Title: Lonely In Love.

Author: Morgana  morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl
Pairing(s): Glorfindel/Elrond, Glorfindel/Ecthelion and Erestor/Ecthelion.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Valar deem the time ready for Ecthelion to return to Arda. Erestor is given the task of preparing the young warrior for a life in Imladris.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, fluff, romance, minor angst.
Author’s Note: Not beta read. All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

 

 

 

Lonely in love

The night will fade, the sun will shine
A new day - Lonely in love
And light the way for you to find

New love

 

Lyrics by Crimson Glory

 

Part 2

 

“You are really leaving!” Estel stared at Erestor in disbelief. He was the ‘youngest’ of Elrond’s children and it was only years ago that Erestor had stopped being one of his teachers. Therefore, he still felt attached to the gentle-hearted advisor, who had taught him how to read, write and the art of diplomacy, which Elrond had insisted he needed to master. “Must you? Can’t you stay?” He exchanged a pleading glance with Mithrandir, who had already mounted his horse and who was now waiting for Erestor to join him.

 

Erestor bit his bottom lip. “I wish I could stay, Estel, but I cannot.” Arwen’s hand unexpectedly found a way into his and she squeezed firmly. Their feelings, words and actions shown so openly, touched his heart, reminding him why he didn’t want to leave them in the first place. This was his home. They were his family!

 

“Erestor will return in time,” said Mithrandir, soothingly. “And who knows, maybe we can arrange for some visits.”

 

“Where are you going, Erestor?” Elrohir had taken hold of Elladan’s hand for support. He didn’t like it when changes took place in his life, and Erestor leaving Imladris was a huge change; one he didn’t know how to react to.

 

Erestor looked at Mithrandir. Was he allowed to disclose their destination to his friends?

 

“The Gray Havens,” said Mithrandir, directing a smile at Elrond. “If any of you decide to visit, please announce your intention first. Erestor might not be there permanently.”

 

“And what exactly is it that you are supposed to do there?” Elladan was suspicious for some reason. Why had Mithrandir chosen Erestor for this task? Surely there were other Elves who could carry out this duty?

 

Glorfindel felt the same way. Erestor was a good friend and he didn’t want to part from him! “Maybe I can accompany you?”

 

“No!” Mithrandir’s tone was a bit too urgent and the Maia regretted acting that impulsively. “Thank you for you kind offer, Glorfindel, but we will be quite safe.”

 

Glorfindel’s first reaction was to pout, but he then realized he shouldn’t waste these last few moments during which Erestor was still here with them. He reached for Erestor’s hand and rubbed the long fingers. “Please write? I would hate to lose contact with you.”

 

“Write to all of us,” said Arwen, softly. “We need to know how you fare.”

 

“I shall write,” promised Erestor, touched by the caring expression in their eyes. Glorfindel released his hand; allowing him to mount his mare. “I will miss you – each and every one of you.”

 

Arwen, who had managed to hold back her tears until now, failed, and her eyes released transparent droplets, which gracefully slid down her cheeks. She leaned into Elrohir, when her brother folded an arm around her shoulders, offering her the comfort she needed.

 

Elrond raised a hand in goodbye when Mithrandir pushed his heels into his horse’s flanks, steering the steed away from the courtyard.

 

Unable to keep his own tears in check much longer, Erestor followed Mithrandir, hiding his swimming eyes behind a curtain of ebony hair. Leaving behind the ones he loved, and who loved him back, was hard on him. He almost reconsidered and wanted to shout at Mithrandir to find someone else, but he had committed to this undertaking and couldn’t back out now. He successfully fought the urge to look over his shoulder and tried to erase the image that he had last seen from his retina – his friends waving goodbye and Arwen crying. He had to be strong now and concentrate on his new charge – Ecthelion.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You practically radiate restlessness and unease.” Mithrandir had hoped Erestor’s nerves would settle once they were on the road, but the advisor still acted edgy and nervous. Apparently, being away from Imladris was already taking its toll on the raven-haired Elf.

 

Erestor shifted closer to the fire they had built in the center of their improvised camp. Although neither Erestor, not Mithrandir felt the need to rest, their horses did, and they were now grazing and resting. Erestor’s gaze shifted from the campfire to Mithrandir. “I never wanted to do this.”

