Neroon's penance

"Are you sure, Commander? I have serious doubts about this decision you have made," Neroon said and eyed her warily.

Susan Ivanova stared at a surprisingly nervous Neroon. They'd been searching for Marcus for a week now and were closer than they'd ever been before to finding the blind ranger. "My call stands. You're the one who messed him up and broke his spirit in this abnormal urge to 'possess' him." She paused momentarily to see what kind of effect her words were having on the Minbari warrior. Neroon has changed during this last week,  she mused. The violent edge had disappeared and although he was very restless, it seemed like Neroon was beginning to realize how badly he'd damaged Marcus in his mad pursuit of the human.

Neroon didn't like the direction this conversation was heading in. During these last days, a painful shame had been building inside him for the way he'd treated Marcus. The lust he'd felt those very first days had made him rape Marcus not once, but several times. Remembering the hurt look in Marcus' eyes had turned him on even more. He'd been so intent on 'possessing' the ranger that he'd forgotten that Marcus deserved to be treated with respect and love. But the fact that he loved a human had made him furious. Humans were inferior to Minbari, fragile, and he'd cursed Marcus for rejecting him. But that rage, that obsession he'd displayed for Marcus, still puzzled him. It wasn't like him to act like that.

Only now, he admitted to himself that his behaviour had been obsessive. He loved the fierce spirit Marcus possessed. That fire had made Marcus challenge him to Denn'Sha, knowing only too well that he'd die by Neroon's hands. He'd broken that spirit, crushed every belief the human had to make Marcus accept him as his master. Neroon wondered what had made him act the way he had. His actions had been deeply dishonourable.

Hindsight being 20/20, he knew he should have acted differently, but the lust, the anger had taken over. Never again, never! Shaking his head, he realized that he should have treated Marcus as his equal. Why hadn't he done that? To treat a Minbari warrior like he'd treated Marcus would result in a conviction by the High Court of the Warrior Caste, banishing him from Minbar to a penal colony. He'd never used any of the required rituals to ask Marcus' permission to court him, like he should have done. He'd seen something he'd wanted and had simply taken it; the intensity of his lust and feelings still baffled him. Now that the rage of emotions had left him, he felt deeply ashamed and amazed that he was capable of such hideous crimes.

"Neroon? I'm talking to you!" Susan Ivanova had mixed feelings about this situation. She knew Marcus loved her in his own way and she returned his feelings, but Marcus also had strong feelings for the warrior, though they were on a subconscious level. Susan suspected that Marcus fought his feelings for Neroon because he thought that there was dishonour in loving a man. Smiling sadly, she remembered her own love, Talia. She'd fought those feelings in the beginning as well, but her experience with Talia had been sweet and caring. Neroon had raped Marcus several times. That was a big difference. The decision she'd made just now had been one of the hardest she'd ever made.

"I hear you, Commander, but I still think that Marcus should return to Babylon 5 with you."

"You're not getting out of this one this easily, Neroon. you broke him; you have to heal the hurt. How do you think Marcus will feel when he has to return to Babylon 5, knowing that his friends are aware of what happened to him? I can't help him as long as he's afraid of you. He'll always be frightened to meet you, somehow, somewhere. That fear will destroy what's left of him. No, you have to rebuild the trust and that will be hard on you. You never expected to have to do this; to help him heal, did you? You're running away from the true feelings in your heart. You love Marcus, but you don't want to treat him like an equal. Just take what you want and don't think about his feelings, as he's just a human. Am I right?" Susan said, lecturing him.

Her voice was tense and Neroon felt the urge to throw something across the room, to pound on something. She was making him face his ugly side and he hated her for it, but she was right. He'd never considered Marcus' feelings, only his lust had been important. The break point had been losing Marcus after the blind ranger had chosen to be with him. Although Marcus had chosen to be with him for the wrong reasons, he still loved Marcus. His obsessive lust had started to disappear as concern for Marcus' well being had filled him. He should have known better than to let the blind human go to Down Below alone! If only he'd been thinking with his brain instead of his...

Blind. I am the reason he is blind. I hit him that hard to prevent him from leaving me. I never thought about the pain he was in, the fear that must have been coursing through him.  He'd never wanted to love the ranger, only to possess him. Neroon had no idea what to say or how to act when the time came to face Marcus.  But I do love him. I never loved someone with this intensity before and it frightens me... Yes, I can admit it at last. 

"Neroon, we discussed this before. You'll take Marcus to your house on Minbar. He needs to get away from everything. His feelings are all messed up; his emotional pain almost killed him. He needs to know what his feelings are for you, for me. " She bit her lip for a moment. Did she really dare to say this? She had to. "I do think that Marcus has feelings for you, Neroon, but you handled this situation so badly."

"I know that, Commander. I know. The dishonour is mine, not his. I will do whatever necessary to restore to him what he lost. I want  Marcus back as much as you do, but shouldn't we allow the ranger to make his own decision?" Neroon felt a sharp pain in his chest as he remembered that he'd never before been willing to give Marcus the freedom of making his own choices. Cursing himself for acting this irrationally, he desperately wanted to make amends to the ranger he'd wronged so badly!

"I don't think Marcus is capable of making his own decisions at the moment." She became all-professional upon seeing the complex where Neroon believed Marcus was being held prisoner. She still had no idea how the Minbari knew where to look for Marcus. He'd said that it had come to him in a flash. This worried her even more. If Marcus had such a bond with the Minbari, it told her something about his true feelings for Neroon, otherwise he would be reaching out for her. She sighed.

Landing the flyer wasn't difficult and together they made their way to the door. Susan wondered how they were going to get inside. Neroon provided her with the answer.

Like an expert in these matters, he cut the wiring and the door slid open. The artificial light was bright enough to see where they were walking. Sneaking through the corridor, she followed Neroon who seemed to know where Marcus was being held. A startling thought gave her goose pimples. Was it possible that either Neroon or Marcus had some telepathic abilities? The way Marcus had reached out to Neroon still puzzled her.

The PPG is his hand made Neroon feel uncomfortable. He'd never used human weaponry before, but he realized the advantages the weapon gave him, compared to the pike. A strange feeling led him through the corridors. It was like he was being pulled to a certain room. Was Marcus really here? He felt frightened and excited at the same time. "Are you ready, Commander?"

"Yes, but I wonder why we encountered no one. Seems deserted." Bracing herself, she took hold of the PPG. She was ready.

Neroon kicked in the door and they moved inside. Both froze in their tracks as they discovered Marcus who was tied to the bed. His body was shaking badly and the ranger was stark naked.

The green eyes that Neroon loved so much were closed and the warrior smelled the presence of someone else in the room. Signalling the Commander, he stalked over to where this person was hiding. His reflexes warned him when a young woman ran towards Susan, a needle in her hand, ready to strike. He realized that he couldn't intercept her, but Susan saw the threat.

The woman's face was contorted and she screamed, "You'll never have him!"

Susan had no other choice than to pull the trigger and the madwoman dropped to the floor. She'd been hit in her shoulder and had turned unconscious.

Neroon smelled something else, a familiar scent. Torturing his memory, he tried to figure out who else was in this complex. It had to be a Minbari...Warrior Caste, he was sure of that. The scent became faint and he realized that Marcus needed help.

Susan was already at the ranger's side, undoing the restraints. There were tears in her eyes, when Marcus didn't react to her voice as she called his name.

Neroon approached them hesitantly. Marcus was delirious, softly whispering in Minbari. He recognized the chant. It was used to block pain. A strange noise pierced the air as he stepped on something. Sitting on his heels, he lifted the needles from the cold floor. "He has been drugged," Neroon whispered.

Susan had managed to undo all the ties, but was too weak to pull him up from the bed. Marcus' head rested on his chest and he had no idea what was happening.

Neroon shook off his initial shock and slipped out of his black cloak. The fabric was thick and would warm the ranger until they could get him into a warm bed. "Allow me," he said and waited for permission to continue.

Reluctantly, Susan let go of Marcus and watched as Neroon wrapped the cloak around him. She'd never seen him act more gently than now and knew that she'd made the right decision. Neroon was the one who had to heal Marcus' hurt and she could only hope that the Minbari would find a way to help Marcus recover.

Lifting Marcus in his strong arms, Neroon tenderly cradled the ranger against his chest. It tore his heart apart to see Marcus like this and he wondered if Marcus had been damaged so severely that he would never recover. "I am going to get the one who did this to him," he promised.

"You got any idea who's behind this, Neroon?"

"Yes, a Minbari of a rivalling Warrior Clan, but I'm not sure." Neroon carried Marcus back into the small flyer and placed him in the back where a little bed was installed. Marcus was still wrapped up tightly in his cloak when he pulled the thermo blanket over the ranger's trembling body. Never before had he felt this protective about someone.

"We should have taken a doctor with us." Susan cursed in Russian. It would take them 3 hours at least to get to Minbar.

"I know a little bit of first aid," Neroon reluctantly revealed to her.

She was surprised to hear that statement and handed him the first aid kit. Neroon tried to remember everything he'd taught himself about human anatomy. He'd picked up a lot of things at the end of the Earth-Minbari war. Not that he'd offered to help the humans who'd been wounded, but by looking closely he'd learned about their injuries. Somehow, he was relieved that Marcus was unconscious. That way, the human wouldn't feel any pain his ministrations might cause. He wiped the blood from Marcus' face and chest, and heard the slight intake of breath as he touched the ribcage. Neroon made a mental note to tell the doctor that Marcus had bruised or broken ribs.

Susan had placed a call to the Ranger Training Facility and they assured her that they would send a doctor to Neroon's house to take care of Marcus.

As Marcus shifted slightly on the bed, Neroon saw the strange angle in which Marcus' right arm lay. He carefully felt along the bone and realized that it had been broken. Bandaging the arm gently, made him alert of the strange scent on Marcus. It was the scent of the human female. It didn't take Neroon long to figure out what must have happened in that little cell, but he also realized that Marcus hadn't been a willing participant. He knew the ranger too well to believe that he would have sex with someone he didn't care for. Whoever was behind Marcus' kidnapping, their goal had been to utterly break and humiliate the ranger.

Deep anger filled Neroon. The person responsible for this was going to pay. Is this person that much different from me? I broke him in the first place; they just trampled on the broken pieces.  Neroon was hesitant to attend to the wounds Marcus had under his waistband. Feeling strangely shy all of a sudden, he turned away from the ranger. He wondered if Marcus had any idea that he had been rescued from that hellhole.

Marcus tried to move as little as possible, knowing the pain it would cause him. After Martha had.... had her way with him, he had just wanted to die. He couldn't live with himself after what had happened. He never wanted to have sex with her, but she'd been persistent and when she'd brought him to orgasm, he'd felt used. All of them used him for their own pleasure and then left him to deal with the pain on his own. He was so tired, the pain and shame overwhelmed him and he wished they would kill him. The only thing he'd been proud of in the past had been his honour and now that had been taken from him repeatedly.

Moving slightly, he noticed that he wasn't lying on the filthy mattress any longer. He thought about opening his eyes, but only darkness would stare back at him. Voices lingered around him, but he couldn't make out whom they belonged to. The sedative in his blood made him slow to react. He was at the mercy of whoever was with him. He was beyond being afraid; he had simply given up on himself. Sensing warm and gentle hands on his face made him wonder who was with him. This touch was gentle and images of that last dream he'd had drifted back to him. He had been with Neroon and there'd been no pain, no fear, only love and tenderness.

But he knew it had only been a dream. Neroon cared nothing for him. The warrior only used him to satisfy his own lust. Marcus had no more energy left to fight to stay conscious. The drugs he'd been given regularly made him drowsy and only intensified his feelings of helplessness.  There's nothing left for me to live for, might as well be dead.  That last thought made him surrender to the nothingness in his soul, the one place where he didn't feel the hurt and the shame.

///

Neroon watched Susan say goodbye to Marcus who was still unconscious. He turned away from them to give them some privacy. Marcus had told him repeatedly that he loved the Commander, but Neroon had insisted that the human was lying to himself. Marcus might love Susan Ivanova, but it was a different kind of love. Neroon had felt Marcus' body react to his caresses when he'd touched the ranger. This was such a mess and the prospect of having to sort everything out, frightened the warrior. He, who had never been afraid, didn't know how to get this resolved.

Susan brushed his bruised lips and held Marcus close for a moment. If Marcus truly loved her, he would come to her after the healing process had been completed. She had to be patient, and she realized that there was a chance that Marcus might choose to be with Neroon for a second time. But this time, he would have to base that decision on the right reasons. Touching him made her feel his mind once more. The only thing she sensed was an overwhelming sense of solitude, pain, dark feelings of shame... abandonment. Marcus was on the edge of giving up. "You have to fight, Marcus. You're strong," she told him.

Neroon heard her words and wanted to disappear from sight. He was angry with himself for losing control like he had. Raping Marcus had only strengthened his belief that he was entitled to claim the human as his own and after a while, he'd lost all sense of reality. The warrior wished he could turn back time and change everything that had happened to Marcus, things, which should never have happened.  My pretty one. Did I ever call you by name? No, I even refused to see that you were a person. Marcus, how I have wronged you. 

Susan's movements caught his eye as she walked to stand in front of him. They were only minutes away from Minbar and she would continue her trip to Babylon 5 after she'd dropped them off on Minbar. He could tell that this was hard on her and said, " I will keep you updated; contact you regularly to tell you how he is doing. Should Marcus want to see you, I will not hold him back."

"I know, Neroon. Take good care of him. If you hurt him again, I will kill you," she hissed.

 "I will never again hurt him as long as I live. The pain I caused will last a lifetime and I have no desire to add more to that hurt."

 Fighting back her tears, she resumed her seat and landed the flyer.

 Neroon bowed and then picked up the fragile body of the human he loved so deeply and disappeared into his house.

 ///

Ivanova couldn't hold back her tears any longer and let them flow freely over her face. She prayed that Marcus would pull through.

 ///

Doctor Edwards stuck needles in Marcus' arm as he manoeuvred the IV's in place. Neroon watched the doctor's every move, concerned as he was that Marcus might be in pain. As soon as he'd entered his house Neroon had taken the unconscious human to a spare room. His servants had placed a human bed in it and the doctor had been waiting to get started on his patient.

Neroon had briefly averted his eyes as the physician checked Marcus' body for injuries; not wanting to infringe on Marcus' privacy. Oh, yes, he'd done so  in the past, but he was determined to change that. The doctor scanned his patient and Neroon heard him sigh and sought out the doctor's eyes.

"What happened to him? I've seen people in a bad way before, but nothing like this!" the doctor said in a worried tone. "He's heavily sedated, his right arm is broken, and his ribs are severely bruised. There are signs that he was sexually abused and he's completely dehydrated. It's a miracle that this man is still alive. The blindness you mentioned earlier is caused by a blood clot is his brain. Remove that and he'll be able to see again."

"There is a chance that he can regain his eyesight?" Neroon was afraid to let hope into his heart. If only that could be true.

"Before I can operate on him, he needs to get his strength back. His body can't take an operation at the present. Perhaps a week from now," Edwards informed him.

Neroon's thoughts swirled with all kinds of possibilities. It was true. Marcus had kept his blindness a secret and the doctor on Babylon 5 had never had the chance to check on the injury. He was determined to get Stephen Franklin to do the operation. "Would you mind my getting another physician to check on him? I realize that you are needed back at the Ranger Training Centre."

"No. Go ahead. I'll stay as long as necessary to get him out of this critical condition. I'll show you how to continue the treatment once I'm gone."

"Thank you, doctor Edwards." Neroon saw the strange look the human gave him. It was a well-known fact that he detested humans and never paid them any respect.

Edwards was pleasantly surprised with the way Neroon was treating him. " It'll take a few more hours before your friend wakes up."

"His name is Marcus." Neroon savoured speaking the name.  Never again will I call you my pretty one. You are beautiful, but I will not humiliate you any more. 

"Marcus Cole?"

The warrior smiled a sad smile. It had been only a matter of time before the doctor would discover who his patient was. "Yes. Marcus Cole, a ranger."

"I could take him back with me to the Centre, then he would be off your hands. He'll need a lot of help and won't be able to take care of himself with these injuries. He'll be a burden to you."

The remark made Neroon's blood boil. There was an odd expression on Neroon's face as he confronted the human doctor. "Marcus Cole will never be a burden to me. The Anla'Shok will stay here and you will tell me everything I need to know to tend to him. Is that understood?"

"Yes..."

With satisfaction, Neroon noted the stunned expression on the doctor's face.

Neroon sat beside the bed, watching Marcus breathe. The doctor had been called back to the Ranger Training Facility and Neroon had tried to contact Ivanova to tell her that Marcus would be all right; at least, he hoped so. She wasn't in and he'd left her a message. Then, he contacted Stephen Franklin.

The doctor had looked at him with a blaze of anger in his eyes as he recognized the Minbari. Neroon barely managed to make his request. There had been a Shadow attack on a civilian transport and Medlab was crowded with wounded people. Relief had washed through him as Stephen had agreed to come to Minbar as quickly as possible. But it would take him a couple of days. He had to take care of his new patients and Marcus had to get his strength back first before the operation could take place. Neroon felt ashamed as the doctor told him to keep his hands to himself. The warrior knew that he deserved the anger aimed at him.

Terminating the connection, he made one more call. He shivered as Delenn's face appeared on screen.

"Neroon. What do you want?"

Her eyes burned with a fury that he'd never seen before. "The Commander told you that we found Marcus?"

"Yes, and I disagree with her. Marcus should be brought back to Babylon 5. She is just as stubborn as you are."

"I will take good care of him, Delenn. He has been badly injured and won't be able to perform any of his duties as a ranger for quite some time." His voice shook as he locked eyes with her. "I promise to never again hurt him. I want him to heal, to become the person he used to be. If necessary I will stand in the High Court to be judged for my actions. But that is your decision to make, Delenn. If you want to make this a public case.... Marcus will be hurt even more. I do not care what happens to me, but if we go to court all of Minbar will know what happened between him and me. The dishonour is mine, not his."

