Title: The Haunting
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email:
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairings:
Elrond/Celebrían and Glorfindel/Erestor
Rating:
G
Summary: The twins accidentally set fire to Glorfindel’s rooms and Glorfindel
has to temporarily take up residence in another suite, which has a dreadful
history.
Disclaimer:
Not mine. These characters belong to Professor Tolkien. No copyright
infringement is intended. I'm not making any money out of these stories!
Warning: AU of course.
Beta read by Patricia and DA, thanks sweeties!
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
The Haunting
“It was an accident,
Elrohir nodded his head in
a way that resembled Elrond’s way of nodding – solemn and thoughtful. His eyes
were dry and he gazed at their father with more confidence. He knew that Elrond
wouldn’t discipline them for making a mistake. They hadn’t started the fire on
purpose.
Elrond sighed deeply and
sat on his heels in front of his offspring. Celebrían stood behind him and
placed a hand on his shoulder to give him strength and patience. Dealing with
their sons’ antics was never easy. The Elflings always meant well, but
sometimes things went wrong. And everything had gone horribly wrong this time.
“Elladan, you *know* that
you are not allowed to carry an oil lamp with you. They are dangerous and
should stay on the table or window sill where the adults put them.” Elrond
raised his right hand, reached for Elladan, and gently wiped away the tears. It
had been Elladan carrying the oil lamp and the Elfling felt guilty for
accidentally dropping it. “What were you doing in Glorfindel’s rooms at any
rate?”
Elladan tried to stop
crying, but the tears continued to flow from his eyes. “We wanted to play.
Glorfindel always makes our play exciting and we wanted to ask him to spend
time with us. We did not know he was away on patrol.” Elladan’s gaze shifted
from his father’s face to Glorfindel’s. The flaxen-haired Captain was searching
for remnants of his personal belongings. Most of his possessions, including his
wardrobe, had been burned to cinders. There was nothing left to salvage.
“We are sorry,
Glorfindel momentarily
stopped searching what remained of his personal belongings and raised his head
to look at the twins. Although he was upset because everything had been burned
to ashes, he couldn’t find it in his heart to be cross with the Elflings.
His features contorted
with sympathy as he saw Elladan tremble. He covered the distance between them
and, after Elrond stood, Glorfindel lowered himself onto one knee. Reaching
out, he placed one hand on Elladan’s head and stroked the dark hair. “You made
a mistake and you learned your lesson, so now we will move on.” Glorfindel
hoped his words would calm Elladan, who was still sobbing softly, but they
didn’t, so he added, “When I was your age I made mistakes too. I did not cause
a fire, but it also took me a while to understand that the adults told me ‘no’
for a reason. I always challenged them, insisting I was old enough to do
things, but I was not. Elladan, we will fix my rooms, paint them, order new
furniture, and the tailors will be busy making a new wardrobe for me. It is not
that bad.”
Elrohir wrapped his arms
around his twin and pulled him close. “Glorfindel is right. We are only six
years old, Elladan. We can not do much on our own yet. We should listen to
them.”
“But it was a mistake! An
accident! I did not do it on purpose! It was dark in the corridor! That is why
I took the oil lamp with us! I am scared in the dark,” the Elfling blurted out,
feeling quite embarrassed because he had to make that admission. “Even when you
are there, I still feel scared, Elrohir, and you know it!”
Elrohir instantly soothed
his brother. “I know you are scared in the dark, but I will protect you.”
Elrond exchanged a look
with his wife, who was smiling at their sons. He had intended to discipline his
sons for burning down Glorfindel’s rooms, but since Elladan continued to sob
and Elrohir was hugging his twin so tightly, he couldn’t punish them. Besides,
they had learned their lesson. But one problem still remained.
“You are homeless,
Glorfindel,” Elrond said in a thoughtful voice.
Elladan, who had calmed
during Glorfindel’s speech, began to cry harder again. “I never wanted to set
fire to your rooms!”
Elrohir slowly rocked his
brother in his embrace and rested his chin on Elladan’s shoulder. “Do not
worry.
“You have a point,”
Glorfindel murmured as he pushed himself to his feet. He playfully ruffled
Elladan’s hair in the hope that the gesture would distract the Elfling. His
heart ached as he saw Elladan weep and heard him choke on his sobs. “I have no
place to live.” Looking about, he frowned at seeing the devastation. Not even
his books, scrolls, or drawings had escaped the fire. Nothing but ash remained.
Celebrían carefully
cleared her throat and by doing so, drew Elrond’s and Glorfindel’s attention.
“One suite in the family wing is empty.”
Elrond grew pale and he
slowly shook his head. “Surely you are not suggesting Glorfindel moves in
*there*?” His wife was right: one suite was uninhabited and it was a spacious
suite with a lovely view of the gardens and the waterfall. But those rooms came
with a history and there was a reason why Elrond had not offered them to anyone
before. They were haunted.
But Glorfindel didn’t know
that. The Captain had joined them five years ago and had never heard of the
tragic death that had occurred in that suite. Elrond frowned; maybe it would
work, since Glorfindel didn’t know about the rooms’ ghastly history. Glorfindel
would be unaffected and not bothered. It might work.
Celebrían gave her husband
an impatient look. She also knew about the curse that haunted the rooms, but
the same thought had occurred to her – if one didn’t know that the suite was
haunted, one wouldn’t be affected by it. Also, they were kept in a perfect
state because the phenomena would worsen if the rooms were ignored by the
household staff. There were fresh linens on the bed and the rooms were always
ventilated. “It would only be for a few nights.” They would start working on
fixing Glorfindel’s rooms the next day.
Glorfindel was aware of
the fact that Celebrían’s idea didn’t exactly thrill Elrond, but felt too dazed
by what had happened to question the half-Elf’s original reluctance to follow
his wife’s advise. “I do not mind where I sleep, Elrond, as long as the room
has a bed.” At that time, Glorfindel had no idea that those words would upend
his life.
~~~
Glorfindel gave Elrond a
grateful look. “Thank you for allowing me to borrow some of your robes. It
feels odd having none myself.” Glorfindel wondered about the unease that
radiated from his friend’s gray eyes. Ever since they had entered the chosen
rooms, Elrond had started to act jittery and it was clear that the half-Elf
wanted out.
“Is something wrong with
these rooms?” Glorfindel took in his surroundings. The suite had three rooms
plus a luxurious bathroom. There was a study, a bedroom, and a living area, and
all were lavishly furnished. Tapestries hung from the walls and drawings
brightened up the bedroom. The walls, bed linens, and rugs carried different
shades of brown and green, which made him feel very much at home. So why was
Elrond anxiously plotting his route over to the doorway? “Elrond?”
Elrond felt trapped. He
wanted out of the suite. The atmosphere in there was suffocating and he didn’t
know how much longer he could bear being in there.
“Elrond? I asked you a
question. Why are you so pale? And why are your hands shaking?” Glorfindel
walked up to the half-Elf and gathered Elrond’s hands in his. They were clammy,
cold, and shook. “You look terrified.”
Elrond broke down. He
couldn’t lie to his friend and had to warn him. “Come, stay in the guest wing
for the next few days. These rooms are not suited for you to live in.” He
pulled free of Glorfindel’s hands, walked over to the bed, and collected the
robes which he had lent to Glorfindel.
“This suite is just fine.
There is no reason for me to move into the guest wing. I like it here. I will
stay.” Elrond wrung his hands and seeing the half-Elf do so puzzled Glorfindel.
“You want me to leave… Why? What is amiss with these rooms?”
“Oh, I can not lie to
you!” Elrond flung the robes back onto the bed and nervously looked about. He
felt like he was being watched. “You should not stay in these rooms because
they are haunted! Celebrían and I believed that you would not be affected
because you do not know what happened in here, but I can not allow you to stay
here.”
“Haunted? Did you really
say haunted?” Glorfindel arched an eyebrow. “Elrond, there are no such things
as ghosts!” There was nothing wrong with the rooms!
“Oh, do not say that! *He*
might hear you!” Elrond looked about again, feeling nervous. “Must we discuss
this now? Can we not do this in the guest room after you settled down there?”
“Nay, I do not intend to
move out. These rooms are fine!” Glorfindel cocked his head, only just
realizing what Elrond had said. “Who is *he*?” he asked curiously.
“The Elf who once lived
here...Erestor,” Elrond whispered the name, afraid *he* might hear them and
make his presence known. Glorfindel might not believe in ghosts, but there had
been sightings and inexplicable occurrences which had frightened the household
staff. Maids had been seen running out of the suite, pale and shaking from
fear.
“Erestor? I never heard
that name before.” Glorfindel grew curious and seated himself on the bed. The
mattress, filled with feathers, was soft and he knew he would sleep well on it.
He loved soft mattresses.
“He died a few years ago.”
Elrond continued to scan the bed room. Glorfindel patted the space next to him,
but Elrond shook his head. “I do not wish to stay.”
“That is a pity, for I intend
to stay. And I will not let you leave before you have told me the rest of the
tale.” Glorfindel was determined to stay at least one night in the haunted
rooms. “What was Erestor like? How did he die? How come he haunts these rooms?”
Elrond swallowed hard. “I
sense his presence.” Elrond normally wasn’t easily intimidated, but he felt
cornered at the moment.
