Title: Lonely In Love.

Author: Morgana à morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Website;  http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon/

Pairing(s): Glorfindel/Elrond, Glorfindel/Ecthelion, Erestor/Ecthelion and Elladan/Elrohir.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Valar deem the time ready for Ecthelion to return to Arda. Erestor is given the task of preparing the young warrior for a life in Imladris.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU, fluff, romance, minor angst. Twin slash (implied)
Author’s Note: Not beta read. All mistakes are all mine; yeah, I am greedy! And remember; this is AU! Oh, and I know as good as nothing of Gondolin, Ecthelion’s death, etc, but I tried my best!

 

 Lonely in love

The night will fade, the sun will shine
A new day - Lonely in love
And light the way for you to find

New love

 

Lyrics by Crimson Glory

 

 

Part 6

 

The space next to him was still warm and evidence that Erestor had only just left the bed. Sadly enough, he was alone now. /Erestor probably left to make breakfast./ Ecthelion knew he should get out of bed and get ready for his morning run, but the bed was pleasantly warm and Erestor’s slightly spicy scent still lingered between the sheets. It was a masculine scent, one that now filled him with longing.

 

Erestor’s form appeared before his mind’s eye, making him smile. The lithe, elder Elf possessed a unique beauty and the large, chocolate brown eyes had captured his heart. Although his mind was still half asleep, his body was already fully awake and reacted to his thoughts, which continued to circle around the raven-haired advisor.

 

Oh my… This wasn’t good at all. Ecthelion’s eyes opened with a start, feeling his groin stir and his flesh rise to attention. Oh no, he wasn’t lusting after his teacher, was he?

 

An intense blush crept across his features and he was relieved that Erestor had already left. He would have died from embarrassment if the elder Elf had still been here. His erection pushed the fabric of the blanket upward, clearly showing his arousal.

 

Ecthelion quickly rolled onto his side, pulled his knees toward his chest and tried to make his arousal fade. But to no avail. Now that his face was practically buried in the pillows, Erestor’s scent became even stronger; invading his nostrils and making him very much aware of the fact of how much he craved the elder Elf. /When did that happen? When did I develop feelings for him? He has only been here for a few days!/ This couldn’t be happening!

 

But it *was* happening, and his arousal wasn’t fading. In the end, he did the only thing he could to rid himself of his morning erection. He stroked the hard flesh, trying hard *not* to think of Erestor. This wasn’t right. Erestor was his teacher!

 

After finding release – an empty sensation that left him unfulfilled – he cleaned himself up and stared angrily at the traitorous, now flaccid organ. He vividly remembered the first time his body had reacted to someone else’s presence.

 

Orophin and he had spent the day in the woods and that morning he had grown hard, waking up next to a warm body. All he could think about had been the fair Galadhel. He had almost died from embarrassment when Orophin had caught him in the act of touching himself. He had seldom felt as intimated and confused as when he had felt back then, but Orophin had risen to the challenge and had explained everything to him with remarkably patience.

 

When they had returned home in the afternoon, his embarrassment had disappeared and new understanding had formed. At least now he understood that something natural had happened and that it was nothing to be ashamed of. He still felt grateful toward Orophin for handling such a delicate matter in a mature and wise way.

 

/Why now? Why Erestor?/ Sitting upright in bed, he sighed deeply. The advisor was attractive and desirable, and he *was* reacting to Erestor’s presence. /That must be it. A reaction. Nothing else. It will go away again when I no longer need him to guard my sleep./

 

Ecthelion dragged himself out of the bed, feeling confused, miserable, and strangely weak in the knees. /It is only a reaction to his presence. Nothing more./

 

Running a hand through his waist-long hair, he encountered several tangles. But he wasn’t in the mood to go to the Sea to bathe. Not in his current mind set. /I do not have to go to the Sea,/ he realized, /I can use Erestor’s bathtub./

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor had prepared breakfast and now briefly returned to his room to change his clothing. The shirt and leggings he had slept in reeked and new, clean clothes were in order. Opening the drawer, he selected a light blue shirt, and he was about to reach for socks when his attention was drawn to a letter, which had apparently been hidden between his clothes.

 

Now that his curiosity had been piqued, he placed the clothes on the bed and sat down, taking the mysterious letter with him. A deep frown appeared on his brow, recognizing the handwriting on the front. Now why would the Wizard leave him a letter when they had only parted a few days ago? Hadn’t they discussed Ecthelion in depth during their journey here? Or did this not concern the reborn Captain of the Fountain? Intrigued, he broke the seal, unfolded the paper and began to read.

