A Mortal Love

Hesitant sunbeams touched his face, bringing a forgotten warmth, and Legolas stirred. His eyes fluttered as he woke and he stared into Aragorn's green ones. Why was Aragorn this close? Then he remembered wading into the stream and Aragorn joining him. He had let Aragorn comfort him when he shouldn't have.

"I am well again," Legolas said quickly, seeing concern in Aragorn's eyes. He wanted to sit upright and distance himself but Aragorn's hand settled on his chest, keeping him in place. Why was Aragorn stopping him?

"Do you truly feel better?" Aragorn carefully studied his friend. Legolas' eyes were still troubled by the horror he had witnessed. Aragorn quietly watched Legolas, losing himself in the midnight blue eyes. "We still have a few moments before the ceremony starts. Would you like to eat or drink something?"

Legolas shook his head. The mere thought of food made him nauseous. "I want to get going... The surviving 'Lorien Elves will need all the support they can get."

Aragorn nodded once. "Please remember that I am at your side. You do not have to do this alone."

Legolas' eyes narrowed, finding Arwen's pendant gone. "What happened to the pendant? Did you lose it? I can help you search for it." The pendant meant a lot to Aragorn, and to be without it must surely pain his friend.

Aragorn paled slightly. "I did not lose it." Seeing Legolas' patient expression, he sighed and continued. "I removed it."

Legolas' warm eyes, however, asked a different question, one he didn't dare answer yet. /Aye, I love you, but I cannot speak those words yet./ Aragorn removed his hand and allowed Legolas to get to his feet. "Arwen is sailing to Valinor where she will live forever in the Undying Lands. I have to let her go. I tried to return the pendant to her, but she wanted me to keep it. I decided against wearing it any longer. My heart mourns the loss, but I also know that she wants me not to grieve."

Legolas lowered his eyes, wondering what this meant. Aragorn had let Arwen go? "Why?"

Aragorn swallowed nervously, realizing his answer didn't satisfy Legolas. "Why what?"

"Why let her go? Arwen and you are connected through a very strong love. I cannot believe you would let her go, even if it meant Arwen would live forever."

/Does he know?/ wondered Aragorn. /Does Legolas know I am in love with him? Nay, that cannot be; I never showed my feelings!/ Aragorn got to his feet and met Legolas' inquisitive stare, realizing it was time he revealed part of the truth. "I am in love with someone else."

Legolas nodded thoughtfully, beginning to understand. "You choose Éowyn over Arwen?"

Aragorn involuntarily held his breath; his secret remained safe. Briefly he had been worried that Legolas had realized the truth. "She would suit me better. She is a warrior, and mortal. She would not have to sacrifice her immortality." He complimented himself. /Legolas, you did not ask if Éowyn is the one I am in love with. You merely asked if I would choose her over Arwen.../

"Elrond already knows. He spoke to me in my dreams..." Aragorn fell into step beside Legolas. "I still love Arwen, Legolas, but we cannot be together."

Legolas felt mentally exhausted. Why was he still tormenting himself, hoping to eventually win Aragorn's love when the Man was attracted to females? He had to stop deluding himself. "Does Éowyn know yet?"

Aragorn suddenly noticed the wary tone to Legolas' voice and probed the Elf's eyes. /He looks defeated... Maybe I should reveal my feelings instead of misleading him? But nay, I cannot. First we must fight this war and defeat Sauron. And maybe, should we both survive, I will tell him... I am not sure if I am reading him right, but it almost looks like he has feelings for me as well. By Elbereth, what if I am wrong? Would I destroy our friendship? Am I willing to take that risk? Nay, not yet.../

"Aragorn?" Legolas stopped walking, wondering about the distant expression on Aragorn's face. He understood that the Man felt worried, but he had never seen Aragorn this distracted before. "Do you fear she won't return your feelings? I saw her look at you and I..."

Aragorn interrupted him. "I do not wish to talk about her. I want to talk about --you--. How are you coping with so much pain?"

Legolas didn't expect the change in subject and shrugged slowly. "I can barely believe it really happened..." His voice died at the sight of over a hundred funeral pyres. "They arrived at the Halls of Waiting at Mandos. Maybe their souls will be re-embodied. Maybe not." A great sadness overwhelmed him, but he managed to hold back his tears.

Aragorn's heart twisted as well, fully realizing for the first time how few of the 'Lorien Elves had survived. "They will always be remembered."

Legolas remained quiet, as the surviving archers joined them. He counted forty of them and his heart bled for them. They had lost friends, brothers, fathers, sons maybe even lovers. The grief was palpable as they gathered near the first funeral pyre.

"What will happen now?" Aragorn rested his hand at the small of Legolas' back. Looking at Legolas he found that the Elf was blindly staring at the corpses.

"Haldir will be asked to light a torch and in his absence Lord Elrond might be asked to light the first pyre..." Legolas wiped at the first tears that made it down his face. Several other Elves softly cried as well, and one started an ancient lament. One by one, the Elves joined in, until the lament became strong and haunting.

Aragorn watched Legolas' lips move as well, but no sound left the Elf's lips. Acting instinctively, he wrapped an arm around the blond's waist and encouraged Legolas to lean on him, lending his friend all the support and strength he needed. Deeply moved, he stared at the pyres, regretting that the cost was this high. What had possessed Elrond to do this?

Letting go of his musings, he focused on Legolas once more. The lament came to a sudden stop and the blond swayed on his feet. Aragorn folded his other arm around Legolas' shoulders and held him close. No one spoke and he didn't want to disturb the silence, waiting patiently for either Haldir or Elrond to join them.

Éomer had woken some time ago, and was watching the pyres multiply as more wood was gathered. The 'Lorien Elves placed their dead on the pyres, said their last goodbyes and then moved on to the next pyre. The sight made his heart crumble. Such beauty wasn't supposed to burn.

Standing near the window, his gaze shifted from the pyres to Haldir, whose sleep was restless and shallow. The Guardian had awoke with a start a few times, calling out for Rumil and Orophin - names that meant nothing to him, but seemed important to Haldir. Now the injured Elf stirred once more and exhausted eyes came to rest on him. He made his way over to the bed and sat down, watching Haldir closely. The Elf still looked pale and a sheen of cold sweat had formed on his forehead.

"Who are calling you?" Following his instincts and Elrond's instructions to touch Haldir as often as possible, he placed his hand on Haldir's brow.

Éomer absentmindedly rubbed the damp skin beneath his fingertips, realizing how quickly he had become used to caring for Haldir and finding him close. Now the haunted tone of Haldir's voice added to his worries. "While you were asleep you called out for a certain Rumil and Orophin. I never heard those names before."

"I called out for my brothers then..." Haldir briefly closed his eyes, longing to be reunited with them.

Éomer barely dared to ask his next question for he feared the answer. "Are they among the dead?"

Haldir's eyes flashed open. "Nay," he said softly, relieved that he had forbidden his brothers to join the army of archers. "They remained at Lothlorien to serve the Lord and the Lady."

Éomer felt slightly reassured. "Take comfort in the fact that they are alive then." The unwelcome knock on the door annoyed him, but he rose to his feet and opened the door. He wasn't surprised to find Elrond and Glorfindel waiting for him. Another Elf had joined them, one he didn't know, but he wore the same clothes that Haldir had worn when they had taken him to the Great Hall.

"Haldir must light the torch," explained Elrond in a heavy tone. Now that Haldir was unable to light the pyres, Elrond would perform that duty, but it weighed heavily on his heart.

"Aye, I will do it..." Haldir struggled upright, but he broke out in a cold sweat when pain and dizziness swept through him.

Éomer returned to the bed and supported Haldir, as the Elf found it hard to remain upright. "What are they talking about?"

"The torch will set fire to the pyres, and it is tradition that their leader performs this duty. But, as you pointed out earlier, I cannot walk yet, and I cannot light the first pyre. Therefore Lord Elrond will carry the torch." Haldir felt exhausted and it was getting harder to speak. Even the simple act of breathing wore him down and caused him pain. He loathed asking the Man's help when he should be doing this personally, but he lacked the strength. "Would you light the torch?" Haldir stifled a pain filled yelp, and didn't object when Éomer gently lowered him on to his right side.

"I feel honored to do this for you." Éomer nodded once to reassure Haldir and took the torch to the fireplace. Carrying the burning torch back to the bed, he reached for Haldir's hand and curled the Elf's fingers around the wood.

Haldir swallowed hard, wondering how much strength he had left. "My lord Elrond? Would you take my place and perform this task for 'Lorien?"

Elrond nodded, approached, and stood silently next to the bed. He accepted the torch when Haldir handed it to him, and bowed respectfully. "I will see to your men, Haldir. Rest easy and trust in me. I will light the first pyre and stay with the Elves of 'Lorien until the last fire has died."

Elrond met Haldir's eyes, assuring him that everything would be taken care of. He then looked at Éomer, pleased that the Man was finally taking proper care of Haldir.

Haldir watched the door close behind Elrond and he closed his eyes, trying to hold back tears which he refused to cry in front of the Man. The haunting lament reached his ears and his eyes opened, finding the window, but he looked away again, unable to see the pyres.

