Here, you pick one!” He dropped the stack of movies onto Antti’s lap once the redhead had sat next to him.

Antti raised an eyebrow. “These aren’t yours.”

“They're Tommi’s. You know what kind of movies I like and I know you don’t like watching them.” Jonne watched Antti carefully and still didn’t understand why he hadn’t noticed the bass player’s feelings for him before.

Antti wasn’t sure how to react to Jonne’s little speech. “Hey, I would have survived watching Titanic with you, if it makes you happy. You should have brought the movie along.”

“It’s not important. Pick one!” Jonne removed his shoes and made himself comfortable by pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

Antti knew he wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of the movies that Jonne had brought however. It had been thoughtful of Jonne to bring them and he appreciated it, but… “I think I know what movie I want to watch.” He put the stack onto the coffee table and headed for his private collection.

Jonne hoped that whatever movie Antti would come up with wouldn’t be too bloody. He grabbed a handful of potato chips and nibbled slowly on them. “What movie did you pick?” he asked as the redhead returned to the couch after inserting the DVD into the player.

“You’ll find out in a sec.” Antti reached for his beer and was about to make himself comfortable when Jonne snuggled up to him. “You’re eager…” Jonne cocked his head and looked at him. Antti swallowed hard. “Don’t do that to me.”

Jonne knew exactly what kind of effect he had on Antti and made good use of it. He moved into Antti’s arms, rested his head against the other man’s shoulder, and folded an arm around Antti’s waist. “Now you must protect me from the monsters.”

“Monsters?” Antti quipped amused.

“You probably picked the worst movie ever made!”

Antti smiled reassuringly and stroked Jonne’s back. “I think you’ll like it.”

“I should probably close my eyes…” Jonne was exaggerating and enjoyed pulling Antti’s leg a bit. He covered his eyes with one hand and parted his fingers to peek through them. “How gross is that movie?” He got his answer a moment later and his hand dropped onto the couch in surprise. “Titanic? But...I didn’t know you owned that movie!”

“A girlfriend once gave it to me and you know what I’m like. I have a hard time throwing away gifts.” Jonne smiled blindingly at him and Antti’s heart missed a beat. “I’m glad you like the surprise.”

“I love it!” Jonne inched closer still and pressed another kiss onto Antti’s lips. “You’re the best!”

Antti’s ego expanded at that. “Cool…”

“Do you have tissues? I’ll need them.”

Antti laughed. “You’re *not* jerking off on my couch!”

“No!” Jonne swatted Antti’s chest and pretended to be insulted. “I always cry at the end.”

“I’ll kiss your tears away…” Antti murmured and blushed. He hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

Jonne raised his head and smiled adoringly at Antti. “You’re…” He failed to find the right words to express himself and opted for placing another kiss on Antti’s lips. “My hero…”

“The last hero!” Antti joked, trying to make light of the situation. If he took everything Jonne said serious, he would be in trouble. In that case, Jonne might succeed in dragging him off to bed to have sex. He wouldn’t be able to deny Jonne and he knew the blond well enough to know that Jonne would find it hard to take things slow as he had promised. “Watch your movie, will you?”

“You’d rather have me watch Titanic than kiss you?” Jonne said in disbelief.

“Do you remember promising to take things slow?”

Jonne blushed. “Sorry,” he whispered and snuggled up to Antti again. “I’ll be good.”

Antti didn’t say anything, knowing Jonne’s good intentions wouldn’t last long.

~~~

Jonne was crying near the end of the movie. “Antti, I need tissues!”

“No, you don’t.” Antti placed his hands on either side of Jonne’s head and turned the blond toward him. Staying true to his words, he kissed Jonne’s tears away...slowly, sensually. “Better?”

“Hum, don’t stop…” Jonne had forgotten all about the movie as he concentrated on claiming Antti’s lips. There was no fucking way he could take this slow!

“Slow down, Jonne…” Antti pulled away slightly from Jonne and gazed thoughtfully at the blond. “That’s enough for now, okay?”

Jonne’s first reaction was to pout, but then he reconsidered. “There will be more later though?”

Antti chuckled. “Maybe…” He pulled Jonne into his arms again and savored the intimacy.