 

Erestor,

 

You are probably wondering why there is a letter tucked away between your garments. I trust the Valar to guide your hands when the time is right.

 

By now, you have met Ecthelion and you have probably gathered that he is a brave, but troubled youngster. At his birth, Celeborn, Galadriel and I decided to keep the worst parts of his past from him until he was strong enough to face them.

 

And the moment of truth is coming closer for Ecthelion.

 

Knowing you, Erestor, you are still wondering why we chose you for this task. There are several reasons and I will disclose one of them to you. We trust in your wisdom and judgment. We want *you* to choose the moment when to tell Ecthelion about Gondolin and Glorfindel. We realized a long time ago that Ecthelion needed to know before he reached his majority, but we are too well-trained in keeping the truth from him. You, on the other hand, look at him in a different way.

 

You have hereby permission to tell him what you think is necessary. But make your choices carefully, Erestor. Remember he is still very young. Maybe it would be a good idea to dose all information and to lead him through it step by step.

 

There is one last thing you should know, Erestor. Once Ecthelion knows the truth, his memory will be restored and with that the desire will come to be reunited with Glorfindel. He will want to travel to Imladris and you are to accompany him.

 

We are entrusting Ecthelion to you, Erestor, and we want you to know one more thing. We know the future. We know what will happen. We have seen it in Galadriel’s mirror. There will be times when you will experience despair, but always trust in us. Trust in us, Erestor.

 

Mithrandir

 

Erestor read the letter a second time, just to make sure he understood correctly. /They want *me* to tell him!/ Hadn’t he unwillingly made a start last night when he had told Ecthelion about his death?

 

He folded the letter and carefully hid it beneath his pillow, contemplating its content. He understood – to a certain degree – why they had chosen him for this task, and he even felt comfortable with it, now that he had been given permission to reveal the past to Ecthelion, but what puzzled him were Mithrandir’s last words; trust in us.

 

Why was it so important for Mithrandir to stress that? Did the Wizard foresee problems and was Mithrandir trying to encourage him? /I do not know Mithrandir’s intentions in this matter, but at least I now have permission to tell Ecthelion./ He briefly closed his eyes, remembering the way the Last Homely House looked in the morning when it was still shrouded in mist. /Ecthelion will want to go there… Aye, Mithrandir is right. He will want to be reunited with Glorfindel./

 

Erestor opened his eyes and considered everything he had learned. Ecthelion wasn’t ready yet to learn the whole truth. Mithrandir’s advice was wise; he would feed the younger Elf tiny bits of information. /Aye, that is the best way./ He would carefully lead Ecthelion toward the truth.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Where was Ecthelion? The younger Elf wasn’t in his rooms and Erestor had had the impression that his charge made a point of never being late for his morning run or breakfast. So where was he?

 

Erestor, dressed in comfortable leggings and a shirt, stood silent, listening to the sounds echoing through the cottage. Water… He heard splashing water, mixed with amused chuckling. /Ah, sounds like he discovered the luxury of having a bathtub in the house./ Erestor walked down the corridor and knocked on the door to the bathroom. “Ecthelion?”

 

Ecthelion looked up, trying to push away the foam that had formed when he had poured in a generous – too generous – amount of Erestor’s bath oil. “Aye?”

 

“Breakfast is ready.” Erestor grinned, hearing Ecthelion curse softly.

 

“I am late then!” Just how much time had passed since he had sat down in the bathtub?

 

“Join me in five minutes in the kitchen.” Still giggling, Erestor headed for the kitchen. /I am corrupting him,/ he mused, amused, /Only a few days ago he preferred the Sea!/

 

Inside the bathroom, Ecthelion pushed himself to his feet, watching foam slide down his body. He felt warm, relaxed, and was bursting with energy. He hoped Erestor had planned some outdoor activities instead of studying, for this energy needed a way out!

 

Grabbing hold of a soft towel, he rubbed his skin dry, wrapped another towel around his long hair and then dressed in the tunic and leggings he had brought from his room. He was fairly decent again and the only thing that still needed tending to was his hair. Removing the towel, the wet mass of raven locks tumbled down his back. He took hold of his comb and tried to rid himself of the last few tangles.

 

His fingers moved through the dark curtain of hair, wishing he was already allowed to braid it like a warrior. But he was only allowed to wear it loose or in a pony tail for now. Ecthelion grabbed one of the leather ties and forced his hair into one tight pony tail so his hair wouldn’t be in the way until it was dry.

