Title: Lonely In Love.

Author: Morgana  morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon/

Pairing(s): Glorfindel/Elrond, Glorfindel/Ecthelion, Erestor/Ecthelion and Elladan/Elrohir.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Valar deem the time ready for Ecthelion to return to Arda. Erestor is given the task of preparing the young warrior for a life in Imladris.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, fluff, romance, minor angst. Twin slash (implied)
Author’s Note: Not beta read. All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

 

  

Lonely in love

The night will fade, the sun will shine
A new day - Lonely in love
And light the way for you to find

New love

 

Lyrics by Crimson Glory

 

 

Part 11

 

Elrond had retreated to his study with Erestor in tow. The two dark-haired Elves had made their way inside in silence and had both settled down in the comfortable chairs, set in front of the fireplace. The silence remained for at least one more hour and no one dared interrupt them. Elrond knew darn well that his sons, advisors and even servants had noticed that he was upset.

 

Erestor seemed as disconcerted as he was, and Elrond lifted his eyes to look upon his Chief Advisor, who had finally come home. Studying the brown eyes, he found them swimming with tears. The long, agile fingers jerked occasionally and then hid in the long sleeves of his midnight-blue robes.

 

“You are in love with Ecthelion?” Elrond had read all signs correctly, and although he was hesitant to believe he had reached the right conclusion, it was the only thing that explained Erestor’s crestfallen expression.

 

Erestor jerked awake from his musings and his startled eyes met Elrond’s. He quickly averted them, but knew he had already given away too much. Elrond *knew*.

 

“You *are* in love with him,” stated Elrond, now with more confidence. “I do not understand this. Explain it to me.”

 

“Explain?” Erestor raised an eyebrow. “What is there to explain? I fell in love with him that very first week.”

 

Elrond blinked. “Then why did you bring him here? You must have known you would lose him to Glorfindel.” His own heart ached with pain for Erestor, knowing exactly how the other Elf was feeling, for he was suffering in the same way. “Why didn’t you stay in the Gray Havens?”

 

“The time had come for Ecthelion to face his past – and his future,” added Erestor after a moment’s thought. Finally meeting Elrond’s gray eyes, Erestor cleared his throat and added, “I always knew I would have to set him free and I made a promise to do so three years ago.”

 

“You were braver than me,” whispered Elrond, wringing his hands.

 

“My Lord…”

 

“Do not call me that,” said Elrond, firmly, “You never did before.”

 

“Elrond,” said Erestor, starting again, “You knew Ecthelion walked on Arda once more. Why did you take Glorfindel for a lover then? You knew that this day would come, just as I did.”

 

“As I said before, I am not as brave as you are.” Elrond tiredly rubbed his brow, suddenly looking as old as he really was, no longer possessing that ethereal Elven beauty. For one moment, his mask cracked. “I lived in denial, Erestor. I told myself it would last forever and that Ecthelion would never come to Imladris.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Maybe I even convinced myself that he would choose me over Ecthelion.”

 

“Denial? That does not sound like you,” said Erestor, pushing his chair a bit closer to Elrond’s. “What happened during my absence?”

 

Elrond’s eyes glazed over and became misty as his mind traveled back in time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Glorfindel, please calm down,” whispered Elrond, “You are in Imladris, and you are quite safe.” He managed to wrap his arms around the struggling form and slowly pulled Glorfindel against him. Rocking the golden-haired Elf, he made reassuring sounds, which had always calmed his children in the past. Hopefully they had the same effect on Glorfindel. “It is a dream – a nightmare. Wake up, my friend.”

 

It took Glorfindel long minutes to calm down and to awake from his horrid nightmares. Gondolin had been afire and Ecthelion as well. He had seen the Balrog drag Ecthelion down with him, and although the spiked helm his lover wore had penetrated the Balrog’s body, slowly killing him, the evil creature had found a way to take Ecthelion down with him.