“Come now, Elrond. Sit
down and tell me this tale. I promise to protect you from Erestor’s ghost.”
Glorfindel’s voice was a mix of both teasing and genuine warmth.
Elrond gave in and
cautiously sat on the edge of the bed. “We should not be here. He does not like
it when strangers invade his privacy.”
“You are speaking of
Erestor?” Glorfindel opened his mind and let his senses go, but couldn’t pick
up on anything foul in the room.
“Aye, I speak of Erestor.”
Elrond realized that Glorfindel would insist on being told the entire tale and
he resigned himself to telling it. “Erestor was my best friend, Glorfindel, a
comrade in arms and my confidante. We met during the Battle of the Last
Alliance. He was Ereinion’s Chief
Advisor and the three of us became friends. I do not know much about Erestor’s
past...he always guarded it well. I do not know where he hailed from or how old
he was. He was shrouded in mystery and not even Ereinion managed to make
Erestor tell his tale.”
Glorfindel shifted on the
bed, rested his back against the headboard, and nodded encouragingly. “What did
he look like?”
Elrond rose from the bed,
opened a drawer in the night stand, and removed a piece of paper from it.
“Ereinion once drew him. Erestor always kept it, cherishing the present.” He
placed the sheet of paper on Glorfindel’s lap and sat down on the bed once more.
Glorfindel raised the
drawing and stared at the portrait in his hands. The Elf within it possessed
long, raven hair, dark almond-shaped eyes, and sensual lips. Dressed in
luxurious formal robes in deep blue and green colors, he definitely looked
handsome. “This is Erestor?” he asked to make certain that he had reached the
right conclusion.
Elrond nodded his head
once. “Aye, that is Erestor.” A melancholy expression appeared in his eyes and
he momentarily forgot that he felt watched and was nervous. “After we lost
Ereinion, Erestor agreed to become my Advisor and we traveled to Imladris.
Together, we had the Last Homely House built, devising ways to keep our borders
safe and Erestor became my most trusted Advisor – my Chief Councilor.”
“It sounds to me like the
two of you had built a partnership.”
“We were best friends,
Glorfindel. There was nothing more – not that I did not want it, but Erestor
never reacted to any advances I made, so when my chance came to wed Celebrían,
I took it. I had finally realized that Erestor was not interested in me in a
romantic way and I am no fool, Glorfindel. I moved on.”
“And yet you remained best
friends?”
“I trusted him unconditionally,
Glorfindel, and he loved me back in his own way. I believe he thought of me as
a brother – a younger brother who he had to watch over.” Elrond smiled sadly.
This was the reason why he avoided coming into these rooms – the memories were
so strong in there.
“What caused his death?”
Glorfindel felt intrigued and wanted to know more about this mysterious Elf.
“It happened the night the
twins were born. I was busy delivering the babies when a troop of Orcs attacked
the Last Homely House. It was utterly stupid of them to do so as they stood no
chance, but the creatures had set their mind on raiding our supplies. But they
did not stay downstairs in the kitchen area. They moved onto the Healing House,
maybe in search of medicinal herbs which could help heal their sustained injuries.”
Glorfindel listened
closely and stared at Elrond. A distant expression had appeared in the gray
eyes and Glorfindel could tell that the half-Elf’s mind had traveled back in
time. Elrond was once more in the Healing House, delivering the twins.
“Erestor was waiting for
me in the waiting area. I had forbidden him to attend the delivery. He was
nervous and kept pacing, which was making me nervous in turn and I had to
concentrate on aiding my wife.” Elrond’s features contorted with old pain.
“Erestor fought the Orcs the best he could, but he was not armed and presented
an easy target. Erestor was not stupid and realized that, so he ran. He ran out
of the Healing House and back into the main house. The Orcs followed him.
Cleverly, Erestor headed for his rooms and, once he was inside, he collected
his weapons.” Elrond pointed at one wall, which was decorated with old swords,
knives, and a cross bow. “They are all Erestor’s.”
Glorfindel nodded.
“Continue.” He was dying to know what had happened next.
“They cornered Erestor. He
was only one Elf against many Orcs. By the time the guards had discovered that
Erestor had led the Orcs away from the Healing House and into his own rooms,
they were too late. When they entered to help Erestor kill the Orcs, they found
Erestor dead instead. The Orcs realized that Erestor had manipulated them and
had vented their anger and frustration on him.” Elrond swallowed hard. “Having
to attend to Erestor’s corpse right after delivering my sons was a shock. I had
just helped new life onto Arda and the next moment, I had to attend to my best
friend’s corpse.”
“What he did was brave,”
Glorfindel mused aloud. “But also foolish. He should have led the Orcs to the
barracks where the guards would have dealt with them.”
Elrond shook his head and
gave Glorfindel a sad look. “He could not do that. You see, in honor of my
sons’ birth I had ordered a feast. Most of the guards were off-duty and making
merry in the Hall of Fire. Had Erestor led the Orcs there, the creatures would
have killed many more Elves.” Elrond guiltily shrugged his shoulders. “In a
way, I am to blame for Erestor’s death. I had grown careless. I was convinced
that nothing evil could touch us and that we were safe. Had Erestor not taken
on the role of decoy and lured those Orcs away from the Healing House, they
might have killed my wife and sons.”
“He sacrificed himself,”
Glorfindel said, finally understanding what had really happened.
“Aye, that is what he did.
I owe Erestor so much…” Elrond’s voice trailed off and he shivered, goose bumps
forming on his skin. “Can you not sense his presence?” To Elrond, Erestor’s
ghost surrounded them.
“In what way does he show
himself to you?” Glorfindel placed the portrait aside and moved closer to
Elrond.
“I can detect his scent –
he always smelled of paper and books, pine and forest. And sometimes, I see the
outlines of his form in the dark. Do not extinguish the lights tonight,
Glorfindel, or you might find him looking at you as well. Sometimes, the staff
finds that the furniture has been moved, or the windows opened. That always
happens when there is a thunderstorm. Erestor was fond of the rain, lightning,
and thunder. He would go outside and laugh whenever a roar of thunder filled
the skies.” Elrond smiled at the fond memories.
“You miss him,” Glorfindel
surmised.
Elrond nodded again. “I do
– each day of my life. He supported and guided me. Sometimes, I feel lost since
he is gone.” Elrond’s expression cracked and the half-Elf allowed Glorfindel to
see how lonely he was. “I miss him, Glorfindel. He was so much more than a
friend.”
Glorfindel frowned and
considered everything Elrond had told him. “You say he haunts these rooms…
Maybe he feels he can not leave yet. Maybe he knows he is still needed.”
Elrond bowed his head.
“That thought occurred to me as well. It causes me great sorrow that I might be
the reason why he can not move on to the Halls of Waiting.”
Glorfindel placed a
comforting hand on Elrond’s shoulder. “What puzzles me is the fact that he is
able to stay in the first place. Each soul is called to the Halls of Waiting
upon death. Trust me when I say it does not work that way for I tried fighting
its pull. You can not simply refuse to go the Halls of Waiting. I do not
believe you are keeping Erestor here. Something happened that made it
impossible for Erestor’s soul to move on.”
“But what can that be? I
never heard of anything happen like that before.” Elrond gave Glorfindel a look
full of hope. “Do you believe you can help him? You have been to the Halls and
returned from them. Maybe you know of a way…” Elrond failed to finish his
sentence and released a strange yelp instead. “Look,” he whispered and pointed
a shaky hand at the window.
Glorfindel followed the
direction Elrond was pointing in and forgot to draw in his next breath when he
came upon a shadowy form standing near the window, which had miraculously
opened. The curtains floated on the breeze and seemed to hug the ghost’s form.
“Is that…?”
“That is Erestor.”
Elrond’s voice trembled.
Glorfindel, curious by
nature, studied the apparition. Erestor wore the same formal robes as he had in
the picture. The raven hair was loose and danced on the wind. The breeze
seemingly enjoyed playing with the strands and blew it into several directions,
making the mane swirl. The hands had disappeared into the long sleeves and no
skin showed, except for the pale facial skin. Glorfindel failed to label the
expression that lingered in the black eyes. He thought he saw misery and
longing there, but there was another emotion mixed in to them – he just
couldn’t identify it.
“Fine, you win. These
rooms are haunted,” Glorfindel said, breaking the icy silence that had formed
between them.
“Erestor…” Elrond raised a
hand as if reaching out to the apparition, but then the hand dropped onto the
bed again. Erestor was dead – a ghost – and beyond his reach.
Glorfindel’s gaze met
Erestor’s. Intrigued, the blond Elf rose from the bed and made his way over to
the ghost. Erestor didn’t move, staying where it was and watching him with
black eyes. Glorfindel raised his hand and reached for the phantom. His hand
passed through the transparent form and when he pulled it back, it felt cold.
“What are you?” Glorfindel asked, cocking his head. “I know who you are. Elrond
told me. But what have you become?” Fascinated, he studied Erestor’s face.
Erestor must have been handsome in life, for he was still attractive in death.
The specter didn’t react.
It simply continued to stare blankly ahead.