 

“What is it that you fear?” Mithrandir didn’t want to pry, but it was important he knew what troubled Erestor. The advisor had no idea just how big a part he was going to play in Ecthelion’s life! But Mithrandir did…

 

“Loneliness,” said Erestor in a moment of unexpected honesty. “I don’t do well when I am alone.” Erestor pulled his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Resting his head on top of his knees, he stared at the Maia, wonderingly. “My thoughts turn dark when I am alone.”

 

Mithrandir’s eyes narrowed. “Are you alone now, then?”

 

“Nay, you are here with me, but I crave the company of the ones I love and trust.”

 

“You don’t trust me?” asked Mithrandir; disappointment showed clearly in his voice.

 

“Nay, I do trust you, but… I miss my family.”

 

“Elrond… the children… maybe even Glorfindel?” ventured the Maia.

 

“Aye, all of them.” Erestor gathered his traveling cloak closer around his frame. Not because he was cold, but because it presented him with a safe and secure feeling. “Why don’t you tell me about Ecthelion? I should know what to expect.”

 

Mithrandir nodded in approval. “Aye, you should.” He uncovered his pipe, stuffed and lit it, and began to smoke. “Ecthelion is every ounce the valiant warrior he was when he died defending Gondolin. Much younger, but also much the same. He is courageous and very intelligent. You will find pleasure and fulfillment in teaching him.”

 

Erestor probed Mithrandir’s eyes. “Why do you need me?”

 

“You are wise, Erestor. You have lived a long time and you have loved and lost. Ecthelion needs your compassion and your wisdom. But most importantly he needs a companion.” Mithrandir saw the puzzled expression in the chocolate brown eyes and explained. “During his stay in the Golden Wood he was raised rather isolated. There were no other children allowed close to him and his only companions were warriors many ages older than he was. He needs to learn how to build a lasting relationship and how to commit to one. You, Erestor, faced the same problem in the past.”

 

Erestor blinked. “That is why you choose me?”

 

“Ecthelion and you have much in common although you do not realize this yet. His pain and yours are similar. You lost your husband and Ecthelion lost Glorfindel – not to mention he also lost his life.”

 

“You choose wrong.” Erestor briefly closed his eyes. “How am I supposed to teach him something I never quite mastered myself? My heart still hurts, remembering the love --” Erestor stopped himself and his eyes opened abruptly, focusing on Mithrandir. Did the Maia know the truth?

 

“Your love for E—”

 

“Don’t say his name! Just don’t!” Erestor exploded with emotion. “He belongs in the past.”

 

“A past you cannot let go,” chided Mithrandir in a gentle voice. “Stop holding on to a love long lost, Erestor, and find love in the present. It is not your destiny to be alone for the rest of your life. He would not want that.”

 

So Mithrandir *did* know about his lost love! “You will keep quiet, won’t you? I don’t want anyone to know and that includes Ecthelion. My past is mine.” Erestor placed more wood onto the fire and stirred it to a higher flame.

 

“I won’t tell him. I won’t tell anyone. I respect you, Erestor. Your past, and your desire to keep the past in the past, where it belongs.” Mithrandir stretched his long legs and rested his back and head against the trunk of a tree. Smoking his pipe, the smoke escaped his lips. He studied Erestor for some time, hoping he had reassured the advisor that his past was safe with him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ecthelion was excited! Today, he would finally meet his new tutor – Chief Advisor Erestor. During his long years in the Golden Wood, the Lord and Lady had always spoken the advisor’s name with great respect. To finally meet such an accomplished Elf made him nervous. He hoped he wouldn’t disappoint Erestor and he was determined to be the best student he could.

 

He was only three years short on reaching his majority, and had already gained the body and composure of the warrior he had once been. Long, raven hair framed the slightly tanned face and playful locks danced against the small of his back. His large, gray eyes twinkled with energy and curiosity, and were always trained on his sparring partner when working out.

 

When Mithrandir had first told him about Erestor, he hadn’t known what to make of this development. He had lived with Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel for his entire life and now this fabled wizard was taking him to the Gray Havens to be taught by Lord Elrond’s Chief Advisor! In the end, he had decided to look upon this as a challenge – one he was determined to master.