 

“Nay! Stay!” The nightmares still had a tight hold on him and Glorfindel in turn clutched tightly to the form holding and rocking him, allowing himself to believe Ecthelion had returned and was now holding him. “Ecthelion?”

 

“Nay, I am not he,” said Elrond in a choked voice. “It is I, Elrond.” Every time Glorfindel called out for Ecthelion, his heart broke a bit further. “But I have you now, Glorfindel, and I will keep you safe.” A strange expression appeared in Glorfindel’s azure eyes – one, which Elrond couldn’t label correctly – and he frowned, wondering what was going on in the blond’s head. “The nightmare is over now.”

 

“I thought you were Ecthelion,” mumbled Glorfindel, still panting softly in an attempt to catch his breath and to calm down the frantic beating of his heart. “But you are not. You are Elrond.”

 

Elrond nodded once. Patiently, he waited for Glorfindel to fully return to the present. “It was a nightmare, my friend.”

 

Glorfindel managed a weak smile, finally realizing he was in the half-Elf’s arms, resting comfortably. /Very comfortably./ “Thank you for pulling me away from them.”

 

“You are more than welcome, Glorfindel.” Elrond realized the time had come to let go of Glorfindel now that the blond was coherent again, but he didn’t want to release his charge. For one year now, he had been in love with Glorfindel – secretly in love that was. After Celebrían had left for Aman, he hadn’t dared to hope he would fall in love again, but it had happened – slowly and almost unnoticed. He vividly remembered the morning when he had woken up with butterflies tickling his insides because he would have breakfast with the Captain. Glorfindel had somehow captured his heart and the warrior had never returned it to him.

 

“Do you fare better now?” inquired Elrond, forcing himself to release the still trembling form. “You seem calmer now.”

 

Glorfindel, once more thinking rationally now that the nightmare had left, noticed the loving expression in Elrond’s eyes. He had seen that expression before, but back then it had been directed at Celebrían and the children, but never at him. What did that mean? “Would you stay? I do not want to be alone again.” If he was alone, the nightmare would return to haunt him. “Please stay.”

 

Elrond’s mouth had gone dry at hearing that request. For one moment he had thought Glorfindel was stating a different request, but he quickly berated himself for thinking such a foolish thing. Glorfindel’s heart belonged to Ecthelion. It had so in the past, and it would do so again in the future. Ecthelion had been reborn. It would be folly to even believe he had a chance with the warrior! “I will make myself comfortable in a chair.”

 

“Nay!” Glorfindel grabbed hold of Elrond’s wrist, making certain the Lord of Imladris couldn’t leave. “Stay close.”

 

Elrond’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of his nervousness. “It is hardly fitting for me to stay in your bed.”

 

“I do not mind,” said Glorfindel, thoughtfully, now that Elrond was looking at him in that adoring fashion again. It couldn’t possibly mean what he thought it meant! Elrond couldn’t be in love with him!

 

“It is not proper.” Elrond desperately tried to find a way out of this situation, which could turn rather compromising later. His body would most certainly betray him if he slept in such close proximity to the one he secretly loved.

 

Glorfindel decided he’d had enough of Elrond’s elusive behavior and pulled the half-Elf against him. Facing each other, Glorfindel raised a hand and brushed a few knotted strands of hair away from the half-Elf’s face. The gray eyes darkened to black; he had only seen that happen before when Celebrían had been close to Elrond. All evidence pointed him into one direction; Elrond cared more about him than the half-Elf wanted him to know.

 

Searching his own feelings, he found he returned Elrond’s affection. The deep, slowly building love was firmly rooted in his mind. “Elrond?”

 

“Aye?” Elrond nervously moistened his lips. Glorfindel was so close, and the blond’s scent so intoxicating that it robbed him of his ability to think clearly. What was Glorfindel doing to him? Why didn’t the blond have mercy on him?

 

“I like having you close,” said Glorfindel, hoping his voice sounded calm and steady. The last thing he wanted was to chase Elrond away. In order to make certain Elrond had no means of escape, he folded an arm tightly around the half-Elf’s waist. Elrond gave him a puzzled look and Glorfindel smiled sweetly. Briefly, he considered addressing this attraction between them, but Elrond looked like he was about to run. He had to be careful.

