Title: Lonely In Love.

Author: Morgana morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website; http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl
Pairing(s): Glorfindel/Elrond, Glorfindel/Ecthelion and Erestor/Ecthelion.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Valar deem the time ready for Ecthelion to return to Arda. Erestor is given the task of preparing the young warrior for a life in Imladris.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, fluff, romance, minor angst.
Author’s Note: Not beta read. All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU!

 

 

 

Lonely in love

The night will fade, the sun will shine
A new day - Lonely in love
And light the way for you to find

New love

 

Lyrics by Crimson Glory

 

Part 3

 

Erestor stretched at leisure and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He had slept surprisingly well, considering his tendency to have sleepless nights when staying in a strange place.

 

Arien’s rosy beams playfully entered his bedroom and danced against the beige of his walls. Erestor indulged himself by staying in his bed a few minutes longer and stared at the ceiling. Suddenly, he realized he could hear the Sea from here and a smile formed on his face. He instinctively knew he would be happy here.

 

“My Lord Erestor?” Ecthelion hesitantly knocked on the door to his new teacher’s room. He wasn’t certain Erestor was awake yet, but he didn’t want to leave the cottage without telling the elder Elf first. He didn’t want Erestor to worry when he found him gone.

 

“You may enter, Ecthelion.” Erestor popped himself up onto his elbows.

 

The door opened and Ecthelion shuffled inside. Erestor was partly hidden beneath the sheets and he couldn’t help but grin at finding the elder Elf had gone asleep with his clothes still on. “You must have been tired.”

 

Erestor nodded once. “And too lazy to change my clothes for the night.” Erestor pushed back the sheets and got to his feet, stretching in a cat-like fashion. “I reckon Mithrandir has already left us?”

 

“Aye.” Ecthelion remained near the doorway, not wanting to infringe on Erestor’s privacy in whatever way. “He left before sunrise.”

 

“And why are you here?” Erestor poured water in the bowl. After splashing his face, he looked in the mirror to read Ecthelion’s expression, as the younger Elf now stood behind him.

 

“I wanted to inform you that I am going for my morning run.” Ecthelion had dressed in a comfortable shirt and leggings. His hair was combed, but unbraided, as it befitted an Elf who hadn’t reached his majority yet.

 

“Your morning run?” Erestor frowned; Glorfindel had told him more than once to spend more time outside instead of locking himself up in his study.

 

“Aye, my Lord, and I did not want you to worry when you found me gone.”

 

“My Lord?” Erestor chuckled. He had noticed Ecthelion calling him that before, but had been too excited and tired to address the matter. “I am no Lord, Ecthelion!”

 

Ecthelion blushed. “What am I to call you, then?”

 

“How about Erestor?” Erestor turned and smiled warmly. “Would you mind some company on your run?” Now that he was to stay here for the next three years he should use the opportunity to work on his condition. He had the feeling he would be spending a lot of his time outside with Ecthelion. The youngster struck him as very active and he wouldn’t be surprised to find himself sparring with Ecthelion. /If I am the only other Elf here, I will have little choice. His training must continue./

 

“Mind?” Ecthelion practically beamed with happiness when he realized that Erestor wanted to join him. “Not at all!”

 

“Give me five minutes to get ready.” His clothes needed changing and his braids had come loose during the night. He needed to put them in order first.

 

“I will wait for you in the kitchen! Maybe you would like to eat or drink something before we leave? I never do well on an empty stomach.”

 

“Tea would be nice… Maybe some bread and cheese?” suggested Erestor, who now took hold of his comb. It was a good thing he had already unpacked; now he didn’t have to go looking for it.

 

“But of course!” With youthful enthusiasm, Ecthelion ran down the corridor toward the kitchen.

 

Erestor chuckled, softly. “I have the feeling that my stay here will be nothing like I expected it to be!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor wondered why each bite he took was being watched with such great interest on Ecthelion’s part. He had almost finished his sandwich when he realized Ecthelion was just as curious as he was. He should use these next few days to get to know his charge. /And I will have to open up to him as well./

 

“Are you ready?” Ecthelion burst with energy and jumped up from his chair.

