Heart in
Chains
Part 31
In the healing wing, Camfael
and Elrond exchanged pleased looks, which Erestor noticed at once. Well, seeing
them smile was reassuring and he began to hope his daughter’s delivery would go
well – not that he would survive the birth though – but that was a price he was
willing to pay. “Everything is well?” He still sounded hesitant, afraid he
might have misinterpreted their expressions. Or maybe they acted this pleased
just to reassure him whilst in reality something was terribly amiss?
“We will deliver your
daughter in four weeks,” announced Camfael, who had told Elrond about the
births he had conducted, including Erestor’s miscarriage once the healer had
realized that the half-Elf knew.
“Four weeks?” Mixed
emotions swept through Erestor. His daughter would be born in four weeks and he
would probably die before he’d had a chance to look at her. But he kept his
fears to himself, not wanting to worry Elrond.
“Here, you are probably
cold.” Elrond helped Erestor to slip into his robes again. One of the effects
pregnancy had on Erestor was that the Elf was extremely susceptible to the
cold. So Elrond had taken to keeping a warm blanket handy whenever Erestor was
close and he now wrapped the soft fabric around the pregnant Elf’s form.
Erestor sighed blissfully,
cocooned by warmth. The smile Camfael gave him made him blush. They had told
the healer about the affection between them and Erestor had been relieved to
learn that Camfael approved. It was important for him that the healer did,
considering their shared past.
Camfael, who was putting
away the medical instruments they had needed to ascertain the baby’s health,
smiled at them. “My Lord, why do you not take Erestor back to his rooms? I am
sure he would like to rest for a while.”
Erestor waited for Elrond
to help him to his feet. He was eleven month’s pregnant and was now so big that
he could barely move about by himself and needed someone to pull him to his
feet and to help him sit down. And through it all, Elrond remained faithfully
at his side. Aiya, if only he could tell the Peredhel they already shared half
a bond!
“Will you join us for
dinner tonight?” Elrond asked Camfael, walking Erestor to the doorway.
“Nay, I do not think so. I
want to gather certain herbs that will be helpful during surgery.”
Elrond nodded gratefully.
“We will see you tomorrow, then?”
Camfael nodded and watched
them leave. Leaving the room himself, he headed for the woods to gather his
herbs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Can we go into the
nursery for a moment?” Erestor allowed Elrond to lead him, leaning heavily
against the half-Elf.
“Of course we can.” They
had reached Erestor’s bedroom, and Elrond now walked his charge into the
nursery. When the pregnant Elf had first entered the room -- after Arwen had declared
it ‘perfect’ -- Erestor had stood in silent admiration and his eyes had filled
with tears. The artists had really outdone themselves. They had painted the
walls with scenes from the sea. Dolphins, whales, seashells, seagulls and even
sea horses were twirled in the gentle waves and Arien shone gently above them,
watching over them.
Arwen had even had a
rocking chair constructed and Erestor had fallen in love with it, rocking in it
every evening before going to sleep. Elrond had caught him once, pretending he
was rocking his daughter. He had wondered about the immense sadness in
Erestor’s eyes, as they had stared at his empty arms. The sight had nearly
broken his heart. “Do you want to sit down?”
Erestor nodded, knowing
Elrond would lead him to the rocking chair. Elrond rearranged the pillows in it
before helping him to sit down. Erestor
sighed and began rocking contentedly. “’Tis
beautiful. She will love it here.”
That reminded Elrond.
“Have you already thought of a name for your daughter? The day of her birth is
approaching quickly.”
“Nay,
not yet.” Erestor sighed and
briefly closed his eyes, trying to imagine what his daughter would look like;
raven-haired and hopefully with Elrond’s stormy eyes. If only he could see her
just once!
“You really should,” said
Elrond, sitting on the windowsill and watching Erestor rock. The nursery was
more than ready to receive its little inhabitant. Arwen had filled the closet
with baby clothes and everything Erestor could possibly need to attend to his
little daughter had been put in the wardrobes. “It won’t be long now.”
“Four
more weeks.” His last four
weeks on Arda and he was determined to make the best
of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Haldir?” Erestor gave the silver-haired Elf a thoughtful look.
“Do you miss your brothers?”
The question surprised
Haldir, who had helped Erestor bathe, and was now in the process of combing the
dark, wet mane. “Sometimes,” he admitted, “but Glorfindel does not leave me
much time to feel sorry for myself. And Rumil and Orophin have each other. I am
not worried about them, but yes, I miss them sometimes.”
Haldir was braiding his
hair into one, loose plait so the strands wouldn’t get in the way at night when
he was trying to move his weight, tossing and turning for a comfortable
position. “Do you think you will ever return to Lothlorien?”
Hearing Erestor’s
melancholy tone, Haldir finished the braid and then sat down on the side of the
bed. He made eye contact with the dark-haired Elf and answered him truthfully. “I
don’t.”
“That must hurt you
terribly.” In his last weeks of pregnancy he was also growing increasingly
emotional and he felt guilty for causing Haldir to lose touch with his
brothers.
“Do not blame this on yourself,” said Haldir, soothingly stroking the back of
Erestor’s hand.
“But Celeborn ordered you!
You never had a choice!” Erestor lifted dark, swimming eyes and stared
helplessly at the guardian. “You commanded Celeborn’s army before we left.”
Haldir rubbed the knuckles
of Erestor’s hand. “Aye, it is true that Celeborn ordered me to stay with you,
but the three of us volunteered before he made his decision to send me. Rumil
and Orophin were also eager to stay with you. It was not a sacrifice for me.
They even envied me for being chosen.”
That brought a smile to
Erestor’s face, forcing back the impending tears. “Thank you, I needed to hear
that.”
Haldir leaned in closer
and pressed a kiss on Erestor’s brow. “You cannot possibly be a burden to me,
or my brothers. And Elrond has grown very fond of you, has he not?”
“Aye, he has,” replied
Elrond, who had entered a few moments ago, but he had remained silent, watching
them and listening to them instead. It was no secret to him that Erestor’s mood
swings were unpredictable and often caused weeping fits. It was the very reason
why he visited with Erestor every night. He had found that his presence had a
soothing influence on the pregnant Elf and he would sit with his beloved until
Erestor was sound asleep. On more than one occasion he had slipped into bed
next to Erestor and held him close during the night. He still recalled that
first morning when Erestor had found him in bed with him. That good morning
kiss had been amazing and he tried to get a repeat performance as many mornings
as possible. “I will stay with him tonight.”
Smiling, Haldir excused
himself and left.
Elrond instantly moved
into place and sat down on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard.
Within seconds, he had a lap full of purring, pregnant Elf, and he wrapped his
arms around Erestor. “You seem happy tonight, my love.”
Erestor gasped for breath.
It was the first time ever that Elrond had called him that and he dotingly
looked up at the half-Elf from his lap, which made a very comfortable pillow. “You
would call me that?”
“Yes.” Slowly, Elrond
bowed forward and claimed Erestor’s lips. He would never get enough of that
sweet taste and every time he explored the other Elf’s mouth, it was like the
first time all over again. “You are in my blood.”
Erestor’s happy expression
briefly wavered. Aye, he *was* in Elrond’s blood, having shared his blood with
the half-Elf over three thousand years ago. /And I wish you were in mine./ For then he would truly be whole again. “Will you stay
with me tonight? Hold me?”
Elrond nodded and shifted
on the bed to acquire a more comfortable position. Once he had settled down, he
played with the end of the braid, twirling strands of hair even darker than his
around his fingertips. “I will.” At hearing that answer, the baby kicked again
and Elrond immediately realized why Erestor was grinning. He placed his hand on
the swollen abdomen and felt the movement beneath it. “She is very strong.”
“She will need her
strength,” whispered Erestor, being pulled under by the dark memories of losing
his sons. “Can I go to sleep now?”
“Most
certainly.” Elrond soothingly
stroked Erestor’s back, just in case the pregnant Elf was suffering from
cramps. “Go to sleep. There will be a new day tomorrow.”
“Four more weeks… Just
four… more…weeks…” Erestor slowly drifted off into reverie, trusting Elrond to
keep him safe and his nightmares away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arwen joined her father
for breakfast in the Hall of Fire. Sitting down, she pouted her lips and tried to
find a way to break the bad news to her father.
Elrond sensed that
something was upsetting her, but knew of no problems. “What is it?”
“Elladan and Elrohir… They
are close to Imladris’ borders.” She briefly bit her lip. “It would be a most
inopportune time if they decided to pay us a visit, considering Erestor’s
advanced pregnancy.”
“You are worried about the
effect they might have on Erestor.” Elrond nodded his head. “You are right. If
they do decide to visit, we need to keep them away from Erestor.” That wouldn’t
be too hard, as the pregnant Elf had taken to spending most of his time in his
rooms, asleep in the bed or rocking in his chair.
Then Arwen disclosed the
really bad and possibly distressing news to her father. “Glorfindel and Haldir
just left with a heavily armed patrol after Orcs were sighted hunting Elladan
and Elrohir. It appears my brothers happened upon a pack too powerful for them
to fight off alone.”
Elrond’s hands, resting
beneath the table, changed into fists. “I told them!”
“Glorfindel will come to
their aid,” said Arwen quickly.
But Elrond wasn’t that
sure. “I pray to the Valar that he does!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ada! Come quickly!” Arwen
was running down the stairs after hearing the commotion in the great hall, but
Elrond had been in Erestor’s rooms and she reached her brothers first. Her
heart missed several beats, seeing Elrohir carry Elladan into the hall. “Aiya, no!”
Elrohir, who had refused
to let someone else carry his dying twin despite being injured himself, now
collapsed onto his knees, placing his brother on the floor in front of him.
Hovering above him protectively, he told his twin, “Hold on, Elladan. Adar will
help you.”
Arwen knelt beside him,
trying to determine the seriousness of Elladan’s injury. The blood in her veins
froze, finding her brother had sustained several, severe injuries. An Orc arrow
– doubtlessly poisoned—had pierced Elrohir’s throat from front to back. Elrohir
had left the arrowhead in place, obviously not knowing what to do when faced
with such a grave injury. “
Elrond’s throat tightened
with despair. Elladan was pale, and cold, old sweat still clung to his son’s brow,
but Elladan had stopped sweating some time ago. “By the Valar…” As a trained
healer, he recognized the mark of death upon his firstborn and seeing it broke
his heart in two. “Not you too.” When would the Valar finally take pity on him?
Wasn’t it enough that they had taken his parents, twin brother, Ereinion and
Celebrian away from him?
“Adar? Help him!”
Frantically, Elrohir stared at his father. “Why are you not doing anything? He
is dying! In the name of the Valar, help him!” His big eyes released tears of
despair, and he tightly clutched Elladan to his chest, no longer paying any
attention to the arrow. “Do not give up on him!”
“There is nothing I can
do,” mumbled Elrond. Had he ever uttered such dreadful words before? Raising his
hands, palm upwards, he pleaded with Elrohir. “Give him to me. Maybe I can ease
his pain in these last moments.”
“You cannot let him die!
You cannot do that!” Elrohir, his face wet with tears, stared at his father.
“Please save him!”
Elrond’s eyes had long
since filled with tears of his own and they now flowed down his face. “I would
if only I could, but the arrow has been poisoning him for much too long.”
Elrond inched closer and folded one arm around Arwen, who was sobbing and tried
to pull Elrohir close as well. “Let him die amidst his family.”
But Elrohir possessively
pulled Elladan away from them. “He is my twin!”
“And my brother!” said
Arwen pleadingly. “Please, Elrohir…”
A strangled sob escaped
Elrohir’s throat, finally suffering an emotional breakdown. “I cannot lose
him!”
Elladan’s eyes were open,
and stared blindly at the ceiling. Not even Elrohir was sure if his twin could
hear them. But he rocked the motionless body and finally allowed Arwen and
Elrond into the embrace as well. “Please, Adar, help him.”
“There is nothing I can
do!” whimpered Elrond in despair. “He is already on his way to the Great Halls
of Mandos.” He was about to curse the Vala for taking
his firstborn away from him, when he grew aware of Erestor, who had somehow
managed to sit down beside him. “You should not be here.” He raised a hand and
caressed Erestor’s face. Witnessing such a scene could evoke a miscarriage!
Elrohir had noticed
Erestor’s presence as well, but decided not to act on it. Elladan needed him
the most and he rocked his brother’s body, growing aware that Elladan’s skin
continued to grow colder. “No!”
“Give him to me,” said
Erestor calmly. He had watched the horrid scene unfold from the landing and had
ordered Lindir to help him down the stairs. The white-haired Elf had protested
at first, concerned for Erestor’s well-being, but in the end he had obeyed.
“Never!” hissed Elrohir
venomously, possessively pulling his dying brother away from Erestor when the
pregnant Elf reached for him.
“Elrohir, give him to me.
I can heal him.” He had made his decision while standing on the landing. Seeing
the pain in their eyes, he knew he couldn’t turn away from them and he had to
offer them his help. Flashes of losing the twins due to healing Telu’s injury moved through him, but he pushed them away.
He would give Elladan as much of his life energy as he could spare, but at all
times he would make absolutely certain that this daughter had enough life
energy to survive.
“Erestor! I…” Elrond
stared at Erestor in disbelief, but the pregnant Elf was too focused on Elrohir
to notice.
“I can bring him back from
Mandos, if you will let me.” This was the scariest thing he had ever done, but
he had to trust he knew how to protect his daughter from draining her. He owed
Elrond, owed the half-Elf for losing his sons. Maybe if he managed to reclaim
Elladan his debt would be paid
– not in full, but paid.
Elrohir’s eyes revealed
his suspicion, but his need to be reunited with his brother outweighed any distrust
he felt and he shifted Elladan into Erestor’s arms.
“Erestor, do not do this!”
A terrible sense of foreboding swept through Elrond, but something in Erestor’s
eyes rendered him motionless and he could only stare when the other Elf’s
fingertips began to glow with healing energy. “What?” His eyes danced wildly in
their sockets, realizing what was happening.
Erestor’s swimming eyes
briefly fastened on Elrond. “I took two sons away from you. Now let me return
one to you.”
Elrond’s heart raced upon
hearing those words and suddenly all the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into
place. His mysterious healer had been so close and he had never realized it was
Erestor!
Erestor now lovingly
caressed Elladan’s brow, whilst the fingers of his other hand curled around the
arrow. “I am sorry, but this will hurt.” Now that his healing energy was inside
Elladan’s body, he slowly pulled the arrow from Elladan’s flesh and flung it
far away from him. The arrowhead landed on the floor with a metallic clink.
Elrohir stared at Erestor
in shock, finally realizing what the pregnant Elf was doing. Looking at his
father, he wondered what to do.
But Elrond was just as
shocked as his son and could only stare at Erestor.
Erestor let his energy
flow into Elladan’s fëa and body. It was only due to the bond which he already
shared with Elrond that he managed to reach Elladan before the half-Elf set
foot in the Great Halls of Mandos. Grabbing hold of Elladan’s fëa, he pulled
him back to Arda with him.
But the effort was wearing
him down, demanding too much of his life energy. And all he had done so far was
pulling Elladan’s fëa with him; the half-Elf’s body still needed to be healed.
This time, he did things differently. He set aside the life energy his daughter
needed to survive and poured the rest –including his own life energy – into
Elladan’s body. /I would not survive giving birth anyway. At least this way my
death serves a purpose./
“Erestor, stop it! Elrond,
pull him away!” Haldir ran into the hall, suffering a terrible flash-back. “I
won’t allow it to happen again!” Apparently all of the half-Elves were
paralyzed with fear and hope, and when Haldir reached Erestor, he pulled the
pregnant Elf away from Elladan, who at that exact moment drew in a deep breath.
Dark gray eyes stared
wildly at Erestor. Elladan was utterly unable to understand what had happened
and reached for Elrohir, finding his twin near.
Elrohir broke out into
hysteric sobs, finding the fatal injury was healing quickly. He pulled Elladan
into his arms and released his agony, sobbing in misery.
Haldir wrapped his arms
around Erestor’s trembling form. His hand instinctively settled on the
distended abdomen, relieved to find the baby kicking. “Elrond, get over here!”
Haldir’s firm tone broke
Elrond from the spell and he literally crawled toward Erestor, after seeing
that Elladan was alive. “I…” Rendered speechless, he stared into Erestor’s
eyes, alarmed to see the inner light fade.
“Remember… your promise…”
whispered Erestor with his last breath. “Save… our daughter…” His eyes closed,
his head lolled against Haldir’s chest, and he quickly lost consciousness.
Elrond doubled over. “Our daughter? OUR daughter!” The knowledge, which he had just
gained, overwhelmed him and he shook his head in denial. “No…”
Haldir realized he had to
take action. “Elrond, this baby needs to be born now. And you had better do
your utmost to keep Erestor alive! This child needs both her parents!”
“Ada?” Arwen didn’t know
what to make of their words, but she did know that Elrond needed to act now. “I
will fetch Camfael whilst you take Erestor to the healing wing. Lindir and I
will look after Elladan and Elrohir.”
“Elladan, is he…?” Elrond
looked over his shoulder and a burden was lifted from his shoulders, finding
Elladan sitting up and looking about disorientated. It was obvious his
firstborn had survived. Arwen was right, he needed to concentrate on Erestor
now. “Aye, fetch Camfael! Elrohir, Lindir, take care of Elladan.” Making eye
contact with Haldir, he said in a soft voice. “Let me carry him.”
Haldir reluctantly gave in
and placed Erestor’s limp form in Elrond’s arms. Elrond headed for the Healing
House, angry with himself for not realizing the truth earlier. He’d had so many
clues and had never connected them. He really should have known when his touch
had caused those energy transfers. Walking down the corridor, he sensed
Haldir’s presence behind him. The guardian was still at Erestor’s side.
/Erestor… Erestor is carrying my child… My daughter!/ Unidentifiable emotions
ran through him. He was going to be a father again! But that also meant… The
twins! The boys, which Erestor had lost, had been *his* sons. Erestor had conceived when they’d had
intercourse after the Battle of the Last Alliance! Fighting back his tears, he
forced himself to focus on Erestor and his weakening breathing. /He saved my
life twice, and now it is my turn to repay him – twice. Erestor and our
daughter will both survive!/
He called out orders upon
entering the Healing House and his healers hurried to obey. Carrying Erestor
into the room where he kept his surgical instruments, he placed the dark-haired
Elf’s body on the cot. “Where is Camfael?” He needed the other healer to assist
him!
“I am here, my Lord!”
Camfael, alarmed at seeing the state Erestor was in, hurried over to Elrond’s
side, carrying out every order the half-Elf uttered.
“I can help too,” offered
Haldir, feeling useless and hating that feeling.
“No, you will leave.”
Elrond pointed Haldir toward the door. “Soon this room will be swarming with
healers and you will be in the way.”
Haldir nodded in
understanding, but before he left, he exchanged one concerned look with the
Peredhel. “Do not let him die.”
“I will do my best!”
hissed Elrond in frustration. “Do you really think I will let him die now that
I know who he is and that he is carrying my child? Now leave me!”
Haldir stepped into the
corridor where he ran into Glorfindel, whose strong arms suddenly enfolded him,
holding him tight.
“What happened?”
Glorfindel had lost track of the twins once they had entered the Last Homely
House and one of the servants had told him Elrond had headed here.
“Erestor did it again!”
Haldir knew it wasn’t fair to aim his anger at his husband, but Glorfindel was
the one close to him. “He lost his sons when saving Telu
and now he pulled Elladan back! What if he loses his daughter because of this?
What if he dies himself? Why was I not there when he needed me to keep him in
check? Erestor has always been impulsive, and now due to this pregnancy, it has
grown even worse! Glorfindel, he lost consciousness after saving Elladan!”
Glorfindel tried to soothe
him, rubbing the back of Haldir’s neck. He had to get his information straight.
“Elladan is alive?” When they had come upon the twins, Elladan had already been
wounded and they had helped the twins to get to the Last Homely House as
quickly as possible.
“Aye, Elladan is alive. He
was sitting up by himself when Elrond and I left.” Haldir shook off
Glorfindel’s hand and paced the waiting area like a caged animal. “Erestor… he
was…” Lost for words, he pleadingly looked at Glorfindel.
“History repeated itself,”
said Glorfindel in horrid understanding. “And now they are fighting for the baby’s
life and his.”
“Oh, Glorfindel, they
cannot die.” Haldir needed Glorfindel close and returned to his husband’s
embrace. “This time it was *my* fault. I should have hurried inside faster,
knowing what he would do!”
“’Tis
not your fault,” said Glorfindel soothingly. “Erestor decided to do this.”
“But I might have been
able stop him! I had to pull him away from Elladan because he was still
strengthening him. It must be due to the bond he shares with Elrond that he
could so quickly pull Elladan back. Oh, Glorfindel, what if he loses the child
and survives himself?”
Glorfindel swallowed hard.
“What if the child lives and he dies?”
“Elrond will take care of
her. He knows the truth now, having seen Erestor heal Elladan.” Haldir clung to
Glorfindel, praying to the Valar to give Erestor the strength he needed to
survive. “Elrond knows he is fighting for his daughter’s life.”
“But does Elrond also know
that Erestor is bound to him?”
“I do not think so,” said
Haldir softly. “But I am done with this secrecy. No matter what the outcome
will be, I will make certain Elrond learns the whole truth about Erestor!”
TBC
Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in
Chains
Part 32
Elrond’s hands shook,
holding the sharp knife, as he was about to make the incision. Swallowing hard,
he realized he couldn’t perform this surgery. He was too emotionally involved
and he looked pleadingly at Camfael. “Would you do it? I…” The tremors that shook
his hand increased and he nearly dropped the scalpel onto the floor.
Camfael – who had expected
something like this to happen now that Elrond knew he was about deliver his own
daughter – nodded and took the scalpel from the half-Elf’s hand. Camfael’s hand
was steady making that first incision and he instructed Elrond to try to slow
down the blood flow. Erestor was still unconscious, for which Camfael was
grateful. Should the Elf awake during surgery, they would have to act quickly,
slipping him healing herbs that would numb his pain.
Elrond cringed, seeing how
much blood erupted from Erestor’s abdomen. Until now, he had never considered
the possible complications that could actually take place, but now that Erestor
had drained himself to pull back Elladan, those complications became very real.
“I cannot lose him.” Elrond was suddenly reminded of Elrohir’s words, spoken
just moments before when the twin had faced losing his brother. Now he
understood what Elrohir had gone through and he worked harder on stopping the
blood flow.
“Adar? Can I help?” Elrohir had silently entered the
room, careful not to distract Camfael. He flinched at seeing the bloodied mess
Erestor’s abdominal area had become.
“Be quiet and do not
distract us,” whispered Elrond, grateful that Elrohir had set aside their
differences and arguments now that he needed his son at his side. Elrohir was
an accomplished healer and the Valar knew they needed all the help they could
get.
Elrohir nodded and waited
patiently in case any instructions would follow.
Although Elrond had
delivered Arwen and the twins himself, this was very much different. For one,
Erestor was a male and second, Erestor was exhausted. He prayed to the Valar,
asking them to watch over the dark-haired Elf and to allow him to stay on Arda.
Unexpectedly, loud crying
echoed through the room and Elrond looked upon his daughter for the first time.
She was a bit small, but she was born four weeks prematurely. Erestor’s blood
still clung to her and when Camfael handed her to him, he signaled for Elrohir
to take his place at the healer’s side.
Elrond carried his
daughter to a table, where two other healers helped him clean the blood from
the baby’s body and to test her reflexes. “Thank you…” Elrond said, thanking
the Valar. “Thank you for keeping her alive.” Looking over his shoulder, he
watched Camfael and Elrohir work on closing the gaping wound, but the blood
still flowed profusely. “Please do not let him bleed to death. Do not take him
away from me. Not now that I know the truth!” He was torn between staying with
his daughter and returning to Erestor’s side. But he knew that Camfael and
Elrohir needed space to work and three pairs of hands was one pair too many.
“Here, my Lord,” said one
of the healers, who had finished cleaning up the baby. After wrapping her in a
warm sheet, she placed the baby in the half-Elf’s arms.
Entranced, Elrond stared
at the small, crying baby in his arms. “I have become a father again.” After so
many centuries, he held another baby in his arms, one he had fathered in
Lothlorien when Erestor had comforted him. A song erupted from his heart and he
would have given it his voice, if it hadn’t been for Erestor’s fragile state.
Carrying her in his arms,
he came to a stand still at the foot of the bed, from where he watched Camfael
and Elrohir work. The silver-haired healer had managed to close the wound and
was stitching up the last bit of skin, but the pool of blood beneath Erestor
made his heart falter. The robes were drenched in blood and the Elf was as pale
as a corpse. For one moment, he was convinced Erestor’s fëa had left them and
that the Elf’s essence was on its way to the Halls of Waiting, but then he saw
the chest slowly rise and fall. The Valar hadn’t demanded Erestor’s life after
all and Elrond dared release a sigh. “How does he fare?” He made eye contact
with Camfael, who looked extremely worried.
“Erestor is alive, but
barely.” Camfael carefully considered his course of action. “We need to get him
into a warm bed.”
“I can help,” offered
Elrohir, who felt deeply conflicted. He had heard Erestor’s words as well, and
had instantly understood that the pregnant Elf was carrying his father’s child.
The baby was his half-sister, and although he wanted to be angry with Elrond,
it was hard to hang on to his hatred, seeing the fear and misery on his
father’s face.
“No, *I* want to do that,”
decided Elrond. “Elrohir, will you take care of your sister?”
Elrohir swallowed hard. He
had wanted to correct his father, telling Elrond this was his *half* sister,
but couldn’t do it. His father needed his support right now. “Of course I
will.”
Elrond carefully placed his daughter in Elrohir’s arms. “Find a warm crib for
her and make sure someone stays with her at all times. She seems healthy, but
one never knows. She was not supposed to be born for another four weeks. Treat
her gently.”
Elrohir nodded firmly,
feeling a twinge of guilt, realizing his father wasn’t completely sure he would
take good care of her. He couldn’t really blame Elrond, considering the way
Elladan and he had acted when they had seen Erestor that first time. “I will
make sure she is well taken care of.”
“Thank you.” Elrond
watched Elrohir leave the room and his heart called out to him to go after
them, as he wanted to hold his daughter, but Erestor needed him most. After
exchanging a look with Camfael, they carefully removed the drenched robes, and
then moved him to another cot. A healer brought bowls with tepid water and
washing cloths and they tenderly cleaned their charge. The last thing they did
was move Erestor to a warm and comfortable bed instead of a narrow cot and they
covered him with warm blankets.
Elrond pulled up a chair
and sat down beside Erestor’s bed. He gathered a cold hand in his and tenderly
stroked the icy skin. “He must survive!”
Camfael’s mouth had gone
dry, knowing there was a distinct possibility that Erestor would die. “He might
lack the necessary strength to return to us.”
“I won’t give up on him!”
vowed Elrond passionately.
“My
Lord?” Haldir hesitantly
shuffled into the room and his heart contracted painfully, seeing the state
Erestor was in. Elrohir had shown them the baby when the half-Elf had passed by
the waiting area, so they knew she was fine. Arwen had instantly offered to
mother over her and had taken her into her arms, leaving Elrohir standing
dazed. Luckily, Elladan had recovered enough to offer Elrohir a listening ear
and the twins settled down on chairs in the waiting area, talking softly.
That had been the moment
when Haldir and Glorfindel had decided to inquire about Erestor’s health. Their
worst fear had been to find Erestor’s corpse beneath a sheet, but the
dark-haired Elf was still hanging on to life. The chocolate brown eyes were
closed and Erestor was completely motionless. “Will he survive?” asked
Glorfindel softly.
“He must!” said Elrond,
refusing to give up on Erestor. His stare briefly left Erestor’s face to meet
Haldir’s eyes. “I want to know everything. Nothing, but the
truth. And I want to hear it *NOW*!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel knew exactly
what Elrond was going through. He had felt the same way after Haldir had told
him about Erestor and he wasn’t sure he should reveal that he had known already
of this to the half-Elf.
Elrond had been rendered
speechless whilst listening to Haldir and he now squeezed Erestor’s hand –
which still rested in his. “They forced him to bind himself to me?”
Haldir gave the Peredhel a
look filled with understanding. “You can call it that. Erestor always
maintained it was his choice, but after such a long imprisonment, he was dying
inside. He wanted to walk in the open again and Galadriel offered him just
that.”
