Title: The Other Half of Me

Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon

Pairing: Eómer/ Legolas

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Legolas finds the other half of his soul.

Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters belong to Professor Tolkien.

Warning: AU of course.

All mistakes are mine.

The Other Half of Me

Ever since we met on the plains that day, Eómer has been watching me. I noticed the way his eyes follow my every move and have been aware of his interest in me right from the start.

Feigning slight intoxication, I hope my current state will put him at ease, but although I sense his gaze upon me, he does not seem inclined to approach me. Eómer remains at a distance. Maybe I should add – a *safe* distance. I am not sure why he is apprehensive to approach me: I put out as many signals as he did. Eómer should know that I am interested in him as well. It might get complicated though if he convinced himself that an Elf like me could not possibly be interested in a Man like him. Eómer is mistaken then – greatly mistaken.

It started the day we happened upon Eómer, who was leading his Rohirrim away from Rohan – the day Grima, that snake, managed to had Eómer banished from the Golden Hall of Meduseld. I remember that meeting vividly – the way his Men surrounded us and Eómer challenging us. I aimed an arrow at his heart that day. Eómer offending Gimli was not the primary reason why I reacted like that. It was something else – something underlying – obscure and hidden. Back then, I wondered about my action. Today, I understand my behavior from back then. I had reacted to Eómer’s presence. I had reacted to the challenge he had posed to me. I had reacted to Eómer– to his very being – to the attraction between us, which had been instant and intense.

He had sensed it too. The look in his eyes had told me so – and even now it tells me that he is aware of the attraction. This cat and mouse game held a certain measure of appeal, but it grows old quickly. The question however remains: what do I do? Do I continue to play his game? Or shall I call him upon it? I pick up two pints of ale and head toward him. The expression in his hazel eyes changes: it turns cornered, but I do not plan on offering him an escape.

“Here, maybe we should hold a drinking contest of our own.” I shove the pint into his hand and move away again so he cannot hand it back to me. Eómer cocks his head and draws out the look he gives me. I would love to know what is going on in his head. He is a warrior like me, but he is also a Man, which makes him unpredictable in my eyes.

“I saw what happened to Gimli when he tried to drink you under the table, so I won’t even try.”

Such a pity. I had hoped he would play along: it would have made things easier. “Then let us enjoy the ale in peace, but not in here. I prefer to be in the open. Is that agreeable to you, Eómer?” He studies me once more and I know he is trying to get into my head in turn. He wants to know what I am up to. He is suspicious, but I do not blame him. His life was hard and he does not trust strangers.

“It is.”

Eómer is also a man of few words. I cock my head and then incline it toward the exit. “Lead on then.” I follow Eómer outside and we head for a tree that stands at some distance from the building. Eómer rests a hand against that tree – a fine oak tree – and steadies himself. That little gesture tells me that the alcohol affects him more than he wants me to know.

“This land is worth dying for, don’t you think?”

Eómer’s question comes as a surprise, but I answer it nonetheless. “This is home to you and therefore it is worth dying for.” I wonder where he wants to take our conversation and decide to let him take the lead.

Eómer leans his back against the oak tree and empties his ale. “Tell me about your home country… What is it like? Does it differ much from Rohan?”

“Mirkwood is quite different from Rohan, aye. We have large trees and we live in their tops.”

“Sounds wonderful…”

I am a bit surprised to hear the sincerity in his voice. “Rohan is beautiful too.” Eómer appears sad: maybe I should give him a reason to feel blessed for living in Rohan instead of Mirkwood. “At least you do not have gigantic, venomous spiders running wild here.” That should do the trick. Eómer raises his head and surprise colors his eyes.

“Spiders?”

Is it my imagination or did he shiver just now? “Aye, they are large, hairy, and extremely poisonous.”

“I hate spiders…” Eómer lowers his head again and stares at the ground beneath him. “I need to sit down… I had too much ale…” Slowly, he slides down the trunk of the tree and ends up sitting on the grass.

I sit down next to Eómer and study him. He is handsome in a rugged way. His hair, unkempt and unruly, frames a sturdy, but striking face. I like it best when he smiles, like he did when the Hobbits sang and danced just now. “Why do you drink that much?”

“Why?” He lifts his gaze and sadly looks at me. “Why do we drink? To forget?”

My heart goes out to him. I place my hand upon his -- a gesture which seems to go against my silent, often secretive nature -- but I have to reach out to him. As a fellow warrior, I know the horrors he has seen on the battlefields. It took me centuries to learn how to properly deal with the dreadful memories. Eómer does not have that much time. “But the memories will still be there when you wake in the morning – when you are sober.” Eómer gives me the saddest look ever: I need to know what haunts him. “What evil torments you?”

“It is not something that happened in the past… It is a dream… It visited me for many nights in these past years and I do not think it will ever go away.”

“Will you tell me about it?” I move closer to him and much to my surprise – and delight – Eómer rests his head against my shoulder. Unable to resist this invitation, I wrap an arm around him in turn. “Tell me.”

“I am on the battlefield…fighting Orcs… There are so many of them… We cannot win… The corpses of my trusted Rohirrim surround me and their dead eyes stare at me – accusingly.”

The sadness that speaks from his voice touches my heart and I rub his back in a soothing way. “Life is like that – for us. We find death on the battlefield… It will never leave us alone.” Eómer nods against my shoulder and I grow quiet having realized that he is not done yet.

“But then, I see her… Eówyn is among the fallen… I run toward her and scream my anger at the heavens…”

I stroke his hair and that gesture calms him down. “That is a horrid nightmare indeed.” His sister is dear to him and to see her on the battlefield and among the casualties must torment him. “Chances are little though that your nightmare will come true. Her place is not on the battlefield.”

“You do not know her…” Eómer presses closer against me and his right hand finds mine. He twines our fingers and squeezes tight. “She wants to be a warrior. She wants to fight…”

I am at a loss for words. What words can possibly console him? “We do not know what the future will bring, Eómer. Chances are that your dream will never come to pass.”

“But what if it does? What if she finds a way onto the battlefield? I smother each chance she gets and she holds that against me… I see it in her eyes… But I do so in order to protect her!”