 

“I am… glad you do,” whispered Elrond, rather breathless. /I like having you close too. I would enjoy kissing you even more./ In an unguarded moment his fingers found their way into Glorfindel’s fair hair, gently stroking the strands.

 

“I think I will sleep more peacefully now,” said Glorfindel, still smiling enchantingly.

 

“That is… good,” stuttered Elrond, wondering why Glorfindel was giving him such an intimate look. There was no other way to describe that expression, which made him blush and avert his eyes.

 

“Do not do that,” said Glorfindel, firmly. “Look at me.”

 

Elrond drew in a deep breath and met Glorfindel’s eyes. /He knows! Oh no, he cannot know! I was so careful!/

 

Glorfindel leaned in closer, slowly, very slowly, so Elrond had a chance to grow used to the feel of him and then brushed his lips against the half-Elf’s. “We should sleep now.”

 

“Sleep…” stuttered Elrond in confusion. Although it hadn’t been a kiss exactly, it had been sensual and intimate. “Glor…”

 

“Not now.” Glorfindel placed a finger across Elrond’s lips. “We will talk when Arien’s light has returned. We should not address this in the dark.”

 

“As you wish,” whispered Elrond, still stunned.

 

“Hold me now. Hold me until the morning comes and keep the nightmares at bay.” He snuggled up to Elrond, wrapping arms and legs around the half-Elf. After resting his head against Elrond’s shoulder, he released a deep sigh and then surrendered to a restful sleep.

 

Elrond held him close – this precious, precious charge.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“What?” Elrond was catapulted back into the present when the brush of soft fingers against his facial skin registered with him.

 

Erestor brushed the tears away with his fingertips. “I suspected you were attracted to him, but I never knew for sure.” Caressing Elrond’s face, he offered all the comfort, understanding and regret he could. “I never wanted to hurt you, my friend. But my hands were tied. I was under orders to bring Ecthelion here. But in your heart, you must have known Glorfindel would choose Ecthelion. I always knew Ecthelion would choose Glorfindel over me. That is why I refused him when he offered himself to me. He wanted to propose to me on the day he reached his majority. I told him the truth the day before that. I could not have lived with the lies or the look in his eyes when he found out I had deceived him by keeping this knowledge from him.”

 

“Again, you are much braver than I am,” whispered Elrond, leaning in when Erestor’s fingertips brushed his face. “I refused to think of what would happen should Ecthelion ever come to Imladris. It was a foolish thing to do; I know that.”

 

Erestor sighed, deeply. Elrond’s eyes were dry again, but tears still lurked in the gray depths. “What happened then?”

 

“With Glorfindel?” Elrond closed his eyes, trying to *feel* his memories, instead of just remembering them. “He made me tell him.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

/A picnic?/ Elrond felt somewhat apprehensive, seated opposite Glorfindel on a nice, comfortable blanket. The blond was busy unpacking the basket, placing all sorts of fruit onto the blanket. Next was freshly baked bread, cheese and even a carafe of wine complete with two glasses. His nervousness increased, finding Glorfindel was filling those glasses, whilst shooting him most suggestive looks. What was this about?

 

“Drink, my friend!” Glorfindel handed Elrond his glass and then sipped his own wine. He could tell that the half-Elf was nervous, clearly noticing the tense shoulders and alert eyes. /That is the last thing I want – Elrond nervous./

 

Last night had been a revelation to him and during the morning he had tried to make Elrond open up to him, but the half-Elf had proclaimed loads of paperwork awaited him and he had fled to his study. /Locking himself up in his study is more accurate!/

 

“Wine? At this early hour of the day?” Out of courtesy, Elrond sipped, but then he placed the glass on the ground next to him.

 

“Elrond, something has been on my mind lately and I want to discuss this matter with you.”