Elrond bared his teeth.
“And she called my sons bastards?”
Haldir flinched. Maybe he
shouldn’t have mentioned that, but it was best to do away with all secrets.
“She did. Hearing that hurt Erestor immensely.”
Elrond absentmindedly
rubbed Erestor’s knuckles, hoping the sleeping Elf somehow sensed his presence.
His mind spun with all of the new information and sorting everything out was
hard. /It started at the foot of
Haldir understood. “You
tore him badly and it took him days to recover, but he never blamed you,
realizing you thought him to be the High-King.”
Elrond’s eyes filled with
tears. “He returned to Lothlorien, found himself pregnant and lost my heirs?”
Haldir nodded. “He tried
to keep his pregnancy a secret, as he was not sure what Galadriel would do to
his sons. Later, after the miscarriage, Camfael told me about Erestor’s plan to
find someone who would take his sons to Imladris, hoping they would be allowed
to stay here.”
“He would never have told
me,” realized Elrond in dread.
“He could not afford to
take that risk. Galadriel was close and watching him.”
Elrond wished he had known
from the start. Why Galadriel and Celeborn had sent Erestor to him in secrecy
mystified him. “I would have accepted him as my official mate after I lost
Ereinion.”
“But Galadriel did not
want that, as she thought him a kinslayer, but you
know better now.” Haldir met Elrond’s eyes and found them burning hotly. “He
was taking care of Elros and you, helping Elwing raise you.”
“And he is related to
Indis… He is much older than I thought. These last millennia were torment to him.”
Elrond sighed deeply. “I do wish he had confided in me when he arrived. Did he
not know he was safe here?” Elrond sought out Haldir’s eyes. “Why continue to
keep this from me?”
“He was afraid you would
take his daughter away from him. That you would be furious
with him for being manipulated in such a way. He lost his sons and did
not dare risk losing his daughter as well.” Haldir hoped Elrond understood
Erestor’s motives to keep this a secret. “I never agreed with him, but… I had
to honor his wishes.”
Elrond understood Haldir,
but wished the guardian hadn’t obeyed Erestor. He still felt shocked, realizing
he might have lost his daughter and his beloved. “I should have known,” he
whispered eventually. “When I touched him unexpectedly, I would feel his energy
flow into my fingertips.”
“You had no reason to
suspect he was the healer Galadriel sent,” offered Glorfindel. “Try to look
toward the future and not the past. Erestor will need you at his side when he
regains consciousness and he will be terrified, knowing you found out the truth
about him.”
Elrond nodded once. “But I
am not through yet with Galadriel. She will answer to me for her actions!”
Haldir raised a hand,
trying to placate Elrond. “Are you sure you want to draw her attention
Erestor’s way again? She has left him alone since Celeborn demanded she stopped
meddling in his life, but if you provoke her—“
“Haldir! Erestor lost our sons! If I had known he was
pregnant I could have taken him to Imladris, could have watched over him and
delivered my sons. She took something very precious away from me!” Elrond was
finding it hard to control his raging emotions. “She used him, sent him to my
bed and I hurt him, not knowing what was happening with me! Galadriel nearly
ruined his life! If Celeborn had not sent Erestor here, I might have lost my
daughter as well!” Speaking loudly, his eyes burned with rage, making Haldir
avert his eyes. But Elrond then reminded himself that he wasn’t really angry
with Haldir. He was furious with Galadriel!
“Erestor needs you! Your
daughter needs you!” cautioned Glorfindel, recognizing an impending temper
tantrum when he saw one. “You do not have the luxury of giving in to your rage
when they need you so badly!”
Elrond was still
unconvinced, but tried to calm down for Erestor’s sake. “He looks so fragile.”
Rubbing his thumb over the inside of Erestor’s wrist, he wished the doe-like
eyes would open and look at him. “I do not understand why I did not recognize
him. Now that I know the truth, I recognize the haunted eyes, but…”
“
“My daughter…” Elrond’s
features contorted, looking at Arwen. “I did not know she was mine, Arwen, or I
would have told you.”
She nodded. “Do not feel
guilty for being kept in the dark,” she said, gently placing her half-sister in
her father’s arms. “She is a lovely baby.”
Elrond’s breath caught,
finding stormy gray eyes staring back at him. The first dark hairs showed on
her head and he could already tell that she would take after him. /But this
little one has Erestor’s nose and lips./ He loved
seeing his beloved’s features in her. Cradling her close to his chest, he made
soft, reassuring noises.
“She needs a name,” said
Elladan, who felt strong enough to face his father. Elrohir was at his side, as
always, and they had talked these last few hours, agreeing the bad feelings
between them had to be buried.
“Erestor should name her.”
Elrond gave his sons a defiant stare and suddenly wondered what Erestor’s sons would
have looked like. But he shook the question from his mind, knowing better than
to give in to the ‘what ifs’.
Arwen discreetly cleared
her throat. “Erestor is… unable to do so right now. Maybe you should name my
sister in his place.”
Elrond sighed dejectedly.
Arwen was right; the little one needed a name. “She will be called Indlîrien,
for a song formed in my heart when I held her in my arms that first time.”
“’Tis a beautiful name,” said Glorfindel
approvingly. “Maybe feeling her close will help Erestor to find his way back to
us?”
Elrond nodded, moved closer to the bed, and rearranged Erestor’s
right arm so Indlîrien could rest there comfortably. “Please return to me,
Erestor.” He forgot about Haldir and Glorfindel, Arwen and the twins, as his
world momentarily existed solely of Erestor and Indlîrien.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arwen wrapped one arm
around Elladan’s waist and the other around Elrohir. “We should give them some
privacy.” They also needed to talk. “Glorfindel? Would
you please join us? My brothers and I have several questions where Erestor is
concerned.”
Glorfindel exchanged a
look with Haldir now that Elrond was ignoring them. Haldir nodded, giving his
husband permission to tell the three half-Elves. “Tell them, but do it gently.”
“They need to know about
Erestor’s twins…” Glorfindel caught Elladan’s surprised expression, hearing
that.
“But be careful how you
tell them,” cautioned Haldir. “Remember how shocked you were when you found
out.”
“I will tread carefully,” promised
Glorfindel, as he rose from the chair. He would tell them what they needed to
know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“My
Lord? Elrond?”
Haldir sat on his heels next to the half-Elf, trying to catch Elrond’s gaze. “Elrond?” The entranced expression in the stormy gray eyes
worried him. “You cannot give in to despair. Erestor needs you to be strong.”
Haldir’s voice forced
Elrond to let go of his musings, and he reluctantly shifted his gaze from
Erestor to Haldir. “How can I be strong, knowing…” Indlîrien
unexpectedly cried softly and Elrond gathered her in his arms. “I had hoped
that knowing our daughter was alive would bring him back to me.”
“Erestor was catatonic for nearly three millennia after losing the
twins,” said Haldir, reminding Elrond, “But I agree that we need to reclaim him
as quickly as possible.”
Elrond’s eyes narrowed, realizing Haldir had a plan. “What do you
suggest?”
“My Lord, Erestor is bound to you, which means that he can lend
you his strength when you need it. I suggest you complete the bond, letting
Erestor draw his strength from you as well.”
Elrond nodded. “I already thought of that…”
“But?”
Elrond released a troubled sigh. “There is no ‘but’. Haldir, fetch
me a small knife.”
Haldir rose to carry out Elrond’s order. A moment later, he
retuned, placing the requested item on the bed next to Elrond.
“Take Indlîrien to Arwen and stay with them. I need to be alone in
order to do this properly.” Elrond pressed a parental kiss onto his daughter’s
brow and handed her to Haldir. “I will create this bond, and send word once I
have completed it.”
Pleased, Haldir nodded. “Erestor loves you. He has loved you for
quite some time, but never admitted it to himself. I know you can make him happy.
He deserves some happiness after everything he has been put through.”
“And I love him,” whispered Elrond absentmindedly. “Now go and
make sure no one disturbs me.”
Haldir left, hoping Elrond would succeed in forging this bond and
bringing Erestor back to them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Haldir? Where is
“Elrond is going to bind
himself to Erestor,” announced Haldir, concerned about the twins’ reaction to
this particular fact. Their expressions hardened momentarily, but then
softened. “I gather Glorfindel told you that Erestor is already bound to your
father?”
“For the last three
millennia, aye,” said Elladan in an unreadable tone. “He saved our father’s
life twice?”
“Yes, the first time was
after the
“’Tis a lot to take in,” explained
Elrohir when Elladan remained quiet. “We have suddenly gained a sister and we
are trying to accept the fact that our father has found a new mate.”
“Erestor has been Elrond’s mate for three thousands years,” said
Haldir softly, “’Tis new for Elrond, but not for
Erestor.”
Arwen, who had been rocking her sister, now spoke up. “I want my
father to be happy and knowing what I do now, I agree with his decision to
complete the bond.”
Elladan looked thoughtfully at his twin. “What are your thoughts
on this?”
Elrohir looked at Indlîrien, already recognizing some of Elrond’s
features. “’Tis the right thing to
do. And we have already gained a sister.”
Elladan sighed, giving in. “You think our father has made the
right decision, then?”
“Yes, he is doing the only honorable thing by binding himself to
Erestor. We should accept this – him.”
Glorfindel felt proud, realizing the twins had finally put aside
their fears and self-loathing. “Erestor will be very happy to hear that.”
“If he wakes up,” warned Haldir. “I sincerely hope he won’t
withdraw into himself for another three thousand years.”
“He did what?” Elladan’s eyes revealed surprise.
“You did not tell them?” asked Haldir, making certain Glorfindel
had left out that part.
“You told me to tread carefully,” said Glorfindel softly.
Haldir drew in a deep breath. “After Erestor suffered a
miscarriage he became lost to us for nearly three millennia. He needed that
long to mourn his sons’ deaths… your half-brothers. They were still inside his
body when they died, but they were very real, and very much alive to him.”
Haldir walked over to where his husband was sitting and took a seat next to
him. “All we can do now is to wait. Elrond promised he would send word if there
was any news.”
Arwen continued to rock Indlîrien, finding comfort in holding her.
Elladan wrapped an arm around Elrohir, sitting down as well, resting his head
on his brother’s shoulder. They settled in for a long wait.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond briefly balanced
the knife in his hand. His mind was already made up, but he felt lost, looking
at Erestor’s fragile form. What if creating this bond was too little, too late?
Realizing he couldn’t afford to think like that, he placed the sharp tip of the
blade against a fingertip and made a deep cut.
He didn’t need much blood
to establish a bond; a few drops would do. Prying Erestor’s blue lips open, he
slid the bleeding fingertip inside. He waited for a few minutes, until he was
sure that several droplets had made their way down Erestor’s throat. Emotions
nearly kept him from speaking, causing a lump to form in his throat, but then
he took heart and finally took the step Galadriel should have let him take
three millennia ago.
“I, Elrond Half-Elven, bind
my fëa to yours. Like you did three thousand years ago, I do now. I will share
my life energy with you, sustain and strengthen you. From this moment on, there
will never again be another. You are my mate, lover and husband. We will raise Indlîrien
together and we will give her all the love she needs. Your life of misery ends
here, ends today. From this day on, I will stand at your side and defend you if
necessary. No hurt will ever come to you. May the Valar bless this union and
speed your recovery. Please return to me, melamin, for I do not want to live
without you.”
Removing his digit from Erestor’s lips, he leaned in closer to
seal the binding with a kiss. He tasted the coppery blood on his tongue and
hoped the binding had been successful. He would know in a few minutes. The tip
had stopped bleeding and he wrapped his fingers around Erestor’s. Slipping his
other hand beneath Erestor’s neck, he drew in a deep breath and then
concentrated.
For one terrible moment nothing happened and he grew afraid that he
had done something wrong, that the bond had been rejected, but then pulsing
energy left his fingertips, flowing into Erestor’s body and causing a soft glow
beneath the skin. He knew he couldn’t exhaust himself, because Erestor would
need him once he was awake, and pulled back when he began to feel drained. The
energy transfer stopped and Elrond’s heart fluttered wildly, finding Erestor
had opened his eyes. But the other Elf had not yet regained consciousness. It
was merely a healing sleep he was in.
But it was a start.
Elrond tucked the blanket around Erestor’s form and sat with his
beloved for long moments, before he felt strong enough to get to his feet.
Realizing he wanted to tell Haldir, Glorfindel and his children that the
binding had been successful himself, he slowly made his way to the doorway.
Looking over his shoulder, he watched Erestor sleep. When he came
back, he would slip between the covers and hold his new mate until Erestor
finally regained consciousness. But first, he needed to tell his loved ones
that the binding had been completed. Closing the door behind him, he headed for
the waiting area.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His hand twitched, missing its warm companion, and searched for
it. Erestor blinked, waking up from his long, dark sleep.
TBC
Beta read by
Sulien, who also supplied me with the baby’s name,
thanks, hon!
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in
Chains
Part 33
His worst fears had
finally come true. He was still alive, but his daughter wasn’t. The lack of a
filled cradle in his room told him that, causing tears to escape his eyes. What
had happened? He had told Elrond to put the baby’s needs first at all times!
Aiya, his last conscious
moments suddenly returned to him, showing him Elladan’s injuries and his
attempt at healing them. He had done it again! His need to help had caused him
to suffer a miscarriage at eleven months. /And Elrond knew… I made the mistake
of telling him to take care of *our* daughter./ It had
been the stupidest thing he could have done. Now that their daughter had died,
Elrond would hate him for all eternity. That was probably the very reason why
he was alone. Elrond had left him to mourn their daughter’s death and would
never want to see him again. /I cannot possibly face Elrond after what I did.
He gave me three children and I lost them because of my foolishness./
His hand involuntarily
settled on his abdomen, which was flat again. The loss overwhelmed him and he
cried softly. /I do not want to live any longer. Why did the Valar let me live?
Why are they this cruel?/ He shouldn’t have survived
and wondered why the Valar refused him entrance to the Halls of Mandos.
/I cannot stay here. They
will shun me, hate me. Elladan and Elrohir will be greatly upset, learning that
Elrond did bed me eleven months ago and Arwen will be disappointed as well. I
might still have Haldir’s loyalty, but I do not want him conflicted with
Glorfindel, who will not take well to learning I lost his Lord’s child. After
all, the baby was the very reason why he pledged himself to me. I have to set
them free./
Erestor didn’t know where
the strength came from to push himself into an upright
position. Panting softly, he swung his feet onto the floor and supported
himself by placing one hand against his still aching abdomen. /I was happy here
these last few months, but I always knew it would not last. It is time to
leave. Without me, it will be easier for them to sort out their lives./ But did he have the physical strength to leave?
Grateful that he was
already wearing a warm nightshirt, he pushed himself to his feet. The
nightshirt would do and he didn’t bother putting on additional clothing, as he
wanted the Valar to take his fëa to the Great Halls of Waiting. Maybe he would
freeze to death in his currently weakened state.
He stood rather unsteadily
on his feet and supported himself by placing one hand against the wall. Making
his way to the stables would take his last energy, but he had to do this now –
had to leave before they started to voice their accusations. He just couldn’t
face them!
Step by step, he managed
to cover the distance to the door. Opening it took some time as his fingers were
stiff and refused to curl around the door handle. Frustrated, he groaned softly
at the energy it took for him to open the door. Looking about, he found the
corridor empty. /The house should be filled with the cries of a newborn, but I
failed Elrond again./ Depressed, he slowly made his
way down the corridor. He lost track of time, but suddenly he found himself in
the stables. Now he had to find Tirith and tell the horse where to take him.
Hearing a whiny, Erestor turned
right and came to a standstill in front of the horse’s box. “Tirith…” He had
never before been so happy to see this particular horse.
Tirith’s nostrils caught
his charge’s scent and he recalled his Lord’s orders to protect this Elf at all
cost.
Erestor fumbled with the
lock and was about to give up, when it unexpectedly sprang open. Tirith,
realizing his charge was weak, pushed open the door and walked toward Erestor.
Erestor immediately
wrapped his fingers in the horse’s long mane. “Tirith, we need to go to
Lothlorien, to my sons’ tomb. Will you take me there?” Even if he was
physically strong enough to survive, emotionally he had given up on life.
Tirith gently moved his
head against Erestor’s shoulder, trying to tell the Elf he would obey. Realizing
how fragile and weak his charge was, he went down onto his knees and allowed
Erestor to easily slip onto his back.
Collapsing onto Tirith’s
warm and welcoming body, Erestor clawed at the strands of dark mane, as it was
his only hold on the horse. “I want to leave now.” His heart was telling him to
stay in Imladris, as he had been happy here, but an even stronger voice told
him to leave. Elrond would never want to see him again.
Tirith rose from the floor
now that his charge was safely seated on his back and found himself a way out
of the stables. Drawing fresh air into his nostrils, he began to speed up,
quickly leaving Imladris behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond shuffled into the
waiting area where his family and friends had gathered and failed to conceal
his fatigue. When Glorfindel unexpectedly jumped to his feet and wrapped an arm
around his waist, the half-Elf let him, allowing his friend to guide him to a
chair.
Arwen, who had handed Indlîrien
to Elrohir because her arms had grown heavy, expectantly looked at her father.
“How does he fare?”
Elrohir would not admit it aloud, but he was quickly losing his
heart to Indlîrien, who was happily asleep after he had given her a bottle with
milk. She had even burped when she was supposed to. Elladan had teasingly
remarked that he would make a good father one day, and Elrohir hoped he would
get the chance to find out in the future. Looking at his father’s tired
expression, Elrohir waited for Elrond to answer his sister’s question.
“I bonded with him and gave him most of my strength. He should
survive and wake up shortly. All is as well as it can possibly be.” Elrond
briefly closed his eyes, tired to the bone, but he couldn’t give in to
exhaustion yet. “I take it the two of you talked?” Seeing Elrohir hold
Indlîrien he dared hope that the twins would accept her into the family.
“We did,” replied Elladan in a thoughtful tone. “And we are
willing to get to know Erestor. But that is as far as we are willing to go… at
this particular moment.”
Elrond nodded in understanding. Once they got to know Erestor, the
twins would realize the Elf’s love for him was true and that in turn would make
them fully accept Erestor into their lives. Addressing Elrohir, Elrond said,
“She looks adorable, does she not? She even reminds me of Arwen when she was
born.”
Elrohir smiled happily. “Considering she was born prematurely, she
seems strong and alert… when she is awake.”
“I wanted to thank you for assisting me during the birth,” said
Elrond in a choked tone, as overwhelming memories returned to him. “I… lost my
nerve.” Shaking his head he remembered how badly his hands had trembled. “I now
also understand how you felt when you were about to lose Elladan. I suddenly
realized that I could not live without Erestor.”
Elrohir nodded once. “Find comfort in the fact that Erestor is
alive and will heal eventually. He will need time to recover from the surgery,
but you won’t lose him.”
Haldir, who had been quiet up until this point, said, “You look
tired. Maybe you would like to rest for a short while?”
“Aye, I would like to lie down and rest,” admitted Elrond, “But
first I want to hold my daughter for a short while.”
Elrohir carefully rose from his chair, made his way over to his
father and placed the tiny, tightly wrapped up bundle in the half-Elf’s arms.
His arms felt surprisingly empty now that Indlîrien was gone from them!
Elrond sighed blissfully. “Ah, little one, you are a precious gift
and one day I will lend my voice to the feelings that moved through me upon
seeing you for the first time. But not whilst your father is still unconscious
and struggling back to life.” Bowing down, he placed a tender kiss on his
daughter’s brow and then carefully gave her back to Elrohir. “I will find
myself a cot here in the healing wing, as my own quarters are too far away from
here.”
Glorfindel smiled wickedly. “Does this mean Arwen can tackle a new
project?”
Arwen frowned. “What do you mean by that?”
“The nursery is in Erestor’s quarters, but I think it is safe to
assume that Elrond will want access to it. Maybe a passage
way? Or break down a wall and join both quarters?”
Elrond smiled thankfully. “You are already ahead of me, but ‘tis a
good idea. Arwen, would you see to that? And make sure they complete it before
Erestor and I move back to our rooms?”
”I will contact the builders right away.” Arwen, glad she had something to do,
rose and left the waiting area. Rearranging their quarters would distract her
from worrying about Erestor and in this way she was actually doing something to
make things more enjoyable for him. But she didn’t plan on staying away from
Indlîrien for too long. Night was falling and she wanted to tuck her in and sing
her a lullaby. She had already grown attached to her sister and hoped
everything would turn out well for her father and Erestor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elladan assisted his father in lying down, after locating an empty
room in the healing wing. He covered Elrond’s body with a warm blanket and
smiled tenderly. “You were right, you know.”
Elrond’s eyes, already filling with sleep, looked questioningly at
his son. “In what way?”
“Elrohir and I were desperately holding onto our hatred, but…
Indlîrien opened our eyes. She is our little sister, and like we did when Arwen
was so tiny, we will take care of her and defend her.”
“Thank you… for accepting… this,” whispered Elrond, as he drifted
off to sleep.
Elladan sighed, realizing how important this was to their father.
“We still need time to accept Erestor’s new role in our lives, but I think that
in the end we will be able to welcome him into our family. Nana would have
wanted it that way.” When he had realized that his mother would have approved,
his anger and self-hatred had begun to fade. After all, Elrohir and he had been
there when Celebrian had told Elrond to love again. Bending down, he placed a
kiss on his father’s dark hair and was stunned to find a few gray hairs mixed
in with the raven strands.
“We did not make things easy for you, but that will change, Adar.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elladan decided against
returning to his brother’s side and headed for Erestor’s room instead. It had
been several hours since their father had informed them of the binding and he
wanted to make sure the healers were taking good care of his father’s new life
mate.
Soundlessly opening the
door, he stepped inside, surprised to find no healer sitting at the bedside. Or
had the healer left briefly? Puzzled, he approached the bed and was surprised
to find it empty. Had the healers moved Erestor without informing them? Or had
there been complications and had they been forced to perform more surgery?
Now that his father was
unable to make inquiries, Elladan left the room in search of Camfael, whom he
found in the room where they had operated on Erestor. “Master Camfael?”
Camfael looked at Elladan,
surprised to find the oldest twin here. “How can I help you?”
“Where is Erestor?”
“Asleep
in his room, of course.”
“No, he is not,” said
Elladan, firmly shaking his head. “I wanted to check on him, but the bed is
empty.”
Camfael immediately became
alert. “But he must be there!”
“He is not!” Elladan
frowned, realizing something was amiss. “You did not move him?”
“No, in his current state
he should not be moved at all!” Camfael gathered his robes around him and
quickly headed for Erestor’s room. Once he had reached it, he stared at the
empty bed in shock. “There is only one explanation,” he said through clenched
teeth. “Erestor has left.”
Elladan’s eyes widened.
“But you told me he should not move!”
“Erestor does not think
rationally at times!” said Camfael in a harder tone than was strictly
necessary. “Trust me, I have known him for several millennia and his way of
thinking is… twisted.” He tried to put himself in Erestor’s situation and
quickly understood what had happened. “He woke up in an empty room. His
daughter was nowhere in sight and neither was Elrond. He drew the only
conclusion he could; that his baby had died, causing Elrond to desert him. By
the Grace of the Valar, why was no one sitting with him?”
“It must have happened
when my father told everyone to leave the room. We assumed he would stay with
Erestor and when he joined us in the waiting area, no one realized Erestor was
alone at that point.”
“You must start a search!”
Camfael shook his head, angry with himself for not looking after Erestor in a
better way. “He is in no condition to be out there on his own!”
“I will tell Glorfindel
and Haldir and we will organize several search parties.” Elladan was already on
his way to the doorway, when he realized that he also needed to tell his
father. Elrond would not react well to finding out that his new mate was
missing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How could this happen?”
Elrond, enraged at his own stupidity, marched through the corridor toward
Erestor’s rooms, hoping his mate had headed back to his chambers upon wakening.
Glorfindel bowed his head,
feeling guilty as well. “I assumed Camfael or one of the other healers was
sitting with him.” He exchanged a look with Haldir, whose narrow lips revealed
his husband’s anger.
“Erestor!” Elrond pushed the doors to the other Elf’s rooms
open and entered. A quick search of the rooms showed them that they were empty.
“He is not here either! Where is he?” Elrond turned to his friends. “Find him!
Do not just stand there! Find him!”
Haldir immediately ran out
of the rooms, as a terrible thought had occurred to him. “Glorfindel, come with
me!”
Elrond remained behind,
walking into the nursery, which should be filled with the happy sounds of their
daughter. Instead he was alone. Determined not to give in to his despair, he
left, following Glorfindel.
“Why did you take us
here?” Glorfindel looked about the stables, wondering why Haldir had brought
them here.
“Tirith…” Haldir searched
the stables until he came upon the horse’s empty box. His heart twitched
painfully, realizing his worst fear had come true.
Elrond, who now appeared
at Haldir’s side, was overcome with a sense of dread at the sight of the empty
box. “He left?” He had a hard time accepting that. “Erestor is in no condition
to be riding a horse!”
Haldir’s eyes narrowed. “He
assumed he lost his daughter and that reminded him of losing his sons. By
Elbereth! He is on his way back to Lothlorien! To their
tomb!” Dread formed a fist around his heart, squeezing tightly. “What if
Galadriel finds him first?”
“We cannot allow that to
happen!” Elrond was determined to find his elusive mate. “Glorfindel, tell the
stable hands to prepare the horses. Haldir, alert my men and tell them that we
are leaving within the hour!” Turning around, he angrily marched out of the
stables and into the courtyard. His gaze fastened on the road leading away from
Imladris. The mere fact of knowing that Erestor was out there
on his own caused his heart to stop beating momentarily. “Please,” he
prayed to the Valar, “You have kept him alive and safe so far. Continue to
protect him until I find him.”
Elrond shook himself from
his worries and headed for his rooms to exchange his robes for more suitable
attire, vowing passionately that they would track Erestor down and bring him
home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Adar, you cannot leave us
behind! We owe Erestor a debt of honor and we are coming along!” Elladan was
putting his foot down.
Elrond glared at his
oldest son in frustration as this argument was keeping him from leaving. “Suit
yourself then!” He had been reluctant to allow them to accompany him,
considering Elladan’s near death, but his oldest son looked like he had made a
complete recovery.
Victoriously, Elladan and
Elrohir retrieved their horses from the stables and swung into the saddle.
Elrond buried his heels
into his stallion’s flanks, telling him to fly like the wind. His jaw was set
grimly as they left Imladris, hoping they would find Erestor before Galadriel
did.
Glorfindel, riding close
to Haldir, looked over his shoulder and waved at Arwen, knowing she would take
excellent care of Indlîrien. Lindir, who was standing next to her, would help
her. “We will bring Erestor back with us! I promise!” He hoped he would be able
to keep that promise! For Elrond’s sake and Erestor’s!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor was unconscious during the first stages of his journey and
the only thing that kept him on Tirith’s back was his tight hold on the
stallion’s mane. Tirith would stop for short moments to drink and graze, but
once his strength had been restored, he broke out into another run, feeling his
charge’s urgency to reach Lothlorien as quickly as possible.
Hardly aware of what was happening around him, or where he was
headed, Erestor managed to open his eyes and stare at his quickly changing
surroundings. Only one thought kept him going; he wanted to die near his sons’
tomb. Maybe Celeborn would take pity on him and have his remains placed inside
the tomb as well.
It was time to make his peace with his past, and his failures.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How can he keep up this pace?” Elrond was frustrated that
Glorfindel had ordered a stop. Their horses needed to drink and rest, and
Elrond – unable to sit with his loved ones – was pacing furiously.
“The strength you gave him is probably enough to keep him on
Tirith’s back, holding on for dear life,” said Haldir thoughtfully. “Especially
when he thinks you hate him for losing your children.”
“I would never blame him for that. I blame Galadriel, the Valar,
but not Erestor. Aiya, he needs to know our daughter is alive and well! Why did
he have to run?” Elrond finally collapsed, sitting cross-legged in between
Elladan and Glorfindel. “I should never have left him alone! What was I
thinking?”
“You were confused and drained,” offered Glorfindel, “’Tis not your fault.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour later, Haldir was the first to rise from the grass. “The
horses are rested and we cannot afford to lose more time than we already have.
We should leave now.”