“You love your sister and she knows that… Eómer, you cannot control the future… Let it come to pass and when it does, act… Do not torment yourself over it now.” Eómer lifts his head and gives me a look that speaks of wonder. I smile at him. “What does that look mean?”

“How did you come so wise?”

I smile again. “Eómer, I am old… I have seen things you can merely dream of.”

“How old?” His expression changes again, and this time to a mixture of curiosity and awe.

“Thousands of years.” How will he react to that? Ah, with open-mouthed surprise!

“How old?” Eómer gasps.

“You heard me. There is no need for me to repeat myself.” I push an unruly strand of dark-blond hair away from his face and behind his ear. “You might be young, Eómer, as you belong to the race of Man, but in your eyes, I see an old soul…” Maybe that is what attracts me to him – Eómer does not ‘feel’ young to me. His soul feels old…like mine.

Eómer’s gaze suddenly shifts away from my face and he stares at our hands, still locked in his lap. He looks at me again with something akin to shock in his eyes. He opens his mouth in order to protest, but I stop him. “No, you are not trespassing. If anything, we are in this situation because I maneuvered you into it.” Eómer’s expression tells me that he has not caught on yet. “I lured you away from the mass and into the open so we could talk. I wanted to create a more…intimate… setting.” I know that I read the signals he sent correctly, I know that, but I am not sure how he will react now that I am addressing them.

“But why?”

Eómer does not pull away his hand; neither does he move away from me. These little things tell me all I need to know. “You feel it as well… This attraction.”

Eómer cocks his head: he appears lost in thought, but I know that he is gathering his senses like he were preparing for battle. I cannot allow that though. I do not want to wage war with his mind or his emotions. If anything, I want to bring him relief from his dark dreams.

“Maybe,” Eómer admits in a shy voice. “Maybe I am attracted to you, but why bring these feelings into the open?”

I place a finger beneath his chin and lift his face as I want to see his eyes. “Do you think me attractive?”

“I do…”

The fact that Eómer’s voice trembles takes me aback. I never saw such reference, such open adoration in someone’s eyes before. “Eómer, the attraction is mutual, so why not act on it?”

Eómer swallows hard and he needs a moment to gather his courage. “Because you are…exquisite… You are pure… untouched… natural… You are everything I ever dreamt of – and everything I cannot have.”

“That is nonsense!” I state firmly. “Why do you think that?”

“You are an Elf… I am merely a Man…”

For the first time in decades, I blink… Eómer actually stunned me. I finally figured him out. “You are right… I am an Elf and you are a Man… That does not mean my worth is greater than yours. Do you not understand, Eómer? It is all about your heart, soul, and character…” I have the feeling though that words alone are not enough to make him see the error of his ways.

“Legolas…”

I close my eyes in bliss at hearing him speak my name. It is the first time that he does so. I open my eyes again and smile at him. “No… say no more… The night is short and I do not want to waste the little time we have left with words. Just answer me this… Have you lain with a male before?” My directness brings shock onto Eómer’s face, but then he nods. “In both ways?” Another nod confirms my suspicion. “Good.” I rest my hand at the nape of his neck and pull him closer so I can kiss him. I ignore the startled expression in his eyes and concentrate on getting to know the taste of him. He tastes of the wild – of camp fires, ale, and leather, and yet, at the same time, there is something sweet to him as well.

“Legolas… No… what are you doing? We cannot… Not here… not like this!”

“Why not? We are no strangers to love…” Why is he insecure about himself? Does he not know how striking he is? “Listen to me, Eómer… And look me in the eyes.” For one moment, he seems to want to fight me on this, but then he complies and our gazes meet. “You are everything I desire in a mate… You are strong. You hold your own on the battlefield and you are one of the few I entrust to watch my back to…” Eómer attempts to interrupt me again, but I shake my head and rest a finger across his lips. “Hear me first.” I have the feeling that he desperately needs to hear these words.

“But there is more to you. You are a warrior, yes, but there is another side to you as well. I watched you when you did not think I was looking. You are compassionate… wise… gentle… you care… You are like the sun… You burn down your enemies: ruthlessly and with a vengeance, but you nurture and care about the ones you love. You are a force to reckon with – a force that I want at my side in battle and in my bed in times of peace.”

“You move too fast…”

Eómer might be right, but if that is the case, why does he not move out of my arms? Instead, he stays where he is. “Do not worry… I do no intent to ravish you tonight…” But I did want to test the waters.

Eómer seems relieved at hearing that and rests his head against my shoulder once more. “That reassures me…”

I slide my fingers into his hair in a gentle attempt to disentangle the knots in them. “We can spend the night out here, if you wish.” I would rather not though, because from where we sit we look out upon the lined up corpses of the fallen Elves below us. We will burn their bodies tomorrow after holding a small ceremony. A raw ache slices through my heart at recalling that Haldir is among the fallen. Proud and beautiful Haldir… My heart mourns the loss, but at the same time, I know I must move on. I cannot lose myself in grief. I did that once before and almost paid with my life for it.

“I do not want to stay here…so close to death.”

Eómer’s gaze shifted toward the fallen Elves as well and I nod to show I feel the same way. “Where do you wish to go?” Slowly, I release him from my hold, and as I get to my feet, I pull him along. When we stand face to face, I stroke his face and bestow a chaste kiss onto his brow.

“My rooms,” he says while growing flustered.

Ah, I did not think he would be that shy, but I will keep it in mind. I take his hand in mine, which makes him look at me in surprise. Although my interest in him is welcome, it is also unexpected, at least on Eómer’s part.

We walk back to the hall and Eómer guides me down the long and now dark corridors. The Men and Elves who survived the battle for Helm’s Deep rest side by side, some asleep, others contemplating the battle that took place not so long ago.

“In here…” Eómer opens a door and leads me inside. “These are my rooms…”

A look tells me that they are sparsely furnished, but all we need is a bed, and the room has one – a big one at that. Next to me, Eómer shivers. He is cold then. “Go to bed… I will build a fire and then join you.” Eómer looks like he wants to protest, but then he nods and moves toward the bed. While he lights a candle on the nightstand, I start a fire in the fireplace. It takes me a few minutes to get it going, but once it burns, I return to the bed and seek out Eómer’s face. He sits on the side of the bed, still fully dressed, and his eyes speak of loss and sadness.