"I can move you to the window where you can watch the ceremony," offered Éomer, touched by the lines of pain etched on to Haldir's brow.

Haldir's eyes showed his gratitude when he couldn't find the words to thank Éomer for his offer.

Éomer inclined his head in understanding and slowly, gently, pushed his hands beneath Haldir's neck and knees. A groan escaped Haldir and Éomer mumbled an apology, regretting inflicting more pain. Carefully, he lifted Haldir and carried him over to the window where he placed him in a comfortable chair. After pushing the window ajar, he stood next to Haldir, suddenly feeling the urge to touch the Elf. Uncertain whether his touch would be welcomed, he slowly rested his hand on Haldir's shoulder. Haldir didn't react and Éomer glanced at the Elf's back now that the robes had partially slipped. To his utter surprise, he found that the wound had stopped bleeding, and had even closed!

Haldir felt Éomer's eyes upon him, but didn't comment on it. His full attention should be with his fallen brethren. His heart cried out in agony, seeing only so few had survived. This loss would never leave him and haunt him for the rest of his life.

Elrond solemnly walked toward the 'Lorien Elves, noticing Legolas and Aragorn among them. He briefly met their gazes and then focused on his task. Glorfindel suddenly fell back, no longer walking beside him. Elrond looked at the blond, saw the lowered eyes and quickly grabbed Glorfindel's wrist, pulling him beside him once more. /I will not let you do this now. You have every right to be at my side as my equal. I may be unable to openly acknowledge I love you, but we both know the truth; I --need-- you./

Glorfindel was startled, seeing the dark gleam to Elrond's eyes. An echo of Elrond's thoughts suddenly swept through him, leaving him mystified. He had never heard any of Elrond's thoughts before... but it was not unheard of among the Eldar. Knowing Elrond needed him, he fell into step again, this time staying at Elrond's side.

Elrond frowned, wondering what had happened. For a moment it had felt like he had touched Glorfindel's mind - but he had never been able to do that before, so why would he be able to reach out now? He put these thoughts aside for the moment, concentrating on the ceremony. Reaching the first pyre, he started a soft lament, hoping to ease the pain of the survivors. Glorfindel joined in and so did Legolas and the 'Lorien Elves. Lowering the torch, he set the first pyre on fire.

His eyes shifted to Legolas; seeing the younger Elf's pallor worried him. Legolas trembled and his eyes released a river of tears. Elrond's eyes narrowed when Aragorn tightened his hold on Legolas, pulling him close. /What is it that lies in his green eyes? Are they friends or would Estel want it to be more? That expression in his eyes... Celebrian looked at me like that and now Glorfindel does. I thought Estel loved Arwen... Was I wrong?/

He continued to study Aragorn's posture, his expression, the way the Man's hand rested at the small of Legolas' back. /Why did I not notice before? Estel is in love with Legolas... Is that the reason why he released Arwen from her promise that easily? Is it because his heart belongs to Legolas? I should be angry with him, but my heart rejoices for it means Arwen will sail to Valinor. But what about Legolas? Does he return Estel's feelings? If he does, do I dare meddle in this affair?/

Elrond moved on to the second pyre and then the third, but his thoughts remained with Aragorn and Legolas. It was hard to tell if Legolas returned Aragorn's feelings because he was mourning their dead, but the way the blond leaned into Aragorn's touch did tell Elrond something. /I will watch them carefully. If Legolas returns Estel's feelings I might be able to mediate.../

Glorfindel's voice pulled him from his musings and soft, reassuring words left his lips as he started a second lament. His melodic voice echoed through the fires, comforting the survivors. Moving on, he lit the other pyres as well, always moving slowly and dignified. Looking up, he found Haldir sitting near a window, watching silently. Tears flowed down the Guardian's cheeks.

Needing some comfort himself, his gaze returned to Aragorn and Legolas and found them locked in an embrace. Legolas had averted his eyes and his head now rested on Aragorn's shoulders. Aragorn had wrapped his arms around the blond, soothingly rubbing his back. /Aye, I do believe Legolas loves Estel as well. Arwen's future is now secure and she will sail for Valinor, but ai, I want to see Estel happy as well. He is as a son to me. Maybe I can find a way for them to admit their feelings.../

"Elrond?" Glorfindel was getting worried, seeing the brooding expression in Elrond's eyes. Now that all pyres burned, he took the torch from Elrond's hand and handed it to the 'Lorien Elf who had accompanied them to Éomer's room. "You look tired. Would you like to retire to your room now?"

Elrond's piercing eyes settled on Glorfindel, who shuffled his feet, feeling nervous being the subject of that stare. "My lord?"

"Aye, we will retire. There is something I need to discuss with you, Glorfindel." Elrond could tell that his words made Glorfindel uncomfortable, but he wanted to explain himself in the privacy of their rooms, not here.

Elrond turned to the 'Lorien Elves, bowed and then signaled Glorfindel to follow him. "Did you see Haldir at the window?"

"Aye, I did. You should talk to Éomer. Haldir is not yet strong enough to be moved."

"I think he will recover quickly. It seems like Éomer is beginning to care about Haldir... As I hoped he would."

"You foresaw this?" Elrond's manipulations would never seize to amaze him. The Lord of Imladris was a master at scheming.

Elrond shrugged. "Éomer is an honorable man. He has a bit of a temper, but so does Haldir. I think they are evenly matched."

Glorfindel had to agree. "Do you plan to stay until Haldir's injuries have healed, or do you wish to return to Imladris at once?"

They entered the corridor that would take them to their guest rooms. "Aye, Glorfindel, we will stay a little longer. There are certain matters I need to look into."

Glorfindel opened the door and stepped aside to let Elrond pass. "What else is troubling you?"

Elrond walked over to the window and sat down. Leaning back his head, he studied Glorfindel. "Did you watch Legolas and Estel?"

"I noticed they were present, but..." Glorfindel closed the door and remained standing near the bed, waiting for Elrond to continue. He knew that particular look; the half-Elf was plotting again! "Tell me what is on your mind." Elrond had never seemed this distant before, and his heart filled with sadness, realizing something he desperately craved was so close and yet so far away. /Stop it. You will never have his love!/

"Did you notice the way Estel looked at Legolas? Or the way he was holding the Prince? I know now why he set Arwen free." Elrond got to his feet and slowly paced the room. "I believe Estel loves Legolas."

Glorfindel frowned. "That never occurred to me." But he figured that this discovery would please Elrond. If Aragorn loved someone else Arwen was truly free to travel to Valinor. "I did not know Aragorn fancied males as well..."

"Neither did I, but that means nothing..." Elrond looked at the blond and wished he could put his arms around Glorfindel and pull him as close as Aragorn had Legolas. But nay, his fears were still too strong. He didn't dare lose another loved one. It was safer to distance himself. "I want to make sure they become lovers..."

"As far as I am concerned Estel and Arwen are no longer betrothed, but there is already so much pain and terror in this world that I want to give this love a chance. I doubt Estel will ever tell Legolas, so we must find a way for my foster son to admit his love for the Prince."

"How do you want to accomplish that?" Glorfindel leaned against the wall, and stared at Elrond in shock. /The Valar help them if Elrond's mind is set on this./ Legolas and Aragorn wouldn't stand a chance against a manipulative Elrond!

"What?" Glorfindel's eyes widened in shock. "You cannot be serious! He is a Prince of Mirkwood! I cannot play with his feelings!'

Elrond grinned. "I want you to make Aragorn jealous so he will act on his feelings."

Glorfindel's pleading tone caused Elrond's heart to miss a beat. He walked toward the blond and placed his hands on Glorfindel's shoulders. "I am certain they love each other, meldir. Do you not want them to be together? Without you making Estel jealous my foster son won't tell Legolas... or do you want them to suffer from an unrequited love for the rest of their lives?"

Glorfindel's eyes darkened. "You do not play fair, my lord." Elrond was now manipulating him as well, hinting at his own unrequited love. /Aye, I want them to be together. I cannot have you, but Estel can and will have Legolas... --if-- the attraction is mutual./

Elrond tensed and hissed softly, receiving an echo of Glorfindel's thoughts. He looked up sharply, but it appeared that Glorfindel hadn't noticed anything was wrong. /Then he cannot hear my thoughts. I am on the only one aware of this connection. Why is it manifesting now?/

A gentle caress made Glorfindel wonder. Elrond wasn't touching him... It was a caress to the mind, which felt more intimate than anything he had ever experienced before. Was Elrond the source of this caress? Glorfindel sighed deeply. "I will do your bidding, my lord."

Elrond felt displeased, hearing Glorfindel address him like this. /You should be whispering different words, words that speak of your love for me. If only I could put my fears aside... I do not want Estel to make the same mistake I made - am still making - by turning away the one who loves me./ Elrond cupped Glorfindel's chin in the palm of his hand and forced the blond to look at him. "The ceremony tired me. I need to rest."

"It was exhausting," agreed Glorfindel, feeling emotionally drained as well. "Please lie down."

Elrond saw regret in those azure eyes and acted on it. "You will rest as well." Glorfindel headed toward the chair, but Elrond stopped him. "I thought I made it clear that the chair is not acceptable?"

"My lord, it is hardly appropriate that I share your bed. I will ask one of the servants if there is a spare room where I can rest."