Glorfindel stepped into
Erestor’s view and the phantom had no choice but to look at him. The dark eyes
blinked and Erestor seemed to awaken from some sort of trance. Glorfindel
involuntarily sucked in his breath when he finally received his reaction. The
ghost raised a transparent hand and tried to touch his face. Glorfindel didn’t
flinch away and stood his ground. He didn’t move when a mental whisper floated
through the room.
/You are so full of life…/
Elrond shivered. Until
now, Erestor had never tried to communicate. It surprised him that the specter
reached out to Glorfindel and had actually managed to send them a message. What
annoyed him however was the fact that it was Glorfindel Erestor was
communicating with and not Elrond. He had been under the impression that they
had been best friends in life and now Erestor was seemingly ignored him!
“And you are dead…”
Glorfindel considered the apparition in front of him. He was about to ask the
specter in what way he could help Erestor when the ghost grew even more
transparent and a moment later was gone. “Now that was interesting,” Glorfindel
whispered, impressed. “I wonder what that was all about.”
“He appeared interested in
you,” Elrond remarked thoughtfully. “For some reason you caused him to appear
and address you. That is a first. I have seen his ghost before but not once did
he talk to me. I wonder what it is that urged him into action.”
“So do I.” Glorfindel
turned around and walked back toward the bed as he announced, “I am staying,
Elrond. I am not moving into the guest wing.”
This time, Elrond didn’t
try to sway his friend’s mind. “You are hoping that he will appear again. You
are the first to hope that. Most Elves run in shock when they happen upon him.”
“He intrigues me, Elrond.
I want to know the reason why he still lingers here -- trapped in this form
between life and death. He must be in misery. He does not belong to the living
but neither can he dwell with the dead souls in the Halls of Waiting. I do not
believe that he lingers here out of his free will. Something – or someone – is
forcing him to stay and I am not referring to you, Elrond. You do not possess
the power to keep a soul from entering the Halls.”
“But what keeps Erestor in
Imladris then?” Elrond felt confused. Glorfindel had been to the Halls of
Waiting and knew more about this subject than Elrond did. He decided to put his
trust in the Captain. “Do you think you can help him?”
Glorfindel sighed deeply
and shrugged his shoulders. “I do not know if I can. I have never encountered
anything like this before…” Glorfindel considered everything that had just
happened and then said, “But I will try to help him.” He just didn’t know yet
how to set Erestor’s spirit free.
~~~
Glorfindel couldn’t stop
thinking about Erestor. He mused about the ghost during the bath he took and
also when he slipped into the nightshirt Elrond had lent him. Contrary to
Elrond, he didn’t feel watched. He could tell that Erestor wasn’t present at
the moment. However, Glorfindel hoped the specter would visit again later.
It amazed him that he had
never heard of Erestor before. None of the Elves had ever mentioned him. Was
that because they still mourned the loss, or because they were afraid to so
much as speak, or even just whisper, his name?
Glorfindel slipped between
the covers and smiled. The linens smelled of lavender and the fragrance had a
comforting effect on him. He curled up on his side, hugged the pillow close,
and stared at the window, which he had left open. The wind had settled down and
was just a gentle breeze which played with the curtains at the moment. He still
remembered the way the specter had tried to reach out to him. If only it had
worked! Glorfindel had wanted to establish some sort of connection between
them.
Pushing the pillow into a
comfortable shape, Glorfindel tried to make sense of what had happened to
Erestor. The Elf had died, but had not moved on. How was that possible? He had
never heard of Námo failing to guide a soul to his Halls before.
‘You are so full of life,’
was what Erestor’s ghost had said. Did that mean Erestor could still sense the
living? Or rather him to be exact?
“There are too many
questions,” Glorfindel whispered, feeling discouraged.
/I do not have any answers for you, I am afraid,/ came the soft mental whisper.
Glorfindel sat upright abruptly
and stared at the phantom, which had returned to his rooms. Erestor stood next
to the bed. The ghost smiled ruefully at him and once more raised a hand,
trying to touch a lock of his golden hair. “You are back.” Oh now *that* was a
brilliant thing to say...
/You called and so I came./
Glorfindel pushed back the
covers and moved to sit cross-legged. He narrowed his eyes and studied the
ghost closer. He once more focused on the expression in the eyes and saw misery
in them. Glorfindel managed a weak smile and relied on his charms to guide him.
“I have not introduced myself yet. My name is Glorfindel.”
The specter nodded his
head. /I know. I have watched you for
years./
Glorfindel felt surprised
at hearing that. “You did?”
/You were to be the twins’ teacher, so aye, I
watched you. The night they were born I died in order to protect them and their
mother. I watch over them./
“I never noticed a thing.”
Glorfindel was intrigued. “Why do you show yourself to me now? Because I am
occupying your rooms?”
/My form manifests the strongest here. I find it
impossible to appear outside of these rooms./
Glorfindel inched closer
and cocked his head. “Elrond said that you never talk to him.”
/Elrond is too afraid to listen to me. He does not
want to hear me. In the beginning, I tried to communicate with him, but he ran
away in fear./
Impulsively, Glorfindel
raised a hand and tried to touch Erestor again, but his hand passed through the
form. “What are you?”
/I do not know. One moment I was fighting off those
Orcs and the next… I can not describe the sensation. This is how I exist./
“I feel for you,”
Glorfindel admitted honestly. “You must be in pain.”
/Not exactly… I do not know how to explain this
you./
“Please try…”
“I linger… I can not leave the Last Homely House. I
tried, but I am chained to this house./
Glorfindel’s curiosity
increased. “How come you can communicate with me now?”
/You are not afraid of me. You opened your mind
when Elrond told you that I haunt these rooms. You are curious and sooooo full
of life./
Glorfindel heard the
longing in the mental voice. “How can I help, Erestor?”
/I do not believe that you can help me. I am beyond
help. I will linger here forever./
The immense sadness that
echoed in those words made Glorfindel’s eyes water. “There must be something I
can do to help. Maybe offer you some advice? Why did you not follow Námo’s
call? Your soul should have traveled to the Halls of Waiting.”
/I never heard a call. It was silent… It has been
silent ever since. No one called me./
Glorfindel shook his head.
“That can not be. Námo would never be remiss. He would not forget to call you.”
He *knew* from personal experience that Námo took his duties very seriously.
/Are you calling me a liar, Glorfindel?/
Glorfindel cringed. “It
was not my intention to insult you, Erestor. I am merely trying to figure out
what went wrong.” The specter nodded his head and Glorfindel offered Erestor an
apologetic smile in turn. “I *do* want to help, Erestor. I feel a kinship with
you.”
/Because you died and traveled to the Halls of
Waiting?/
Nodding his head,
Glorfindel said, “Aye that is it. I want to help because I know what it is like
to be trapped. I felt trapped when I stayed in the Halls of Waiting. Your fate
is even worse than mine. You never made it to the Halls.”
/I wish you had come to Imladris earlier,
Glorfindel. We would have become good friends. I like you./
Glorfindel beamed proudly.
“I do not really know you, Erestor, but I like you as well. I did not have the
advantage of watching you for years to know you. I hope you will give me a
chance to make up for that.”
/I would like that. Most Elves are afraid of me.
They run away and never give me a chance to make contact with them. You are
different./
“I am not afraid of you.
If anything I feel intrigued.”
/I can sense that… But you must realize that we can
only talk when you are in these rooms./
“I understand… And do not
worry. The twins set my rooms afire. I will be staying in yours instead.”
/They did not do it on purpose. I saw it happen, but
could not stop it./
“I do not blame them. They
are young. They need to learn about danger.” Glorfindel pulled his knees to his
chest, wrapped his arms around them, and rested his chin atop. “I like talking
to you,” he said.
/It has been years since I lasted talked to anyone.
I like talking to you too./
Glorfindel sensed the sincerity
in that statement. “Will you return here to talk to me tomorrow evening? I will
retire early.”
The specter nodded its
head. /I will be here… There is so much
life inside you, Glorfindel. It calls to me./
And Glorfindel felt drawn
to Erestor...almost magically.
/I must go now… I feel weak./
Erestor’s words puzzled
Glorfindel. “But you are a ghost… How can you feel weak?”
/I do not know what I have become, Glorfindel. How
come you do?/
Erestor’s words hit
Glorfindel like a cold shower. Aye, how had he reached that conclusion? Because
Elrond had said so... “If you are not a ghost, then what are you, Erestor?”
/I do not know, Glorfindel. I was hoping you could
find out for me./
A trusting expression
appeared on the specter’s face and Glorfindel felt strangely honored that
Erestor had chosen him to embark on this quest. “I promise you I *will* find
out,” Glorfindel declared, meaning every word of it.
/That is what I hoped you would say./
Erestor’s form grew
transparent and a moment later Glorfindel was alone again. He had a lot to
think about.
~~~
Later the next afternoon,
Glorfindel sought out Elrond in the Elf-Lord’s private rooms. While Celebrían slept
on the bed in the adjourning room, Elrond was playing with the twins on the rug
in the living area. “Can we speak?” Glorfindel asked and remained standing near
the doorway. He didn’t want to intrude, knowing how rare private moments like
these were for the Lord of Imladris.