Silently, without speaking a single word, I get him out of his boots and clothes. He does not protest – he allows me to do as I please. Once he is naked, I lift his feet and tell him to lie down. Again, he obeys. He curls onto his side and stares into the fire. I do not know if it is the ale affecting him, or whether he has these gloomy moods often, but I do know that I want him to be at peace.

I remove my clothes in turn, place my hunting knives within easy reach of the bed, and slip into place next to him. His hair obscures his face and I move the strands aside. “Eómer…” My voice draws him from whatever place his mind wandered off to and his gaze focuses on me. “You will not have any nightmares tonight… I promise. I will guard your sleep.”

“I do not think you can do that, but… it is a nice thought…”

I open my arms and Eómer moves into them. I bite onto my bottom lip in order to hide my dislike of his icy cold feet which press against mine. It is my duty to warm them though and to make sure Eómer is comfortable. He might not realize it yet – not fully anyway – but when he allowed me into his bed just now, he allowed me into his life and that means, I have a new mate…

~~~

I could easily lose myself in watching Eómer sleep. The fact that he closed his eyes fascinates me. He must have been exhausted to sleep so soundly. It came as no surprise that nightmares tried to creep upon him during the night, but I soothed him and by doing so, I chased them away. I wonder how long it will take Eómer to figure out that Elves do not need to sleep and that I only went to bed so I could hold him in my arms for just a few hours.

The sun rises and sends her beams through the windows of Eómer’s room, telling me that it is almost time to wake Eómer and to make ready for the day. A day, which will be filled with much grief, for I will say goodbye to Haldir and all the other Elves fallen in battle. But I do not wish to think about that just now – right now Eómer is in my arms and I want to cherish the moment.

“Are you watching me?”

I smile at hearing Eómer’s voice unexpectedly. “Have you been awake for long?”

Eómer opens his eyes and shakes his head lightly. “A few seconds…”

“You are…” Words escape me to describe the very essence of the Man in my arms. “You are everything I want…” I lean in closer and kiss him again – this time, on the lips. Eómer’s eyes widen momentarily and he tenses against me, but then he relaxes into the kiss. He parts his teeth and allows me to explore his mouth. My fingers move through his hair out of their own accord.

Loud banging on the door makes us pull apart, but most unwillingly. “Eómer, Théoden King has asked for you!”

“Duty calls,” Eómer says with a hint of regret in his voice. “I will be there!” he calls out to the guard and then focuses on me again. “What do I do with you? You do not take no for an answer, do you?”

Smiling, I shake my head. “I know what I want and I know how to get it.”

“And you want me… Though I do not understand why…”

“Aye, I want you and I told you my reasons last night…” I had no idea Eómer was so insecure – he always radiates authority when he is among his men. “Go to your King then… I need to attend to my slain Kinsmen.”

“Will I…?”

Eómer doesn’t finish his question and I wonder what he wanted to ask me. “Say it…” I stroke his brow and smile reassuringly at him. “Tell me…”

“Will I see you tonight?”

Ah, my company is wanted after all. I do not like it that Eómer is at odds with his feelings, but I have to believe that he will sort them out – if necessary with my aid. “I will find you tonight.”

“Legolas, I…”

Again he hesitates. I nod, hoping it will encourage him to continue.

“I…care…about you…in turn, but… You are an Elf… You won’t grow old… I will…”

Is that the thing that worries him? “I had lovers before you, Eómer and I learned how to deal with the loss. And you are right, it is never easy, but I promise you this: I will love you until the end… I will love you and support you. I will be there when you die and I will let you go… But I will never let go of the love that binds us. I will always cherish your love for me in my heart.” I hope those words will reassure him. “Do not fear… Aye, you will grow old, but you will always remain beautiful to me because it is your heart, your soul, that makes me love you… Not this unruly mob you call hair!”

For one moment Eómer stares at me in shock, but then he burst out in laughter. Good, that was the reaction I had hoped for. “Now go, wash up, get dressed, and attend to your King…and maybe, if it pleases you, think of me today and remember that I love you.” I place another kiss onto his lips and then leave the bed. Now that the day is upon us, our duties call, but when the night comes, Eómer will be mine again.

~~~~

In the end, saying goodbye to Haldir and my Kinsmen is harder than I thought. We had put their bodies onto the pyre and then lit it. The dark smoke that now rises to the heavens tells of their death and the immense loss we suffered. Haldir, my friend and brother in arms, I will never forget you. You will always live on in my heart.

A hand settles on my shoulder and the fingers squeeze gently, encouragingly. I turn my head in order to show Aragorn that I appreciate the support when I find Eómer standing there. Turning toward him, his hand slips from my shoulder and I quickly catch it within mine. Clasping his hand in mine, I cock my head questioningly as I did not expect him here.

“Théoden ended the meeting early and I thought…that maybe…you would…” Eómer grows shy again and moistens his lips nervously.

“You thought correctly. It is thoughtful of you to offer me your support.” I guide his arm around my waist and lean into him. Gimli makes an odd noise and I look at him. “Is something amiss?”

“Hum…” Gimli’s eyes widen slightly, but then he shrugs his shoulders. “Elves!

Estel, who also noticed me leaning into Eómer’s embrace, merely gives me a knowing look. “Aye, let something good come out of this…”

By saying so, he gives me his blessing – not that I need it, but it is a good thing that my friends know about Eómer now. Should something happen to either of us on the battlefield, our friends will know how to proceed. I watch the last tendrils of smoke make for the heavens and then turn away from the pyre. I wrap my arm around Eómer’s waist in turn and guide him away from that dreadful sight. “Do you need to join your King again shortly?” I need to know how much time we have.

Eómer nods. “There will be another meeting in an hour.”

“An hour.” We have an hour then. We head back inside, and this time, I lead him to his rooms. Closing the door behind us, I search the fireplace. I might still be able to rekindle the fire and create some much needed warmth for Eómer that way. After manipulating it into burning brightly again, I return to Eómer and pull him toward the fireplace. A fur covers the floor and we sit down on it. I re-establish my hold on him by wrapping an arm around him. This time, I rest my head against his shoulder and Eómer reacts by wrapping me up in a tight embrace.