Weighing Neroon's words, she found herself agreeing with him. She'd considered telling the High Court of Neroon's behaviour, but had realized that it would devastate Marcus even more. There was no shame in the fact that Neroon had chosen a human warrior as his mate, but the rape and intimidation would be a valid reason to convict the Minbari warrior. Delenn didn't want Marcus to go through the misery of a trial in order to prove Neroon's crimes. "I will not tell the High Court of your actions, Neroon. Susan asked me to give you a chance to right all wrongs with Marcus. But should you hurt him.... Then there will be no trial, Neroon. You will not be allowed to return to Minbar or any of its colonies. You will be as dead to us."

Neroon was amazed to hear these words. Delenn was telling him that he would be exiled from Minbar if he wronged Marcus one more time. " I understand, Entil'Zha."

Awed by the determination he'd seen in Delenn's eyes, he left his study and walked to the room where Marcus was resting. As he sat down, he studied the lines of suffering on the human's brow.  I love you so much...

 ///

Marcus had a nightmare, a bad one. A faceless male shape was forcing him on his hands and knees.... and he screamed out.

The scream woke Neroon, who had fallen asleep in the chair next to Marcus' bed. His dark eyes flashed open and he immediately searched the room for a possible intruder. It took him some moments to realize that Marcus was having a nightmare. The ranger was desperately trying to get out of bed, but the IV's and his injuries made it difficult for him to move.

Marcus cringed when pain pierced his chest and arm; he realized that it had just been a bad dream. But it had felt so real! Opening his eyes didn't help. The darkness remained and he curled himself into a tight ball, fighting the lingering nightmare.

Neroon hesitated. He wanted to reach out and comfort Marcus, but.... was that a wise thing to do? He had no idea how the human would react to his presence. The sedative was losing its effect and Neroon realized that he had to do something.

Marcus was trembling, afraid that they'd return to drug him. The physical pain was almost welcome; it silenced the fear that permeated his mind. His right arm had been bandaged and he touched the bandages around his ribcage. They were tending to his wounds. Were they afraid that he was going to die before he'd given them what they wanted? The fact that he wasn't naked any longer surprised him. He felt a soft, smooth fabric on his skin ...clothes. And he was warm, so warm, covered in soft blankets. He wanted to be held by someone, to hear that everything was going to be all right. He wished there was someone who cared for him: even Neroon's presence would soothe him.

The Minbari rose to his feet and sat down on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do. Neroon watched how Marcus trembled violently over his battered body. He had to reach out for him, no matter what the consequences might be. "Do not fear me, Marcus. You are safe. No one is going to hurt you, I promise." The warrior reached out for Marcus and with utmost care, gathered the frightened human in his arms. Surprised that Marcus didn't resist, he pulled him close to his chest, careful not to pull out the IV's. The trembling worsened for a second, then the ranger relaxed. Neroon's hand tangled in the raven locks, but this time, his touch wasn't cruel. It was gentle, tender, caring. Stroking the silky hair, he rocked Marcus in his arms.

Strong, but gentle arms lifted him from the bed and Marcus felt the warmth of another body close to him. He briefly wondered who it was and his body shook with fear as he tried to get away from the warmth. But he lacked the power and had to give in. Whoever was with him wanted to comfort him. He rested his head wearily against a shoulder. A hand tangled through his hair and he began to relax, feeling safe and sheltered. That was all he needed to feel. There were so many feelings raging through him that he had to concentrate on that feeling of being safe. He didn't want to feel the other emotions. The shame, the pain, his overwhelming feeling of helplessness was killing him. The blindness immobilized him and made him depended on others. He was being rocked in those strong arms and it reminded him of when he'd been a child. His mother had used to rock him like that, after he'd had a nightmare.

The trembling stopped at last and Neroon peeked at Marcus' face; his eyes were closed, and the paleness was growing less. It looked like Marcus was asleep again. Neroon stroked some strands of hair behind Marcus' ears and studied the ranger's face. This was going to be tough on both of them. Neroon had felt the start of a sexual reaction as he'd pulled Marcus into his arms and had successfully repressed it. He wouldn't allow his lust to rule his mind any longer. Having blown all his chances with Marcus, a sexual relationship was out of the question. That was something he had to accept. Neroon had promised himself that he was never again going to force Marcus into something the ranger didn't want.

Neroon tried to lay Marcus back on the bed, but the ranger clung to him like a frightened child. Marcus' left hand had a firm grip on his tunic. Marcus wasn't going to let go of him. Neroon smiled affectionately. The ranger needed someone to fight his fears, to keep the nightmares away and Neroon saw a chance to ease Marcus' pain just a little. He wished he could do more and realized that Marcus didn't know who it was he was holding on to. Still stroking the dark hair, Neroon shifted his position until his back rested against the headboard. He wasn't going to lie down in this bed… that would be tempting death. Gathering Marcus close to him, he pulled up the blankets and made sure that the ranger was warm.

Unable to fall asleep he stayed awake, watching over Marcus, keeping the nightmares away; clinging to Marcus the same way the ranger was holding on to him. Valen, I know that I do not deserve another chance, but...I cannot bear losing him.

The warrior didn't want to let go of the hurt human in his arms and did something that surprised even himself. He gently took Marcus' left hand and placed it on the spot where his own heart was. Then he placed his own hand on the same spot on Marcus' chest. The soft fabric of the tunic Marcus was wearing seemed to melt under his touch and for a moment Neroon swore he felt the very essence of Marcus' soul. It made him feel humble. He never expected to feel this deeply for this human.

Neroon spoke in Minbari, and his words were sincere while cherishing the warmth of Marcus close to him. "I promise that I will stay with you as long as you need me, or want me to stay. I love you and by speaking these words I commit myself to you. I will never again hurt you and I will respect your decisions. I extend my protection to you and will keep you safe. From one warrior to another."

The words echoed in Marcus' mind. When he'd first heard that voice, fear had clasped his throat shut. Neroon could be very violent and Marcus felt the nightmare reach out for him again. Images of the rapes flashed into his mind and he wanted to free himself of Neroon's embrace until he heard the Minbari words whispered in soft tones. Marcus stopped struggling. Did Neroon really mean this, or was it just another trick? Marcus was too tired to think this over and he could only hope that Neroon was honest while speaking those words. He'd recognized the first ritual of the bonding of two lovers and had no idea why Neroon was saying these words.

As he drifted off to sleep, he didn't realize that his left hand still rested on Neroon' s chest without the warrior holding it there. The last thing Marcus discovered before releasing his troubled mind to sleep was that Neroon wasn't wearing his black cloak. The fabric beneath his fingers had been soft.

Sensing Marcus' regular breathing at last assured Neroon that the ranger was asleep. As much as he wanted to stay with Marcus, there were matters he had to attend to. He had to find out who was behind Marcus' abduction. It had to be another Minbari warrior, but why Marcus? The way the ranger had been treated suggested that they wanted information from him, and all means had been allowed to get it. Neroon was certain that the woman had been there to lure Marcus in to a false sense of security, abusing the ranger's vulnerability. Laying Marcus gently back into the bed, Neroon tucked him in. Then he walked into his study, to start his investigation.

///

His ancient wooden desk was filled with papers and files. Neroon sighed sitting down. He'd been away too long and the other Warrior Clans were plotting against him. The fact that he hadn't killed Delenn had weakened his strategical position. Though he still had influence in the Warrior Council, he knew they disapproved of his choices. The rumour that he'd fallen in love with a human had spread quickly and Shakiri, the prominent leader of the Warrior Caste, had told him to choose a Minbari who would be a more worthy warrior.

Remembering that scene, Neroon wondered if Shakiri could be responsible for Marcus' abduction. Quickly, he dismissed the idea that Shakiri would mingle in his personal affairs. Soon, he would have to face the Warrior Council to explain his actions and to defend the decision he'd made by choosing a human ranger as his Kimarna, his significant other. They would be furious once they learned that he'd taken Marcus in to his house.

Thinking of Marcus distracted him from reading the reports of his second in command, Danzi. This young Minbari warrior was completely loyal to him. Neroon was thankful that he'd chosen his men carefully to be sure that no traitors would emerge from them. After he'd checked the entries in the central computer, Neroon sent a message to Danzi that he wanted to talk to him.

It took Danzi 5 minutes to get to Neroon's study. Lowering his eyes, Danzi waited.

"You know about the ranger?" Neroon said, studying him.

"Yes, Alit."

Neroon was unable to detect any disapproval in Danzi's eyes. To be honest, he didn't expect Danzi to disapprove of his choice concerning the ranger, but he did wonder if Danzi knew what he'd done to the human. "Marcus is very precious to me. I want the house secured and the guards doubled," Neroon stated in a determined tone.

"Excuse me, Alit, but are you expecting an attack?"

"I do not know, Danzi. I wish I knew. Someone abducted the ranger and I do not want that to happen again."

"I understand, Alit."

Looking at Danzi's face, Neroon considered his second in command. Yes, perhaps Danzi did understand. Concentrating again, he remembered his doubts about Shakiri's involvement in Marcus' abduction. He needed to know if Shakiri was the enemy or not. "Also, I want you to set up a meeting with Shakiri, preferently in this house. I need to talk to him."

"I will see to it." Danzi waited for more instructions, but Neroon dismissed him.

Sitting behind his desk, Neroon mused about the changed situation. He was thankful to Susan Ivanova for this final chance. In her heart she must know the truth.... Neroon was surprised to see Danzi enter his study again. He seemed agitated. "What is wrong?"

"It is the Anla'Shok. He has started screaming."

Neroon didn't answer him. Immediately, the warrior got up from his chair and he rushed into Marcus' room within seconds. Marcus was lying on his side, trying to get the IV's out.

"Please let me die… I don't want to live!" The ranger screamed in obvious pain.

Neroon saw the empty stare in Marcus' eyes. The blind ranger was on a rampage and had to be stopped before he would hurt himself. Neroon gathered his courage; afraid his presence would intimidate the ranger. He hesitantly approached the bed, still keeping his distance.

Let me die! Marcus was in pain, not so much physical as emotional pain. He tried to get the IV's out of his arm, but his coordination was so bad that his fingers missed the tubes by inches. His ribs hurt and his fractured arm sent waves of pain through his body. Normally, the pain wouldn't faze him, but not after all he'd been through lately.

Flashes of Martha, Susan and Neroon mingled in his mind and he cried out in anguish, trying to crawl to the headboard. Marcus pulled his legs up and tried to make himself as small as possible.  Please, I can't take more pain. If only he knew what his kidnapper wanted, but they never asked him any questions. They hurt him without giving him a reason.

Then, he'd heard Neroon's voice, vague and distant, promising to protect him and keep him safe. The dream returned and Marcus remembered how safe he'd felt once he'd accepted Neroon's embrace. But it had only been a dream and they'd return once they realized that the sedative had worn off. He wanted to get away from the hurt, but the small room in which they held him prisoner offered him no chance of escape. Clutching his fractured arm with his left hand, he rested the broken limb against his chest. "Kill me, get it over with," he pleaded in a strangled tone.

For the first time in his life the warrior felt truly helpless. It was obvious that Marcus still believed that he was being held prisoner in that small, filthy room. Neroon took one a deep breath and plunged ahead, talking softly to Marcus. "Marcus? You are safe. No one is going to hurt you. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I want to help you."

Recognizing Neroon's voice sent two different messages to the ranger's brain.  Run, he's going to hurt you. Remember the rape? Remember how he used you?  Marcus shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the two voices.  Neroon is telling you that he will protect you. He came after you, to get you out. 

"Get out of my head!" Marcus yelled. Despair began to get a hold of him as he failed to silence the two voices. He trembled and had no idea how to get back in control of his sanity. All of a sudden two arms pulled him back on the bed until he rested against a warm body. Focusing on the scent, he realized it was Neroon. It hadn't been his imagination playing tricks on him. The warrior was here...

"Marcus… No one will hurt you, I promise."

Hot tears made their way over Marcus' cheeks and he felt embarrassed for showing his fear this openly. He doubted his sanity, was his mind playing tricks on him? Marcus had wished for the Minbari to have a softer, more caring side and now it seemed like Neroon truly wanted to comfort him. There was no more strength left inside him so Marcus surrendered. Resting his tired body against Neroon made him aware of the physical closeness of the warrior. Panic flashed through him. What if this was only a charade and Neroon was going to hurt him again?

Neroon sensed Marcus' fear. The emotions were visible on the human's face and Neroon didn't know how to take that fear away. His former actions had caused this pain. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't make the hurt go away. It would take a lot of time and care. Neroon knew that the core of that pain would always stay with Marcus, the hurt too deep. "Marcus, you will recover, I will see to that."

Registering the words, Marcus wanted to look at Neroon's eyes, but he saw nothing except blackness. He'd forgotten about his blindness. His thoughts were a mess, but he heard Neroon call him by his name and Marcus didn't understand. For as long as he'd known Neroon, the warrior had never called him by his name. "You called me Marcus? You never did that before."

Hearing the pain in Marcus' voice shamed the warrior even more. "I know that I wronged you, Marcus. I was ruled by lust, not love. Now that I realize that, it's too late. I humiliated you far too many times. But I didn't know how to court you!" His voice rose, taking on a desperate tone. "Within the Warrior Caste, it's tradition to take what one wants. I thought I could get away with it, by claiming you as my own. By doing that I broke the spirit I admire in you. One day I will ask you for forgiveness, one day in the future when you have healed. Now, try to get some rest. The doctor told me that you are exhausted and if you want me to stay, I will do so. If you tell me to leave, I will leave. What do you want, Marcus?"

"You're not going to...hurt me?" Marcus whispered, still afraid.

"No. I won't hurt you. I promise by Valen that I will never again hurt you."

Marcus heard the words, but couldn't believe them. It didn't matter anyway. The only thing he felt was pain and the only thing he wanted was someone to hold him. "Then stay."

The words were a whisper and Neroon had to lean in closely to hear them. "If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell me to stop. Do you hear me, Marcus?"

"Yes… but you promised me once before that you wouldn't hurt me and yet you did."  Marcus remembered Neroon's promise after he'd chosen to be with the warrior after he'd turned blind. The Minbari had broken that promise.

"I know, Marcus. But I'm determined to treat you right this time. Now sleep and get better."

Marcus had no choice. His eyes closed and he felt soothed as Neroon stroked his hair. The pain started to retreat and he relaxed. If only Neroon were sincere. The first time Neroon had come to his quarters to tell him that he'd fallen in love with him, Marcus had thought that the feeling could be mutual. For a brief instant, he'd considered the possibility of him and Neroon being lovers. The brutal rapes had changed everything. Marcus started to tremble slightly.

The warrior sensed what Marcus was thinking about for his thoughts had also drifted back to the first time when he'd confronted Marcus with his feelings. He would never forget the strange mixture of wonder, anticipation and want in Marcus' eyes upon revealing his secret to the ranger; and then madness had taken over. His lust had driven him to possess the ranger in body and soul. "Sleep Marcus, I will guard your dreams."

The ranger dozed off without knowing it.

The moment Neroon was certain that Marcus was asleep he checked the IV's and felt relieved that they were still in place and functioning, glad that he didn't have to re-insert the needles beneath the skin. Realizing that he was going to spend the night here, he stretched his legs and checked the time. It was almost midnight and it had been 20 hours since they'd managed to free Marcus. This was going to be a very long night!

///

Marcus woke from another nightmare and panicked when he realized that he didn't know where the hell he was. If only he could see! He felt something that reminded him of warm beams of sunlight on his face, but that was impossible. There had been no source of warmth in his small cell. Slowly, he realized that he wasn't alone. His head was resting on someone's chest and then everything started to come back to him.

Neroon was with him and had promised to protect him. Marcus felt horrified when he remembered how relieved he'd been that the warrior hadn't hurt him. Only months ago he would have never believed that he could be this messed up and scared.

The ranger remembered how he'd cleaned house when Nightwatch had taken Delenn. He'd faced Neroon in Down Below, had challenged him to Denn'Sha. It seemed another lifetime, like a different Marcus had fought all those battles. He'd lost part of himself. Neroon had broken him and he'd given up. The warrior had achieved his goal; he was too messed up to resist Neroon's claim any longer. If Neroon decided to give it one more try, he would have to accept him as his master. His strength, his very will to prove Neroon wrong had disappeared.

 I don't only feel helpless. Let's face it, I am helpless. A blind cripple and what does Neroon want with that? Perhaps he will lose his interest in me and let me go.  Then he could find a place to hide and he would welcome death. Peace at last

The expression on Neroon's face was one of wonder and hope. He'd been awake for one hour now and had witnessed the beautiful sunrise through the window from the bed. Marcus had shifted a couple of times during his sleep and now lay beside him. Marcus' head rested on his chest and Neroon was still stroking the dark hair. He knew Marcus was awake, feeling the subtle difference in the ranger's breathing. Once again, Neroon felt an erection start, but he was determined to suppress it, not wanting to frighten Marcus. He moved a little and was relieved as his arousal diminished. There was an awkward moment as he realized that he needed to get out of bed. His muscles hurt from sleeping in this strange position. "Marcus? Are you awake?" he whispered softly.

"Yes..." Marcus' answer was even softer, barely audible.

"I need to get to my feet."

Marcus moved as carefully as he could, trying not to put any pressure on his injuries. He'd dreaded this moment. If Neroon were going to sexually assault him this would be the perfect moment for it. Hiding his face behind his long hair Marcus tried hard to control his fear, but to no avail. His heart was pounding as Neroon's hands tucked him in.

"I will check and see if that human cook has managed to produce something for breakfast." Seeing Marcus act like this made him angry with himself. He was responsible for the way the ranger was.

The core of his anger was aimed at himself. Not getting any answer from Marcus, he left the room. Exchanging a look with the security guard standing in the corridor, he knew that the ranger would be safe. Marcus was being watched. He hurried to the dojo and programmed the machine. It took him half an hour to get the rage out of his system. Just in time he remembered that he'd promised to get Marcus some breakfast and wondered what humans ate for breakfast.

A bit amazed he stared at the tray the cook had handed him. Neroon was actually capable of identifying most on it. Tea, milk, toast, some fruits, cereal. He'd eaten his own breakfast minutes earlier and had wanted to carry the tray himself; waving the Minbari away who had offered to carry it for him. Marcus had to be hungry by now. As the guard opened the door, Neroon saw that Marcus was sitting upright in the bed. The ranger supported his fractured arm and Neroon hated seeing the dark circles beneath Marcus' eyes.