 

Excitedly, he hopped from one foot onto the other, and strained his neck to see in the distance. If Mithrandir and Erestor’s journey had gone accordingly to plan they would arrive today and he had been on the look out for them since early this morning.

 

Maybe he was a tad too early and they wouldn’t arrive until this evening? His features darkened with impending disappointment and he sat down on one of the rocks, idly twirling a strand of his hair between his fingers.

 

He had already learned a great deal during his stay in the Golden Wood and he wondered what else Erestor could teach him. Lady Galadriel had taught him how to read and write. Lord Celeborn had played with him when he was a toddler and once he had grown older, the elder Elf had taken it upon him to teach him to ride a horse and use his weapons. Haldir and his brothers had joined them later, teaching him to use his bow, fight bare-handed, and they had also taken him into the woods to teach him how to survive there.

 

He had enjoyed a splendid education and had been raised like an Elven Prince. Protocol, table manners, diplomacy; those had been essential part of his upbringing. Ecthelion had been happy during those years, but the one thing he had always missed was having a friend – a real friend.

 

Often, he wondered about his real family. Did he have any siblings or was he an only child? What had happened to his parents? Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel had told him – when they had judged him old enough – that he wasn’t their flesh and blood, but that his fëa was noble and old. They had never told him the identity of his parents or what had happened to them.

 

For some time he had resented them for that, but in the end he had accepted their judgment. He had grown to love and respect them and knew they would never do something to willingly hurt him.

 

So he had grown up surrounded by warriors, and the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood had been his parents. There had seldom been children around, and in those rare moments that he had heard their voices from a distance, he had never been allowed to play with them. At times, the Lord and Lady’s protectiveness had felt smothering.

 

One side-effect of his upbringing was his extreme curiosity when introduced to strangers. And meeting Erestor filled him with a great curiosity and the desire to get to know him. After all, they would spend the next three years together!

 

Plucking at the fabric from his green tunic, he lifted his eyes to scan the horizon once more. This time his vigilance was rewarded when he made out two small forms in the distance. /They are here!/ Unable to contain his curiosity and excitement any longer, he jumped to his feet, raised his arms and waved at them. “Mithrandir!” The Maia had become a good friend, and although he had learned at an early age that the wizard’s appearance was deceiving, he loved seeing Mithrandir in this form. It had started when they had first met. Ecthelion had broken loose from Celeborn’s hold and had made his way over to the Maia, still swaying on his tiny, slightly chubby legs. He had been a toddler at that time and he had hugged Mithrandir’s right leg tightly. His action had delighted the wizard and the Maia had lifted him, after prying his possessive, little fingers loose from his leg. His fingers had quickly found a way into Mithrandir’s gray hair, giggling and chuckling delightedly. When he had grown older, he had begun to understand what a remarkable being Mithrandir really was and he had felt honored having him for a friend.

 

And now Mithrandir was back! /With Erestor!/ Ecthelion broke out into a run and descended the hill, quite eager to meet his new tutor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“That is Ecthelion,” announced Mithrandir, chuckling as well at seeing the youth’s enthusiasm. “A bundle of bright, unbridled energy. He is a delight, Erestor.”

 

Erestor smiled, pleasantly surprised at seeing Ecthelion’s form running toward them. Even from this distance he made out the sparkle in the gray eyes and the elegance and strength in the other Elf’s movement. “He much resembles the warrior he once was.” He had met Ecthelion once during his time in Gondolin and even back then he had admired the raven-haired Elf. But this wasn’t the same Elf. This Ecthelion had experienced different events in these forty-seven years and comparing him to the Captain he had once been wouldn’t do him justice.

 

Ecthelion had reached them by now and came to a stop, panting softly. “Mithrandir!”

 

Mithrandir laughed, amused, and dismounted. The moment his feet touched the ground, he found his arms full with excited Elf, who bestowed a tight hug on him.

 

“You are back!” Ecthelion smiled, brilliantly, and his eyes probed the Maia’s. “I have missed you!”