 

Elrond gulped for breath. /Nay, he cannot do this to me!/

 

“Last night I realized just how much I like having you close.” Glorfindel glanced at Elrond, coyly – even a bit seductively.

 

Elrond immediately lowered his eyes, almost gnashing his teeth due to his nervousness. /Do not do this, Glorfindel. Do not call me on my feelings for you will wreck our friendship. It is all I have left./

 

Elrond’s face was an open book to Glorfindel, who had known the half-Elf for much too long to not recognize the terror on the handsome face. “I find myself hoping that you like having me close as well.”

 

That wasn’t what Elrond had expected to hear. Forcing himself to reply, he said, “I do…” Biting his bottom lip in an attempt to do away with his feelings of insecurity he made certain he didn’t look Glorfindel in the eye.

 

“I also realized something else,” said Glorfindel, inching closer. “I would like having you close more often.”

 

Elrond’s heart jumped in hope at hearing those words. “You do?” Unable to control himself, he glanced at the blond. Glorfindel was smiling at him in a reassuring way and calm stared back at him from the azure eyes. “I would like that as well.”

 

Glorfindel raised his right hand and gently brushed Elrond’s dark mane away so he could rest his fingers at the nape of the half-Elf’s neck, softly rubbing the skin there. Elrond’s eyes widened and the half-Elf seemed to be holding his breath in anticipation. Realizing that he would have to take the first step, Glorfindel leaned in closer and placed a proper kiss onto Elrond’s trembling lips. The half-Elf moved closer, seemed to mould himself against him and sighed into his mouth.

 

Glorfindel allowed for a smug grin to surface when he finally broke the kiss. Pulling away slightly from Elrond, he studied the glazed eyes. “I feel the same way about you, Elrond. The attraction is mutual.”

 

Elrond’s heart missed a beat, and he swore it beat in a different rhythm after hearing Glorfindel’s admission. Now that the blond had made this admission, Elrond felt courageous enough to add his own confession. “I love you.” Saying those three, tiny words almost caused him to have a heart attack, as he was revealing so much of himself to the blond. “I have loved you for a year now.”

 

“Yet, you never told me,” said Glorfindel in a slightly chiding tone.

 

Elrond bowed his head, breaking eye-contact. “I know your heart belongs to Ecthelion.”

 

Hearing that name caused Glorfindel emotional pain, but he overcame it, and concentrated on giving Elrond a proper answer. “You are right; a part of me will always love him, but I also know that I need to move on. I cannot mourn a lost love for all eternity. I was given a second chance when I was reborn and I should make good use of it.” Elrond’s hopeful look almost caused tears to burst from his eyes, but Glorfindel brought his emotions back under control again. “I loved once before. I can love again. My heart is filled with love for you, Elrond.”

 

“You gained possession of mine a long time ago, Glorfindel. I always hoped you would keep it safe and now…” Lost for words, Elrond pleadingly looked at Glorfindel. “Fear kept me from telling you. I lost so many I loved… I am not certain I would survive losing you too.” In the back of his head a tiny voice warned him, reminding him that Ecthelion would reach his majority in three years. /You should not lie to Glorfindel!/

 

/I am not lying!/ replied Elrond. /I am merely not telling him – and I am not allowed to tell him at any rate! Mithrandir forbade it./

 

“Elrond?” Glorfindel cocked his head, moved even closer and wrapped his legs around Elrond, keeping him his prisoner. “You do not look very happy about this development.”

 

“I am scared,” admitted Elrond, freely. “I almost succumbed to grief when my wife left and I could not bear losing you.”

 

“You will never lose me!” stated Glorfindel, full conviction. “I will be there for you until the end of Arda – and even then, we will sail for Aman together.”

 

/You should not allow him to make that promise,/ said that little voice, warning Elrond. /He does not know about Ecthelion’s impending return, but *you* do. *You* need to do the sensible thing. Do not let him make that promise!/

 

Elrond bowed his head in defeat. “Do not make that promise, Glorfindel. You do not know what will happen in the future.” That annoying, little voice was right of course. He couldn’t let Glorfindel do this!