Marcus heard the door open and wondered who had entered the room. The footfalls told him that it was Neroon. The warrior's behavior this far puzzled him. He couldn't remember that Neroon had ever treated him this kindly, almost respectfully.

"I brought you something to eat. You must be hungry." Neroon placed the tray on the side of the bed and watched Marcus.

The ranger raised his head in a desperate attempt to see the expression on the warrior's face.

Neroon swallowed. He hadn't told Marcus of the possibility that his eyesight could be restored, not wanting to raise Marcus' hopes. Neroon needed Stephen Franklin's opinion first.

"Why are you being so kind to me? I don't know you like this." Frustrated, Marcus tried to get in to a more comfortable position, but he'd forgotten about his bruised ribs.

Neroon watched him struggle and wanted to help him, but refrained from doing so. If he really wanted the ranger to regain his strength then he had to be careful not to treat Marcus as a cripple. "You might find this hard to believe Marcus, but I do love you, in my own way. I want to make it up to you for my past mistakes."

Shaking his head, Marcus mumbled something Neroon couldn't understand.

"What?"

Marcus remained silent. He wished he could trust the warrior, but he distrusted Neroon. The warrior had hurt him too many times.

Feeling Marcus' discomfort, Neroon didn't push the matter. "Do you want some tea?"

Marcus nodded slightly.

Neroon took his hand and placed Marcus' fingers around the teacup.

Marcus knew that lifting the cup would show how intimidated he felt. His hand was shaking and he hesitated.

Seeing the fear in Marcus' eyes, Neroon slipped his own fingers beneath the ranger's and lifted the cup to Marcus' lips.

The ranger was thirsty and relished the tea. He recognized the flavour, Darjeeling tea. After sipping from the tea, Neroon placed his fingers on the various items on the tray, enabling him to make a choice. Marcus really craved some toast, but handling the knife was too difficult. He cringed as Neroon took the knife from his fingers, afraid that the tray would be taken away, but seconds later, Neroon handed him the toast.

Marcus almost grabbed the toast from Neroon's hands and sank his teeth into it. He was hungry, but too embarrassed to ask Neroon to prepare more toast for him, not knowing that the Minbari was eyeing him carefully. The ranger was presented with another slice and he dug into it. The next thing Neroon offered him was some Minbari fruit, a mixture between an orange and an apple.

Marcus didn't realize that he was actually smiling as he tasted the sweet fruit, but Neroon did see that smile and it gave him hope that not everything was lost yet. "Do you want some milk?" Neroon wondered why humans drank this liquid. He had sipped from it during his walk to Marcus' room and found that he hated the foul taste.

"Yes." The mug, filled with milk, was pressed into his hand and Marcus wondered why Neroon was actually helping him eat breakfast. Why was Neroon going through all this trouble? Handing the empty mug back to Neroon, he began to feel tired and tried to hide the embarrassment he felt for being depended on the Minbari warrior.

"You are still tired, aren't you?" Neroon asked concerned.

"Yes… I am."

"Try to get more rest. I have a lot of paperwork to do. And Marcus?"

"Yes… Neroon?" It was the first time that he'd spoken the warrior's name since Neroon's last assault. His voice trembled and he knew that Neroon heard the tension in his words.

"Should you need me, call me. The guard outside will get me."

"I don't think that will be necessary... I can't leave this room and I'm so bloody tired." Marcus was starting to feel even more uncomfortable. Neroon was acting like he truly cared!

Studying Marcus, he wondered what the human was thinking. He could literally feel Marcus' fear and he hated himself for what he had done to the ranger. "Just remember that I am close, should something happen." Neroon barely resisted the urge to kiss Marcus on his brow, but he knew that it would ruin everything he'd achieved this far. Although Marcus clearly didn't trust him, the ranger tolerated his presence. It was a start. Instead of kissing him, he gently took Marcus' hand and placed it on the ranger's chest as he had done before and twined his own fingers around Marcus' cold fingers. Neroon saw the stunned expression on Marcus' face as he spoke once more in Minbari. "From this day on I will care for you and watch over you. I pledge myself to you."

Marcus heard the words, but didn't understand why Neroon would want to speak them. Remembering the first time Neroon had pledged his love for him, he realized that Neroon now had spoken the second part of a bonding ritual, the Shi'reg.

"You never cared for any ceremony or rituals between us, why now? I'm in no condition to reject you or defeat you in a fight, should you want to.... force me as you have done before," Marcus said, horrified. Fear grasped his heart; he'd just told Neroon that he couldn't fight him, in case Neroon wanted to claim him as his own. It would futile to fight Neroon. He was utterly unable to defend himself. Feeling helpless like this scared Marcus tremendously.

"I want to do this right, Marcus. I do not know if you will give me another chance, but in order to save your honour, I need to bond with you. Then, should you leave me, there will be no dishonour in the eyes of the Minbari when they look upon you. I will declare you my Kirmana. The ones who want to hurt you will know that I will protect you and necessarily strike back at them. There is no other way for me to restore your honour to you. I know that I can't really restore that honour, I.... raped it and...." his voice dropped as he confessed his horrid crimes to his victim.

Pledging himself like that couldn't save his honour. Neroon wasn't interested in saving his own honour at this point. But the warrior felt the deep urge to protect the ranger from future harassment. Neroon knew that by taking this pledge he would be bound to Marcus as long as the ranger lived. This was a very serious oath and carried great weight. The pledge demanded of him that he would defend Marcus' life with his own as long as he lived. He wanted, no needed, to do penance for the way he'd hurt the human.

Neroon stopped talking as Marcus started to pound on the mattress. He knew that the ranger felt used and that Marcus was intensely angry with him. Immediately, he tried to stop the ranger, afraid that Marcus was going to inflict even more injuries on himself as he was pounding the pillow with his broken arm.

Marcus struggled to free himself as the Minbari tried to subdue him.

"Marcus? Stop this! You are hurting yourself!"

The words Neroon had spoken were whirling through his mind. The Minbari had admitted that he'd raped him, that he didn't have the right to take his honour away from him! A strange feeling of relief washed through Marcus. Perhaps the warrior did have a change of heart. But to actually hear Neroon say that he'd raped him made Marcus feel miserable. There was no more denying between them.

"Why couldn't you be gentle?" Marcus wanted to know. "The first time you came to me.... I felt the same way, a bit frightened of the unknown perhaps...But I would have given you what you wanted.... You had no right to forcefully take it from me and involve other people in it.... Like Susan...Susan! Is she all right? What did you do to her?"

Neroon had expected this question sooner and later. Marcus was becoming hysterical and he had to do something to calm Marcus down. Tenderly running his fingers over the inside of Marcus' wrist, he pressed several nerve endings. He knew a bit about the Minbari version of acupuncture and Neroon figured that human pressure points wouldn't differ too much from the Minbari ones. It worked: Marcus began to feel drowsy. Putting more pressure on one certain point, made the ranger lay down.

Still rubbing the pressure points, Neroon said, "Susan helped me to get you out of your prison. She loves you and it was hard for her to make the decision that I was the one who had to help you heal. I objected to her decision, but that woman is stubborn."

"Yes, she is, isn't she?" Marcus had no idea what Neroon was doing, but he felt comfortable and the sudden fright and terror were disappearing quickly as the pain in his body began to diminish.

"If you want to see her, you can contact her. I promised her that I would not prevent you from getting in touch with her."

"And will you keep that promise?" Marcus' unseeing eyes stared at the ceiling and he didn't resist as Neroon moved his fingers up his arm, to find even more pressure points.

Neroon had used this technique many times before when his men had been wounded in battle and there had been no medical help available. He knew how to stop the pain in Marcus' body. Applying the pressure one last time, just underneath Marcus' elbow, made Marcus close his eyes. Neroon observed Marcus for some moments until he was sure that the ranger was soundly asleep. Pulling up the comforter, he placed one kiss reverently on Marcus' brow. "Yes, Marcus, I will keep my promise."

"Alit? "

Neroon didn't turn around. He'd already recognized Danzi's voice. First, he wanted to say good-bye to Marcus for now. "Sleep tight, Marcus." Rising from the bed, Neroon rubbed his temples, then focused on Danzi.

"I got word from Shakiri. He's on his way over here and will arrive in one hour."

"Well done." Neroon followed Danzi out of the room. He didn't want to wake Marcus. "I do not trust Shakiri. Run all usual checks and prepare for a possible confrontation. You know Shakiri's temper. "

"Of course, Alit. You can rest assured that all precautions will be taken," Danzi assured him with a determined expression in his eyes.

"Good." Neroon returned to his study to prepare himself for the upcoming confrontation with the most influential leader of the Warrior Caste; Shai Alit Shakiri.

///

"Alit?"

Neroon was surprised to see Danzi return to his study so quickly. He had thought the young warrior would be busy checking the stronghold's defences.

"Doctor Edwards just arrived to check on the Anla'Shok. Do you want him to wait?"

"Has Shakiri's escort already called in?" Neroon inquired.

"No."

"Then show the doctor in and warn me the second Shakiri arrives."

"As you wish, Alit," Danzi said, bowed and left the room.

Pushing his chair back, Neroon rose to his feet. He hadn't expected the doctor's visit and wondered why he hadn't been informed of the human's intentions. Wondering about what this could mean, he walked into Marcus' room. His study was located in the same corridor; Neroon had arranged that on purpose. He wanted to be close in case something went wrong with Marcus.

Doctor Edwards entered the small room moments later.

Marcus was still asleep and frankly, Neroon didn't want to wake him. "Doctor, I had no idea you were on your way over."

"I just want to see how our patient is doing."

Observing Edward's every move, Neroon remained standing near the doorway. The physician unhooked the ranger from the IV's and stopped the bleeding the little wounds caused.

Marcus stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake up.

"Has he eaten yet?" the doctor wanted to know.

Neroon nodded, remembering the foul taste of that milk. "He had breakfast."

"That's good. He needs a lot of fluids. Just make sure he continues to eat. If he refuses, I have to start the IV's again."

"I will see to it."

Edwards checked the bandages and was pleased. This new type of porous bandages sealed the wound more effectively than simple gauze and thus assisted in the healing process. The broken arm and bruised ribs would be properly healed in less than three weeks.

Marcus woke when someone touched his face, but he kept his eyes firmly shut.

"The grazes on his face are also starting to heal," Edwards said approvingly.

Marcus realized that a stranger was in the room. Probably a doctor by the way he was probing his wounds. Was Neroon also present?

"Alit, you have to make sure that he stays in bed. Short walks to the bathroom are allowed, but nothing else. He needs to rest," Edwards instructed him.

"I understand, anything else?" Neroon watched Marcus closely and the tiny changes in Marcus' breathing gave the ranger away. Marcus was awake, but seemed to prefer to act like he was still asleep. Assuming Marcus would have his reasons for doing so, Neroon waited for the doctor's reply.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take him with me to the Ranger Training Centre?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Observing Marcus, Neroon noticed the tiny shivers running through the ranger's body. What thoughts were swirling around in Marcus' mind?

As the doctor probed his ribs, Marcus couldn't keep quiet. It hurt! A moan emanated from his lips and he tried to move away from Edwards' hands. Realizing that he couldn't continue to pretend to be asleep any longer, he had to open his eyes.

"Hello, Marcus. How do you feel? I'm Doctor Edwards and I have been treating your injuries. Are you in any kind of pain?"

Neroon was curious for Marcus' reply. It was obvious that the ranger was in pain. The expression on Marcus' face had given the human away. If Neroon was correct about the ranger, Marcus was going to deny any discomfort.

"No, I'm fine." Marcus' fingers moved to pull the blanket closer to his body. He felt vulnerable in the presence of the two men, still expecting to see when opening his eyes.

"Now why don't I believe you?" Edwards obviously doubted the ranger's answer and exchanged a look with the Minbari.

Neroon shrugged. He didn't expect the ranger to acknowledge his pain. Even during Denn-Sha, Marcus had ignored his injuries.

Marcus shifted uncomfortably. He knew that he couldn't fool the doctor, but he didn't want their pity.

"I'm going to leave behind some painkillers and sleeping pills. Give him one when the pain becomes unbearable." Edwards looked at Neroon to see if the Minbari understood his instructions. The doctor placed two vials on the small table underneath the window.

Neroon studied the content. Once he was sure that he understood the labels he carefully put them back. "You can rest assured, doctor. If necessary he will take them."

"Good." Edwards pulled up the blankets and made sure Marcus wasn't cold. The doctor eyed him for a moment then beckoned Neroon to follow him out of the room. "I'm going to leave now, Marcus. Should you need me, tell Alit Neroon and he'll send for me."

"Thank you, doctor." Marcus just wanted the physician to leave him alone. He wanted everyone to leave him be!

Closing the door behind him, Neroon waited for Edwards to start talking. Something was troubling the human.

"I received a call from Doctor Franklin from Babylon 5. He wanted to know if ranger Cole was treated well. Now, why would he be that worried for Marcus Cole? Is there something I need to know? After all, I'm his doctor," Edwards said in somewhat worried tone.

Mentally cursing himself, Neroon wondered what to tell the human. He didn't want everyone to know what had happened between him and the ranger. Not because he was concerned for his own reputation, but because he wanted to spare Marcus the embarrassment. "I had some disagreements with the Anla'Shok. I almost killed him in a pike fight."

"I heard about him challenging you to Denn-sha. I'm surprised you let him live. I've seen you fight, Alit. Marcus Cole never had a chance."

Thankfully Edwards seemed appeased by his explanation. Neroon watched the human leave and couldn't resist returning to Marcus' room. Not wanting to step in there without permission, he knocked on the door.

"Yes? Enter?" Marcus was biting his lip. Edwards' examination had worsened the pain in his chest. The bruised ribs made it hard for him to breathe properly and the ranger was faced with another problem. He desperately needed to visit the lavatory, but where was the bloody bathroom? Gathering his strength, he recognized Neroon's footfalls.  I don't have a choice, have I? I need Neroon's help.

There was an uncomfortable expression on Marcus' face and Neroon knew what bothered the ranger. A warrior himself, Neroon knew how hard it must be on Marcus to depend on others. It looked like Marcus wanted to crawl out of bed, but wavered. "Can I help you somehow, Marcus?"

"Yes, you could tell me... show me where I can find the bathroom," he whispered embarrassed.

Neroon looked at the sling the doctor had handed him before leaving. Marcus was still supporting his broken arm and the sling would be helpful. Suddenly Neroon realized that he'd been lost in thought and remembered Marcus' question. "I will show you, but you better use this sling to support your broken limb."

The ranger tried to hang onto his composure hearing Neroon walk over to the bed.

"I'm going to put the sling over your shoulder." Neroon thought it wise to tell the ranger what he was doing. The warrior couldn't imagine being blind, but he realized that it must be hard on the human.

As the sling slipped over his shoulder, Marcus cringed. Neroon had lifted his broken arm to place it in the sling, but he sighed once his arm was supported. This was much better.

"The bathroom," Neroon muttered silently to himself as he waited for Marcus to push back the blankets.

Stunned, the ranger realized that he'd been dressed in soft pants and an oversized tunic. Marcus couldn't help wondering if it had been Neroon who had dressed him.

"No, Doctor Edwards dressed you." Neroon had no idea why he made that remark.

"I didn't ask you anything. Why did you say that?" Marcus' soft voice trembled.

"I don't know. Must have been thinking along similar lines."

Marcus had been startled when he had heard Neroon's answer to his unspoken question. Not sure whether to push that matter, he decided to let it rest. His first priority was to get to a lavatory.

"Can you get to your feet by yourself?" Neroon asked.

"Now, that might be a challenge." Marcus was trying to reach for his old armour of wit. It had served him well in the past, but would it serve him now? He was determined not to show his uncertainty. Could he trust Neroon? The Minbari seemed sincere... but there was this voice warning him not to trust the Alit. Don't let Neroon fool you. He's dangerous. You know that. 

Finally, he managed to place his feet on the floor. As he sat on the bed he realized that he was short of breath due to the bruised ribs. Catching his breath, he raised himself from the bed. Swaying on his feet, he tried to reach out to something to steady him.

It tore Neroon's heart apart to see Marcus like this. The ranger stood, but was unsteady on his feet. As Marcus tried to find something to keep him from falling Neroon instinctively took hold of the ranger's hand and waited for Marcus' reaction to that touch.

Grabbing hold of the offered arm, Marcus succeeded in staying on his feet.

"This way," Neroon said, guiding the ranger who had accepted his assistance, his touch!

Moving slowly, Marcus walked over to the bathroom and tried to memorize the number of steps and the direction in case he needed to visit the bathroom again. Walking in darkness still scared him and he knew that he would never get used to it. Hearing Neroon opening a door, he allowed the Minbari to gently pull him inside.

Then that strange ritual started again; Neroon led him around the bathroom and placed his hands on the various items inside. It reminded him of how Neroon had helped him to eat his breakfast earlier on. Marcus knew that he would never be able to memorize everything inside the bathroom.

"I will wait outside." Neroon told him in a friendly tone.

Sighing, Marcus heard the door close. For one brief instant he'd been afraid that Neroon was going to stay. The way Neroon's behaviour had changed was uncanny. The present Neroon seemed so different from the one who had stalked him on Babylon 5. This fact confused him. If Neroon would still be acting like a bastard, then everything wouldn't be that complicated. He would have asked Edwards to take him to the ranger base, but ...Neroon had changed, tremendously.

After he'd relieved himself, Marcus ran his fingers over the wall until he reached the washbowl. Washing his hands, his head dropped to his chest and he told himself to hang in there. He was no quitter. His father had once told him that something that didn't kill you, only made you stronger. He hoped that his father had been right. The ranger moved his hand along the wall until he found the door-handle.

Pacing the room made Neroon feel claustrophobic. He had to concentrate on the confrontation with Shakiri and all he could think about was Marcus. Neroon was still trying to figure out how he had lost all control weeks ago. How could he have raped Marcus? It wasn't like him. He prided himself on being a honourable warrior and never before had he resorted to that kind of action. The thing that worried him most was that there were blank spots in his memory.