Suddenly Elrond panicked and he grabbed Glorfindel's wrists roughly. "Nay, you are --not-- leaving me!" Realizing he had raised his voice, his eyes widened. "Glorfindel, I..." He released the blond's wrists, gathered his robes close and turned abruptly, unable to meet Glorfindel's knowing gaze. "I apologize..."

Glorfindel's voice was soft when he spoke. "My lord... Nay, Elrond, I understand. I lost loved ones as well and I know the pain that accompanies the loss." He wasn't sure he should continue, but did anyway. "But your loss will be much greater if you do not love again. Then you will be truly alone."

Glorfindel boldly placed his hands on Elrond's hips and forced the half-Elf to turn around and look at him. "Meldir, I love you and you know that. I also suspect that you love me as well, but you are scared to lose me after admitting your feelings to me. Life is fragile, Elrond, and even the Firstborn can die. Nothing is eternal. We could be dead tomorrow..."

A lump had formed in Elrond's throat, making it hard for him to speak. "Will you stay with me? I cannot be alone now."

Glorfindel gently gathered Elrond's hands in his and led the raven-haired half-Elf to the bed. "Lie down and let me guard your dreams."

Elrond obeyed and pulled Glorfindel close, wrapping an arm around the blond. Suddenly it was very important to him to keep Glorfindel close.

Glorfindel stroked the dark hair, and whispered soft reassurances. "I will not leave you, Elrond. I vowed to stay at your side as long as I live. I will always be there for you. Now rest." Elrond's behavior puzzled Glorfindel. Why had Elrond acted the way he had? The half-Elf had pushed him away one moment, and had then ordered him to stay the next. /He is emotionally drained, and the ceremony made it worse./

Elrond listened to Glorfindel's breathing, feeling the blond's chest rise rhythmically. He clung to the blond, hoping Glorfindel would chase his fears away.

Legolas stood staring at the dying flames, unaware of the tight hold that Aragorn had on him. Without the Man's support, his knees would have given out beneath him. Leaning against Aragorn, he simply enjoyed feeling someone warm close to him. The fires didn't seem to radiate any warmth, in spite of the flames.

The 'Lorien Elves were still present as well, hoping their loved ones had taken their rightful place at the Halls of Waiting at Mandos. Suddenly the urge to run overwhelmed him, but when he tried to do so, strong arms kept him back. He blinked once, and only then realized how strong Aragorn's hold on him was. His eyes focused and once more strayed to Aragorn's chest. He still wondered about the missing pendant. When he had questioned Aragorn, the Man had given him half truths, staying clear of the real reason why he had set Arwen free. He wondered if Aragorn would ever tell him the real reason for releasing Arwen.

"Would you like to rest?" asked Aragorn, concerned about the Elf. He felt the lithe body shake and sway and pulled Legolas close. The ceremony demanded a high toll from all involved. Elrond and Glorfindel had already retired and he wanted Legolas to leave as well. The smell of burned flesh was horrible and the heat that emanated from the pyres almost made him nauseous. "I'd prefer to spend some hours in the guest rooms."

Legolas nodded absentmindedly. He wasn't thinking rationally, being consumed by memories of the burning pyres. Would he ever be able to banish those thoughts from his mind?

Aragorn suddenly pulled him along and Legolas' feet automatically carried him inside the keep, letting the Man guide him. Tears still slipped from his eyes and he no longer made the effort to wipe them away. The tears didn't seem to stop... Would they ever?

Aragorn opened the door to his guest room, guided Legolas to the bed and then closed the door again. When he returned, Legolas was still standing beside the bed, not having moved at all. "Lie down, my friend," whispered Aragorn in a concerned tone. He gently folded an arm around Legolas, and, whilst lying down himself, he pulled Legolas along until they both rested comfortably. Looking at Legolas' eyes, he saw they had turned vacant. /He was half asleep on his feet already./

Shivering, Aragorn pulled up the covers and tucked them in. Thoughts of Arwen and Éowyn were gone; he no longer had an interest in the two women. All that mattered was the Elf in his arms, and he marveled at how easy it was to touch Legolas, to hold and comfort him. He wanted to never let go again.

Haldir's eyes were distant and swimming with tears when Éomer got a closer look at him. The fire had died, and he was moving forward to close the window when Haldir's soft, protesting moan reached his ears. He closed the window irregardless and then moved to the silver-haired Elf. "It's growing cold and I do not want your condition to deteriorate. I will move you back to the bed where you can rest."

The fact that Haldir didn't react worried him even more. Until now the 'Lorien Elf had done his best to protest his every intention, but as he lifted Haldir, he found that he was being ignored. He was tempted to ask Lord Elrond to drop by, but he had seen the raven-haired Lord of Imladris move slowly among the pyres, equally affected as Haldir.

He placed Haldir on the bed and used the opportunity to check the Elf's back. Involuntarily he sucked in his breath. The wound had closed and was healing. Elrond had mentioned that his presence would help Haldir recover, but he hadn't taken Elrond's words that literally!

Éomer was about to rise again when Haldir's fingers curled themselves around his wrist, keeping him from leaving. He sighed and managed to make eye contact with Haldir. "Do not worry. I will stay." The words seemed to ease Haldir's spirit, and the Guardian released Éomer's wrist again.

Lying down behind Haldir, Éomer found himself stroking the silver locks. /Only a few days ago I didn't even know Haldir existed, and now he is quickly becoming a part of my life... I don't want to admit it, but I like him fighting me over everything. I don't like this subdued mood he is in. I'll give him a few hours to rest, but then we will talk.../

Legolas stared at the ceiling. He had woken about an hour ago and had watched the sun set behind dark clouds. A red moon rose, speaking of bloodshed and reflecting the dying fires, which had been burned into his memory. Legolas briefly closed his eyes and was instantly attacked by images of the burning pyres. Elven souls had swiftly traveled to Mandos, and although they had hopefully found peace in death, the living hadn't.

Aragorn's voice alerted him that he wasn't alone. The Man hadn't left his side; shouldn't Aragorn be planning their next move and be talking to King Théoden instead of spending time with him? But he loved Aragorn for realizing that he needed this attention, this comfort. He didn't want to move, but it was time to get a grasp on his emotions. He couldn't simply let go the entire time. Saruman and Sauron still lurked in the darkness, ready to claim the Ring when no one expected it. /Frodo... is the Halfling still alive?/

Aragorn stirred when Legolas sat upright and the Elf smiled warmly at his friend. Aragorn's support meant a lot to him. /You are compassionate... That is one reason why I love you... but there are so many other reasons... You are cunning, daring, courageous... and the best friend one could wish for./ His mask slipped briefly and love shone from his sparkling eyes, staring at Aragorn. /I will be a burden no longer. I will grieve in silence so you can turn your attention to defeating Saruman and Sauron./

Aragorn silently watched Legolas. "Do you feel better now? Attending the ceremony tired you."

"Aye, I feel better now," whispered Legolas thoughtfully. "And now it is time to look to the future."

The pain in Legolas' eyes was still palpable; the Elf was putting up a front for his sake. Aragorn sighed. "We still have some days left before we leave for Gondor. You can take your time to mourn."

Legolas silently stared at him. Aragorn's green eyes shone strong and with determination, and the Elf knew Aragorn had already carefully planned their next move. Gondor. They were leaving for Gondor. Would they meet any of Boromir's kin?

Legolas shifted on the bed, rose and looked out of the window. He felt thankful that it looked out on the stream and not on the last remnants of the pyres. His heart would have burned at seeing the ashes. But his heart also burned for another reason. "Will you talk to the Lady Éowyn before we leave?"

Aragorn frowned, but then recalled that he had let Legolas believe it was Éowyn he craved. "Maybe, if time allows it, but I far more worry about --you--." Legolas' back was toward him, making it impossible to read the expression on the blond's face.

Legolas' eyes widened at hearing admit Aragorn his concern that openly. He had expected Aragorn to be concerned about him at the ceremony, but now that it was over... "Do not worry about me, Aragorn. Their deaths will never be forgotten and their courageous deeds remembered, but another day has begun and we have a task to perform. We must stop Saruman and Sauron." Legolas turned to face Aragorn. "And you still have my bow."

Aragorn slowly inclined his head. "Then I would ask of you to stay at my side for the rest of our journey..."

Aragorn got to his feet as well, stretched, and straightened out his clothes. "We should check on Elrond and Haldir. I worry about both of them. I will talk to Éomer and Haldir. Will you look in on Elrond and Glorfindel? I want to leave for Gondor as quickly as possible, but I need Théoden and Éomer there as well."

"And Éomer cannot leave until Haldir has sufficiently healed," realized Legolas. A thoughtful expression appeared in his eyes. "Why do you think Éomer volunteered to bring Haldir back from Mandos? I am grateful he did, but Éomer stepping forward still puzzles me."

Aragorn headed for the door. "It was a matter of honor to Éomer. The Elves had come to our defense here at Helm's Deep, and he wanted to repay them."

"Do you really think that is all there is to it?" Legolas followed Aragorn into the corridor, distracting himself with these questions so he did not have to remember the death of the 'Lorien Elves.

