Title: Live and Learn
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing: Glorfindel/Hephaistion (Elrond/Erestor)
Rating: PG-13 (audience goes 'what?' and is shocked!)
Summary: Hephaistion needs to adjust to his new surroundings and begins to
learn just how different his life in Imladris will be from his life with
Alexander.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their owners. Glorfindel and Vairë belong
to Professor Tolkien's and Hephaistion belongs to himself (and Oliver Stone, I
guess.)
Warnings: Alternate Universe/ Crossover
Author's note: Beta read by Patricia Pleasant and DA, thanks sweeties!
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Live and Learn
Erestor's right eyebrow rose to a height it had never ascended to before as he
exited Elrond's bathroom, where his lover was still tidying his hair. It had
been his intention to leave for their study right away, but he had halted in
his tracks to take in a most unexpected sight. Why was there a naked man
sleeping on their bed?
"Elrond, would you care to explain this to me?" Erestor stepped back
into the bathroom and cocked his head questioningly.
"What, my love?" Elrond finished fixing his hair by slipping his
favorite butterfly clip into it. Erestor had given it to him after they had
made love for the first time. Elrond sighed deeply as he recalled how their
first time together had been a rather nervous encounter. Erestor had never been
with a male before and had therefore been tense, while Elrond's last time with
a male had been with Gil-Galad millennia ago. It was during their first time he
had once more been reminded of just how different making love to a male was
compared to making love to a female.
"What is amiss, Erestor?" Elrond recognized the expression in his
lover's eyes and the arched eyebrow to mean that he was in trouble. Elrond just
didn't know why.
"Something happened." Erestor took hold of Elrond's elbow and pulled
his lover into their bedroom. "*That* happened, to be precise." With
his other hand, he pointed at the man sleeping on their bed.
Elrond blinked, gasped, and then blinked again. "Erestor, I do not know
who he is or how he got there! I have never seen him before!" The man was
a stranger to him. The fact that a man – not another Elf! – had somehow found
his way into their bed stunned him. There was no denying that the man was
handsome, and very naked, but still a stranger. "What are we supposed to
do?"
"You are Imladris' ruler. You decide." Erestor gave his lover a
wicked grin. "Can you rule out that this is the twins' latest prank?"
Elrond nodded his head once. "Aye, they know better than to overstep any
boundaries I set in the past. My rooms are off-limits to them and they know
it!" It was the only way he had managed to secure some privacy for Erestor
and himself. "Maybe this is Glorfindel's doing?"
Erestor shook his head. "Nay, not Glorfindel. He has been rather silent
and withdrawn lately."
Elrond nodded. "He has changed. When he came to us he was full of life,
energy, and the twins had found a perfect accomplice in him, but that has
changed. Nowadays, I hear him sigh and see him stare blankly into the distance.
If I did not know any better I would say he is suffering from a broken
heart." Elrond approached the man that was sleeping on the bed. He was
muscular and had long, powerful legs. His arms were strong enough to easily
wield a sword and a most sinful smile lay on those red, pursed lips. "I
can not explain this!"
Suddenly, the man opened his eyes and Elrond was struck as he saw how
incredibly expressive they were. They held the man's very soul. A scream left
the stranger's lips and Elrond moved forward with the intention to soothe him.
"You are safe here…" he stated soothingly, wondering what to add in
order to calm the stranger. A second, slightly higher-pitched yelp left the
man's lips and this time, the stranger pushed himself into an upright position.
Crawling backward, he ended up with his back pressed against the headboard.
Where was he? What had happened? The last thing Hephaistion recalled was dying.
What should have been a lonely and depressing demise had changed when he had
received two unexpected visitors. He had felt attracted to Glorfindel and had
clung to him during his last moments. One moment he had been dying and the
next, he had been falling through the air, only to wake up here.
Two dark-haired males stood near the bed and studied him with eyes which seemed
too probing...too inquisitive. They were dressed in robes which were adorned
with writing and symbols he had never seen before. He was definitely no longer
in Babylon -- he realized that much when he happened to cast a look out the
window and saw water tumbling down a rocky cliff.
"Where am I? Who are you?" Hephaistion eyed the two males again and
wondered about the long hair they sported that had been braided and was
carefully held together by pins and clips. They looked at him with the same
wonder he felt toward them.
"My name is Elrond and this is Erestor. Who are you?" Elrond inched
closer and stood at the foot end of the bed. His lover remained at a distance
though.
Erestor studied the stranger closely, but could find no clues towards the man's
identity.
"My name is Hephaistion… Where's Glorfindel? And Vairë?" Those were
the names he remembered and he hoped the two males recognized them.
Elrond swallowed hard. "Vairë? Glorfindel?" It looked like he might
be right after all. Somehow, Glorfindel was involved. But why had the stranger
used the Weaver's name in the same breath as Glorfindel's?
"Yes, she said I was going to live here with Glorfindel and his
friends." Hephaistion gulped as he suddenly realized that he was naked and
pulled the sheet over his trembling body so he was no longer exposed to their
probing glances. "Where is he?"
"I will send for him," Erestor answered and made his way over to the
doorway. He called one of the servants to him and instructed the young Elf to
fetch Glorfindel. Then he closed the door and joined Elrond again. "How do
you know Glorfindel?"
Hephaistion felt confused. He had only just died and it was hard to sort out
his thoughts and emotions. He didn't know what to make of his current
situation. "He came to me during my last moments. I was dying and did not
want to die alone. Suddenly Glorfindel and Vairë were in my room and Glorfindel
was holding me. I died in his arms."
Elrond blinked and Erestor quickly placed a supportive hand at the small of his
lover's back. Erestor was under the impression that their guest was telling the
truth. He couldn't make out any lies in the blue eyes. "Where are you
from?" Erestor asked. "You are not from Arda, are you?"