I know what I did to Marcus, but how can I forget something like that?  Frustrated, he started to pace faster. He needed the answers to those questions. There was a way to get them, but he didn't like the idea of being scanned by a Minbari telepath. He had to find another solution. His musings were interrupted when he the door-handle moved.

Composing himself, Marcus stepped into the room. He counted the steps he took. Marcus reached the bed before he realized it and almost stumbled.  He's still here.. Marcus heard the warrior's breathing. As he sat down on the bed a sharp rush of pain coursed through him. It would take weeks for his ribs and arm to heal.

Neroon refrained from helping the ranger to the bed. He wanted to treat the blind human with as much dignity as possible. After all, the ranger was a warrior and had proven to be a worthy adversary. During Denn-Sha Marcus had managed to hit some very painful spots. Neroon would never make the mistake of underestimating the ranger again. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Marcus slowly shook his head. The little walk to the bathroom had tired him and he just wanted to sleep.

"Then I will leave you now. I have a meeting to attend to and...." Neroon was cut off as someone knocked on the door. "Yes?"

Marcus listened carefully and someone else entered the room.

"Danzi?" Neroon said.

Although Marcus wasn't fluent in the language of the Warrior Caste he understood the basic content and smiled briefly. Danzi and Neroon were talking in their own language and probably didn't expect a human ranger to comprehend. As far as he was able to understand, Shakiri had arrived and wanted to talk to Neroon. The ranger had never met the leader of the Warrior Caste, but the stories that surrounded Shakiri were drenched in blood, human and Minbari blood.

"I have to leave you now. Danzi will be in the corridor, should you need him, and Marcus..."

Crooking his head, the ranger waited for Neroon to finish his sentence.

"Stay in bed. I don't want you sneaking out of here and wandering off by yourself. You heard the good doctor. You need to rest. Am I making myself clear?"

Does he really care for me? He almost sounds like Stephen when the big nag is on a roll. "I understand, Alit." Marcus added the last word to get a response out of Neroon. The ranger heard him mutter something about humans being a strange people and he could have sworn that the other Minbari was chuckling. Feeling strangely at peace, Marcus drifted off to sleep.

Danzi watched Neroon intensely. The young Minbari wasn't stupid and his instincts had long told him what must have occurred between the ranger and his Alit. But the thing that puzzled him most was how Neroon could have acted in a way like that. Danzi had known his Alit for 30 Minbari cycles and had always respected the warrior. Never once had he doubted Neroon's honour and even now he refused to accept that Neroon had behaved dishonourably. There had to be an explanation for Neroon's obsessive behaviour.

Neroon was enthralled by the way Marcus looked while he was asleep and hoped that the ranger's sleep would be free of nightmares. "Keep a close eye on him, Danzi. If one of Shakiri's men tries to get in here or attempts to get any information concerning the Anla'Shok, warn me. We need to be very careful for I have a feeling that Shakiri could be our enemy."

"I will guard him with my life."

Neroon nodded. Danzi had never let him down. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for the meeting with Shakiri. One way or another, he was going to get some answers!

///

A deadly silence descended in Neroon's study as Shakiri, and his second in command Dannier, strode into the room. Neroon remained seated and studied Shakiri intensely. Having known the leader of the Warrior Caste most of his life he could tell that Shakiri was gloating. There was a sick grin on Shakiri's face. His teeth bared, Shakiri sat down opposite Neroon. Shifting in his seat, Neroon continued to search for clues why Shakiri had come in the first place. Shakiri obviously felt very sure of himself. Had his instincts been right? Was Shakiri behind all this? But why? Shakiri had told Neroon a couple of times that he wanted him as his successor. That would imply that Shakiri would trust him, so why move against him? Neroon decided that it was time to face the powerful Minbari. Neroon was surprised that he felt this confident.

"You want to talk to me?"

Neroon noticed the tiny tremors in Shakiri's voice. Wherever his sanity had been hiding these last couple of weeks, it had returned to him. "Yes. I need your support." Setting up his tactic carefully, Neroon observed Shakiri's reactions. He was going to play this game on his terms.

"Support? What kind of support?"

He acts like he's ignorant. That's a mistake. He should realize that no one will believe that the leader of the Warrior Caste does not know what is going on with one of his Clan leaders.  "Are you honestly telling me that you have not heard about the Anla' Shok?"  I must be careful not to mention Marcus' name or the details. Shakiri will make a mistake. I have to be patient. Well, I have to admit that patience was never my strongest character trait...  Neroon listened carefully to Shakiri's tone as the older Minbari answered him.

"You know what I think about humans."

The last word was uttered with loathing. Neroon didn't expect something else. Yes, he knew of Shakiri's opinion of humans ...and of Delenn for that matter. He was about to add something to infuriate his leader as Shakiri rose from his chair. Towering over Neroon, Shakiri leaned over the desk with teeth bared.  He's actually trying to intimidate me! I did not realize how much Shakiri hated humans. Is that his motivation? That hate? But where do Marcus and I fit in?

"You started this... madness, Neroon. I sent you to Babylon 5 to make sure Delenn would not gain more power and what do you do? You allow a  human to stop you. The thought that the Anla'Shok are allowing humans to be trained on Minbar is appalling! These humans are gaining too much influence. I thought you understood, Neroon. I saw you as my successor... I trusted you and then you betray me!"

Neroon was trying hard to remain calm. He never expected Shakiri to lose his composure like this and it told him something about the older Minbari. Hate was coursing through Shakiri and that hate was driving Shakiri insane. Neroon needed all his discipline not to reply in the same manner. He had to think, not act. "I know their growing influence bothers you, but why blame me? Because times are changing and I am one of the first to notice it?" Let's see if I can press some of Shakiri's buttons. I used to be good at luring my enemies into traps. Let's see if I can still pull it off.

"Are you still defending those puny, inferior creatures?"

Shakiri started to pace the room like a caged predator and Neroon knew he was close to getting the answers he needed so badly. He made his next remark on purpose to anger Shakiri. "Yes. I think humans have a great potential. We should treat them as equals."

"Equals! Did you lose your mind when you fell in love with that pathetic excuse for an Anla'Shok?"

Holding his raging emotions in check, Neroon rose to his feet as well. All of a sudden he remembered an argument he'd had with Shakiri after he'd returned from Babylon 5. He'd told his Caste leader about the proud Anla' Shok who had faced him, invoking Denn-sha. Then it hit him. He had also told Shakiri about certain feelings he'd developed for the human ranger. During his visit to Medlab, Neroon had discovered that he felt attracted to Marcus Cole and had even remembered mentioning the ranger's name to his Caste leader.

Shakiri's facial expression returned to Neroon. Shakiri had told him in an icy tone to forget about the human ranger. All kind of forgotten memories were surfacing in his mind now that he was talking to Shakiri. Like that meeting he had with Shakiri and Dannier just before his obsessive behaviour concerning Marcus had started. He'd just returned from a visit he paid Durhann and Shakiri had been waiting for him in the great hall of the Warrior Council. Neroon vaguely remembered walking into Shakiri's private chambers and then? And then what? What had happened? Why couldn't he remember that meeting? It was just another blank spot in his mind. Neroon was now convinced that Shakiri was involved somehow. Perhaps if he pushed Shakiri a bit harder, the Minbari would give himself away. It was a dangerous game he was playing, but he'd always loved a challenge. "Marcus is an excellent warrior," Neroon started. "Durhann trained him very well and you better pray that you will not meet him in battle. He would certainly defeat you in a pike fight." Shakiri's face contorted in anger and for a moment, Shakiri's true character showed. Neroon almost pitied the older Minbari.

"He must be good in bed if you defend him like that. Tell me, should I try him?" Shakiri hissed.

How does he dare to insult Marcus like this? Neroon had been able to control his emotions this far, but that remark made his blood boil. He realized that Shakiri had said it on purpose and told himself to remain composed. Shakiri is losing his patience. I have to use that to my advantage. I can get payback later. This insult will be punished. 

"You will stay away from him," Neroon said in a determined tone. "He's my Kirmana and should you even try to hurt him, I will challenge you to Denn-Sha. And you are no match for me, Shakiri." Neroon felt utterly satisfied as he saw the stunned look on Shakiri's face. The older Minbari had never expected that reaction. Come on, Shakiri, tell me something that will give you away.

"Kirmana? You would choose a human over the finest warriors Minbar has to offer? The drugs must have affected your mind!" Shakiri turned on his heels and marched out of the room. Dannier followed his master.

Neroon was still thinking about Shakiri's last remark. Drugs? What drugs is Shakiri referring too? Neroon was lost in thought and his eyes wandered off. Shakiri and Dannier had halted and Neroon's heart missed a beat when he realized that Marcus was standing in the corridor. Marcus? No!

///

The moment the argument started in Neroon's study, Marcus woke from his slumber. Briefly unsure of his whereabouts he remembered where he was. He didn't bother to open his eyes. Using his other senses he tried to learn what was going on. A moan escaped his lips as he tried to shift his body into a more comfortable position in the bed. Ever since he'd become blind, he'd discovered that his other senses had sharpened. Marcus concentrated on the heated voices echoing through the rooms.

The ranger identified Neroon's voice at once. The other voice was unknown to him, but he remembered that Neroon had left him to attend a meeting with Shakiri. Marcus listened carefully, but had trouble understanding the warriors as they were speaking in the tongue of the Warrior Caste. Marcus reminded himself to teach himself that bloody language. The only words he was able to make out were humans and Anla'Shok. Why would they be discussing the rangers?  Or are they talking about me? The thought made him jumpy and his curiosity got the better of him.

Dismissing the promise he'd made to Neroon to stay in bed, he carefully swung his feet to the floor, pushing back the blankets and cringed when he accidentally leaned on his broken arm. I wonder if I'll still be able to wield a pike after my arm has healed. His head snapped back as he realized that he no longer owned a ranger pin or a pike. They had both been taken away from his during his capture. Those two items had been very precious to him and to be without them pained Marcus. He wondered where the door was that would lead him into the corridor.

Judging from the loudness of their voices the Minbari had to be very close. Marcus raised himself from the bed and found support as he rested his back against the wall. He had no other choice than to run his fingers over the wall and see if he could find a doorpost. Taking it step by step, he made it to the door at last. The discussion between Neroon and Shakiri sounded even more intense now and there was a threatening tone in Shakiri's voice.

Marcus' hand trembled slightly when he found the door handle. He paused for a moment, realizing that he really shouldn't be doing this. As he turned the door handle he wondered if Neroon was going to be angry with him for walking out of his room. You bet he'll be mad. It didn't stop him though and he pushed open the door. All of a sudden he heard someone coming his way and he considered retreating to the room, but the door handle had slipped from his hand and he was momentarily at a loss what to do. Marcus didn't know that Shakiri was standing in front of him.

The Minbari's face turned into a grimace as Shakiri noticed the human.

The ranger heard someone breathe and felt body heat. He realized that somebody was very close to him and he fought an upcoming panic. He wasn't going to lose it in front of a stranger.

But Neroon saw the expression in Shakiri's eyes and knew that he had to step between the ranger and the Caste leader. Neroon didn't trust Shakiri any longer and looked upon him as the enemy. At this moment his enemy was eyeing Marcus with a speculatory smile. Moving as fast as he could he tried to get into the corridor and in front of Marcus. Neroon could tell by Marcus' facial expression that the ranger had no idea who he was facing. What is he doing out of bed any way? I told him to stay put. Neroon shook his head. Marcus never does what one tells him. I should know that by now.

Taking a step back, Marcus felt the door against his back and knew he was cornered. If only he knew who was standing opposite him!

"Taleen ashaan!"

Marcus heard the Minbari words, but was unable to move, recognizing the insult. The Minbari had just called him a whore. The ranger wanted to lash out at the Minbari, but was paralysed. It shocked him that anybody would call him that. It hurt!

Neroon however, didn't feel too shocked to move and was beside Marcus in mere seconds.

Marcus could actually feel the shift in air around him as Neroon reached and steadied him. Though short of breath, the ranger was still trying to react to the insult. Then, he recognized Neroon's scent; the warrior's arm moved over his chest as if to keep him from attacking the Caste leader. Smiling a sad grin, Marcus realized that he could hardly move at this moment. He'd overestimated his strength and wished he were back in bed as his legs refused to carry his weight any longer.

"You better leave while you are still in one piece, Shakiri. You are no longer welcome in my house. Next time you insult the Anla' Shok I will invoke Denn-Sha; Marcus' honour is my honour. Now get out of my sight!" Neroon's tone was vehement.

Marcus had never expected Neroon to come to his defence, but felt strangely relieved that he didn't have to face Shakiri on his own. Even if I had a pike I couldn't hit him, not knowing where Shakiri is. But he had to put his two cents in there... "And should Neroon not beat the hell out of you, I will be happy to end what he started."  Bloody hell, why did I say that? That blow on my head must also have damaged my thinking. I must be mad to threaten Shakiri the way I am now.

On Neroon's face appeared a stunned, yet approving expression. He hadn't expected Marcus to react at all. Neroon relished seeing the spark of fire in the ranger's eyes. This was the Anla' Shok he admired so much, the spirit that captivated him.

"Are you going to allow him to speak to me like that, Neroon?" Shakiri trembled from pure anger.

Neroon noticed that Dannier's hand rested on his pike. "Yes. I could not agree more with the ranger."

Marcus was tiring quickly and knew that he wasn't going to be able to stay on his feet much longer. The last thing he wanted was to pass out in front of Shakiri. Using his last bit of strength, he grabbed Neroon's arm and strengthened his hold on the warrior next to him.

Neroon felt the movement and realized that Marcus was leaning more and more on him. He had to end this discussion with Shakiri. The ranger needed to get back to bed and Neroon knew that he had to follow up on the lead that Shakiri had given him as quickly as possible. I have to find out what drugs he was talking about.

"There is nothing more that needs to be said between us, Shakiri," Neroon stated. "Or do you want my men to escort you to your flyer?" On Neroon's mark Danzi moved closer, accompanied by several of his men.

The Caste leader cursed and turned his back on Neroon. "We are not finished yet, Neroon."

"I know and I am looking forward to settling the issue."

Those words were the last thing Marcus heard before his legs give in.

Neroon caught him and seeing that the ranger had exhausted all his strength, scooped him up in his arms. Looking one more time at Shakiri convinced Neroon that the Caste leader had left the corridor. Shifting his glare to Marcus, Neroon saw that the ranger had fallen asleep due to fatigue. Neroon walked over to the bed and gently lay him down. After he had covered Marcus in soft and warm blankets, he stared at Danzi. "How did he get into the corridor? I told you to make sure he stayed in bed."

"I know that it is no excuse, but the Anla' Shok opened the door the same moment Shakiri entered the corridor. I had no time to act."

Neroon saw the guilty expression on Danzi's face and realized that his second in command wasn't to blame for this confrontation.

" It will never happen again. I swear, Alit."

"The ranger is stubborn, Danzi. I should have known that he wouldn't listen to reason and try to walk off. In future I want more guards in the corridor. Marcus is not allowed to leave this room until he has healed more. The doctor told me to see to his rest."

Danzi bowed and left the room taking up his post in the corridor.

Seating himself beside the bed, Neroon studied the lines of suffering on Marcus' brow. Once he was sure that the ranger was soundly asleep Neroon decided to pay a visit to an old friend.

///

The warrior located the old priest in the garden where Shahaam was gathering some healing plants. Neroon saw that old age was getting to his trusted friend. The average lifespan of a Minbari was between 133 and 150 Minbari cycles and Shahaam was closing in on 130. Neroon watched the healer and realized that he had to put his trust in Shahaam. He needed the priest's help if he wanted to uncover what was going on. Shahaam had earned quite a reputation as a healer and was much revered as a wise priest.

"Neroon, I heard your footsteps...What brings you to the garden at this hour?"

A smile appeared on Neroon's worried face. Shahaam still amazed him. The priest would have made a fine tactician should he have felt a calling to join the Warrior Caste in his younger years. "I need your help and advice, old friend."

"Let's sit down, Neroon. My old bones are weary."

Neroon sat down on the bench next to Shahaam. Studying the deeply lined face, Neroon discovered that Shahaam looked even more ancient than he had at first sight. It wouldn't be much longer until the old healer would leave his house to spend his last cycles in a somnolent state as most elder Minbari used to do. He already knew that he was going to miss Shahaam who had been his teacher, priest and physician. Stopping this line of thought, Neroon gathered his courage. It wasn't a pretty story, which he had to tell Shahaam.

"What's troubling you, Neroon? I've known you from the day I delivered you. I can see the anguish in your eyes."

Shahaam's grey eyes locked with Neroon's dark ones and made him flinch involuntarily. Telling Shahaam of his crimes would be hard on him. Neroon valued Shahaam's opinion of him very highly. "It started some weeks ago. I had an argument with Shakiri about the human Anla'Shok."

"The one you brought with you? I heard that he's injured and blind?"

Neroon couldn't help admiring Shahaam. The old Minbari had his own sources for information. "Yes. I was infatuated with him and for some reason I began to pursuit him. I dishonoured him, hurt him, and caused his blindness. But the thing is...  that my memories of what happened during that time are fading fast. There are even some blank spots. That worries me." No longer avoiding Shahaam's inquiring gaze, he looked at his old mentor.

"Shahaam, there is no one out there who knows me better than you do. In your opinion: am I capable of raping the Anla' Shok? I know I did, but it is like my mind was separated from my body at that time." Neroon hoped that Shahaam could help him. He wasn't trying to deny his crimes, but it bothered him. Neroon felt like he couldn't trust himself any longer.

A sigh emanated from Shahaam's lips as he crooked his head to observe Neroon. The old priest was considering the question put to him. Neroon silently allowed him to have his own net of contacts and informants. During Neroon's absence Shahaam took over the Alit's responsibilities. The priest had heard of Neroon's dishonourable actions and had hoped that they had been nothing more than lies. Sending out messages to his informants had paid off. Shahaam knew that Neroon had just had a confrontation with Shakiri; a warrior the old priest distrusted. Neroon evidently did not trust Shakiri any more than Shahaam did and had come to him for advice. He chose his answer carefully. "I know what happened between you and the human."