"I am not sure," admitted Aragorn. "What really puzzled me was Elrond's willingness to accept Éomer's offer. I was sure he would refuse."

Aragorn sighed. Éomer's room was located in the opposite direction of Elrond's; this was where their paths separated... for now. "We will meet in Théoden's hall later."

"Aye." Legolas tried to hide his longing, looking at Aragorn. But then the Man turned and headed for Éomer's room. /You are a fool, Legolas. You still hope to conquer Aragorn's heart when it already belongs to the Lady Éowyn.../ Bowing his head, he headed for Elrond's guest quarters.

Haldir was awake, staring at the wall as cries of torment tortured him. He was back on the battle field and the 'Lorien Elves were being slaughtered one by one. He was unable to stop the steady stream of Uruk-Hai when the walls were breached. There were too many of the foul creatures.

His still mending back throbbed, making him twitch uncomfortably. It would take him several days to regain his usual strength and some things had changed forever. He had never felt cold, but now he did. He knew what it meant. His life force was incredibly weak, only sustained by Éomer's. He dreaded to think of what would happen if they ever got separated. Would he be able to survive on his own? /Elrond, why did you do this to me? Why bind me to a mortal and condemn me to this life which is a mere mockery of my former existence?/

Éomer sounded calm and amused, making Haldir shiver. He owed the Man his gratitude. "Thank you for assisting me in lighting the torch."

"I was honored you asked me," admitted Éomer softly. Absentmindedly, his fingers played with a lock of the silver hair. "Your wound has closed and you might try to walk tomorrow. Today, I would prefer you to rest."

"I must be keeping you from your duties." Haldir didn't want to admit it, but he savored the Man's body heat which warmed his cold limbs.

Éomer considered the question. "Maybe, but as long as Théoden remains at the Hornburg I am not needed, not really. The battle is won and we need to rest before challenging the enemy once more."

"We need to discuss this," said Haldir slowly. "But I would prefer to see your face."

Éomer understood, but regretted untangling himself from the silver haired Elf. He rose from the bed, and pulled up a chair, making sure they were able to make eye contact. "Better?"

Haldir nodded once. "Things have changed," he started hesitantly. "For both of us."

"Elrond told me things that worry me," started Éomer, studying Haldir. The hazel eyes pierced his soul and he began to feel uncomfortable beneath their probing. To his utter shock his groin stirred and this trousers suddenly felt too tight. His reaction to Haldir confused him, but he managed to hide it, not wanting Haldir to have the edge over him. "You are stuck with me, Haldir of 'Lorien."

Haldir smiled slowly. "At first that concept did not appeal to me, but your actions proved you to be an honorable Man." Now that he was bound to this Man he had to make the best of it. The alternative was fading slowly - entering the Halls of Mandos - and he now felt too much alive to choose that path. "Maybe we can reach some sort of understanding?"

Éomer nodded thoughtfully, weighing Haldir's words. "Lord Elrond insisted I stayed close to you and his council has proven true. I left once to talk to the King, and when I returned Elrond told me that you had almost reached Mandos. We should stay in close proximity of the other."

"And this does not... vex you?" Haldir saw unease in Éomer's brown eyes. The Man was not as comfortable with this concept as he pretended to be. He regretted invading the Man's life like this, but then again, Éomer had chosen this fate for himself.

Éomer, unable to stay seated any longer, took to pacing the room. "It vexes me that binding myself to you was the only way for you to survive, but I do not regret it."

"You do not regret it yet, but what when your King calls you to his side and you are bound to an Elf? Do you fully realize that I will be your shadow for quite some time?" Haldir sighed. "My heart longs to return to 'Lorien and my men, but I am bound to you as well. Leaving your side means I will die slowly and I do not want to travel to Mandos yet. I cannot return to my people either, yet, and maybe I will never be able to... I am 'stuck' with you as well."

Haldir's words angered Éomer. "Would you have preferred I had not offered my life force?"

Haldir raised an eyebrow at the Man's anger. This one had a temper and it was easily enflamed. "I thank you for saving my life, but the price is very high. Lord Elrond should not have accepted your offer."

"I'm keeping you alive!" exploded Éomer, still pacing the room. "I could have turned the other way when you were dying, but I didn't!" Éomer's fist slammed into his desk. "Do you think I want to be bound to you? I should be with my men, preparing them for battle, but instead I am nursing you back to health!"

The sound of someone clearing his throat made Haldir and Éomer look over to the doorway, where Aragorn stood, grinning at them.

"Your first argument?" Aragorn inquired softly. Haldir and Éomer sounded like an old married couple, and for some reason they warmed his heart. He was beginning to understand why Elrond had accepted Éomer's offer, and hoped that the two men would understand in time as well. Beneath the harsh words hid strong emotions, and he saw them most clearly in Éomer's eyes. The Rohirrin cared more about Haldir than he wanted the Elf to know. /They are evenly matched; they merely need time to figure this out. Elrond never seizes to amaze me. How did he know these two would suit each other that well?/

Aragorn laughed warmly, but quieted when two pair of eyes glared at him. Leaning against the door frame, he simply smiled at them. "Then I foresee a large number of discussions in the future!"

Haldir looked away from Aragorn, but now found Éomer's stare directed at him. "What are you looking at?" The Man utterly annoyed him.

"You should be resting... Éomer's voice was soft and concerned; the complete opposite of how he had sounded a moment ago.

Taken aback by the warmth in it, Haldir remained quiet. It was true; he did feel exhausted, but he would never admit it. Instead, he looked at Aragorn again. "How fare my men? How do they cope with the immense loss?"

"They take great comfort in knowing you are still alive, Haldir," replied Aragorn, noticing how Haldir's eyes began to turn vacant. He slowly approached and then rested his hand on Haldir's shoulder, squeezing gently. "They miss their leader, and they hope you will make a full recovery..." Aragorn cocked his head and smiled. "He fell asleep on me."

Éomer picked up a blanket and placed it on top of Haldir. Aragorn smiled approvingly at the gesture. Éomer's actions revealed his true feelings, ones his lips might still refuse to speak. "You chose well," Aragorn complimented Éomer. "If Elrond had allowed it, I would have bound myself to him... but I am glad he refused."

"Why?" Éomer sat down on the bed, watching Haldir sleep with barely hidden fascination. He didn't want to admit it, but love blossomed in his heart and the object of this growing affection now moved a little closer to him, resting a hand on his knee. Éomer gently took hold of Haldir's hand and rubbed his thumb over the chilly skin.

Aragorn's amusement was growing, watching Éomer. "Because my heart belongs to someone else, and by binding myself I would never have been able to pursue him."

Éomer eyed Aragorn closely, surprised that Aragorn would reveal something that personal to him. "You love a male?" That was unexpected indeed. "I thought you fancied my sister."

Aragorn shrugged apologetically. "Aye, I feel drawn to her, but my heart will never belong to her." Suddenly Éomer tensed and Aragorn wondered what had caused it. Narrowed hazel eyes met his. "Éomer?"

"Does that mean Haldir and you would have become... mates, if Elrond hadn't refused you?"

Aragorn's amusement faded, realizing how little Éomer knew of the way of the Elves. "Aye, Haldir will be your lover as long as you live."

Aragorn's eyes revealed his sympathy. "I fear not. The bond between Haldir and you will increase to grow stronger, deeper. I doubt you will want another lover once Haldir and you become... intimate."

Éomer gulped. "I do not fancy males in that way!" But his body had already betrayed him earlier, growing hard.

Aragorn had a hard time believing that statement, seeing the tenderness with which Éomer was caressing Haldir's skin. "It is understandable that you need time to accept this," he offered, "but give this a chance, Éomer."

Éomer still sat in shock, suddenly realizing he was soothingly rubbing Haldir's knuckles. As if burned, he released the Elf's hand and stepped away from the bed.

Aragorn smiled saddened. "Do not let your fears keep you back." He then turned to leave; Éomer needed time to process this news.

"With one's heart..." Aragorn inclined his head in goodbye, and stepped into the corridor, leaving Éomer alone with his doubts.

Éomer slowly sat down again, and stared at Haldir. "I am supposed to fall in love with you?" Searching his feelings, he realized he had already started to develop feelings for the Elf. "What do I do now?" Confused, he stared at Haldir, wondering when he had lost control over his life... and his feelings.

Elrond stretched after waking from a healing sleep, but he frowned at finding Glorfindel gone. They had gone to sleep together, so why had the blond left? Elrond sat upright, took in his surroundings, and detected noises, which emanated from the bathroom. That explained Glorfindel's absence then; his friend was enjoying a bath.

Elrond rose from the bed and stretched again, hoping to loosen the tense muscles in his back. He had made a fool out of himself by grabbing Glorfindel to make sure that the blond couldn't leave. His fears were starting to overwhelm him and he had to face them sooner or later. He preferred later, but wasn't sure if he could wait that long. What if they grounded themselves in his subconscious and would begin to affect his every decision?

Ah, he needed to splash some water on to his face to chase away those fears; surely Glorfindel wouldn't mind sharing the bathroom with him?

He knocked softly, but didn't receive an answer. He shrugged, and entered the bathroom in search of some cold water.