 

“But I want to promise you this! I love you, Elrond!” Glorfindel placed his hands on either side of Elrond’s head and forced the half-Elf to look at him. “I love you! And I will be loyal and faithful to you!”

 

“I refuse to accept that promise,” whispered Elrond beneath his breath, but Glorfindel never heard. When the blond leaned in closer to claim his lips again, Elrond let him and he surrendered to his beloved.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor’s heart had grown heavy, clearly sensing the underlying pain in Elrond’s voice, as the half-Elf continued his tale. “I am sorry,” he whispered when Elrond grew silent momentarily. “I am sorry I ruined your life.”

 

“You did not,” said Elrond, soothingly. Regaining his wits, he gathered Erestor’s hand in his, stroking the skin reassuringly. “I lied to myself. I should have accepted the truth – that Ecthelion would return. I should have refused Glorfindel.”

 

“But you did not.”

 

“I could not. I love him,” said Elrond, simply.

 

“We were given our choices and we made our decisions. Wrong decisions, and now we need to learn to live with them. We should find comfort in the fact that Glorfindel and Ecthelion at least are happy.”

 

Elrond blushed marginally when he looked at Erestor again. “Did you… Were you… intimate with…?” It wasn’t proper to ask this, but he had the feeling Erestor needed to talk about Ecthelion as well. Until now, he had done all the talking and he felt Erestor should have the opportunity to share his feelings as well.

 

Erestor gave Elrond a reassuring look. “Nay, we never took that step. I knew my heart would not survive if I did. I had to protect myself.”

 

“I gave in to my needs,” admitted Elrond in a choked voice, “I bedded him.”

 

Erestor’s fingers curled around Elrond’s, trying to offer support and comfort.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you certain you are ready to take this step?” Glorfindel tenderly brushed the naked skin beneath his fingertips. It had been weeks since they had admitted their love for each other and it had taken Elrond this long to find the courage to finally *really* share his bed with him. The fact that the half-Elf had never before been with a male had made Glorfindel act slowly, making certain Elrond was comfortable with their developing relationship. When Elrond had suggested they make love tonight, he had accepted, but had also told himself to proceed slowly and cautiously.

 

Elrond nodded once. His nervousness showed in the tremors that coursed through his body, and when Glorfindel rose above him in his naked glory, his hands became cold and sweaty. He knew what was about to happen and what to expect, but he had never done this before! “I want this,” he reassured his fair lover, “But… I am… nervous.”

 

“Trust yourself to me,” whispered Glorfindel, seductively, allowing the long strands of his hair to brush against his lover’s hard nipples. Elrond gasped and Glorfindel caught the bruised lips in a long and passionate kiss, letting his right hand travel down to the half-Elf’s groin.

 

Fingers curled around his hardened flesh and Elrond involuntarily raised his hips. This was a whole new experience for him and he trusted Glorfindel to take good care of him. The blond would never hurt him!

 

The kisses deepened and now there was tongue involved too, something which Elrond welcomed most eagerly. Wrapping his own tongue around Glorfindel’s, he tried to devour his new lover.

 

Elrond’s eagerness reassured Glorfindel, who stroked his lover’s hot flesh firmly. Elrond tensed underneath him in orgasm and hot cream dripped onto his hand. Finally, Elrond relaxed and Glorfindel gave his lover a longing look. Whilst Elrond was still in the throes of orgasm, Glorfindel reached for the vial with oil and coated his member with it. Sliding his hands beneath Elrond’s legs, he lifted them. He slipped into place between the long legs and positioned himself against his lover’s opening. Slowly, but determinedly, he penetrated the half-Elf, whose gray eyes now fastened on him in a mix of shock, pain and fulfillment.

 

The sensation was new, painful and unexpected. He reckoned Glorfindel thought taking him through this situation step by step would only cause him more stress and so the blond had simply opted for action. Biting his lip against the pain that washed through him, he grabbed hold of the sheet, clawing at it.