~~~

“Do you have to lick it like that?” Gary tried to look everywhere but at Juha, who had curled his tongue around the ice cream. Even the way the redhead held the cone seemed erotic. Juha had great hands to begin with…

“I always eat ice cream like this.” Juha grinned at Gary. “Do you like what you see?”

Gary drew in a deep breath and wished his blood would stop rushing south. He couldn’t believe he was reacting like that from watching Juha eat ice cream!

“My tongue is extremely talented…” Juha made a show out of eating the rest of his ice cream and watched Gary closely as he did. Gary was blushing furiously and he seemed to be getting riled up judging by the way the black-haired man was shifting his feet about.

“You’re doing this on purpose!”

“Not really. It’s in my nature to tease, I guess. Sorry.” Juha took Gary’s hand in his and they started their walk back to Gary’s apartment. “I’ll see to it that you get home safely and then I’ll get off your back.”

“You’re heading home already?” Chasing Juha off hadn’t been Gary’s intention!

“I have to work tomorrow, which means getting up at six in the morning and I do need some sleep.” Gary tightened the hold on his hand and Juha looked up in surprise. “Don’t tell me you don’t want me to leave?”

“The truth?”

“Yes, please,” Juha said and nodded.

Gary lowered his gaze and whispered, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Want me to stay the night? Is that what you’re saying?” Juha was puzzled. He hadn’t thought Gary would move so quickly! That was even a bit too fast for him! He liked to tease and play, but he didn’t sleep with someone on the first date!

“No, don’t get me wrong,” Gary said quickly at Juha’s look. “I’m not asking you to sleep with me! Just…maybe…in the same bed… holding… or kissing a bit…” His emotions got the better of him and he grew terribly flustered. “Just forget I ever brought it up!”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I understand what you’re trying to say and I’m fine with it. We shared a room the last few nights so in a way it feels natural to do so now as well. But in that case, I need to drop by my apartment and collect some stuff for the night. I’ll also have to sneak out early in the morning.”

“I can live with that.” Gary turned Juha’s hand around and studied the nimble fingers. “You have great hands…”

Juha chuckled. “You’re the first to compliment me on my hands!” He looked at his hands, but couldn’t find anything special about them.

“I’m serious…” Unable to stop himself, Gary caressed Juha’s fingers and noticed the way the redhead trembled. Smugly, he grinned at Juha. He could tease too.

Juha turned shy for a moment. “Thanks…”

“You’re welcome. So where do you live? Let’s fetch your things and then head for my place.” Gary could hardly believe that he had been so bold in asking Juha to stay at his place. But he had and that meant that he didn’t have to part from the redhead yet.

~~~

“Jonne, take your foot out of my face!” Antti blinked. How the hell had they ended up in his bed? And why was Jonne upside down?

Ah yes, they had watched Titanic, had a few more beers, and since Jonne had refused to go home, the blond had snuggled up to him in bed. He didn’t mind. He welcomed having Jonne in his bed, but hoped the blond remembered that he had promised to behave.

Antti was perfectly content with their slow pace. He wanted time to discover new things about Jonne one step at a time and having sex with Jonne just like that would have been wrong. In a way, it would have been disappointing if they had already slept together.

“Humph, my foot?” Jonne, still half-asleep, peeked at Antti from behind his entangled hair.

Antti moved Jonne’s foot away from his face, got onto all fours and crawled over to the foot of the bed where Jonne’s head was situated. “You didn’t have that much alcohol…” So why had Jonne ended up like that in bed?

“I don’t know…” Jonne couldn’t be bothered to consider the situation he was in. He wrapped his arms around Antti and pulled him close. “Sleep some more,” he whispered and closed his eyes. He rubbed his cheek against Antti’s bare chest and purred. “Will be nice dreams…”

Antti merely smiled and enfolded Jonne in a hug as well. “You’re right. It’s too early to get up.” Snuggling closer, he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

~~~

Juha’s apartment was smaller than his, but Gary instantly felt at home. Juha’s place was a bit cluttered with record albums, posters, guitars, and even found a drum kit instead of a spare bed in the guest room. While Juha stuffed his overnight bag, Gary inspected the sound gear in the living room. Juha had a mini recording studio in there. “Where do you sleep?” he asked, wondering if the bedroom was equally cluttered.