“It always hurts to lose someone you care about…” Eómer ventures shyly.

“You are right… Although I mourn the passing of all my Kinsmen, I mourn Haldir’s the deepest. He was a good friend for many centuries.”

“I am sorry for your loss…”

I raise my head and make eye-contact. To my surprise, his eyes swim with unshed tears. “What loss do you mourn?”

“We lost Théodred … The King’s son and my nephew… He was much more to me though… Our parents died when we were little and Théoden took Eówyn and me in… Théodred was like a brother to me… He fell in battle a few weeks ago…”

Caressing his face, I watch his tears fall. I feel proud of him – he is strong enough to show his pain openly. I admire him for that. “I feel sorry for your loss too, my love…” I never used endearments in the common tongue before – my love – but it seems appropriate.

Eómer’s expression changes and he blinks away his tears. “I still do not understand why you want me…”

So insecure… so strong, beautiful, and vulnerable – all at the same time. “I love you, Eómer… I love you just the way you are… Do not change…” I claim his lips again. They are surprisingly soft and I hunger to taste more of him, but this is hardly the time for it. A kiss will have to do.

~~~

“We have two days to assemble the Rohirrim and gather all our troops before we head for Gondor.”

Théoden just called an end to the meeting and the King already left. Estel and Gimli also head for the exit, which leaves only Eómer and me behind. During the meeting I stayed close to him as I could tell that Eómer is worried. One look tells me that Estel and Gimli have left and that I am alone with Eómer. I walk up to Eómer and rest my hand on his shoulder. That gesture makes him raise his head and focus on me. I dislike seeing the gloomy expression in his eyes. “Do not despair.”

Eómer sighs deeply. “Even if every soldier answers the call, there will be too few to stop the enemy. This is a lost battle.”

“Nothing is ever lost…” I step up closer to him and fold an arm around his shoulder. He looks alarmed and I calm him down at once. “We are alone. No one watches us.” I reckon he does not want our relationship known to his Kinsmen yet, especially since he did not accept it yet himself.

“Legolas…”

I wonder what is on his mind and I want to know, but this is neither the time nor place for it. “The night is ours. What do you wish to do with it?” I want him to take the lead as he seems insecure about this attraction and I do not want to lose him because I go too fast.

“I want to go out riding.”

I nod to show my approval. I would rather have him riding me in the privacy of his rooms, but that is not an option yet. “Then let us take out the horses.” Eómer gives me a surprised look and it makes me arch an eyebrow, another first in decades. “What puzzles you?”

“Why do you so easily accommodate me?”

“I want you to be happy and if going out riding makes you happy then we will do that.”

“Is it as simple as that?” Eómer’s voice echoes disbelief.

“It is.” I take his hand in mine and am surprised to feel a chill to it. I pull him along, out of the hall and toward the stables. I mount Arod and wait for Eómer to bring out his horse. Once we are both ready, I tell Arod to move forward. A minute later, our horses stretch their legs and they are not the only ones reveling in this momentary sense of freedom. Eómer looks at me from over his shoulder and I laugh at him. The smile which I receive in turn is pure and unbridled. I love seeing him like this – this is Eómer’s true nature.

We come to a stop twenty minutes later. It is a calm night. There is no wind and a blanket of stars fills the dark heavens. The moon is pregnant and shines radiantly in her silver cloak. I let Arod graze and lie down on the grass so I can study the heavens above me. Eómer joins me and I rejoice when his hand covers mine. He lifts my hand and caresses my fingers with his. The touch is gentle and filled with reverence. It makes me wonder what kind of lover he is in bed.

“It is a beautiful night,” Eómer whispers. He turns onto his side and I do the same so we are face to face. “Legolas…” Eómer raises his other hand and caresses my face. I close my eyes in bliss. “I do not know what happened that day when we first met. I was angry with Grima and in a way with my uncle too, but when I saw you something changed. I was no longer interested in finding out your companions’ names. I was only interested in finding out yours and when you aimed that arrow at me… I cannot explain it… It is like you fired that arrow at any rate, straight into my heart…”

I smile at him and rest a hand on his hip. “I felt the same way – for me, the attraction was instant as well. When you left, I hoped our paths would meet again.”

Eómer moves closer and his lips tentatively reach for mine. I answer the kiss and draw him closer to me so I can wrap my arms around him. Our kiss, which began rather innocently and chaste, quickly deepens and his tongue invades my mouth. I let him taste me, but then answer his challenge and duel with his tongue for dominion. We are quite evenly matched though.

Eómer’s eyes are wide open and I look into them, realizing he needs the contact, the reassurance, that his advances are welcome. “Come to me then…” I whisper against his lips coyly. Eómer’s face grows delicately flustered and I smile at him in amusement. I have had lovers before, but never before one that was as shy as Eómer.

His right hand slips into my hair and I lean into the touch, reassuring him once more that the feeling is mutual. Eómer remains tense though, as if expecting to be rejected at any moment. His fingertips massage my scalp and the touch sends quivers of delight down my spine. “Touch me, Eómer… I want you to touch me.” I bring my arms up behind him and roll onto my back. I take him with me and Eómer ends up sprawled atop of me, just the way I had intended. Eómer still seems insecure of himself, especially now that he finds himself in this new position. “Do not think… Feel…”

Eómer settles more comfortable atop of me and with his right hand, he continues to caress my face in a reverent manner. That is when I realize that I have to go slow with him. I had expected him to react in a wilder, more compassionate way, but no, Eómer has other ideas. He wants to court me… No quick fling in the dark.

“Your skin is like liquid silver…Your hair like silk… I am almost afraid to touch you – afraid to taint you with my touch…” Eómer raises his hand and looks at his fingers, which are dark with dirt.

I shake my head at him in wonder, but do not attempt to change his mind. Eómer needs time to accept this. “Let me assure you that your touch pleases me, always and everywhere.” I place my hand at his neck and bring him in for another kiss as he seems comfortable with that. Wickedly, I suck at the tip of his tongue, just to test the waters again, and Eómer grows hard against me. Aye, he wants this – he is just too shy to make the next move and I respect that. “We have a few nights left before fate will send us onto different paths.”

Eómer ends the kiss and gives me a wondering look. “What do you mean?”

Tracing his cheekbones with my thumb, I explain my words to him. “Some Elves are gifted with foresight. Sometimes I see glimpses of the future. Our paths will separate when we reach the Dimholt road.”

