Upstairs in the bedroom, Remy quickly slipped into some jeans and a T-shirt. "Sounds like Beast," he said and watched Joseph scramble to his feet. "I'll take care of dem, go shower, cher..."

 

"Now?" Joseph objected.

 

"I'll talk to dem, now move!" Remy playfully swatted Joseph's butt and watched the other man dash into the bathroom. "Y'r timin' sucks, Henri," Remy muttered privately as he descended the stairs.

 

He frowned, seeing Hank and Scott standing outside. "Merci for puttin' de door back in," he said quickly, wondering why they weren't coming inside. "Somet'in' wrong?"

 

"You could say that, my Cajun friend. There seems to be some sort of barrier, which keeps us from entering the boathouse," Hank explained. He was already taking in Remy's appearance and detected a distinct improvement in the way the Cajun moved and eyed him. The apathy seemed gone and Remy was alert.

 

Remy walked up to them and eyed them curiously. "A barrier?" He watched closely as Hank tried to step inside. An invisible force threw McCoy off his feet. "I've no idea what dis is," Remy muttered as he tried to exit the house and landed on his butt as well.

 

"Maybe it's Joseph's doing?" Scott suggested, slightly amused.

 

Remy shrugged his shoulders. "Could be... Josep'!" He called out to his lover.

 

Luckily, Joseph had finished his shower and was putting on his clothes when he heard Remy's voice. "Yes?"

 

"Joe, dis barrier... did y' do dat?" Remy walked over to the staircase and smiled when Joseph emerged from the bedroom. //Merde! He's wearin' *my* jeans!// But he loved the way they looked on his lover. //Too tight, cher?// he quipped privately when Joseph descended the stairs.

 

"Yes, I did that," Joseph clarified. "I didn't want any more unannounced guests." With one mental command he caused the force field to collapse. "You can come inside now."

 

"Thanks!" Scott signaled Hank to follow him. "Check on Remy," he instructed.

 

"Hey!" Remy objected when Hank pulled him into the kitchen.

 

"Are you taking your meds regularly?" Hank inquired and ran a few standard tests on his patient.

 

"Don' worry. Joe's a watchdog and makin' me take dem," Remy growled and reluctantly allowed Hank to take a blood sample. "Is dat really necessary?"

 

"I'm afraid so, Remy. I need to know if the medication is having the desired effect." Hank put the sample away and observed his patient. Remy didn't look that pale any more, some color had returned to the handsome face. "You're looking better today, young man."

 

"Feelin' betta," Remy admitted. "What are y' doin' here?"

 

"Rogue told us about Astra's visit and... what was said. So she created a clone from Magneto's DNA? Fascinating." Hank wasn't prepared for Remy's bitter rebuke.

 

"Fascinatin'? Y' t'ink her screwin' 'round wit' DNA is fascinatin'? Do y' have any idea how Joe feels?" His eyes narrowed dangerously. "I t'ought betta of y', Henri McCoy!"

 

Puzzled, Hank didn't know how to react. The vehement tone in Remy's voice was unexpected. "I didn't mean it like that, Remy, but from a scientific point of view it's amazing that she was able to do what she did!"

 

"Scientific point of view?" Remy shook his head in disgust. "Does any of y' ever t'ink 'bout de feelings and needs of de people dat are cloned?"

 

"Remy, I didn't know that you felt this strongly about cloning."

 

Remy averted his eyes. He had to get his temper back under control before he'd tell Hank things that should stay a secret. "It's bien, Henri. I know y' didn' mean it like dat... Sorry."

 

"It's understandable that you are concerned. You witnessed the attack?"

 

"Oui." Suddenly, Remy wondered if Rogue had told them about Joseph and he being lovers. Did he want them to know? Would Joseph prefer to keep their relationship a secret? They should talk about this! For now, he decided not to tell Hank and said, "Y' should examine Joe, Henri. Astra said somet'in' 'bout messin' with his genetic make-up or mebbe she did somet'in' else to him, mais she can control him somehow. When she switched on dat device, Joe was in pain."

 

Thoughtfully, Hank nodded his head. "Joseph will need to come to my medical lab and I'll run some very thorough tests on him. Hopefully, we will be able to determine the source of this manipulation."

 

"And remove it," Remy added.

 

"Let's talk to Joseph," Hank suggested. "But first, let me say that your progress pleases me. Take the Zoloft, eat and drink and you'll be fine."

 

"Merci, Henri." Remy got to his feet, feeling glad that the examination was over. He hoped that Joseph would agree to being examined by Hank.

 

///

 

Scott released a deep sigh. "A clone?" Joseph had just told him that his memory had returned due to Astra's appearance and Scott didn't know what to think. Joseph was Magneto's clone and Astra had created him to aid her in destroying the master of magnetism. "I don't know what to say, Joseph."