Neroon lowered his eyes.

"Neroon, I have seen you in anger or ready to go into battle, but I do not think that you would ever lose control over your emotions like that. You are a true warrior. No, you wouldn't forcefully take the Anla'Shok. It would clash with everything you believe in and are willing to fight for. Do you suspect Shakiri of foul play?"

Neroon sighed relieved that maybe he could still trust himself. If Shahaam had doubted his sincerity or sanity, the priest would have told him. "Yes. Shakiri said the strangest thing as he left. He told me that the drugs must have affected my brain. What drugs?"

"You want me to run some tests on your blood, looking for abnormalities, is that it?" They were watching each other, thinking similar thoughts. "I hope that there will still be some traces of the substance in your blood, for you do not seem to be under any influence at this moment. Perhaps you should try to get an older blood sample."

Nodding his head, Neroon saw the wisdom in those words. He had to contact Babylon 5 any way to inform Commander Ivanova of Marcus' current state. He might as well check if the human doctor was still onboard. The warrior vaguely remembered several fights he and Marcus must have had and he did remember getting injured in the process. Perhaps there was a chance of getting that blood sample.

///

Susan Ivanova stared at the mug filled with caff. She was so swamped with work that she didn't have time to get some real coffee beans. The door chime tore her away from her musings. "Enter."

Doctor Stephen Franklin entered her quarters. He was in civvies and there was an uncomfortable expression on his face.

"Stephen, when will you leave?"

"Tomorrow evening. Delenn arranged for me to have one of the White Stars to take me to Minbar. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. Are you sure you don't want to tag along?" Stephen didn't really know what to think of this situation. Susan had told him that she had insisted that Marcus would stay on Minbar, but he didn't agree with her decision. Marcus had been a mess the last time the doctor had seen him. Stephen wanted to get to Minbar as quickly as possible to see with his own eyes that Marcus was doing all right.

"No. I want to wait until Marcus contacts me himself. He's going through a very rough period and he needs time to recover."

"Did Neroon leave you any messages?" The doctor was worried for Susan as well as Marcus. Susan managed a tiny smile as she answered him.

"Yes. He contacted me some minutes ago. Marcus appears to be getting stronger. Seems like our ranger threatened to beat the crap out of a very powerful Minbari warrior." Remembering their conversation, she smiled. She appreciated that Neroon kept her informed. Whenever Neroon spoke of Marcus, there was a tender tone in his voice.

"That sounds like our Marcus alright! " A bit hesitant, Stephen sought out her eyes. "Susan, Neroon contacted me as well and asked me the strangest thing. He wanted to know it there was a way for me to get my hands on a blood sample from the time that he was harassing Marcus. Do you think I should give it to him?"

"You actually got one?" Neroon had asked her the same question. She had told him that she would try to get one. The warrior had been reluctant to tell her why he needed it, but Susan assumed that the Minbari had his reasons for asking her.

"Yes. One of Marcus' turtlenecks has Neroon's blood on it."

"Give it to Neroon. I don't see any danger in handing it to him."

"Alright. Want me to do something, say anything in particular when I'm there?"

Sipping from her caff, she eyed Stephen. She wasn't sure what to answer. "Just let me know how he's doing. I'm inclined to believe Neroon when he tells me that Marcus is beginning to recover, but.... I would feel a lot more comfortable if I knew it was the truth."

"You can count on me, Susan. I won't let you or Marcus down and if there's a way to restore his eyesight, I'll find a way."

"Thanks, you're a good friend, Stephen." Watching him leave reminded her that her shift was going to start in a couple of minutes and she slipped into her uniform jacket. It would be another busy day. She knew that for sure. Lt. Corwin had been injured in an incident involving angry Narns and Centauri and would be out for some weeks. Now she had to work in a replacement officer by the name of Sacha Harris.

///

"Alit, where do you want dinner served?" Danzi tried to hide a smile as he entered the little sick room. Neroon had moved a more comfortable chair into Marcus' room and had taken some paper work with him, but Danzi saw the far away look in Neroon's eyes. He was certain that Neroon hadn't even started to read the files.

Hearing the question, Neroon moved in his chair. He had been watching Marcus sleep for some hours now and the unread reports were staring back at him. The ranger's sleep had been undisturbed and Neroon had enjoyed simply looking at Marcus' relaxed face. "My study. I don't think Marcus will be able to walk very far."

Danzi left the room to see to it that Neroon's orders were carried out.

Neroon was now faced with the task of waking Marcus. He got up from his chair and walked over to the bed. The blankets were twisted around Marcus's body as he'd pulled them closer to his body during his sleep. At that moment Neroon realized how incredibly vulnerable Marcus was. The warrior knew Shakiri's unpredictable temper and hoped that the Shai Alit wasn't going to resort to violence. Although no Minbari was allowed to kill another Minbari that wouldn't prevent Shakiri from trying to hit Neroon using his weak spot: Marcus.

"Marcus? Wake up, dinner is almost ready." And I have no idea what this human cook produced this time. The ranger stirred, but didn't wake up. "Marcus? I know you are sleepy, but you have to eat." He spoke a bit louder now and Marcus reacted.

The ranger moved in his sleep as he heard a voice call his name. Waking up, he felt disorientated. Still tired, he sat up and ignored the pain in his body. His raven locks were a mess and he ran a hand through them. Something must have woken him and he wondered what it had been.

"Are you hungry? The cook prepared a human dish for dinner," Neroon said softly.

Not expecting to hear Neroon's voice, Marcus was momentarily taken aback, but then remembered that Neroon was taking care of him. He tried to calm down his breathing a sharp pain echoed in his chest. What had been Neroon's question? "Hungry? I don't know... How long have I been asleep?"

"Eight hours." Neroon waited for Marcus to set the pace of this conversation. It was obvious that Marcus needed some time to drive the sleep away from his mind.

"That long? I had some stupid dream about Shakiri. I wonder why I would dream about him."  Marcus seemed lost as he struggled to make sense of what he thought of as a dream.

"That was no dream, Marcus. Shakiri was here and… .what did you think you were doing in the corridor in the first place? I told you to stay in bed! This way your injuries will never heal properly." Neroon's concern showed in his voice.

Absorbing this new information Marcus remembered climbing out of bed as he'd heard the heated conversation the two Minbari warriors. "I actually threatened Shakiri and I'm still alive? Probably didn't think I was worth the trouble killing...." The insult returned to Marcus: Shakiri had called him a whore; those words made him shudder. But he also remembered the dangerous edge to Neroon's voice as the warrior had stepped in there. Marcus recalled how Neroon had defended him, appearing to be on the verge of invoking Denn'Sha between him and his Caste leader. It was hard for Marcus to believe that Neroon would actually risk his life to protect a human. Yet, Neroon had sounded so sincere! A part of him wanted to believe that Neroon cared for him, another part dismissed the idea as madness. He wasn't sure which part had the upper hand. The struggle within was always the hardest.

"If he had laid his hands on you he would be dying at this moment. I would never have allowed him to hurt you. I pledged myself to protect you and that's what I will do."

Marcus raised his head. His eyes were still trying to focus on the Minbari in a futile attempt to see. Yes, he took that oath. I never heard of a Minbari warrior who pledged himself to a human. Why would he do that?

"Doctor Edwards told me to see to it that you eat. Or do you want to be hooked up again to the IV's?"

Shivering, Marcus shook his head; he was going to cooperate and eat. He hated those IV's like hell and noticed that his long nap had strengthened him a bit. He was no longer swaying on his feet. Now what? In what direction must I move? I hate being blind.

The emotions Marcus was going through were evident on his face and Neroon wanted to help him so badly. "What would you say if I told you to put your hand on my shoulder? I will walk you to the study."

Marcus knew darn well that he had no choice in this matter. The last thing he wanted was to run into walls or doors. Hesitantly, he raised his left arm and Neroon placed it on his shoulder.  "You're not wearing your uniform?" Marcus murmured. His fingers told him that the Minbari was wearing a cotton-like shirt.

"No." Neroon slowly walked to the corridor, making sure Marcus was able to keep up with him. The ranger's feet shuffled over the floor and Neroon looked at the ranger when Marcus' fingers dug into his shoulder to hold on. Halfway to the study Neroon paused and watched Marcus catch his breath. Only when he was certain Marcus had regained his breath, they covered the last part to the set table in his study.

Marcus' fingers were shaking as he sat down in the chair. Like always, he'd overestimated his strength. Trying hard to subdue the trembling, he hid his hand under the table.

Neroon noticed Marcus' action to cover up his exhaustion, but refrained from making any comment. As was tradition, he sat down opposite of his guest. The human dish on the table was unknown to him. "I hope that you will be able to identify this for me. I have no idea what it is called."

Marcus smiled, listening to the sounds the utensils made. Sniffing the fragrances in the air told him that it might be something Italian. There was a definite touch of garlic and basil swirling around the table. Restricted to the use of one hand he decided to use the fork. A spoon and knife were also lying on the table, but the fork would be the easiest to use. Running his hand over the wooden table in front of him, he discovered his plate. The fork made a metallic sound as he tried to get some of the food attached to it. "So, let's see if I can 'identify' this for you. I'm not an expert myself, you must know," he said, trying to sound chipper.

Neroon was poking the food on his plate waiting for Marcus to try it. Perhaps then he would consider eating it. The warrior didn't really like the tasteless Flarn, but at this moment Flarn seemed an acceptable alternative to whatever this was.

It is Italian, some sort of pasta...Rather tasty actually, although a bit spicy. "It's pasta, Neroon. I have to compliment your cook, but I think I might need something to drink to go along with this."

"Will some water do?" Neroon couldn't refrain from devouring the ranger with his eyes.

"Yes."

The Minbari poured some water into Marcus' glass and studied the ranger as Marcus' fingers found the glass and raised it to his lips. It seemed that Marcus was able to cope with the limitations of his blindness and Neroon felt a bit relieved. Giving the cook the benefit of the doubt Neroon tried the pasta as well and found it unlike anything he had ever eaten before; deciding he liked it. Neroon hadn't yet decided when to tell Marcus that Stephen Franklin was flying in, but he knew that he couldn't postpone it much longer. This moment would be as good as the next one. "I do not really know how to tell you this, Marcus."

"Tell me what?" The ranger had been enjoying dinner until now. Neroon's remark made him apprehensive.

"I asked Stephen Franklin to have a look at your injuries and he gladly complied. He will arrive the day after tomorrow." Concerned, Neroon saw Marcus' face turn white. The fork fell from Marcus' hand. The ranger's unseeing eyes stared at him. There were so many emotions on Marcus' face that it actually baffled the warrior momentarily: shock, hope, fear, and joy.

"Why did you ask him? I don't want to see him. I don't want his pity."

"Perhaps he can help you, Marcus. I thought you considered him to be your friend?" Neroon asked, confused by the ranger's reaction.

"I do, but...."

The three words lingered in the room for some moments before Neroon spoke again. "Is it not normal that your friends care for you, want to help you? Why would you deny them that? Would you not want to help Stephen Franklin if he needed you?"

"Of course I would, but this is different." Marcus' voice had turned into a whisper at this point and his eyes were tightly shut.

"Why is this different? Because it is you who needs the support?" Not receiving any answer, Neroon pushed his plate aside and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He had no idea why Marcus wouldn't want his friends to care for him.

"Because they're better off without me..." Lowering his head, Marcus wished he could run away and never return. He didn't want to talk about this; had never wanted to admit that truth.

"Why would that be? You are a wonderful person, Marcus. You have a lot to give and if I read you correctly, you do not ask for much in return."

"Why would they be interested in me? I'm blind, worthless, and helpless... I'm only a burden."

The sadness in Marcus' voice got to Neroon. There was such an air of loss, despair in those few words that it frightened him. Biting his lip, he chose not to tell Marcus about the chance of getting his eyesight back. What if Edwards had been wrong and the blindness was incurable? He had to remain silent a little longer. "Marcus, you are talking yourself into things. You are a splendid warrior and certainly not worthless. Don't you dare call yourself that! You have to believe in yourself and if you let me I will help you to get back to your former shape..."

Neroon's tone softened as he continued, watching Marcus closely. The ranger was staring at him with a stunned expression on his face. "That will include pike training and I am a relentless teacher. In the end you will be capable of crushing any Minbari who would dare to oppose you. But first, you need to rest. In the meantime I will get you a good pike. Do we have a deal, Marcus?"

There was disbelief written all over the ranger's face, obviously doubting Neroon's words.

"Do you really mean that? Are you serious?"

"Yes. So, do we have a deal, Marcus Cole?"

A feeling of nausea was claiming the ranger quickly as the truth hit him without warning. He does care for me, perhaps he even loves me. Realizing that Neroon was waiting for an answer, he played with the cloth of his tunic in a nervous manner. Unable to speak, he nodded.

"Is that a yes?" Neroon asked once more.

"Yes..."

///

Marcus placed the fork back on the plate after finishing dinner. He'd managed to eat most of the pasta, knowing he had to take in as many calories as possible if he wanted to get his strength back. There had hardly been any conversation up to this point. Both men were busy sorting out their thoughts and emotions.

"Alit, Anla'Shok? The cook asked me to serve desert," Danzi said in a soft tone.

Desert? How am I going to eat that as well? I'm already stuffed. But Marcus knew that by refusing to eat it he would insult the cook and his host. He heard Danzi enter and place the deserts on the table.

"Danzi, what is this?" Puzzled, Neroon sniffed at the food and wondered what it would taste like.

"The cook calls it: Death By Chocolate."

"What?" Neroon had heard of this sweet substance most humans seemed to be very fond of, but had never tasted it himself and was curious to try it.

Marcus' fingers curled around the spoon Danzi handed him and after locating the plate, he tried the delicacy. It had been years since he had last eaten anything that resembled chocolate. "It's ice cream!" A tone of surprise filled Marcus' voice as he decided to dig in. This was absolutely delicious. The ranger was unaware of the fact that Neroon was watching him in an amused way. Marcus managed to eat the desert in a few minutes.

After having tasted it himself, Neroon decided it was far too sweet and lay down the spoon. He focused on Marcus who had emptied his plate. "You missed a bit," he said teasingly, relishing seeing the smile on the human's face.

"I did? Where is it?"

"Want me to show you?" Neroon couldn't hide his smirk any longer.

"Why not? It might be years before I get another chance at eating this. Your cook is spoiling us."

You... He is spoiling you, and Neroon reminded himself to extend his thanks to that cook. Picking up his plate, he walked over to Marcus and replaced the ranger's plate with his own. Smiling, Neroon saw the eager anticipation on Marcus' face. "Can I take your hand and show you?"

Marcus nodded, wondering how he could have missed some bits of that fabulous ice cream. Sensing Neroon's hand on his sent shivers down his spine and he was not sure why. Was it fear or something else? Marcus dismissed the thought, not ready to deal with his emotions just yet. As he moved his spoon to his mouth, Neroon withdrew and walked back to his chair. "I really don't understand how I could miss the rest of this ice cream."

The smile on Neroon's face grew even broader. The ranger was easily tricked.

But Marcus was thinking. He knew that his plate had been empty. Logical reasoning brought him to the conclusion that Neroon had given him his desert. He stopped eating and caught himself trying to focus his eyes on Neroon. The ranger knew he was blind, but his body hadn't accepted that fact yet. "Is this your desert, Neroon? You don't have to do this."

"I wanted to. I do not like it and you do."

"Thank you." Marcus didn't know what else to say. Now that dinner was finished, his eyes were definitely closing slowly from fatigue. He hadn't eaten this much in weeks. Realizing that he was going to fall asleep, he addressed Neroon. "I think that I better get back to my room. Your cook is a genius, Neroon."

"Can you get back by yourself or do you want me to help you?" The warrior wanted to enable Marcus to choose. He achieved his goal. The ranger was wondering what to do.

Marcus wanted to try to get back on his own. "I think I can manage." Pushing his chair away, Marcus staggered to his feet. Bugger, did I really say that I could do this on my own? I'm not that sure anymore. Shouldn’t have eaten that second desert. Reluctant to admit that he needed help, he started to walk into the direction he suspected the corridor was.

As Neroon got up himself he carefully eyed Marcus. The ranger was unsteady on his feet, but had a determined look on his face.

Marcus managed to get into the corridor, but felt lost. Which way to go...? "Neroon? Could you put me in the right direction?"

"You have to go left," Neroon said, never losing sight of him.

Is that man really chuckling? I can hear him laughing... what did he say? Bollocks... now I have forgotten what he said... I think he said right...

A bit relieved that Marcus couldn't see him chuckle, Neroon continued to watch the ranger's attempt to get back to his room. What started off as some innocent teasing became serious all of a sudden as the ranger sped up, almost running into the wall. A sharp hiss of pain filled the corridor and Neroon was beside Marcus in mere seconds. The ranger was clutching his chest, his breathing turned haggard and shallow. "Are you all right?" Neroon asked, steadying the human.

Unable to lie, Marcus shook his head. The pain in his ribs was almost unbearable.

"Let me help you get back to bed. You will take one of those painkillers Edwards left behind." Neroon just wrapped an arm around Marcus' waist and practically carried him to the bed. After he helped Marcus lying down, Neroon walked over to the table and took the vials into his hands. He filled a glass with water and sat down on the edge of the bed. Marcus was wheezing and his frame shook fighting the pain spasms. "Here, take these," Neroon instructed

"What is it?" The pills were placed into his hand and Marcus had no strength to argue with Neroon.

"A painkiller and something to help you sleep. I think you need them."

Accepting the water, Marcus swallowed the medication a bit reluctantly.

Neroon pulled up the blankets and took the glass from Marcus' hands. The ranger was going to be asleep for at least 10 hours.

"Neroon? Will you stay with me until I'm asleep?" Marcus asked hesitantly.

"If that is what you want." Neroon replied, surprised the ranger wanted him close.

"Yes...." The comfort of the bed relaxed the ranger and the pain began to disappear. It was hard for him to think coherently and he realized that the sleeping pill was taking effect. Marcus didn't feel how Neroon stroked his hair. Sleep had already claimed him.