Elrond looked at
Glorfindel from where he sat cross-legged. Elrohir had snuggled up on his lap
and was already half asleep. Elladan however had risen from the floor upon
seeing Glorfindel enter and was toddling toward the golden-haired Elf. He still
felt guilty for burning down Glorfindel’s rooms, even though it had happened
unwanted.
Seeing the guilty
expression in the Elfling’s gray eyes, Glorfindel gave Elladan an encouraging
smile.
“Aye, we can speak. Why do
you not sit down and help me put them to sleep?” It was time for the twins to
take their afternoon nap. Elrohir wouldn’t cause any problems since the child
was already on his way into the realms of dreams.
Glorfindel seated himself
on the rug, opened his arms, and caught a trembling Elladan in them. “I told
you before,” the warrior said. “I am not cross with you. I do not blame you. It
was an accident and I know that.” He ruffled the boy’s dark hair and pulled him
into his lap. Elladan snuggled up to him and rested his head against
Glorfindel’s shoulder.
“I am sorry,” Elladan
whispered culpably. “You are homeless now and that is my fault.”
“I would not call it
that,” Glorfindel answered, chuckling softly. He took to stroking Elladan’s
hair soothingly and listened closely, hoping the Elfling’s breathing would even
out in the sign that he was falling asleep. “I have a new suite now and I like
living there, so do not worry about me being homeless. That is not the case.”
Elrond gave Glorfindel a
quizzical look at hearing that. “You like living there?”
Glorfindel nodded his head
once. He continued to stroke Elladan’s hair and the Elfling finally dozed off.
Constantly feeling guilty had worn him down. “I do,” Glorfindel mumbled. He
waited until he was absolutely certain that the Elflings were asleep and then
addressed Elrond in earnest. “Erestor’s ghost visited me again last night.”
“He did?” Elrond looked excitedly
at Glorfindel. “Did he speak to you again?”
“He did. He told me that
he had tried to make contact with you, but that he had failed because you fear
him. He tried to contact you, Elrond. He still cares about you.” Glorfindel had
seen the desolate look on Elrond’s face the other day when Erestor had
addressed Glorfindel and not Elrond.
Elrond bowed his head and
closed his eyes. “I still miss him.”
“Elrond, I need to know
what happened during that attack. I promised Erestor I would find out why his
soul can not move on. He needs our help. He asked for it, Elrond.”
Elrond raised his head and
gave Glorfindel a hopeful look. “I want to help as well.”
“I know you do.”
Glorfindel continued to stroke Elladan’s hair and twined a lock around a
finger. “Elrond, what do you remember about that fateful night?”
“I already told you all that
I know…” Elrond shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “Erestor lured them into his
rooms and died fighting them.”
“What injury caused his
death?” Glorfindel needed more information. He *knew* he was missing something,
but what?
“A blow to the back of his
head… I believe. I had just delivered my sons, my wife needed me, and I was
worn down and overcome with grief. I did my best to take care of his remains…”
Another pang of guilt assailed Elrond. “I did my best.”
“I do not question your
integrity,” Glorfindel said quickly. “I am merely trying to find the answers to
Erestor’s questions.” Glorfindel considered what Elrond had told him. “You can
not say for certain what killed Erestor?”
Elrond gave Glorfindel a
pleading look. “I had so little time to examine him. My wife needed me, my sons
were wailing, and the guards, finally armed, were busy chasing off the
remaining Orcs. It was mayhem, Glorfindel.”
“I do not blame you in any
way, Elrond. And neither does Erestor.” Glorfindel saw Elrond was fighting the
tears which threatened to flow from his eyes. Sudden curiosity made him ask,
“What happened to his remains, Elrond?”
Elrond cringed at having
to remember the painful past. “We did not put his body on the pyre as he once
asked me to. I could not stand there and watch him burn. I could not…” Elrond
coughed in order to cover up the catch to his voice. “I had a tomb erected for
him and we put him to rest there.”
“A tomb?” This was
interesting news. “And where is that tomb located?”
“Near the Bruinen. Erestor
always loved going there to sit and watch the water during the night when
Ithil’s silver light danced on the surface.” Elrond saw the expression on
Glorfindel’s face and dreaded the next question Glorfindel would direct at him,
for he knew exactly what that question would be.
“Can you take me there later?
I want to see it.” Glorfindel hoped they could go there before nightfall
because he wanted to retire early that night, like he had promised Erestor’s
ghost he would.
Elrond knew there was no
way out and in a way he owed it to Glorfindel to do this. After all, it had
been his wife’s and his idea to assign Erestor’s former rooms to Glorfindel. “I
will take you there.”
“When?”
“Now. We will put the
twins to bed and then we will walk to the banks of the Bruinen. I will show you
Erestor’s tomb.” Elrond stood and, so as to not wake Elrohir, carefully carried
his son over to the bed. He put Elrohir down and the Elfling instantly snuggled
up to his mother, who was also still asleep.
Glorfindel followed
Elrond’s example and pried Elladan’s fingers free from his golden hair. Next,
he placed the Elfling onto the bed as well and Elladan curled up to Elrohir,
burying his twin in a tight hug. “Those two will always have each other,”
Glorfindel said unexpectedly.
Elrond smiled at hearing
that. “You are right, Glorfindel. They love each other.” But then the smile
faded from his face and he sobered. “We should leave now. I want to be back
before nightfall.” He didn’t want to leave his family alone for long.
“Let us leave then.”
Glorfindel headed for the doorway. “Let us do this.” He only hoped that he
would find some clues to why Erestor was still haunting the Last Homely House.
~~~
The tomb was smaller than
Glorfindel had thought it would be. It was just big enough to contain Erestor’s
remains. Decorations had been carved into the stone and the tomb stood between
the trees and bushes, which had flourished during the last few years. They hid
the tomb from view. Only someone who knew it was there would find it.
Erestor and Glorfindel
stood near the tomb and both Elves were busy sorting out his thoughts.
“During the first year of
Erestor’s death I came here often. I found comfort here, but that changed once
he started to haunt the house.”
Glorfindel placed his
hands onto the stone, almost hoping for some sort of magical revelation, but
nothing happened. The stone felt cold and dead beneath his fingers. “How did
you attend to his remains?”
“We removed his robes since
they were covered in his blood. We washed and dressed him in his favorite robes
and then we wrapped him in soft fabrics. We laid him to rest here.” Elrond’s
eyes shimmered with tears as the memories returned to torment him.
Glorfindel removed his
hands and stared at the tomb. There had been no reaction to his touch, no ghost
had miraculously appeared and talked to him. “There is nothing here.”
Elrond nodded. “Here you
will only find death.”
Disappointed, Glorfindel
was forced to agree with Elrond. He would learn nothing about Erestor there. It
was time to return to his rooms and question Erestor’s ghost for more
information.
~~~
Glorfindel had to wait for
a while before Erestor’s ghost finally joined him. The warrior had eaten a bite
and was sipping some wine. He sat in the living area and watched the fire dance
in the fire place. He sensed the ghost’s presence before he saw Erestor.
/Did you find out anything at all?/
Erestor stood next to a
comfortable chair. Lifting his goblet, Glorfindel inclined his head, silently
asking Erestor to approach. The apparition floated closer toward him, but still
remained at a respectful distance. “You do not frighten me,” Glorfindel said,
thinking that it was the reason why Erestor was so reluctant to approach.
/I know I do not frighten you. I sense no fear in
you./
Something in Erestor’s
expression told Glorfindel that the specter had come in the hope of finding
answers. “I visited your tomb today.”
/My tomb? I did not know I had one./
“Elrond told me that he
could not bear to see your remains burn so he erected a tomb to honor you. It
is located near the Bruinen.” Glorfindel was puzzled as to why Erestor didn’t
know this. “Can you not stretch your…” Oh, what was he to call Erestor’s
essence? “Your mind that far?”
/I can not reach beyond the Last Homely House. I am
chained to the house – these rooms to be exact./
Glorfindel rose from his
chair and advanced on the specter. Even in death Erestor looked handsome. “I
wish I had known you in life,” Glorfindel admitted in a soft voice. “We would
have become good friends.”
/And you can not be friends with me now?/
Glorfindel smiled ruefully
at that. “Erestor, what are you?” he answered Erestor’s question with one of
his own.
/I do not believe I am a ghost./
Erestor’s answer surprised
Glorfindel. “You do not? How did you reach that conclusion?” Erestor’s form shimmered
with some unknown force and momentarily grew stronger.
/Because I do not believe I am dead. I considered
everything you said last night and it made me think. I never heard Námo’s call
and you said yourself that he would never be remiss in such a way. Glorfindel…/
Glorfindel quivered at
hearing his name vibrate inside his head with such intensity to it. “What?”
/Glorfindel, what if I did not die that night? Can
it be that I am trapped between life and death because my body is trapped between
those two states?/
Glorfindel forgot to draw
in his next breath. The theory Erestor had uttered was too dreadful to think
about. “Then Elrond would have buried you alive.” Shivers ran down his spine in
shock. However, Erestor’s theory would explain why the Advisor hadn’t been
called to the Halls of Waiting.
“By the Valar, that can
not have happened. Elrond would not have made that mistake…” But then Elrond’s
words returned to him. The half-Elf had been stressed, had rushed in taking
care of Erestor’s body, and might not have noticed that his Advisor was hanging
on by the skin of his teeth.