Eómer lowers his gaze and appears lost in thought. “We will reach that road in three days. Théoden assembles his army there.”

“You are right… So what do we do with the nights given to us?” I would make love to him before we must separate, but only if Eómer wishes it. I would love to take that memory with me on the ghastly road that lies ahead of me. Eómer bites onto his bottom lip – which I find inviting. I want to suck and bite into that lip as well, but then again, I want to do more than just that.

“I am not sure I can give you what you want… Not that quickly at any rate… I…” Eómer moves off of me and sits next to me. “I need to get to know my lover… I need to feel comfortable around you first… I…”

His eyes tell me the truth – the words he cannot or does not want to say. I sit upright and turn toward him. I place my hands at either side of his hand and my fingers move into his hair – still unruly and unkempt and exactly the way I love it. “Do not put me onto a pedestal, Eómer. Do not worship me. I have flaws, just like you.” Eómer smiles at me in disbelief. “You might not believe it, but I have been known to lose my temper… Eómer, I often speak rashly and do not think about the consequences. That way, I hurt the ones dear to me. I made my share of mistakes in the past. Man or Elf is of little consequence…”

“I have a hard time believing that…”

Something in Eómer’s eyes has changed though. The adoring expression is still there, but he no longer looks at me with such worship in his eyes. “I am like you, Eómer… Do not think me better than that.” Eómer reaches for me, wraps me up in his arms, and pulls me against his chest. Greedily, I draw in his musky scent. He does not speak and merely holds me like that. I allow it, but then raise my head to find out his thoughts. Eómer’s eyes are moist with tears and I kiss them away before they have a chance to fall. “Do we understand each other?”

“I think so…my love…”

At hearing that, I rest my head against his shoulder and allow him to continue to hold me. It appears I got through to him at last.

TBC

Part 2

During the day, I see little of Eómer and when he is close, I have to act composed. I feel Gimli’s gaze upon me though whenever I stand too close to Eómer and catch the Dwarf’s grin when I answer the challenging look he gives me. I know he is happy for me, as he told me so the other day, but he is also a warrior and knows how easily death can break such bonds of love.

We are on the road again now that Théoden is assembling his army and we will come upon the Dimholt road tomorrow evening. Then it will only be a matter of time before Estel will accept his destiny. Once he does, the Dimholt road is the only path he can take. But until then, I have time.

That evening we make camp and we cannot retire to the privacy of Eómer’s rooms any longer. Now that we are on the move, there won’t be any privacy at all. All we will get are stolen moments if we do not manage to find a spot hidden from view. So once we settled down for the night, I explore the encampment in search of exactly such a spot. I find one, hidden in the crevices of the mountain in whose shadow we camp, but I doubt it will offer us privacy for long.

I seek out Eómer at the camp fire that evening and instantly notice his nervousness. “Eómer, I would like a word with you.” I opt for a more formal approach as his men sit close to him. I have no desire for them to find out yet.

Eómer mutters something beneath his breath, but then rises from the earth. He falls into step next me and gives me a curious look. “What are you up to?”

“Not much – rest assured. Our surroundings demand us being discreet.” I have no desire to embarrass him. I lead him to the spot which I discovered earlier and he follows quickly. We huddle next to each other and I wrap my arm around him. Eómer leans into the touch and rests his upper body against mine. I can tell that something worries him and hope he will share his thoughts with me. “Why are there such deep lines on your brow, my love?”

Eómer sighs and reaches for my hand. He twines his fingers with mine and raises it to his heart. “The conversation we had last night has been on my mind today. I considered your words.”

I cock my head, Eómer notices it, and he looks at me. “What conclusion did you reach?”

“That I love you – even despite your flaws… And I am not sure that they are flaws to begin with. I love you, Legolas, just the way you are.”

“It is a pity that we are in no position to express that love… Had we still been at Helm’s Deep I might have ravished you.” I do want him, but I also know that we cannot engage in such activities right now, no matter how much I crave knowing him in that way. “It might be a while before we can make love,” I tell him, curious to find out about his reaction. This time, Eómer does not blush. He reacts differently and claims my lips in an almost brutal kiss.

“Who says I would not ravish you instead? Have my way with you?”

Oh, Eómer’s words rush through my body and cause me to grow hard. “You are a tease… Now that you know that we cannot possibly make love, you challenge me.” Although Eómer smiles at me, I see a hint of regret in his eyes. Aye, we might have made love tonight had our situation been different. But out here, with the risk of discovery around the corner, we cannot take that step.

“Legolas, you said that have the power to look into the future. What lies in store for us? Is there a future for us? Will we survive the upcoming battle?”

I wish Eómer had not asked me that question, but now that he did, I feel I must answer. “We will meet again at Minis Tirith to fight that grand battle there. We will survive and meet again… but it is not that battle that worries me… Another one will take place – one that will be fought at the black gates of Mordor and I do not know the outcome of that one.”

Eómer closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath. “Legolas…” His fingers caress my face and when he opens his eyes again, I see determination in his gaze. “I will find a way for us to be together at Minas Tirith… You said that we will meet again there – that we will survive that battle.” He waits for me to nod and so I nod. “You do not know the outcome of the battle that will take place in Mordor… I want to make love to you just once before we face death in that forsaken land.”

“I want that too.” I hope the Valar will grant us one moment of bliss before we face Sauron himself.

“We must return to our comrades,” Eómer says in a voice cloaked with regret. “My men will start to wonder where I wandered off to.”

Eómer is right of course. Our time together here is limited. “If possible I will seek you out tomorrow evening…” Looking into his eyes, I add, “That might be our last moment together. It won’t be long until Estel decides to take the Dimholt road.”

“I do not want to let you go,” Eómer admits in a pained voice. “Now that I have you, I want to keep you.”

I press the palm of my hand against his face and enjoy the friction that his facial hair causes against my skin. “No matter what happens on the battlefield in Mordor, Eómer, you will never lose me. I will always be with you – in your heart.”

“And you are in mine,” Eómer quickly reassures me.

He did not have to tell me that: I already know it in my heart.