Elrond jumped to his feet, eager to leave as well. After mounting
their horses, the party continued their journey to Lothlorien.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor was thirsty, hungry and exhausted by the time he reached
Lothlorien’s borders. He had lost count of the days spent on the road, but when
he finally saw the Golden Wood, he knew he had reached his final destination.
His upper body rested against Tirith’s exhausted body, and yet the
stallion still pressed on. Letting his instincts guide him, Tirith ran deeper
into the woods, until Erestor’s heel softly pressed into his right flank.
Taking the hint, Tirith turned right.
Erestor knew he was close to his sons’ tomb now. Only a few more
minutes and he could allow himself to fade and finally find some semblance of
peace.
Although his eyes were at half-mast and closing, he managed to
make out the tomb and once they had reached it, he let go of Tirith’s mane,
falling hard onto the grass.
Concerned for the Elf’s well-being, Tirith buried his nose in
Erestor’s neck, but the dark-haired Elf continued to ignore him. In the end, he
backed away, sensing his charge’s distress.
Erestor crawled closer to the marble tomb until he could rest one
hand against the cold stone. “I am… ready… to finally… join you…” His abdomen
had turned numb days ago and he curled up in a fetal position, surprised his
body still obeyed. He was ready to let go of his miserable life, his hopes,
love, and failures. Maybe he would find some peace in the Great Halls of
Waiting. Closing his eyes, he let himself drift away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celeborn, Orophin and Rumil were on their way to the tomb to honor
the memory of the stillborn children. Over three thousands years ago, Erestor
had suffered his miscarriage this very day. The three Elves had made it a habit
to pray to the Valar on this day to express their hopes that they would
continue to guide Erestor’s steps and protect him.
The three of them had become close since Erestor and Haldir had
left for Imladris. The two brothers missed Haldir and Celeborn had tried to
offer them some measure of comfort, spending more time in their company.
Rumil and Orophin in turn appreciated Celeborn’s concern. But they
had also seen the rift between the Lord and the Lady of the Golden Wood. When
Galadriel had found out about Celeborn’s decision to send Erestor to Imladris,
she had called it betrayal. Celeborn, who’d had enough of her unpredictable
behavior, had left their talan, acquiring one for himself.
The three of them had begun to visit with each other, or walk the
woods at night. They discussed the past, the fact that they missed Haldir and
Erestor, and a new bond had formed. They had become good friends. So when
Celeborn had joined them to visit the tomb, they had fallen into step beside
the elder Elf, walking in silence, which seemed only proper as they were
remembering the dead.
All three Elves halted in their tracks, catching sight of Tirith.
“What is that horse doing here?” asked Celeborn, concerned. Taking the lead, he
began to run toward the stallion and he was the first to see Erestor’s crumpled
form in front of the tomb. “By the Valar! Nay, not this!” He dropped onto his knees beside Erestor,
who had never looked this bad before. The long hair was a tangled mass, the
skin deathly white and bones protruded from the skin. “What are you doing
here?” Erestor should be safe in Imladris! Especially now that the Elf was
pregnant! Alarmed, Celeborn rested his hand on Erestor’s flat abdomen. “Not
again!” Had Erestor suffered a second miscarriage and had the loss finally
robbed him of his sanity? Driving him back to his sons’ tomb? “Orophin, Rumil!
Help me!”
The two brothers joined Celeborn and their features contorted,
recognizing Erestor, realizing what had obviously happened. A deep sense of
loss and protectiveness came over them as they helped Celeborn to pull Erestor
into a sitting position.
“Did he lose the child? Again?” Rumil
already knew the answer, seeing Erestor’s flat abdomen, but he still needed to
voice his fears.
“I am afraid so.” Celeborn guided Erestor’s head onto his
shoulder. “We have to take him into safety. Once Galadriel finds out he is here…”
His voice trailed off ominously.
“We can take him to our talan,” suggested Orophin, eager to take
care of Erestor. “Maybe our presence will keep him from slipping away from us
for another three millennia.”
“Aye, your suggestion is sound.” Celeborn carefully lifted
Erestor’s fragile body in his arms. “Rumil, take care of
Tirith. Orophin, you are with me.” He caught the displeased expression
in Rumil’s eyes, but hoped the younger Elf would eventually obey. “You can sit
with Erestor later, now move!”
Rumil obeyed reluctantly, watching Celeborn and Orophin leave with
Erestor. He had no idea what had caused Erestor to lose this child and he hoped
Elrond wasn’t to blame for Erestor’s current state. But if the half-Elf was,
Rumil vowed to keep the Peredhel away from Erestor. /I will ensure Erestor’s
safety. He won’t fade or withdraw into himself again. I won’t allow it./ And he was certain that Orophin and Celeborn agreed with
him. Together, they would see to Erestor’s safety – and recovery!
TBC
Beta read by
Sulien.
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in Chains
Part 34
Celeborn tucked Erestor into Orophin’s bed after removing the
clammy nightshirt. It had rained heavily last night and getting Erestor warm
and dry was his first priority. Erestor trembled fiercely, his lips moving but
with no sound forthcoming, causing Celeborn’s worries to increase. “I see the
mark of death on him.”
“We must contact Elrond Half-Elven,” said Orophin in concern,
rubbing Erestor’s brow, wishing the dark-haired Elf would warm up now that he
was in bed.
“I will return to Galadriel’s side,” announced Celeborn with
obvious reluctance. “I will keep her distracted. In the meantime I will also
dispatch a messenger to Imladris. I need to know what caused Erestor to run
back here in such a poor condition.” He didn’t want to leave Erestor’s side,
but knew he had to keep Galadriel distracted as he didn’t know how she would
react to finding out Erestor was here. “Keep a close eye on him and send for
the healers.”
Orophin nodded once. “He is in the best hands with me.”
“I know that,” said Celeborn firmly. After giving Orophin a
reassuring smile, he reluctantly returned to Galadriel, hoping he could keep
Erestor hidden until he had sorted out this mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Orophin?” Rumil
soundlessly advanced on his brother, and smiled, finding Orophin had crawled
into bed with Erestor in an obvious effort to warm him. “How does he fare?”
“He is as cold as ice,” whispered Orophin in concern. “Join us,
maybe your body heat will help.”
As Orophin lay spooned behind Erestor, Rumil lay down face to face
with the dark-haired Elf. Wrapping his arms around Erestor and partly over
Orophin, he created a warm cocoon. “I am afraid this won’t help.”
“He needs Elrond to complete the bond,” said Orophin. “By the
Valar, if the Peredhel has hurt him and caused him to run away, he will answer
to me!” Ever since Erestor had pulled him back from the Great Halls of Mandos,
he had felt fiercely protective of the raven-haired Elf. And now that Erestor
was so fragile, he desperately wanted to help.
“According to Haldir’s last message, Erestor enjoyed his new life
in Imladris. Haldir even mentioned Erestor being happy.” Haldir had always
stayed in contact with them via letters and they had been glad to learn about
Erestor’s happiness. But now, the two brothers felt confused.
“Do you think Elrond did something… unforgivable when finding out
Erestor had a miscarriage?” suggested Orophin.
“Nay, the Peredhel does not know he fathered Erestor’s child.
Something else must have caused this. Maybe Erestor overreacted when he lost
his child and came here to…”
“Die?” finished Orophin for his brother. “It would explain why we
found him unconscious next to the tomb.”
“He never forgave himself for losing the twins,” whispered Rumil
sorrowfully, “’T’was not his fault. If I had not
fetched him to help, his sons might have lived.”
“Do not torment yourself in this way. It serves no purpose. We
will just have to wait for the messenger to return from Imladris, with our
without the half-Elf.”
“I hope that Elrond will come here and is willing to bond with
Erestor. After everything he has been through…” Rumil vividly remembered
Erestor’s reaction to losing his twins. “Aiya, Erestor deserves so much
better!”
Orophin agreed with his brother, but knew they couldn’t force
Elrond into a bond with Erestor, but maybe if they revealed the extent of
Erestor’s pain, the half-Elf would agree to bind himself to the hurting Elf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond felt invigorated when they finally entered the Golden Wood.
His first intention had been to seek out Galadriel and confront her with her
past actions, but he had quickly dismissed that idea. First he had to find
Erestor and if necessary, help him recover. Looking at Glorfindel, who was
riding next to him, he addressed him. “We need to locate Erestor as quickly as
possible.”
“Maybe I can help,” said Haldir, who now joined them. “My brothers
can make inquiries about Erestor’s whereabouts.”
“Good, contact them.” Elrond now looked over his shoulder at his
sons. “I want you to stay close to me at all times.”
The twins nodded gravely. “What about grandmother?”
“We will try to avoid her as much as possible… for now.” The last two
words came out as a growl. “I will deal with her later. We need to concentrate
on Erestor for now.”
“And grandfather?” asked Elladan, “From what Glorfindel told us, I
gather he is on Erestor’s side.”
“Good thinking,” said Elrond,
“Glorfindel, find out if Celeborn is willing to help us.” They were running out
of time. He had no idea how Erestor had managed to survive so far, but he could
sense the bond weakening. “And remember, we have to find Erestor as quickly as
possible!” Shifting his gaze from one face to the other, he was reminded of the
fact that they cared for Erestor as well, and that they would do their best to
help him save his new bond mate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celeborn released a sigh of relief, finding that Galadriel had
left the talan to visit two Elves who had been attacked and severely injured by
a Warg that had managed to penetrate their borders. This unexpected event gave
him time to consider his next move concerning Erestor. He had already
dispatched a messenger, urging Elrond to leave Imladris and to come to
Erestor’s aid.
“My Lord?” One of the
Galadhrim approached, clearing his throat. “You have visitors.”
Celeborn raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. “Who is it?” But the
Galadhrim didn’t get a chance to answer the question, as Elrond, Glorfindel and
the twins were already advancing on him. He started to smile, finding Elrond
already in Lothlorien, but that smile froze upon seeing the grim expression in
the Peredhel’s eyes. He had known Elrond for millennia and realized the
half-Elf was severely distressed.
“Celeborn, where is he?” Elrond bared his teeth. “Where is
Erestor?” Glorfindel’s hand suddenly came to rest on his shoulder, trying to
ground him, but he shook it off. “I know he is here! We followed his tracks and
I can sense his presence. It is weak, but I can feel him!”
The rage in Elrond’s stormy eyes briefly took Celeborn’s breath
away. “You can sense him?” What did that mean?
“I do not have the time to discuss this with you!” raged Elrond.
“I demand you take me to Erestor!”
Glorfindel cleared his throat, knowing from personal experience
that it would take Elrond some time to calm down now that he had worked himself
in to a temper tantrum. “We know what Erestor did after the battle of the Last
Alliance and that he confirmed their bond when Celebrian sailed for Valinor. We
also know that Elrond fathered his children and that Erestor bound himself to
him. Now we need to find him before he does anything foolish.”
“You know?” Celeborn rose from his chair and advanced on Elrond,
answering the half-Elf’s glare with one of his own. “What else do you know?” He
had to find out where Elrond stood in this matter and what his motives were.
“I know he bonded with me to stop me from fading and that he has
been caught in this half-life ever since,” sneered Elrond, enraged. “Several
days ago, Elladan was brought before me, having suffered a mortal injury and
Erestor healed him. That was when I finally understood!”
“He healed Elladan…” For that, Celeborn was truly thankful as he
loved his grandson, but… “His child… he lost the baby.”
“Camfael and I had to open his abdomen for our daughter to be
born, but she is well.” Elrond was growing impatient.
“The baby survived?” Celeborn felt truly lost now. “Then why did
Erestor flee Imladris?” He couldn’t believe that Erestor would desert his
daughter!
“Aye, Indlîrien is alive and well. Arwen is looking after her, but
the baby needs Erestor!” Frustrated, Elrond glowered at Celeborn. “Where is
he?”
Celeborn swallowed hard. “Do you know that Erestor loves you?”
“Yes, and I love him! I even bonded with him to keep him alive
after the surgery! That is why I can sense him. You have no right to keep me
away from my mate or are you still playing games with me?”
Celeborn forced himself to remain calm. “I made mistakes.”
“You forced him to bind himself to me! You ordered him into my
bed!” raged Elrond. “You never gave him a choice!”
“Galadriel assured me that it was the only way to keep you from
fading and I believed her, trusted her judgment. I am not saying I do not carry
any blame, but—“
“Stop it, both of you!” Elladan had had enough. “Ata’da, if you know where we can find Erestor, then take us to him now!”
Celeborn nodded his head once. “Rumil and Orophin are looking
after him. We found him at his sons’ tomb and he is more dead than alive.
Elrond, he will need your strength to survive, for I fear he came here to die.”
“Then what are we doing wasting precious time?” Elrond had already
started for the doorway when Haldir suddenly appeared.
“I know where Erestor is!” announced Haldir.
“So do I. In your
brothers’ talan. Take us there, Haldir.” Elrond’s eyes burned with fear
for Erestor’s well-being, but there was anger as well. “And I am not yet
through with you, Celeborn!” Surprised, he noticed that his father in law had
fallen into step beside him as they made their way to the brothers’ talan.
“You will probably not believe this, but I also worry about
Erestor and I greatly care about him. I wish I had made different decisions in
the past, and I tried to protect him when I realized he was pregnant again.
That is why I sent him to Imladris. I had to get him away from my wife.”
Elrond raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “I know Galadriel played a
vital part in this, but why did you not stop her?”
“I believed it was the right thing to do… at the time. I no longer
believe that.” Celeborn’s expression grew saddened. “That is why I have kept
Erestor’s presence here a secret.”
“What you did was wrong,” mumbled Elrond, growing slightly calmer
now that he could sense Erestor’s closeness. “You ordered him into my bed and
when I sired his sons I should have been told.”
“They died,” whispered Celeborn in a melancholy tone, “And you
were still recovering from the High King’s death. We did not dare place this
burden on your shoulders.”
“So you let Erestor carry his pain alone.” Elrond averted his
eyes. “I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive you for that. I had the
right to be told.”
“In retrospect, I agree, but at the time…” Galadriel’s influence
on him had been too strong. “What will you do now?”
“I will take Erestor back to Imladris with me. I do not want him
to stay here any longer than strictly necessary!” Elrond looked at the talan
that Haldir pointed out to him. Apparently they had reached their destination.
Turning to his sons, he said, “Wait here. Only Haldir will accompany me.”
No one dared to object when Elrond and Haldir climbed the stairs.
Celeborn and Glorfindel exchanged worried looks, both Elves hoping Elrond was
in time to keep Erestor with them. The twins however, were focused on something
else, and it was Elladan who asked Celeborn the question that haunted them. “The
tomb that holds our brothers’ remains… Where can we find it?”
“I will take you there,” offered Celeborn, deeply regretting never
telling Elrond. “Glorfindel?”
“I will stay here and wait for them to return.” He would also make
sure no one disturbed Elrond and Erestor.
Celeborn signaled for his grandsons to follow him, as he led them
to the marble tomb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Standing in front of the tomb, Elladan and Elrohir wrapped an arm
around each other’s waist. “’Tis
hard to believe that we could have had brothers. Older
brothers.” He ignored the fact that they would have been half-brothers.
“Erestor mourned the loss for nearly three thousand years,” said
Celeborn thoughtfully. “When he looked upon the two of you, he must have been
reminded of his sons, for they would have bore you a great resemblance.” He
moistened his lips, hoping he wasn’t making this worse. “You do understand that
he probably looks upon you as his sons? That he wants to love you and care for
you?”
The twins paled, recalling the first time they had met Erestor.
“And we hurt him with our words instead.” Seeing Celeborn’s sudden distressed
expression, Elladan sighed deeply. “We regret our actions. We spoke out because
we were hurting inside and thought our father had already picked a replacement
for our mother. We could not accept that.”
“But now you know that Erestor has been bound to your father for
millennia. Has that fact changed your mind?”
“It has,” admitted Elrohir, staring at the small tomb. “Father
wants to take Erestor back to Imladris as quickly as possible and it will rob
Erestor of the possibility to visit here.” His gaze locked with Elladan’s.
“Maybe there is a way to take this tomb with us? It is not that large and we
might be able to take it home with us. For some reason I feel that they should
find their final resting place in Imladris, and not the Golden Wood.”
Elladan, who at first had been surprised, began to understand.
These babies had been Elrond’s offspring and should rest in Imladris’ soil, not
in the Golden Wood where Erestor had suffered so much misery. “You are right,
but we should ask father and Erestor first.”
Celeborn had listened to them in silence and now spoke up. “I
would like to travel to Imladris myself and meet my new granddaughter.” He
looked upon Elrond and Erestor as his sons and that made Indlîrien family.
“Then come with us,” said Elladan passionately. “I am sure father
and you can work out the differences you have.”
“I accept,” said Celeborn firmly. He needed time away from his
wife and this way he could stay close to Erestor and meet Indlîrien. Aye, he
would leave Lothlorien for now and focus on helping Erestor heal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Let me enter first,” suggested Haldir. “I know how protective my
brothers are when it comes to Erestor and seeing you unexpectedly might trigger
their instincts.”
“But I will be right behind you!” Elrond could feel Erestor slip
further away from him and he had to share his life energy with his mate now if
Erestor was to stay alive.
Haldir nodded, opened the door and stepped inside. Surprised yelps
echoed from within the talan and Haldir smiled broadly, seeing the situation
his brothers and Erestor were in. “Keeping him warm, are you?”
At seeing Haldir this unexpectedly, Orophin moved away from
Erestor, left the bed and tucked the blanket around his charge’s form, knowing
instinctively that Rumil would stay close to the dark-haired Elf. “Haldir, it
is good to see you!” He was walking toward Haldir when he caught sight of
Elrond, who now stepped into the talan as well.
Orophin’s reaction took Elrond aback. The silver-haired sentry
actually growled at him! “Peace! I am here to help!” Haldir
had warned him of his brothers’ protectiveness toward Erestor and approached
the sentry *slowly*. He had already caught sight of Erestor asleep in
the bed, but he had also seen the violent tremors that rocked his mate’s body
and the moving, yet silent lips.
“You!” Orophin
finally released his anger, which had been pent up for millennia. “What did you
do to cause him to run away from Imladris? Do you have any idea what state he
was in when we found him? And he is not getting any better!”
Elrond reminded himself that Orophin was acting in this way
because the sentry was worried for Erestor. “Erestor nearly died when he gave
birth to our daughter. I bonded with him, but he never realized what happened
and left.”
“You bonded with him?” Orophin studied Elrond, and found that the
half-Elf’s eyes remained trained on Erestor’s form.
“Aye, I did. He might have died after the birth otherwise. I am
here to take him back to Imladris so he can be with our daughter.” Elrond hoped
Orophin would step aside. The look Rumil was giving him was rather hard to
read. Erestor was truly blessed with such fierce protectors.
“The child is alive?” Rumil, who had been quiet up until now, felt
overjoyed at hearing this news.
“Aye, Indlîrien is a treasure and she has already found a place in
my heart,” said Elrond sincerely. “Please, let me attend to Erestor’s needs. He
is cold and continues to grow weaker. Let me hold him and share my life energy
with him… Please.” He had seldom begged anyone before but he would do anything
to get access to Erestor.
Rumil exchanged a glance with Haldir. “Are the things he told us
true?”
“Your protective feelings for Erestor do you credit, but Elrond
speaks the truth. They bonded and are very much in love.” Haldir smiled
reassuringly, placing a hand on Orophin’s shoulder. “We should give them some
privacy.”
Rumil sighed deeply, regretting having to release his hold on
Erestor. “He is still cold.”
Elrond, realizing they had given in, approached the bed. He looked
deeply into Rumil’s eyes, and said, “I will warm him up, keep him safe and take
care of him. I promise.”
Rumil nodded once and then joined his brothers. “I hope you will
keep your word, for if you do not, you *will* answer to us.”
Elrond knew they were being sincere. They had adopted Erestor and
the dark-haired Elf was part of their family. /Which means I will probably have
to ask Rumil and Orophin to travel to Imladris with us.
If Erestor is really so attached to them, I want all three of them in Imladris./
“Come with me,” said Haldir, guiding his brothers outside. “Elrond
needs to attend to Erestor and he should do that in privacy.”
Once outside, Rumil kicked the tree, mentally apologizing when the
mallorn tree protested. “I do not want to let him out
of my sight, Haldir. He is so vulnerable.”
“But none of it is Elrond’s fault,” soothed Haldir, “Let us find a
quiet spot and then I will tell you what happened before Erestor left
Imladris.” Once his brothers understood that Erestor had overreacted, they
might treat Elrond in a friendlier way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond removed his boots, leggings, cloak and shirt, but left on
the loincloth, not wanting Erestor to draw the wrong conclusion should the Elf
wake up unexpectedly in his arms. Quickly, he slipped between the covers,
bringing their bodies into close contact. After wrapping his arms and legs
around Erestor’s body, he guided the other Elf’s arms around his waist.
Satisfied that they were as close as they could possibly be, he ran his fingers
through the tangled mane, guiding Erestor’s head onto his shoulder.
“I have you now, love, and I am never going to let go again, but
you have to stop running away from me. I mean you no harm. I gather that you
thought you had lost our daughter and came here to die. That is not acceptable.
I understand that you have been hurt beyond words during these last few
millennia, but I promise you that things will change for the better. You are
with me now and I vow to make you happy.”
Whilst he had been speaking, his energy had begun to flow into
Erestor’s fëa and body. The energy transfer weakened him, but he gave as much
as he could spare. Awed, he found that the color had returned to Erestor’s face
and the tremors were fading away. Erestor was obviously growing stronger.
“Accept my love for you, and my closeness.” Elrond pressed a chaste kiss onto
Erestor’s lips. “Once you feel strong enough to travel, I will take you back to
Imladris with me. Your daughter needs you.”
Erestor moaned against him and Elrond held his breath in
anticipation, but the dark-haired Elf didn’t wake up. “You can sense my
presence. You know I am here. Aiya, Erestor, my heart threatened to break in
two when I realized you had left. I was so afraid that I would find you dead on
the road.” Rubbing soothing circles on Erestor’s back, he briefly closed his eyes,
finally allowing himself to believe that he had reclaimed his mate. “I have you
now.”
Erestor moved closer and Elrond instinctively tightened his hold
on his mate. “I talked to Celeborn,” he said, pretending Erestor was awake.
Maybe hearing his voice would urge Erestor to wake up. “And he is trying to
keep you safe, but we cannot stay here for long. You have to wake up for me, my
love.”
But Erestor didn’t have any intentions of waking up yet. He was
finally beginning to feel warm and stronger. All he wanted was to remain asleep
and cherish this sensation. In his current state he could even pretend Elrond
was with him, holding him. But the half-Elf would never hold him again. Elrond
hated him for losing his children. Maybe the Peredhel would have forgiven him
for losing his daughter, as he had saved Elladan’s life instead, but would
Elrond also forgive him for losing his heirs? He doubted it. He had made too
many mistakes.
“Erestor? Wake up for
me. I know you are returning to consciousness again. I can feel it.” Elrond
continued to caress Erestor’s back and hair, praying to the Valar that his mate
wouldn’t retreat into himself like Erestor had done after losing the twins. Not
when he was here to support his lover and help Erestor recover.
Wondering why he was hearing Elrond’s soothing voice, Erestor hung
on to this state between waking and sleep, unwilling to face reality just yet.
/Why am I still alive? Why won’t I die?/
Elrond sensed Erestor’s somber thoughts and acted at once. “There
is no reason to be this gloomy. Our daughter is well and awaiting your return.
Why are you so unwilling to return to me? Do you not know how much I love you?”
/Love me?/ Erestor felt confused, hearing
Elrond’s words. /Why would he say that?/ Yes, it was
true; there had been a growing affection between them, but it had died with his
daughter. /I must be dreaming. Maybe Nienna took pity
on me and gave me this comforting dream./
“Erestor, I know you can hear me!” Elrond was growing frustrated.
Lifting the blanket, he quickly checked the wound, finding the bandages gone
and the wound healing. There was no sign of infection and the wound wasn’t
responsible for Erestor’s continuing catatonia. “Come back to me, now!” Elrond
placed every ounce of his authority, love and need in
those words, hoping his voice would finally register with Erestor as real.
Erestor’s eyes opened in shock and grew wide, suddenly
understanding that Elrond was here, holding and soothing him. Alarmed, he
stared into the stormy gray eyes and he prayed to Nienna
to grant him the strength to deal with the half-Elf’s wrath after having lost
their daughter.
TBC
Beta read by
Sulien.
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in Chains
Part 35
“El… r-rond?” Stuttering,
Erestor’s first reaction was to pull away from the half-Elf, but he quickly
realized that Elrond had a tight hold on him. There was no way to get away from
the Peredhel. Big-eyed, he stared at Elrond in obvious fear.
Finding fear in Erestor’s doe-like eyes startled Elrond. What had
he done to put it there? “Erestor? Please calm
yourself, I mean you no harm. I can sense your fear, but I have no idea why you
feel you need to fear me.”
Erestor closed his eyes, unable to look at the half-Elf now that
he had failed him again. “I am-m sorry…”
“What for?” Elrond felt
frustrated, feeling the tremors return to Erestor’s body. “There is nothing you
need to be sorry for!”
“Our-r d-dau… daughter-r…” Erestor
pinched his eyes tightly shut, as he didn’t want to see the disgust on Elrond’s
face. “My f-fault-t she…
d-d-died.”
Elrond couldn’t help it; he released a relieved sigh. “Our
daughter is alive and well! She did not die!” He placed his hands on Erestor’s
shoulders, shaking the other Elf weakly. “Indlîrien is in the best hands with
Arwen and Lindir. I would have brought her here, but she is too young to
travel.”
Erestor stared at Elrond in sheer disbelief. “A…
ali…ve?” He couldn’t
believe that! “But-t…”
“You lost consciousness when you healed Elladan, but Camfael and I
delivered the baby within the hour. Even Elrohir helped.” Feeling proud of
Erestor, he kissed the other’s clammy brow. “Haldir was the most upset, as he
was afraid history would repeat itself, and pulled you away from Elladan.”
“She… is-s… alive? She… did…
n-not-t die?” How was that possible? Suddenly he became aware of Elrond’s
hands, which soothingly rubbed his back and stroked his hair. And what had
Elrond called her? “Indlîrien?”
“I wanted you to name her, but as you were unconscious I had to
choose a name instead. If you do not like it, we can still change—“
“No, I like it!” said Erestor quickly, daring to believe Elrond.
“You are being honest with me? She is alive?”
“I would never lie to you,” said Elrond firmly. “I know you
assumed she had died, finding no cradle in your room and no baby in your arms,
but she was so small, so tiny… we had to warm her up and…”
“I…” Lost for words, Erestor stared at the half-Elf.
Elrond realized he would have to do most of the talking. “I know
about the twins, love.” Elrond wasn’t prepared for the keening wail Erestor
released when he addressed the subject of their sons. “I am furious with
Galadriel and Celeborn for not telling me! I deserved to know that you were
pregnant with my heirs!”
“I did n-ot-t want-t to lose them-m…
Please… be…lieve m-me… But Te…
Telu… I did not… have a choice…” Erestor was shaking
like a leaf in Elrond’s arms. “For…gi-forgive me…”
“Oh, Erestor!” Elrond
sighed, distressed because Erestor was distressed. “That was not your fault.
Haldir told me what happened. They did not give you a choice, as you just said
yourself. Believe me, there is nothing to forgive.” Erestor’s big eyes stared
at him in disbelief. “I am sincere, my love. I am sad – mostly furious though –
that they did not survive, but I would never blame it on you!”
“I even made plans… to have them smuggled… to Imladris… I thought
that maybe Camfael… would do it, but then they… d-died-d.” Elrond’s fingers
suddenly entwined with his and squeezed gently, obviously in an effort to
reassure him. “I… wanted to tell you… I really did, but I was afraid of what…
Galadriel… would do.”
“You will never have to live in fear of her ever again.” Elrond
gently claimed Erestor’s lips, desperate to confirm this bond between them,
which reminded him… “Uh, Erestor? Do you remember what
happened after the surgery?”
Erestor blinked once, twice, and then shook his head. “I do not.”
“I bound myself to you,” said Elrond, smiling brilliantly. “I
finally took that step.”
Erestor involuntarily sucked in his breath. “You did what?”
Focusing inwardly, he found Elrond’s words true. A new dimension had been added
to their connection and he could feel the half-Elf strengthening him. “Why?” Why
would Elrond do that?