 

“Aye, I am ready.” Erestor took one last sip of his tea and rose from his chair. “You will have to pace yourself, Ecthelion. It has been quite some time since I ran frequently.”

 

“I am certain you will manage,” said Ecthelion, good-naturedly. He left the cottage and started doing the stretching exercises Celeborn had taught him many years ago.

 

Erestor leaned against the doorway for a moment, then closed the door behind him and joined his young charge. “Maybe you can show me around the Havens? I do not know my way around yet.”

 

“I have not been that often in the city myself,” admitted Ecthelion, “But I know enough of our surroundings to ensure we won’t become lost.”

 

Erestor jogged after Ecthelion when the younger Elf moved away from the cottage. Within minutes they had established a nice pace – not too fast, not too slow.

 

“I like the Havens,” said Ecthelion, trying to involve Erestor in conversation. “I like the sound of the Sea, the smell.”

 

Erestor nodded once. “It is very beautiful here – peaceful even.” The terrain became uneven and he had to pay more attention to where he was putting down his feet. To his delight, he noticed that they were heading for the haven itself. It was still very early in the morning and not many people were awake yet. They made their way down the harbor, occasionally stopping when Ecthelion told him about a particularly interesting boat.

 

“I like coming here, but not when it is crowded,” said Ecthelion. Within the next few hours the harbor would grow swarmed with merchants, house wives, sailors and maids. That was when he avoided coming here.

 

Erestor understood, perfectly. He disliked crowds as well. Unfortunately, in his role as advisor he frequently had to deal with them. Ecthelion surprised him by moving away from the harbor again, choosing a rocky path that would take them to a higher setting.

 

“You will have an excellent view from up there,” said Ecthelion, pointing out a rather steep slope to Erestor.

 

“You like it here,” said Erestor, when they stood on the edge of the slope, overlooking the Gray Havens.

 

“Don’t you?” Ecthelion took in the lovely sight. “My father told me about the Sea-longing that sometimes takes the elder Elves. Have you ever felt the call of the Sea?”

 

Erestor was about to answer that question, when his curiosity was aroused. “Your father?” He wished he hadn’t asked, seeing the pained expression in the gray eyes.

 

“I referred to Lord Celeborn.” Feeling depressed, he sat down on one of the rocks. He stared at the eternal motion that was the Sea and then shrugged his shoulders. “I do not know my real parents. No one ever told me who they are. I look upon the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood as my parents.” At least, in that way, he still had parents.

 

“I am sorry to hear they never told you. That must have hurt you.” Erestor sat down beside Ecthelion and was reminded of the conversations he’d had with Estel, who had gone through a similar experience. Elrond had waited with telling Estel the complete truth until he had judged his foster-son ready to face his destiny.

 

Ecthelion leaned forward, picked up a pebble and turned it between his fingers. “I wish I knew if I had any siblings,” he said, absentmindedly. “I love Galadriel and Celeborn as if they were my own parents, but I would have liked to know the truth.”

 

Erestor could only guess at why the couple had decided against telling Ecthelion. Maybe they had thought it didn’t matter as Ecthelion was destined to live a life away from his family? Still, it sounded cruel to him. “I understand.”

 

“Do you?” Ecthelion looked at Erestor, thoughtfully.

 

“I do,” confirmed Erestor. “Lord Elrond’s foster-son experienced these feelings as well and we talked about them for years.”

 

“It is easy to talk to you,” said Ecthelion in his unguarded enthusiasm. “I was a bit worried when Mithrandir told me about you. I do not know you and I was afraid you would be distant, authoritative, and…” He grew quiet, realizing his fears hadn’t come true. “I like you.”

 

“And I like you!” Erestor reached out with his right hand and ruffled the younger Elf’s long hair. “But this won’t get you out of today’s lesson.”

 

Ecthelion sighed. “I do not like being confined to the house.”

 

/I bet you do not,/ thought Erestor, fondly. “I will design a schedule that will give you equal time outside. Is that acceptable?” He said those last three words in a teasing voice.