 

Glorfindel took great care to slide inside slowly, giving Elrond time to grow used to the invading sensation. Finally completely inside, he lowered himself onto the panting half-Elf and cradled him close. Kissing Elrond, he allowed for his tongue to trace the inside of the bruised lips and then he carefully thrust for the first time.

 

Tremors traveled through Elrond’s body when the channel was stretched to the maximum. A droplet of blood dripped from his lips, from where he had buried his teeth in the soft tissue. Trying to relax, he surrendered to the more experienced Elf.

 

Glorfindel thrust shallowly again and concentrated on finding that nub inside Elrond’s body that would make the pain fade and allow for pleasure to take over.

 

Elrond wrapped his arms around Glorfindel – needing the hold and to anchor himself – and buried his face in the crook of his lover’s neck. He had known there would be discomfort, pain even, but wasn’t it supposed to fade by now? Why else would males engage in this activity if there was only pain? Unwilling to disappoint Glorfindel, he moaned softly, pretending to enjoy the act as well.

 

But Glorfindel wasn’t misled and thrust again, this time more confident he was aiming for the correct spot. Elrond unexpectedly jerked beneath him and the channel loosened somewhat, allowing him to move more easily. Thrusting again, he tried to rub that sensitive spot as long as possible, drawing out the sweet sensation.

 

Elrond was literally seeing stars and had to close his eyes when the sensation threatened to overwhelm him. “Oh…” Moaning loudly, he raised his hips to meet Glorfindel’s thrust halfway. A wave of ecstasy washed over him and he threw back his head, not realizing he was baring his throat to his lover.

 

Glorfindel quickly made use of that and first kissed, and then nipped playfully at the sensitive skin. He would mark Elrond shortly, but not yet. He wanted Elrond to be on the edge when he buried his teeth in the half-Elf’s throat.

 

Elrond moved along with Glorfindel, at the mercy of each deeply penetrating thrust. He had never experienced anything like this and the sensation caused him to grow hard again. Suddenly, Glorfindel took hold of his hand and placed it on his member. Within seconds, Elrond found the right rhythm and he stroked his enflamed flesh, slowly finding his way to orgasm again.

 

Glorfindel carefully monitored Elrond and sensed the exact moment of release. Burying his teeth in Elrond’s skin playfully, he delivered one last thrust and then found release himself.

 

Elrond didn’t know what exactly made him faint. Was it the sensation of feeling his own semen splash onto his abdomen? The fact that he had come a second time within such a short time? Or was it feeling Glorfindel ejaculate inside him? Or maybe it was all those things together?

 

“Elrond!” Glorfindel’s eyes widened in alarm, feeling Elrond go limp beneath him. “Elrond!” Concerned, he watched the half-Elf closely. Once his member had softened, he pulled out. He continued to cover his lover’s naked body with his own, hoping the feel of him would bring Elrond back to awareness. It had been a long time since he had made love to someone. Ecthelion had been his first – and he had always thought also his last -- but not any more. Elrond was his lover now. /An unconscious lover!/

 

When the gray eyes finally opened, Glorfindel sighed, relieved. “Elrond? I…”

 

Elrond shook his head. “Do not you apologize, Glorfindel. It was perfect.”

 

“It was?” Glorfindel grinned, cheekily. “You deserve nothing less, you know.” He rolled off of Elrond and quickly established bodily contact again by folding his arms around Elrond. Glorfindel studied Elrond, who looked sated and quite debauched. “Love you…”

 

“Love you too.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Would you please leave me, Erestor? I need a moment alone.” Elrond abruptly rose from his chair and walked over to the window, where he stared at the now empty courtyard.

 

“Of course.”

 

Elrond waited for the door to close behind Erestor and then leaned forward, resting his feverish brow against the cool bricks of the wall. “I was a fool. Such a fool to believe… To believe that Glorfindel was mine. He never was and never will be.”

 

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