Warm, almost hot water caressed his skin - or was it not the water, but his flesh, that felt hot to his touch? Glorfindel sighed contently, immersing himself in the warmth. While Elrond had slept, he had hauled some buckets of hot water into the bathroom to fill the bath tub. Now he rested comfortably in the water, allowing himself to let go of the tension that had been building since living Imladris.

When he had woken next to Elrond, he had immediately distanced himself. He had been hard and he wasn't sure how Elrond would react to feeling his friend's arousal pressed against him. Tired and worn down, he had retreated into the bathroom, but his flesh was still hard, demanding release.

/I should not to this. Not now and not here. What if someone enters? What if Elrond enters?/ But he ached for a touch, some release, and Elrond wouldn't give it to him, so he wrapped his fingers around his aching cock, stroking slowly. His other hand settled between his legs, teasingly massaging the guardian ring. A finger slipped inside and he moaned wantonly. His eyes flashed, alarmed at the sound and he bit his bottom lip, determined to not release another moan. What if he accidentally woke Elrond?

Wrapped in ecstasy he briefly closed his eyes, and he sighed blissfully, giving into his fantasy. Elrond was there, kissing him and the green, feline eyes devoured him whole. A growl emanated from Elrond's lips, as the raven haired Lord of Imladris claimed him with one more thrust. "Elrond... a'mael..."The words involuntarily slipped from his lips as his body shook with release.

Elrond froze in his tracks, staring at the divine vision in front of him. The water did little to hide Glorfindel's body and the sigh that left the blond's lips revealed the pleasure coursing through his friend's body. Elrond could have dealt with finding his friend aroused and pleasuring himself, but what shook him was hearing Glorfindel's whispers...

Glorfindel had reached orgasm with his name on those luscious lips! Elrond trembled, growing hard as well; his body betrayed him, showing him his hidden desires.

Glorfindel's eyes snapped open and widened at seeing Elrond in the doorway. Shocked at being discovered, he averted his eyes, unable to meet Elrond's piercing orbs. /I should never have indulged myself with him resting in the next room!/ His fingers were still wrapped around his now flaccid member and he let go, hoping Elrond knew how to cope with this situation - for he didn't. Had he moaned Elrond's name while stroking himself? He hadn't... or had he?

Elrond stared blindly, wondering if he had heard and seen correctly. "Glorfindel?"

"Please leave me." Glorfindel closed his eyes tightly, trying to control the emotions raging inside him. It had been folly to do this with Elrond close, but his body had demanded some sort of release. He wished he could immerse himself, and vanish beneath the surface of the water, but the water was transparent and... and.... /How can I ever face Elrond after this incident?/ Shamefaced, he stared at the wall, hoping Elrond would understand.

But Elrond didn't move and found himself staring appreciatively at Glorfindel. He had never allowed himself to fantasize about Glorfindel, but now the blond would surely haunt his dreams. Visions filled with longing took him by surprise. /Pulling him close, rubbing my need against his, pushing him against the wall and bringing him pleasure for hours... Burying myself inside his body, thrusting, making him come, feeling him contract around me... making me come... making love to him.../ His eyes nearly bulged from his sockets, realizing he had grown painfully hard, and he was only one heartbeat away from crushing Glorfindel against him and finally taking whom he so badly craved.

"Elrond, I..." Glorfindel bit his bottom lip. This had changed everything between them.

"I will leave you alone then," said Elrond softly, and his voice cracked on the last word. He turned around and quickly closed the door behind him. Leaning against the door, he panted softly. He tried to ignore his arousal, but his body cried out for Glorfindel's touch. /No, I cannot do this. Once I give in, the pain will start again. I cannot lose another one.../ Elrond quickly covered the distance to the door, opened it and disappeared into the corridor. His arousal was fading and he needed a quiet place to think.

The water that had caressed his body only a moment ago now stung and felt cold to the touch; tears had mixed with the water. Glorfindel grabbed a towel, dried his skin, and was unable to keep more tears from sliding down his face. /I can never face him again and it is all my fault. I should have known better! I chased him away./

A dark loneliness settled in his heart as he found the bedroom empty. "I made him run..." Glorfindel collapsed on the bed and bowed his head in defeat. He had ruined it all; what was he to do? Leave Helm's Deep in shame? Or should he try to talk to Elrond? But could he endure Elrond's glare?

His head jerked back and he stared at the door, expecting Elrond, but finding Legolas at the doorway instead. "I am not in the mood for conversation," he announced and he stared at the wall, hoping Legolas understood his dark mood and would leave him be.

Legolas frowned concerned, seeing the state Glorfindel was in. The shivers that moved through Glorfindel's body weren't due to the cold, but because the other Elf was severely upset. He picked up a cloak that hung over a chair and draped it over Glorfindel's shoulders. Sitting down next to Glorfindel, he tried to make eye contact, but the elder Elf averted his own eyes. "Will you tell me what is wrong? I have never seen you this distressed before." His heart went out to his friend and he waited patiently for Glorfindel to speak. "You can trust me."

Glorfindel shook his head and pulled the cloak closer, feeling the urge to cover his half naked body. He still felt Elrond's eyes on him and he trembled at remembering the shaky tone in Elrond's voice. "I should leave..."

"Why?" Carefully, Legolas folded an arm around the trembling Elda. "What has upset you? Glorfindel? Look at me." He cocked his head and leaned in closer, finally managing to capture Glorfindel's gaze. "You are shaking like a leaf."

"I was careless and made a mistake," whispered Glorfindel. "Legolas, you should leave me now. I need to dress and leave Helm's Deep before Elrond returns."

"Nay, I am not leaving you in this state," said Legolas in a firm tone. "And you --will-- tell me what happened."

Glorfindel caved in. He had longed to talk about his feelings for Elrond for so many centuries and here was one offering to listen. It was too much to resist. "I love him..."

"Ai, meldir, it is in your eyes, your touch, the way you act when he is close. Even a blind man would know you love Elrond by listening to your voice. You never were able to hide it."

"Aye, Glorfindel, and now tell me what mistake you made." Legolas rubbed Glorfindel's skin, trying to reassure the other Elf. "Maybe I can help."

Glorfindel laughed bitterly. "It is too late, Legolas. I knew he was scared and I chased him away..." He bit his tongue, unable to admit to his indiscretion.

"Scared?" Legolas looked questioningly at Glorfindel. "Why do you think Elrond is scared?"

"He lost two great loves in the past and their losses have made him fearful to love again..."

Legolas interrupted him. "Glorfindel, did you ever pay any attention to the expression in Elrond's eyes when he looks at you?"

"Ai, Glorfindel, it is the same expression which is in your eyes when you stare at him. The love is obvious in your eyes as well as his. I think you might be correct when you say Elrond is afraid, but I doubt you chased him away. Maybe Elrond needs some encouragement to pursue you."

Glorfindel sighed, feeling distressed. "Encouragement? Nay, Legolas, you are wrong. Elrond will always keep his distance. He fears getting hurt again."

Legolas gently squeezed Glorfindel's shoulder, released the hold he had on the other Elf, and slid off the bed to kneel in front of Glorfindel to get the Elda's undivided attention. "How would Elrond react, should he find out you have another admirer?"

Glorfindel frowned, deep lines appeared on his forehead. "But there is no other admirer..."

Glorfindel's thoughts raced. /Aye, how would you react, Elrond, if Legolas were to pursue me? Would you feel jealous as well and would --you-- act on --your-- feelings?/ The idea was tempting, but what if things went wrong? "Nay, Legolas. Elrond might not admit his feelings and then you would be stuck with me. That would not be fair to you."

"This is much worse than I thought... How could I let my feeling show that clearly? I thought I hid them carefully."

"That is what I thought as well, but still you saw my love for Elrond," mused Glorfindel.

"I still think we should carry out my plan." Legolas sighed; it was most unfortunate that his feelings for Aragorn had been uncovered, but he still wanted to help. "Aragorn's heart belongs to someone else, but you still have a chance to conquer Elrond's."

"We will see about that." The wicked expression was back in Legolas' eyes. "Can you pretend you lust after me?"

In spite of his fears and doubts, Glorfindel grinned at hearing Legolas' question. "You are very attractive..." /And maybe Aragorn will realize his destiny lies with you. Maybe I can help you as well, but I won't tell Elrond a thing./ Glorfindel gently caressed Legolas' face. "I won't have to pretend." Amused, he watched Legolas' face grow flustered. "Aragorn is a fool for not claiming you."

Feeling nervous, Legolas cleared his throat. "We should concentrate on Elrond. Once he realizes someone else might win your heart, he will act."

"How can you be so sure?" Glorfindel absentmindedly fingered a strand of Legolas' hair, knowing he could easily pretend an interest in the Prince.

"Because he loves you, Glorfindel." Legolas smiled. "We must keep this a secret. If either Elrond or Aragorn find, out we will fail."

Legolas smirked. "Your lips should be busy whispering words of love into Elrond's ear...and they will, shortly."

"Have faith, meldir." Legolas got to his feet again, smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Knowing I want you will drive Elrond insane and before you know it he will be kissing those lips and make you his. Elrond merely needs... a little push in the right direction."