 

“Oh yes!” Ecthelion nodded, fervently. “And will you also train me? Spar with me? Teach me new maneuvers?” Suddenly, he realized something. “But you are a scholar… A teacher.” Did Erestor even know how to wield a sword?

 

“Put your worries to rest,” said Erestor, smiling. “It has been millennia since I fought last, but I am confident that I can still keep up with you.”

 

“You are a warrior, then?” Ecthelion inched closer, staring excitedly at Erestor. “Did you bear witness to any of the great battles?”

 

“I did. I fought at Mount Orodruin during the Battle of the Last Alliance. Is that war grand enough for you?” Erestor was teasing, and he was happy to see Ecthelion took it in stride.

 

“You fought Sauron?” Unable to remain seated any longer, Ecthelion jumped to his feet, wielding an imaginary sword. “Did you kill any Orcs?”

 

“More than I could count,” replied Erestor. “But such a battle does not consist of glory alone, Ecthelion. I lost many loved ones in that war.” He didn’t want to remember his husband dying in his arms, but the image came uninvited.

 

Ecthelion grew worried, seeing the distant expression in Erestor’s eyes. “My Lo…” He quickly corrected himself. “Erestor?” He moved his hand in front of the elder Elf’s face, but Erestor didn’t react. Growing worried, he shook the other Elf slightly. “Erestor!”

 

Erestor’s thoughts returned to the present and he shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of the memories. At seeing Ecthelion’s worried expression, he immediately soothed his charge. “I was lost in thought. There is nothing for you to worry about.”

 

“I am sorry if my questions brought back unpleasant memories.” Ecthelion berated himself privately. Of all people *he* should know to be more careful! Didn’t nightmares plague him at night – nightmares that showed him death and destruction?

 

“We should return to the cottage,” stated Erestor, getting to his feet again. “I desire a bath.”

 

Ecthelion grinned, unexpectedly. “There is no bathtub in the house.”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened with surprise. “There isn’t?”

 

“I reckon the builders didn’t think they would need one, with the Sea at their doorstep.”

 

Erestor shook his head. “Does this mean we will have to go swimming?”

 

“If you want to bathe, aye.” Ecthelion came to stand beside his new teacher. “Do you mind?”

 

“The water will be cold,” argued Erestor, not pleased with the prospect of having to bathe in the Sea.

 

“We Elves do not feel the cold!” Ecthelion was amused and grinned.

 

Erestor shrugged. “There is too much water. I prefer a bathtub.”

 

Ecthelion chuckled. “Maybe you can have one made?”

 

“Maybe I will,” said Erestor, steadfast.

 

Ecthelion began to run when Erestor took the lead. “Rain might solve your problem – providing you with a shower.”

 

Erestor growled softly; he preferred some privacy when bathing, but it looked like he wouldn’t get any for the next three years. /Three *long* years!/

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“The water is not that cold! Really!” Ecthelion, who had been swimming under water now surfaced again. He studied Erestor, who was still dressed, standing undecidedly on the shore. It almost felt like the elder Elf was waiting for something.

 

Erestor was still getting used to the idea of having to bathe in the Sea. He had been quite fond of his bathtub in Imladris and wished he had somehow taken it with him to the Havens. “Bathing in the Sea,” he mumbled in a disapproving voice. Growing aware of Ecthelion’s eyes on him, he almost growled, “Can I have some privacy?”

 

“Privacy?” Ecthelion’s eyes widened. /Privacy? Oh, he wants me to leave!/ Ecthelion felt a bit confused, as he had always bathed with Celeborn, Haldir and his brothers, and whatever Elf was present at the time. Why did Erestor want privacy? But, he would oblige the elder Elf. Celeborn had taught him to always respect his elders.

 

Erestor cursed privately when Ecthelion left the water. The younger Elf was naked, already well-muscled and remarkable lean. Involuntarily, he averted his eyes, unwilling to pry.