“Because I love you!” Elrond’s
frustration was mounting. “Why won’t you understand? I love you! I love our
daughter and I want this bond to be complete. You have strengthened me for so
many millennia! I want you to feel whole again.” He smiled. “Not to mention the
fact that we are now married, Erestor. You are my official mate.”
“How can you… forgive me for losing your heirs? For
manipulating you all these years?”
“Because I know they forced you into binding yourself to me,” started
Elrond, “But I also know it became more throughout the years. Do you have any
idea how many nights I dreamt of my mysterious savior and wished he would
return to me? That last time you came to me in Lothlorien, I did not drink the
sleeping potion Galadriel was feeding me, and I saw you, really saw you for the
first time.”
Erestor clung to Elrond’s every word, his hopes suddenly coming
true. But he was still too afraid to believe Elrond really loved him.
“I ordered Glorfindel to find out your identity and to bring you
to me, but you proved elusive. When I left Lothlorien my heart was heavy and I
placed my spies there, intent on finding you. I was so blind when you arrived
in Imladris. I should have realized it was you when an unexpected touch of mine
triggered a small energy transfer.” Elrond’s mouth was going dry, but he
couldn’t stop now. “When Haldir told me everything about you, my heart bled,
realizing how many dreadful things had happened to you, beginning with Orophin
drawing the wrong conclusion that day.” He unexpectedly grinned at Erestor.
“You helped my mother to look after me.”
“Aye, I did,” mumbled Erestor, blushing shyly. “You were a really
lovely child. It was Elros who always got you into trouble.”
“Tell me more.”
Erestor swallowed hard, trying to please Elrond. “You once threw
mud into my face… and you always needed your dolphin close. It was the only
animal that could defeat Elros’ octopus.”
“Hence the request for the nursery to resemble the Havens of
Sirion,” said Elrond in understanding, running his thumb along Erestor’s jaw
line.
“Aye, and one night… one night you climbed into bed with me. Your
father found us that way and told me Elros had snuggled up to his wife. He also
told me that, if I did not think you trouble, I should let you sleep in my arms
that night.”
Memories were triggered and Elrond began to remember more vividly.
“He gave me a seashell…”
“And you fell asleep listening to it.” Erestor nervously licked
his lips. “The day of the attack was one of the worst in my life. Your mother
had sent me to the haven to buy some fish and the attack happened when I was on
my way back. I found Rhoss bleeding to death and knew
I had to keep the knife in place until I could work my healing powers on him.
That was when Orophin came upon us.”
Elrond studied Erestor’s swimming eyes. “Galadriel and Celeborn
sentenced you to lifelong imprisonment for something you did not do.”
“I tried to tell them,” whispered Erestor, lost in memories, “but
they refused to listen. After binding myself to you,
Celeborn realized he had erred and tried to help me, but Galadriel, she hurt me
the most. The things she said…” His voice trailed off, not wanting to relive
those horrid moments.
Elrond knew what Erestor was hinting at and his anger returned. “She
called our sons bastards.” He hated the way Erestor flinched in his arms and
wished he hadn’t said that. “I will confront her with that fact.”
“You had better not do that,” said Erestor pleadingly, “She hates
me and the last thing she wants is for you to be with me.”
“Well, she will have to accept this -- us -- as we are bound to
one another!”
Erestor, whose throat felt awfully dry, asked, “Can I have some
water?”
Looking about in search for a drink, Elrond found a glass filled with
water on the floor and helped Erestor to empty it.
“What will happen now?” asked Erestor, settling against the
half-Elf’s body again.
“I will take you home to meet our daughter and I will pamper you
for the rest of your life!”
Erestor chuckled lightly at hearing that. “You will grow tired of
me.”
“I won’t!” Elrond was delighted, realizing Erestor was teasing him
mildly. “I love you too much to grow tired of you!”
“And… Elladan and Elrohir? Will they
accept this?” Erestor looked up from where his head rested on Elrond’s chest.
“They hate me.”
“They do not hate you. Their hate was aimed at themselves and they
finally realized that. When Elrohir was rocking Indlîrien, I saw the beginning
of brotherly love in his eyes.” Elrond traced Erestor’s right eyebrow with his
thumb. “Let me take you home, melamin, and allow me to make you – and our
daughter – happy.”
“I always wanted to hear you say that,” said Erestor, blushing
fiercely.
“Do you accept my offer?” Elrond gave his mate a brilliant smile.
Erestor knew it was the sensible thing to do and he did want this.
“I accept,” whispered he shyly. “I hope I can make you happy in turn.”
“You have already done that by giving me such a beautiful
daughter.” Elrond brushed his lips against Erestor’s. “She has your lips and
nose, love.”
Erestor’s blush deepened. “I cannot believe that this is really
happening. I dreamt of your love for so long.”
“And now you have it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celeborn and the twins joined Glorfindel, who still stood guard
near the stairs to the talan. “Have you heard anything yet?” Celeborn was
worried for Erestor’s well-being. He did believe Elrond meant well, but he also
knew Erestor tended to misunderstand good intentions.
“Nothing yet,” said Glorfindel, feeling miserable. But his mood
brightened, seeing Haldir and his brothers approach.
Briefly, he wondered if Rumil and Orophin knew of his marriage to Haldir. It
certainly wasn’t his place to tell them. Haldir should do that. Haldir then
surprised him by possessively claiming his lips and wrapping his tongue around
his. Glorfindel moaned in surprise and caught the cheerful laughter that
erupted from the two brothers. /I can safely assume they know,/
he thought dryly.
“Glorfindel,” said Haldir, pulling back. “I do not think you were
ever properly introduced to your brothers in law. This is Orophin, the youngest
of the three of us.”
“You have no idea how many times I had to hear that,” said
Orophin, groaning.
“And this is Rumil.” Haldir smiled at his brothers. “I greatly
missed you two during my time in Imladris.”
”We are glad to be reunited with you,” replied Rumil, “Even if it is only for
such a short time.”
Celeborn smiled at the three of them, wondering how they had ever
survived being apart. “All three of them are Erestor’s ‘protectors’,” he said
proudly, looking at Glorfindel and then his grandsons. “And Elbereth knows that
he needed them.”
“When we found Erestor near the tomb, we assumed the worst,” said
Orophin, his eyes still carrying a hint of tears. “We thought that he had
suffered another miscarriage and had come here to die.”
“That *is* what Erestor thought,” confirmed Haldir.
“But when we heard that Indlîrien was alive and faring well, we were
overjoyed.” Orophin smiled happily.
“Maybe we should take some food to them?” suggested Celeborn. “It
seems quite useless to stand here all day long. Let me arrange for guest
quarters close to this talan. Orophin? I think you and
your bothers will need to stay elsewhere for the time being. I doubt Elrond
will want to share Erestor with the three of you.”
The three brothers nodded; they didn’t care about losing their
talan to Elrond and Erestor. They were much too happy that Erestor’s daughter
was alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elladan and Elrohir demanded that they should take the tray of
food to their father and Erestor. At first, Haldir had wanted to do this, but
they had pleaded with the guardian to give them a chance to talk to Erestor.
They still felt guilty for the way they had treated the pregnant Elf and needed
to talk things through with him. In the end, Haldir had relented.
Elladan knocked, whilst Elrohir carefully balanced the tray. They briefly
exchanged looks, hoping the upcoming conversation would go well and ease the
minds of all parties involved.
“Enter.”
Recognizing their father’s voice, Elladan opened the door and then
stepped aside to let his twin enter. As he was looking at Elrond and Erestor,
who were cuddled up to one another in the bed, he immediately noticed the
alarmed look in Erestor’s eyes. “Peace, we bring you dinner.”
Erestor, realizing Elladan had addressed him specifically, looked
questioningly at Elrond, and then began to pull away, trying to distance
himself, as he didn’t want the twins to grow irritated with finding them in
this way.
Elladan finally fully understood the hurt his brother and he had
inflicted and sat down on the floor, next to Erestor’s bedside. Elrohir placed
the tray on the bed and then occupied the only chair in the small bedroom. The
twins spoke up simultaneously, as if with one voice. “We owe you an apology,
Erestor.”
Elrond smiled, pleased, hearing his sons
say that. He had hoped they would put their hatred behind them and look toward
the future instead.
Erestor blinked in surprise. “An apology?”
That was the last thing he had expected to hear!
“For a lot of things,” said Elrohir, taking the lead as he often
did, “But foremost for addressing you in such an unbecoming manner the first
time we met. We had no right to address you like that.”
Erestor shrugged his shoulders once. “Everything you said was
true. Your father did bed me and sire my child.” Unable to meet their gray eyes
any longer, he averted his. “You have every reason to dislike me.”
“Maybe,” said Elrohir thoughtfully, “But we did not have the right
to judge you.” He cleared his throat, uncertain if he should address this
matter. “We visited the tomb with our grandfather, and while we were standing
there we began to realize how much you had lost.”
Tears swam in Erestor’s eyes, and as they were closed, they
erupted from beneath the closed eyelids. “I imagined they would have looked
like the two of you.” His voice took on a distant tone. “The first time I saw
the two of you, I knew my sons would have looked like you and I wanted to get
to know you to...” Unable to finish, he sobbed softly, embarrassed to show his
hurt so openly.
Elladan rose from the floor and sat down on the side of the bed. “Erestor?” Elrohir followed his brother’s lead and came to
stand behind Elladan, resting his hands on his twin’s shoulders. “Erestor, look
at us?”
Erestor reluctantly opened his swimming eyes. Looking at them only
worsened his pain.
“All this is rather unexpected,” started Elladan in a soft voice,
“And we did not realize how ‘special’ we are to you until we stood near that
tomb.” His twin squeezed his shoulder, telling him to continue. “We wanted to
tell you that we will never willingly hurt you again and if… if you would like
to do so, you can fuss over us.”
“What my dear brother is trying to say,” said Elrohir, taking
over, “is that we accept you into this family.”
Elrond had never felt more proud of his sons and gave them a grateful
smile. “You have no idea how much this means to me – us.”
Looking into Erestor’s chocolate brown eyes, Elladan said, “I
think we do, Adar.” Erestor’s pain had become real when they had stood near
that tomb, realizing the sacrifices Erestor had made so their father could
live. Slowly, making sure Erestor saw what he was doing,
he placed his hand on the skeleton like fingers. “And now eat. You are too
skinny.”
“That is Rumil’s line,” said Erestor, breathlessly. It would take
him time to accept that the twins wanted him to be part of their family, but he
would do his best to never let them down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rumil had climbed the branches of the neighboring tree in order to
check on Elrond and Erestor, ignoring the mallorn’s
protests at being exploited in such a way. It was the dead of night, and yet
Elrond and Erestor remained locked away in their talan. That had piqued Rumil’s
curiosity. “Stop making such noise! You will give us away!”
Orophin mumbled softly. “This was your idea, dear brother! Haldir
told us they were fine and we should take his word on that!”
“I need to see for myself. When we found Erestor he was dying. I
need to know he is improving.”
“With his bonded mate at his side, he should recover quickly!”
Orophin cursed his brother when part of a branch snapped loose. “Look out! You
have the grace of an Orc!”
Rumil had finally reached the right spot to peek inside. A smile
spread over his face, finding that Elrond was holding Erestor close, both
peacefully asleep. “Erestor is fine.”
“Would the two of you now come down and stop upsetting the trees
and animals?” Celeborn looked up into the tree, smiling at them. At times, they
reminded him of mischievous Elflings.
Rumil, being the quickest to react, climbed down and let himself drop onto the ground. “We had to make sure—“
“I know, but leave them be now. Off with you.” Celeborn watched
Rumil walk away with a happy smile on his face. “Same goes for you, Orophin.”
Orophin had doubtlessly become very dear to him. There was
something about the younger Elf that touched his heart. /And I locked these
emotions away when I started to feel them for the first time./
It was a road he couldn’t walk, even if he wanted to. He was bound to
Galadriel. Unexpectedly, the branch, which Orophin was standing on, snapped and
the sentry’s breath was knocked out of him as he began to fall toward the
ground.
Celeborn reacted instinctively, moved closer and managed to break
Orophin’s fall. Both Elves lay panting on the ground, but Celeborn was the
first to catch his breath again. “You always were trouble, Orophin.” He
recalled a time when Orophin had been an Elfling, crawling behind Haldir and
falling into a large pool of mud. He had resembled an Orc after that and his
brothers had teased him mercilessly. The poor Elfling hadn’t understood what he
had done wrong and had come running to him for comfort, which he had of course
given. Over the next few millennia, he had continued to grow fonder of Orophin
and he had locked that attraction away even deeper.
“”Tis a good thing I am not mortal,”
mused Orophin, pushing himself to his feet again. Offering Celeborn his hand,
he wriggled an eyebrow. “May I help you back to your feet, my Lord?”
Celeborn snorted, but accepted the help. Orophin’s hand felt warm
in his and he held it longer than was strictly necessary. “Join your bothers,
you rascal, and make sure I do not catch you spying on Elrond and Erestor
again.”
Orophin smiled, wondering why the Lord of the Golden Wood was
still holding his hand. Was it just his imagination or was Celeborn gently
rubbing his knuckles? /I did not fall on my head, now did I?/
Growing aware of the caress he was bestowing on the other’s hand,
Celeborn released the limb as if bitten by a snake. “Off with you, then.”
“Are you sure you want to send me away?” Orophin had seen
Celeborn’s loneliness grow stronger over the centuries. Although Galadriel and
Celeborn were still bound, there was no longer any attraction or love between
them. They even lived separately. “Maybe we could go for a walk?” They had done
so before, but usually accompanied by Rumil.
Celeborn hesitated to accept, but in the end he gave in, craving
the other’s company. “Aye, we will go for a nightly walk then.” Pushing his
attraction aside, he hoped he wouldn’t give himself away now that he would be
alone with Orophin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rumil was whistling softly when he closed the door behind him,
finding Glorfindel and Haldir caught up in a game of chess. The two Elves sat
wrapped up beneath a blanket, studying the board intensely.
Orophin and he had known that Haldir had proposed to Glorfindel
and that the legendary Balrog Slayer had accepted because their elder brother
had told him in one of his letters. They had regretted being unable to
congratulate him in person and now that he saw them sitting that comfortably,
he could easily tell they were happy.
“How do Elrond and Erestor fare?” asked Haldir, without looking up
from the game. Ithil’s rays were weak tonight, but
offered just enough light to play without straining their eyes.
“They were sound asleep in each other’s arms!” Rumil removed his
boots, leggings and shirt and slipped into the bed.
“Uhm? Haldir? What is Rumil doing in our bed?” Glorfindel arched
an eyebrow.
Haldir laughed softly. “’Tis a habit of
ours,” explained Haldir, “to sleep in the same bed whenever we can.”
Glorfindel pouted. “I gather that means I have to behave tonight
and won’t get to ravage you?”
“Ah, by the Valar, behave!” Rumil pulled the blanket over his
head, enjoying teasing them immensely. “The bed is big enough for the four of
us, if the two of you do not move about too much!”
“The four of us?” Glorfindel stared
pleadingly at his husband.
“Orophin might join us later,” explained Haldir. “But judging by
the way this game of chess is going they can have the bed to themselves.” It
would take them a few more hours to decide this game.
Glorfindel sighed, wishing he was back in Imladris where he didn’t
have to share his bed with Haldir’s brothers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you comfortable?” whispered Elrond, still half asleep, but
Erestor had been moving about in his arms, and he had to make sure his lover
was well.
“I want to hold my daughter in my arms,” admitted Erestor in a
hoarse tone. “I think I dreamt of her.”
“You will hold her soon enough.” Elrond placed a kiss on his
lover’s raven hair. “Maybe – provided you have recovered sufficiently – we can
start our journey home tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.”
“I would like that.” Erestor lifted his eyes and met Elrond’s
gaze. “I already feel better.”
Elrond knew Erestor’s recovery had everything to do with the fact
that he was sharing his life energy with his lover. “You do realize that
everything will change once we are back in Imladris? No more hiding in the
library or my study. I want you to take your rightful place at my side.”
“I will do my best,” promised Erestor, “but I do not know how to
do that.”
That promise was more than enough for Elrond, who suspected
Erestor would steal a few more hearts once the Elf came out of his shell. “You
have so much to give, and now you can do it because you choose to do it, not
because someone is forcing you into doing it. And you will receive so much in
return. You already have my love and undying dedication.”
Erestor blushed fiercely, resting his head back onto Elrond’s
chest. “I have never been this happy before.”
“And the best thing is that it will be like this for the rest of
your life.” Elrond would see to that personally.
TBC
Beta read by
Sulien.
All
remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in Chains
Part 36
“I advise against confronting Galadriel head on,” said Celeborn,
who had seated himself and was watching Elrond pace. Erestor was in the
adjoining room, enjoying a refreshing bath. He had chosen this moment to
address the matter, because Erestor couldn’t hear them right now.
Elrond shook his head. “I really want to tell her what I think of
her actions.” The anger he felt demanded to be acknowledged and needed a way
out. “What she did was wrong!”
Celeborn sighed. “I have tried to reason with her, but she is
stubborn. At times, I wonder what happened to make her this… cold. She was not
like that when we got married.” Those had been much happier times.
Elrond drew in a deep breath. “Celeborn, I plan on leaving
Lothlorien this very evening. Erestor is strong enough to travel short
distances and we will rest regularly. But… I want to
visit my sons’ tomb first.”
Celeborn nodded in understanding. “Elladan and Elrohir actually
made a bold, but logical suggestion.” Seeing Elrond’s arched eyebrow, he
explained, “Shortly, they will ask your permission to move the tomb to
Imladris. That way Erestor can still go to the tomb to mourn and the children’s
remains would not stay here in Lothlorien where Erestor has suffered so much.”
Before Elrond had the chance to express his opinion in this
matter, Erestor answered for him. “I think it is a good idea.”
Erestor, clothed in a warm shirt, green leggings and leather boots
joined them. His hair was damp and he still looked fragile, but it was obvious
he was growing stronger again. He certainly felt strong enough to take part in
this conversation. “I would love to take them to Imladris, but… is that not too
much work?” His big eyes settled on Elrond, hoping the half-Elf would do this
for him.
“We will manage,” said Elrond reassuringly. “And now come here.”
Once Erestor came to a stand still beside him, he wrapped an arm protectively
around his lover’s waist. “Do you want to visit the tomb now or later?”
“Now.” Erestor
knew Elrond wanted to leave after that visit and he was eager to return to
Imladris, where his daughter was waiting for him.
Elrond wrapped a warm cloak around Erestor’s form. He was a bit
hesitant to venture out with Erestor, pondering if they needed some sort of
escort in case they ran in to Galadriel by accident.
“I will accompany you,” said Celeborn, sensing Elrond’s
discomfort. “Haldir and Glorfindel are waiting at the foot of the talan to
escort us.” Dotingly, he looked at Erestor. “Do you even know how many friends
you have?”
“I am beginning to understand and accept that,” whispered Erestor,
pleased when Elrond regained a tight hold on him and walked him to the stairs.
Elrond was putting up a brave front, knowing he had to be strong
for Erestor’s sake, but on the inside he was shaky and even slightly afraid,
uncertain what emotions would surface once he stood in front of his sons’ tomb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond’s eyes filled with tears, standing in front of the white
marble tomb. It was much smaller than he had thought it would be, but his
emotions still raged, realizing these would have been his firstborn sons, had
they survived. Suddenly, Erestor’s arm wrapped around his
waist in turn, pulling him close. “You had over three millennia to mourn
the loss, but I…” It was sudden, even though he had expected to feel like this.
“I understand, my love.” Erestor had never called Elrond his
beloved before, but now he had to offer all the comfort he possibly could. “If
I had been the one to decide, I would have told you.”
“But Galadriel decided you were not to know,” said Celeborn in a
sad tone.
Haldir and Glorfindel were now joined by Rumil and Orophin and the
four of them remained at a respectful distance, allowing the parents to mourn.
“I still do not understand why she is so vicious,” mumbled Erestor
thoughtfully. “I never wronged her.”
“Aiya, but you did.”
Galadriel’s sharp voice sent shivers of ice down Erestor’s spine and
he instinctively leaned in closer to Elrond, who instantly tightened his hold.
No, he wasn’t ready to face her, not here, not now!
Galadriel emerged from behind a mallorn
tree and seemed to float toward them in her terrible majesty. Her narrowed eyes
revealed her alertness and the lips resembled a strained, thin line. Although
her posture radiated control and superiority, the expression in her eyes gave
away her emotions.
Glorfindel and the three brothers hurried closer, ready to defend
Erestor – and Elrond – if necessary, but they stopped in their tracks when
Celeborn raised a hand. Apparently Celeborn wanted to deal with his wife
himself.
“Galadriel,” started Celeborn, his voice tense and strained, “I
did not expect you to return so quickly.”
“Do you really think that I did not know Erestor had returned to
the Golden Wood?” Her melodic voice sounded oddly hollow. “The mirror showed
me.”
“You do not have the right to be here,” sneered
Elrond, enraged. “We came here to mourn our sons’ deaths and you are disturbing
that sacred moment.”
“Your sons?” Galadriel
cocked her head. “Elrond, the only sons you have are the ones my daughter gave
you.”
Elladan and Elrohir, who had been searching for Elrond and Erestor
after finding the talan empty, had now sighted them and joined them, listening
to their grandmother with mounting disbelief.
Galadriel saw their arrival, but focused her attention on Elrond.
“These would have been my firstborn sons, had they lived! But you
decided to keep this from me! Why?” Elrond wanted answers and he wanted them
now!
“Celebrian is your only true mate, not Erestor.” Galadriel did not
approach the half-Elf, seeing the fury in Elrond’s eyes. “It has vexed me for
millennia that I had to bind him to you, but you had to survive, as you were
destined to wed my daughter.”
“You used Erestor!” Elrond shook his head in sheer disbelief.
“Yes, I used him as a means to achieve my goal,” admitted
Galadriel in an emotionless tone. “I wished I had been able to cut him out of
your life completely, Elrond, but you needed his life energy. Yet that
half-bond always kept you from fully loving my daughter.”
“Is this about Celebrian?” Elrond’s mouth was slightly agape with
confusion.
Celeborn unexpectedly spoke up. “Aye, it is about Celebrian, and
at the same time about so much more.”
Galadriel gave her husband a sneering look. “Speak your mind,
Celeborn.”
“You needed Elrond strong because he has an important role to play
on Middle-Earth and only such an important figure was good enough to marry our
daughter. You always wanted what was best for Celebrian, but you never asked
her if she wanted to marry Elrond. You made her.”
“She followed when I revealed her destiny to her, just like you
did, Celeborn.” Galadriel’s eyes took on an icy expression as she looked upon
her husband. “That Erestor became pregnant was unexpected and unwelcome. If he
had not lost his children in this way, I would have made sure they would not
live. They would have strengthened his bond with Elrond, and eventually, Elrond
would have learned of their existence, making it impossible for Celebrian to
marry him.”
Erestor had frozen against Elrond, learning she would have taken
his sons’ lives if they had lived, and he whimpered softly.
“I could not change the fact that Elrond had fathered Erestor’s
children, but I would make sure they presented no threat to Celebrian’s future
and her marriage to Elrond.” Galadriel sensed their anger but felt righteous, as
she had done what had been necessary to ensure her daughter’s happiness. But
she had been too late to warn her when the Orcs attacked. In the end, her
efforts had been in vain and losing Celebrian to Valinor had been a terrible
price for her to pay; the worst possible.
Elrond was seething with rage. “If Celeborn had not sent Erestor
to Imladris when he realized he was pregnant with our daughter, she might not
have lived either!”
Galadriel lost interest in this argument with Elrond and focused
on her husband instead. “Celeborn, you betrayed me. You went against my wishes
and behind my back by sending Erestor to Imladris.”
Celeborn drew in a deep breath. In his heart he had always known
this moment would come and it was best to get it over with. “Erestor is no kinslayer.”
“I know that, the mirror showed me a long time ago.” Galadriel
ignored Erestor’s strangled whimper and searched Celeborn’s eyes.
“You had no right to ruin Erestor’s life.” Celeborn took a step
closer to his wife, whose powers frightened him at times. And at the same time
he was the only one who could take a large part of those powers away from her –
cripple her, and teach her a lesson for once and for all. But did he have the
courage to follow through? He might not survive what he was about to do. “I
cannot allow you to abuse your powers in such a way.”
All present were alarmed when Galadriel laughed sharply. “You
cannot allow? Celeborn, you have forgotten your place, which is at my side,
supporting me!”
Even Elrond flinched, hearing those words and he cast a quick look
at Celeborn, who had grown pale. It was true though. Celeborn was often
referred to as ‘Galadriel’s husband’ and was seldom seen as an individual. And
now he wondered why that was.
“I cannot allow you to continue to hurt Erestor like this. He has
suffered enough,” said Celeborn in a firm tone.
Galadriel’s eyes flared dangerously. “But he is still alive whilst
my dear Celebrian had to sail for the Undying Lands. He even has a daughter
now, another bastard.”
“Elrond, no!” Glorfindel
had watched Elrond closely and reacted just in time to hold the half-Elf back
when Elrond lunged for Galadriel.
“I forbid you to call my daughter that!” Elrond’s hands had turned
into fists. He tried to struggle free of Glorfindel’s hold, glaring at his
friend, but when he felt Erestor’s hesitant touch against the small of his
back, he forced himself to calm down. Erestor needed him to be in control. “Let
go of me, Glorfindel!”
Glorfindel studied Elrond’s eyes and then obeyed, but made sure he
remained in place between Galadriel and his friend. “I do not want a fourth kinslaying to take place here today.”
“Not at my children’s tomb,” said Erestor softly, pulling Elrond
toward him. “There will be no fighting here.”
Elrond nodded once, but never let Galadriel out of his sight. “You
are right, my love.” But Celeborn and Galadriel still stood facing each other
and judging by the looks on their faces, some silent communication was taking
place, which they weren’t privy to.
“You would not dare sever our link,” said Galadriel, breathlessly.
For the first time, a hint of panic showed in her eyes. “You would not survi—“
“You are not leaving me a choice,” said Celeborn shakily.
Releasing a tormented wail, his hands clawed at the fabric of his shirt and
intense pain momentarily showed on his face, as he severed the ancient bond
between them.
Galadriel screamed furiously and reached for support when she
began to sway. Her strength quickly ebbed away, leaving her weak and shaky. She
rested her back against the ancient mallorn tree for
support and stood panting, staring at her husband in obvious horror. “You did
not…!” She crumbled before their eyes, her form losing its normal radiance. Her
usually sparkling eyes dulled and even the silver hair lost its luster.
“I… did!” Panting softly, Celeborn also swayed and began to
collapse. Rumil and Orophin, who stood closest to Celeborn, moved at once, but
it was Orophin who reached the elder Elf first and supported him when Celeborn
tried to push himself back onto his feet.
Orophin was startled, feeling a pulsing energy radiate from
Celeborn, but he maintained his hold on the elder Elf. Celeborn was leaning on
him heavily and he wrapped a supportive arm around the other Elf’s waist.
“Fool! You think you punished me by severing our link, but it is
*you*, who just condemned yourself to certain death,” panted Galadriel, who
suddenly didn’t look that ethereal and superior any more. Fear, terror and
defeat shone from her empty eyes. She slowly backed away from them, stumbling
toward the ancient mallorn trees. She faded into the
darkness now that her inner light had dimmed and it wasn’t long before she had
vanished from their sight.
Celeborn placed one hand on Orophin’s shoulder to steady himself.
He knew he would pay the price for reclaiming his freedom, but it had been the
only way to deal with Galadriel.
“What happened just now?” Elrond briefly deserted Erestor to hurry
over to Celeborn’s side.
“I severed the bond that existed between us. I am no longer bound
to her.” Only Celeborn knew the true meaning behind those words. He also knew
that he couldn’t keep his secrets forever and that he had to tell them shortly.
“I am no longer the Lord of the Golden Wood.”
Elrond’s eyes widened dramatically, realizing what Celeborn had
done. “Why?”
“It was about time that I made my own decisions again. I let her
torment Erestor for too long.” Celeborn, whose strength was now returning, gave
Erestor an apologetic look. “I should have accepted the position of your
champion much earlier and I am sorry I did not.”