~~~

Finding the right moment to steal Eómer away from his company is difficult. More Rohirrim arrive each second and Eómer is called upon to supervise their arrival. In the end, I manage to steer him away from the camp fire and back to our hiding place.

Eómer looks me in the eyes and I nod. “The moment of our goodbye draws near. Estel will leave within the hour.” Eómer closes his eyes for one moment, opens them again, and looks at me with love. He pulls my hand into his lap and uncovers an item from a pocket. I arch an eyebrow questioningly as I wonder about his intentions.

“I want to give you something. Yesterday, you were very certain that we would meet again, and although I want to believe you, I lack faith. I am afraid this is our last moment together.”

I want to tell him that he is wrong, but Eómer shakes his head and so I keep silent.

“I want you to have this…” Eómer opens his hand until the object on his palm is revealed. It’s a ring, made of gold and set with small gemstones. “It belonged to my father. Théoden gave it to me and said it was my father’s wedding band. I want you to have it… Even if you cannot wear it openly, you would honor me by accepting it.”

“Why would I not wear it?” I wonder aloud as I take hold of the ring. According to Elven standards it lacks craftsmanship, but that matters little to me, as it is Eómer who is giving it to me.

Eómer blinks. “I did not think you would want anyone to find out about us.”

I smile at him in obvious amusement. “Estel knows…and so does Gimli.”

Eómer is lost in thought for a moment but then remembers that day at Helm’s Deep. “They saw you wrap your arm around my waist. Did they conclude we are together after that?”

“I might have let something slip,” I hint, just to tease him a little bit. Then I grow serious again though. I wish I had a gift for him as well, but I do not have a ring to bestow upon him. “I do not have a ring to give to you in turn.”

Eómer moves my hand away from his heart and towards his lips so he can press a kiss on the back. “I do not need one in turn… But there is something else I would ask of you… if you would allow it.”

He managed to surprise me again. “What would you ask for?”

“A lock of your hair, if you are willing to part from it…”

Eómer is back to biting his bottom lip and it tells me that he is not sure I will grant him his request – which is folly. “I need my hand back…” I tell him and smile at him. Eómer releases my hand reluctantly and I reach for my dagger. I cut off a strand of my hair, kiss it, and place it into Eómer’s hand. “This gift comes from the heart.”

Reverently, Eómer closes his fingers over the hair. He swallows hard looking at it, and then he raises his head to look at me. “Thank you for this gift, Legolas, I will always cherish it.”

“I know you will.” I watch Eómer as he respectfully wraps it into a piece of cloth before slipping it safely into a pocket.

“You mean so much to me…” Eómer offers me a shy smile. “I will miss you.”

“And I will miss you, but our separation will not be for long. I will see you shortly in Minas Tirith. Believe me when I say that this is not a farewell.” I slip Eómer’s ring down my finger and smile. “It is a perfect fit.” Eómer appears taken aback and I know what upsets him. “I do not mind everyone seeing it.”

“My men will know what it means… Théoden, Eówyn, Gamling… Our love won’t remain a secret much longer if you wear it.”

I doubt he wants it to remain hidden: he would not have given me the ring otherwise. Eómer knows me well enough by now to know that I will wear it. “Does that displease you?”

Eómer shrugs his shoulders. “I do not know how they will react to the discovery.”

“Does it matter?” I question him.

“It should not… You are right.” Eómer remains lost in thought, but then nods. “Let them know – I feel proud to have you as my lover.”

“Excellent answer,” I praise him and draw him close. “That earns you a kiss.” In my heart, I regret that the memory of shared kisses is all we will have to keep us warm in the upcoming nights when we are apart – I wish we had other warming memories as well. Eómer answers the kiss most willingly and I do my best to make it memorable. “I will think of you when we are apart,” I tell him once we end the kiss. “I want you to know that you will always be on my mind.”

“I will think of you too, my love…”

Eómer blushes again when he speaks those last two words and that earns him another kiss.

~~~

I pull Gimli behind me and set out to follow Estel onto the Dimholt road. Although going there is a frightening prospect, I will not waver, knowing we will make it out alive. I have seen it. Steering Arod away from the encampment I wonder if I should look over my shoulder to see Eómer one more time. I do not have to worry about revealing my affection for him as the soldiers closest to Eómer already know. I saw them exchange knowing looks when they caught sight of the ring I wear.

In the end, I cannot resist temptation and I look behind. As I thought, Eómer stands there, amidst his men. His eyes beg me to make eye contact before I ride out of his life and so I do. I answer his gaze and without making any sound, my lips form the words he longs to hear – I love you. Eómer understands, nods in turn, and reaches inside his pocket where he keeps the lock of my hair. I tear my eyes away from him and tell myself to focus on the task ahead. I will see Eómer again… I know I will.

~~~

It will be a long time before Minas Tirith will be at peace again. The inner circles of the city are full of wounded people, while the outer circles are filled with the dead. Under Estel’s command the army of the Undead did away with Sauron’s minions, but healing the city, the land, and her people will take many years.

While Estel has taken over command of the White City with Gandalf at his side, I leave the Citadel in search of Eómer. I know he is out there somewhere – probably on the battlefield itself, searching for Rohirrim who survived the slaughter.

Walking on grass drenched in blood, my heart feels heavy for the lives lost here. The good people of Minas Tirith, even aided by Rohan’s army, never stood a chance. It was only the army of the Undead which managed to do away with Sauron’s threat.

In the distance I see a familiar helmet, one which is adorned with white horse hair. It is Eómer and I make my way over there. Just before I reach him however, he screams out in distress and runs into the opposite direction. He collapses on his knees and pulls a body close to him. I am shocked to recognize Eówyn’s features and I remember the reoccurring nightmares Eómer had. His fears became true after all. I hurry over to his side and kneel next to him.

Eómer still screams at the heavens and his grief overwhelms him. I feel for him, but do not give in to despair. I reach for Eówyn and he fights me, as he does not want to surrender her to me. “Eómer, I want to help…” I state calmly. I am not sure he hears me, but in the end, he allows me to examine her. “She is still alive but needs help. We need to take her to the houses of healing and we need to do so now!” Normally I would never raise my voice at Eómer, but these are not normal circumstances. “Now, Eómer, move!”