///

In the temple's laboratory Shahaam was trying to analyse Neroon's blood. The priest wasn't making much progress. If only he could get hold of an older blood sample! Studying the composition of the blood, he couldn't repress a sigh. There was something bothering him as he isolated certain cells, which seemed to be surrounded by an alien substance. But he was unable to identify it. Shahaam was at a loss. He had no other choice as to wait for an older sample to arrive.

"Shahaam, did you manage to find something?” After he'd left Marcus, Neroon had gone in search of the old priest.

"Come and have a look yourself."

Neroon walked over to the display and studied the results. "What am I looking at?"

"I analysed your blood. Something about it is strange, but I can not pin it down."

Neroon felt Shahaam's eyes on him. "I contacted Babylon 5. If there is a way of getting that blood sample you need, the doctor will bring it."

Satisfied, Shahaam nodded. "When will this doctor arrive?"

"Stephen Franklin should arrive the day after tomorrow."

"Splendid. Neroon. I advice you to keep an eye on Shakiri. You infuriated him and he was already angry before he arrived here."

"I know. I have been thinking about what he said. That I started this by falling in love with a human. He disapproves of my choice, but would that be reason enough for him to want to destroy me?"

"Shakiri wants to stop the influence that humans are gaining. He sent you to Babylon 5 to stop Delenn. He told you that all means were allowed to stop her and you believed him. After you returned from Babylon 5, Shakiri must have felt betrayed. You had refused to carry out his order and then you told him that you had feelings for a human ranger... Shakiri will do anything to stop the Minbari blood from mingling with human blood. I always had my doubts about Shakiri's qualifications to lead the Warrior Caste and Council. Before you were born Shakiri's father killed one of his warriors in a fit of frenzy. You know that we Minbari pride ourselves on not having killed another Minbari in a thousand years; you also know that it's a half-truth. The murderers are judged temporarily insane and banished to the little penal colony orbiting Minbar. I think Shakiri is a lot like his father." Shahaam laid a hand on Neroon's shoulder. Minbari generally didn't touch each other except if they were some ties involved.

Neroon accepted the gesture and waited for his old mentor to continue. There was certain wisdom in Shahaam's words.

"You have to be careful. Shakiri will try to use the ranger to get to you. This Marcus Cole is a pawn in a heartless game Shakiri is playing. He will not refrain from hurting the ranger. He has proven that already. He doesn't care what happens to the human."

"My thoughts exactly. That is why I ordered the guards to be doubled. I just hope that we can get our hands on an older sample to prove our theory."

"So do I, Neroon. So do I."

///

Ten hours later Marcus woke from his drug-induced sleep, feeling cosy and warm. His fingers moved down the blankets to pull them from his body. His ribs and arm didn't hurt at the moment. Perhaps the painkiller was still effective. A smile appeared on his face as he remembered the conversation they had during dinner yesterday. It seemed that Neroon was truly interested in his recovery.

Marcus gulped as he remembered that Neroon was determined to give him pike fighting lessons. He'd fought the Minbari and knew that he could learn a lot if Neroon was willing to teach him, but also knew that it would be painful. Listening closely made him realize that this was the first time that he was alone since he had been rescued from that hellhole. He had no memories of how he had escaped his tormentor. The first thing he remembered was waking up in this bed. Neroon had been holding him...

Neroon. The Minbari confused him. During these last days Neroon had been tender and caring, so much unlike the Neroon who had stalked him for weeks. Feeling along the bandages made him realize that his injuries were serious. Neroon had been right to tell him to stay in bed and rest, but Marcus hated being confined to bed.

The warrior's name reappeared time and time again in Marcus' mind. He tried to push it away. The Minbari had hurt him so profoundly, how could he even feel something like sympathy for the warrior? And yet, he liked the Neroon who was taking care of him. Marcus had to stop this inner argument before it would drive him crazy.

In an attempt to get away from that subject, he decided that it was time for him to make another trip to the bathroom. He'd been sweating during his sleep and perhaps he could find a way to shower or take a bath. If he remembered correctly the bathroom was equipped with both. His memory served him well as he slowly walked over to the bathroom. Once inside, he sighed audibly. His fingers found the shower and it took him several minutes to locate the taps. He succeeded in establishing a comfortable water temperature and began to take off his clothing. He hoped that the bandages were waterproof. He stepped into the shower and relaxed as the droplets ran over his body. He simply stood there, enjoying the water shower. His hair was plastered to his face and he lifted his face to feel the water run over his skin.

Why do I still feel tired? I must have slept something like 18 hours yesterday.... As he stepped out of the shower he realized that he had no towels to dry his skin. He began a tentative search of the bathroom and was relieved as he found some towels in a small cupboard. His fingers told him that there were some more clothes lying on the shelf. Marcus wondered if they would fit him.

Carefully drying his skin, he avoided touching the bruised ribs. The clothes fit and he felt refreshed as he made his way back to the bedroom. The moment he entered the room he knew that Neroon was there. How do I know he's here? It's like a feeling, a tingling in my brain. Must have finally lost my mind.

"Neroon?"

"Ah, there you are. I was a bit worried when you did not respond to the knock on the door." Neroon was telling the truth. He had been concerned when he hadn't found the ranger inside the room. Then he'd heard the water running in the bathroom. He'd sat down and waited for Marcus to emerge from the adjoining room. The ranger's hair was still damp and Neroon wished he could run his fingers through the wet strands. "How did you sleep?"

"I only woke up minutes ago and decided I needed to get cleaned up. I suppose now comes the bit where you tell me to get back in bed and rest?"

The weak smile on Marcus' face made Neroon chuckle once more. He definitely liked Marcus' sense of humour. "As a matter of fact I am here to see to it that you have some lunch. It is early in the afternoon and you should eat and drink something."

"Are you trying to fatten me up? The only things I have been doing since I came here are eating and sleep. Not that I'm really complaining though," Marcus quipped with some of his old wit.

"You should gain some extra weight, Marcus." Rising to his feet, Neroon approached the ranger. An approving smile appeared on Neroon's face as the human extended his hand. Neroon placed that hand on his shoulder and led Marcus to the balcony of his study where they were going to have lunch.

Marcus was thankful that he could get off his feet and lowered himself into the chair. It was a strange sensation to feel the sun on his face without seeing the beams. "It must be a beautiful day. " He didn't wait for Neroon to help him to eat his breakfast. Marcus felt a little more confident since yesterday evening and he located the tea mug within seconds. As he explored the food items on the table he discovered that it was mostly fruit. Well, at least I don't have to use the utensils. Marcus ate several pieces of fruit and enjoyed the warm sun caressing his skin. He hadn't felt this comfortable for weeks.

"I need to attend to some matters this afternoon. Danzi will stay with you," Neroon told him.

Marcus was briefly astonished. Why was Neroon so intent on having him watched over? It wasn't like he was going to make a run for it in his present state. Or was something else bothering Neroon? Was the Minbari afraid that he was going to hurt himself? "Why? I can get around myself."

"And crash into walls..." Neroon argued.

"Well, that wall wasn't supposed to be there!" The ranger began to feel cornered.

"You know that I have a valid point not to leave you alone." The warrior exchanged a look with Danzi, standing in the study. "I have to go now. Doctor Franklin will arrive tomorrow and has asked me to set up some kind of laboratory. I will be busy all afternoon. Why dot you not try to get some more rest? Your eyes are closing as we speak."

"I know... but I would like to sit here a little longer? Can I?" Marcus asked pleadingly.

"Of course. Are you sure it is not too uncomfortable for you? It might be better to lay down."

"No, I will be alright." Marcus heard Neroon take a deep breath.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you are stubborn?"

"Oh yes..." The friendly bantering wasn't something Marcus expected. Neroon was turning out to be pleasant company, something that baffled Marcus, not sure what to make of the warrior.

"I will see you at dinner." Neroon didn't really want to leave, but he had no choice. Stephen Franklin needed a working area and Shahaam had volunteered to help him set up an improvised laboratory.

///

Danzi kept his eye on Marcus, who had fallen asleep in the chair. It wasn't really unusual for the second in command to do some paperwork in Neroon's study. During his Alit's absence he often worked here. Laying down the report he studied the sleeping human. Danzi had been fighting in the Earth-Minbari war when he had heard that Minbari souls were being reborn into human bodies. As he looked at the human ranger, he was sure that Marcus Cole possessed such a Minbari soul. Perhaps that was why Neroon had chosen the human as his mate.

Marcus was unaware of the Minbari's thoughts, deeply asleep.

Danzi looked up from writing his report when he heard some movement on the balcony. It didn't take him long to realize that Marcus Cole was awake. Remembering Neroon's instructions he rose to his feet and checked if the Anla'Shok was still resting.

Wonder how long I've slept this time. It's almost embarrassing. No matter where I am, I seem to doze off within minutes. But I do like it out here. It's been so long since I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. Marcus shifted slightly in his chair to get into a more comfortable position. Someone had placed a blanket over him and in spite of the warm sunlight he felt cold. He was relieved that the nightmares had left him alone this time.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Anla'Shok?"

The sudden presence of a Minbari startled him for a second until he recognized the voice. "You're Danzi, aren't you? Neroon's second in command, if I remember correctly."

"That's correct, Anla'Shok."

"Please call me Marcus." The truth was that Marcus didn't feel he deserved to be called that title any longer. He'd lost his ranger pin and pike and physically he wasn't up for any ranger duties. He wondered if Delenn knew where he was and if she approved of his whereabouts. As he thought of her, he couldn't help thinking of Susan as well. He hadn't even contacted her yet. Sorry, Susan. I can't face you right now. I need to sort out what happened to me first and then I need to know where to go from here. He blocked her from his memory.

If only he knew what his feelings were for Susan or for Neroon for that matter. There was still that strange attraction between him and the warrior, even after everything that had happened between them. Marcus knew that he would have to face his feelings in the near future. But first I need to get stronger. I have to find myself again in this mess of emotions inside me. Suddenly he remembered that he wasn't alone. "Sorry Danzi, I wasn't ignoring you."

"I know, but I wonder if there is anything I can do for you." Danzi smiled as he repeated the question. He hadn't met many humans yet and this was his chance to learn more about them.

Something bothered Marcus and maybe Danzi could provide him with some answers. "Would you sit with me for a moment? There are some things I would like to know."

Danzi complied and sat down. He wondered what kind of questions the human had.

"Neroon told me that he wants me to be his.... Kirmana? Is that what it's called?"

Danzi nodded. Neroon had also told him about his plans and the young Minbari chose his answer carefully as he spoke. "That is the correct term. What do you wish to know?"

"What does this exactly mean? I know some things about the Minbari being a ranger, but the customs within the Warrior Caste were never part of my training."

The young warrior berated himself. He had thought Marcus would know what the term implied. "Didn't Neroon tell you?"

"He did, but I wasn't really conscious at the time... a bit groggy." He'd been confused when Neroon had spoken the first words of that ritual. He hoped that Danzi would tell him.

"Well, it's an ancient tradition within the Warrior Caste for the Clan leader to choose a Kirmana... a significant other; a mate. This is usually a warrior from the same Clan and might be a male or a female though it is recommended to choose a male warrior. The Kirmana is... how can I put this... a sort of second in command. Should something happen to the Clan leader, the command is handed over to the Kirmana. It is a relationship that demands a lot of trust. The Clan leader is only allowed to choose a Kirmana once in his lifetime and is bound by honour to protect and defend his partner. The Kirmana's part in all this is one of a trusted counselor. Once the Clan leader has pledged himself to this warrior he is not allowed to have any intimate relationships except with his Kirmana."

"Let me get this straight," Marcus was completely awake all of a sudden, stunned by the things he had just heard. "So, Neroon can only chose this Kirmana once and then he's bound to him until he dies?"

"Yes, that's the custom."

"What if this Kirmana is no Minbari? Or doesn't want to be...  his significant other?"

Danzi's smile remained on his face. This was turning out to be an interesting conversation. He definitely liked this human ranger. "That would be a first. But I do think you would make a very good second in command. About your second question.... Did Neroon ask you to pledge yourself to him?"

Bugger, he knows why I'm asking these questions. I wonder if Neroon told him or are there already rumours going around? "No, he didn't... How did you know I was talking about Neroon and I?"

"I served him all my life and he honours me with his trust. But if Neroon did not ask you to make the same commitment, you are not bound to him."

"So, if I want to leave right now, can I do that?"

"Of course, you are no prisoner."

Marcus leaned back into the chair and felt even more confused now. "What if I wanted to be with someone else?"

"As long as you did not commit yourself to Neroon... you wouldn't have any obligations towards him. Although it would be the first time a Kirmana would leave the Clan... I hope you don't mind me pointing this out to you, but the moment Neroon chose you as his Kirmana you became part of the Star Riders Clan. You're under the Clan's protection."

"Great, that's just bloody great!" Marcus was being beyond confused. He was flabbergasted. Why would Neroon do this? Perhaps because he really loves me?

///

Danzi watched Neroon return to his study. The Alit's eyes immediately searched the balcony. "He is resting in his room. He had some questions," Danzi informed him.

"Questions? What kind of questions?"

Starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, Danzi got up from behind the desk. "He wanted to know what 'Kirmana' meant. I explained the tradition to him.... May I speak openly with you, Alit?"

"Of course."

"Did you want him to stay ignorant of his new position? He looked confused when I told him." It was obvious Danzi feared that he'd crossed some line between him and his Alit by telling Marcus what the ranger wanted to know.

"I sort of told him, but he wasn't really lucid at that time. He was confused, you say? About what?" Neroon was also confused now.

Danzi lowered his eyes. It wasn't really his place to be discussing these kind of intimate matters with Neroon. Danzi didn't want to pry or mingle in his affairs. "About a couple of things actually. But he was mostly astonished to hear that he became a member of our Clan and your second in command when you pronounced him to be your Kirmana. He seemed... shocked."

"Perhaps I should talk to him. Did he already have dinner?" Neroon asked.

"Yes, he ate something called pancakes. I did not know when to expect you back and it was getting late. "

"Good. You can finish your work here... I will be in his room," Neroon said and left the study.

///

The knock on the door woke him. Marcus had been determined not to fall asleep again fearing the nightmares, but his body was reluctant to give into his will. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to forget the nightmare that had been tormenting his sleep. He'd dreamt that he was back in that cell and tied to the bed, unable to move.

"Yes, enter." The door opened and Marcus sat up in the bed.

"Marcus, how are you? I am sorry that I could not come back earlier, but there were some problems I had to resolve," Neroon said, studying the human he was in love with.

"I wished I could stay awake for a longer period of time, but I'm so tired."

"Are you in any pain?"

"Discomfort is more like it. Neroon?" Marcus crooked his head, trying to establish how close Neroon was to him. There were some questions swirling around in his mind, but he was too nervous to ask them. The possible answers scared him.

"Yes?"

Turning his head in the direction the sound had emanated from, Marcus realized that Neroon was still standing near the door. Bugger, if only he knew how to start this conversation. "How late is it, Neroon? I have no idea, don't really know how to tell time."

"The sun just set and counting in human hours it should be 22.00 hours," Neroon smiled weakly, wishing he could wrap his arms around the ranger.

"That means I've been asleep most of the day! I never knew I could sleep that much..." Marcus muttered.

"You are recovering, Marcus. It is only normal that you need rest." Neroon cursed himself for being the coward he was. He could see Marcus struggle to find the words to ask him what was bothering him. "We need to talk, Marcus."

Walking over to the window he pulled up the chair and sat down next to the bed. As he studied Marcus' body language he realized that the ranger was uncomfortable. Marcus' fingers were tugging at the sling and his breathing quickened. "Danzi told me that you had some questions."

"Yes.... Why did you make me your Kirmana? I'm not Minbari.... Wouldn’t it be the first time that a human was accepted into the Warrior Caste or any Caste for that matter?" Marcus failed in keeping the tremor out of his voice.

"There is a first for everything, Marcus. But I thought I explained this to you. "

"I don't remember too much of what happened back then. Tell me."

The warrior mentally kicked himself for bringing up that subject. He should have stayed away from it. Marcus was moving restlessly in the bed. Neroon tried to choose his words more carefully, but he knew that the truth needed to be spoken. He couldn't lie to Marcus, but perhaps he could help the human deal with it. Marcus was now tugging at the bandage around his arm and Neroon couldn't allow that. The ranger's hand felt cold as he carefully pulled Marcus' fingers away from the bandage. He intended to let go of the cold but soft fingers, but was surprised when Marcus curled his fingers around his hand. All the emotions raging inside Marcus were written plainly across his face. Neroon remembered the question the ranger had asked him.

"You were drugged and badly injured when you got here. Doctor Edwards worked on you for a long time before all your wounds were taken care of."  It was evident that Marcus had a tough time dealing with all that had happened to him. The ranger's frame shook slightly and Neroon could swear that the ranger was fighting his tears. Marcus' eyes closed and Neroon wanted to reach out so badly. How did they manage to get off track that quickly? In an unconscious attempt to calm Marcus down, Neroon ran his fingers over Marcus' knuckles. The ranger didn't pull away from him.

Marcus knew they'd been drugging him. But through the vivid dreams, the nightmares, he knew what had happened during his imprisonment and his helplessness embarrassed him. He had to retreat to a safer ground and cleared his throat before he dared to speak again. "But.... Why name me your Kirmana? You still didn't answer my question."

"I will be honest, Marcus. There are a number of reasons. The most important one is that I love you and I need to know you're safe." He hoped Marcus wouldn't inquire what his other reasons were. Marcus wasn't ready to handle the truth yet; that Shakiri was using him.

I love you and I need to know you're safe. Neroon's answer echoed in his mind and he wished he could look at Neroon to see if the Minbari was sincere.

"It is too soon for you to worry about this. You need to rest. I will leave you now so you can go back to sleep." He was about to get to his feet when Marcus strengthened his hold on his hand. "Marcus?" The ranger looked like he was afraid to let go of him. Why?

"Can't you stay a little longer? Until I'm asleep perhaps?" Marcus asked in a wavering tone.