 

His teacher’s behavior puzzled him, but Ecthelion continued to dry his skin and then slipped into the clean clothes he had brought with him. “I am dressed,” he said, realizing why Erestor appeared embarrassed.

 

Erestor released a deep sigh. Ecthelion’s reactions and look told him that the younger Elf was puzzled, and he realized he had to explain. “It is not that I am ashamed of my body,” he started, weakly, “But…”

 

“You do not have to explain yourself to me.” Ecthelion managed a reassuring smile. “The Sea is all yours. I will have lunch ready when you return to the house.”

 

“Thank you,” said Erestor, strangely touched by the younger Elf’s considerate behavior.

 

“Enjoy the bath!” Ecthelion grinned, wickedly, and marched back to their home, leaving Erestor alone with his precious privacy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The water wasn’t cold and the waves tenderly brushed against his skin. The sky was blue – cloudless – and Arien shone brightly, warming him with her beams. And suddenly he regretted asking for his privacy. For Ecthelion had stayed, the younger Elf would be chatting contently, and driving away his loneliness. Rinsing his hair, Erestor wondered about the amazing speed with which the younger Elf had conquered his heart. When he had left Imladris he had resigned himself to his fate, but things had developed differently.

 

He could see Ecthelion and him become good friends. He would most certainly enjoy teaching such a bright student, but knowledge wasn’t the thing Ecthelion thirsted for. That was friendship and close companionship.

 

He sighed again, looked at the sky and wondered what these next three years would bring. He had seldom felt this lost – and found at the same time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I am ready for my first assignment,” announced Ecthelion. The younger Elf sat opposite Erestor in the living room with the oak table in between them. In front of him lay pen, ink, paper and a number of books. “What do you want me to do?”

 

Erestor, once more dressed in burgundy robes, and with neatly braided hair, probed the depths of Ecthelion’s gray eyes. “I want you to write an essay about your life. Summarize your first few years and elaborate when addressing important events in your life. Also pay attention to spelling and grammar.”

 

Ecthelion frowned at hearing his first assignment. “Why my life?”

 

“I need to get to know you, Ecthelion. Aye, Mithrandir gave me some information, but I require more details. I need to know what subjects you already mastered and in which you need tutoring.” Ecthelion fascinated him and he wished to get to know him better.

 

“I can do that,” stated Ecthelion, confidently.

 

“You have until dinner.”

 

“You will have to prepare dinner, then,” said Ecthelion in a wicked tone. “I will be working on this paper until the very last minute.”

 

Erestor realized his mistake that moment. Ecthelion was taking advantage of his assignment, pretending he needed until dinner to finish. /He won’t stop writing until the very moment that I announce dinner. He is very intelligent – this one./ Erestor didn’t mind though; he liked a challenge.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It had been decades since Erestor had last cooked, and he felt quite proud of the result. The crab meat was tender, the vegetables still possessed their original color and the bread hadn’t burned in the oven. Aye, quite the accomplishment!

 

“I reckon dinner is ready?”

 

Erestor raised an eyebrow, finding Ecthelion standing behind him. Only a moment ago the younger Elf had still been sitting down. /He sneaked up on me and I did not even notice./ His guard was down around his charge, which worried him to some degree. He should remain alert all the time. Ecthelion was *his* responsibility and he had to keep him safe. “Aye, dinner is ready.”

 

Ecthelion proudly presented the essay to Erestor. “I hope I did not make too many mistakes.”

 

“We will see,” said Erestor, dryly. “Now seat yourself so we can eat.” They sat down and Erestor watched Ecthelion pile the food onto his plate. “Hungry?”

 

“Aye!” Ecthelion picked up his fork and began to eat. “This tastes surprisingly good!”

 

“Did you expect me to be a bad cook, then?” Whilst eating his dinner, Erestor read the essay. He encountered a few mistakes, but let them be, focusing on the content for now. So far, there were no surprises, but then something caught his attention. “You suffer from nightmares?” He placed his fork aside and nipped from his tea.

 

“Aye. I have had them for as long as I can remember. Usually Lord Celeborn would come to comfort me. Or the Lady Galadriel. In the morning, I would wake up with my fingers tightly tangled in their hair.”