 

"You're the leader of the X-Men, Scott," Joseph said as he paced the living area. "You're entitled to know the truth and you can tell Xavier as well, but..." Joseph looked at Scott. "Am I still welcome here now that you know what I am?"

 

"*Who* I am," Scott corrected absentmindedly. "Not *what*." The odd look that Joseph gave him alerted Scott. "Look, we'll deal with this as a team, all right? I don't care whether you're human, alien or a clone. You're part of this team and that's it!"

 

Surprised, Joseph nodded his head. Why did everybody accept this so easily? He had one hell of time coming to terms with the truth. "Thanks, Scott."

 

"Now, tell me who this Astra is and what we're up against." Scott sat down on the couch and listened patiently as Joseph explained everything to him.

 

"And she tries to control you with pain? How does that work? Scott asked. "Did she implant a device into your brain or..."

 

"That's what we need to find out, Scott," Hank said, interrupting the conversation. "I checked on Remy and our Acadian friend is doing better." Hank noticed the proud expression in Joseph's eyes when he praised Remy for the progress he'd made. Something was going on here but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

 

"I'm glad to hear that," Scott said and got up from the couch. "You want to examine Joseph in your lab?"

 

"I don't have the necessary equipment here, so yes, Joseph you need to come to my lab." Hank observed Joseph closely. He couldn't imagine what kind of inner struggle the other man was facing now that he knew that he was a clone. "We should get started right now." Hank wanted to run some tests first to to determine the cause of Joseph's pain response.

 

Joseph reluctantly nodded his head. He didn't look forward to subjecting himself to these tests, but couldn't decline the help. He had to make sure that Astra couldn't hurt him like that again. "I'll come to the mansion."

 

"Good," Scott concluded and walked towards the front door. "Are you guys coming along?" Surprised, he looked at Remy who seemed frozen to the floor. "Gambit?"

 

"I vowed to never set foot in dere 'gain," Remy said softly. Pleadingly, he locked eyes with Joseph. "I don' know if I can go back dere..." When he'd left the mansion he hadn't been thinking straight.

 

//What if I run in to Rogue while I'm 'lone?// Remy wondered, nervously. "Can' I stay here?"

 

"No, you can't, Remy." Joseph walked over to his lover and grasped Remy's hand tightly in his. It didn't matter that they weren't alone and that Hank and Scott might wonder about their relationship, Joseph had to reassure Remy that everything was fine. "We'll do it together... I didn't plan on going back to the mansion either, but doctor McCoy needs to run these tests on me. We need to find a way to stop Astra."

 

Remy knew that Joseph had made a valid point and nodded his head. "I'll come 'long," he whispered, nervously.

 

"I'll stay close," Joseph promised as they walked outside.

 

Hank and Scott exchanged a meaningful look. They stayed slightly behind Remy and Joseph so they could talk without being overheard. "Are they holding hands?" Scott asked softly.

 

"I think they are, Scott." Hank grinned. "Maybe this... mutual attraction is aiding Remy's recovery," he said smugly. "As long as my patient benefits, I welcome it."

 

"Maybe that's why Rogue has been so quiet lately. Up until a few days ago, Rogue and Joseph were verbally fighting all the time!" Scott watched them closely and noticed that Joseph's fingers were soothingly rubbing Remy's hand. "Love or lust?"

 

"Judging from the way they are looking at each other, I'd say love," Hank replied, amused.

 

///

 

"Please lie down on the exam bed," Hank requested and waited for Joseph to comply. Remy stood at the other side of the bed, as the Cajun had refused to leave Joseph alone.

 

Scott stood at the foot end, watching them. "Remy? A word in private please?"

 

Reluctantly, Remy left Joseph's side and waited for Scott to close the door behind him. They stood in the corridor, giving Hank a chance to run his tests without any distractions.

 

Remy eyed Scott suspiciously. "What do y' wanna talk 'bout?"

 

"Would you and Joseph consider moving back in to the mansion until we've found a way to deal with Astra?" Scott saw the nervous twitch near Remy's left eye. Since they'd returned to the mansion, Remy had been looking over his shoulder. Maybe Hank had been too optimistic and Remy hadn't dealt with his depression and anxiety yet.

 

"Non, Scott, please don' ask me dat."

 

"For one night? Until Hank has evaluated the test results?" Scott wasn't going to give in easily. "If Astra attacks again, you're wide open. You can't take that risk."

 

"One night?" Remy said, doubtfully.

 

"If it makes you feel more comfortable you can stay at Joseph's room or he at yours," Scott suggested and smiled warmly.

 

//Merde! Dey know!// Remy realized startled. Was the attraction between Joseph and him that obvious? Apparently it was! "I'd appreciate it if y' didn' tell de ot'ers. I don' know if Joe wants everyone to know."