"Arda? I have never heard that name before. I was born in Pella and died
in Babylon." Hephaistion ran a hand through his tangled hair and tried to
understand what was happening. "Where is this? Where am I?" It didn't
look like he had entered the Elysian Fields.
"This is Imladris," Elrond answered, having somewhat recovered from
his initial shock. "It is a safe haven for all Elves."
"Elves?" Hephaistion's head shot backward and he stared at them with
big eyes. He noticed their pointy ears for the very first time. "What are
Elves?"
Elrond sat down and prayed for Glorfindel to arrive quickly so his Captain
could explain the situation to him. "We are the Firstborn. We…"
Elrond paused, wondering how he could possibly explain Arda, creation, Ilúvatar
and all the races that inhabited Middle-Earth. Something told him not to
confuse Hephaistion any further at the moment. "We are friends," he
said eventually.
"Friends," Hephaistion repeated the word in a relieved voice. Silence
descended onto the room and the three males continued to eye each other
closely.
"Elrond? You sent for me?" Glorfindel knocked on the door to Elrond's
rooms, wishing his friend hadn't sent for him since he needed to find
Hephaistion. He had assumed that Vairë had transported Hephaistion to his
chambers, but they had been empty when he had checked them. How was he supposed
to search the Last Homely House when Elrond required his presence?
"Glorfindel, please enter." Elrond watched Hephaistion's reaction
when the man heard Glorfindel's voice and saw the recognition in the blue eyes.
"Glorfindel…" At that time, Glorfindel was Hephaistion's only hold
and he couldn't wait for the golden-haired one to enter.
Glorfindel opened the door, stepped inside, and was about to ask Elrond
permission to continue his search when he noticed Hephaistion sitting pressed
back against the headboard of his friend's bed. "Hephaistion?" What
was the man doing here?
"Glorfindel! By the gods, I am happy to see someone I know!"
Hephaistion felt dazed, confused, and lost. "Please tell them that I
present no threat!"
Glorfindel blinked and then looked at Elrond. "He is a friend… He presents
no danger to us."
"Glorfindel, I demand an explanation!" Elrond watched as Glorfindel
made his way over to the bed and then sat down on the side. Glorfindel's
fingers immediately curled around Hephaistion's and the man moved closer to the
golden-haired Elf, but one hand kept the sheet in place. For some reason, he
seemed self-conscious about his current state though Elrond had no idea what
Hephaistion should feel insecure about. "Why is Hephaistion in my
bed?"
"I do not know why… I assumed Vairë would bring him to my rooms."
Glorfindel gave Hephaistion a reassuring smile, gently squeezed the trembling
fingers, and felt relieved as he sensed Hephaistion's body warmth. This was no
corpse.
Hephaistion was alive again, breathing in air, and his heart was once more
pumping blood through his veins. Then Glorfindel noticed something else. The
scars that had marred the handsome face earlier were gone. The auburn hair
seemed thicker and the eyes more alive. It was as if he was looking at an
improved version of the man. He was almost tempted to brush back the strands to
check if the ears had grown pointy, but one quick glace told him that the form
hadn't changed. "You are in Imladris now."
"Your…friends… told me as much." Hephaistion drew in a deep breath
and tried to concentrate on his changed situation. He had always been able to
adapt quickly to a new situation, but his death – and his 'rebirth' – had
staggered him.
"His name is Elrond," Glorfindel supplied. "And that is Erestor,
his lover." Glorfindel ignored the look Erestor gave him. "Together,
they rule Imladris… Although Elrond is her official Lord, it is Erestor who is
in charge."
Elrond cringed and Erestor chuckled. Elrond couldn't lecture Glorfindel because
his friend *had* spoken the truth. It was Erestor who always managed to get his
way, even if Elrond had opposed a decision initially.
Hephaistion's eyes widened momentarily as he realized that Elrond and Erestor's
relationship mirrored the one he'd had with Alexander. Alexander ruled in name,
but Hephaistion had made all the necessary decisions and had basically made
certain everything was in order. But somehow, the dynamics between Elrond and
Erestor seemed different. There was nothing subdued in the way Erestor was
rubbing Elrond's back or when he gave his lover a possessive look. Had these
two managed to create a relationship based on equality? Something that had been
missing from his relationship with Alexander.
Glorfindel realized it was time to take charge. "Why do I not take you to
my rooms so we can talk in private? You can familiarize yourself with your new
surroundings after you have rested."
Hephaistion nodded his head thankfully. "I would like that very
much." Being in this position was new to him. Elrond ruled there and he
wondered if they needed his permission in order to leave, but Glorfindel didn't
seem bothered and simply ignored the ruler. Hephaistion quickly wrapped the
sheet around his body since he had no desire to flaunt his nakedness in front
of them.
"I will arrange for appropriate clothes to be brought to your rooms,"
Erestor suggested while judging that Hephaistion's build was similar to
Elrond's, who was built slightly sturdier since he was Half-Elven.
"Thank you, Erestor." Glorfindel resolutely removed his outer robes
and draped the heavy, emerald-colored fabric across Hephaistion's shoulders. He
was still wearing a under tunic and didn't mind sharing his clothes with
Hephaistion, who looked uncomfortable. Glorfindel steered Hephaistion toward
the doorway.
Hephaistion allowed Glorfindel to guide his steps since he was a stranger
there.
"I hope you will join us for dinner later," Elrond called out,
belatedly realizing that he was the host. "I would like to know you
better."
"*We* would like to know you better," Erestor corrected his lover.
"Aye, of course...*we*." Elrond shot his lover an amused look.
"We will be there." Glorfindel saw Hephaistion's questioning
expression and nodded quickly. He trusted Elrond and Erestor to be able to deal
with the situation at hand. They would do their best to make Hephaistion feel
welcome. "We should go now."