Erestor slowly advanced on Celeborn and curled his fingers around
the silver-haired Elf’s hand. “You are forgiven, my friend. You made sure
Galadriel could not hurt my daughter when you sent me to Imladris. I owe you so
much.” Carefully, he gave Celeborn a hug. “Will you come to Imladris with us?”
Celeborn had said he was no longer the Lord of the Golden Wood, and that being
the case, he wouldn’t want to stay here.
“Ata’da, come with us to Imladris.”
Elladan and Elrohir had been silent until now, but their hearts ached for their
grandfather, who had lost his wife and his home. They knew how much these lands
meant to Celeborn.
“If you will have me, I will come with you,” said Celeborn,
feeling calm and at peace for the first time in several millennia. Searching
out Elrond’s eyes, he made sure the half-Elf didn’t have any objections.
“You are welcome,” said Elrond reassuringly. Seeing Orophin and
Rumil’s slightly disappointed expressions, he was reminded of his own
intentions. “And would the two of you join us as well? Erestor seems smitten
with you and I gather you would prefer being close to Haldir.”
Rumil released a pleased laugh and nodded happily. “Aye, we
accept!”
Orophin nodded. /That way I can stay close to Celeborn. I do not
want him to be alone right now. He will need our support, our company./ And he planned on being there for Celeborn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The party that left Lothlorien that night consisted of nine Elves;
Elrond, Erestor, the twins, Haldir, Glorfindel, Celeborn, Orophin and Rumil
left the Golden Wood. Celeborn looked over his shoulder, realizing he would
never return here, for Galadriel would never allow it.
With them, they took a precious charge. As they were eager to
leave, they had decided against taking the entire tomb with them. Reverently,
Celeborn had removed the sealing stone and had then placed the remains of the
twins in a beautifully crafted wooden box, lined with the softest silk. The
priceless load had been entrusted to Glorfindel and Haldir and they had vowed
to keep the twins’ remains safe and untouched. Erestor had cried bitter tears,
seeing the tiny bones, still wrapped up in soft cloths.
“How do you fare?” Elrond had decided against riding his own horse
and instead shared Tirith with his lover. He needed to be close to Erestor
right now.
“My head is still reeling,” admitted Erestor emotionally. “I
should have known it was something very personal that was making Galadriel act
in such a way. Everything she did was to ensure Celebrian’s happiness.”
“She was doomed to fail,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “Even though I
did not know of your bond with me, the memories continued to invade my dreams.
I missed you. She should have let us bind ourselves properly instead of
condemning you to such pain.”
“Please, let us not speak of this any longer,” begged Erestor, “I
want to forget and start a new life with you… and our daughter.”
“Aye, Indlîrien will warm your heart,” said Elrond pleased. “You
will hold her in your arms shortly.” He pressed a kiss onto his lover’s dark
mane. It would take several weeks to return to Imladris with Erestor still in
such a weakened state, but he didn’t mind, because they were finally together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orophin kept a close eye
on Celeborn. Something seemed off with the elder Elf and Orophin reminded
himself that Celeborn had every reason to feel miserable. He had just left his
wife and he was alone again after millennia of being with Galadriel. Celeborn
needed time to adjust to that – to his new life. He steered his horse closer to
Celeborn’s and softly cleared his throat. “My Lord?
Are you well?”
“Do not call me that,
Orophin,” said Celeborn in a fatigued tone. “I am no longer Lord of the Golden
Wood.” And that hurt the most. The rift between Galadriel and he had gradually
deepened over millennia, but he now sharply felt the void the separation had
left behind. Leaving behind the Golden Wood itself was the hardest.
“Then what am I to call
you? I cannot address you with… Celeborn.”
“You will have to get used
to calling me that, Orophin.” Celeborn drew in a deep, steadying breath. He
could already feel the difference now that he was no longer bound to Galadriel.
Middle-Earth’s energy reached for him and seeped into his very pores. He had
forgotten how it felt to be free and energetic, and he could only hope he could
control it this time. Realizing that Orophin was still riding beside him, he
glanced at the younger Elf. Orophin had always been very handsome to him and
the Elf’s character matched his outer beauty. Orophin was strong, cunning,
compassionate, and at times he could fall into deep pondering, something he hid
from his teasing brothers. There was depth to the other Elf’s character and he
wanted to get to know him better. Celeborn was surprised when Elrond gave the
signal to stop for the day. Wasn’t this a bit early? They had only been on the
road for four hours. But one look at Erestor’s face told him that the exhausted
raven-haired Elf couldn’t ride any further. As they made camp, Celeborn noticed
that Orophin had put his bedroll close to his. Apparently the younger Elf
enjoyed his company and wanted to stay close, which pleased him immensely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Orophin? Your eyes will drop out of their sockets if you
keep staring at our Lord in that way.” It didn’t matter to Rumil that Celeborn
didn’t think of himself as the Lord of the Golden Wood any longer. To him,
Celeborn would always be his Lord.
Orophin turned a nice
shade of red, hearing his brother’s voice. Was his attraction that obvious? “I
cannot control it.”
Rumil sighed in
understanding, and after guiding his brother away from the camp, he placed his
hands on either side of Orophin’s head. “I know that you like him. I also know
that you never told him or expressed your feelings for him and now that he is
available again…” Rumil let his voice trail off. “Remember that the bond
between Galadriel and he was only severed hours ago. You cannot court him. It
would not do.”
“I know that!” hissed
Orophin, irritated. “I am trying my best not to give myself away! But it is
hard! I can tell he is hurting and I want to comfort him.”
“Orophin, give it time.
Maybe he will be ready to look at you in that way in a few decades. But he
needs to mourn losing Galadriel first.” Rumil lowered his hands and wrapped his
arms around his brother’s waist, holding him close. “I want you to be happy,
but you have chosen a difficult path for yourself.”
Orophin sighed,
distressed. “I will try harder.”
“Maybe you should distance
yourself from him,” suggested Rumil. “Ride close to Erestor tomorrow.”
Feeling depressed, Orophin
nodded once. He knew his brother meant well and that he should heed Rumil’s
advice, as he didn’t want Celeborn to find out about his inappropriate
feelings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you comfortable?”
Elrond enjoyed fussing over his lover and tucked the blanket around Erestor’s
form for the third time.
“I am comfortable and
warm,” whispered Erestor happily. “I just find it hard to believe Celeborn left
Galadriel and the Golden Wood.”
Elrond nodded. “I did not
expect that either. I always thought they had a happy marriage.”
“Something struck me as
odd though,” remarked Erestor, resting his head on Elrond’s chest, cuddling
closer. “He said, ‘I am no longer bound to her.’
Elrond frowned, wondering
what Erestor found odd about that.
“I expected him to say, we
are no longer bound to each other.” The more he thought about it, the more
alarmed Erestor felt. “For some reason I worry about him.”
Elrond considered
Erestor’s observation. “I worry about him as well. Galadriel and he were
married for many millennia.”
“But were they bound to
each other?” Erestor briefly raised his head to look at Elrond. “Maybe I am
reading too much into his words, but… did Galadriel also bind herself to him?”
Elrond’s
eyes narrowed, finally understanding what Erestor was trying to tell him. “Are you saying that Celeborn was bound to
Galadriel in the same way as you were to me before I completed the bond?”
“Aye.” Erestor slowly nodded his head. “Though I do not
know why he would agree to such a marriage.”
“You did it to keep me
alive.” Elrond felt truly confused now. “Do you think we should ask him?”
“Not yet,” decided
Erestor, “We should give him a chance to sort out his thoughts and emotions
first. I do think he planned to leave Galadriel at some point, but severing the
bond must have been an overwhelming experience. Let us wait and see if he comes
to one of us of his own accord.”
“You offer wise council,”
said Elrond in a proud tone, “Maybe I should make you one of my advisors when
we get back to Imladris.”
“An advisor?” Erestor smiled in disbelief. “You must be joking.”
“Nay, I am not,” said
Elrond firmly. “But we can decide that later. First, you should meet and hold
our daughter.”
Erestor rested his head on
Elrond’s chest again and sighed blissfully. Once he was asleep, he dreamt of
holding Indlîrien tightly against his chest.
TBC
Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.
BTW, Indlîrien means song of my heart.
Heart in
Chains
Part 37
During the next three
weeks Erestor regained most of his strength. The Elves proceeded cautiously,
and as they were still on the road, either Rumil or Orophin scouted ahead in
search of enemies. Haldir and Glorfindel guarded their precious charge closely,
knowing Erestor would be heartbroken if anything happened to his sons’ remains.
Erestor, much to Elrond’s
approval, was quickly regaining his strength and the half-Elf suspected that it
was mostly due to the fact that they were in constant close contact. During the
day, they would both ride Tirith and when it was time to rest, Elrond pulled
Erestor into his arms.
Elladan and Elrohir had
ample time to think everything over. They had seen a side of Galadriel they had
never known existed and they were beginning to realize the true extent of
Erestor’s suffering. They had agreed to support Erestor as much as possible and
even wanted to befriend him. Although Erestor was trying to trust them -- after
their declaration of support when they had visited him and Elrond in the talan
-- it was obvious Erestor still felt somewhat suspicious of their motives. They
couldn’t really blame him for that, but since learning Erestor would like to
look upon them as his own sons, they were trying harder.
Celeborn had grown
introverted these last few weeks, and there were other changes taking place in
him as well, which Orophin, of all of the Elves, seemed to notice most.
Celeborn’s hair, which had always been a dull silver-white at best, now glowed with
a brilliant intensity. The mane had thickened and was definitely turning a
shade of polished mithril and had grown longer,
reaching the elder Elf’s waist now. The often sullen look in the light blue
eyes had disappeared. In its place had come a sharp, probing expression. Even
his form had grown muscular and more agile. His moods often went from depressed
to ecstatic. These changes puzzled him and Orophin found himself staring at
Celeborn more often, mostly in admiration and secret desire. He had heeded
Rumil’s words and was trying to keep his distance from the elder Elf, although
doing so was becoming increasingly difficult.
Elrond had also noticed
the transformation Celeborn was undergoing. It even seemed to support Erestor’s
theory that his former father in law had been bound to Galadriel in the same
way Erestor had been bound to him in the beginning. Yet he didn’t feel
comfortable bringing this up and trusted Erestor’s advise to wait for Celeborn
to reveal matters to them in his own time. /Speaking of Erestor…/ His lover sat
in front of him and Elrond had wrapped his arms around him, content to let
Erestor hold the reins, which for some reason he couldn’t explain pleased his
mate. “Love, do you realize we will reach Imladris tomorrow?” Elrond knew how
desperate Erestor was to hold their daughter in his arms. /At least I have seen
Indlîrien, but he has not./
“Tomorrow?” Overjoyed, Erestor looked over his shoulder at the
half-Elf. “I will hold her in my arms tomorrow?”
“Yes.” Elrond pressed his
lips against Erestor’s throat, kissing him sweetly. “And then we can start our
new life as a family.”
Erestor blushed weakly.
These last few weeks on the road had been nothing like he had thought they
would be. Everyone, even the twins, had treated him with the utmost respect and
care, and seemed eager to see him in Elrond’s arms. Elrond… the half-Elf seemed
to have fully accepted they were bonded now and was eager to prove that
acceptance whenever he got the chance, especially at night when the Peredhel
snuggled up to him.
Erestor had to admit to
feeling slightly nervous about Elrond’s eagerness to have him close. The few
sexual experiences he’d had didn’t make him eager to instigate any lovemaking
out of fear for pain, tearing and becoming pregnant again. He knew he couldn’t
possibly deny his new mate, but he hoped Elrond wouldn’t claim him any time
soon. He simply wasn’t ready yet to go through another pregnancy, not now when
his body was finally returning to normalcy and his wound fully healed. He would
always carry the two scars revealing he had given birth twice, but Elrond
didn’t seem to mind the disfigurement, as the half-Elf’s fingers always touched
gently when examining the wounds.
“It is time to rest for
the night,” decided Elrond, raising a hand to signal for the rest to come to a
halt as well. “Who will take first watch?” He dismounted first, keeping a hand
against the small of Erestor’s back, eager to stay in contact with his lover.
“We will,” announced
Elladan and Elrohir. They were used to long weeks on the road and didn’t tire
that easily. They dismounted and set out to explore their surroundings, making
sure the party would be safe during the night. It was different this time on
the road though. Instead of the burning hatred they had experienced when
hunting and killing Orcs, a peaceful feeling descended onto them, making their
hearts less restless.
Rumil and Orophin placed
their bedrolls close to the fire Haldir was building, whilst Glorfindel was
settling down next to his husband. It had become clear to the two brothers that
Haldir and Glorfindel were truly happy and they had refrained from trying to
talk their elder brother into joining them at night. Haldir now truly belonged
at Glorfindel’s side.
Orophin’s gaze drifted off
to Celeborn’s form, which was disappearing between the trees and from their
view. The elder Elf had developed the habit of leaving them each evening for a
short while and none had followed him yet to find out where he went and why he
left them in the first place. Orophin had tried to follow once, but Rumil had
stopped him by grabbing his wrist and shaking his head.
Elrond had noticed
Celeborn’s disappearances as well, but as long as the Sindarin Elf returned to
them each night, he wasn’t going to stick his nose where it didn’t belong,
keeping Erestor’s advice in mind. He had also unrolled his bedroll, lay down
and raised one hand to encourage Erestor to move into his arms. “Come to me, my
love.” He was a bit worried that Erestor often waited for him to speak his mind
first, showing hardly any initiative at all, but then again, could he blame the
other for exhibiting that sort of behavior?
Erestor lay down on his
side, face to face with Elrond and moved into the half-Elf’s arms. “I am happy,
you know,” he whispered, once he was comfortable. Looking into Elrond’s eyes,
he still felt amazed to see the love in them. Love the half-Elf bore *him* and
no one else. For some reason that was still hard to accept.
Elrond studied the open,
warm, chocolate brown eyes and then said, “You do realize that I want you to
touch me? To hold me? To run your
fingers through my hair? To feel your fingertips caress my skin?”
Erestor swallowed hard. “’Tis difficult for me.” By the
Valar, how was he going to make Elrond understand? “My entire life things have
simply happened to me. I never felt as if I had any control and it made me…
passive.”
Elrond nodded in
understanding. “But your life has changed.”
“I need more time to change
as well. This is so new to me.” He briefly closed his eyes. “The fact that you
love me still mystifies me, considering the things done to you in the past. I
was so convinced that you would be furious with me and instead you decided to
bind yourself to me.”
Elrond was tempted to
speak up but remained silent, realizing Erestor wasn’t finished speaking yet.
So he settled for stroking the long, dark hair, which he now braided each
morning. He wanted Erestor to realize his life had changed indeed and wearing
braids that revealed his new station was a part of it.
“When I found you close in
Lothlorien, I was convinced you had come to extract revenge for the deaths of
your children,” admitted Erestor in a strangled tone, finally opening his dark
eyes. “And instead you told me Indlîrien was still alive and that you had bound
yourself to me. I thought I had truly lost my mind at that point. I never had
any luck in my life, so why would that suddenly change?”
“It has changed,” said
Elrond, claiming his lover’s lips momentarily in an effort to reassure Erestor.
“You are part of my life now – well, you already were, but Galadriel and
Celeborn did not tell me.”
Erestor raised a shaky
hand and placed its palm against Elrond’s face. “I would not put too much blame
on Celeborn if I were you. I do think Galadriel manipulated him as well.”
“You like Celeborn,”
Elrond realized.
“I do. He saved our
daughter. Defying his wife and arranging for my flight took a lot of courage on
his part.” Erestor rubbed his thumb against the skin of Elrond’s face, his
first conscious attempt to take the initiative in some way, no matter how
small.
Elrond leaned into the
caress, showing Erestor how much he liked being touched in that way. “This is
our last night on the road, and I need to tell you something… and ask you a
question as well.”
“What is it?” Erestor’s
heart began to speed up with nervousness. He trusted Elrond, but his old
instincts were hard to suppress.
“Before I left, I
instructed Arwen to connect our quarters as I would like access to the nursery
as well. Do you mind?” He held his breath, uncertain how Erestor would react.
In retrospect, he should have waited to give that order, in case Erestor would
like to keep his privacy intact.
Erestor’s eyes widened
briefly. “We will be… living together?”
“Aye, and I hope we will
also be sleeping in the same bed,” whispered Elrond, needing to get everything
out. “I want to hold you at night.” Erestor tensed in his arms, giving him his
answer and he quickly explained, “I merely want to hold you in my arms when we
sleep, nothing else. Until you are ready, nothing more intimate will take place
in our bed.”
Erestor moistened his lips
nervously. “We are bound now and I know you will want to bed me, but…”
Elrond cringed at the way
that sounded. “Erestor, I want to make love to you in the future, but not until
you want it as well.”
Erestor lifted pleading
eyes. “I am not ready to become pregnant again.”
Elrond nodded his head once.
“I would never demand that of you. There are herbs we can use to prevent you
from conceiving. We could also reverse roles,” he said, deliberately mystifying
Erestor.
“What do you mean?”
Puzzled, Erestor frowned.
“You could claim me
instead.” Elrond couldn’t help holding his breath, awaiting Erestor’s answer.
“What?” Erestor blushed
and averted his eyes.
“You do not think I would
enjoy that?”
“I thought you would never
allow that,” clarified Erestor, swallowing convulsively. “I have never… my only
experiences has been with you.” At least the times he’d had intercourse. Haldir
and he had never taken that final step.
Elrond’s heart twitched in
sympathy. “I have so much to make up to you, to show you. And we have all the
time we need. We will take things slowly.”
Erestor, feeling bold now
that Elrond was this reassuring, whispered, “Not too slowly, I hope.”
An amused laugh rolled
from Elrond’s lips. “You may set the pace.”
Erestor studied Elrond’s
eyes for a long moment and then took a very decisive step – for him at least.
He leaned in closer, pressed his lips against the half-Elf’s
and kissed him passionately.
Elrond’s heart fluttered
at the unexpected contact and he parted his lips and teeth, inviting Erestor to
take the next step as well, which his lover did. Erestor’s tongue slowly
explored him, tasting him and making him sigh in appreciation. Building a
strong, intimate relationship might take them some time, but he felt confident
they would succeed in doing so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tremors ran through
Celeborn’s body as he knelt on the grass, burying his hands in the earth. He
had completely forgotten what his life had been like before he had been given
to Galadriel in marriage. The land’s energy coursed through him and he felt it
in his every pore. The energy inside him grew during the day when Arien’s rays
caressed his form and at night he sought out the woods, giving back what he had
received during the day. Silver sparks danced around his form as he willed the
energy into the earth, strengthening Middle-Earth; its flora and fauna.
He had been named Silver
Tree when he had been born and his parents had given him that name for a good
reason. As a Prince of Doriath, he had inherited a strong connection to nature,
even stronger than any of his family members had ever possessed. When he had
been a child, he had first noticed that he was different from his kin, being
able to draw energy from Arien, Ithil, the starlit sky and Arda itself. His
parents had called it a gift from the Valar, but once he had reached majority,
he had felt it was more of a curse. It set him apart from the rest, who seemed
wary of approaching him. His life had been a lonely one, until Galadriel had
entered it.
Shaking his head, he
forced her memory from his mind. Until he had actually done it, he hadn’t known
he possessed the power to severe the bond, which Galadriel had controlled since
the day they had gotten married. Returning his surplus energy to Arda, his eyes
briefly shone silver.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orophin had waited for
Rumil to fall asleep and had then left their camp to follow Celeborn’s tracks,
which led deep into the forest. Seeing Celeborn disappear each evening worried
him, and he needed to make sure nothing was wrong with the elder Elf. He
sneaked after Celeborn and found a hiding place behind a large oak tree. He had
a perfect view of Celeborn, who was kneeling, his hands clawing at the earth.
His breath caught upon seeing the elder Elf’s form glow soft silver,
illuminating his surroundings like Ithil himself. Although he had known
Celeborn his entire life, he had never seen such power bound into his very
form. The energy was literally vibrating around him and the sight reminded him
of…
/Galadriel glows like that
as well./ But now he found himself wondering if that
glow had emanated from her or from Celeborn. /Celeborn severed the bond between
them and I overheard Erestor’s counsel to Elrond. It would seem he was right to
assume Celeborn was strengthening Galadriel and now that they are no longer
bound to one another, the energy remains inside him instead./
It made him wonder who had held the true power in Lothlorien.
“Orophin?”
Hearing Celeborn speak his
name so softly and unexpectedly nearly caused him to bolt back to the camp. He
was sure he hadn’t made any noise, so how could Celeborn know that he was here,
watching the elder Elf?
“Orophin?” Now that the silver had left his eyes, Celeborn
scanned his surroundings, his Elven sight quickly locating the sentry. Orophin
looked startled, intimidated, and ready to run. He couldn’t allow that. His
heart ached, realizing he had frightened the younger Elf. Pushing himself to
his feet, he raised a hand, inviting Orophin over to join him. From the moment
he had severed his bond to Galadriel, he had known he would have to tell his
companions at one point and it was only fitting that Orophin should learn the
truth first, as the sentry held his heart prisoner.
Orophin’s heart was
beating hard, pounding in his chest, as he accepted the invitation to join
Celeborn. “I did not want to spy on you,” he whispered in a tiny voice once he
stood in front of the other. He even lowered his eyes, unable to look at
Celeborn’s glowing form without feeling guilty for following him here. “I was
worried.”
Celeborn carefully
gathered Orophin’s right hand in his and rubbed the knuckles. “You have many
questions.”
“I do,” admitted Orophin
in a strangled voice, finally raising his eyes and meeting Celeborn’s gaze. “I
do not understand what is happening to you. You look so different. Your hair,
your eyes… you are glowing silver.”
Celeborn released a deep
sigh and began to walk, pulling Orophin along with him. The younger Elf quickly
fell into step beside him, but he still maintained a tight hold on Orophin’s
hand. He didn’t know how the younger Elf would react to learning the truth, but
he had to try to make him understand. “This is how I was before I married
Galadriel.”
Orophin arched an eyebrow.
“That does not clarify things much for me,” he whispered, miserably.
“I was born like this. I
always had a special connection to Arda, which strengthens me.” Celeborn
continued to rub the back of Orophin’s hand in an attempt to comfort both of
them. “But after I reached majority, it became too much to control. I was
quickly losing my control – and my mind.” His gaze locked with Orophin’s. “I
was born a Prince and my connection with the land was seen as a sign that the
Valar had blessed me. When they met Galadriel and sensed her control, her eagerness
to achieve greatness, the elders decided I was to bind myself to her, so my
energy would help her become a counter to Feanor. I did love her, in the
beginning, but it was never my choice to bind myself to her.”
Captivated, Orophin
listened.
“I distinctly remember the
elders painting my brow blue, as a sign of the ritual sacrifice I was making,
entering a half-sided bond. But the elders considered it wiser for Galadriel
not to bind herself to me, so no power would flow back to me. I was young and
naive and did not see their scheming. Before I knew it, I found myself in a
tight bond, with Galadriel draining me.”
Orophin had often wondered
about his Lady’s power and now realized Celeborn had been her source.
“I grew accustomed to
feeling weak and at some point I accepted that my life was destined to be like
that. It changed when Erestor entered it.”
Orophin halted in his
tracks. “Galadriel painted his brow blue as well.”
Celeborn nodded. “It is an
ancient ritual.”
“And when you severed the link
with Galadriel…”
“My powers returned to me.
Galadriel will find herself weakening fast. She is powerful on her own, being
the bearer of Nenya, but she will greatly miss the
power I supplied.” Celeborn stood next to Orophin, not surprised to see the wonder
in the other Elf’s hazel eyes, which resembled Haldir’s. “I know this is a lot
to take in, and…”
“And
what?” Orophin nearly lost
himself in the sea-blue eyes. When had Celeborn’s irises darkened that much?
Celeborn cocked his head.
“I am not sure how long I can control this. I was married to Galadriel so this
energy could flow into her and leave me balanced. I am now releasing it back
into the earth, but…” His voice trailed off, hoping Orophin understood.
“Are you afraid your
powers will become too strong to control?”
“I do not know what will
happen.”
Orophin licked his lips,
realizing Celeborn’s precarious position. “Can I help?” Seeing Celeborn this
uncertain made his heart ache. He wanted to bury the elder Elf in a reassuring
hug and shower the silver hair with light kisses, but kept himself back, still
heeding Rumil’s warning. Celeborn was not for him.
The words left Celeborn’s
lips before he realized it. “You could allow me to bind myself to you.”
Orophin released a
surprised yelp. “But…” How would Celeborn’s energy affect him? He would risk it
all for Celeborn because of the love he bore for the elder Elf, but would he
become like Galadriel? Craving power and controlling? Did he want that?
“Do not answer that.” Celeborn
had quickly placed a finger against Orophin’s lips to keep him from answering.
“I was out of line. I should never have said that. I truly do not know what
possessed me to do so.”
/Maybe you spoke of your
true desires for once./ But Orophin did not share that
thought with the elder Elf, realizing the emotional turmoil Celeborn was in.
Rumil had been right; Celeborn did need time to find out what he wanted – and
needed.
“You do realize you cannot
tell your brothers of what you learned tonight? I would ask of you to keep this
a secret for now.” Celeborn wasn’t ready to reveal this to the others and hoped
Orophin understood.
“I will not betray the
trust you placed in me,” said Orophin softly. “And I want you to know that you
will always have a listening ear with me.” His heart missed a beat when
Celeborn leaned in closer to place a chaste kiss on his brow. He wondered what
had prompted that move, but the elder Elf was already turning away and
returning to the camp.
Raising a hand, his
fingertips touched the skin Celeborn’s lips had just brushed in wonder. /Aiya,
I do love him./
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor was growing
excited now that they were riding onto the courtyard. A large group of Elves
had gathered there to welcome them back, including Lindir. But as he strained
his eyes to see, he couldn’t find Arwen or Indlîrien amongst them.
Elrond dismounted, asking
for some space, not wanting Erestor to feel crowded. Turning to Haldir, who was
carrying the wooden box which held the twins’ remains, he asked the sentry to
take the box to the Hall of Grief and to assign a guard to watch it. Next, he
addressed his sons, telling them to rest and to join them for dinner later.
Rumil, Orophin and
Celeborn dismounted and remained at Erestor’s side, keeping an eye on the
dark-haired Elf.
Erestor continued to scan
his surroundings and his breath caught, finally locating Arwen descending the
stairs. In her arms was a bundle, wrapped up tightly, a few dark hairs already
showing on the tiny head. “Elrond…” He grabbed hold of the half-Elf’s
shoulders, needing to steady himself, swaying now that he was about to meet his
daughter.
Elrond took charge and led
Erestor into the Last Homely House, toward Arwen. Rumil, Orophin and Celeborn
stopped the other Elves from following their Lord, reminding them to give
Elrond some privacy.
Erestor only had eyes for
his daughter and he shook fiercely when Arwen finally placed the tiny infant in
his arms. Tears of happiness dripped from his face and he pushed the blanket
that kept Indlîrien warm aside so he could see her face. “Oh…” Stormy, gray eyes stared back at him
questioningly and a tiny hand reached for him from beneath the fabric. “You are
beautiful!” His instincts urged him to check if his daughter had all ten toes
and fingers and he heard Elrond laugh warmly, seeing him do so. Unable to look
away from his daughter’s face, he cradled her against his chest, rocking her
and mumbling softly.
Elrond, seeing the rapture
and delight on Erestor’s face, exchanged a pleased glance with Arwen. “Thank
you for taking care of her for us.”
“She is a true delight,”
said Arwen warmly, placing a hand beneath Erestor’s, which was supporting the
baby’s head. “I was worried when you left, and I am glad you returned to us.”
Erestor briefly glanced at
Arwen, but then his gaze shifted back to his daughter, who had captivated his
heart. “I gather you already know that… that she is your half-sister?”
“Aye,
and I already love my sister deeply.” Arwen smiled, exchanged a look with her
father and then excused herself, realizing the parents needed some privacy.
Elrond folded an arm
around Erestor and guided him to their rooms. He wanted to get away from the
curious looks his people were giving him. Apparently, the news that Erestor had
given birth to their Lord’s child had spread quickly. Once they had reached
their quarters, Elrond gently pushed Erestor inside and quickly closed the door
behind them. Steering his lover toward the bed, they lay down with their
daughter nestled between them. Elrond re-established his hold on Erestor,
holding him whilst Indlîrien cooed softly.