“In here of course!” Juha appeared in the doorway and then stepped aside. “See?”

Gary looked inside cautiously and smiled. There wasn’t anything electronic in there except for the alarm clock. Juha’s bedroom was a bit on the romantic side with red bed linen and a tapestry above it. “I like it…”

“Thanks!” Juha stuffed his toiletries into the bag and turned around. “I’m ready. We can go.”

Gary nodded and was about to head for the front door when he noticed that the little light of the answering machine was blinking. “Someone tried to reach you.”

“I wonder who it is. Everyone calls me on my cell phone these days.” Juha checked his phone and found that the battery had died. “Ah, that’s why!” He pushed the button on the machine and smiled at Gary. “I need to recharge the damn thing.”

“Juha? It’s me, Mikko! You need to recharge that damn battery! I tried calling you all day!”

“Oops,” Juha said and grinned cheekily at Gary. “I told you about Mikko, didn’t I?”

“Yes, your pet bass player!” Gary replied.

“He can’t live without me, you see?”

Gary shook his head at that. He had picked quite a colorful character to fall in love with!

“Tuomas Holopainen has been trying to get a hold of you! Apparently For My Pain has been asked to headline a charity. It’s a festival where a lot of bands will play and he needs you to call him back and confirm that you’re available. I know what you’re like, so don’t wait too long calling him back. You will forget about it otherwise. And hurry, the festival is in three days! I hope you have been practicing your vocal skills. I’ll see you at the gig, now get going!”

Juha’s eyes had narrowed during Mikko’s speech. “They’re getting back together again for one gig? Must be something special.”

“Maybe because it’s a charity gig?” Gary suggested.

“That might be it…” Juha considered everything for another moment and then looked at Gary and grinned smugly. “Looks like you’ll get to see me in action after all!”

TBC

Part 6

Gary stripped to his boxers and moved over to the bed where his two cats had made themselves comfortable like most nights. “Not tonight, darlings,” he said and removed them from the bed. As a result, they hissed angrily at him and turned their backs on him, showing just how deeply insulted they felt.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that on my account!” Juha had watched the cats march out of the room. Like Gary, he was wearing only his boxers and even that was too warm, but it was still too early for them to sleep naked...at least it felt like that for him.

“They'd end up sprawled all over us. I know what they’re like.” Gary turned down the covers and stretched out on the bed. “Are you going to join me?”

Juha walked over to the bed and lay down before turning onto his side so he was facing Gary. “Do you mind if I…?”

Gary opened his arms and Juha moved into them. The younger man rested his head against his shoulder and Gary rested his hand on Juha’s hip. “How early will you get up in the morning? Was it six?”

Juha nodded against Gary’s shoulder. “I’ll be quiet and won’t wake you.”

“I wouldn’t mind…”

“Still. You should sleep.” Juha raised his head and looked into Gary’s eyes. He didn’t have to be a genius to figure out where they were headed. “I have to work until five PM and then I’ll have to head home first. Since we have this gig going on, I need to rehearse a bit. I don’t want to embarrass them.”

Gary nodded, but smiled sadly at Juha at the same time. “Does that mean I won’t see you tomorrow?”

“No!” Juha quickly shook his head and rubbed his cheek against Gary’s shoulder at the same time. “I’d like to sleep here again tomorrow night. Is it okay if I come over around nine or ten?”

“Of course it is!” Gary stroked Juha’s hair and loved the way the strands glided through his fingers. The red mane possessed a life of its own it seemed. “You’re always welcome here.”

“That’s great.” Juha rested his head against Gary’s shoulder again. “Want some backstage passes for the gig?”

Gary chuckled. “You promised Arska to take him along too, remember?”

“I will do that…” Juha yawned and rubbed his cheek against Gary’s shoulder again. “It’s time for me to go to sleep.” He was already halfway there.

“Then sleep tight…” Gary pressed a kiss onto the red head and tightened his hold on Juha, who promptly moved even closer. “I think I love you,” he whispered once he was certain Juha was asleep. “I hope you love me too.”

~~~

Juha was already gone when Gary woke the next morning. Instead of having the redhead in his bed, he had two cats snuggled up to him. Their presence did little to drive away the feeling of abandonment that swept through him however. He didn’t have much time to linger on it though since he had to get ready for his trip to Tampere. That day was a rehearsal day and Jonne expected everyone to show up on time.

Gary made quick work of showering and getting dressed then had a bite to eat for breakfast. He made sure his battery was charged and put his phone into his shoulder bag before collecting his car keys. He put some extra food out for the felines and then headed for his car.