At long last, Eómer stirs. “Legolas?”

Good, at least he recognizes me. “Get to your feet, Eómer. Our work here is not done yet. We have a life to save!” I get Eómer’s horse and together we lift Eowyn onto its back. Eómer slips into place behind her and I whisper into the horse’s ear. “Run like the wind, my friend!” And to Eómer, “I will find you!” While Eómer heads for the houses of healing, I look for a horse that will carry me there as well.

“Take him…”

I did not know Gimli had followed me out here, but there he is, my trusted friend, and he presents me with a horse.

“Get going, laddie. Eómer needs you.”

“Thank you,” I say, and the words come from the bottom of my heart. “My good friend.”

“No need to turn sentimental on me! Now move!”

Realizing Gimli knows about the sincerity of the situation, I merely nod my head and take off after Eómer.

~~~

When I arrive, Eómer stands alone in the courtyard. Healers have taken Eówyn from his arms and carry her into the house. I slide off my horse, call one of the guards to me, and tell him to find Aragorn and to inform him of Eówyn’s injury. Knowing Estel he will want to help and I know for certain that he can aid her recovery. I walk over to Eómer and wrap him in an embrace. Why is he still out here and not at his sister’s side?

“Thank you for coming here, Legolas… They have taken her away from me… I am not allowed to see her yet… They want to examine her first.”

I lead him toward a bench and sit him down. I claim his hand again and rub the icy cold fingers. “Do not give up hope, Eómer. She is strong… She will survive.” Eómer raises his head and his eyes swim with tears. They drip down his cheek, fall from his chin, and onto the back of my hand. “Have faith. I send for Estel… He will help.”

“What can Aragorn do? If the healers fail then…”

“The hands of the King are the hands of a healer… Do not give up hope yet.” I squeeze his fingers encouragingly. “You are not alone…”

Eómer draws in a deep breath, fights down his tears, and nods. “I always knew my nightmare would come true.”

“Aye, it came true… Now let us find out the end of the story as well.” Eómer leans against me and I rock him, offering him my support.

~~~

One hour later, the healers allow us inside. Eómer heads for Eówyn at once. He sits next to her, but does not touch her. He is probably afraid that his touch might bring her more pain. My heart aches for him.

“How badly injured is she?”

Estel’s voice, coming from next to me, draws me away from my thoughts. “Gravely. The healers can do little for her – they can only take away her pain, but they cannot heal her.”

Estel nods. “Hopefully I am more successful then.” He heads for Eówyn, kneels down next to her, and attends to her needs.

Eómer’s expression changes from lost to hopeful upon seeing Aragorn there and he follows every move he makes. After what seems an eternity Eowyn begins to respond to Aragorn’s care. The sweat, caused by high fever, leaves her brow, and her breathing deepens. Judging the time right to intervene, I walk up to Eómer and pull him against me. “Let her rest… She will recover.”

Eómer allows the embrace, but his gaze is still locked on Eówyn. “You said something earlier…”

“The hands of the King are the hands of a healer…”

Estel hears my words too and looks at me. I am grateful that he finally accepted his destiny. Had he rejected his inheritance and remained a Ranger even more lives would have been lost in Sauron’s crazed quest to rule the world – including Eówyn’s.

“Go with Legolas,” Estel says, addressing Eómer. “I will stay with your sister and I will take good care of her… Eómer, you need to rest, and after that, you need to take command of the Rohirrim… You are King of Rohan now.”

That is another loss he suffered – he lost his uncle and King. Eómer tenses against me and I tighten my hold on him. “Let me take care of you…” I did not realize it until Estel had said it, but aye, Eómer is King now.

~~~

I lower Eómer onto the bed and am surprised that he does not protest my actions. Looking at him, I see why he allows it: he is dead tired and about to fall asleep on his feet. “Lie down and rest.” I do not bother undressing him – he needs to sleep first of all. I can clean him up later.

Eómer opens his tired eyes and gives me a sad look. “How can I rest…when so many of my men…lie dead on the battlefield?”

I stretch next to him and pull him in my arms. “You owe it to those men that you rest. They fought bravely and defended their King and their beliefs. You need to honor their sacrifice -- do not dismiss them.” I am not sure my words will give Eómer the support he needs, but I must try. “Tomorrow they expect to see you rested and in control. They will want to honor their new King.” Eómer’s gaze remains sad, but he will not fight me over this – it is a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. I need to lift his spirits so he will fall asleep with a good memory. “You outrank me now, Sire.” Eómer raises an eyebrow and gives me an odd look. I wonder if he knows about my heritage.

“What do you mean by that?”

Ah, I caught his attention after all – good. I place a kiss onto his lips and with my thumb I rub his cheek. “My father rules in Mirkwood. My father is an…Elven King…” I need to phrase this right. “I am his only son and therefore the Crown Prince of Mirkwood. I doubt my father will resign any time soon, so until that time arrives, you outrank me, Eómer King.”

I do not know why, but during my speech, a dreamy expression appeared on Eómer’s face. Does it please him that he outranks me? Or am I missing something?

“My sweet Prince…” Eómer turns his head slightly and smiles at me. “You are the King of my heart though…”

I have the feeling that something else amuses him as well. “Why do you have that silly smile on your face, my love?”

“If you are a Prince of Mirkwood… and provided we survive this war… Would you take me there one day? I would love to see those tall trees…” Eómer’s voice grows weaker and his eyes close again.

I want to remind him that he does not like spiders, but I keep quiet. I do not want to ruin his last thought before drifting asleep. Let him carry a more peaceful image of Mirkwood into sleep with him. “Aye,” I whisper into his ear. “I will take you there and we will climb the tallest tree there.” Eómer’s smile brightens and I am humbled that such a simple gesture would mean that much to him. Aye, Eómer, if we survive this last upcoming battle, I will take you home with me. I want you to see Mirkwood before we settle down in Rohan so you can rule your country.

~~~

A knock on the door does not wake Eómer, who is still sound asleep, but it does draw my attention. I leave the bed and head for the door, which I open. I am not surprised to see Estel standing there. “How does Eówyn fare?”