Shaken, Glorfindel
collapsed onto his chair again. “By Elbereth… This happened years ago! How
could you have survived for so long, being buried alive?” Erestor’s expression
had become thoughtful and even seemed pained.
/I always was strong, Glorfindel. Stronger than the
rest./
Glorfindel’s head reeled.
“Erestor, if your theory is correct then… then…” Glorfindel’s heart missed a
beat from shock. “Then you are still buried alive. By Elbereth, I need to find
out if… if…” The shock was too much and he needed a moment to compose himself. His
hands shook when they curled around the arm rest. “If you are still alive.”
Glorfindel shook his head. “I should have realized that option existed before.
Why did I not? Námo did not call you because you are still alive!”
/It occurred to me that Elrond might have mistaken
my weakened state for death. I do not know if I reached the right conclusion,
Glorfindel./
Erestor’s expression spoke
of hope – hope which he had placed in Glorfindel, and the warrior was
determined not to let the Advisor down. “I am going to investigate now!”
/It is the dead of night. You need not bother now.
I have waited years. I can wait one more night./
But Glorfindel nodded his
head. He had long noticed the longing and heartened expression on the specter’s
face. “Nay, Erestor. This can not wait. I am going there now…and I am taking
Elrond with me!”
/Glorfindel! Nay, do not take Elrond…/ But Erestor didn’t acquire a chance to finish as
Glorfindel already hurried out of the room.
~~~
“Elrond, wake up! We are
leaving! Now!” Glorfindel banged on the half-Elf’s door, ignoring the fact that
he was practically waking everyone in the vicinity. He hoped the twins were
asleep in the nursery and that their sleep remained undisturbed. “Elrond, wake
up! Open this door!”
A moment later, a
sleep-tousled Elrond opened the door. His gray eyes were dark with shock and
his nightshirt rumpled. “Glorfindel, it is the middle of the night. Stop
banging on my door!” He was grateful that his wife had decided to sleep in the
nursery that night because Glorfindel’s banging would have woken her up. “What
do you want?”
Glorfindel grabbed hold of
Elrond’s shirt and began to pull the Elf-Lord back into the room. “Put these
on. We are leaving.” He handed Elrond his formal robes and his boots.
Elrond decided it would be
best not to evoke Glorfindel’s anger since the warrior was already upset.
“Where are we going? Glorfindel, please reconsider. Whatever needs to be done
can be done tomorrow!”
“Nay, this matter can not
wait.” Glorfindel impatiently shuffled his feet and watched Elrond dress.
“Hurry! Our escort is already waiting for us to join them.”
“Our escort?” Elrond
considered putting up some resistance after all, but Glorfindel surprised him
by grabbing hold of his arm and dragging him into the corridor. “Glorfindel,
explain yourself! And do it now!”
“We are going to Erestor’s
tomb. I had another visitation tonight and Erestor told me that he did not
believe he was dead!” Glorfindel succeeded in dragging Elrond out to the
courtyard and headed for their escort. He had selected ten guards to accompany
them and had told them to bring axes so they could open the tomb.
Elrond froze and his
sudden stop forced Glorfindel to a halt. “What did you say?” He must have
misheard!
“Erestor thinks he is not
dead. Námo never called him to the Halls of Waiting. That is why he lingers
here.” Fed up with Elrond’s slow pace, Glorfindel pulled the Elf-Lord to the
black stallion Elrond favored and told the half-Elf to mount. He did the same
and mounted Asfaloth. “I am going to open that tomb, Elrond. I need to know if
he is right.”
Elrond had mounted his
stallion and felt entranced. “That can not be true. Erestor has reached the
wrong conclusion, Glorfindel. Erestor was dead…is dead.”
“Then why did Námo not
call him?” Glorfindel gave Elrond a challenging look and then raised a hand to
signal to the guards that they were about to leave. “I am determined to find
out, Elrond. If he is still alive…”
Elrond felt beyond
shocked. The mere thought that he could have buried Erestor alive froze the
blood in his veins. “I could not have made such a mistake!” He would never
forgive himself if he had!
“We need to find out!”
Glorfindel pressed his heels into Asfaloth’s flanks and the stallion came
alive, carrying his rider away from the courtyard.
Elrond followed, but not
before looking over his shoulder at the suite which Erestor used to occupy. His
gaze sought out the window to Erestor’s apartment and he swallowed hard as he
saw the specter there. Erestor looked worried and was slowly shaking his head.
/I am sorry if I failed you, Erestor. I would never forgive myself if I buried
you alive. Glorfindel is right: we need to make certain. If you are still alive
you have been in a state between life and death for years. What did that do to
you?/ And why hadn’t he thought of the possibility before?
/I do not blame you, Elrond. You did what you
thought was best./
Hearing Erestor’s voice in
his head took Elrond aback. He bowed his head and prayed to the Valar that he
had not made such a grave mistake – for if he had, he had damned Erestor to
this half-life.
~~~
Erestor watched the group
of Elves leave with mixed feelings. He had become used to his shadowed
existence and, if it hadn’t been for Glorfindel, he would never have tried to
figure out why he still lingered there. He would have gone on to accept his
half-life. But Glorfindel had come to his rooms and had changed everything.
He didn’t know what
Glorfindel would find once the warrior opened the tomb. A part of him hoped he
was still alive, for then he would have a chance to meet Glorfindel in life.
But another part of him didn’t want to be right, because finding him alive
would cause Elrond great pain. He knew the half-Elf and also knew that Elrond
would never forgive himself for burying him alive.
~~~
Elrond’s nervousness grew as
they arrived at the tomb. Since he felt too unbalanced to take charge, he let
Glorfindel instruct the guards. From a distance, he watched how they opened the
tomb. He wrung his hands, unable to hide his distress.
The lid was lifted and
Elrond couldn’t maintain his distance any longer. He inched closer to the tomb.
He expected a sickening smell to hit them – the stench of decomposition, but
that never happened. Instead, a sweet scent filled his nostrils.
Glorfindel had been brave
during the last hour, but once the lid had been lifted and moved away, he was
confronted with the fabrics in which Elrond had wrapped Erestor’s remains. The
fabric was still intact and a crimson cocoon obscured Erestor from his view.
“We have to follow through,” he said, but his voice had a catch to it. He was
nervous too.
The guards looked
questioningly at their Lords. What would Elrond and Glorfindel do next?
Glorfindel drew in a deep
breath and advanced on the cocooned body. What if Erestor was dead and
decomposing? But if that was the case, then why was there no unpleasant smell?
And what if the Advisor was still alive? His hand trembled when he reached out
to push the fabric aside.
Elrond’s heart thundered
in his throat and he shook like a leaf. Could it really be that Erestor had
somehow survived? He dreaded to think of that possibility! But the next moment
he chided himself. If there was a chance that Erestor was still alive he had to
embrace it for his friend’s sake. He couldn’t lose himself in self-pity and
guilt!
Glorfindel pushed the
fabric aside and trembled when he finally bared Erestor’s face to him. The
first thing he noticed were the eyes – the dark-brown eyes were open.
“I closed them before
putting him to rest,” Elrond mumbled. He had finally found the courage to join
Glorfindel at the tomb and now stared, entranced, at his friend’s face, which
showed no sign of decay. “How can this be?” Elrond’s voice revealed every
emotion he was experiencing. He felt like he was losing control and would turn
hysterical any moment. “Glorfindel, tell me I did not…”
Glorfindel proceeded to
push the rest of the fabric aside, revealing Erestor’s body to them. There was
no sign of decay, no stench of decomposition, and the right hand…the right hand
twitched. “He is still alive!” Glorfindel pointed at Erestor’s fingers, which
trembled.
Elrond wanted to scream
out at the heavens, but he didn’t, knowing he had to maintain a composed
appearance in front of Glorfindel and the guards. He would break down later. At
the moment, he had to be strong! “Let me…” Elrond moved closer and placed the
palm of his hand against Erestor’s brow. Channeling his healing power, he sent
some of it into Erestor’s form. Erestor’s chest suddenly heaved and a raspy
sound tumbled from the pale lips. “He *is* alive…” Elrond whispered, shocked to
the core of his being.
“Then we must act!”
Glorfindel acted resolutely and pushed his arms beneath Erestor’s form. He
lifted the Advisor from the cold stone he had been resting on and was shocked
to find out just how little the other Elf weighed. But why was he surprised? He
*knew* that Erestor had been locked in the tomb for years. It was nothing but a
miracle that the Advisor still lived! “I have you now,” he whispered and felt
pained when there was no reaction on Erestor’s part. But that was to be
expected...Erestor was nothing but the living dead at the moment.
Elrond was still shaking
his head. He couldn’t believe he had made such a grave mistake in judgment. “He
was dead, Glorfindel. He was dead! I would never bury my best friend alive!”
Guilt, shame, and horror filled the half-Elf and he felt defeated. “I did that
to him,” he added shakily. “I did.”
“You are not to blame.”
Glorfindel cradled Erestor’s motionless form close to his chest and made his
way over to Asfaloth. He whispered into the stallion’s ear and Asfaloth went
down onto his knees, enabling Glorfindel to put Erestor onto the horse’s back.