~~~

“Morning…” Jonne leaned in closer and kissed Antti on the lips. “You made breakfast!” Jonne had woken up alone in bed and had wondered where Antti had disappeared to when he had smelled the fragrances coming from the kitchen. He slid onto Antti’s lap and stole the redhead’s toast away from him. “Yummy.”

Antti shook his head. “That’s mine!”

“And since you’re mine, everything you own is mine now too!” Jonne bit off a chunk of the toast and then fed Antti with the rest. “We slept a bit too long. We’ll have to hurry if we want to show up in time for our rehearsal.”

“And you can’t be late since you enjoy kicking the asses of those who are always late! Like Lauri’s!”

“You know me so well.” Jonne cocked his head. “Antti, I really want this to work.”

Antti nodded. “Me too… How do you think you will react to seeing Gary today?”

Jonne took his time considering Antti’s question. “I don’t really know…but now that I know he isn’t interested in me, things have changed. I believe I can work with him on a professional level without any feelings getting in the way.”

Antti nodded again. He knew what Jonne was like. Jonne’s feelings often took the blond on a rollercoaster ride. Jonne’s life was often filled with ups and downs and Antti hoped he would bring a bit more stability to the blond’s world.

~~~

Antti and Jonne got there in time, but were the last ones to arrive. Even Lauri had gotten there early. Jonne looked about their training room and was surprised to see Tommi present as well. His older brother seldom attended their rehearsals. “What are you doing here?”

Tommi put an arm around his brother and said, “I have something to say.”

“Don’t scare me like that!” Lauri had expected the worst when he'd seen Tommi there, but since the manager was smiling, he was reassured that nothing bad had happened.

“I’ve got another gig for you and it’s a big one! It takes place in two days in Helsinki and they’re expecting up to ten thousand visitors. It’s a charity meant to raise money for children stuck in homes or needing hospital care. So far, a lot of bands have confirmed their appearance. I got a request this morning to fill in for The 69 Eyes and I said yes!”

“Why weren’t we asked in the first place?” Jay wanted to know.

“They did ask,” Tommi clarified. “But at the time, I wasn’t sure we could accept with the new album coming out and the promo work you have to do. So they put us on the backup list.”

Jonne nodded. “It’s fine with me. We just have to rehearse extra tomorrow.” Jonne glanced at Gary and, while he still felt a bit weak in the knees whenever he looked at the guitarist, his feelings had changed...dwindled. He was okay with their working relationship and knew he had been making a fool of himself running after Gary like that. He was much better off dating Antti.

“I’m glad you agree since I’ve already accepted!” Tommi chuckled. “I already told Arska and the rest of the crew about it.”

Gary wondered if Juha would be their sound guy during the festival. The redhead probably had other things to do fronting For My Pain.

“So what are we waiting for?” Nakki said. “Let’s get busy!” He stepped behind his keyboards and gave his band mates an expectant look. “Now!”

After they had finished rehearsing, Jonne walked over to Gary. “You’re getting better every time we play together.” From the corner of his eye, Jonne caught Antti watching him thoughtfully.

“Thanks!” Gary removed his guitar and smiled at Jonne. “I also feel less nervous now! It was the worst in Berlin!”

Jonne recalled Gary hurling before the gig. “So you’re okay with the situation and being our live guitarist for now? Also, when things work out, which I think they will, will you become a permanent member?”

“Of course! I feel at home in the band!” Gary noticed that something was different about Jonne, but couldn’t say what it was. Something about Jonne made him no longer feel trapped when the blond was close. He had felt cornered before. The expression in Jonne’s eyes was different and he liked it much better this way. “We rehearse again tomorrow then?”

“We should. If the festival is really that big we can’t afford to mess up.”

“Same time tomorrow?” Gary asked as he reached for his shoulder bag.

“Yes… Are you leaving already? We were going for a drink, you know.”

“Only one though. It’s late and I want to be home before Juha shows up. He was an hour early yesterday and caught me by surprise. I don’t want him standing in front of a locked door. Maybe I should get him his own key...” Gary explained, though he was mostly talking to himself and forgetting about Jonne.

“Juha? The sound guy?”

“Yes, the sound guy!” Gary chuckled. “He’s quite something.”

Jonne still didn’t understand what Gary felt was so damn attractive about the redhead, but let it go. It wasn’t his business and he had his own redhead now! “It’s something serious then?”

“I have the feeling it will become something very serious.” Gary brushed back some black strands that teased his brow and waited for the other guys to join them. “Just one, remember?”

“I’m fine with that.” Jonne searched his feelings and realized that his crush on Gary was fading with every second, especially now that he knew that the guitarist was seeing their sound technician. Looking over his shoulder at Antti, he smiled and then nodded. Everything was fine.