Elrond opened the door and Glorfindel led Hephaistion into the corridor.
"Come with me," he whispered into Hephaistion's ear. "I will
take you to my rooms." Hopefully Hephaistion would feel more at ease there.
"And then we will talk about what happened."
Hephaistion nodded his head. Yes, he desperately needed to talk to Glorfindel.
He had to find out what had happened after he had died.
Elrond and Erestor watched them go. Erestor's hand once more rested at the
small of the half-Elf's back and he rubbed the skin through the fabric. It was
his preferred way to establish physical contact between them when they both
needed to feel the connection they shared. "It seems that life as we know
it in Imladris is about to change," Erestor mused aloud.
Elrond sighed and nodded his head. Erestor was right of course – his lover
always was.
~~~
"Make yourself comfortable." Glorfindel refrained from steering
Hephaistion toward the bed since he wanted the man to decide himself where he
wanted to sit down.
Hephaistion scanned his surroundings and found them much to his liking.
Glorfindel's rooms were spacious. The white walls had been decorated with gold
and vases filled with flowers stood scattered through the room. Near the window
stood a large four poster bed which sported four large, ebony posts. The furs
atop of the mattress reminded him of home, but Hephaistion decided against
sitting down on the bed. Instead, he headed for a comfortable chair which stood
near the balcony. As the balcony doors were open, he had a spectacular view of
the valley once he had seated himself.
Imladris appeared to be the opposite of Babylon. There were only a few
buildings and they weren't as pompous as the buildings in Babylon had been. Although
Elves were moving about, they walked without haste. It was like his life had
slowed down and he was now watching everything happen in slow motion –
Hephaistion liked that.
Glorfindel pulled a second chair close and seated himself opposite Hephaistion.
"You must have hundreds of questions."
Hephaistion nodded once. "You are right – I have many questions, but I
don't know which one to ask first." His gaze shifted from the tranquil
valley to Glorfindel's smiling face. "I understand that this place is
called Imladris and that Elrond rules here with Erestor at his side. You are
Elves, but… What does that mean?"
Glorfindel reached for the carafe filled with miruvor on the side table and
filled a glass with the potent drink. He handed it to Hephaistion, who gave it
an experimental sniff. "It will help you clear your head and strengthen
you. It might smell and look like wine, but it is not. It is called
miruvor," Glorfindel explained.
Hephaistion took an experimental sip and smiled when the liquid slid down his
throat. It warmed him from the inside – and by the gods, he had needed that.
"I am an Elf, aye," Glorfindel started, carefully picking his words.
"It means that I age very slowly and will live forever, providing no one
ends my life in a violent way." He didn't think it would be wise to tell
Hephaistion just yet that he had died once. That information could wait.
"Forever?" Hephaistion sipped more of the miruvor, needing it to calm
himself down. Surprised, he realized that he had already emptied it and placed
the now empty glass aside.
"Aye, but we can discuss that later. We should talk about you first and,
more importantly, your death." Glorfindel pushed his chair closer to
Hephaistion and carefully gathered the man's trembling hands in his. They felt
cold and Glorfindel rubbed the digits in an attempt to warm them. "What do
you remember about dying?" He didn't remember his own death. Aye, he knew
what had happened, but he had no memories of the event. They had been erased by
the Valar.
"I remember not wanting to die alone." Hephaistion gave Glorfindel a
puzzled look. "And then you appeared." Cocking his head, he added,
"You seem familiar to me. It feels like we have met before, but I can't
recall when."
Glorfindel swallowed hard now that the moment of truth had come. "We did
meet once before."
"We did?" Hephaistion frowned, trying to remember.
"It happened during your twenty-first birthday. You had gone to bed
feeling lonely…" Glorfindel cringed when Hephaistion's eyes widened with
memory. "You thought I was Alexander when we made love." Glorfindel
instantly chided himself for being so blunt. He should have been more subtle,
but it might be best to just end this. "I fell in love with you that night
and have been yearning for you ever since."
"That was you? But…? It is impossible! Alexander came to me that night! I
know it was him! And not you! I would have known the difference!"
"Nay, you *thought* I was Alexander. Vairë arranged for it in that
way."
Hephaistion bowed his head, drew in a deep breath, and tried to make sense of
what Glorfindel had just told him. "It can not have been you. It was
Alexander." But the truth was that night had been different from all the
other nights they had been together. Alexander had acted odd during that one
night and Hephaistion had chalked it up to his lover wanting to spoil him on
his birthday.
"I know this might be hard to accept, but Alexander did not leave that
meeting during the night. I made love to you and, when I told you that I loved
you, I meant it. You touched my heart that night, Hephaistion. Vairë thinks it
is the very reason why you can exist in my world. Somehow, a connection formed
that night." Glorfindel wished Hephaistion would look at him so he could
read the emotions in those eyes. "Can it be that you fell in love with me
as well? That night?"
"I am in love with Alexander!" Hephaistion finally raised his head
and stared at Glorfindel. "I love Alexander!" But it sounded like a
lie, like he was desperately trying to convince himself of something that
wasn't true – something that hadn't been true for years. "Yes, that night
was special, but it was not you… It can not have been you!"
Glorfindel moved closer still and released Hephaistion's hands from his hold.
He rested his hands on either side of the handsome face and looked deeply into
those blue eyes. "Search your feelings and you will know I am speaking the
truth."
Then it suddenly hit Hephaistion – the eyes… Alexander's eyes had been
midnight-blue that night and not brown. He had attributed the change to the
passion Alexander must have felt, but now he finally realized the truth.
"It was you." And the sad thing about it was that it had been the
best sex he had ever had. "Your set your own needs aside and concentrated
on me."
"You seemed to need that."
Glorfindel's words catapulted Hephaistion's thoughts back to that night.
"You said the same thing after I came."