"What are you afraid of?" Neroon was stunned to see the sudden expression of fright in Marcus' eyes. What was he missing here?

"The... nightmares... are so vivid. I'm afraid to be alone. I try to stay awake, but I know I'm too exhausted. The nightmares haunt me and take me back to the past.... It hurts to relive everything "

The whispers floated through the room and Neroon sat down again. He hadn't known Marcus' nightmares were that bad. "Of course I will stay if you want me to. You are safe here. No one will hurt you. I will not let them," he said soothingly.

"I know…" the ranger whispered in a strangled tone. Why do I want to trust him so badly? I can never forget the pain he gave me, but...Oh, Valen, I do want to believe he's sincere. I have nothing left to lose... I lost everything already. I need someone to help me through this... And I'm still not sure about my feelings for Neroon. There was a spark once, but I feel scorched...

"Lay down and let go, Marcus. I will stay with you as long as you want me to," Neroon promised.

Very hesitantly, Marcus squeezed Neroon's hand to show that he believed the warrior.

Neroon noticed the tiny gesture and it warmed his heart. Perhaps there was a chance that Marcus could forgive him someday.

Feeling watched over and safe, Marcus allowed himself to doze off, still amazed that he could sleep this much.

The warrior beside him acquired a more comfortable position in the chair and continued to caress Marcus' fingers. It took Neroon several hours before he managed to fall asleep as well.

///

Neroon's sleep was troubled and he struggled with a nightmare himself. He was back on Babylon 5 and walking Down Below. As he turned around a corner, he froze. A smashed ranger pin was lying on the ground. Several pieces of the jewel were scattered over the floor and an extended and bloodied pike was leaning against the wall. Neroon recognized the pike as he took it into his hands. It was the one he'd used during the Denn-Sha the ranger had invoked. Something told him that he had to find the human for he was in trouble. Running through the corridors, he cursed. This resembled a labyrinth. He stopped running and tried to get his breath back. How to find Marcus? Where was he? As he calmed down, he felt something pull him in a certain direction. He gave in immediately and started to run once more.

It was growing dark all around him. He blinked his eyes and knew what had happened; he was blind. Realizing that he needed his other senses to lead him through the darkness, he closed his eyes and still managed to follow that strange feeling tugging at his mind. A pain-filled scream echoed through the corridor. Neroon recognized Marcus' voice and woke from his nightmare. He looked at Marcus, who was trashing on the bed and Neroon knew that it had been Marcus' scream, which had woken him.

"Marcus? Wake up!" Neroon sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around the ranger, who began to calm down while opening his eyes. For the first time in his life Neroon understood how a nightmare could torment someone. He had never experienced a nightmare like one this before. He and nightmares had been strangers his entire life.

This time, Marcus wasn't scared, feeling the strong arms wrapped around him; holding him close. It was Neroon and strangely enough that soothed him. Not able to think about the reasons why he would want to put his trust in the warrior, he closed his eyes again. Resting his head on Neroon's shoulder, he trembled as the warrior interlaced his fingers with his. It baffled him how comfortable he felt in Neroon's arms....

"Are you awake? Marcus, answer me."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"Do not worry about that, Marcus." Easing the ranger back on the bed made Neroon aware how much he wanted to hold him for a little longer. But he wasn't going to impose himself on Marcus.

"You will stay here, Neroon?" Marcus had to be certain.

"Yes." Still seated on the bed he remembered those first nights in which he'd held Marcus during his sleep. Still running his fingers over Marcus' hand, he watched the ranger doze off again, deeply touched that Marcus had accepted his embrace, but not allowing himself to feel any hope.

///

Stephen Franklin checked his equipment for the last time. They were two more hours away from Minbar and the doctor wondered in what state of mind he was going to find Marcus. He still didn't understand why Susan would insist that the ranger had to stay with Neroon. The warrior had raped and beaten Marcus. Stephen didn't look forward to facing Neroon. He'd developed a distinct dislike for the Minbari after what he'd done to his friend. At least, he was now getting the opportunity to check on Marcus himself and he was going to make sure Marcus was going to get the best treatment and care out there.

///

As he woke up, Neroon discovered that he wasn't sitting in the chair any longer. Marcus' head rested on his chest. The Minbari gulped when he realized that he was actually lying down in bed at this death-tempting angle. Well, at least he was still alive. He turned his attention to the ranger next to him and noticed that Marcus' breathing was regular and steady. Neroon wondered how he'd gotten into the bed; it must have happened during the night.

As he looked at the sun, which had started to rise, he realized that it was already late in the morning and Stephen Franklin was supposed to arrive today. There was work to be done. The laboratory the doctor had asked for wasn't ready yet and Neroon knew that Shahaam was trying his best to complete the work on his own. Neroon had to help the old priest, but first he had to get out of bed.

Moving slightly, he felt that Marcus still had an amazingly strong grip on his hand. Well, it was time for Marcus to wake up as well; it wouldn't be long before breakfast would be served. Neroon smiled as he tried to loosen the hold Marcus had on his hand, but Marcus wouldn't let go of him. Leaning in over the human, Neroon couldn't help caressing that soft hair.

"Marcus? It's time to wake up," and to let go of my hand. The ranger seemed unwilling to wake up and Neroon had to repeat his remark for a second time. This time it had the desired effect.

Seemingly disorientated, Marcus struggled to sit up in bed. His dreams had been undisturbed and peaceful as opposed to the first bit, but still he didn't feel rested. Then he noticed that his fingers were curled around Neroon's hand. He immediately loosened the hold; utterly embarrassed. Hiding his hand in his sling, he tried to gauge Neroon's mood this morning.

"I need to help Shahaam setting up a laboratory for your friend," Neroon told him.

"Shahaam?" Marcus was desperate not to show his embarrassment as he remembered how he had clung to Neroon after his nightmares. Any sort of diversion would do...

"Yes, my mentor. Do you want me to take Franklin here after he arrived or do you need more time?" Neroon wanted to know.

Marcus felt strangely touched as he heard the concerned tone in Neroon's voice. The ranger still wondered how it had been possible that Neroon had acted in such a dishonourable manner back on the station. If only the warrior had been as gentle as he was now, things would have developed differently back then. "I think I can handle it, though I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything these days."

Looking at Marcus gravely, Neroon hoped that Franklin could help the ranger. " Rest, Marcus. I will be back with your friend later," the warrior promised.

///

Stephen Franklin couldn't help but admire the crystalline structures in Neroon's compound. Delenn had told him a bit about Minbari architecture, but the doctor still felt slightly awed. Several Minbari were busy carrying the medical equipment into the building and Stephen felt lost. They all treated him with respect, but no one had addressed him yet. Probably because they don't speak Standard.

"Doctor Franklin, sorry I am late. I trust you had a good journey?"

Swirling around, Stephen recognized the Minbari in front of him even though he wasn't wearing his usual warrior uniform. Neroon was dressed in a black tunic, pike attached to his belt. Stephen's first impulse had been to break Neroon's nose for what he'd done to Marcus. He halted when he realized that the dangerous expression in Neroon's eyes was no longer there. The entire time that Neroon had been stalking Marcus there had been an uncanny look on the Minbari's face. Stephen forced himself to remain calm, eyeing Neroon. "I want to see Marcus."

"Of course. I will take you there."

A bit reluctant, Stephen fell into step beside Neroon. An older Minbari appeared at Neroon's side, dressed in white robes.

"This is Shahaam, my physician. I asked him to assist you in setting up the laboratory," Neroon explained.

The old priest smiled and extended his hand. Stephen knew that Minbari refrained from touching strangers as much as possible. Not wanting to insult the old Minbari, he accepted the hand.

"I will wait for you in my laboratory. Neroon will take you there after you've visited the Anla'Shok," Shahaam said softly.

"The what?" Stephen questioned.

Realizing that the human didn't understand a word of Minbari, Neroon translated it. "Anla'Shok means ranger."

"I see," Stephen whispered.

Shahaam turned and walked into the building.

This wasn't exactly the arrival Stephen had imagined. He'd expected Neroon to be arrogant. The warrior led him through the corridors and the silence started to make Stephen nervous. "How's Marcus?"

"Not well. Doctor Edwards tended to his broken arm and bruised ribs, but it is his emotional state that worries me. He has a lot of nightmares that scare him. "

"It isn't surprising that he has nightmares. He went through some very traumatic events lately..."

"I know, doctor. I'm very much aware of the fact how much I hurt Marcus." Remembering the nightmarish events on Babylon 5, reminded him of the blood sample he'd asked the doctor to bring along. His eyes were drawn to the med kit Stephen Franklin was carrying. "Did you manage to bring a blood sample, doctor?" Neroon tried to keep the anguish from showing in his voice.

"Yes, but before I hand them over I want to know why you need them."

I deserve his anger, no matter if I was drugged or not. I should have been able to control myself.  Neroon lowered his eyes and felt miserable. "Shahaam needs the samples for a test."

Surprised, Stephen stopped walking and stared at the Minbari. Instead of the rage and arrogance Stephen had expected, Neroon remained calm and in control. The doctor wondered if this was the same Minbari who'd been threatening him on Babylon 5 when he'd tried to protect Marcus from him.  Test? What kind of test? Why do I get the feeling that there's something going on that I'm not supposed to know? Well, I will find out what it is.  "What about this blindness? I never knew he was blind in the first place." This fact truly baffled Stephen. How had Marcus been able to fool him like that?

"It happened the last time he was admitted to Medlab. When we left.... I discovered that he'd been hiding that fact."

"You should have taken him back to Medlab."

The reproach was evident on the doctor's face and Neroon felt even more ashamed. "I know. I blame myself for not doing so. I hope you can help him. Doctor Edwards mentioned something about removing a blood cloth to enable Marcus to see again."

"I'll have to scan him first, then check the readings and if necessary I'll have to perform some surgery. But let's not jump to conclusions before I've had a chance to check on him."

Neroon led Franklin into the corridor where Marcus' room was and halted momentarily.

Stephen paused as well and wondered why the Minbari had stopped.

"I haven't told Marcus yet that there might be a way for him to regain his eyesight. I wanted to wait for you to examine him first," Neroon explained.

"I understand. I won't mention it to him until I'm sure I can help him," Stephen said.

Taking a few more steps, they arrived at Marcus' door. Neroon knocked. "Marcus? Stephen Franklin is here to see you." Nothing but silence answered them and Neroon didn't like it.

"Marcus? Are you in there?" Looking at the guard in the corridor, he saw the soldier nod. The ranger had to be in there. Neroon didn't see the expression in Stephen's eyes as the doctor noticed the guard.

Was Marcus being held here against his wish? Was the soldier there to prevent the ranger from leaving? Franklin was determined to get those answers, but later. First, he wanted to see Marcus Cole.

"Yes.... You can come inside." A tiny voice told them.

A sigh escaped Neroon's lips as he heard the trembling voice. He should have realized that Marcus would be apprehensive about meeting Stephen Franklin. Opening the door, he stepped aside to allow Stephen to enter the little room.

Marcus was scared as hell to face his friend. He had to make a pitiful impression on Stephen. His eyes were closed and his fractured arm still rested in the sling. The bruised ribs hurt and Marcus realized that his breathing was rapidly increasing hearing the door open. A sudden urge to hide overwhelmed him.

"Marcus?" The doctor's eyes searched the room and he couldn't help holding his breath as he saw Marcus. The ranger was lying in bed, covered with blankets. The bandages around his arm were visible. Stephen noticed the tremors running through Marcus' body. Oh, my God, he looks bad.  At last, Stephen lifted his eyes to see the empty stare returned to him. He really is blind! How could I miss that? It frightened Stephen that Marcus had lost tremendous weight and a feverish expression haunted those green eyes.

"Stephen? You didn't have to come. I'm fine." Trying hard to hang on to his composure Marcus attempted to smile. Too late did he realize that he wouldn't be able to fool the doctor.

"You don't look fine to me, Marcus." A look of understanding passed between Neroon and Stephen as the doctor realized that they had to work together to help the ranger. "I want to scan you, Marcus and run some tests to see if I can help you. Is that alright with you?"

"Do I have any choice?"

"No." It was Neroon who answered that rhetorical question, showing that they wouldn't accept no as answer.

"Let's get it over with. Have to warn you though, Stephen. I can't promise I will stay awake during your tests," Marcus whispered ashamed.

"You don't have to be awake, Marcus. Just give in if you feel you're getting tired." The doctor approached the bed and opened his med kit and froze when he saw the shirts, covered with the blood Neroon had asked for. Peeking at Marcus reassured Stephen that the ranger was waiting for him to start the examination. The clothing was wrapped up in plastic and he handed the package to Neroon, who stared at the clothing.

The warrior nodded thankfully to the doctor, then left the room. Leaning against the wall, Neroon couldn't take his eyes off the package. Was all of it his blood? Marcus had been injured during their fights as well. He hurried through the corridors and slammed the door shut as he entered Shahaam's laboratory. The priest was standing in a corner of the room and looked up from his work the moment he heard the loud bang.

"Here, I got the blood sample." Handing the package to Shahaam, the warrior sat down. Neroon's eyes were drawn to the package, which Shahaam was now opening and examining.

"This will do. I will start immediately."

Neroon watched Shahaam take a sample and then seal the solid sample in a wax cassette. The sample was sliced and Neroon knew that Shahaam would have to examine it by microscope. Neroon had recognized the garment. It was one of Marcus' turtleneck shirts.

"How long will it take to analyse it?"

"A couple of hours if I want to do this right. "

"Contact me the moment you know something."

"Of course."

Neroon had to get away from the confined space. Where to go? The dojo came to mind and he started walking. Some basic training would help him relax and he might even try some meditation to calm his restless mind. His first impulse had been to return to Marcus' room, but he realized that the doctor would still be running some tests and he didn't want to disrupt the examination.

///

Feeling uncomfortable, Marcus allowed Stephen to remove his shirt. The doctor wanted to check on his bruised ribs. The ranger closed his eyes once more as probing hands removed the bandage. He tried to remain seated upright, but now that he missed the support the bandage had offered, it was hard for him to ignore the stabbing pain. Trying hard not to listen to the words Stephen was muttering to himself, he burrowed his left hand in the mattress, clawing a way through the soft fabric.

"Looks like Edwards was right. You have 3 bruised ribs. Thankfully they aren't broken. I have to renew the bandages. You should have them changed every time you shower. The water is affecting the material." He stopped as Marcus' body tensed. Looking at his face told him that the ranger was in definite pain. "Just hold on a little longer. I'm almost done." As quickly as he could Stephen finished bandaging Marcus' ribcage and helped his friend to lie down. He still had to check on the broken arm, but he didn't want Marcus to be in pain.

"Marcus? I still have to look at the arm, but I'm going to apply this hypo spray first. It'll take away the pain."

The ranger hardly heard the words. He was waiting for Stephen to end this torture.

As gently as he could, Stephen injected the painkiller into Marcus' blood stream. He kept an eye on the ranger all the time. The injection would be effective immediately. "Do you still feel the pain?"

"No, it's gone."

"That's good." Stephen removed the bandage and proceeded to scan the fractured bone. Compound fracture, but it has started to heal nicely. I won't have to operate on it. Stephen didn't know what to say to his friend as he worked on the arm. The last thing he needed to do was to put the sling back in place. There were so many things Franklin wanted to ask Marcus, but he was aware of his friend's unstable state of mind. "Is Neroon treating you right? I can take you back to Babylon 5 if you want me to."

"No! I don't want to go back to the station. I can't face them... please."

There was a desperate edge to Marcus' voice, which scared Stephen. Marcus obviously was in a lot of emotional pain. "It's alright, Marcus. You can have all the time you need."

"Thanks, Stephen. It was hard enough facing you... When Neroon told me that he'd asked you to come to Minbar.... It made me feel scared. I don't like being frightened."

"Nobody does, Marcus. Now tell me, is there anything else I can do for you? Otherwise I'm going to study these readings."

"Study them? Why? What's there to study?"

Stephen wanted to tell Marcus about the blood cloth, but knew he had to be sure first. "I want to understand why you're blind."

The words silenced Marcus who'd opened his mouth to say something. He knew why he was blind, because Neroon had beaten him on the head with his pike. But Stephen didn't know that and Marcus decided that the doctor didn't need to know. That was something between Neroon and him.

"I'll come back later, Marcus. Neroon was right; you should try to rest as much as possible."

"I'll try.... I promise." Closing his eyes, Marcus heard Stephen leave the room. The ranger was tired, but the only thing he could think about was the agony he'd been in after Neroon had used his pike to knock him out cold. Later, as he'd returned to his quarters, he'd had the worst headache. Then he'd passed out and when he woke in Medlab he'd been blind.

Marcus considered his future as a ranger and knew there was none. Neroon might have promised to help him get back into shape, but there was no place among the rangers for a blind cripple. His only alternative was that Neroon was going to allow him to stay here. The ranger's useless eyes were watered, feeling worthless and lost.

///

"What are you doing?" Stephen was looking over Shahaam's shoulder. Minbari technology intrigued him and he was determined to learn as much as possible. It was a pity he didn't know the language; it was proving to be quite a barrier. It appeared that Shahaam was trying to get a decent blood sample off of Marcus' shirt. This might be a good opportunity to find out why Shahaam needed a sample in the first place.

"I'm analysing Neroon's blood."

Taking a step closer, Franklin tried to make sense of the strange readings on the screen. He needed some translation program. "What are you searching for? And why would you need an old sample? Or doesn't Neroon want to give blood?" A bemused smile appeared on the old priest's face and Stephen could have sworn that the Minbari was chuckling.

"No, Neroon did that already, but my findings were inconsistent. I needed this to continue the analyses."

"So, what does it show?" I'm not giving up that easily. If Marcus can learn this abominable language and hack some computers I can do the same thing if I have to. He managed to get a better look at the screen and felt Shahaam eye him intensely.

"Well, maybe you could assist me."

Assist you? I thought you were meant to assist me? Damn Minbari, always manage to turn things around. I'll indulge the old fellow for a moment and then get back to Marcus' readings. Stephen watched the screen and was stunned when the writing changed into Standard after Shahaam had hit a button. From that moment on the readings started to make some sense. Stephen couldn't help studying them.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but are these results not very strange? I never saw these kind of abnormalities in Minbari blood before," Franklin concluded.