“I did not know she was
this beautiful, this perfect,” said Erestor, sighing. “If only I had known she
had survived… I would never have left Imladris.” He regretted having missed
being close to his daughter during her first few weeks. He sucked in his
breath, feeling her tiny fingers curl around his thumb and when she pulled it
toward her, he quickly gave in. “Oh…” He sighed
happily, when Indlîrien tried to suckle on his thumb.
“We have been giving her
bottled milk,” explained Elrond, “as you cannot feed her.”
Erestor blushed. “I still
wonder how it is possible that I can carry a child to term.”
“I do not know why, or
how,” said Elrond, “But I thank the Valar for this gift.” After placing a
butterfly kiss onto his daughter’s brow, he claimed Erestor’s lips next. “You
have made me very happy, my love.”
Erestor’s eyes were
swimming with tears of happiness and he released them, unashamedly. A part of
him couldn’t believe he had finally found his rightful place at Elrond’s side,
as his mate. The bond had been completed, their daughter was in his arms and
his happiness was complete. Looking adoringly at Elrond, he returned the kiss,
feeling whole for the first time in his life
TBC
Beta ready by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in
Chains
Part 38
Elrond faced a dilemma,
looking at Erestor and Indlîrien, who were soundly asleep in his bed. He didn’t
want to leave them, but knew a load of work was waiting for him, and the longer
he postponed dealing with it, the more it would continue to pile up on his
desk. But he didn’t want to leave Erestor alone either. His lover might act
more confidently lately, but part of it was pretense, trying to keep everyone
around him pleased. Elrond would prefer for someone to sit with his lover.
When the knock on the door
came, he realized his problem had been solved. “Enter.” The door opened and his
sons entered. He would have preferred for Haldir or Glorfindel to stay with
Erestor, as his lover felt more comfortable around the two warriors, but
Erestor and the twins needed to build a relationship as well. Maybe this was a
good opportunity for them to make a start.
“We were wondering if
there is anything we can do to help,” asked Elladan softly, realizing Erestor
and the baby were asleep. Maybe they could assist their father in dealing with
his correspondence?
“Actually, there is
something the two of you can do for me.” Elrond slipped into his outer, formal
robes and walked over to the doorway, catching the twins’ puzzled expressions.
“Look after Erestor and your sister during my absence. There are certain
matters I have to take care of, but I do not want to leave them alone. Erestor
might be disorientated when he wakes up. He has been through a lot, and
although he seems to have recovered nicely, we cannot rule out that a setback
will follow.”
“Adar, ‘tis not that we do
not want to do this,” began Elrohir, shuffling his feet, “but wouldn’t Lindir
or Arwen be a better choice?”
Elrond smiled knowingly.
“Erestor and the two of you need to build a bond of trust. You cannot postpone
that.” Elrond, opening the door, looked over his shoulder and chuckled, “And
you took excellent care of Arwen when she was a baby. Indlîrien is in the best
hands with you.” Quietly, he closed the door behind him.
Elladan and Elrohir stared
at each other, realizing they were ‘stuck’ baby-sitting Erestor and Indlîrien.
It wasn’t that they minded, but they were apprehensive of Erestor’s reaction at
finding them here.
“He looks like he needs to
eat more,” said Elladan thoughtfully, looking at Erestor, who was only wearing
his nightshirt. “Why don’t you fetch something from the kitchens? And check if
it is time for Indlîrien to be fed.”
“And maybe Erestor would
like to take a bath? He still wears the dirt and grime of the road.” Elladan
and he had already cleaned up.
“I will prepare his bath
and you will see to the food. We will wake Erestor when you return.” Elladan
felt a bit more confident now that they had a plan. He only hoped Erestor would
cooperate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stirring, Erestor frowned
in his sleep. Why were they talking so loudly? And who were ‘they’? Waking up,
he became aware of the tiny, warm body pressed against his chest and his heart
thundered with joy, realizing he was holding his daughter in his arms. Looking
into her big eyes, he found that she was awake, giving him a curious look. “You
are alive…”
Someone clearing his
throat reminded Erestor that he wasn’t alone. He already knew it wasn’t Elrond,
as he would have sensed the half-Elf’s presence, and he tensed slightly at
finding the younger Peredhil staring back at him when he looked up. What were
they doing here? Aye, they had proclaimed they accepted him as part of this
family, but he still remained a tad unconvinced.
“We checked with Arwen and
she told us that Indlîrien needs to be fed.” Elrohir picked up the bottled milk
and slowly approached the bed. “I thought that you might want to do that.” Extending
his hand, he offered Erestor the bottle.
Erestor, forcing himself
to remain calm, accepted, and moved his daughter against him until she was in a
comfortable position to drink her milk. To his amazement – and pleasure – she
quickly emptied it. Recalling that a baby should be burped, he placed her
against his shoulder and rubbed her back. A huge smile blossomed on his face
when she complied.
“You should eat something
as well,” said Elladan, who just like Elrohir, had seen the raging emotions on
Erestor’s face. The fact that Indlîrien had survived and was now in his arms,
was quickly overwhelming Erestor.
Erestor had heard Elladan
speak, but had paid the words no heed, as he was totally focused on his
daughter, who was now reaching for him. The tiny fingers managed to curl around
a braid and pulled at his hair. Erestor was enjoying holding her and hardly
felt the tug, but when a shadow suddenly fell over them, he startled and looked
up at the twins, both of whom stood next to his bed. “Is something amiss?”
“No, everything is fine,”
said Elrohir reassuringly, “but Indlîrien needs to nap and you have to take a
bath and eat.”
Erestor gave himself an
experimental sniff. Elrohir was right; he did need to clean up. But that meant
leaving Indlîrien alone and he wasn’t inclined to do that.
Elladan read reluctance on
the elder Elf’s face and knew he had to say the right thing for Erestor to
comply. “Elrohir and I will take good care of Indlîrien whilst you are in the
bathroom. See? Her eyes are filling with sleep. Trust me, they sleep a lot when
they are this little, at least that is what my father told me. Arwen was quite
the opposite. We will put Indlîrien in her cradle and nothing will happen to
her.” He opened his arms, hoping Erestor trusted him to look after the baby.
Erestor knew the moment of
truth had come for him. Did he trust the twins and was he willing to take this
leap of faith? Reminding himself that they had tried hard to redeem themselves,
he nodded his consent and carefully placed his daughter in Elladan’s arms.
Watching the elder twin’s every move, his gaze followed Elladan to the cradle,
where the half-Elf gently laid the baby down.
“And now it is time for
your bath,” announced Elrohir, “We already prepared the pool for you.” Expectantly,
he looked at the elder Elf.
Erestor sighed, pushed
back the covers, and slowly rose from the bed. He still felt a bit weak and
dizzy at times. When they had been on the road he had pushed himself, wanting
to be near his daughter, and his body really hadn’t had all the time it needed
to recuperate. But even in this state, he felt stronger than he ever had now
that Elrond’s life energy was helping him heal.
Elrohir kept a watchful
eye on his charge when Erestor made his way into the bathroom. After Erestor
had closed the door behind him, Elrohir walked over to the closet to find a
suitable robe for Erestor to wear after his bath.
Elladan realized Elrohir
was facing a problem and returning to his brother’s side, exchanged a look with
him. “These robes were made for him to wear during his pregnancy. They are much
too big for him now.”
Elrohir smiled and headed
for his father’s closet, at the other side of the now joined rooms. “These will
do,” he said pleased. The rich fabric would keep Erestor warm and comfortable,
and the deep brown color would compliment the elder Elf’s eyes.
“We should check with him
regularly,” said Elladan thoughtfully, “We do not want him to fall asleep in
the pool.”
Elrohir nodded. “Father entrusted
Erestor to use for a reason and we had better not let him down.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor tightly wrapped a
large towel around his form, cursing the lack of decent clothing. He didn’t
want to slip back into his dirty shirt after his bath, but he had forgotten to
bring a clean set of clothes with him. As he couldn’t stay in the bathroom for
the rest of the day, he gingerly opened the door and stepped outside, hoping
the twins wouldn’t make fun of him in his current state. Two pairs of gray eyes
met his and he blushed, tightly clutching the towel. His wet mane fell in front
of his face, providing a curtain to hide behind.
“Here,” said Elladan,
picking up the clothes they had selected and handing them to him. “These should
keep you warm.” The towel left little to the imagination and he was shocked to
see just how skinny Erestor really was. He vowed to make sure Erestor ate
regular meals.
“Thank you.” Erestor
accepted the clothes and quickly disappeared into the bathroom again. He had
seen the expression in the elder twin’s eyes and knew Elladan hadn’t been
pleased to find how much weight he had lost after the birth. Dropping the towel
onto the floor, he studied his reflection in the mirror.
They were right of course,
Rumil, Elladan, Elrond… He was too skinny. And then there were the two scars,
disfiguring him. Thankfully Elrond didn’t seem repulsed by them, as the
half-Elf’s touch was always light and gentle when examining that area. How was
it possible that Elrond still found him desirable?
Picking up the comb, he
began to remove the snarls from his long hair. He should try to look his best,
but doubted it would make much of a difference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stepping into the bedroom,
Erestor felt a bit more confident now that he was wearing clothes. However, he
was still puzzled why the twins had given him Elrond’s robes to wear. His first
glance was aimed at the cradle and he found that his daughter was sound asleep.
Reassured that she was comfortable and resting, he made his way over to the
table, seeing the twins had gone to great lengths when it came to his lunch.
“Eat.” Elladan had already
piled up several food items on Erestor’s plate. “You need more flesh on your
ribs, my friend.”
It was that last word,
which made Erestor look up in surprise. Quickly averting his eyes, he began to
eat, feeling their eyes on him. They were certainly making sure he ate!
“Our father asked us to
look after you and Indlîrien whilst he works in his study,” explained Elladan,
“And we welcome the opportunity to spend time with you.”
Erestor nodded once. “I…”
His gaze shifted to the cradle. “I do not have much experience when it comes to
looking after a baby.”
“We can help,” offered
Elrohir, “We helped raise Arwen.”
“I… would like that,” said
Erestor shyly, realizing they meant well. All they needed was time to get to
know each other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orophin felt a bit lost. The
last time he had visited the Last Homely House, Rumil and he had only stayed
for the night, and he was lost when it came to finding his way about.
“Maybe I can help?”
Celeborn, leaning against the wall, watched Orophin spin around. “Feeling a bit
lost?”
Orophin gasped; the
transformation Celeborn was undergoing had surely improved his looks and the
former Lord of the Golden Wood had never before looked more attractive to him.
The somewhat sullen Lord Celeborn had disappeared and a very alert, handsome
Elf had emerged instead. The mere sight of him made Orophin’s groin stir.
Celeborn was no fool and
saw the effect he was having on Orophin; part of him felt thrilled at having
his suspicions confirmed. Orophin was attracted to him also. He could even see
the growing bulge in the other’s leggings. A sensual hunger assailed him,
surprising him, and he fought it down, unwilling to act rashly. “Where are you
headed?”
”I… I was looking… for you,” stuttered Orophin, wishing his arousal would fade,
but now that Celeborn was advancing on him, the elder Elf’s heavy musky scent
was making him sway and break out in a sweat. How was he going to act
controlled with this temptation standing in front of him? All he could think
about was begging Celeborn to take him and end his misery!
“You have found me.”
Celeborn circled Orophin, his senses picking up on the other’s needs. “Would
you go for a walk in the gardens with me until it is time to join the others
for dinner?”
Orophin found himself
nodding frantically.
Celeborn’s smile turned
into a smirk and he placed one hand at the small of Orophin’s back, needing the
contact to ground him.
“What is happening?”
Orophin swallowed hard; needing to know what was causing them to react like
this. “I feel like I am rapidly losing control… your scent is in my lungs and…”
Celeborn suddenly pulled him close and Orophin released a soft whimper, being
crushed to a chest that was definitely more muscular than he remembered.
Celeborn looked deeply
into Orophin’s hazel eyes, pupils dilated and the irises darker than he
recalled. “I can still stop this… this attraction, if you want it. But I cannot
lie to you or pretend I do not feel what I feel. I desire you greatly and I
sense the same need in you. So I am offering you this choice. What do you want?
Do you want me to distance myself from you and go back to pretending I do not
want you? Or do you want me to take this step and make you mine?”
Orophin panted hard,
hearing Celeborn address this matter so directly. “Do you really want me?” If
Celeborn did, his decision was easily made. “What about Galadriel?”
“I am no longer bound to
her and I would never consent to being bound to her ever again. I have missed
feeling this strong, this… young. My body is waking up, remembering needs that
were never fully met.” Celeborn studied Orophin’s eyes. “I have desired you for
a long time and I think you feel the same way about me. I would not ask you to
bind yourself to me, but I do not take lovers lightly. I would expect us to be
exclusive, Orophin.”
Celeborn felt it was
better to address this before they made a decision. “I am very loyal, Orophin,
and I would do my best to live up to your expectations, but only if you want to
be with me.”
Orophin swallowed hard,
raised his right hand and let his fingers comb through Celeborn’s mithril mane. “You are so different now. Stronger,
handsome… you radiate strength… and sex.”
Celeborn allowed himself a
relieved smile. “You like what you see then?”
“Very
much.” Orophin moistened his
lips nervously. “About forming a bond…”
“Not now… not yet,”
replied Celeborn firmly. “I do not know what effect it will have on you. I need
to learn to control my powers first.”
“But what I am trying to
tell you is that I want to be bound to you!”
Celeborn traced the
outline of Orophin’s top lip with a fingertip. “I do not want you to act
rashly. You think you know me, but do you? As I am now?”
“Then give me a chance to
get to know you!” He was panting hard, tremors coursed through his body and he
felt weak in Celeborn’s arms. Reacting instinctively, he leaned in closer and
claimed Celeborn’s lips in a bruising kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond had left his study
and walked to the Hall of Grief, where he found Rumil guarding the small wooden
box that held the precious remains of his firstborn twins. The Galadhrim’s eyes
were filled with understanding when Elrond placed a hand on the wooden box.
“I wish they had lived,”
mumbled Elrond sorrowfully.
Those words nearly broke
Rumil’s heart. “It was my fault,” he admitted in a strangled tone. “If I had
not fetched Erestor to help…”
Elrond raised a hand and
sighed deeply. “That was a most unfortunate chain of circumstances, but ‘tis
Galadriel’s fault mostly. She decided against telling me of Erestor’s
pregnancy.”
“What would you have done,
had she told you?” Rumil relaxed his stance and took a step toward the
half-Elf. Rumil still carried his own burden of guilt, and although Erestor had
never blamed him for the loss, he blamed himself.
Elrond considered the
question. “I would have been shocked to find out what Galadriel and Celeborn
had done, but I would have demanded for them to send Erestor to Imladris where
he could have given birth to them. I don’t know if I would have loved him as I
love him now, but I would have treated him with the utmost respect.”
“But then Arwen and your
twins might never have been born,” mumbled Rumil.
Elrond’s features darkened.
“Rumil, you were not to blame. You meant well when you fetched him. Did Erestor
ever blame you for his loss?”
“No, but—“
“Rumil.”
Rumil sighed deeply,
hearing Elrond’s calm tone. “I wish I could forgive myself, but I cannot.” He
startled briefly, feeling the half-Elf’s hand on his shoulder. “I just want him
to be happy.”
“So do I.”
Elrond managed a reassuring smile. “Erestor has found a home here.”
“You will take good care
of him and Indlîrien?”
“As long
as I will live.” Elrond
squeezed Rumil’s shoulder reassuringly. “We will all take care of him.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just before dinner, a
large group of Elves gathered in the Hall of Grief. Celeborn still tasted
Orophin’s lips against his and stood close to his new lover, making sure they
weren’t separated. The fact that Orophin had taken the initiative had surprised
and pleased him, as it made him look forward to their next sensual
exchange.
Rumil, Haldir, Glorfindel,
Arwen, the twins and Elrond were standing in front of the fire, their thoughts
with Erestor’s unborn children, whom they would put to rest tomorrow. Imladris’
finest sculptors had worked hard to erect a new tomb that would hold their
remains.
Elrond had asked them to
gather here, whilst Lindir sat with Erestor and Indlîrien. Turning around,
facing them, his gaze shifted from one to the other. He read regret, affection
and trust in each pair of eyes. “I asked you to join
me here because tomorrow will be a very emotional day for Erestor.” Elrond
watched them nod and then continued, “In the next few days Erestor will greatly
need your support. As the newest Lord of Imladris, he will need to find his
place here – at my side – and he will need your help.”
“He can count on us to
help him,” said Elladan in a firm tone.
“Thank you, my son,”
replied Elrond, pleased. “I am sure the three of you will become good friends
once Erestor does away with his distrust. It is not his fault, Elladan. Erestor
learned that not many people are to be trusted.”
“We will be patient,”
promised Elrohir.
Pleased that his sons had
completely accepted Erestor as part of their family, Elrond’s gaze came to rest
on Arwen. His family had expanded and he was grateful that his children
accepted his new life mate and daughter.
Celeborn cleared his
throat and Elrond was reminded of a different matter that he wanted to address.
“I want to spend as much time as possible with Erestor and Indlîrien, and I
wanted to ask you to take over some of my duties for the next few months.”
Celeborn nodded; he had
been about to suggest the same thing. “I will look after Imladris for you.”
“And maybe Orophin can
help?” suggested Haldir impishly. “My brother was always interested in learning
diplomacy.”
Elrond arched an eyebrow,
finding Orophin’s face a deep shade of crimson. He couldn’t remember ever
having seen an Elf blush that fiercely before. Not even Erestor. /Does Orophin
have some interest in Celeborn?/ Well, he couldn’t
blame the younger Elf for being attracted to Celeborn, certainly not now that
the elder Elf’s looks and charisma were so enchanting. Celeborn’s eyes met his.
/Celeborn knows we will have to talk shortly./ Elrond
was curious to find out what was truly happening to his former father in law.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Lindir? Thank you for sitting with Erestor.” Elrond gave
the white-haired Elf a thankful look and then opened his arms to receive
Erestor into them. One look at the cradle told him that Indlîrien was awake,
cooing happily.
“Someone should sit with
her, whilst we eat dinner,” said Erestor, worried.
“Rumil has offered to stay
with her. Will that do?” Elrond carefully monitored Erestor’s reaction and was
relieved to see the smile. He hadn’t thought Erestor blamed Rumil for his sons’
deaths, but he had wanted to make sure.
“Rumil will do perfectly.”
Erestor rested his head against Elrond’s chest, sighing blissfully.
“Hum, are you wearing my
robes?” Elrond was surprised to see how well they looked on Erestor. “They suit
you.”
Erestor blushed slightly.
“I too wondered why Elladan had selected these for me, but when I went through
my own robes, I realized I would drown in them. They are much too big now.”
“And mine fit you
perfectly.” Elrond realized he liked seeing his lover in his robes; it made
Erestor even more ‘his’. “You can wear mine until the tailor has time to see
you.”
“You do not mind?”
“No, I greatly approve of
seeing them on you.” Elrond was about to lean in closer to kiss Erestor when someone
knocked on the door; Rumil probably. After calling out ‘enter’, Rumil entered.
“Off to dinner with you,”
said Rumil impishly. “Erestor, you are still too—“
Elrond and Erestor
finished for him. “Skinny.”
“Aye.” Rumil smiled brilliantly, catching sight of
Indlîrien. “Hello there, little princess…” After walking over to the cradle, he
gently lifted her into his arms. Cradling her against his chest, his eyes began
to fill with unshed tears. “She is beautiful, Erestor.”
Erestor had a very good
idea of what was *really* going on in Rumil’s mind. He had tried before to tell
Rumil that the silver-haired Elf wasn’t to blame for the miscarriage he had
suffered, but Rumil seldom listened. Entrusting Indlîrien to the sentry now,
Erestor hoped Rumil finally understood how much he valued him as a friend.
“Take good care of her for me, Rumil.”
Elrond, who was already
guiding Erestor to the doorway, whispered, “She has already wrapped him around
her little finger.”
Erestor laughed softly,
hearing his daughter giggle. “She likes him.”
Rumil waited for the two
Elves to close the door behind them and then sat down in the rocking chair. Now
that he was holding her in his arms, he felt the first touches of forgiveness
descend on him and he began to let go of his feelings of guilt, which had
haunted him for so long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dinner proved to be
nerve-wrecking for Erestor. Upon his arrival, all eyes had turned to him and he
could still feel them now. Elrond had guided him to his seat, at the head of
the table, next to the half-Elf. It was his usual place, but now it felt
different.
Whilst Elrond introduced
him as his new mate and the one who had given him a daughter, Erestor forced
himself to stare at the wall, instead of hiding his face behind his hair.
Arwen, who was seated at his other side, reached out for him, wrapping her
fingers around his and he gave her a thankful smile. Her support meant a lot to
him.
He almost expected to hear
some protest when Elrond named him ‘Lord of Imladris’ and his official life
partner, but no one raised any objections. Elrond now sat down next to him and
his mate gave him a pleased smile. For one moment the half-Elf reminded him of
a cat, purring its pleasure.
“That made it official,”
announced Elrond proudly. Brushing a wayward lock behind Erestor’s pointed ear,
he smiled at him. “You are my husband, lover, and bonded mate.” And soon, he
hoped, Erestor would feel comfortable enough to explore their sensual
relationship as well. “I love you, Erestor… until the end of Arda.”
Beta read by Sulien.
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in
Chains
Part 39
Elrond distinctly noticed
Erestor’s relief now that dinner was over and they could make their way back to
their quarters. He didn’t know when it had happened, but Erestor had wrapped an
arm around him and his lover’s head rested on his shoulder. Finally, Erestor
seemed comfortable. Maybe he could try some light conversation, as he wanted to
keep Erestor in this relaxed state. “Did you also notice something about
Orophin… and Celeborn?”
Erestor smiled, rubbing
his cheek against Elrond’s shoulder. “Aye, I did. They stared at each other
throughout dinner and I can only label Celeborn’s look as predatory, but
Orophin did not seem to mind.”
“Do you not think it odd?
That Celeborn would fall for Orophin only weeks after severing his bond with
Galadriel?” They had reached their quarters and Elrond now pushed the door
open.
“No, I don’t. Celeborn and
Galadriel no longer loved each other. Only the Valar know for how long Celeborn
felt trapped inside that bond.” Erestor’s eyes softened, finding Rumil asleep
in the rocking chair, his daughter safely tucked away in the cradle. “I hope
Celeborn and Orophin will be happy.”
Elrond considered
Erestor’s words and decided to adapt his lover’s attitude when it came to this
matter. Erestor had also been trapped inside a one-sided bond and probably knew
best. /Thankfully, we *do* love each other and completed the bond. I am
beginning to believe that Galadriel never did./
“Rumil? Wake up! You cannot be comfortable sleeping like
that.” Erestor gently rocked the chair and smiled, seeing Rumil’s eyes fill
with awareness. “Thank you for watching her.”
“She is a sweet little
baby,” said Rumil, yawning. “And, you are right. I should head back to my
quarters. Haldir wants Orophin and I to become part of
the Imladris’ guards and tomorrow is our first training day.” He pushed himself
to his feet and his eyes sparkled, seeing the happiness in Erestor’s dark ones.
“I fed her and she will probably sleep for a few more hours.” He headed toward
the doors, running a hand through his tangled hair. Raising a hand in goodbye,
he disappeared into the corridor.
Erestor came to a stand
still next to the cradle and studied his daughter. Elrond walked over to him,
embraced him from behind and pulled him close. Erestor sighed blissfully. “I am
really happy, Elrond.”
“Good.”
Erestor smiled, hearing
the soft purr in the half-Elf’s voice. Turning in the embrace, their gazes met.
He involuntarily tensed slightly, seeing the lust and passion in Elrond’s eyes,
which were at half-mast. “I…” He backed away from the half-Elf, his stomach
suddenly tense and his fingers shaky. “I cannot… not yet…”
Sighing, Elrond berated
himself for letting go when knowing he had to proceed slowly. “’Tis late, and Ithil is high in the
Erestor released a
relieved sigh. “I apologize… I do not know what is wrong with me.”
/I think you do./ But Elrond was careful not to say those words aloud.
Leaving Erestor at the cradle, he walked over to the bed, where a servant had
already laid out two nightshirts. He picked up his shirt and began to disrobe,
constantly aware of Erestor’s eyes on him.
Erestor felt embarrassed
for his reaction earlier. Just what was wrong with him? After drawing in a deep
breath, he removed his robes as well, quickly slipping into his nightshirt,
relieved that they wouldn’t sleep naked. He wasn’t sure he could deal with that
yet. /Why am I so nervous?/
“Erestor?” Elrond, who had pushed down the covers, now
extended a hand, inviting Erestor to join him. The dark, doe-like eyes reminded
him of that first night in Lothlorien when he had been about to take Erestor
without any preparation at all, just like he had done after the
And yes, Erestor was
tired. After shuffling his feet indecisively, he made up his mind and placed
his hand in Elrond’s.
Elrond realized the
fragile trust he was given and moved aside, giving Erestor all the space the
other Elf needed to lie down and make himself
comfortable. “May I hold you in my arms tonight?”
Erestor nodded weakly,
knowing Elrond was worthy of his trust and yet, he remained nervous. “’Tis not you,” he tried to explain. “I know you love me and…
‘Tis me.”
“I think I understand,”
said Elrond, thoughtfully, when Erestor tentatively snuggled up to him. Face to
face, he saw the apprehension in the dark eyes. Completing the embrace, he wrapped
his lover in a loose hug, not wanting Erestor to feel trapped. “This goes back
to our first time, or am I wrong?”
“Our first time…”
Erestor’s voice was full of surprise at hearing it phrased like that. “You
thought I was the High-King.”
Elrond knew he was
venturing onto thin ice, but went ahead at any rate, trying to tread carefully.
“How badly did I hurt you? That night is a bit… vague to me. The only thing I
remember clearly is finding the sheets stained with blood. I tore you badly,
didn’t I?” It would certainly explain why Erestor was this ‘hesitant’ around
him when they were about to become intimate. The fact that Erestor had paled
and was now as white as a sheet worried him. “Erestor?”
“Yes, you did… hurt… tear
me…” Erestor forced himself to draw in his next breath and not panic. He had to
grow out of his fears and doubts.
“I am sorry that I hurt
you,” said Elrond sincerely, caressing the long, partly braided hair that
flowed down his lover’s back. “I was not thinking rationally that night, being
consumed by grief. And when I thought Ereinion had returned to me and wanted to
make love with me, I did.”
“I… I forgave you a long
time ago. Do we have to talk about this now?” Erestor felt confused and was
doing his best not to fall apart in front of Elrond.
“I feel we need to discuss
this now,” explained Elrond, whilst his other hand gently stroked his lover’s
hip. “Because of that night you expect our future lovemaking to be like that;
painful and humiliating.”
“I do not think so,” said Erestor,
surprised. “That last night in Lothlorien…”
“I was coherent then, but
I still acted rushed. Making love can be beautiful, Erestor, and I intend to
show you when you are ready to take that step, but in the back of your mind,
you still expect to be hurt.” Elrond saw Erestor flinch, and instantly knew he
had guessed correctly. “And that is why you need to hear this – now.” Deserting
stroking Erestor’s long hair, he placed the palm of his hand against his
lover’s cheek, rubbing the skin gently. “I will never hurt you again. I will
never force you into anything. You are my very soul; you might not realize
that, but I would rather hurt myself than allow you to be hurt. You are safe
with me, now and for always.”
Erestor listened
breathlessly, finally hearing words he had desperately needed to hear, without
ever having realized that he needed to be reassured. “I do love you, Elrond,
and I want you to touch me, but…”
Elrond was tempted to
finish the sentence for Erestor, but didn’t, wanting his lover to say the words
himself.
“But I am not ready yet…
for… intercourse.” Erestor managed to maintain eye contact whilst saying that.
“But I think I can deal with kissing… And I like the feel of you running your
fingers through my hair.” He didn’t want to disappoint Elrond, and now that the
half-Elf seemed to understand, Erestor felt safe enough to admit the truth.
“Kissing…” whispered
Elrond softly against Erestor’s lips before brushing them. “I like kissing
you.” Running one hand down his lover’s back – and his hair – he shifted
closer, settling down for some serious kissing.
Erestor eagerly parted his
lips and teeth, trying to answer with all the passion he felt.