Glorfindel smiled and let his fingertips trail along Hephaistion's pronounced
jaw line. "I gathered that it was mostly Alexander having his needs met
and that yours were being neglected. I wanted to change that. I wanted to give
you a night you would remember forever."
"And you succeeded in doing just that." Hephaistion and Alexander had
made love after the night he had shared with Glorfindel, but those encounters
had never compared to that one night of passion that he had shared with
Glorfindel. Each time Alexander and he had made love, something had seemed
lacking and Hephaistion had wondered what had changed between them since that
night. Now he finally had his answer.
"You love me? Still?" That night had happened twelve years ago. Could
love really last that long without diminishing in the process? Alexander's love
for him had faded throughout the years and the King had taken countless other
lovers, both male and female, and had visited his bed only sparsely.
"Aye, I do." Glorfindel rubbed Hephaistion's cheek with his thumb and
nodded once to stress his admission. "I am still in love with you."
"And I am here now…" Hephaistion closed his eyes and concentrated on
feeling the caress Glorfindel was bestowing onto his face. "I wonder how I
can exist in your world, considering I died."
Glorfindel slid his fingers into the auburn hair and waited for Hephaistion to
open his eyes. When those pools of blue finally looked at him, he replied,
"This world is different from yours. I was returned to this world as well.
I died many years ago and was reborn again."
"You died?" This was too much information to take in all at once and
Hephaistion's head reeled. "How can this be? How can I be sitting here in
your rooms? How is it possible that you can touch me?" Hephaistion laughed
in a strange way as his feelings finally overwhelmed him. "I am dead,
Glorfindel. I should be dead! He left me alone in my hour of death! The so
called love of my life left!"
"I am sorry he did." Glorfindel finally did what he had wanted to do
from the start. He wrapped his arms around Hephaistion's form and pulled the
man close. Hephaistion deserted his chair and somehow, they ended up clinging
to each other with Hephaistion straddling his hips and returning the tight
hold. Glorfindel held him close and stroked the dark hair. Hearing a soft
sobbing sound, he realized that Hephaistion was crying.
"I understand that this is a lot to take in. I never expected for this to
happen either, but I am glad it did. I am glad you are here now…in my
arms." Glorfindel inhaled Hephaistion's scent deeply and memorized it in
the hope that he would smell it for the rest of his life.
But at the moment, his future lover was sobbing against him and Glorfindel
started to gently rock the distressed man. "Give it time. Give yourself a
chance to accept what has happened and to grow used to your new
existence."
"That is not why I am crying…" Feeling embarrassed for letting go in
such a way, Hephaistion pulled away and managed to wipe the tears from his
eyes.
"Then why are you weeping, Hephaistion?" Now that Hephaistion had
raised his head away from his shoulder, Glorfindel had a chance to study the
swimming eyes. "Is it because you had to leave Alexander behind? Do you
regret accepting Vairë's offer?" He didn't think what had been done could
be undone. That wasn't the way of the Valar.
"No, that is not it." Hephaistion managed to calm down, but kept his
arms tightly folded around Glorfindel's waist. "I feel like I betrayed
Alexander. Our relationship might have deteriorated toward the end, but…
Glorfindel, I only just realized that I had cheated on him twelve years
ago!"
Glorfindel shook his head determinedly. "Vairë and I tricked you. Well,
Vairë suggested giving you that night of passion and I did not deny her. I was
a willing accomplice. You were under a spell and thought Alexander had finally
come to your bed. You are not to blame."
Hephaistion looked dazedly into Glorfindel's eyes. "I did betray
Alexander. I betrayed him in so many ways! I betrayed him twelve years ago when
I lay with you! I betrayed him in all the other nights that followed because,
when we were having sex, I was thinking back to that one night and how gentle
you had been." Hephaistion shook his head, feeling utterly confused.
"I did not know of course that it was you and not Alexander who had been
with me, but I could not help comparing all the other times we had sex with
that one night."
Glorfindel felt flattered and blushed, but at the same time, he realized that
Alexander hadn't been the lover Hephaistion deserved. "You said your
relationship deteriorated toward the end?"
Hephaistion lowered his gaze and fixed it the ends of Glorfindel's hair.
"We had arguments and never managed to resolve our differences. Toward the
end, he had become a very hard man to please. I no longer satisfied him in bed,
for he took other lovers and seemed to forget about me. I do not know what
happened. Maybe toward the end we started to drift apart. I was running the
empire for him and…"
Glorfindel had heard enough and placed a finger against Hephaistion's lips so
he could silence the man. "You left that life in the past. A new era has
started for you, one which you will spend at my side, as my lover – as my
mate."
Hephaistion abruptly raised his head and remembered something Vairë had said
after he had been in-between death and this new life. "You accepted me as
your mate."
Glorfindel nodded once. "I took a mate once before – in my first life –
and he died. I did my best not to fall in love again as I do not want to suffer
such heartbreak ever again, but you slipped through my defenses."
"Glorfindel, I do not know if I am ready yet to be a mate to you… I just
died… And I need to deal with the fact that Alexander is no longer a part of my
life…a life which I will lead here in Imladris and not in Babylon."
"I understand." Glorfindel rested his brow against Hephaistion's and
savored looking into the expressive eyes. Hephaistion's emotions, his soul, and
his thoughts resided in those eyes. "You have all the time you need. We
will take this slow. First, you will rest and once you have done so, we will
join Elrond and Erestor for dinner."
Hephaistion moistened his lips, something he always did when he felt anxious.
"I do not know them."
"And they do not know you. Can you think of a better reason to have dinner
with them? They make pleasant company, Hephaistion. Trust me, you will like
them."
Hephaistion sighed and nodded once. "I will do as you ask of me. Right
now, I trust you to know best. I feel lost." Glorfindel was his only hold
and he clung to the other warrior.