~~~

Antti ignored the knowing look Lauri was giving him as he sat down next to Jonne. If the guitarist dared to start making kissing sounds again, Lauri would pay for it! Antti didn’t know what Jonne and Gary had discussed earlier in the training room and he couldn’t help feeling a bit insecure about the whole situation. What if Jonne had changed his mind and still wanted to be with Gary?

“Stop worrying, Antti. We’re fine.” Jonne sat on Antti’s lap and folded an arm around the redhead. He cunningly ignored Nakki, who was cheering him on, and concentrated on Antti. “I talked to Gary because I wanted to find out how I feel about him and I can safely say that we’re fine...you and me.”

Antti frowned. “So your crush is over?”

“Not entirely, but… I’d rather be with you.” Jonne rested his head against Antti’s shoulder and kicked Lauri, who had pouted his lips in a mock kiss. “Stop it or I’ll kick where it hurts!”

Lauri cocked his head and grinned diabolically. “You can try…”

Jonne preferred to concentrate on Antti again. “Do you remember that you asked me how to tell the band?”

Antti looked about and nodded. “We don’t need to tell them. They know already.”

“Exactly.” Jonne’s lips teased against the sensitive skin of Antti’s throat and stopped only when Antti told him to. Jonne complied, not wanting to make Antti uncomfortable. He was convinced that they would get there in the end even if they took things slow.