The Captain mounted as well and wrapped his arms around Erestor. He didn’t want
to do this, but he needed Elrond alert and ready to act in case Erestor’s state
suddenly changed. “Elrond, my friend, this is not about you! We have to put
Erestor’s needs first. Do not give in to self-pity and guilt! You must be
strong now! Strong for Erestor!”
Elrond nodded his head
once and gathered his strength. “You are right, of course.” He had to put the
negative feelings aside for the present. His gaze sought out Erestor again. The
fabric which had been wrapped around the Advisor’s form had slipped and
revealed more of the Advisor’s state. The raven hair, which had reached
Erestor’s lower back all those years ago, had grown even longer and probably
reached the back of Erestor’s knees now. The eyes – which he remembered to be
alert and cunning – stared at him without expression. The lips, pale and almost
bordering on blue, didn’t move. Erestor’s face was a pale mask and the Advisor
could have passed for one of the dead, but Elrond knew better now. His friend
was still alive. But how was that possible? How had Erestor survived, locked
away in that dreadful tomb?
/If I had burned his body,
like Erestor always wanted me to, I would have burned him alive./ He thanked
the Valar that he had followed his instincts and had not had that pyre erected.
/Instead, I damned him to a living hell./
“Elrond, we should leave
now!” Glorfindel understood that Elrond was flooded with guilt and maybe even
self-hatred, but he couldn’t allow for that to happen at the moment. He needed
Elrond alert. “We are going home!” It frustrated him that he couldn’t
concentrate wholly on Erestor since Elrond was overcome with emotion. Erestor
needed him the most!
Elrond had had time to
compose himself and nodded his head. “We are leaving now!” he repeated
Glorfindel’s words. He looked at the guards, told them to mount, and mounted
his own stallion. “We will take care of him now,” he said in an effort to
comfort Glorfindel.
Glorfindel felt relieved as
Elrond finally took charge for it gave him a chance to focus on Erestor. “I
have you now. You were right, Erestor. You never heard Námo’s call because you
never died.” Erestor’s raven hair moved against his cheek and the head came to
rest against his shoulder. Erestor felt cold against him – cold and gaunt, but
he also felt life stir inside the Advisor. “It looks like we will receive our
chance to know each other in life, Erestor.”
Erestor felt trapped in
his body. He had heard everything Glorfindel had said and was aware of being
held close, inhaling the fresh scents that drifted on the midnight air while
soaking up the warrior’s body heat. In his mind, he was very much alive and
alert. His body, however, seemed cold and dead – something alien.
Sensing Erestor’s
distress, Glorfindel attempted to soothe his charge. “You are still very weak,
Erestor. Do not attempt speech or to move. Just rest. Elrond and I will take
good care of you. Your nightmare has come to an end. Welcome back to life, my
friend.”
Even if his vocal cords
had cooperated, his lips had moved, and sounds had tumbled from his lips,
Erestor would never have found the right words to thank Glorfindel for rescuing
him from his miserable existence. Without the warrior, he would have lingered
on for many more years, until, eventually, he would have succumbed to death.
~~~
“Take him to the Healing
House, Glorfindel. I need to examine him and we need to attend to his needs.”
Elrond dismounted and fought hard to subdue the emotions that raged inside him.
Years ago, he had led the procession that had taken Erestor’s body to the tomb
and had believed his friend dead. Now, they were bringing him back. It was a
lot to take in.
Glorfindel faced a
dilemma. He couldn’t possibly dismount while holding Erestor close to his
chest. There was no way around it: he had to hand his charge to Elrond.
Elrond felt apprehensive
when he accepted his friend’s gaunt form into his arms. Erestor’s long hair
dragged over the ground and the head lolled against the half-Elf’s chest. /I am
so sorry, Erestor. I let you down./
“Elrond, hand him back to
me.” After he had dismounted, Glorfindel held his arms out and his voice broke
the trance Elrond was in. The half-Elf gently eased Erestor into Glorfindel’s
arms and then headed for the Healing House to prepare for his friends’ arrival.
He also needed a moment to accept that Erestor had returned home.
“I hope you will recover
quickly,” Glorfindel said softly to Erestor. “I meant it when I said that I
wanted to know you better.” He studied the fixated pupils and wondered if
Erestor registered his presence. Did the Advisor know who Glorfindel was or
would the Advisor have forgotten their nightly conversations upon regaining his
wits? “That does not matter,” Glorfindel mused aloud. “Even if you have
forgotten about me, I will find a way into your life. I am not leaving you.”
All Erestor could do was
stare at Glorfindel in wonder. He had sensed Elrond’s unease – the half-Elf’s
distress – and experiencing those feelings had upset him in turn. He wanted
Glorfindel close and not Elrond. The half-Elf oozed discomfort and guilt and
those feelings affected him as well.
Erestor tried to smile at
Glorfindel, but his facial muscles had been idle for too long and wouldn’t
cooperate. /You are the most beautiful Elf I have ever seen,/ Erestor thought,
believing that Glorfindel could no longer receive his thoughts. Otherwise, he
would never have thought it since he didn’t want to embarrass either one of
them.
Glorfindel’s perplexed,
but pleased, smile took Erestor aback. The warrior couldn’t have heard that! “Well,
thank you for that compliment!”
Had Erestor been capable
of blushing, he would have done so, but his pale complexion remained colorless.
/How can you have heard that?/
“I just did.” Glorfindel’s
smile grew even wider. “I am relieved that we can still communicate this way,
especially since you are incapable of speech.”
/I feel weak… I can not
move – nor speak. Keeping my eyes open hurts./
“Then why do you not close
them and rest?” Glorfindel pulled Erestor closer to his chest and stared into
the brown eyes, which carried a pained expression. “Elrond and I will watch
over you.”
/Elrond blames himself for
what happened./ Erestor wouldn’t have spoken the words aloud for he didn’t want
to hurt anyone’s feelings, but Elrond couldn’t hear his thoughts. However, the
Captain did and he didn’t mind that.
“He does… He needs time,
Erestor. Just like you do.” They had reached the Healing House and Glorfindel
followed one of the healers into an examination room where Elrond was already
waiting for them. Elrond had had warm water brought to the room and next to the
bowl were wash cloths, towels, and warm comfortable robes. “I mean it, Erestor.
Try to rest. Try to sleep.”
Erestor shuddered as he
saw the items set out on the floor next to the bed. Elrond looked to be planning
on examining him, cleaning him up, and then putting him to bed. He didn’t want
to feel their hands on his skinny and exhausted body and took the way out
Glorfindel had suggested to him. He closed his eyes – which was uncommon for an
Elf to do – and let himself fall into the trance-like state in which he had
survived the last few years.
Elrond actually felt
relieved as he saw Erestor close his eyes and go to sleep. He wasn’t ready yet
to face his friend head on. First he had to find a way to deal with his
overwhelming guilt. “We need to remove the shroud.”
Working together, they rid
themselves of all the fabric Erestor had been wrapped up in. Glorfindel drew in
a deep, steadying breath when Erestor’s form lay naked in front of him. The
Advisor was nothing but skin and bones. Glorfindel could easily count Erestor’s
ribs and he wept silent tears as he washed the emaciated body.
They worked quickly and
silently. Both Elves felt relieved when they could finally put the robes onto
Erestor. The long hair had been washed, combed, and Elrond was busy braiding it
into a loose braid. He had been right: the long raven hair almost reached the
back of Erestor’s knees...that was how long it had grown.
Once Erestor was dressed
in comfortable robes that would keep him warm, Glorfindel gave Elrond a
thoughtful look. The half-Elf had examined Erestor, but still had to speak of
his findings.
“He is weak,” Elrond said
eventually. “So very weak.”
“But the injuries he
suffered all those years ago have healed,” Glorfindel observed.
Elrond nodded. “The wounds
have closed and healed. It is nothing short of a miracle. Any other Elf would not
have survived, let alone heal under such dire circumstances.” Elrond bowed his
head. “How can I ever face him again, Glorfindel? I condemned him to a living
death! How he must have despaired, finding himself trapped in that tomb.”
But Glorfindel shook his
head. “I do not think he had realized what had happened to him until he and I had
first met. Our conversation started him thinking.”
“How can I ever make
amends for making such a grave mistake?” Elrond looked at Glorfindel and gave
his friend a pleading look.
“I do not believe Erestor
blames you.” Glorfindel took a step closer to Elrond and squeezed the
half-Elf’s shoulder. “Please, Elrond. Please remember that this must be about
Erestor for now. It can not be about you.”
“I know that. It is just…these
feelings are overwhelming.” Elrond cringed as he realized that he had to tell
Celebrían that Erestor was still alive. His wife and Erestor had been close
friends and she had mourned the loss like he had. How would she react upon
learning of the terrible mistake in judgment he had made?
Glorfindel curled his
fingers around Erestor’s hand and smiled at the sleeping Elf. “Must he stay
here? I believe he would be more at ease in his rooms.”
“There is no real reason
to keep him here. I can check on him in his rooms as well.” What Erestor needed
was food, water, rest, and attention, and Elrond was certain that Glorfindel
would provide those. “You may take him to his rooms.” Glorfindel had raised a
valid point. Erestor *would* feel more comfortable in his rooms.
