Title: Prelude
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email:
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairing; Hephaestion/Alexander
Overall rating: PG 13
Summary: Alexander tells Hephaestion what he desires
most in life.
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. I
am burrowing them from the movie “Alexander.”
Warnings: AU
Beta read by Veresti.
All mistakes are mine.
Prelude
“It would mean much to me if you would do this
for me. Please try, Hephaestion? For me? I don’t want the two of you to be
alone tomorrow eve and I am afraid Bagoas might flee into someone else’s arms.
I don’t want him to end up hurt because I am marrying Roxanne. I trust you to
do this right. I trust you with him.” Alexander feels winded after delivering
this passionate speech and looks deeply into Hephaestion’s azure eyes, which
sparkle with love for him. “You know that I always hoped we would be able to
comfort each other in the hour of need.”
Hephaestion considers Alexander’s request.
“Are you really certain you want this to happen?” Tomorrow, Alexander will wed
Roxanne and take her into his bed and Hephaestion understands his lover’s
worries. Bagoas worships Alexander and he is also worried how the younger man
will react when reality finally hits him.
“You know my deepest desire, Hephaestion.” He
has shared his most secret desire with his long-time lover and it is only due
to Hephaestion’s hesitance that they never carried out Alexander’s wish.
“I know that you still hope that Bagoas and I
will accept each other’s presence in your life. I tried befriending him,” says
Hephaestion in a thoughtful voice. He still recalls the night that
Alexander told him he wanted both of his lovers in bed with him, that he wanted
the three of them to be lovers. Hephaestion, however, declined,
convinced that Bagoas would never accept such an arrangement. Bagoas wants
Alexander to himself and Hephaestion understands that need, for he feels it
too.
But there is more. Being a eunuch robbed
Bagoas of many sensations and it is only understandable that he defends his
rights to Alexander with a passion. At one time Hephaestion was convinced that
Bagoas was preparing to murder him, but he never told Alexander, not wanting to
damage Bagoas’ reputation. “Bagoas dislikes me.”
Alexander shakes his head. “I want to discuss
*your* feelings for him. Do you loathe him?” He is treading on thin ice; they
never discussed their complicated relationship before, but now he needs to know
where Hephaestion stands. “Do you?”
“I do not hate him,” says Hephaestion in an
exasperated voice. “I never did. I admit to feeling jealous when he is in your
bed at night.” Hephaestion tilts his head and looks into Alexander’s eyes. “I
love you so much that sharing you with him hurts. There was a time when I was
afraid I would lose you to the world, but the truth is that I lost you to
Bagoas a long time ago.”
“No, you never lost me, Hephaestion, you still
have me – me and my love – I will always love you. You are the other half of my
soul. I can not live without you. When you die I *will* follow you to the House
of Death, you know that.” Alexander gives his lover a shy look. “But I also
love Bagoas. I love his strength, his beauty and his wisdom.”
Hephaestion draws in a deep breath and nods
his head once. His long, auburn hair caresses his shoulders and when Alexander
leans in closer to kiss him the strands tease against his lover’s face.
Alexander’s golden hair and his strands mingle and their kiss deepens. It is
Hephaestion who breaks the kiss eventually, studying Alexander’s pleading eyes
for a long time. “You really want me to reach out to him in such an intimate
way?”
“You are a part of me, Hephaestion. You
wouldn’t be cheating on me, if that thought burdens you. When you make love to
him, it will be me making love to him. We are one. We always have been.” Having
both his lovers in his bed at the same time is his greatest desire. “I want the
three of us to be together in that way.” A nervous twitch near Hephaestion’s
eye tells Alexander that his lover is nervous.
“Once I do this there will be no turning back,
do you understand that, my Alexander?” Hephaestion feels conflicted.
“I do.” Alexander rests the palm of his hand
against Hephaestion’s cheek, gently caressing his facial skin. “Now tell me the
truth, Hephaestion. Have you ever desired Bagoas?”
Hephaestion closes his eyes, uncertain he can
hold Alexander’s gaze while admitting the truth. “I have.”
Alexander’s heart flutters with joy. “And you
never told me? Why?”
Hephaestion’s eyes opens. “I was not certain
you would approve.”
“But I told you that I want the three of us…”
Hephaestion silences him by placing a fingertip across his lips. Apparently his
lover isn’t finished yet.
“You asked me if I desired him, Alexander. You
should have asked if I can learn to love him.”
“You can?” Alexander smiles at his lover. “You
have feelings for him?”
“Feelings, which I smothered because of you.
The arrangement between the three of us works, why complicate matters further?”
“Please do this for me, Hephaestion. Be there
for him, love him like I would.” Maybe that after Hephaestion and Bagoas sort
out matters between them it can be the three of them in the future.