Gary left thirty minutes after they arrived. He still had a two-hour drive ahead of him and it was seven PM already. It was time to head home.

~~~

This time, Juha wasn’t an hour early and Gary had time to shower, toss a quick salad for later, and feed the cats. The two of them were still acting insulted, but he couldn’t help having to leave now and then.

It was ten already when the doorbell finally rang and Gary hurried to open it. He hadn’t thought it possible, but he had really missed having Juha about. After opening the door, he took a step forward to hug Juha when he suddenly noticed that something was different about the younger man.

“What?” Juha’s eyes widened questioningly.

“You look different!” Juha’s hair was loose and the red color shone dangerously in the light. Juha's eyes had been lined with black and there was even a hint of eye shadow to be seen. Juha was wearing tight-fitting jeans and a button down shirt that revealed part of his chest.

“Ah that…” Jonne lowered his head a little and peeked impishly at Gary. “I always dress up when I rehearse. Makes it easier for me to get a feel for it. I forgot that I was still wearing this.”

“Looks good on you…” Gary took hold of Juha’s hand and pulled him into the apartment. “So this is Juha the front man?”

Juha chuckled. “He’s not that different from Juha the sound technician.”

Gary however shook his head in disagreement. “You look sexy.” Juha’s grin almost blinded Gary. His remark had obviously flattered Juha. “You can look like that every day of the week and not just when you have an upcoming gig.” He closed the door behind them and guided Juha into the living room. “I made a light salad. I wasn’t sure if you would be hungry or if you would have already eaten so…”

“I’ve forgotten about dinner,” Juha admitted as he sat down and reached for his plate. “Hello there. No longer angry with me?” He petted Kesti and she seemed to have forgiven him for having been the reason why she had been kicked out of Gary’s bed the night before.

“Hum, she’s still angry with me though…” Gary sat down next to Juha and took hold of his plate as well. He ate a few bites and then put the food down since he wasn’t really hungry. “I’ve got news for you.”

“And what might that be?” Juha winked at him.

“Negative’s also playing at that charity festival.” Juha’s eyes widened just as Gary had expected they would and he chuckled. “I doubt you’ll be mixing our sound that day.”

“A colleague of mine will do that. I’ll be busy doing some interviews and even a photo shoot with the band, if I got the information right. Tuomas called me several times today and then their manager started harassing me too.”

“Admit it, you’re loving it.” Gary had noticed the gleam in Juha’s eyes that had appeared when he had started to talk about the gig.

“Yes, you’re right…but they can be pushy!” Juha finished his salad and put the plate away. “What are we going to do for the rest of the evening?” It was a pity he had to get up early the next day or else they could have stayed up late. But he already felt tired and knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay awake for long.

“Maybe talk? Or you can sing me something? I got a guitar you can use.”

Juha sighed. As if he hadn’t done enough singing for one day, but he would make an exception for Gary. “Give it to me then.”

Gary fetched the acoustic guitar and handed it to Juha. The redhead’s fingers moved easily across the strings and, as a fellow musician, Gary could easily recognize that he was dealing with a talented songwriter. When Juha started singing, Gary leaned back, closed his eyes for a moment, and savored the experience. He could tell that Juha had been working on his voice that day as the redhead hit all the right tones. Opening his eyes, he studied the younger man sitting opposite and admitted to being utterly in love with Juha.

The song ended and Juha put the guitar away. “You have an odd look in your eyes.”

Gary took Juha’s hand in his and rubbed the fingers. “Juha, I need to know...does this mean we’re together?” Maybe he was a bit old-fashioned, but he wanted to know where he stood and if they thought alike. “I’m the loyal kind of guy. When I enter a relationship I give a hundred percent to make it work and I want it to be just us...no one else.”

Juha moistened his bottom lip and swallowed to rid himself of the lump of emotions that blocked his throat before nodding. “It’s the same way for me. So I guess this means you’re my boyfriend now?”

Gary chuckled. “You made me feel like a sixteen old just now by saying that! But yes, I guess that’s true.” Leaning in closer, he claimed Juha’s lips in a tender kiss. Pulling the redhead closer, he looked him right in the eye and smiled as he saw the love reflected in the green eyes.

~~~

Two days later -- The morning of the festival gig

“I’ll see you at the festival,” Gary said as he headed for the tour bus which Tommi had organized for them.

Juha kissed Gary and smiled at him. “Don’t forget to watch the show. You might not get a chance to see For My Pain in action ever again!”

Gary chuckled. “Duly noted…” He didn’t want to part from Juha, but the redhead needed to leave since Mikko was waiting for him in the car. “See you later.” He squeezed Juha’s fingers one last time and then headed for the bus.

~~~

Lauri moved closer to the window to get a good look at the redhead standing next to Gary. If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, it was Juha, their sound technician, holding Gary’s hand. But this Juha didn’t resemble the Juha he had witnessed during their gigs. This Juha looked sexy! “Um...Jonne?”

“I’m busy!” Jonne refused to leave Antti’s lap where he had made himself comfortable. No matter what Lauri wanted from him, it could wait!

Lauri raised an eyebrow at that, but then decided to let Jonne be. If the blond didn’t want to know that he had been wrong about the redhead, then so be it!

~~~

After Gary disappeared into the tour bus, Juha headed for his car where Mikko was already waiting for him impatiently. “Mikko, the drive only takes thirty minutes! We’ll be way too early!”

“You have interviews to give and a photo shoot and shouldn’t be late.” Mikko started the engine and drove away from the apartment. “So this is the real thing? You’re sure about Gary?”

Juha nodded. “I’m sure. This is different from all the other times when I was in love.”

“Then I’m happy for you… I hope he’ll pass my test,” Mikko quipped and wiggled an eyebrow.

“Don’t scare him away, you hear me?” Juha told himself to relax. The bantering with Mikko helped, but he still felt nervous about the gig. It had been a long time since he had been onstage with For My Pain and he had rehearsed the other night as well to become familiar with the lyrics again. He hoped he wouldn’t mess up onstage that night.

~~~

“Great time to be performing.” Jonne sulked. Their slot was at three in the afternoon and it wasn’t just hot outside, but also very bright. Using their lightshow wasn’t an option and Jonne put some sunglasses into his back pocket at the last moment just in case the sun blinded him.

“We will manage,” Antti consoled him. He had opted to go shirtless since it was so damn hot. But since he didn’t want to end up sunburned, he had generously applied sunblock, which made his skin and tattoos shiny.

“You’re right! Let’s do this!” Jonne looked at his band mates, smiled at them, and then the intro started. “We will rock them!”