Surprised to find Erestor
this eager, Elrond quickly handed control of the kiss to his lover, knowing
Erestor needed to be in charge for now. Lips brushed, tongues danced, chasing
after each other, and he slowly rolled onto his back, bringing Erestor with
him.
Finding himself on top of
Elrond, straddling the half-Elf’s hips, Erestor wondered how he had gotten into
that position, but then the kissing started again. Breathlessly, he took charge
of the kiss, exploring his lover’s mouth, and playfully nipping at Elrond’s
bottom lip before releasing the bruised tissue.
“You are beautiful,”
whispered Elrond, enchanted. Erestor hovered above him, strands of long hair
teased his skin and his lover now rested his hands on his abdomen. Elrond
wished they were naked, but for Erestor’s sake didn’t do anything to rid them
of their nightshirts. The chocolate eyes had gained a dark glow, which was
utterly captivating. Knowing Erestor would love it, he slowly ran a hand
through the long mane, whilst his other began to undo the braids. “Still comfortable?”
“Very
comfortable.” Erestor was
trying hard not to think, not to remember and just allow himself
to feel his lover’s touch. Elrond had grown hard beneath him and that puzzled
him. The Ruler of Imladris couldn’t possible enjoy being on the bottom. But
then again, hadn’t Elrond suggested reversing their roles at one point? “You
know what?” Erestor bowed forward and placed light kisses on each of Elrond’s
eyelids, making the half-Elf giggle. “My behavior is ridiculous… What I am
trying to say is… We are bonded… You already claimed me three times and I gave
birth to our daughter. And yet I continue to act like a shy maiden on her first
night of passion.”
“But this is your first
night of passion,” said Elrond wistfully. “This is the first time I know who
you are and that you love me. And you can finally express your own needs,
instead of submitting to me.” A soft growl escaped him.
Erestor understood,
knowing that the growl had been meant for Galadriel and not for him. “She told
me I had to submit for you to be healed, I never questioned her words and… I
am… was… am inexperienced. I would not have known what to do to completely bind
myself to you.”
“She hurt you in so many
ways, for so long…” Elrond caressed his lover’s face. “But I will make you
happy. I promise.”
“I am already happy,” said
Erestor thankfully, bowing forward to claim the half-Elf’s lips. He was a bit
surprised at the speed with which Elrond was yielding to him, but allowed himself to simply enjoy and accept the gift. “It will take
me some time, but I will try to become the lover you want me to be.”
“Don’t…” Elrond shook his
head, placing his hands at either side of Erestor’s head, making sure his lover
heard him. “I do not want you to become the lover you think I want. Be
yourself. I know there is a lot of passion inside you; you just need time and
to feel more secure in our bond to show it. I want *you*, not someone you think
I want.” That little speech earned him the most passionate kiss so far.
Suddenly, his lips were utterly possessed, bruised in a fierce kiss promising many
exhausting nights once Erestor had found his confidence in the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Did you have enough time
to ponder my question?” Celeborn coyly looked at Orophin, who was still at his
side. Dinner had ended half an hour ago and they had retreated to the gardens,
enjoying the peace and quiet. Ithil was liquid silver tonight, and he could
literally feel the power flow into his body.
“What question?” Orophin
felt enthralled by Celeborn. The elder Elf seemed surrounded by a soft silver
glow, intensifying the mithril color of the now long
mane.
“What do you want,
Orophin?” Celeborn sat down on the grass and a soft breeze played with strands
of his hair.
Entranced, Orophin sat
down as well, staring hungrily at Celeborn. “I want you, I already told you
that.”
“You do realize that there
is no way back for you if we decide to make this commitment? You are young,
handsome and utterly desirable, whilst I feel ancient. Are you sure we are not
a bad match?” Celeborn couldn’t help himself,
involuntarily he inched closer until he was kneeling in front of Orophin and
his lips brushing the younger Elf’s. “I feel like I am going to burst with
passion for you.”
“I realize what it
entails,” panted Orophin softly. “And I accept you as my lover. Oh, by the
Valar, do you have any idea how much I need you? How hard it is to keep my
hands off of you?”
“Other parts of you are
hard as well,” said Celeborn, unable to resist the corny pun. Chuckling amused,
he pulled Orophin onto his lap, tightly holding the younger Elf in place. “Wrap
your arms and legs around me.”
Orophin
felt like he was dreaming, finally having Celeborn this close. The passion and lust that filled the dark blue
eyes were making it hard for him to breathe. Suddenly, the laces to his
breeches were undone and a warm and greedy hand slipped inside. “Oh, what…?”
“I would love to take my
time with you, but my passion for you burns too hotly. I need you now… I want
you…completely.” Laying Orophin down on his back, he used one knee to push the
younger Elf’s legs apart. “But only if you desire me as well.”
Orophin, slightly stunned at the pace Celeborn was setting,
swallowed hard, but then yelped softly, as agile fingers began to massage his
length. Celeborn was demanding, assuming control and… /I like it./ Soft lips claimed his in an intense kiss and he lifted
his hips, trying to increase the friction around his shaft. “Will you… be
gentle? I have never… done this… before.” Celeborn’s strokes kept him on edge,
his body demanding release. Looking at Celeborn hovering above him, he was
overcome by an intense sense of happiness. “Aye, I want this… I want you…”
“I will be gentle, love,”
promised Celeborn. Quickly, he unbuttoned Orophin’s shirt, removing it and staring
admiringly at the smooth, hairless chest. Two erect nipples proved too much
temptation and he rolled one of them between his fingertips, drawing needy mews
from his new lover. “Soon,” he panted, teasing the hard nubs of flesh with the
tip of his tongue. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this to you.”
His hands moved downwards.
“Raise your hips.” Quickly, he slid off the leggings and was finally graced
with the sight of Orophin’s naked body. “Perfect.” Within seconds, he had rid
himself of his own shirt and leggings and now knelt between the powerful
thighs. “I will be gentle,” he repeated, seeing a hint of apprehension in the
hazel eyes. “I will always be gentle with you.”
Orophin yielded at once,
when Celeborn’s lips descended over his in a possessive kiss. The elder Elf’s
hand returned to stroking his length and he thrust, needing release fast,
needing it now. “It burns me…”
“I feel
it too,” whispered Celeborn, putting his hands on his lover’s body and
exploring all sensitive areas.
“It is in my veins. My passion for you burns me.”
Everywhere Celeborn’s
hands touched him sparks erupted beneath the skin, quickly driving Orophin to
an orgasmic high. Just when he was afraid he would come without feeling
Celeborn inside him, his body was breached by a first digit.
Celeborn had used the
juices of a healing plant, which he had found in the shadow of an old birch
tree, and used it to lubricate his lover’s passage. “Roll over onto your side,
Orophin.” His lover had already admitted to being new to making love and he
wanted to make this as pleasurable as possible for the younger Elf.
“I want to be able to look
at you,” demanded Orophin, disliking the idea of making love on his side.
“Trust me. I will make
this good for you.” Celeborn spooned behind his lover and guided Orophin’s
knees to the younger Elf’s chest. “Try to stay like this.” Pressing teasing
kisses on his lover’s neck, he nibbled his way over to one earlobe, suckling
it. Wrapping one arm around Orophin, he reached for his lover’s erection,
stroking it lazily. Reaching for the healing plant once more, he squeezed more
juices from the leaves and rubbed it onto his hard flesh. “Are you ready? I can
still stop now. Are you sure this is the right path for you?”
“I am sure,” said Orophin
in a surprisingly convinced tone. Looking over his shoulder, he made eye
contact with the elder Elf. “Do you want me?”
“I crave you.”
“Then have me.” Orophin,
feeling the blunt head of his lover’s erection against his entrance, began to
push back. “You need to quench this fire inside me, it is burning me alive!”
What was causing this need? This… lust? He had never
felt it before, and by the way Celeborn was looking at him, the elder Elf felt
it too.
Unable to keep back any
longer, Celeborn buried himself inside his lover’s tight passage with one long,
gentle stroke. “Ai…” Instincts were taking over – instincts he hadn’t known he
even had! – and his teeth buried themselves in
Orophin’s shoulder, drawing a few droplets of blood.
Orophin had been unprepared
for the penetration and the invasion that followed. A burning pain made him
tremble, but then Celeborn thrust for the first time, rubbing something inside
him. “Ah… ai, what… aye… there…now…again…” Within
seconds he was reduced to squirming and rambling incoherently, wishing Celeborn
would allow him to come. When he finally reached orgasm, he threw back his head
and released a series of grunts, pushing back to feel his lover as deeply as
possible inside him.
Celeborn followed Orophin
over the edge, releasing the skin between his teeth as he didn’t want to
inflict serious damage, and buried his face in Orophin’s damp hair instead.
Crushing the younger Elf to him, he shook, releasing his seed inside his new
lover. Even during this intense state, he realized another bond had been
formed, this time involuntarily and triggered by the power of their union.
But this time it felt
different; it felt whole, round, complete. /A mutual bond… How is that possible?/ How could that have happened? And did he have the heart
to tell Orophin?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elrond busied himself
playing with one of Erestor’s braids. Indlîrien had woken them twice during the
night, demanding to be fed. Elrond had seen to her needs both times, wanting Erestor
to stay in their warm nest. After returning to their bed that second time, he
had been unable to fall asleep again and had enjoyed studying Erestor’s face
instead. There were deep lines etched onto Erestor’s forehead that shouldn’t
have been there. Galadriel’s scheming had put them there and Elrond hoped that
with patience and a lot of tender loving care, they would disappear in time.
Erestor had endured so much for his sake. “Good morning, my love. Wake up for
me… and for our daughter?” His lips brushed Erestor’s, drawing pleased purrs
from them. “We have a busy day ahead of us.” This afternoon their unborn sons
would finally find their final resting place near the Bruinen.
Erestor raised a hand and
cupped Elrond’s cheek in his palm, adoringly staring into the gray eyes. “You
will be at my side when we… take them there?”
“I will be there.” Elrond
placed a chaste kiss on his lover’s brow and sat up. Erestor followed suit and
both Elves left the bed. Erestor headed for the cradle, taking his daughter
into his arms, whilst Elrond opened the door so the servants could serve
breakfast.
“Did you feed her twice
last night?” Erestor frowned, recalling Elrond had left their bed.
“She was hungry. She has a
fine appetite, which is a good thing for a prematurely born baby.” Elrond
stopped in his tracks, taking in the sight of his lover and daughter. The Valar
had truly blessed him.
“
Elrond and Erestor
exchanged a glance. “That is a good idea,” said the half-Elf eventually. “We
need to bath and get dressed. Arwen can watch her in the meantime.”
Erestor wasn’t so sure it
was a good idea. He had just been reunited with his daughter and he wanted her
close all the time. But he knew he couldn’t take her into the pool with him.
Sighing, he nodded once, and placed her in Arwen’s
arms. Indlîrien began to cry – loudly – and her tiny fingers reached for
Erestor’s dark hair, succeeding in grabbing hold of a long strand.
“Ai!” Erestor frowned at his daughter’s action. “Why did
you do that?”
“She does not like being
parted from you,” said Arwen, smiling.
Indlîrien still had a
surprisingly tight hold on his hair and Erestor had to cradle her against his
chest once more. “I love you too, little one, but we have to part for a little
while and Arwen really likes you. You will have fun with her.”
Elrond grinned, realizing
that Indlîrien’s hold on Erestor’s hair was tightening. The small hand had
turned into an amazingly strong fist.
“Aiya, Indlîrien, you
kicked me when I still carried you and now you are tugging at my hair. ‘Tis safe to say you inherited many of Elrond’s character
traits. You already have the makings of a warrior.”
Indlîrien suddenly cooed
happily and finally released the strand of hair.
“I think she liked hearing
that,” said Arwen, giving her father a wink.
Elrond smiled, wrapped an
arm around Erestor’s waist, and led his lover into the bathroom. “Our daughter
is quite possessive.”
“She must have inherited
that from you.” Erestor blushed weakly, finding Elrond had stepped out of his
nightshirt and was now filling up the pool. Elrond’s body was agile, built for
endurance and Erestor watched the play of muscles on the half-Elf’s back as
Elrond lowered himself into the water.
“Are you joining me?” Once
more, Elrond mimicked last night’s action and raised his hand in invitation.
Erestor gingerly removed
the nightshirt, feeling vulnerable now that he was naked and joined Elrond in
the pool. Their gazes met and Elrond’s look spoke volumes. “I will eat,” he
said quickly, “Elladan already told me to eat more and I will.”
“Good.” Elrond approved of
Elladan expressing his concern, but tension had risen between them and he
wanted to do away with it. “Would you wash my hair for me? I will do yours if
you would like that.” Handing Erestor a bar of soap, he waited for his mate to
calm his nerves.
Erestor nodded, moistened
his lips and created lather with the soap. When Elrond turned his back toward
him, Erestor swallowed hard, overcome by the need to touch his mate – more
intimately than just washing his hair, but told himself that this was not the
time, nor the place for it, and washed Elrond’s hair instead. He combed the
long strands with his fingers, undoing the knots the half-Elf liked to wear.
Touching Elrond in this way was comfortable and reassuring, and when he had
finished rinsing the hair, he wished he hadn’t finished yet.
“Turn around, ‘tis your
turn now.” Elrond took the cup Erestor had used to rinse his hair with and used
it to wet his lover’s mane. Taking care of each other in this way felt
surprisingly intimate and satisfying.
Erestor rested his head on
Elrond’s shoulder. “Hold me? Hold me tight? The mere thought of having to say
goodbye to my sons again makes my heart ache.”
Elrond complied,
delighted that Erestor had asked him to do so. “Trust me,
the time has come to let them go. They will always remain in your heart, but
you have to put them to rest. Put the memories and the pain to rest. And then
focus on your future – our future.” Elrond hugged him tightly, hoping Erestor
was ready to start living in the present, instead of in the past.
TBC
Beta read by Sulien,
thanks!
All remaining mistakes are mine!
Heart in
Chains
Part 40
Erestor managed to be calm
and controlled for Elrond’s sake when Celeborn placed the remains inside the
tomb for a second time, but seeing the scene brought back unsettling memories.
He had wrapped one arm tightly around Elrond’s waist, to give support and to
receive it in turn, and when the ceremony came to an end, he found himself
eager to return to their rooms. He desperately wanted to rock Indlîrien in his
arms.
Sensing Erestor’s need to
be reunited with their daughter, Elrond excused them and guided his lover back
to the Last Homely House. Although the half-Elf seemed composed, Elrond wanted
nothing more than to march back to Lothlorien and extract revenge on Galadriel
for keeping him in the dark about his sons.
“You will have to let go
of your anger in the end,” offered Erestor softly, making eye contact with
Elrond. “Or it will consume you.”
“And you know this
because…?”
“I let my grief consume me
for three thousand years.” Erestor gingerly rubbed Elrond’s back through the
fabric of the robes. Elrond had told him that he wanted to be touched, but to
actually take that step and show some initiative was hard for him. “We need to
live in the present and to look toward the future.”
“Again you offer me wise
words,” said Elrond thoughtfully. “But you have had millennia to deal with the
loss. I am still trying to understand Galadriel’s betrayal.”
Erestor opened the door to
their quarters, remaining quiet, pondering Elrond’s words. After thanking
Lindir for looking after Indlîrien, he gathered her in his arms and held her
close. “Sit down in the rocking chair, Elrond… Please.” He was surprised to
realize he had just given the half-Elf an order.
Elrond questioningly
arched an eyebrow, but did as he was told. “Why?” His question was answered
when Erestor placed their daughter in his arms.
“Sometimes we need to be
reminded of the things we *do* have.” Erestor watched them, realizing how right
this felt and knelt on the floor beside the rocking chair. After placing his
hands on Elrond’s knees, he looked deeply into his lover’s eyes. “You have
Indlîrien now.”
“And I have you.” Holding
his daughter with one hand, he used the other to stroke Erestor’s hair.
“And you have me,” confirmed
Erestor with a smile. Concentrating on their bond, he sent a small amount of
his healing energy into Elrond’s fëa, strengthening him, hoping it encouraged
the half-Elf to live in the here and now. “Do not ponder the past when the
present has so much to offer.”
Elrond was deeply touched
by Erestor’s words and caressed his lover’s face. “I thank the Valar that I
found out about you and our daughter.”
Erestor’s face was alight
with happiness and his skin glowed softly. “I love you too, Elrond Half-Elven.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orophin shifted constantly
on his chair, wondering why he felt this… odd. He couldn’t label the sensation,
but he definitely felt different and it had started after Celeborn had made
love to him.
“Orophin? Can you even hear me?” Rumil waved a hand in front
of his brother’s face, trying to catch Orophin’s attention. “Hello?”
Orophin sighed and turned
away from his annoying brother. “Leave me alone.”
“Not when you are clearly
upset.” Rumil pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Orophin. “Does it have
anything to do with the fact that you spent last night in Celeborn’s arms?”
“What?” Startled, Orophin
searched Rumil’s eyes. They had been discrete! Rumil couldn’t possible know
they had made love!
“You did not sleep here
last night, so where could you have been? My guess is in Celeborn’s arms.”
Rumil sighed, gathering his brother’s hands in his. “Why did you not listen to
me? I told you to keep your distance.”
“I couldn’t. I… I…”
Orophin lowered his eyes, gathering his courage. “I felt on fire and I needed
him… and he felt the same way.”
Rumil cupped his brother’s
cheek in his palm and lifted the handsome face. “Did you discuss this matter
before the two of you… made love?”
“We did. And he wants us
to be together. One could consider us married…”
“But?” Rumil knew his brother well enough to know Orophin
was still keeping something from him.
“But he won’t bind us! I
offered…” Orophin pleadingly looked at his brother, hoping Rumil understood. “You
know that I have always loved him from afar and now…”
“Go, talk to him,” said
Rumil, pulling his brother to his feet. “Tell him what bothers you.”
“I am not sure I can.” But
Rumil didn’t listen and before Orophin knew it, his
brother was dragging him into and then down the corridor to where Celeborn’s
quarters were located.
“I advised you against
taking this step in the first place, but now that you have, you have to follow
through.” Rumil came to a halt in front of the door to Celeborn’s rooms, knocking
once. “Tell him!” When Celeborn called out ‘enter’, Rumil opened the door and
pushed his brother inside.
Orophin stood frozen,
hearing Rumil close the door behind him. Shuffling his feet, his gaze
apprehensively sought out Celeborn’s, finding the elder Elf leafing through
some papers.
“Ah, back so soon,
lirimaer?” Delighted to see his lover, Celeborn rose from behind his desk and
headed for the younger Elf. After folding one arm around Orophin’s waist, he
possessively pulled him close and claimed the soft lips. This time, however,
Orophin’s response was a bit… lacking. “Something is troubling you.”
“Yes, there is...
something.” Orophin trembled in the strong arms. Finally making eye contact, it
was hard for him to reconcile this stronger, more handsome version with that of
the sullen Lord he had known his entire life. There was such strength in
Celeborn that he wondered how he could expect the elder Elf to be his for
eternity. Surely Celeborn would turn a lot of heads and find someone more worthy
of his attention. “Why won’t you allow us to be bound to one another? I want
that.”
Celeborn sighed deeply.
There was no way to keep this a secret, then. “Orophin?
There is something you need to know.” He guided the younger Elf to the bed,
where they sat down. After placing a hand at the column of Orophin’s neck, he
soothingly rubbed the skin. “When we made love, something went wrong.”
Orophin tensed, stricken.
“Wrong? What went wrong? By the Valar, can we fix it?”
“I am afraid not. It
happened involuntarily. I had no hand in it.” Swallowing hard, Celeborn hoped
his younger lover would understand. “We were bound to each other during our
love making. I never intended for it to happen, but—“ His
voice trailed off, seeing the brilliant smile on Orophin’s lips.
“You scared me!” Orophin
threw a punch at Celeborn’s chest, glaring at the elder Elf. “You made me think
something terrible had happened!” He continued to pound Celeborn’s chest,
infuriated that the elder Elf thought this was a bad thing. “That is exactly
what I wanted!”
Celeborn caught Orophin’s
wrists, stopping him from pummeling him further. “But it is still too early,
lirimaer.”
“I want it that way!”
Orophin, braving Celeborn’s wavering eyes, stood his ground. “I want us to be
bound to each other.”
Celeborn relented. “I
cannot undo the bond at any rate.”
“But you severed the link
with Galadriel.” Orophin had freed a hand and stroked Celeborn’s skin, rubbing
his thumb along the strong jaw line.
“That was different as she
had never bonded with me.”
Orophin’s eyes sparkled
with pleasure. “So there was some subconscious approval on your part when the
bond was formed?”
“You always told me you
wanted this bond, so when it was formed, I suppose it happened automatically.”
Celeborn was relieved now that Orophin knew the truth.
“I also have the suspicion
the others already know about us. Maybe not Erestor and Elrond, but my brothers
do. Rumil actually dragged me here to tell you that I was upset because you
would not bind us.”
“So the others know?” An
impish grin appeared on Celeborn’s face. “Good, for that means I can kiss you
in public.”
“Like anything could stop
you from kissing me in public,” teased Orophin, confident Celeborn loved him.
“No one could ever stop
me,” whispered Celeborn, claiming his lover’s lips. He had waited much too long
to severe his connection with Galadriel and was determined to savor each moment
spent with Orophin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“She won’t stop crying!”
Nervous, now that he couldn’t calm his daughter down, Erestor looked pleadingly
at Elrond. “I already fed her and she should be tired, but she won’t stop
crying!” He rocked her slowly, pacing the nursery.
Erestor’s stressed tone
had alerted Elrond that his lover needed help and he told Erestor to hand
Indlîrien to him. Once she was safely tucked in his arms, he offered her a
fingertip to suckle on. Within seconds, the cries faded away.
Staring at Elrond in
wonder, Erestor released a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”
“Elladan used to cry like
this for hours, until I let him suckle on my finger. That worked miracles.”
Elrond walked over to the rocking chair and sat down. “Would you let the
servants in so they can serve dinner? I am growing hungry.”
Erestor nodded once and
answered the door. Whilst dinner was being placed on the table, he briefly
disappeared into the bathroom. He splashed some cold water onto his face,
telling himself to remain calm. It was normal that Indlîrien cried at times; he
had to get used to that. He was thankful that Elrond had taken over and was now
rocking their daughter.
/Elrond…/ His feelings for
the half-Elf were still deepening and he found he craved Elrond’s touch. But at
the same time he was still afraid that there would be pain and blood and that he
would conceive again.
“Erestor?” Elrond had placed their daughter back into the
cradle after rocking her to sleep and had felt the need to check on his lover.
Seeing the expression on Erestor’s face, he knew his lover was troubled. “There
will be countless sleepless nights,” he said honestly, “But I do have some
experience when it comes to raising children. You do not have to do this
alone.”
“Thank you,” whispered
Erestor, slightly shaken. “I never thought I would ever be raising a child, not
after losing the twins.”
“You will do splendidly,”
said Elrond, trying to reassure Erestor. “But now we need to eat dinner.” He
guided his lover back to the table, where they sat down opposite each other.
“Eat.”
Erestor’s stomach promptly
growled and he began to eat his soup. “I have been thinking…” he started in a
wavering tone.
“About
what?” Elrond smiled
reassuringly.
“About us… making love…
you to me…” Erestor blushed, lowered his eyes and traced circles on the plate
with his spoon.
“Erestor…” Hadn’t they
already discussed this?
“No, I…I want to take that
step, ‘tis just… I am not ready yet to become pregnant again.” He still avoided
looking into Elrond’s eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in them. “And
we cannot be sure any of the healing plants that normally prevent pregnancy in
she-Elves will also work on me.”
“Erestor,” said Elrond,
placing his hand on his lover’s. “I already told you that I do not want to
endanger your life by you becoming pregnant again.”
“I know that, but…”
Erestor trembled slightly, “’Tis not fair to make you
suffer for my problem. I know you were hard when… when we kissed last night
and…”
Elrond rose from his
chair, covered the distance between them and went down on one knee in front of
Erestor, whose big eyes stared wonderingly at him. “I also told you we could
reverse roles.”
“I could not… do *that* to
you,” mumbled Erestor, taken aback. He simply couldn’t picture Elrond allowing
that, allowing himself to be that vulnerable. Tenderly, Elrond cupped his face
in his gentle hands, redirecting his gaze so he had to look into the cloudy,
gray eyes. “That does not seem right. After all, you are—“
“What? The one who claimed
you three times? Yes, I did that, and rather poorly I might add.” Elrond wished
he could find a way to convince Erestor that he really wanted this, but would
words be enough? “My love, by claiming me in turn you would complete the
circle. Don’t you see that?”
“But why would you want to
submit to me?” Erestor felt confused.
Elrond shook his head. “Galadriel
was wrong to tell you that you had to submit to me. Making love is not about
submission, or pain. ‘Tis about
love and making the other happy. I do think you would understand if you
were to give this a chance. You have a kind and giving nature, Erestor. You
would see the difference if you were to make love to me.”
“I am not sure,” said
Erestor, wavering. “I do not think you understand how much pain is involved.”
He flashed back to his first time and the pain he had suffered back then
suddenly felt very real to him. “You should not have to suffer like that.”
“Aiya, I hurt you so
much,” said Elrond, feeling frustrated. “But there does not have to be much
pain, Erestor.”
Considering Elrond’s
words, Erestor nodded slowly. “There was less pain involved that last time in
Lothlorien.”
“I promise you that there
will be no pain involved when you claim me. I will see to that. Please give us
this chance, Erestor.”
“I do need to overcome
these doubts and fears,” said Erestor absentmindedly. “But maybe you should
claim me instead? You could pull out before climaxing, making it less likely
that I will conceive.”
“There is still a chance
you might conceive,” replied Elrond firmly. “And I do not want to take that
risk. Not until we know which healing plants are most likely to prevent a
pregnancy.”
Erestor realized Elrond
was determined not to take any risks where he was concerned and it made him
feel special. “You should not worry that much about me.”
“But you are my heart,
Erestor. How can I not worry about you?” Hoping he had finally convinced
Erestor that he really wanted to reverse their roles in bed, he rose from the
floor. But before returning to his chair, he placed a loving kiss on Erestor’s
lips. “We do not have to do this tonight, but I would love to feel you inside
me some time.” He chuckled softly at finding Erestor’s blush deepening. “You
might not want to hear this, but I have been on the receiving end before with
Ereinion. So I know how to properly prepare myself when we decide to make love.
I will guide you. Do not worry about hurting me, love.”
Erestor briefly averted
his eyes. He had never pondered Elrond’s preferences in bed. “You like… being on… the receiving end?”
“Sometimes.” Elrond returned to his seat and picked up his
spoon. “There can be much pleasure in being taken that way.”
“You will show me… guide
me, then? For I refuse to hurt you.”
“I will guide you,”
promised Elrond, cursing his past actions, which had hurt Erestor so deeply.
“And we will both enjoy it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erestor had snuggled up to
him in bed and Elrond was relishing every moment spent with his lover. They had
moved the cradle next to their bed, making it easier for them to keep an eye on
their daughter and to feed her when necessary. But the baby was asleep now and
wouldn’t wake for a few more hours.
“Everything is the way it
is supposed to be,” whispered Elrond soothingly. Erestor had greatly surprised
him by suggesting they did not wear their nightshirts, and feeling his lover’s
naked body pressed against his, soothed his troubled mind. His fingertips
lightly stroked the scar tissue, left behind on Erestor’s abdomen due to his
pregnancies. “Thank you for carrying Indlîrien.”
Erestor smiled against
Elrond’s chest. “Thank you for accepting her… us.”
“Now sleep…” whispered
Elrond, stroking his lover’s back. “Sleep…” Listening to Erestor’s breathing,
he realized the elder Elf was quickly falling asleep. “I will hold you through
the night. You are alone no longer.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Erestor? I have a gift for you.” Elrond placed a beautiful
rosewood box in front of his lover, who was rocking Indlîrien and letting her
suck on a fingertip.
“A
gift?” Erestor stared at the box
in puzzlement.
“Here, let me take her.”
Elrond gathered his daughter in his arms and sat down next to Erestor on the
couch. “Open it.”
Erestor picked the box up
from the table and studied it. “Why? Why give me this?”
“Because I want everyone
to know you that you are mine. And I also think you earned it.” Seeing Erestor
arch an eyebrow, he added, “Must I have a special reason to give you a present?