"They're strange; that's why we needed the sample. Someone tampered with Neroon's mind and I think this might give us the answer."

"What's strange about them?"

Both Shahaam and Stephen turned when they heard Neroon's voice from behind them. The warrior seemed tired as he took his place next to them, looking at the readings himself.

"There are two alien substances in your blood that should not be thee, Neroon. But I do not know them. I have never seen anything like this before; they are unfamiliar to me. Looks like we are still unable to solve this," Shahaam explained.

"Can I take a look?" Stephen studied the cell structures; they seemed strangely familiar to him. He searched his memory and Shahaam helped him to run some more tests. Neroon was still standing next to them, waiting anxiously. Then it hit Stephen. He did know these substances. He just hadn't seen them in quite some time. The only place where he came across them was Down Below. "I think I can identify them for you, Shahaam. These substances are unknown to you because they're human made."

"Human made? Are you sure?" Neroon interrupted the doctor. Somehow, he was relieved that the mystery would be solved, but he did dread the answer.

"It's a recreational drug, called LSD. It's colourless, odourless and easily synthesised. Some of its effects include paranoia, hallucinations and loss of time." Stephen took in Neroon's stunned expression and he knew that the warrior hadn't taken this drug by his free will.

"You're lucky there was no permanent damage. Some humans have turned crazy after being exposed to this... But there is a second element in your blood...Looks like Rohypnol. Combined, these drugs certainly explain your aggressive and obsessive behavior, Neroon. They don't really leave any traces in the blood. That's why you were unable to detect it in the first blood sample, Shahaam." Stephen saw Neroon turn deathly pale. A horrified look had appeared in the warrior's eyes as he realized what had really happened.

Neroon began pacing the room in an uncontrolled way, almost knocking Stephen off his feet.

Shahaam's next question puzzled Franklin.

"Why would Shakiri go through all this trouble to make you behave like a madman? He must have known that by using human drugs he wouldn't be suspected of slipping them to you."

Stephen realized that Neroon must have been drugged for a longer period of time and wondered why. Shakiri, I heard that name before. I think Delenn mentioned it once, but I have no idea who this particular Minbari is. Better get my information straight this time. "Who's Shakiri?"

///

Danzi didn't like this one bit. He'd received a classified message for Alit Neroon. Wondering what to do, he decided to contact Neroon immediately. He was surprised to locate his Alit in the temple's laboratory. Never before had he seen Neroon more emotional than the moment when the Alit answered his call. Neroon's eyes were big and there was a startling rage in them.

"What is it, Danzi? I am rather occupied at the moment."

"Sorry to disturb you, Alit, but I just received a message from the Warrior Council. It is marked classified and Shakiri signed the message personally. I thought you wanted to know."

"I'm on my way."

Terminating the connection, Danzi leaned back against the wall. There was nothing else for him to do besides wait. Neroon appeared to be in a foul mood and though that didn't happen too often, Danzi knew that it would be better to get out of the study as quickly as possible. The young Minbari valued his life. The door was thrown open and Neroon marched inside. Danzi quickly got out of his way and moved to leave the room.

"No, stay. I might need you."

Danzi lowered his eyes and waited. He was curious about the content of the message.

Shakiri's face appeared on screen and Neroon hissed.

"Neroon. The Council heard about your intention to name a human your Kirmana and we can't allow that. You will be removed from this Council if you fail to defend your decision. You'll get your chance to be heard tomorrow evening at sunset. Should you not appear, your seat in this Council will be declared forfeit."

How does he dare take this matter before the Council without me being there! How could I have ever trust Shakiri? Have I been that blind in the past? Neroon was thinking strategy as he decided that he couldn't leave his house to stand before the Council. Knowing Shakiri, the Shai Alit was only waiting for a chance to get to Marcus.

"Do you want me to go and speak in your name?"

Neroon wasn't really surprised to hear Shahaam's voice coming from the doorway.

"I think that would be a wise decision. You are a lot more diplomatically schooled than I am and I do not want to leave Marcus."

Shahaam looked at Danzi and asked him to leave the study. He needed to talk to Neroon alone. The findings must have shocked the Alit and Shahaam could tell that Neroon was agitated and confused. The priest sat down and studied the haunted look in Neroon's eyes.

"You acted that way because of the drugs, Neroon. You really didn't have a chance in fighting them. The fact that you had fallen in love with Marcus made him your target. The drugs caused your abnormal behavior. I know that it is hard to accept that Shakiri would actually do this, but I think I know why."

"I don't care what he did to me, " Neroon snarled. "Now that I know that I was not in control my questions are answered. But he hurt Marcus so profoundly that I wonder if the ranger will ever recover completely. He is strong, yes, but... I can't imagine what kind of monster I must have seemed to him!" Neroon was lost in thought and had not been really been paying attention to Shahaam. The only thing that mattered to him was how to heal the hurt inside Marcus' soul. And how to get back at Shakiri for this!

"Why, Shahaam. Why did he do this?" Neroon asked in a desperate tone.

"Shakiri wants to eliminate all influence humans have on Minbar. He could not kill Delenn, so he turned his attention to you because you betrayed him, and thus to the Anla' Shok. The number of human rangers is growing quickly. If he could arrange for you to shame and dishonour a human ranger then the relationship between the humans and the Minbari would grow unstable and Shakiri would achieve an a rift between the factions. You were the logical choice. To him, you are the embodiment of that new age that he hates. He did not expect, however, that you would go off in a search of Marcus when Shakiri had him abducted. Shakiri must have been furious when he heard that you took Marcus into your house and then you pronounced the ranger your Kirmana. That was not something Shakiri expected you to do. So now he is trying to get to you this way, by sabotaging your position in the Warrior Council. You have to handle this very carefully, Neroon."

"Shahaam, do you really think Shakiri is capable of scheming like this?"

"You must never underestimate the enemy, Neroon. I thought I taught you that a long time ago. Shakiri didn't rise to his rank by being stupid." Shahaam rose to his feet and studied Neroon. "The human doctor is working on the Anla'Shok's readings and told me that it would take him some hours to sort them out. You should tell Marcus what we uncovered. He has no reason to fear you as you are now. I know that it will be hard for him to understand that it wasn't the real you who was stalking him, but you should try."

"How can I tell him without appearing to be putting the blame on someone else? The only thing he knows, remembers, is that I was the one who assaulted him. Even if I could explain to him about the human drugs in my blood, his fear wouldn't go away," Neroon objected.

"You need to try, Neroon." Shahaam gave him one more encouraging look and left the study.

Neroon remained seated in his chair; brooding, plotting, seeking a way to get revenge.

///

Lying in his bed Marcus felt deserted. Stephen had left him to set up the last bits of his improvised Medlab and although Danzi was always close, Marcus wished for Neroon's company. Sensing the growing chill in the room, he realized that the sun outside must have set and he wondered where Neroon was. He was reluctant to go back to sleep, feeling the nightmare lurk at the edge of his consciousness. Well, if Neroon wasn't going to come to him, he would have to go to Neroon. Marcus climbed out of bed and hesitantly walked over to the door. Being out of bed for a couple of times had made him familiar with the room and he opened the door.

"Marcus....You should be resting."

He identified Danzi's voice at once. "Don't you ever sleep, Danzi? Every time I venture outside, you seem to be lurking out here."

"The Alit ordered me to make sure you're safe. I take that responsibility very seriously. It is an honour to protect you."

"An honour? To protect a blind cripple?" The sharp edge of that comment was aimed at himself and he heard how Danzi stopped breathing for a moment.

"You might be blind, but you're Neroon's Kirmana and therefore very important."

Marcus waved the statement away, touched that Danzi would go through the trouble of reassuring him, but certainly not believing him. "I would like to speak to Neroon. Do you know where I can find him?"

"He's in his study. Do you want me to get him for you?"

Shaking his head, Marcus' fingers reached out for the opposite wall. He was relieved when he found the door handle. He knocked, but received no answer. "What do you think? Can I go inside?" Doubt showed on Marcus' face as he tried to reach a decision.

"Yes. The Alit is always glad to see you."

As he pushed down the door handle, Marcus could only hope that he wasn't doing anything that might infringe on Neroon's privacy. Stepping into the room, he felt lost. "Neroon?"

"Marcus? What are you doing here?" The warrior had been sitting in the dark, contemplating his situation. The fact that Marcus had come to his study surprised him greatly, but then he remembered the dark and gloomy nightmares the ranger had. It had turned dark and Neroon had completely forgotten that Marcus needed him at night.

"I... was hoping you would want to sit with me during the night, but... you surely have more important things to do. Sorry I disturbed you.." Marcus turned to leave, regretting being so bloody stupid to come here and almost beg Neroon to help him through the night.

"Marcus, wait!" Neroon had been dozing himself and hadn't paid any attention to the time. A few seconds later he was beside Marcus, who seemed strangely vulnerable to the warrior. "I will come with you. I did not realize that it was that late."

A sigh of relief went through the ranger as he heard those words and he was embarrassed when he realized that it showed. Together they moved to his room.

"Why dot you not already lay down? I will join you in a minute, there is something I need to talk to Danzi about."

Marcus nodded and returned to the still warm bed. As he got off his feet, he felt the fatigue claiming him once more. A few seconds later Neroon entered the room and closed the door.

"What do you want, Marcus? Me sitting in the chair or…?"

The question made Marcus uncomfortable. "It seems hardly fair to ask of you to sleep in the chair for another night, but I don't know if you would feel comfortable laying down in a bed at this angle."

"The only important question is; do you feel comfortable with me lying next to you?" Neroon remarked, closely observing him.

Marcus gulped hearing that question. "I'm not sure. I still get flashes from what happened, but I do know that I sleep a lot better when you're around."

Neroon lay down on top of the blankets, tucking Marcus in.

The ranger shivered slightly and told himself to stop being afraid. Neroon had had so many chances to force him; he hadn't taken advantage of them. Danzi was in the corridor and he could always scream for help. Yeah, like I would have a change fighting him!

"Don't worry now and get some sleep, Marcus." Somehow, Neroon felt Marcus' fear of him. He couldn't blame the ranger and knew that explaining Shakiri's scheming wouldn't help the situation. The warrior pushed some pillows underneath his back so he wasn't really lying down, but more like resting against the headboard and relaxed; hoping both of them wouldn't be tortured by nightmares.

Marcus could only hope that Neroon wouldn't revert to being the maniac he'd been on Babylon 5 and couldn't help trembling as Neroon stroked his hair like he'd done the night before.

"I am not going to hurt you Marcus, relax. I can feel you tremble."

The softness to Neroon's voice reverberated through him. Bugger, why couldn't he force himself to calm down?

"Give it time, Marcus.  You went through a very rough time and you need to deal with that before you can move on."

Marcus shivered even more violently as he noticed that Neroon had been answering his unspoken thoughts. Or had it just been another coincidence? He was too tired to think about the issue at hand and surrendered to sleep.

Neroon continued to stroke the soft hair and wondered about the strong affection he felt for this human. At times, it was almost like he felt Marcus' fear and pain. Wrapping his other arm defensively around Marcus, he followed the ranger into sleep.

///

Stephen was actually whistling as he made his way over to Marcus' room. He'd been studying his friend's readings all night and had realized that Marcus' blindness could be cured. The blood cloth could be removed with laser technology and the surgery could be performed in the improvised laboratory. If only Marcus had confided in him earlier!

There was a young Minbari warrior guarding the corridor and Stephen hoped the Minbari understood Standard. To his distress he'd found that most Minbari had never learned the language.

"Do you understand Standard? I would like to talk to Marcus." Waiting for an answer, Stephen noticed that a smile appeared on the warrior's face.

"Yes, I do speak Standard. My name is Danzi and I'm the Alit's second in command.... I would knock before you enter the room though."

The doctor realized that he was missing something here. Raising an eyebrow, he looked inquisitively at Danzi, hoping to get some more information.

"Neroon is in the room."

"Aha...." So what are you trying to tell me? Stephen tried to gauge the intention behind Danzi's words. The doctor had to admit that his opinion of Neroon was changing. The find of drugs in the Minbari's blood explained a lot; including why the present Neroon differed so greatly from the one Stephen had encountered on the station. Remembering the conversation he'd had with Shahaam after Neroon had left the lab, he realized that he had never really known Neroon. Shahaam had told him some things about Shakiri, the ways of the Minbari and about the Alit himself.

As he knocked on the door he didn't miss the grin on Danzi's face and wondered why it was there. There was no response to his knock so he silently opened the door and carefully peeked inside. He was baffled when he saw that Neroon was holding Marcus tightly in his sleep. Closing the door, he considered what he had seen. Was there something going on between the two men or not? Stephen had been certain that Marcus would never allow the Minbari that close to him ever again.

No, I'm not going to judge anyone and certainly not Marcus after all he has been through. But I begin to see why Susan wanted Neroon to take care of Marcus. There's an attraction between Marcus and the warrior. What was it that Susan mentioned to me? That Marcus felt ashamed of loving someone of the same gender? Well, I suppose it would be hard on Marcus. Susan went through the same thing with Talia...

"I think I'll knock harder this time," Franklin told Danzi.

Danzi's grin was plastered to his face as the doctor pounded on the door.

///

Instantly awake, Neroon looked at the door and wondered what was wrong. A moment later Marcus woke as well and sat up as the warrior got out of bed.

Marcus brushed the hair back from his face and felt rested for the first time in days. There had been no nightmares this night although he'd woken a few times due to a strange noise; Neroon had been snoring.

"Good morning, Marcus. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes.... but that pounding is giving me a headache."

"Then let's put an end to it." Neroon looked at Marcus, who was rubbing his eyes.

The ranger got out of bed and managed to get to the bathroom without bumping into the furniture.

Neroon's attention shifted to the door and he wondered who was making that much noise this early. As he opened the door he was surprised to see Stephen Franklin smile at him in an embarrassed way. "Doctor.." Neroon stepped aside to allow Stephen to enter the room. Straightening out his tunic, he sat down in his chair, waiting for the doctor to explain his reason for coming here at this early hour.

"Where is Marcus?" Stephen knew that his friend had to be close.

"In the bathroom. Did you have the time to study his readings?"

Making sure that Marcus couldn't hear them just yet, Stephen went to stand next to Neroon. "Yes, I think there is a fairly good chance that he can regain his eyesight. It would require some surgery, but that can be done here."

"Then we should tell him and schedule the surgery."

Nodding his head, Stephen wondered about something else. "Neroon, did you tell Marcus about Shakiri's plotting and the drugs? You really should, you know."

"I know, but...I think it would be better you told him."

Stephen eyed the Minbari and reached a conclusion; Neroon had no idea how to break the news to the ranger. "You want me to tell him? You're sure about this?"

"Yes..."

Their conversation stopped abruptly as Marcus appeared from the bathroom. He had tried to brush his hair, but it was still a mess.

Stephen smiled affectionately at his friend. "Marcus? I need to tell you something, but first I want you to sit down on the bed."

"That bad?" A mock smile made its appearance on the ranger's face as he lowered himself onto the bed, resting his back against the headboard. He tried hard to act like nothing was wrong, but he knew that tone in Stephen's voice too well. The doctor was serious -- too serious--.

"No, not bad news… Do you remember that I told you that I wanted to check on your readings?"

Marcus nodded. Yes, he'd wondered about that.

"Well, I had a look at them last night."

What is he trying to say? Is there some bad news he needs to tell me? He's nervous. Marcus reverted back to playing with the cloth of his tunic. He missed his pike. Opening and closing it helped him relax.

"Marcus, there might be a chance that your blindness can be cured. It would involve some surgery, but I'm confident I can repair the damage."

Shocked, Marcus froze momentarily. Was this the truth? Would he be able to see again? He was afraid to hope, but to have his eyesight restored to him. Unable to finish the thought, he heard himself stutter as he addressed his friend. "Are you sure? I mean... am I really going to be able to see again?"

Stephen exchanged a glance with Neroon who was watching the ranger carefully. "Yes, Marcus. If you want me to I can operate on you this evening."

"Today? Stephen, you aren't pulling my leg, are you?"

"No, I'm serious, Marcus. Want me to do the surgery today? I need to get my equipment ready and you would have to come down to the laboratory."

"Neroon, will you help me getting there?"

"Of course." Neroon hoped Stephen wasn't mistaken and he could cure the ranger's blindness.

"Alright." Turning to the Minbari, Stephen mentally went over all the things he needed to do before he could perform the surgery. "I expect Marcus at 2000 hours. Can you make sure he gets there?"

"I will take him there myself." Neroon made a mental note of the hour and realized that he needed to check on Shahaam's progress. He excused himself and left the room.

Now that they were alone, Stephen sat beside Marcus on the bed. "Marcus? There's something else you need to know. Neroon kind of asked me to tell you."

"What is it, Stephen?"

///

Neroon contacted Shahaam and immediately noticed the somewhat worried look on the Minbari's face.

"It is not going well, Neroon. Shakiri is trying to divide the factions. He is portraying the ranger to be the source of all trouble. He is telling the Council that you felt attracted to Marcus, and that when he rejected you, you dishonoured him. Shakiri wants your blood, Neroon and I think that he is willing to go to great lengths to achieve that."

"Which clans are loyal to him?" He didn't like this news. It appeared that Shahaam's fears had come true. Shakiri was trying to fracture the Anla'Shok and remove him from the Council. That could not be allowed to happen. Neroon realized that the two races needed each other if they were going to defeat the Shadows. They needed the humans.

"The Star Riders are backing you up and the Moons Shields also realize that the fragile balance between the humans and Minbari needs to be maintained. Being the Clan leader of the Winds Swords gives Shakiri their support. The Night Walkers and Fire Wings have not yet spoken. You should come here and speak to them yourself."

"I know you're right, Shahaam. When is their next meeting?"

"Tomorrow evening."

"I will be there." Neroon was thinking fast. He could leave tomorrow afternoon and still be on time for the meeting. The truth was that he didn't want Marcus to be alone now he was being operated on. He terminated the connection and established contact with the Ranger Training Facility. There were some matters he had to attend to.

Continue here with part 2