Glorfindel guided Hephaistion's head onto his shoulder, tightened his hold on
the distressed man, and held him close until Hephaistion gave into exhaustion
and fell asleep against him.
~~~
An hour later, someone softly knocked on his door and since the sound didn't
awaken Hephaistion, Glorfindel whispered, "Enter." He had a feeling
it might be either Elrond or Erestor, both wanting to check on Imladris' newest
addition. His instincts were right and he smiled at Elrond when the half-Elf
opened the door and peeked inside. "He is still asleep," Glorfindel
stated the obvious and gestured for his friend to approach.
Elrond soundlessly closed the door behind him and advanced. Draped over one arm
he carried several pieces of clothing which Erestor had thought might fit
Hephaistion. He placed the clothes on the bed and then walked over to
Glorfindel. "You have been stuck in this position for how long?"
Glorfindel smiled at Elrond. "A little over an hour, but I do not mind.
Everything that happened lately has exhausted him." Hephaistion stirred
against him, but didn't wake up. Instead, the sleeping man rubbed his cheek
against Glorfindel's shoulder, moaned, and pressed closer.
"He would be more comfortable asleep on the bed."
"Nay, I do not think so. He chose to go to sleep straddling my lap."
Glorfindel enjoyed holding Hephaistion close. For twelve long years he had
longed to have Hephaistion close and now that it had finally happened, he was
determined not to let go again. "I will let him sleep a little longer and
then wake him before dinner."
"Glorfindel, we know nothing about Hephaistion. Are you certain we can
trust him?" Elrond's first responsibility was toward Imladris and her
people.
"He will be a true asset to Imladris, Elrond. Trust me on this."
Elrond nodded once. "I trust your judgment. You never let me down before,
Glorfindel." Elrond smiled at his friend and then headed toward the
doorway, but before opening the door, he looked at Glorfindel from over his
shoulder and added, "I do not know Hephaistion, but I can tell you that he
is in a state of shock and needs time to adjust to his new life here. Give him
time, Glorfindel. Feed him little bits of information. His mind needs to grow
accustomed to his new surroundings *slowly*."
Glorfindel understood perfectly. "Do not fret, Elrond. I will take my time
with him. We will go slowly." Glorfindel waited for Elrond to close the
door behind him before pressing a chaste kiss onto Hephaistion's hair. "A
whole new world eagerly awaits you when you wake up again."
~~~
Hephaistion woke up an hour later and felt disoriented initially. His first
conclusion to seeing the blond strands of hair teasing his face was that he was
sitting on Alexander's lap, but then, all the recent events returned to him and
he realized it wasn't Alexander holding him, but Glorfindel.
That realization caused a storm of emotions to break loose inside of him.
Alexander and he had grown apart that much was true, but now he wondered if
that hadn't been his fault mostly. After all, he had cheated on Alexander that
night with Glorfindel. And he had never forgotten how wonderful making love had
been that night… How cherished, precious, and wonderful he had felt. He
trembled and buried his fingers in the fabric of Glorfindel's under tunic.
The nervous gesture wasn't lost on Glorfindel as he realized his charge had
woken and most likely felt anxious. It was up to him to deal with Hephaistion's
nervousness and to make their situation less awkward. "Hephaistion, please
look at me?"
Hephaistion shivered, but then raised his gaze and looked into Glorfindel's
calm eyes. Their openness had a soothing effect on him and his shivering
lessened. The things he read in Glorfindel's eyes assured him that he was
wanted there...that Glorfindel wanted him in his life. Somehow, this was an
amazing concept – Glorfindel wanted him where Alexander had grown tired of him.
"How long did I sleep? You must have been uncomfortable, being trapped
this way." A blush spread across Hephaistion's face and he was amazed that
he grew so easily flustered in Glorfindel's presence. He felt young again....it
felt so new!
"You slept for two hours and believe me, they were two hours I will
cherish forever. I like holding you." Glorfindel was surprised to see
Hephaistion's blush deepening. It almost seemed like Hephaistion wasn't used to
being complimented. "Do you not believe that I enjoy your presence?"
Hephaistion lowered his gaze and his tension deepened when Glorfindel asked him
that question. "It has been a while since someone said something that
flattering to me."
Glorfindel didn't want to address this right now, but realized he had no
choice. "What happened between Alexander and you?"
"We grew apart," Hephaistion answered, shivering once more. "He
became King of the known world and somehow, we lost that connection that had
always bound us so tightly together. We had arguments and, instead of making up
by making love, he ignored me. I waited for him to come to my room, but he
never did."
"There is more." Glorfindel knew how to read between the lines.
Hephaistion sighed and gave in. "It started when he took a lover called
Bagoas. I had told Alexander that I did not mind him taking a lover,
but..." Hephaistion peeked at Glorfindel's eyes. "But deep down in my
heart I thought it should just be us – exclusively. I never took another
lover…except for that one night and back then I did not know it was you."
"Alexander no longer abided the rules." Glorfindel began to
understand. "He wanted more."
"He always wanted more, Glorfindel." Hephaistion blinked as he
realized that he had spoken the Elf's name aloud, making Glorfindel even more
real to him. "And I wanted what he wanted, but there came a time when I
thought it was enough. But Alexander's ambition drove him on."
Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. "Your life here will differ greatly from
the one you led in your world. There is no war here." At least, not yet,
but it was only a matter of time before Sauron would prepare for the final
battle for Middle-Earth. "Imladris is at peace and the only quarrel you
might witness is between Elrond and Erestor or the twins."
"The twins?" Hephaistion looked questioningly at Glorfindel and only
then fully realized how close the other male was...how warm the expression in
his eyes was, and how inviting those lips were.
"Elrond's sons."
Hephaistion blinked and then frowned. "But… I thought Elrond and Erestor
were…lovers?"