I love you and want to see you happy. I hope this will make you happy and
always remind you of our love.”
“You have already given me
so much!” Erestor’s eyes shone with love for Elrond as he opened the box. His
breath caught, seeing the mithril circlet.
Reverently, he removed it from the box, studying it with big eyes. It was
similar to Elrond’s, but the curves of the piece were shaped like waves upon a
calm sea. Erestor was left speechless and was completely unaware he was holding
his breath as Elrond placed his hands over his and said, “May I?”
Elrond knelt in front of
him and placed the circlet on his head, then kissed him. The kiss was soft and
tender, with all of Elrond’s love behind it and he gently suckled Erestor’s
bottom lip before he broke the kiss. Erestor let out his pent up breath in a
soft “Ah!”
Elrond gently took
Erestor’s face in both hands and gazed into the chocolate brown eyes as he
said, “Always remember that you are my chosen, bonded mate and a Lord of
Imladris. This circlet will confirm that for all to see and acknowledge my
trust in you.”
Quite stunned, Erestor
remained speechless, as Elrond released his lover’s face and reached into a
pocket of his robes. He withdrew a smaller box, which he opened to reveal a mithril ring. It was a perfect companion to the circlet,
resembling waves and set with sapphires and diamonds. “’Tis beautiful!” Erestor gasped.
Elrond removed the ring
from the box and said, “It is set with sapphires to evoke the deeps of the sea
and demonstrate the depth of my love for you. And I chose diamonds to remind you
of the white of the foamy spray in the bay at the Havens of Sirion.” Elrond
gently slipped it down his lover’s ring finger. “And now everyone will know you
are my beloved, even when you are not wearing your circlet.”
Completely overwhelmed,
Erestor leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Elrond, also burying
Indlîrien in his hug. Words couldn’t express the love he felt for the half-Elf,
but maybe he could shortly take that final step and show him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why did you bring me
here?” Erestor frowned at his lover. They were in the healing house and
although the sounds and scents were very familiar and comforting, he wondered
why Elrond had dragged him from their rooms.
Camfael, who had decided
to stay in Imladris now that Celeborn had taken up residence here, approached
and raised his arms, gathering Erestor in a careful hug. “Actually, I suggested
that he bring you here.” Camfael was delighted to see the healthy blush on
Erestor’s face. His former charge had also regained some much needed weight.
Erestor looked well, well enough to start working with him. “I thought you
might want to pass on your considerable knowledge to the students. We do need
someone to teach them.”
Erestor’s eyes widened.
“You want *me* to teach them? But I do not know enough and…” Elrond’s finger
descended onto his lips, effectively silencing him.
“You have accumulated so
much knowledge in your life that you are more than qualified to teach them,”
said Elrond sincerely. “I know that Indlîrien is a very important part of your
life, but I also know from personal experience that you will need time away
from her. Just wait until she starts teething. I used to hide in my study and
let Lindir and Celebrian deal with the twins. You cannot be there for Indlîrien
every minute of the day; she will exhaust you. Working here will provide you
with a much needed distraction and rest.” Elrond hoped Erestor understood.
“Plus, I want my people to see how talented a healer you are. That will earn
you their respect, and should I ever have to leave Imladris in the future, they
would obey you more easily.”
Erestor nodded,
understanding Elrond’s intentions. “I accept, then.”
“Excellent!” Camfael
smiled happily. “I do need some help training them. Many aspire to become a
healer, but only a few are talented.”
“I will help you.” Erestor
smiled brilliantly at Elrond. /He really wants me to be a part of his life in
every aspect./ And he appreciated that. It also meant
it would be a lot easier to do research on those plants that could prevent a
pregnancy. They might have agreed that Elrond would be on the receiving end
when they finally did make love, but Erestor wouldn’t be satisfied until his
lover could claim him as well, without having to worry about the possible
consequences.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Where is Indlîrien?”
Erestor frowned at finding her cradle empty.
During these last two
weeks he had finally found his place in life. During the day, his hours were
spent looking after his daughter and helping Camfael train the young students.
In the evening, he would dine with Elrond and their friends, and then cuddle up
to his lover in bed. They had begun to touch experimentally and Elrond had
seemed extremely pleased, finding him responding eagerly. It had become clear
to both of them that they were nearly ready to take that final step and now
that the cradle was empty, Erestor suspected Elrond judged the time had come.
“Where is she?”
“Arwen and the twins will
look after her tonight,” said Elrond, advancing on his lover. He had slipped
into a comfortable evening robe and had removed any braids and knots from his
hair, preferring to wear it loose tonight. “We should not be disturbed tonight,
now should we?”
Erestor nodded slowly; his
suspicions were correct then. “You want to do ‘it’ tonight?” Gingerly, he
wrapped his arms around Elrond’s shoulders, running his fingers through the
dark mane. The half-Elf was utterly desirable and Erestor was already hard with
need.
“I think you are ready for
it. Don’t you?” Elrond ran his hand up Erestor’s back and rested it at the nape
of his lover’s neck. “You have become more confident these last few weeks and
you have begun to touch me intimately.” The first time Erestor had wrapped his
fingers around his erection, Elrond had gasped with surprise, but he had
quickly relaxed, enjoying feeling his lover’s hands on him. “Are you ready to
make love to me?”
Erestor sincerely
considered the question before answering his lover. “I want to be.”
That was good enough for
Elrond, who cradled one of Erestor’s hands in his, guiding his beloved to their
bed. He had already pushed down the covers and lit several scented candles.
“Then be with me.” Lying down on his back, he pulled Erestor on top of him.
Although he already cursed the fabric between them, he knew better than to
disrobe them, preferring for Erestor to do that when the time felt right.
Erestor suddenly found
himself between Elrond’s thighs when the half-Elf parted his legs. His mouth
had gone dry and his hands trembled, caressing a strand of his lover’s hair. “I
was afraid this day would never come, but deep down in my heart I always
fantasized it would. Not with you beneath me, but…”
Elrond silenced his
rambling lover with a deep kiss, whilst running his hands through Erestor’s
thick mane. Seeing Erestor hover above him, his kind eyes searching his, made
him love the elder Elf even more. Erestor had suffered so much because of him
and he wanted to repay Erestor for those sacrifices. “I will love you forever.”
Erestor smiled warmly,
shifting experimentally atop of Elrond and involuntarily causing his lover to
groan. “What is it?”
Elrond moaned pitifully,
and then looked pleadingly at his lover. “My sweet, I am hard and you are
rubbing yourself against me. What do you think is happening?”
Erestor had the grace to
blush. “I should probably do something about that.” Kneeling between the
half-Elf’s legs, his fingers undid the buttons to the evening robe. Pushing the
fabric aside, he found Elrond naked beneath it; hard and already slick with
pre-ejaculate. “I do want you,” he whispered, but still his doubts remained.
Could he really do this? But Elrond had promised him that there wouldn’t be any
pain, just pleasure.
“I have already prepared
myself for you,” whispered Elrond seductively, raising a hand to caress
Erestor’s face. “Please,” he pleaded, gathering his lover’s hands in his,
placing them on his chest. “Put your hands on me… touch me…”
Erestor realized he had
reached a very decisive moment in his life. He could take a step forward and do
his best to please Elrond, or run away and hide from this intimacy for the rest
of his life. He loved Elrond too much to choose that last option. Slowly, he
ran his fingertips down Elrond’s chest, encountering hardening nipples. Letting
his fingertips ghost over them, they rose to full hardness.
“Ah, Erestor…” Elrond
purred like a cat, squirming beneath his lover’s touch. Looking deeply into the
chocolate brown eyes, he placed his hands on Erestor’s hips, wishing the other
Elf would remove his clothes.
But Erestor was mesmerized
by the play of muscles across Elrond’s abdomen and took his time to run his
fingernails gently over the skin. “You are still in a surprisingly good shape,”
he whispered absentmindedly.
“I try to spar with
Glorfindel whenever I can,” explained Elrond. “Does my body please you?”
“Yes, it does.” Erestor
blinked once, gathering an erect nipple between two fingertips to pinch it
slightly, closely monitoring his lover’s reaction.
Elrond arched his back at
the delightful manipulation. “More… again…”
Erestor rolled both
nipples between his fingertips and then leaned in closer, copying something
Elrond had done to him in the past. Placing his lips over one coppery disk, he
teased the nub with the tip of his tongue before suckling it gently. Elrond’s
response was immediate, causing the half-Elf to rub his lower body against him.
The knowledge that he was in complete control of their lovemaking convinced
Erestor that it was safe to remove his robes. Elrond wouldn’t ravage him like
when the half-Elf had taken his virginity. He was safe with his lover.
Elrond wanted to protest
when Erestor pulled back, but seeing the dark-haired Elf was disrobing, he
simply watched, entranced. “You are beautiful, lirimaer.” Experimentally, he
rested his hands on Erestor’s thighs, careful not to take control. The long
hair that now danced against Erestor’s back was decorated with tiny mithril flowers and butterflies, another gift from Elrond.
And the half-Elf loved seeing his lover wear them, making him marvel at the
change Erestor had gone through since their return to Imladris.
Erestor inclined his head,
accepting the compliment. “I will need you to guide me. I am not sure what to
do.” Looking at his lover’s naked body, he ran his hands up and down the long
thighs, still avoiding dealing with Elrond’s arousal, which stood proudly,
bobbing slightly.
“Why don’t you take the
time to explore? There is no reason to rush this.” Elrond had buried his hands
in the sheets, and was doing his best not to come yet. But feeling Erestor’s
hands all over him was quickly causing him to lose control.
Elrond’s fierce and
passionate reaction to his caresses baffled Erestor, but he didn’t let it stop
him from exploring his lover’s body. Moving into a straddling position, he felt
Elrond squirm beneath him, his lover’s erection rubbing against his abdomen. He
had never before been in charge of their lovemaking and wondered what to do. He
decided to follow his instincts, and rubbed the head of his lover’s erection
with his thumb.
“Ah, Erestor…” Elrond was
unable to hold back, now that he was finally feeling his lover’s touch and came
hard. Warm cream flowed from the slit onto his abdomen and Erestor’s fingers.
Erestor blinked in
surprise. “Elrond?”
“Oh, look what you did to
me,” mumbled Elrond in surrender. “I cannot even hold back long enough for you
to make love to me.”
“Did I…?” Uncertain how to
phrase this, Erestor gave his lover a questioning look.
“You caused me to lose
control… I want you so much… Need you so badly… Will you finally claim me?”
This was the best moment for Erestor to take him, as he was completely relaxed.
His lover would easily bury himself inside his body.
“Now?” Erestor was suddenly getting cold feet. It was one
thing to bring Elrond to orgasm, but to actually penetrate the half-Elf was a
completely different matter.
“Yes, now.” Elrond grabbed
a pillow and pushed it under his hips, elevating them. Whilst his right hand
used his own seed to coat Erestor’s erection, he guided his lover’s hard flesh
closer to his entrance. “I need you…”
Erestor nervously
moistened his lips and then nodded once. “I need you too.” Elrond’s right hand
guided him to his objective and when he began to slide inside, he carefully
monitored the half-Elf’s facial expression.
Feeling Erestor slowly
enter him was divine, but Elrond wanted more. Bringing his knees close to his
chest, he hooked his arms behind them, causing his lover to sheathe himself to
the hilt.
Erestor placed his hands
on either side of Elrond’s head, searching the gray eyes for any sign of
discomfort. But he found none. Finally convinced his lover was fine, he
swallowed hard, finding himself buried deeply in his lover’s body. “Now what?”
“Now you make love to me,”
said Elrond, smiling. He rocked his hips, hoping Erestor would pick up on the
hint and to his delight, his lover did. Soft lips took his in a bruising kiss,
and when Erestor thrust for that first time his lover rubbed his prostate, causing
delightful vibrations to hum through his body.
Erestor lost himself in
the kiss and the motions, thrusting shallowly, unwilling to accidentally tear
his lover. Elrond’s well-being was always in his thoughts, even whilst feeling
his lover growing hard again. Amazed that he could last this long, he curled
his fingers around the half-Elf’s erect member, timing the strokes he delivered
to the hard flesh to coincide with his thrusts.
Elrond chased his lover’s
tongue, suckling it in the end and when he felt the manipulation to his hard
flesh, he lost control again. Coming in his lover’s hand, he trembled with
passion, taking control of their kiss, and hoping he had succeeded in showing
Erestor how much he loved him.
The first spasm that
contracted around his member took Erestor by complete surprise. Involuntarily,
he stopped all motion, staring into Elrond’s dilated pupils. Elrond was smiling
at him in a silly way, obviously delighted that their lovemaking was this
passionate. Another spasm followed and Erestor groaned. Unable to support
himself any longer, he collapsed atop of his lover, who immediately wrapped him
in a solid embrace.
First his groin tightened
and then Erestor relaxed, finally finding release. Maintaining eye contact with
Elrond, he saw all the love the half-Elf bore him reflected in the cloudy orbs
and he stopped doubting their love, their union, and their passion. Kissing
Elrond lazily, he rode out the feelings of ecstasy that coursed through him.
Warmth spread throughout his body and he sighed blissfully. “Oh my, that was…”
Lacking the right words to express his feelings, he rolled them onto their
sides, realizing Elrond was carrying his weight, which had to be uncomfortable.
Elrond moaned his
disappointment, feeling Erestor’s sated member leave his body. “Yes… that
was…breathtaking.” Brushing some damp, wayward strands of dark hair behind
Erestor’s delicately pointed ear, he dotingly looked at his lover. “I think I
discovered a hidden talent of yours, love. You made me come twice.”
“I pleased you, then?”
Erestor purred, already reading the answer in Elrond’s eyes. He was relieved
himself, knowing he had made Elrond come and had found release inside his
lover’s body without causing him any pain.
“Yes, you pleased me --
greatly,” said Elrond, smiling giddily, “And in the future you may please me
whenever you want.”
Erestor rested his head on
Elrond’s shoulder. “Hearing you say that means a lot to me. I was so worried
that I would hurt you.” But in the midst of passion everything had felt right
and he had stopped doubting himself.
Elrond stroked his lover’s
back, feeling relaxation and ultimately sleep set in to claim Erestor. “We
finally completed the bond.”
“We already did… when you
bound yourself… to me,” whispered Erestor fatigued. The tension that had been
building inside him and the fear of hurting and disappointing Elrond finally
faded away, leaving him exhausted.
“But not physically.”
Elrond placed a kiss on top of his lover’s hair and listened to Erestor’s
breathing, which became slow and steady with sleep. “Sleep now and dream of our
future together. Galadriel can no longer chain you and your heart is finally
free to love and be loved.” Elrond closed his eyes, cuddled closer to Erestor
and surrendered to sleep as well.
Beta read by Sulien,
thanks!
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Heart in
Chains
Part 41
The End / Epilogue.
“
Erestor’s eyebrow arched
in warning, which urged Elrond to quickly secure the reports he was working on,
putting books, rocks –basically everything he could find on the papers—before
his daughter swept into the room, pretending to be fighting some unknown enemy
with her wooden sword.
“
“Be careful now!” Erestor
smiled, seeing his daughter’s energetic lunge and caught the stick between his
hands, quickly removing it from Indlîrien’s hands. “You have to be more careful
indoors.”
Indlîrien giggled at him and
then unceremoniously sat down on his lap, after picking up an apple from
Elrond’s desk, and setting her teeth in it. “He will also teach me how to
defend myself! Then I can finally get back at my brothers!”
Elrond smiled at his
youngest daughter. Arwen had hoped to make a miniature lady out of her at this
tender age, but her attempts had failed. Indlîrien was a free spirit, who loved
to roam the woods, swim in the Bruinen and she brought home all kinds of
injured animals. She was absolutely a handful. He still remembered his sons
coming to him to complain about Indlîrien on one particular occasion. She had
sneaked off with their clothes and boots whilst they had been bathing in the
Bruinen, causing them to walk back home naked and frustrated. She moved soundlessly
and seemed intent on causing problems wherever she went. The twins of course
blamed it on their father’s genes.
“Did you study with Master
Camfael today, as you promised you would?” asked Erestor, trying to undo the
tangles in his daughter’s raven hair. Her mischievous gray eyes suddenly turned
worried.
“I tried, but he fell
asleep on me.”
“Oh dear, what did you do
this time?” Elrond wondered how Arwen and Indlîrien could be so different. Not
even the twins had been such a menace!
Indlîrien shrugged once.
“I might have dropped a sleeping potion into his tea.” She gave Elrond a
stunning smile and her arms went around Erestor’s shoulders, hugging him tight.
As far as she was concerned she had the best parents in the world. And Haldir was
cute too. She liked the silver-haired Elf a lot. If only Glorfindel would stop
being so grumpy when she was around! She was only a small Elfling, only sixteen
years old, -- eight in human years -- and she was allowed to act like one!
“You must stop slipping
Camfael sleeping potions.” Erestor tried to act stern with his daughter, but
the charming smile on her face told him that he had failed. He just couldn’t be
angry with her, and she knew it.
Still hugging her father
tightly, she placed a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek and then slid off his lap.
She now moved toward Elrond, looked up at him and cocking her head. She had
learned how to easily wind them around her little finger years ago and usually
they let her get away with a lot of mischief. “Elladan offered to take me
riding on his horse today… Can I? Please,
Elrond found himself
nodding involuntarily, and before he could tell her to be careful, she was
already running out of the room. A bundle of bright, loving
energy; that was what she was. She might get into trouble occasionally,
/and which Elfling does not?/ but she always made
things up to her ‘victims’ with hugs, kind words and smiles.
“Her childhood is so
different from mine,” whispered Erestor, the words involuntarily slipping from
his lips, remembering Feanor and his sons. “She seems happy here.”
“She *is* happy here,”
corrected Elrond gently, knowing how important it was for Erestor to see his
daughter this carefree. “Are you happy here too?” Deserting his reports, he
rose from behind his desk and walked over to Erestor. Straddling his lover’s
hips, he purred, rubbing his groin against Erestor’s.
“Oh, you know I am happy
here because you make sure I am,” said Erestor teasingly, placing his hands on
Elrond’s hips. Smiling, he rested a hand at the column of his lover’s neck,
pulling Elrond close so he could easily claim the half-Elf’s lips in a
possessive kiss.
Elrond sighed, surrendering
to his lover’s passion. Erestor had come a long way these last sixteen years
and had turned out to be quite a passionate and attentive lover, who had long
lost his fears when it came to taking the initiative where their lovemaking was
concerned. Elrond still remembered those first, awkward nights, when Erestor
had gingerly touched him, but he had always kept his promise, letting his lover
be in control in the bedroom.
“I want you,” purred
Erestor, running his hands down Elrond’s back, wishing the fabric wasn’t
separating them.
“’Tis
the middle of the day,” teased Elrond, “and we should be working. Thranduil’s
letter needs a reply, these reports must be studied, and—“
Erestor’s lips silenced him and he sighed, loving the fact that his
lover was taking the initiative. Erestor had taken charge in many ways. Erestor
and he worked together on a daily basis, as the elder Elf had become his chief
advisor over the years. Once Erestor had gained more confidence and grew used
to speaking freely, Elrond had learnt that his lover’s council was wise and
constructive. But Erestor also still worked in the Healing House, training the
young apprentices alongside Camfael. Erestor had become a vital part of his
life. But he loved to see Erestor most in the capacity of his lover and parent
to Indlîrien.
At one point they had
discussed the possibility of having more children. It had been Erestor who had
hesitantly brought it up, but Elrond had been averse to the idea. Erestor had
nearly died after giving birth to their daughter and Elrond refused to risk his
lover’s life again. It helped that they had found an herbal potion that kept
Erestor from conceiving. The first time they had made love after Erestor had
drunk it, they had both been unable to relax and enjoy their lovemaking and for
the next few weeks they had been edgy. When it became apparent that Erestor had
not conceived, they had felt relieved.
Looking at his lover now,
Elrond was reminded of the first time that Erestor had offered himself to him.
Erestor had shaken like a leaf, but he had been determined to do this and
Elrond had eventually given in. He had made sweet love to Erestor, slowly and
patiently, taking his lover on his side to prevent any tearing, as he couldn’t
thrust as deep in that position. And once Erestor had found release, screaming
his lover’s name, the dark-haired Elf had done away with his fears. “In what
way do you want me?” asked Elrond, licking his lips and rubbing his lower body
against Erestor’s arousal, which was apparent through the fabric of the
leggings his lover wore today. The shirt, loosely laced, revealed parts of his
shoulder and chest, and Elrond nearly drooled at the sight of it, wanting to
run his hands all over his lover’s body.
“I want you to take me…”
Erestor caressed his lover’s face. “I want to feel you inside me. It took me a
while to enjoy that sensation, but now I want it more than anything else. I
want our bodies to be one.”
“Not here,” panted Elrond
softly. “The bed is more comfortable.”
“So we *are* going to
desert our work?” Erestor grinned wickedly.
“Oh, I know exactly whom
our daughter gets her mischievous streak from,” teased Elrond, brushing his
lover’s brow with his fingertips.
“Do not try to blame this
on me,” teased Erestor, enjoying the caresses his lover bestowed onto his skin.
“You had a very large part in getting me pregnant.”
“Oh, I know,” moaned
Elrond, hungrily attacking Erestor’s lips. Even after all these years he still
couldn’t get enough of his lover. Reluctantly, he let go of Erestor’s lips and
got to his feet again, pulling his lover along. “To the
bedroom, then.”
Erestor smiled, following
eagerly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indlîrien frowned deeply,
finding Haldir and Glorfindel – her Haldir! – kissing! She bit her bottom lip,
keeping herself from kicking Glorfindel’s shin, as she had promised herself to
behave for her parents’ sake. Pouting, she left the corridor and headed for her
parents’ chambers. She had been given a room of her own two years ago, when she
had complained about having to live in a nursery. Her rooms were next to her
parents’ and had a connecting door, which she now used to enter.
Giggles, groans and a loud
purring echoed through the room and intrigued, she tracked down its source. She
wished she still had her sword -- well, wooden stick really -- to attack any
fierce creatures that might be hiding in her parents’ bed. But she was more
than willing to face Orcs, or Balrogs, barehanded. Glorfindel had once joked
that even a Balrog was no match for her. The poor demon would probably run for
his life upon seeing her sway her wooden sword at him. And now there were
things moving about in her fathers’ bed. She could see some movement beneath
the sheets and dark hair was sticking out. Deciding she had to tackle this
danger now, she climbed onto the bed and punched the wriggling shape.
“Ai!” Erestor’s eyes widened. He had felt that blow,
delivered to his kidneys! Quickly, he pulled down the sheet to see who had
dared to invade their rooms. Shocked, he stared into Indlîrien’s gray,
wondering eyes. “Oh, my.” This was bad. He was riding
Elrond, the half-Elf’s hard flesh still rubbing against his pleasure gland and
he was about to come hard. But now Indlîrien was staring at him, eyebrows
arched in a way usually only Elrond could pull off. Unexpectedly, Elrond raised
his hips, thrusting into him. Erestor bit his bottom lip as ecstasy swept
through him. His lover’s fingers, wrapped around his member, were covered in
his cream. “Aiya, Indlîrien… what are you doing here?”
Elrond, still hidden by
the sheet, froze in his movements, but it was too late. Erestor’s inner muscle,
contracting around his member, pushed him toward orgasm and he bit his bottom
lip, trying hard not to call out his lover’s name. /Yes, in Elbereth’s name,
what *is* she doing here?/
“
Erestor desperately tried
to compose himself, but it was hard, sensing Elrond had come inside him. When
they had first made love with him on the receiving end, Erestor had been
stunned to learn how much pleasure could be found in the act and he always
savored the feeling of Elrond finding release inside him. But now he couldn’t
give in to the sensation, not when Indlîrien was staring at him and…”No, do not
do that!”
She had grown tired of his
silly grin and had lifted the sheet, breaking out in a huge grin, finding
Elrond beneath Erestor. “
Elrond released a groan.
“No, you cannot play this game with us, little one. When the time comes you
will find someone to play it with, but not yet.” Elrond grabbed the sheet and
covered himself, signaling for Erestor to move as well. Slipping out of his
lover’s body, he quickly covered himself up.
Erestor had grabbed a morning
robe, lying on the foot end of the bed and wrapped the fabric around him. He
couldn’t help but grin, seeing his daughter’s expression. She was clearly
puzzled by their behavior and they should expect questions for the next few
days. “Move over, love.”
Elrond made room for his
beloved, who now spooned up behind him. Opening his arms, he invited Indlîrien
to move into them, which she promptly did. She tried to reach for Erestor as
well with her tiny arms. They had to either be more careful, or tell Indlîrien
about the birds and the bees, but he felt she was still a bit too young for
that. /We will have to be more careful in the future./
Looking at Elrond,
Indlîrien was reminded of catching the two blond Elves kiss. “Haldir and
Glorfindel were kissing,” she said smugly, entrusting her big secret to them.
“They were?” Elrond
sighed. It was a miracle Indlîrien hadn’t caught anyone in the act before.
“They love each other,
don’t they?” Indlîrien felt a little sad at that, wishing Glorfindel wouldn’t kiss
Haldir at all.
“Yes, they do,” replied
Erestor, knowing Elrond wasn’t good at dealing with these delicate matters.
“They are married, just like your father and I are.”
Indlîrien’s eyes widened.
“Why don’t they have children, then?”
Erestor sighed. He should
have known that question would follow. “I told you before, not every male Elf
can have babies.”
“But you can!” exclaimed
Indlîrien victoriously. “You had me!” Erestor had shown her the scar, so she
would know how she had been born. In spite of her tender age, she had sensed
old pain in his words and expression, but had not commented on it. Seeing a
hint of that pain in his chocolate brown eyes now, she reacted the only way she
knew how. Leaving Elrond’s embrace, she climbed over the half-Elf, and wriggled
in between them, finding a new nest in Erestor’s arms.
Elrond sighed, realizing
Indlîrien was determined to stay, and rolled onto his other side so he was face
to face with his lover. Indlîrien’s back was now toward him, as his daughter
was staring at Erestor.
“Are you going to make a
brother or sister for me?” Indlîrien looked expectantly at Erestor.
“I told you before that we
are not,” replied Elrond in Erestor’s place. “And you already have Elladan,
Elrohir and Arwen as siblings.”
Indlîrien, disappointed at
being denied, gave Erestor a weak smile. “Maybe Haldir and Glorfindel can try
harder?” Her next question took both adults aback. “And just how *exactly* are
babies made? You never told me!”
Elrond cleared his throat.
“We will cover that topic later, when you are older.”
Erestor gave Elrond a
pleading look. /What do we do now?/ They had to
distract her or she might decide to start questioning them on their activities
beneath the sheets upon her arrival.
“Maybe Arwen will provide you
with a play mate in time?” suggested Elrond.
“Arwen can have babies
too?” Interested in this development, Indlîrien rolled onto her back so she
could also look at Elrond. “
“But did you not tell me
that Elladan will teach you how to ride a horse?” Elrond smiled, seeing her
eyes sparkle. She had always been fond of horses, especially Asfaloth and
Tirith.
“Yes, he did.” Indlîrien,
tired after running about all day long, looked at her fathers. It was always so
hard to decide whom she wanted to snuggle up to the most. This time, it was
Erestor. Wrapping her tiny arms around him, she rested her head against his
chest. “Sleepy now…” she whispered, quickly falling asleep.
“Thank the Valar for
that!” groaned Elrond.
Erestor laughed softly at
hearing his lover’s comment. “She is your daughter too! Always remember that!”
Elrond gave Erestor a
thoughtful smile. “My other children are rather well-behaved. She is this
wicked because she takes after you!”
“I am not wicked!”
“Oh, but you are…” Elrond
traced the outline of his lover’s lips with his fingertips. “You were
definitely wicked when you took yourself and then rode me like a wild stallion
you needed to tame.”
Years ago that comment
would have rendered Erestor speechless and made him blush, but now he laughed
warmly. “Love, it was you who broke me in, gained my trust and tamed me sixteen
years ago.”
“Aye, I did.” Careful not
to wake their daughter, Elrond leaned in closer to kiss his lover. “And I am
eternally grateful you allowed yourself to trust me – to love me.” He was happy
– no, *they* were happy.
Their hearts were wrapped
in chains of their own making, chains of love and devotion. Exactly the way
they were supposed to be.
The End
November 2003