 

“And I missed you too,” said Mithrandir, good-naturedly. “You have been waiting for us.”

 

“Since early this morning!” Ecthelion nodded, firmly. “I hoped you would arrive today!” Ecthelion’s gaze now shifted from Mithrandir to Erestor.

 

Erestor studied Ecthelion in turn and found he was facing an adult, even though Ecthelion was still three years short of his majority. The fëa that shone from within those gray eyes didn’t belong to an Elfling, but to an ancient soul. Erestor smiled reassuringly and then slid out of his saddle, gracefully coming to stand still beside Mithrandir. “Greetings, Ecthelion. I am very pleased to meet you.”

 

Erestor’s words broke the ice and Ecthelion grinned, impishly. “My Lord Erestor, I am honored to meet you.” He inclined his head in respect and then his twinkling eyes locked with the advisor’s. “I have been looking forward to your arrival.”

 

Mithrandir chuckled. “I reckon you grew bored, being here on your own?”

 

“Oh, yes! I had no one to talk to!” He could have gone to the haven itself and mingled with the people there, but he still felt somewhat shy. He had judged it wiser to stay in the house Mithrandir had assigned to him and had spent these last few weeks reading, watching the sun set, and singing. As long as he could remember everyone had told him what a lovely singing voice he had and he sang whenever someone requested a song. Music was an essential part of his life – one he hoped Erestor would share with him. “I am Ecthelion,” he said, introducing himself, “And I am your new student.”

 

“You are eager to learn, then?” Erestor smiled, pleased. Ecthelion radiated strength, valor, and honesty. He had instantly taken a liking to the younger Elf. “And I am Erestor.”

 

“Mithrandir told me about you, my Lord,” said Ecthelion in voice that suddenly turned timid. “I hope I won’t disappoint you. Mithrandir told me you also taught Lord Elrond’s children.”

 

Erestor raised his right hand and brushed a mischievous, raven strand of hair away from Ecthelion’s face. “You are eager to learn, Ecthelion. Such eagerness ensures you will be an excellent student.” He hoped his words would reassure the younger Elf.

 

Mithrandir nodded, absentmindedly, approving of Erestor’s words and tone. /I chose well. These two already like each other./

 

“May I show you the way to our new home?” Ecthelion shuffled his feet, still feeling a bit nervous. Erestor seemed very likable, and he hoped they would become friends, but the advisor was much older, and Ecthelion was afraid Erestor wouldn’t like befriending someone as young as him.

 

“Of course,” said Erestor, easily picking up on Ecthelion’s nervousness. “I am curious, you know.” At those words, Ecthelion gave him a stunning smile that reached and warmed his heart.

 

Ecthelion managed to take hold of the reins of Erestor’s mount and began to climb the hill, waiting for Erestor and Mithrandir to follow. He walked a few feet in front of them and heard them whisper.

 

“He is a handful,” said Erestor, finding it hard to keep his amusement from his voice.

 

“He is young, energetic and eager,” replied Mithrandir, who gave Erestor a look that said ‘I told you so’. “And very, very curious.”

 

Erestor lowered his voice further, so Ecthelion wouldn’t hear him. “You were right; I will enjoy teaching him.”

 

Mithrandir’s eyes burst with pleasure. “Ask him to sing for you tonight. You will find delight in his voice as well.”

 

“Ah, yes,” whispered Erestor, recalling the stories woven around Ecthelion’s voice. “I have never heard him sing before. I might ask him.”

 

Ecthelion had been forced to strain his hearing to the maximum, but it had enabled him to catch their words. He would sing for both of them tonight.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor explored his new home. He would live here for the next three years and found he liked the charming, little cottage. There were two spacious bedrooms, a nice bathroom, kitchen and living room. It was perfect.

 

“I hope your room pleases you,” whispered Ecthelion, blushing weakly. He had cleaned the room, removed the dust and put fresh linen on the bed, as he wanted Erestor to feel comfortable and welcome here. “When Mithrandir stayed with me we spent most of the day either outside or in the living area.” He only went to his room to sleep and he hoped Erestor would enjoy his company as much as Mithrandir did.

 

Ecthelion’s breath suddenly caught. “Is that a harp?”