Glorfindel wondered about the Prince when Legolas left the room. /Can it be that Elrond has finally found his match./ He hadn't believed Legolas capable of such scheming, but now he had to reconsider. Legolas was more cunning and daring than he had ever thought possible. /But I doubt Elrond will act on his feelings, even when feeling jealous... This plan is bound to fail./

Still feeling miserable, he rose and dropped the cloak. Reaching for his clothes, he dressed. The more he thought about Legolas' plan, the more folly it seemed. "I should tell Legolas not to go through with it. This will end badly..." Glorfindel wished he could turn back time; if only he hadn't taken that bath! If only he hadn't touched himself!

He rushed out of the room in search of Legolas; he had to stop the Prince from executing his plan.

Part 6

Confrontations.

Elrond sighed dejectedly. He had finally found a bench in a quiet, forgotten corner of the Hornburg. When, after long moments no one had passed, he felt confident that even Glorfindel wouldn't find him here and calmed down, allowing himself to mentally review what had just happened. /Glorfindel... It was my fault, not yours. I should not have entered knowing you were inside. I should have waited for you to emerge from the bathroom, but I never expected to find you in that... state. By Elbereth, you came with my name on your lips!/

And he had grown hard as well, seeing the blond pleasure himself! By the Valar, how could he ever face Glorfindel again? Had his seneschal noticed his arousal? He hoped not! Their next encounter would be awkward at best, but hopefully their friendship would survive. /What do I say? How must I act? I do not want him to think this was his fault. How can I...?/ Elrond's musing came to an abrupt end when a shadow grew on the floor, announcing a visitor. Ai, he wasn't in the mood for this. Maybe he could sneak out before the other noticed his presence?

"Elrond? Please do not leave... "

Glorfindel's voice made Elrond shiver. "How did you find me?"

"By accident," admitted the blond. "What are you doing here in this deserted place?"

Elrond briefly closed his eyes, hearing concern and affection intertwined in the blond's soft voice. It nearly broke his heart. Glorfindel stepped out of the shadows, revealing himself. /His eyes are red and puffy. Did he cry? Did I make Glorfindel cry? Ai, nay.../ He was tempted to reach out and comfort the blond, but instead he clasped his fingers behind his back. /I would give him hope by comforting him now. It is better this way. Let this distance come between us. It will keep us both from pain./

"Elrond, I regret... I should not have... It was stupid and..." Shamefaced, Glorfindel stared at the floor. He had come here to seek out Legolas and now he had accidentally run into Elrond, the one person he wanted to avoid. "I am really sorry," he started again, but in the end he couldn't finish. Elrond's gaze had fastened on him and the half-Elf was now studying him. He shuffled his feet, wishing he could run away, but that wouldn't solve anything. He was bound to Elrond by an oath; he had vowed to serve the Lord of Imladris after Elrond had brought him back from the Halls of Waiting. He would serve Elrond until the day he died.

Elrond raised a hand, signaling Glorfindel to be silent. "Nay, I was at fault. I should have respected your privacy; instead I simply entered. It is I who needs to apologize." He studied Glorfindel, disliking the dark expression in those usually sparkling eyes. What was this doing to Glorfindel? His friend had to know that these feelings were mutual, and yet he was being denied. Elrond's heart twisted with pain, but he couldn't dedicate himself to another relationship; he no longer had the courage or strength to try.

Glorfindel felt miserable, defeated. How could he ever conquer the losses of Elrond's heart when its owner desperately clung to its pain? Glorfindel stole a look at Elrond, but quickly lowered his eyes, seeing the brooding expression in them. He had fought a Balrog, had returned from Mandos - but Elrond's heart proved to be his downfall. Would he suffer miserably for the rest of his life because he loved someone who was afraid to love him back? Had he created his own prison?

"Will you stay with me?" asked Elrond numbly. He wouldn't - couldn't - blame Glorfindel if the blond wanted to leave his side; he was afraid to hope Glorfindel would stay, because if the blond didn't, his heart would die a third time. How much anguish could his heart endure? Would it ever end?

Glorfindel finally met Elrond's gaze and stared longingly at the half-Elf. "I cannot remember the number of times I promised to stay at your side. I pledged my life to you." Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. "But now I finally realize that my words cannot reach your heart. It does not hear my vows; it only feels loss, and is ruled by your fear to lose a lover once more. I do not know how to reach your heart or to make you understand. I will always be there for you, no matter what comes between us." Acting instinctively he turned around, unable to endure Elrond's pained expression any longer. "Do you not know I would die for you?"

Elrond's eyes swam, but still his hands remained clasped behind his back. His usually eloquent speech deserted him and his mouth felt awfully dry. Glorfindel's words had pierced his heart, and he felt mortally wounded. "Ai, meldir, I..."

Glorfindel shook his head, grateful that his back was still turned toward Elrond, for now the half-Elf couldn't see the anguish reflected in his eyes. "Nay, do not speak words of hope when they are idle. You condemn me to this silent suffering - and suffer I will. Never again will I speak of my feelings for you. My heart will break - slowly, perhaps, but it will die like yours..."

Elrond suddenly raised an arm, reached out, and nearly rested it on Glorfindel's shoulder to keep him in place. But the fingers became a fist, and he pulled back. Celebrian's voice echoed in his mind, and Gil-galad's touch reminded him of what he had lost so long ago. He couldn't risk his heart again! "You are free to love someone else, Glorfindel. Do not bind yourself to me when I am a withered oak, bare and struck in its heart by lightning. Choose another heart to love; one that isn't barren and cold."

Glorfindel's shoulders slumped. "It is not barren, not cold... it is afraid..." His heart was breaking, and all thoughts of Legolas' plan faded into nothingness. They had been fools to think their scheme might work! "I will leave you now and give you your privacy. Please call me when you need my services..."

Choking with emotion, Elrond watched the blond rush down the corridor, apparently eager to put as much distance as possible between them. "By Elbereth, what have I done?" Exhausted, he collapsed onto the bench. His hand, still clenched like a fist, opened like a flower and he pressed its palm against his temple. He sensed that Glorfindel understood his pain, even accepted it... but only to some extent, expecting him to overcome his fears and try again.

"But I am not as strong as you think, Glorfindel." Elrond's head bowed in defeat, and he stared at his hands, resting idly in his lap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir stirred from his sleep, wondering why the fatigue wouldn't go away. Shivers coursed through his body, surprising -him- who had never felt the icy cold during his long life. /What does it mean? I must talk to Elrond./

Looking about, he located Éomer at a wooden desk. The Man was reading reports, writing replies to his officers, and was utterly absorbed in his work. For the first time, Haldir got a chance to study his 'savior'. The long, dark blonde mane hid part of his features, but not the hazel eyes. Éomer possessed a strength he had seldom witnessed in a Man - maybe only in Aragorn. It was that strength that had pulled him back from Mandos. /Mandos... the mere name makes me shiver./ It was a cold and dark place, and it still haunted him. Dark eyes and hollow faces had welcomed him instead of warm, welcoming voices.

"Ah, you're awake." Éomer looked up from behind his papers and briefly made eye contact with the Elf. "I didn't know Elves slept this much."

Haldir glared at the Man. "Usually we do not, but mine is a healing sleep." Now why had he admitted that to Éomer?

"You do look stronger today, more alert," said Éomer approvingly. "You must be hungry. Would you like something to eat?" He gestured at the tray on his desk, filled with bread, cheese, meat and wine.

Haldir wasn't sure his stomach would approve, but he did feel hungry. His gaze shifted from the food, back to the Man. He refused to ask Éomer to carry the tray over to him. It was time he walked again; he had been idle for much too long. Pushing himself on to his elbows, his eyes widened when pain ripped through him, nearly taking his breath away. But that didn't stop him. Biting down the pain, he sat upright and swung his feet onto the floor. "Ai..." Unable to stifle a cry of pain, he remained frozen, knowing moving about would only cause him more pain.

"What do you think you're doing?" Éomer scolded, frustrated. "Lord Elrond told you to rest, and -I- am telling you to stay off your feet for at least another day!"

Haldir raised an eyebrow indignantly and was tempted to argue, but the pain radiating through his spine worsened. He had to lie down or the pain would make him faint. Éomer suddenly appeared at his side, easing him down onto his side and he let the Man tend to him, loathing his weakness that confined him to this accursed bed! "I do not need your help."

But Éomer wasn't inclined to have another 'discussion' and pushed several pillows into place, making sure Haldir's back was supported. "You will stay here and I will bring you the food."

Haldir opened his mouth to object once more, but only a soft yelp of anguish escaped. He was loath to admit it, but he couldn't leave the bed yet. Silently, he watched Éomer collect the tray and bring it over to the bed, where the Man placed it in front of him.

"I'm not so sure about the wine..." Éomer muttered. "Does wine affect Elves?"

Haldir considered the question. "I have never drunk wine made by Man before."

"Then now isn't the time to try it. I will ask a servant to fetch some water and tea." Éomer walked over to the doorway, instructed a servant, and returned to the bed. "Why are you fighting me when I merely wish to take care of you?" He pulled up a chair and sat down, watching Haldir chew a small piece of bread.

"I do not need anyone to take care of me," stated Haldir, knowing very well he was lying. He -did- need someone; he needed Éomer's life force, for it kept him alive and aided his healing. "I want to talk to Lord Elrond."