 

"So you're together?" Scott asked, teasingly. Had someone told him that Joseph and Remy would end up being an item, he would have called that person mad, but now it seemed very believable. The professor had also hinted at the fact that the two men seemed very comfortable around each other.

 

"Oui," Remy whispered. "Can I go back 'side now?" 

 

"Why don't you give Hank some time to examine Joseph?" Scott suggested. "When was the last time you ate and did you bring your meds for the night?"

 

"I took a pill dis mornin'," Remy replied, baffled that Scott had remembered his medication. "I can go get my meds."

 

"I'll get them. I want you to stay here. Astra might try to get to Joseph through you." Scott led Remy into Hank's office and made some of the herbal tea Beast used in order to stay awake when he was doing his research. After removing the tea bags, he handed Remy one mug and sat down opposite the Cajun. "Where will you be staying tonight? Which room?"

 

Remy looked up, confused. "Why do y' wanna know?"

 

"In case of an attack," Scott clarified. "I don't want to end up in the wrong room when Astra makes her move."

 

"I've got to ask Josep' first..." Remy felt uncomfortable making a decision like that without consulting his lover first.

 

"Remy?" Hank stepped into his office and signaled the Cajun to approach him. "I'm going to give Joseph a break. The tests are tiring him. Could you stay with him while I study the first test results?"

 

"Mais oui!" Remy hurried back to the exam room, where he found Joseph sitting upright in bed. A large number of electrodes were attached to his naked chest, throat and face. "Cher? How are y' doin'?"

 

"Fine," Joseph said reassuringly. He could tell by the look in Remy's eyes that his lover needed to tell him something. "What is it?"

 

"Scott wants us to stay here for de night in case Astra tries anot'er sneak attack." Remy immediately claimed Joseph's hand. Hank had been right. Joseph looked like he needed a break. "I said we would stay de night..." Apologetically, Remy met Joseph's eyes. "I can tell him non, if y' don' wanna stay."

 

"We'll stay," Joseph replied calmly.

 

"Next, he wanted to know what room we would be in." This time, Remy averted his eyes and stared at the floor. "Dey figured it out, cher."

 

"Holding hands probably gave us away," Joseph replied cheerfully. "It's okay, Remy. I didn't plan on keeping our love a secret." Remy's eyes began to sparkle at hearing those words and Joseph loved to see those orbs so alive. Then, he considered Remy's question. "Can we stay in your room?"

 

"Sure, cher, we can," Remy happily agreed and pressed a kiss on Joseph's hand. "Want me to get some stuff from y'r room?"

 

"Some briefs, shirts, jeans, the usual stuff." Joseph smiled warmly, but then grew thoughtful. "Are you okay with this, Remy, letting them know that we're in love? Or do you want to keep this a secret a little longer?"

 

"Non, cher, c'est bien wit' me. Everyone can know I love y'." Remy shuffled his feet. "Should get my room cleaned up. When I left it was a mess."

 

"Then get going, sexy," Joseph said teasingly and curled one arm around Remy's neck to bring his lover in for a kiss. "Maybe I get to discover more hidden talents tonight?" he hinted.

 

"Would y' like dat?" Remy blushed slightly.

 

"I'd love to." Joseph released him. "Now get going. I don't plan on leaving your room after McCoy released me." He didn't want to run into Rogue after promising her to stay away from the mansion.

 

///

 

As Remy walked Joseph to his room, he remained alert. Rogue hadn't shown herself yet and the other X-Men seemed to keep their distance too. He'd been hoping to run into Storm and find out if she could ever forgive him, but she stayed clear as well.

 

"Remy?" Joseph saw the distant expression in Remy's eyes and called his lover back to the present.

 

Remy smiled and placed a kiss on Joseph's hand, which he held tightly. "I tried to clean up a lil'," he said apologetically. "Mais I got too much stuff and not 'nough space."

 

Joseph stifled a grin. "I'm sure it looks fine." When Remy opened the door at last, he peeked inside. "Why are you worried? Looks great..." The first thing he noticed was the big four poster bed made from dark oak. It had red satin sheets and looked extremely comfortable. "I love your bed... wish we had a bed like this at the boathouse."

 

Joseph walked over to the bed and ran his fingers over the soft fabric of the sheets. Then, his fingertips slithered up the wood. "I definitely love it." His eyes drifted away from the bed and towards Remy's collection of books and CD's. "I've never been here before," Joseph mused out loud and read the titles of the books. Next, he encountered a large painting.

 

Remy noticed Joseph's curious expression. "Monet," he explained. "My favorite painter. He tried to capture de sea on a drowsy evenin' when he stood paintin' on de cliffs." 

 

"I know nothing about art..." Joseph said thoughtfully, as he studied the painting. "Astra probably thought it would be wasted on me." Joseph couldn't lock out the bitter tone that slipped into his voice. He decided that he liked the painting.