“She will make a full recovery… Eómer need not worry about her health.” A sly grin appears on Estel’s face. “But I am certain you will make sure he takes care of him. You surprised me though, Legolas. I never thought Eómer would arouse your interest.”

“There is much to love about him,” I explain to my friend. “You are eighty-seven years old, Estel… I, several thousand. Trust me when I say that different things become important when you have lived as long as I have. There is fire in Eómer, Estel… A warmth and gentleness that calls out to me, but it is still hidden beneath the surface. It will make him a great King though.”

“I wish the both of you the best of luck, mellon.”

I close the door now that Estel is leaving and turn back to the bed. Eómer is no longer asleep though. He is awake and sits upright in bed. “Aragorn visited just now.”

Eómer nods eagerly. “Did he bring news of my sister?”

I sit down on the side of the bed. “Eówyn is doing fine. Aragorn expects her to recover quickly.” At hearing those words, Eómer sighs, and a burden is lifted from his shoulders.

“I worry so much about her.”

“I know you do… but rest assured, Aragorn will take good care of her.” Which reminds me, I wanted to clean up Eómer. “When do your men expect you to join them?”

Eómer looks outside and realizes the sun is still rising. “We have an hour…” Eómer bows his head. “I am not looking forward to today.”

“Because you are King now?” Eómer nods and lifts his gaze, meeting mine.

“I was not raised to be King. I do not know how to be a King!”

“You need not worry,” I reassure him. “Aragorn was raised to be a King and he does not know how to handle the situation either. Your instincts will guide you. Both Aragorn and you will be great Kings because your heart is that of a King.” I place my hand against his chest, where his heart is. “I have faith in you…”

Eómer swallows hard. “If you have so much faith in me than…than maybe I won’t be a complete disaster.”

I laugh at hearing that and Eómer gives me a displeased look. “Oh, my love, you will be a good King… Do not doubt yourself, for I do not doubt you either.” Eómer’s fingers slide into my hair and he brings me in for a kiss. The moment seems right for what I have in mind, but the dirt, blood, and grime have to go first. “Not yet…” I get to my feet and ignore Eómer’s disappointed look. “Neither I, nor your men, want to see you tainted by the blood of your enemies.” When Eómer was still asleep, servants brought hot water.

“What are you up to?”

Eómer follows me into the bathroom. Once inside, he looks at the filled bathtub in disbelief. “This must be a dream.”

“The survivors of Minas Tirith want to thank you for coming to their aid…” I pull Eómer closer toward the tub. “Step out of those boots,” I tell him. He gives me an uncertain look, but then complies. He grows increasingly nervous once I start to remove his clothes. “What are you doing?”

“That is not a very intelligent question,” I tease him. “What does it look like, my love?” I got Eómer down to his undershirt and that is it.

“You are stealing my clothes,” Eómer says and grows flustered.

“Stealing them?” I laugh in amusement. “I do not need to steal anything. Raise your arms, Eómer. You managed to get blood even on that.” I point at the garment. Eómer does not comply at once though.

“But then I am naked.”

“Brilliant observation, Sire.” My teasing merely causes him to grow even more flustered. “I always thought that even Men bathed naked? Or do you wish to keep your shirt on?” Let us see how he will react to that.

“Oh… yes…a bath…” Eómer does not seem entirely convinced, but then he raises his arms and I dispose of the last garment. He is naked – finally. “Get in there, Eómer…”

“What about….” Eómer gulps.

I am quick at disrobing when I want to. “What, my love?”

“You are naked too.”

“You have the true makings of a King, Sire, very observant.”

“Stop that!”

Eómer playfully swats at me, but I avoid getting hit. I step into the bathtub and pull Eómer along with me. “Sit down, my love.” Eómer sits down, but I can tell by his expression that he is not sure about my plans. I do not mind. Let him wonder. I take hold of the soap, work up lather, and start to clean him up.

“I can do that myself,” Eómer manages at long last.

“But today, I will do it.” Eómer squirms uncomfortably and I know why he acts odd. He is hard, and so am I. “Eómer…” I breathe his name into his ear and slide onto his lap. I place the soap aside and my hands find other ways to busy themselves. They move into his hair, stroke his back, or even wander deeper down his front until my fingers encounter his erection. “I promised you that we would meet again… We did, and now we will make love.”

Eómer pants hard and seems at odds with himself. He claws at the bathtub and desperately tries not to react. “But…”

“No, my love… No more running away…” I lick my way up his throat and place a shallow bite close to the nape of his neck. “You are mine now.” Maybe I should prepare him for what is to come, but I cannot wait anymore. I lower myself onto his erection and push down. Throwing back my head, I growl possessively and make sure he is fully lodged inside me. I craved this for a long time and no one is going to take Eómer away from me. This moment is ours – and he is mine.

“Legolas, be…careful!”

Eómer quickly wraps his hands around my waist in an attempt to slow me down, but he won’t succeed. I want this! “Do not worry about me, Eómer… Elves are resilient…” We fit well together and I rotate my hips as I want to feel more of him. I latch onto his throat again and shower the bruised skin with butterfly kisses.

Eómer looks dazed, but then composes himself. “This was your idea all along. You planned this earlier.”

My lips desert his skin so I can answer him. “I admit to staging this. When they brought in the hot water, I realized I could not let this opportunity pass me by.” No longer interested in words, I claim his lips and start riding him. Eómer’s gaze fills with pleasure and his fingers trail down my back to cup a buttock. “Touch me,” I pant into his ear. “Touch me.”

Eómer wraps his fingers around my erection in turn and quickly steers me toward orgasm with firm strokes. I am close, but do not wish to come. The sensations however overwhelm me and I tumble over the edge, hoping that I am dragging Eómer with me. Eómer suddenly pulls me close, enfolds me in a crushing hug, and tenses against me. A moment later, he relaxes and his embrace loosens. I took him with me then.

Contentedly, I purr his name and kiss his eyelids. “That was good.”

Eómer traces my cheekbone with his fingers and then rests one of them beneath my chin, making me look at him. Silly Man…like I would want to look anywhere else. “I love you, Eómer.”

“I love you too, Legolas…”

I rest my head against his shoulder and trace circles on his chest. I do not know what life holds in store for us, but I do know that I found the other half of me.

The end