"I thought so..." Éomer thoughtfully studied the carefully chiseled features, the long silver hair flowing down the Elf's back like a liquid sea of silver, and his hands itched to bury themselves in it. He was tempted to sit on them to keep his hands from moving restlessly in his lap. "I will send a servant to inform him you are fully awake and wish to talk to him."

Éomer's behavior puzzled Haldir, but he was unable to identify this curiosity. Save for Aragorn, he had never felt like trusting a Man, but Éomer almost made him forget his suspicions. A light shone from within the Man, a light that warmed his chilly soul after its return from Mandos. /He has the makings of a King.../

A servant, bringing water and tea as requested, appeared hesitantly in the doorway and Éomer rose from the chair to accept them. "Inform Lord Elrond that Haldir wants to speak with him," said Éomer. "Maybe Lord Elrond will be able to join us for dinner?" Éomer cast a glance at Haldir, who nodded.

The servant left once more on another errand, and Éomer took his seat by the bed again. "Drinking the tea might be difficult whilst lying down," mused the Rohirrin. "Maybe you can sit upright if we support your back?"

Haldir remained silent, lost in thought. He watched silently as Éomer rearranged the pillows. Unexpectedly, strong arms pulled him into an upright position and he tensed, expecting pain. But it never came. Looking into Éomer's dark eyes, he read worry and growing affection in them. He leaned back into the piled pillows and curled his fingers round the warm mug. To his utter embarrassment, his hand shook violently, making it nearly impossible for him to drink.

Éomer took the mug from Haldir, and, ignoring the smoldering expression in the Elf's eyes, he placed its rim against his chapped lips. "Sip slowly." Haldir's glare was unnerving, but he refused to let the Elf get to him. He had the distinct impression that Elrond had been right; beneath the arrogant mask hid a vulnerable soul.

Haldir broke off another piece of bread and chewed it slowly. After sipping more tea, he raised a shaky hand to signal that he'd had enough.

Éomer placed the mug aside and leaned back in his chair, resting his feet on the side of the bed. "I see questions in your eyes."

"Aye," whispered Haldir. "Why do I feel cold?" A part of him still distrusted the Man, but another reveled in Éomer's strength, clinging to the life that sustained him.

Éomer suddenly felt uncomfortable. "Lord Elrond should tell you what happened. I am afraid I would only upset you."

"Ai, it is that bad then?" Haldir briefly closed his eyes, needing a moment to compose himself. "I would prefer it if you told me what to expect."

Éomer shook his head. "I can't." He leaned in closer and stared deeply into Haldir's eyes. "I can't say the words..."

Haldir had no choice but to respect Éomer's decision, and to wait for dinner when Elrond would hopefully join them.

"Would you like more tea? Some water? Or maybe some fruit?" Éomer regretted upsetting Haldir, but felt at a loss himself. How could he possibly tell the Elf that his death would also bring on Haldir's? That they were bound in life...and death. He lacked the words.

"Nay, I have had enough." His stomach contracted, telling him it wouldn't accept more food. After stifling a yawn he sought out Éomer's gaze, expecting to see mirth in them. And aye, the Man was smirking!

"Still tired? Elves do sleep an awful lot," said Éomer teasingly, hoping to keep the verbal fights to a minimum until Haldir had recovered. Then the real battle of wits would begin! "Ah," he soothed, seeing Haldir's glare return, "but it's a healing sleep, isn't it?"

Haldir felt too tired to continue the bantering and awarded Éomer this victory. "Wake me for dinner? Lord Elrond..."

Éomer cut him short. "I will wake you, I promise." He laid the Elf down, pulled up the blanket and tucked it around Haldir's form. "I will be reading reports at my desk... Should you need me, let me know." But the hazel eyes had already turned vacant. Indulging himself, Éomer let a silver strand flow through his fingers. "Aragorn was right... My heart already cares for you..."

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Aragorn found Éomer like that; caressing silver strands of long hair and staring at Haldir adoringly. He leaned against the doorway and wondered how much longer Éomer would fight these feelings.

/But then again, what will Haldir do? Will he accept this bond, or break it? Elrond was right, stating that Haldir didn't have a choice at the time, but Haldir can still take control of this situation. He can reject Éomer and the bond, and if he does, Haldir will fade quickly. Would he truly prefer Mandos above Éomer? But even if Haldir accepts, their time together will be brief, compared to Elvish standards. When Éomer's time comes, so will Haldir's. Haldir should know that./

"How does he fare?" Aragorn stepped into the room and advanced on them. Éomer looked up, startled, and the silken hair slipped from his fingers. "Peace, Éomer. I did not want to make you feel uncomfortable."

Éomer tensed slightly at hearing that last remark. "Why do you think your presence makes me uncomfortable?"

Aragorn shrugged, while taking in Haldir's appearance. "First touches between lovers can make one nervous."

Éomer sighed deeply. "I do not understand my feelings. Is this bond to blame?"

"Blame?" Aragorn shook his head. "Never see this bond as a nuisance, Éomer. Rejoice instead that your heart will know true love."

"But Haldir does not seem to feel the same way. Is this supposed to be one-sided?"

Aragorn smiled warmly. "Haldir is still recovering and has much to ponder. He will need more time to accept this than you did. While caring for Haldir you accepted this attraction, or at least you began to accept it. Haldir has had no opportunity like that yet."

Éomer hesitantly reached out to finger a soft lock. "Haldir wants to talk to Lord Elrond, so I invited him to dinner. I dread that conversation though..." He looked thoughtfully at Aragorn. "Maybe things will be less tense with some company? Would you join us for dinner? You may invite Legolas and the Dwarf as well."

Aragorn liked the idea of spending an evening with his friends. "Aye, I will extend the invitation to them." He placed a hand on Haldir's brow, but it still felt rather chilly. "You did not leave the room?"

"I did not." Éomer frowned. "Why? Isn't he improving?"

"He feels cold to the touch." Aragorn stepped back, smiled, and walked to the doorway. "Maybe you can keep him warm?"

Éomer averted his eyes and waited for Aragorn to leave the room before spooning himself behind Haldir. He slipped beneath the covers, gently pushed closer to the Elf, and wrapped an arm around Haldir's waist. Aragorn was right; Haldir did feel cold. Warming the Elf within the embrace, he pondered his feelings. Éowyn was the only person he had ever felt this protective about, and that realization amazed him. Haldir was a warrior, a skilled archer and swordsman according to the reports King Théoden's men were sending him. Haldir had fought bravely and had taken down several Uruk-Hai; the Elf needed no one to protect him. Maybe Haldir's temporary weakness brought on these protective feelings, but he had them and couldn't help but act on them.

Holding Haldir tight, he allowed himself to fall asleep as well, just planning a short catnap.

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"Legolas..." Aragorn acknowledged the blond by whispering his name, and he almost forgot to breathe, seeing the loving expression when the Elf returned his gaze. /I will tell you I love you after we defeated Sauron,/ vowed Aragorn privately. "Where's Gimli?"

"Inspecting the outer walls with Théoden and Gandalf."

"And you did not accompany them?" Aragorn smiled, amused, realizing Legolas had hoped to spend more time with him. Well, why not indulge the Elf? "We are invited to dinner. Haldir wants some answers from Elrond and Éomer fears the confrontation."

Legolas nodded once, accepting the invitation. "And how does Haldir fare?" He felt relieved, hearing that Haldir wanted to talk to Elrond. It was time the Guardian learned about the extent of his bond with Éomer.

"Better. Hopefully he will make a full recovery in time." Aragorn's gaze swept through the ancient Hall, and then settled on Legolas' form once more. "I do believe that Éomer has feelings for Haldir..."

Legolas' eyes sparkled brightly. "That is most fortunate, considering they are bonded for life. And how does Haldir feel about this?"

"I doubt he knows. He is still very tired, and when he is awake he spends his time bickering with Éomer."

Legolas smiled warmly and nodded once. "Haldir talked to Éomer? He must like the Man, then." He knew very well what impression the haughty Guardian made on most people, and it prevented them from searching beneath the surface, where, hidden deep beneath the arrogance, a very wise and noble soul resided. "I wonder how Rumil and Orophin will react when they find out they have a Man for a brother in law!"

Aragorn grinned. "I do not dare think about their reactions yet!" Aragorn lost himself in Legolas' eyes, and it cost him several minutes, for he had to gather the will to look away. He longed to take Legolas into his arms and to kiss him breathless. /After the war!/

Aragorn walked over to Legolas, raised a hand and placed it on the blond's shoulder, gently squeezing it. "I will see you at dinner then? I guess Éomer will have it served in his rooms, for Haldir is still unable to walk."

"I will meet you there," whispered Legolas happily. He enjoyed Aragorn's close presence and marveled at all the personal attention he was getting lately. Had Aragorn even sought out Éowyn? Was Aragorn still thinking about her? It didn't seem that way. "I will inform the 'Lorien Elves that Haldir is recovering. This news will greatly please them."

Both were reluctant to part, but in the end, Legolas stepped away from Aragorn. "I will meet you for dinner..."

Aragorn nodded and watched Legolas step into the corridor. "Im mela lle." His voice was heavy with unspoken passion and regrets, yet hope sounded through as well. "After the war I will give you my heart..."