 

Drawing in a deep breath, he tried to suppress the attraction he still felt toward Erestor. An attraction, which had made him hard this very morning. Maybe asking Erestor to sleep in the same bed with him had been a mistake. A mistake, which he ought to render tonight.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“What are your plans for today?” Ecthelion munched his eggs happily, devouring the fresh bread and milk. Erestor sat opposite him, nibbling on his bread and cheese and sipping his morning tea. The advisor seemed to have abandoned the robes, which he had worn when they had first met and now more resembled a warrior than a scholar. Erestor had even braided his hair, which was a first, and Ecthelion wished he could wear his hair in a similar fashion.

 

“We will spend most of the day outside,” said Erestor, realizing Ecthelion’s need to leave the confines of the cottage. “Archery practice first, swimming later.”

 

“And what about the horses?” Ecthelion took a large bite out of the buttered bread, topped with honey. “Will we also go horseback riding?”

 

“Maybe,” said Erestor, “Much depends on your ability to find out their names.” He hoped that comment would distract Ecthelion from whatever was bothering his charge. There was a strange kind of unease about Ecthelion, which he couldn’t explain.

 

“Finding out their names?” Ecthelion moved closer.

 

Erestor smiled. “The merchant gave them names, but those are not their real ones. They told me, but you have not yet mastered the ability to talk to them. So I will teach you.”

 

“Talk to horses? What about other animals?” Excited, Ecthelion tried to explore all possibilities this option presented.

 

“Aye, we can communicate with all animals, but you never learned to do so. I am surprised they did not teach you.” Erestor finished his tea and began cleaning up the breakfast table.

 

Ecthelion was quickly on his feet to help the elder Elf. “But you will? You will teach me?”

 

“Aye, I will.” Erestor reached for his boots and slipped into them. “Are you ready for today’s lessons?” Ecthelion radiated impatience, energy, and the desire to please. This was one eager student! Maybe even more eager than Estel had been!

 

“More than ready!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Erestor shook his head at seeing Ecthelion’s tense shoulders. The arrow – not surprisingly – missed its target. “Try it this way.” Coming up from behind the younger Elf, he remained standing behind him, and steadied his arm. “You need to take the wind and the speed of the arrow into consideration.”

 

Ecthelion trembled, feeling Erestor this close to him. The elder Elf’s breath caressed his hair whilst Erestor talked and the soft movement of air made him tense up even more. How was he supposed to concentrate when Erestor was this close and distracting him? The attraction he had realized that morning was increasing and he had found himself blushing during their archery practice. He had to admit that Erestor knew what he was talking about. The elder Elf had demonstrated some impressive hits and Ecthelion was eager to learn, but Erestor’s presence was making that hard.

 

/Oh, why did I have to think that?/ A certain part of him was growing hard. He released the arrow and it even hit its target, for which Ecthelion felt grateful, for now Erestor stepped away from him and he felt like he could finally breathe again.

 

This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. How was he supposed to be a good student when Erestor was such a distraction?

 

Erestor had registered Ecthelion’s unease at having him that close, but was at a loss to explain it. Ecthelion had snuggled up to him last night and now it seemed he couldn’t bear having him close. What was he missing? What had happened during the night? /I did not misbehave in any way, did I? Did I offend him somehow?/  

Puzzled, Erestor decided not to question Ecthelion just yet and to give the younger Elf some personal time and space. They had practically been joined at the hip since his arrival.

 

“That was much better,” said Erestor, praising his student. “And with that shot today’s archery lesson ends.” He heard the distinct sigh of relief  that Ecthelion released and again he wondered about that. “Maybe you would like to go to the Sea for a swim? Or make up for the morning run you missed?”

 

Ecthelion seemed tempted to do just that, but there was a question in his gray eyes that demanded an answer first. Erestor obliged him. “I need to write some letters to Lord Elrond and his family. I will meet you again for dinner.” Again, Ecthelion seemed relieved. /Most odd./

 

Erestor watched Ecthelion take off in a run. /He is running away from me in more ways than one. Why?/ Erestor was at a loss to explain this and sat down on the grass, allowing Arien to warm him. A soft breeze played hide and seek with strands of his long hair and he focused within. What had he done to drive Ecthelion away?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Ecthelion returned to the cottage that evening – just in time for dinner – he had regained control over his raging emotions. Running and swimming had allowed him to release his pent-up energy and he felt much calmer now. He also realized he owed Erestor an apology for the way he had taken off. But apologizing also held the danger of Erestor requesting they discussed this matter. And discussing his growing attraction was something Ecthelion wasn’t prepared to do yet. So, in the end, he hoped that Erestor would let the matter rest and not question him.