 

Erestor turned and nodded once. “Aye, it is.” He uncovered the instrument from the saddle bag. His long, agile fingers tenderly caressed the carved wood. “It was a gift from Lord Elrond. He gave it to me on a winter eve, two millennia ago. I have seldom played though, rarely having the time to indulge.” 

 

“Do you also sing?” Ecthelion’s heart fluttered madly and his enthusiasm was reflected in his eyes, which had turned a lighter shade of gray.

 

“It has been a while,” replied Erestor, gently. “Maybe I will find the time to do so here.”

 

“I hope so!” Ecthelion beamed with pleasure and impatiently moved from one foot to the other. His first passion was music and he would love to share it with Erestor.

 

“Ecthelion! Give Erestor a moment to unpack.” Mithrandir, knowing from personal experience that Ecthelion would be hovering close to Erestor, chuckled. Ecthelion was a rare jewel; a true gift from the Valar. And they would need him so badly in the upcoming war!

 

“I am sorry, but Mithrandir…” Ecthelion was inwardly torn. He didn’t want to leave Erestor, but couldn’t disobey the Maia either. In the end, obedience won and he quickly excused himself.

 

Erestor watched the younger Elf with interest. He had imagined Ecthelion to be many things, but this youthful enthusiasm had even taken him aback – no easy feat. How could anyone not like Ecthelion?

 

And he understood Glorfindel perfectly. The blond warrior’s love and dedication had taken on mythical proportions throughout these last millennia, which were frequently addressed in poetry and song. The two Captains had been devoted lovers.

 

Erestor sat down, recalling what Mithrandir had told him. Upon Ecthelion’s rebirth it had been decided by Galadriel, Celeborn and Mithrandir, that part of the truth was to be kept from Ecthelion. Ecthelion knew he possessed a reborn fëa and that he had been a warrior of some renown in his first life, but everything concerning Gondolin and Glorfindel had been kept from him.

 

Mithrandir had forbidden him to mention the hidden city and Glorfindel until the very day that Ecthelion would reach his majority.

 

And like Ecthelion, Erestor decided to trust in their judgment. He greatly respected the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood, and Mithrandir. He just wished he knew their reasons for keeping these things from the young Elf.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I didn’t know you could cook this well.” Erestor placed the napkin onto the table and leaned back, feeling pleasurably full. The red snapper had been delicious. “You should give Elrond’s cook that recipe!”

 

Mithrandir laughed loudly. “I picked up on some things during my life here in the Havens where there is always fish in abundance! But don’t get used to this! From tomorrow on, Ecthelion and you have to cook your own dinner. This was an exception.”

 

“A very welcome exception.” Erestor saw Ecthelion smile and felt at peace. Why had he protested coming here so vehemently? He instinctively knew he would like living here – would like teaching Ecthelion. The only thing he had to be careful of was not to mention Gondolin and Glorfindel. /But what will happen when he reaches his majority? And why keep this from him in the first place?/ Erestor probed Mithrandir’s eyes and realized the wizard knew what he was thinking.

 

/I have my reasons./ Mithrandir cast the words into Erestor’s mind, not seeking to convince, but reassure him. /All will be revealed in due time. Trust me./

 

Erestor caught Ecthelion’s puzzled look and smiled. The young Elf was alert and had realized some silent communication was taking place.

 

Ecthelion wished they would confide in him. Subconsciously, he knew there were things – important things – that Mithrandir had never told him and which he should know. But he had been raised too well – too loyally to question the Maia’s motives. Uncovering his harp, he cleared his throat. “A song, perhaps?”

 

“Ah, yes.” Erestor nodded encouragingly. “Please play and sing for us.” He was curious to find out if Ecthelion’s voice was as enchanting as history claimed it to be.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor sighed when Ecthelion stopped singing. During the song a spell had been woven around him and it was hard to free himself of the enchantment. “Your voice is exquisite,” said Erestor, paying his new student his first compliment.

 

“I will sing for you each evening, then!” exclaimed Ecthelion, feeling proud now that he had pleased Mithrandir and Erestor. He glanced at Erestor, but then looked away again – still feeling strangely shy. /I like him. Our time here will be blessed./

 

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