(Im mela lle = I love you)

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One of the servants had shown him the way to his seneschal's new quarters and Elrond now stood thoughtfully in front of the door, hand poised to knock. The conversation they'd had earlier still made him cringe. Why couldn't he reach out and admit he was in love with Glorfindel? What would break down this wall of fear he had erected around him? It resembled Helm's Deep and his feelings resided deep within the Hornburg. Would anything breach those walls? Helm's Deep had been blown to pieces, but he didn't dare hope his walls would be pulled down as well.

Sighing, he knocked once and then waited for Glorfindel to answer the door. It opened, revealing a very fatigued Glorfindel. "Would you accompany me to Éomer's rooms? Haldir has several questions, and Éomer decided to invite us to dinner."

"I will accompany you," whispered Glorfindel in a tired tone. He collected his boots, put them on and followed Elrond into the corridor.

Elrond cringed at the distance Glorfindel was keeping. The blond walked behind him, several paces separating them. He wished he could take back words spoken earlier, but would Glorfindel even listen? His thoughts stopped racing when Aragorn called out to him. The Man walked up to them and frowned at Glorfindel. /Ai, Estel will figure out what is wrong.../

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Aragorn's brow knitted, sensing the tension between the two Elves, and almost asked what was amiss, but seeing Elrond's glare he kept quiet instead. He had no intention of placing himself in the middle of this! His gaze traveled from Elrond to Glorfindel and he expected to encounter another glare, but Glorfindel's glance was defeated and resigned. /What happened between them?/ Glorfindel's eyes were downcast, staring at the floor, and Aragorn was tempted to drop back and talk to Glorfindel, but the blond didn't seem to be in a talkative mood either. /Maybe Legolas knows what is going on here?/ His friend could talk to Glorfindel and find out. After the way Elrond had glared at him, he didn't dare question his foster-father.

They walked in silence, and Aragorn sighed, relieved when they finally arrived at Éomer's quarters. The tension was getting to him, and he burst into the room without knocking.

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Haldir looked up in obvious surprise at seeing Aragorn burst into the room. Éomer looked questioningly at him, but Haldir shook his head. Nay, he didn't know why Aragorn was this tense.

Elrond then appeared, smiling warmly at him, and Haldir's eyes narrowed, seeing the tiny shivers that coursed through the healer's body. He had seldom seen the Lord of Imladris upset, but he still recognized the signs. The question was, -why- was Elrond upset?

Glorfindel stepped inside, staying close to the doorway as if standing guard. Haldir looked from Elrond to Glorfindel and sensed the friction between the two Elves. Suddenly, Éomer's touch pulled him from this musings and he concentrated on controlling the pain that moved through his body now that the Man was helping him to his feet. He had 'convinced' Éomer to let him sit at the dining table instead of lying down. Éomer had refused at first, but Haldir had glared him into submission.

He leaned heavily on Éomer, hating his weakness, but drawing comfort from the fact that he was growing stronger again. Finally, he sat down, panting softly.

"You should not leave your bed yet," said Elrond in an admonishing tone.

Haldir eyed Elrond closely. "I am strong enough to make my own decisions."

Elrond sighed, knowing what this was about. "You wish to discuss this now?"

"Aye... sit down... please. It hurts my neck and back to look up at you." Haldir found that Legolas had also joined them, and the blond was sitting down next to Aragorn. On both their faces lay a serious and concerned expression. Glorfindel also sat down reluctantly, as far away as possible from Elrond. Haldir regulated his breathing and sought out Éomer's eyes. The Man sat next to him, but his eyes thoughtfully stared at the floor. "Elrond, tell me what you did when you pulled me back from Mandos." He noticed the way Glorfindel froze, hearing the name, and recalled that Elrond's seneschal had also visited the Halls of Waiting. Had the place seemed cold to Glorfindel as well?

Elrond drew in a deep breath and hoped his voice sounded steady and reassuring. "You were gone, and I was only able to pull you back by binding you to Éomer. It was his strength that brought you back." Elrond's voice became less melodic, less sure. "Éomer's life force keeps you alive." Haldir was intelligent enough to have figured this out by now.

"I am mortal now?" Haldir, saddened, stared at Elrond. "I will die the day Éomer does?" Next to him, Éomer shivered violently. "I do not blame you for this, Éomer. You acted honorably by offering your life force, but..." His gaze fastened on Elrond once more, "Why did you do it? Why not let me go?"

Elrond looked pleadingly at Glorfindel, hoping the blond would come to his aid, but his friend was lost in his own thoughts. His gaze shifted to Aragorn; maybe his foster son would know what to say, but Aragorn's eyes were clouded with emotion. In the end, only Legolas returned his gaze.

Legolas leaned in closer and gently took Haldir's hand in his. "There was so much death, Haldir, and we had the means to pull you back. Something good had to come out of this for us to believe their deaths weren't in vain. We needed to know you were alive, and all of us were willing to pay the price. Elrond made his decision and accepted Éomer's life force. I regret that you did not have a say in this, but we could not let you go."

"You will have to let me go in a few decades," reminded Haldir them. "I am no longer immortal..."

Elrond wrung his hands. Had he wronged Haldir? Should he have refrained from meddling?

"Do you prefer death then?" Éomer asked softly.

Haldir looked from Legolas to Éomer, wondering at the Man's obvious distress. "I thought I knew the answer to that question, but I no longer do. At first I rebelled against being bonded to a Man, but..." He waited for Éomer to look at him and only then did he continue. "I might be able to accept this."

Aragorn cleared his throat, drawing Haldir's attention to him. "Haldir, you do realize that Éomer is Théoden's heir? He will be Lord of the Mark when Théoden dies."

Haldir wondered why that should be important to him, but then he realized what Aragorn was hinting at. /Éomer can never leave Rohan... And I will never see the Golden Wood again. I am bound to him, which means I have to go where he goes. I will die in Rohan when he is old and grey./ The thought saddened him. Although Éomer was pleasant company, he longed for his brothers. They had rarely been separated and now he missed them.

"When I offered my life force I was afraid you would not approve, but..." Éomer stared at the wall, unwilling to meet Haldir's gaze. "At first I was just repaying Rohan's debt to the Elves, but..." Five pair of hope-filled eyes stared at him and he sighed before continuing, "but I find I like your company. I even enjoy our verbal sparring."

Haldir raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Aragorn says that you will be Lord of the Mark one day. How will your people react when they find out you are bonded with me? Won't they desire a Queen and an heir?"

/Damn you for bringing this up when I wanted to avoid discussing it!/ Éomer swallowed the words, unwilling to get into another argument. "I suggested Éowyn succeed Théoden, but the King is opposed to the idea. Her children could succeed me when I am dead; then Rohan would have a new King or Queen."

"But how will your people react?" The people of Rohan wouldn't want an Elf as the Lord's mate. Haldir shook his head. "Elrond, you should not have done this."

Éomer's eyes burned. "They will accept you at my side!" snapped Éomer angrily. "And I'm grateful Lord Elrond brought you back. Why must you be this damned stubborn, Haldir?"

Haldir smiled calmly at Éomer's outburst. "So you wish for me to stay?"

Éomer nodded once. "Why ask when you already know the answer to that question?"

"Maybe he needed to hear it," whispered Glorfindel absentmindedly. Realizing he had spoken out loud, he quickly apologized, but grew quiet when Éomer raised a hand.

Éomer probed Haldir's searching eyes. /Searching for what? The truth? My feelings?/ "I realize that staying alive means giving up your former life, but if there is anything I can do to make things easier on you, you must tell me. I do not want Rohan to become your prison when it should be your home."

Haldir looked at each of them, his gaze lingering the longest on Glorfindel. "You have been to Mandos, and returned as well. You are bound by an oath to Lord Elrond... Did you ever regret choosing life?"

Glorfindel's eyes widened at hearing that question. /Ai, Haldir, what do you want me to say? That I wish I had never returned, for now my heart is breaking because of Elrond's rejection? That I wish I had stayed at that cold and dark place, silently paying for my former arrogance with my solitude?/

"Glorfindel?" The blond's silence worried Elrond.

"Nay," said Glorfindel slowly. "I do not regret returning to Arda. I would never choose Mandos over a life in the woods or Rivendell. Make the best of the years offered to you. Taste life once more and enjoy it. Death might still come in battle and you should savor the joys of life as long as you can."

Elrond hoped none noticed him raising his hand to wipe away the single tear that escaped from his eyes. Glorfindel's sadness and solitude broke his heart.

Haldir considered Glorfindel's words and made his decision. "Then I choose life... A life at Rohan with a new mate..." But his heart still ached, longing for Lothlorien and his brothers.

Legolas beamed with joy and smiled happily at Haldir. Next to him, Aragorn sighed, relieved. Glorfindel still stared at the wall, lost in memories and Elrond nearly reached out to clasp Glorfindel's hand in his... nearly.

Legolas noted Elrond's awkward attempt at comforting Glorfindel and then the hasty retreat. /Glorfindel, our plan will work... I will -make- it work. Elrond will admit he loves you.../

Next Part

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Beta read by Ilye, thanks!

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