Glorfindel pushed his arms
beneath Erestor’s body and the fabric of the robes rustled when he lifted the
gaunt Elf from the bed. “I will carry him.”
Elrond had expected no
less. Glorfindel had saved Erestor in more ways than one. The Captain hadn’t
been afraid of Erestor, hadn’t been guilt-ridden, and those two things had
enabled Erestor to communicate with Glorfindel. /I failed you in so many ways./
Elrond didn’t follow when Glorfindel carried Erestor into the corridor. He felt
like he had lost the right to meddle in Erestor’s affairs. Keeping Erestor safe
and seeing him heal was Glorfindel’s affair now.
~~~
Glorfindel laid Erestor
down onto the bed and covered the sleeping Elf with the warm blankets and furs.
He pulled up a chair, raised his feet, and rested them on the side of Erestor’s
bed. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and studied Erestor’s sunken
features. A part of him found it hard to believe that Erestor was alive,
relatively well, and resting in his very own bed. The first thing Glorfindel
would do when Erestor woke up was to put some miruvor, water, and food inside
the skinny Elf.
It might have sounded odd,
but Glorfindel was doing his best not to think too loudly. He was afraid that
his thoughts might cause Erestor to wake up and he didn’t want that. Erestor
needed to rest.
Glorfindel found great
comfort in the fact that Erestor was sound asleep. He had been afraid that the
Advisor’s dreams might be full of nightmares, but Erestor’s sleep remained
undisturbed and Glorfindel lost track of the hours that passed by.
Sometime during the night,
Celebrían visited with them. The she-Elf looked distressed when she seated
herself on the side of Erestor’s bed. She stared at Erestor in shock and her
hand hovered above Erestor’s brow, but she didn’t touch him. It almost seemed
like she was afraid to do so. “You will not cause him any discomfort if you
touch him,” Glorfindel whispered in an effort to reassure her.
Celebrían’s gaze remained
trained on Erestor’s face, but she addressed Glorfindel instead. “I gave birth
to the twins the very night Erestor died, Glorfindel. I was so happy when I
held my sons in my arms and then I learned of Erestor’s horrible fate. I felt
crushed, but my sons needed me. I could not give in to despair. Elrond,
however, did so for a short while. Oh, Glorfindel, Elrond will never forgive
himself for declaring Erestor dead!” She finally found the courage to touch the
sleeping Elf and brushed his brow with her fingers. “We were good friends,
Erestor and I. I trusted him with my secrets. He took part of my heart with him
when he died.”
“He has returned to us,”
Glorfindel said. He rose from his chair and seated himself next to the Lady of
Imladris, who looked shaken. Her normally sparkling eyes had dulled and her hair
was in disarray. It was apparent that she had left her rooms in a hurry;
probably the very moment after Elrond had told her that Erestor was still
alive. “I will look after him and I promise you that he will grow strong
again,” Glorfindel said softly.
One look at Glorfindel
told her that he meant it. Glorfindel would help Erestor heal. “I am grateful
that you listened to what Erestor had to say. Elrond and I… We were scared
whenever we saw what we thought was Erestor’s ghost. We were too cowardly to face
and confront him. By Elbereth, if we had done so, we might have figured out
earlier what had gone wrong.” She wasn’t without guilt herself – at least that
was how she felt.
“My Lady, you are not to
blame!” Glorfindel felt exasperated. Why were they so determined to drown in
self-hatred? “It was a mistake. A mistake,” he repeated his statement in the
hope that his words would truly register with her. “We can not change the past,
but we can be there for Erestor at this moment.”
She nodded once. “I know you
are right, but knowing we buried Erestor alive pains me. He was…is…such a good
friend.” Her scared eyes sought out Glorfindel’s. “Do you believe he will hate
Elrond? And me?”
Glorfindel determinedly
shook his head and gathered her hand into his. “Erestor does not hate you.”
“How can you be certain of
that? Elrond told me that Erestor has not spoken yet.”
The silent pleading in her
eyes made Glorfindel rub her cold fingers between his. “Because he told me so –
in my mind. We can communicate in that way. Do not ask me how that is possible.
I do not know myself. I only know that I can hear him in my head…and that he
hears my thoughts.”
Celebrían soaked up
Glorfindel’s reassurances. “Will you inform me when Erestor wakes again? I
would like to speak with him.”
“I will.” Glorfindel gave
her a reassuring smile. “You should return to your husband’s side, my Lady.
Elrond needs you.”
“You are right,” Celebrían
said and released a deep sigh. A part of her had hoped that Erestor would have
woken due to their talking, but the Advisor was still sleeping. “I have missed
him...his voice, his advice, and his shrewd observations. I am grateful that he
has you now. You will take good care of him, will you not, Glorfindel?”
“I will,” Glorfindel
promised solemnly. He released her hands and the Lady of Imladris rose from the
bed. She made her way over to the doorway and Glorfindel continued to smile at
her. “All will be well, I promise.” She nodded her head, stepped into the
corridor, and closed the door behind her. She would put her trust in
Glorfindel.
The warrior’s gaze shifted
from the door back to Erestor’s face and sucked in his breath as he found the
eyes wide open. Erestor was looking at him and the expression in the brown eyes
was lucid. “Hello there…”
Erestor stared at
Glorfindel in wonder. The Captain *was* the most radiant Elf he had ever seen.
A light, bright and warm, shone from the inside and Erestor surmised it was
Glorfindel’s soul shining through.
“You must be thirsty. Let
me bring you something to drink – and a bite to eat as well. I will be right
back.” Glorfindel stroked Erestor’s hair before rising from the bed and walking
toward the doorway. Once inside the corridor, he instructed a servant to bring
food, and then returned to Erestor’s side. Glorfindel was constantly aware of
Erestor’s gaze which rested upon him. He poured some water in which Elrond had
poured miruvor and then sat down on the bed again. “Let me help.” Erestor was
still too weak to push himself upright.
Erestor hated being weak,
but accepted that he was weakened at that moment, so he allowed Glorfindel to
fluff his pillows and ease him back against them. As a result, he rested
comfortably in a nest of pillows which cradled his form.
“Sip slowly,” Glorfindel
instructed upon placing the rim of the goblet against Erestor’s pale lips. He
quivered under Erestor’s probing gaze, but maintained his smile.
Erestor did as he was
told. To feel cool sweet liquid flow down his throat overwhelmed him and he
raised a shaky hand to wrap his skeleton-like fingers around the goblet.
Glorfindel’s smile
brightened. “You can move again!” The fact that Erestor had managed to move his
hand delighted him.
Erestor emptied the goblet
and his body screamed for more. More water, more miruvor, more attention from
Glorfindel, and eventually food. /I am hungry,/ he thought and cast the words
into the warrior’s mind.
“I know… I already told a
servant to bring food. He will arrive in a moment.” In the meantime, Glorfindel
refilled the goblet and allowed Erestor to drink again. The Advisor sipped
slowly and, while he did so, the dark eyes remained trained on the warrior.
Glorfindel felt ecstatic as Erestor reacted to his presence. “I thought you
would be most comfortable here and Elrond had no objections to me carrying you
here.”
Erestor blinked and then
took in his surroundings. Until that moment, he hadn’t really registered where
he was since his senses had been focused on Glorfindel. /I am in my old rooms./
Glorfindel nodded. “This
is where I first saw you. I am so glad you managed to contact me!”
Erestor managed a weak
smile. /It is good to be back here./ A shudder coursed through him.
Glorfindel noticed it and
asked, “What is amiss?”
/I was remembering what it
was like...being entombed. It was cold, dark, and lonely. But I never realized
what had gone wrong. Maybe if I had, I would have managed to reach Elrond and
tell him to free me./
“You are here now – is
that not the one thing that really counts?” Glorfindel refused to play the
‘what if' game with Erestor. It wouldn’t put them anywhere. “We should focus on
the present, and on your future, of course.”
A knock on the door cut
their conversation short. The servant with the food had arrived and Glorfindel
took hold of the tray after answering the door. He returned to the bed and
placed the tray on Erestor’s lap. “I know you are hungry, but try to go
slowly.”
/I can not feed myself
yet./ Moving his hand to grasp Glorfindel’s wrist had exhausted him.
“I will feed you then.”
Glorfindel didn’t mind and decided to start with the soup. “Open up,” he said
teasingly and spooned the soup into Erestor’s mouth.
/I thought I would never
eat again,/ Erestor admitted, while looking at Glorfindel. /I never thought I
would return to these rooms – to my life./
“Believe it. It is
happening right now.” Glorfindel continued to feed Erestor and the Advisor
dutifully swallowed the foods the flaxen-haired warrior fed him, savoring each
bite.
~~~
Later that night, when
Ithil began to rise in the sky, Elrond and Celebrían visited with Erestor a
second time. The Lord and Lady of the valley remained near the doorway and
waited for either Glorfindel or Erestor to invite them to approach. Elrond felt
miserable as he took in Erestor’s gaunt state and blamed himself for the
Advisor’s state. “May we approach?” Elrond asked in a soft voice.
Erestor managed to turn
his head in the couple’s direction. He felt a bit stronger since Glorfindel had
fed him food items during the entire day and had made him sip miruvor, which
had helped to strengthen him. He had even managed to whisper a few words, but
since talking drained him, he settled for nodding his head.