Glorfindel smiled at Hephaistion's confusion. "They are lovers now, aye.
But before that, Elrond was married to the Lady Celebrían and she gave him
three lovely children: the twins, both boys, and one lovely daughter. Elladan
and Elrohir are still here in Imladris, but Elrond's daughter, Arwen, resides
with her grandparents. Celebrían left Imladris after she was viciously attacked
and sailed to Aman, where she has hopefully healed." Glorfindel nodded.
"I know it is a lot of information to take in. You do not have to memorize
it all, Hephaistion."
"I will try to remember it all." Hephaistion raised a shaky hand and
ran his fingers through Glorfindel's fair hair. "I find it hard to believe
that I am here – in your world. I should have died." Hephaistion had let
go of some of his emotions when he had cried earlier, but he still felt like he
could burst into tears again at any given moment.
"Why am I this emotional?" Hephaistion slowly freed himself of
Glorfindel's embrace and pushed himself to his feet. He stood a bit wobbly and
grabbed hold of Glorfindel's outer robes before they could drop onto the floor.
He still didn't feel comfortable yet being seen naked – not even to Glorfindel,
who had seen him naked before.
Glorfindel remained in his chair, giving Hephaistion the space the man so
obviously needed. "You are emotional because you died, Hephaistion. You
expected to die, aye, but you did not think you would live again. Everything
has changed for you." Glorfindel coughed diplomatically. "Vairë
believes that the one night we shared created some sort of bond which allows
you to exist in my world and that is why you are my mate now. We are connected
in a way I never experienced before."
"You hardly know me!" Hephaistion spun around and stared at
Glorfindel. "How do you know I will make a good mate?" And why did
Glorfindel keep using that impossible word? A mate… That word entailed a great
many things, like devotion, dedication, and trust – not to mention
unconditional love. Things he had wanted with Alexander, but they had never
succeeded in building such a relationship. He had done most of the giving while
Alexander had been content to do more taking than Hephaistion had been willing
to give. Their relationship had become unbalanced and, although Hephaistion had
realized that, he had been unable to stop it. Alexander had become too used to
taking what he needed and that had been Hephaistion's fault as well. He had
allowed for it to happen.
Now Glorfindel *did* rise from his chair and covered the distance between them.
Studying Hephaistion's eyes, he saw self-doubt, fear, and hope there. Elrond
had been right: he needed to tread carefully at the moment. "Hephaistion,
that night I saw your soul in your eyes. It showed me that you are a warm and
caring person. I want you to know what I thought that night. I thought that you
were just the sort of person I could fall in love with...and I did."
"But you do not know me! We made love once! That is it!"
Glorfindel raised his hands and rested them on Hephaistion's upper arms so he
could keep the increasingly nervous man in place. "Then why not go on this
journey together, Hephaistion? You do not know me either...did that not occur
to you?"
Hephaistion bowed his head and drew in a deep breath. "You are right; I do
not know you. This is madness. What made me say yes to her proposal? Why did I
say yes to this life here?"
"Aye, why did you say yes to me?" Glorfindel's right hand moved and
came to rest against Hephaistion's cheek. The man gingerly lifted his head and
looked at him. Glorfindel gave him a small smile. "Answer that question,
Hephaistion. Why did you say yes?"
Hephaistion quivered as Glorfindel's attention focused solely on what he was
going to say next. He had to speak the truth – Glorfindel would see through any
lies. "Do you want to hear the complete truth?"
"Aye, but not while we are standing out here. It is cold and you are
shivering." Glorfindel guided Hephaistion toward the bed and pulled him
along as he sat down. He reached for the furs and wrapped them around the
shivering man. "Now you can tell me."
Hephaistion pulled his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around
them. He avoided looking Glorfindel in the eye and stared at the wall instead.
"I do not know why…"
"Then try to find out." Glorfindel moved further onto the bed, sat
cross-legged, and placed one hand on Hephaistion's shoulder. "You owe it
to yourself to find that answer."
Hephaistion knew Glorfindel was right, but he wasn't certain he was ready yet
to face certain truths about himself.
"I am sorry if it hurts, but you have to do this." Glorfindel
couldn't allow Hephaistion to hide his feelings.
Hephaistion rested his chin atop of his knees and closed his eyes. Maybe it
would be easier to do if he didn't have to look at Glorfindel. "That night
changed everything for me. I thought Alexander had become the lover I always
wanted him to be. I thought that maybe another more dedicated Alexander had
been hiding beneath the surface for a long time. That night gave me hope."
Glorfindel shifted closer and wrapped an arm around Hephaistion.
"Continue."
"That night… That night we made love… real love…and I wanted for it to
continue. I always hoped that the Alexander who had made love to me that night
would surface again, but of course, he did not." Hephaistion finally
opened his eyes and cocked his head to look at Glorfindel. "When you told
me that it had been you and not Alexander that night, I realized I wanted to
experience those feelings again. You made me feel so good. You made me
feel…worthy of being loved."
Glorfindel swallowed hard – a lump of emotions had formed in his throat upon
hearing Hephaistion's last words. "But you are worthy of being loved!
Hephaistion…" Words failed him then and anger rose where Alexander was
concerned. It angered him that Alexander had made Hephaistion feel like he
didn't deserve to be loved!
Hephaistion shrugged his shoulders. "You cannot really say that – you do not
know me."
Glorfindel's eyes widened. "Hephaistion, the little I *do* know about you
tells me that you are very easy to love and I intend to prove that to you. I am
not Alexander. I am Glorfindel and I will make you see the truth."
"Bold words," Hephaistion replied in an attempt to make light of
Glorfindel's words that should have sounded like a sweet promise, but had
sounded like a threat to him instead. In a way, he had come to believe that he
didn't deserve to be loved in such a way. Alexander had never said so, but the
King's actions had sent a specific message – one which Hephaistion had
effortlessly picked up and explained in his very own way.