 

“Ah, there you are. You are just in time.” Erestor placed dinner on the table and gestured for Ecthelion to join him. “I was about to go looking for you.” Studying his charge, he found that Ecthelion appeared more composed. A lot of tension had left the younger Elf’s body.

 

Although Ecthelion was hungry, seeing Erestor’s worried expression almost took his appetite away. /He is worried about me,/ he realized, feeling guilty. But he still wasn’t ready to discuss what really troubled him. Instead, he opted for distraction. “I have had time to think and I was hoping you would teach me how to play the flute.”

 

Erestor arched an eyebrow, remembering the sound of flutes had brought on Ecthelion’s nightmares before. “Do you think that wise?”

 

Ecthelion’s expression darkened. “Maybe not, as I do not own a flute. Only a lyre.” But he remembered seeing a flute in Erestor’s room. Would the elder Elf lend it to him?

 

“You can use mine.” Erestor hadn’t expected this question and realized Ecthelion had given their conversation a different turn than he had intended. Not allowing his charge to distract him any longer, Erestor asked, “Did I offend you in any way last night? This morning you acted... differently.”

 

Ecthelion swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of his rising nervousness now that Erestor seemed determined to address his behavior. He knew it wasn’t the right to do – to lie – but felt he had no other option left. “Yesterday, before we went to sleep you revealed so much to me.” He even dared raising his eyes to meet Erestor’s dark ones. “I am still trying to accept everything you told me. It makes me feel unbalanced and aye, I have been acting oddly because of it.”

 

/That is *not* the truth,/ knew Erestor instinctively, but he didn’t want to question Ecthelion further – not yet. “I will teach you the flute,” he said eventually, “And if you desire so, I will tell you more about Imladris.”

 

“And Mirkwood as well? They never told me much about that realm.”

 

Erestor nodded. “Aye, Mirkwood as well. And Thranduil.”

 

Ecthelion had heard that name before and nodded enthusiastically. “Please do.”

 

“Then seat yourself near the fireplace and I will join you in a moment.” Erestor watched Ecthelion snuggle beneath the blanket he had put on the couch. The tension that had tormented Ecthelion earlier that day was gone now. /Let us hope it will stay that way./ He had no desire to alienate Ecthelion. If only he knew what he had done wrong in the first place!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

How they had ever drifted from discussing Mirkwood to his personal life would always remain a riddle to Erestor, who suddenly found himself facing personal questions.

 

Ecthelion knew he was being bold – forward even – but he wanted to know! “Is your family still in Imladris? And don’t they miss you?”

 

Erestor drew in a deep, steadying breath. He sensed Ecthelion’s honest interest in him and found himself answering the questions. “I do not have any family left, Ecthelion. But thankfully Lord Elrond accepted me into his.”

 

Saddened, Ecthelion bowed his head, realizing he had unwillingly opened old wounds. “You are all alone? What about your parents?”

 

“Their fëar left for the Halls of Waiting a long time ago, Ecthelion, and I never had any siblings.” Surprisingly enough, he felt comfortable discussing this.

 

“And you do not have any children either,” recalled Ecthelion. Biting his bottom lip, he asked the one question that had been on his mind for the entire day. “Do you have a beloved in Imladris?”

 

Erestor’s eyes widened at the unexpected question. Where had that come from?

 

“I apologize if I am being forward, but I found myself wondering…” Ecthelion gave Erestor a pleading look.

 

Erestor studied Ecthelion in turn. Although the question put to him was highly personal and not to mention inappropriate, he couldn’t find a reason not to answer it. “I do not have a mate, Ecthelion.”

 

“But you had one once?” Hadn’t Erestor mentioned having nightmares about losing his beloved at the War of the Last Alliance?

 

“I do not wish to discuss my past,” Erestor said in a stern voice, drawing the line. His past was his – and too personal to share.

 

Ecthelion took the hint and grew quiet – for the moment. At least he now had the answer he had craved to learn. Erestor was still available. Why that mattered so much to him, he didn’t know. It wasn’t like the elder Elf would ever be interested in someone as young as him. But it still made him hopeful that he might win Erestor’s heart one day.