 

/Fair hair,/ thought Erestor, /which resembles Glorfindel’s./ Leaning back, he studied Ecthelion’s clouded eyes. “What are they about?”

 

“My nightmares?” Discussing them made him comfortable, though he couldn’t explain why. He had discussed them with Celeborn too. Why had Erestor picked his nightmares to discuss when there were so many possible subjects in that essay?

 

“Aye, your nightmares.” Erestor realized his charge was stalling and considered not pursuing this, but this was important. He had to know how to act during the night when Ecthelion had a bad dream.

 

Ecthelion’s brow furrowed. He didn’t want to remember, but he would – for Erestor. “I remember running… Running through a white city. There are Elves all around me and they wear armor and weapons. I also hear music… Flutes and harps… And there is singing as well. We are facing an enemy, but I cannot see him.” Ecthelion’s breath now came in gasps and his big eyes pleadingly locked with Erestor’s. “There is blood. Blood and death. Screams are in the air… And then there is fire, engulfing me.” Ecthelion paused momentarily to catch his breath. “I am falling… And I keep falling until I hit icy cold water. The flames are extinguished, but I still feel hot. My body burns and I am drowning… I cannot breathe!”

 

Erestor moved quickly, seeing the panic on Ecthelion’s face. “You *can* breathe! You are *not* drowning! And there is no fire. Center yourself!”

 

Erestor’s voice calmed him down and Ecthelion gave the elder Elf a thankful look. “It is just… It feels so real.” Still panting slightly, he managed to compose himself again. “When I have that dream it feels like I am somewhere else… Someone else too.”

 

/I wish I knew why they are keeping you in the dark. You should know who you are – who you were./ But he couldn’t go against their wishes. Celeborn, Galadriel and Mithrandir wouldn’t have reached such a decision easily. They must have had their reasons. “When that happens, is there anything I should do?”

 

Ecthelion shifted nervously on his chair. “Lord Celeborn never tried to wake me. He would hold me, whisper something that soothed me and hold me until the morning came. But I cannot ask that of you. You barely know me.”

 

“Would it ease your sleep, knowing I would do the same as Lord Celeborn did?”

 

“It would,” admitted Ecthelion, lifting shiny eyes to meet Erestor’s. “I am glad you are here.”

 

Erestor smiled, as he was lost for words at the moment. He had never expected Ecthelion and him to bond so quickly, but he could feel the first stirrings of friendship between them – companionship even. /Where will this take us?/ And why did he feel apprehensive?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor almost purred, sitting relaxed in a comfortable chair and listening to Ecthelion’s enchanting voice. It was a true privilege to hear this mythical voice and the fact that Ecthelion was singing for *him* made it even more special!

 

“Do you know any songs?” asked Ecthelion once he had finished. He sat cross-legged in front of Erestor, who was having a glass of wine, whilst he had been given some tea. He had considered protesting, but knew it would be pointless. He wasn’t allowed any wine until the day of his majority.

 

“I do, but I am not certain they are suitable.”

 

Ecthelion frowned. “Why wouldn’t they be suitable?”

 

“They are old battle songs. We sang them marching toward the enemy when we fought at Mount Orodruin.” And Elves had sung them in Gondolin when the hidden city had been attacked by evil. “You are still too young…”

 

But Ecthelion didn’t agree. “I am old enough to learn them! They are part of my heritage.”

 

/They are part of who you are,/ realized Erestor. But teaching Ecthelion these songs might cause more repressed memories to surface and he didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t want even more nightmares to torment his charge. “I can teach you songs that are sung by Imladris’ minstrels, if you are interested.”

 

“Imladris?” Ecthelion inched closer, rising up onto his knees. “Will you tell me what Imladris looks like? And about her inhabitants? The people there? Lord Elrond and his children?”

 

Erestor nodded once, realizing he had found a way out. “I will. I will tell you about them.” Erestor wished he could tell Ecthelion about Glorfindel as well, but the blond warrior’s existence had to remain a secret for now.

 

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