~~~

Gary had played some huge crowds with Technicolour, but never one as massive as this. There were several thousand people watching and cheering them on. He quickly forgot about any nervousness that he might be feeling. The only thing he regretted was that Juha couldn’t watch him perform. Unfortunately for him, the redhead was giving interviews at the moment.

At four PM, Negative ended their show, thanked the audience, and left the stage sweaty and dehydrated. The first thing they did was drink lots of water. While Jonne went over to Antti to talk about the gig, Gary headed for the doorway.

“Where are you going? We’re going to party!” Lauri called out.

Ah well, he could have a drink with them. Juha would be tied up until seven and For My Pain wouldn’t hit the stage until nine. “As long as you remind me to return to the stage around nine,” Gary said as he joined the rest of the band. “I really want to watch For My Pain.”

“Oh yes! They’re headlining the festival! I want to see them too!” Lauri commented as he took a swig from his alcohol free beer. “They’re legend!”

“I think we all want to see them, don’t we?” Antti asked while looking about. Nakki, Jay, and Jonne nodded and Antti added, “We’ll check them out, don’t worry.”

In that case, Gary leaned back and enjoyed a cold beer while hoping that Juha was doing well with his interviews.

~~~

“Arska!” Juha greeted the roadie and even pulled him in for a loose hug. “It’s great to see you here! See, I remembered to get you special backstage passes.”

Arska nodded and returned the fond smile. “I hardly recognized you when I saw you during that photo shoot. What a difference a bit of makeup makes!” Arska returned the hug and eyed Juha more closely. “Are you ready for tonight’s gig? Or do you tend to get as nervous as Gary in Berlin?”

“I don’t have stage fright thankfully!” Juha guided Arska to a quiet corner and sat down. “I’m looking forward to it! And the best thing is that Gary will be there to watch the show!”

“The whole band will be there. Nakki has been talking about it ever since he found out that For My Pain was going to perform.”

“They will? Interesting.” Juha grinned wickedly. That night promised to be interesting indeed!

~~~

“Let’s get going! For My Pain will hit the stage shortly!” Antti got to his feet and dragged Jonne along with him. The blond immediately slung an arm around him and pulled him close. “It might be difficult walking with you all over me!”

“I’m sure we’ll manage,” Jonne assured him. The band made their way toward the stage and Jonne was surprised to see Gary speed up and head backstage where Arska was waving him over. “What is Arska doing there?” Negative had only been cleared for their backstage area and For My Pain’s area was off limits to everyone because of the hectic activity going on there.

“Looks like he has a backstage pass,” Antti remarked. He frowned, puzzled when he saw Gary also remove something from his pocket, show it to the security guy, and get cleared for the area. “That’s weird.” Arska greeted Gary and the two of them moved closer to the stage. “Should I feel jealous now that Arska and Gary have better connections than us?” Antti wondered aloud.

Jonne shrugged. “Hey, we can watch the show from over here. We have a good view and we’re hidden from the crowd.” They were still backstage, just not as close to the main stage as Arska and Gary.

“I wonder how they managed to get those passes,” Nakki muttered as he watched Arska and Gary shake hands.

“We’ll ask them later and then we’ll know,” Jay said and watched the stage instead of their friends. “I’ve been hoping to see them live for years!”

“Me too,” Nakki agreed and nodded firmly. “I hope they’re as good as their reputation says they are.”

“We’re about to find out,” Antti whispered as the intro music started.

Lauri Tuohimaa and Olli-Pekka Törrö entered the stage first, already playing the first chords that announced 'Automn Harmony' as the first song that day. Tuomas Holopainen manned the keyboards and his long hair danced in the summer breeze as Petri Sankala took his place behind the drum set and joined in. At the same time Altti Veteläinen appeared onstage and added the bass melody to the impressive song. All that was missing was the vocalist.