 

/What am I thinking?/ Ecthelion's eyes widened, as he fully realized what direction his thoughts were taking. /I am an Elfling to him! I have not reached my majority yet! And to make things even worse, he is my tutor. They entrusted me to him! I cannot fall in love with him! And what is love? Is it merely lusting after him? Or is it wanting to fall asleep in his arms… Inhaling his scent and…/ His thoughts took off in a hundred directions simultaneously, leaving him dazed and confused.

 

Erestor was at a loss as well, wondering what was wrong with his charge. One moment Ecthelion had been talking to him and now the expression in those gray eyes told him that the younger Elf’s thoughts had strayed far away. What was he supposed to do? In the end, he took hold of the flute and began to play a reassuring and comforting melody, hoping to draw Ecthelion out of the trance he had fallen in.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“That was beautiful.” When Ecthelion had first registered the flute he had almost panicked, worried as he was that the sound would spark unpleasant memories, but nothing like that had happened. Surprised, he wondered about the weak blush that appeared on Erestor’s cheeks.

 

“Elrond composed it millennia ago.” Elrond had composed it for a reason though; the melody had been designed to soothe him when he had learned of the death of his lover. Elrond had stayed with him during those first few trying nights and had pulled him through.

 

“Do you compose music yourself?”

 

“I used to, but that was a long time ago,” said Erestor, trying to remember his compositions.

 

“Would you play one of your songs for me?”

 

“I am not certain I still remember one… So much time has passed.” Erestor shook his head, and handed the flute to Ecthelion, instead of complying with the younger Elf’s request. “I will teach you the basics of playing the flute. You will be composing your own music shortly.”

 

Dazed, Ecthelion stared at the silver instrument that now rested in his hands. Memories, sounds, songs and music raced through his mind and when he put the flute against his lips, his fingers moved without thinking.

 

Erestor listened entranced to the magical music that echoed through the living room. And he had thought Ecthelion still needed to learn how to play the flute! Pressing deeper into the comfort of the couch, he surrendered to the beauty of the music, allowing it to take him away from here and to relive the enchantment Glorfindel must have felt when listening to this master flutist.

 

The music ended and Ecthelion tore himself away from the wonder that had befallen him. Looking at Erestor, he saw an ecstatic impression in the brown eyes. His music had apparently pleased the elder Elf and that made Ecthelion proud in turn.

 

“You are the master, and I am the humble student,” said Erestor, eventually, blinking once.

 

Ecthelion blushed intensely at hearing Erestor paying him such a compliment. “I do not know what happened. My fingers moved automatically. I was not thinking.”

 

“Maybe some of your former skill has returned,” offered Erestor. “You were one of the most talented musicians on Arda in your first life.”

 

“So you enjoyed listening to my music?” Ecthelion met Erestor’s gaze, in spite of the fact that he was still blushing.

 

“Oh, I enjoyed it very much. I hope you will play again for me some day.”

 

“Maybe tomorrow evening?”

 

Erestor nodded once. “I would like that.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The awkward silence returned when it was time to retire for the night. They stood in the corridor, in front of the door to Ecthelion’s room, and Erestor felt nervous. Too nervous to offer to keep Ecthelion company during the night, remembering the odd behavior the younger Elf had displayed for most of the day. “What do you wish for, Ecthelion? Do you want me close tonight or…?”

 

Ecthelion felt cornered. “I would like that, but…” Horrified, he realized he had spoken that what he had only wanted to think. Fortunately he had caught himself just in time before saying /but I am afraid I will embarrass us by growing hard again. I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable./

 

Making up his mind, Ecthelion opened the door, entered his room, and then stepped aside to let Erestor enter.

 

Erestor wondered about Ecthelion’s behavior, but his instincts told him not to address it.

 

They undressed in silence and Erestor slipped between the covers first. Ecthelion followed a moment later, but his movement was hesitant and, Erestor registered, strangely shy. Such timidity was new to Ecthelion. What was making the younger Elf act in this way?

 

Whilst Ecthelion had snuggled up to him last night, the Elf now balanced precariously on the other side of the bed. Erestor repressed a sigh and shook his head, something that Ecthelion couldn’t see as the younger Elf was on his side, back turned toward him.

 

Something profound had changed between them since last night and Erestor was at a loss to explain it. He realized there was only one way to find out what was troubling Ecthelion. /I will have to ask him./ There was no way out of discussing this.

 

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