Glorfindel realized he had to stop pressuring Hephaistion and decided on a
different tactic. "What would you prefer, Hephaistion, to sleep some more
and take a bath later or to explore Imladris a bit?" Hopefully the
question would not only distract Hephaistion from his brooding, but also make
him realize that he did have choices.
Hephaistion looked Glorfindel in the eye. "I do not feel comfortable
enough yet to show my face to the people who live here, but a bath sounds good
to me." It might help him relax and gain a better perspective on his
current situation.
"I will fill the tub for you." Glorfindel regretted letting go of
Hephaistion, but in the end, he released the man from his hold. At exactly that
moment a storm of words erupted above their heads.
"We must invite Thranduil for the upcoming festivities, Elrond! You cannot
simply ignore him! And think of the joy it would give Legolas to visit Imladris
again! Stop being so stubborn!"
"Erestor…" Glorfindel whispered his friend's name fondly and pointed
at the balcony above their heads where Elrond's rooms were situated. "They
must have left their study early."
"Erestor, Thranduil hates me and you know it! His presence would make
everyone feel uncomfortable!"
"Nay, Elrond, his presence would make *you* feel uncomfortable. No one
else would mind his presence!" That was Erestor's voice again,
contradicting the half-Elf.
"They are fighting." Hephaistion cringed as he remembered the
increasing number of fights Alexander and he had been in. As the King,
Alexander had always had the last and decisive word in a matter and Alexander
had often used that right to his advantage, causing Hephaistion to lose an
argument even though his reasoning had been the best!
"They are merely bickering! Trust me, there is a difference between
arguing and bickering and those two love to bicker!" Seeing the distraught
expression in Hephaistion's eyes, Glorfindel decided to re-establish his hold
on the man and rested an arm around Hephaistion's waist. "Just wait and
see." He knew how these 'arguments' tended to end!
"Elrond, you need to do what is best for Imladris – for our people!"
Hephaistion sighed deeply. Erestor's reasoning sounded wise to him, but he knew
that Elrond had the last say in the matter.
"Erestor, I…"
It was obvious to Hephaistion that Elrond had wanted to continue to speak, but
suddenly everything went quiet and he gave Glorfindel a worried look.
But Glorfindel merely smiled and answered, "Just wait a little
longer."
A moment later, moans came floating down from Elrond's balcony and then
Hephaistion heard, "You always know how to get your way, my dear Erestor.
You are most wicked."
"Admit it Elrond...that is just the way you like me." Erestor's voice
had become liquid and a loud purring left the Advisor's lips. "Invite
Thranduil. You know you will enjoy having Legolas here."
"You win…" Elrond had never stood a chance and he had known that from
the start, but he loved to bicker with Erestor. "Shall we make up
now?" Making up was his favorite part where the bickering was concerned.
"You want to make amends, do you? Let me see if I can think of a way for you
to earn my forgiveness." Erestor chuckled softly and pulled Elrond back
into their rooms.
Once the two Elves had retired to their bedroom, Hephaistion could no longer
hear what they were saying. "They eventually agreed." That surprised
him. What also puzzled him was the way in which Elrond had so easily given in
to his Advisor. Alexander would never have done so.
"I suspect the reason why they love to bicker is because they can make up
afterwards. You will hear them bicker a lot, Hephaistion, but they seldom mean
it. It is a game...a game which they both know the rules to and, as far as I
know, no one has ever gotten hurt. They love each other. They would rather lose
an argument than really hurt their lover." Just by looking into
Hephaistion's eyes Glorfindel could tell that things had been very different
between Alexander and him. "Alexander never gave in?"
"I always did. After all, he was the King." Hephaistion frowned and
tried to accept what Glorfindel had just told him. Apparently Erestor and Elrond
were a couple who had managed to make things work out, even when one of them
was a ruler and the other just a subordinate.
"Just be grateful that they went inside or we would have had to listen to
their moaning all afternoon." Glorfindel wiggled an eyebrow. "I have
been subjected to it…"
Hephaistion had grown more comfortable during their conversation and felt
confident enough to tease Glorfindel a little. "And what did that do to
you?"
Hephaistion's question surprised Glorfindel, but in a good way. "It made
me hard," he answered, giving Hephaistion a meaningful look. "And I
thought of you when I brought myself to orgasm."
With the question backfiring on him, Hephaistion blushed. But when Glorfindel
had admitted to doing that, he felt he had to be honest as well. "I often
thought back to our night together when I touched myself."
Glorfindel suspected Hephaistion had touched himself in that way during many
lonely nights and he cursed Alexander again. "Would you like to take that
bath now?" he asked, thinking Hephaistion might want to change their
subject now that it had become so personal that he was blushing.
"I would like that very much." Hephaistion watched Glorfindel closely
when the golden-haired Elf leaned in closer to kiss his lips. Sparks flew the
moment their lips locked and Hephaistion felt electrified. He was instantly
hard and felt shocked at his passionate response, but whatever had formed their
bond during that night they had made love was still there and maybe it had
grown even stronger in time.
Glorfindel experienced the same emotions and wanted nothing more than to carry
Hephaistion to his bed, lay the man down, and worship his body before
passionately claiming him, but Elrond's words returned to him. He had to take
things slowly. "Come with me, Hephaistion."
Hephaistion was content to follow where Glorfindel led...for now that is.
Things might change a bit in the future, if Glorfindel would allow for it.
Surprised, he noticed that Glorfindel was guiding him to the bed and not the bathroom.
"Sit down for a moment. I need to instruct the servants to fetch hot
water."
Curiosity overcame Hephaistion and he asked, "Do you keep slaves
here?"