“Great building of the song,” Jonne remarked, feeling impressed and a bit jealous at the same time. For My Pain had obviously been dubbed Finland’s super band for a reason. Jonne’s eyes widened when the front man finally entered the stage. The red hair was flying, the black clothes made him look mysterious, and the green eyes flashed dangerously. Juha Kylmänen. Jonne knew the name of course, but had never met the other man and had only seen pictures of him. Something about the redhead struck him as oddly familiar though and he frowned. “Antti?”

Antti tightened his hold on Jonne and nodded his head. “Looks familiar, don’t you think?”

Juha started singing and waved at Gary and Arska before moving forward to flirt with the audience. He was obviously having the time of his life being onstage with his old friends. Therefore he didn’t notice Jonne staring at him at first, but when he did, he grinned and waved at him.

Jonne managed to smile back. He had been surprised that Juha had noticed him and would wave at him. He hadn’t exactly been nice to the redhead during their gigs. “I had no idea who he was.”

“I guess the glasses and the ponytail misled us,” Antti replied and caught Nakki’s surprised look.

“Is that our sound technician?” Nakki couldn’t believe his eyes.

“It is,” Arska said. He had made his way over to them when he had seen their surprise. “Don’t be too hard on yourself though. I didn’t recognize him at first either. Gary told me. Apparently our new guitarist found out about Juha first.”

“And you got that special pass because…?” Lauri asked.

“I told Juha I would love to see him live once, so he arranged for Gary and me to be able to come backstage.” Arska eyed Jonne closely. “You’re really baffled, aren’t you?”

“Well, wouldn’t you be? Look at him!” Jonne felt truly impressed. For My Pain really rocked the stage. “I never told him, but I thought Juha was boring when we met in Berlin.”

Arska laughed. “Trust me, he’s anything but boring.”

Jonne nodded. In a way, he owed Juha an apology, but the redhead didn’t know that.

“Do you guys want to come backstage with me? You have a better view from over there,” Arska offered. “And don’t worry about the passes… I know the front man of the band.” Arska winked at Jonne.

Jonne considered the offer and when he felt Nakki’s pleading look on him, he nodded. “Sure, why not.”

“Yes!” Nakki immediately started marching after Arska as he led them backstage.

“Are you alright?” Antti whispered in Jonne’s ear.

A deep line was etched on the singer’s brow when he responded, “I think I learned a valuable lesson right now. Never judge someone by his appearance. I judged Juha without knowing him.”

“Come on then. You can make things up to him. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t know you thought him boring.” Antti pressed a kiss to Jonne’s neck. “Let’s enjoy the show and then talk to him, alright?”

“Yes, we will do that.” Jonne clasped Antti’s hand in his and they followed the rest of the band to the back of the main stage.

~~~

Juha was still excited and bouncy when the band left the stage. He immediately headed for Gary, wrapped his arms around the guitarist, and kissed him, hard and demanding. “We rocked!” In the back, he heard the other band members greet their loved ones or congratulate each other on a great gig. “Did you like it?”

Gary nodded. “You were great! You rocked indeed!” Gary couldn’t get enough of looking at Juha. The green eyes were alive with an all-consuming fire. Juha was a natural performer and belonged onstage. “Look, Arska brought some friends along.”

Juha turned to greet the rest of the Negative gang and smiled enthusiastically at them. “You came to see the show! That’s great!”

Jonne knew he had to say something, but tried to hide behind Antti. Antti just placed his hand at the small of Jonne’s back and pushed him toward Juha. Jonne wanted to turn and scold Antti, but in the depths of his heart, he knew he had to do this and should be grateful for Antti kicking his ass. “I had no idea you were *that* Juha,” Jonne said. “I didn’t recognize you.”

Juha smiled forgivingly at Jonne. “Happens all the time! Don’t feel bad about it! Did you like the show?”

Jonne realized that he had really misjudged Juha and was relieved that the redhead was reaching out to him. “I think I learned one or two tricks just now by watching you.” Juha’s smile became infectious and Jonne found himself smiling along. “I’m really glad to know you.” Jonne wasn’t prepared for Juha’s reaction and got pulled into a tight hug.

Gary exchanged a look with Antti, who was also grinning. Everything had worked out. All they had needed was a little bit of love.

The end