Glorfindel, who was seated
on the edge of the bed, remained in place. Erestor had placed his hand in the
large warrior’s hands some time ago, and Glorfindel didn’t want to break off
the physical contact just yet.
Elrond and his wife took
up a position on the other side of the bed and stood indecisively, searching
for the right words to speak. “I am sorry,” Elrond said eventually and bowed
his head in defeat. “What I have done is so terrible that I do not have the
right to ask for your forgiveness, Erestor. Because of my mistake, you spent
six years entombed.”
Erestor shivered and, by
doing so, revealed his distress to Glorfindel. The warrior rubbed Erestor’s
fingers between his and squeezed them encouragingly. /Are you strong enough to
answer Elrond verbally? Or do you want me to relay your thoughts to him?/
/I will attempt speech./
Erestor felt grateful that Glorfindel remained at his side because Glorfindel
radiated strength and courage. The warrior would see him through this ordeal.
“Elrond…” Erestor
moistened his chapped lips and sought out his friend’s gaze. Elrond’s tormented
expression told him just how miserable Elrond felt.
“I…do…not…blame…you…not…your…fault…” Those few words were all he was capable of
for his voice sounded raw from lack of use and speaking drained him. His body
shook with exhaustion and he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.
Elrond resolutely shook
his head. “Nay, that is not true. This *is* my fault. I should have realized
that you were still alive!” Elrond wrung his hands and avoided Erestor’s
forgiving eyes.
“You…made…a…mistake…”
Erestor’s throat ached, his jaw hurt, and his eyes were beginning to close. He
needed to sleep because then the healing process could start again.
“I should never have made
that mistake!” Elrond waved his hands dramatically and began to pace the
bedroom. “I will never forgive myself for…”
Erestor closed his eyes
and blocked out the rest Elrond was saying. Instead, he reached out to
Glorfindel. /Please make him stop… He is making my head hurt./ Elrond’s voice
was growing louder as the half-Elf’s distress rose and it was giving him a
headache.
But Glorfindel didn’t have
to intervene, for Celebrían was already doing so. The she-Elf grabbed hold of
Elrond’s arm, which in turn gained his attention. “You heard what Erestor said.
Accept it, Elrond.” Although she also felt guilty for what had happened to
Erestor, she didn’t feel the same consuming self-hatred Elrond did.
“Aye, stop it and lower
your voices. You are giving Erestor a headache,” Glorfindel added while still
rubbing Erestor’s fingers between his.
/Tell Elrond to sit down
on the bed,/ Erestor told Glorfindel mentally. Having to communicate with
Elrond via Glorfindel was tiring him. He knew that Elrond was capable of mind-speech,
but for some reason the half-Elf refused to use it.
“Elrond, please sit down.
It looks like Erestor wants a word with you.” Glorfindel kept a close eye on
both Erestor and Elrond.
Elrond reluctantly seated
himself on the bed. “What do you want from me, Erestor?” How did his friend
want him to atone?
Erestor, already drained,
made one last attempt to reach Elrond’s mind. /I do not blame you, Elrond.
Please do not blame yourself. You made a mistake… We all make mistakes./
Elrond shivered as he
received Erestor’s thoughts. Until a moment ago, he had thought that only
Glorfindel could communicate with Erestor in that way. Not wanting to shut his
wife out, Elrond decided to speak out loud instead of mentally with Erestor.
“But my mistake had terrible consequences! If it had not been for Glorfindel…
By Elbereth, I do not dare finish that thought!”
/Elrond, let go of the
self-hatred and the guilt. I need my old friend back, not this guilt-ridden
version./ Erestor felt himself weaken further. He would succumb to exhaustion at
any moment, but he didn’t want to go to sleep before he had managed to reach
Elrond. /If it is forgiveness that you need, I forgive you, though I do not
believe you did something that needs forgiveness. I appeared dead and you drew
the only possible conclusion. Let it go, Elrond. I need you. I need my friend
back!/
Elrond felt Erestor weaken
during his mental speech and he placed a hand upon his friend’s brow. “I do not
know if I can ever forgive myself, but I can be strong for you. I am your
friend, Erestor, and I will support you during your recovery.”
“As will I,” Celebrían
added. “We will both be there for you.”
Erestor’s eyes closed, but
he still managed to squeeze Glorfindel’s hand. /Be there for me, Glorfindel. I
will need you the most…/ He couldn’t count on Elrond yet. The half-Elf was
still too emotional to support him.
Glorfindel felt the urge
to guide Erestor’s hand to his lips and press a kiss onto its back, but he
didn’t do so. Such a gesture would be highly inappropriate, but the need to do
so did tell him that he was developing feelings for Erestor. /I will be there
for you, Erestor. I promise./
~~~
/Glorfindel? Glorfindel!/
Erestor’s panic registered
with Glorfindel, who had been asleep in his chair. His eyes filled with
awareness and he moved closer. Seeing the frightened expression in Erestor’s
eyes, he wondered what was wrong. Elrond and Celebrían had left some time ago
and right after that Erestor had fallen asleep. “What is amiss?”
Erestor reached out
shakily and managed to curl his fingers around Glorfindel’s wrist. /It is too
dark in here… Can you light the oil lamps? The darkness…it reminds me of…of
being in that tomb./ He had spent the last six years in utter darkness and
finding himself in a dark room unnerved him.
“I will do so, if you let
go of my wrist, Erestor.” Glorfindel disliked seeing the fear in the dark eyes
and wanted nothing more than to do away with it, but in order for him to do so,
Erestor had to return his hand to him. Erestor let go reluctantly. He had
wanted to hang on to the warrior’s closeness.
Glorfindel quickly rose
from the chair and began to light the various oil lamps which stood scattered throughout
the bedroom. Once the room was comfortably illuminated, he returned to the bed
and sat down on the side. “Better?”
Erestor gave Glorfindel a
nod to show his appreciation. “I am afraid I do not do well in darkness.” The
light also gave him another chance to study the warrior’s features. Erestor was
no fool. He sensed that a bond was developing between them and, although he
could have chosen to stop it from deepening further, he didn’t want to. He
needed this link to the present – to the living. “Can I ask you for another
favor?”
Glorfindel clasped his
hands around one of Erestor’s and rubbed the back of it with his thumbs. “Of
course, you can.” Glorfindel, old and wise in his own right, had long sensed
the link that was forming. He was curious to find out what Erestor intended to do
with it. Would the Advisor encourage the bond or reject it?
“Would you hold me? It was
dark and lonely in that tomb and each time I close my eyes, I feel like I am
back in there again.” Erestor was rather confident that Glorfindel would
indulge him. After all, the warrior had already gone to great lengths to return
him to the Last Homely House.
“I would like that.”
Glorfindel stretched out on his back and Erestor managed to move closer until
the Advisor could rest his head on the warrior’s chest. Glorfindel completed
the embrace by wrapping Erestor up in his arms. With one hand he caressed the
Advisor’s long fingers and with the other he stroked the raven hair.
Erestor closed his eyes,
which helped him savor the experience. “I no longer have to haunt these rooms.”
He had truly come home – thanks to Glorfindel. “I did not think I would ever
sleep in my bed again – let alone with another Elf present in it.”
Glorfindel smiled and pressed
a kiss onto the raven head. “I believe we have the twins to thank for that. If
they had not set my rooms on fire I would never have moved in here. And then I
would never have found about you. I thank the Valar that I did.”
Erestor swallowed hard as he
realized that the moment of truth had come. “Recovery will take some time. It
might be weeks before I can leave my bed unaided.”
Glorfindel heard the real
question hidden in the words. Glorfindel nuzzled Erestor’s neck. The smile
remained on his face when he said, “I plan on walking your path to recovery
with you. You can lean on me. I will support you.”
Erestor, being the braver
of the two of them, raised his head and looked Glorfindel in the eyes. “Do you
sense it too? The link? You must feel it.”
Glorfindel blushed and
then nodded his head. His blue eyes gazed into Erestor’s dark ones before shifting
lower to the pale lips. “I feel the link, aye and I welcome it.”
Erestor had received his
answer. Glorfindel was agreeable to this development. “Does that mean you will
stay and live in my rooms?”
Glorfindel chuckled. “Aye,
I will. I will make them my new home.” His fingers ghosted across Erestor’s
face and touched the lips which he wanted to kiss so badly. He wanted to taste
Erestor. He wanted to bring light and life to the Elf who had dwelt in darkness
for so long. Glorfindel wanted to chase away that gloomy loneliness that still
clung to Erestor. “May I kiss you?”
Erestor gave Glorfindel a
warm smile. “I was hoping you would say that – else I might have resorted to
haunting your dreams until you kissed me.”
“Nay, your haunting days
are over.” Glorfindel leaned in closer and finally took those pale lips in a
tender kiss. Erestor tasted of sorrow and darkness and Glorfindel even detected
a hint of death on them, but once he deepened the kiss, new sensations stroked
his palate. There was hope, light, and love. Aye, Erestor’s haunting days were
over. The Elf would walk in the light again and at his side he would find his
new lover. Glorfindel would fill Erestor’s world will love and light for as
long as they both would live.
The end