Glorfindel shook his head. "Nay, we never did. Elves do not believe that
one man can own another man, at least not in that way. Things might be a little
bit different though when two people are in love."
Hephaistion nodded as he understood what Glorfindel was trying to say. "At
times it felt like Alexander owned me."
Glorfindel was quick to answer. "Nay, I did not mean it that way!" He
had been on his way over to the doorway and turned around to look Hephaistion
in the eye. "When loves feels right, you feel like you belong with someone
– not *to* someone. There is a difference." Hephaistion still had a lot to
learn – things which Alexander had failed to teach his lover because he hadn't
understood how a relationship was supposed to work himself. "You will
learn to understand." Glorfindel opened the door, called out to a servant,
and requested the hot water. After the servant had assured him that they would
deliver it within the next few minutes, Glorfindel returned to the bed and sat
down next to Hephaistion. Maybe it was time to share some of his personal
history with the man. "I told you that I had a lover once. His name was
Ecthelion and I knew right from the start that he was the one for me. We loved
like we lived – passionately. We learned to understand each other's needs and
to anticipate them. When he needed me, in whatever way that was, I was there
for him and he did the same thing for me. That is what I mean when I said that
if love feels right, you feel like you belong."
Hephaistion smiled warmly at Glorfindel. "I agree. I always thought love
should be like that as well." But with Alexander, things hadn't.
Hephaistion had given so much of himself that in the end little had remained of
him.
Glorfindel nodded his head once. Something told him that Hephaistion
understood, but the man still had to experience love in *that* way. At least,
they had taken a step in the right direction now that they had talked.
~~~
Hephaistion enjoyed taking his bath. Glorfindel had added lovely bath oils to
the water and he soaked until his skin began to feel dry. That was when he
realized he needed to leave it.
Glorfindel had given him his privacy and Hephaistion appreciated that. He had
needed that. When he had realized that his scars were gone, he had been stunned
and had run his fingertips over the smooth skin. There was a mirror in the
bathroom and, after leaving the now cool water, he stood in front of it,
studying his appearance. All of his scars were gone and he looked younger. He
didn't just *look* younger though, he *felt* younger – more energetic, more
himself. He had lost track of who he was during the last few years when
Alexander's demands had worn him down. He had started to behave in a way which
he knew would please Alexander and wouldn't trigger another temper tantrum.
Somewhere down that road, he had lost a part of himself and now he faced the task
of finding himself again.
"Hephaistion? These robes should fit you." Glorfindel had waited for
an hour before entering the bathroom. He figured that Hephaistion would want
some privacy and had refrained from intruding. He took in Hephaistion's naked form
and sighed appreciatively, seeing no reason to hide his attraction. "The
Valar have been kind to you. They erased all marks from your body and made you
younger… and stronger." He walked over to where Hephaistion stood and
smiled at the man in the mirror. "You look just the way I remember
you."
Hephaistion turned around and looked at Glorfindel. Searching the eyes, he
found nothing but sincere attraction in them. This time, he didn't blush. He
simply accepted Glorfindel's words as the truth and raised a hand to run his
fingers through the fair hair. He loved how soft it felt.
Glorfindel smiled and leaned into the caress. "I would love to take this
further, but we should not do that. Not yet. Not before you have had a chance
to truly realize and accept what has happened to you." However, Glorfindel
*did* indulge himself by kissing Hephaistion's plump lips. "Dress yourself
and then join me on the balcony again." They still had an hour left before
they were expected to join Elrond and Erestor for dinner.
Hephaistion accepted the clothes and watched Glorfindel turn around and leave.
Glorfindel resembled Alexander in appearance, but to Hephaistion that was where
the resemblance ended. Glorfindel had a stable personality, was grounded, and
content with his life. Those were things Alexander had never mastered. Being
Glorfindel's lover would greatly differ from being Alexander's, and Hephaistion
fervently hoped he wouldn't disappoint Glorfindel.
~~~
Hephaistion felt awkward when he stepped upon the balcony. The robes were long,
warm, and felt good against his skin, but they did make him feel
self-conscious. He wasn't used to wearing something this elegant.
Glorfindel smiled at his lover and extended a hand. Hephaistion took it and
Glorfindel proceeded to pull him close. "All that you are missing now are
pointy ears," he commented and chuckled.
Hephaistion smiled warmly. "I still need to get used to seeing them on
you."
Glorfindel rested his hands on either side of Hephaistion's head. The dark hair
was still damp from the bath. Hephaistion had made an effort to brush his hair
and to rid it of the tangles, but the hair was a bit unruly and seemed to have
a life of its own. Maybe he would teach Hephaistion how to braid it later – or
he would do it himself. He would welcome any reason to slide his fingers
through the dark mane. "Are you ready to join our friends for
dinner?"
Hephaistion shrugged his shoulders. "I hope they will like me. I really
want them to like me," he murmured, revealing his nervousness and
insecurity. "I want to fit in, Glorfindel." He had never really fit
in with Alexander's Companions, who had remained jealous of him. "I want
to blend in." Glorfindel's brilliant smile took him aback and he sighed,
realizing only too well that he had fallen in love that night as well, even
though he had done his best to deny it.
"Do not fret, Hephaistion. They will like you." It was beyond
Glorfindel why Hephaistion would worry about fitting in. He knew Elrond and
Erestor well enough to know they would like Hephaistion and treat him kindly.
They would come to care for Hephaistion like Glorfindel already did. "Just
be yourself and you will have made two new friends by the end of this
evening."
"Do you really believe so?" Hephaistion wanted that – he wanted to
befriend everyone he could. He had been alone for a large part of his life and
he wanted things to be different in this life.
"I do." Glorfindel wished he could take away the insecurity
Alexander's behavior had instilled in Hephaistion, but that was something
Hephaistion had to do himself.
The end
(TBC of course in a sequel when I have time!)