 

"Poppa t'aught me everyt'in' I know 'bout art. A t'ief needs to know if a paintin' is a forgery," Remy said and slid closer. He enfolded Joseph in a hug and pulled his lover close to his chest.

 

Joseph leaned into the embrace and realized that the rest of Remy's room was filled with even more books. A wooden desk had been buried beneath CD's and magazines. He didn't know what he'd thought Remy's room would look like, but certainly not like this.

 

His stomach growled and Joseph said, "We should grab a bite to eat before turning in." His eyes returned to the four poster bed. "Can we crawl into bed after dinner and... spend the rest of the evening there? Could I read one of your books? I've never read one..." he said in a miserable tone.

 

"Y' can have all de books y' want, cher. What’s mine is y’rs!" Remy said softly and kissed the back of Joseph's neck. He was trying to find a way to tell Joseph that he didn't want to go to the kitchen. He was still hiding from Rogue and the other X-Men.

 

"Let's eat," Joseph said firmly, and buried Remy's hand in his. He saw the uncertainty in Remy's eyes. "I won't leave you alone with Rogue, should we run into her." 

 

Remy took a deep breath, unable to deny Joseph anything. "Lead on," he said hesitantly and followed Joseph into the kitchen.

 

///

 

Remy sighed relieved when he realized that only Scott and Jean were in the kitchen. He remained close to Joseph while his lover piled leftovers onto their plates.

 

"Remy?" Jean smiled warmly. "I miss having you around."

 

Remy bit his tongue, wanting to point out to her that Scott had told him to move into the boathouse.

 

The professor had told her that Remy was an empath and she hoped that the Cajun sensed her sincerity. She had been shocked to hear that Remy had empathic abilities. When Charles had told her just how strong Remy's shields were she'd been stunned. She'd felt his shields before, but according to Charles they'd grown even stronger. //What if he has some telepathic abilities too?//

 

"But I think it's for the best that you stay at the boathouse," Jean continued and placed her hand on Remy's arm.

 

Remy cringed, hearing her words. So she wanted him out of sight as well? From the corner of his eyes, he noticed that Joseph was eyeing him closely.

 

Jean felt Remy's sudden unease and sensed the tension that had appeared in his body. "You do know why Scott asked you to move into the boathouse temporarily?"

 

Remy nodded his head. "Y' don' want de traitor hangin' 'round de mansion."

 

At hearing those harsh words, Scott sat his mug down hard and turned around to face Remy. "What?"

 

Joseph continued to watch the exchange and decided to let Remy handle this. Hopefully talking to Scott and Jean would convince Remy that their intentions were honest. He'd already suspected that Scott had asked Remy to move in to the boathouse out of concern.

 

"Do you really think that?" Scott said and walked up to Remy.

 

"Oui," Remy whispered in a tiny tone. "I know dat what I did was wrong..."

 

Scott sensed Jean's concern and shared the feeling. "Remy, you left the room before I could explain myself to you." Scott felt guilty for not going after the Cajun when he'd asked Remy to move out of the mansion. If he'd known how depressed and miserable the Cajun had felt, he would have persisted. Now, he could only wonder how much deeper the empath had spiraled into depression, thinking that moving into the boathouse was some kind of punishment.

 

Remy stared at the floor. He'd known there would be trouble by agreeing to stay at the mansion overnight.

 

"I wanted you to have some rest," Scott explained, cocked his head and tried to make Remy look at him. He failed and Scott placed one hand on Remy's shoulder. "I know that Warren, Storm and Rogue are giving you a hard time and I wanted to remove you from that situation. After the fiasco in Antarctica I felt that you needed some down time." Scott gently squeezed Remy's shoulder. "I never meant to punish you. I'm sorry that you thought I was trying to get back at you."

 

Hesitantly, Remy raised his eyes and looked at Scott. How many times had he wished he could see the man's eyes? Staring at the visor was unnerving. Suddenly, he felt embarrassed that he'd assumed he knew Scott's reasons for making him leave, but... "Mais I felt y'r loat'in'," he whispered, barely audible.

 

"I didn't feel proud of myself for giving in to the pressure," Scott apologized, only now realizing how different being an empath was from a telepath. Jean could read his thoughts, but Remy could tell what he was feeling.

 

Joseph smiled and realized that Jean was grinning right back at him. It was good to know that they still had friends here at the mansion. "Come on, Remy, I'm hungry." Joseph handed Remy his tray. "Let's eat in your room so we can have some privacy."

 

Jean joined her husband and watched the two men leave. "I think they're good for each other," she said eventually. "When you told me they were together I didn't know how to feel about that, but now that I've seen them and felt their minds... I hope we can beat Astra so they get some peace."

 

Scott nodded his head. Taking out Astra was high on his list of priorities too.

 

///

 

After eating dinner, Joseph joined Remy, who was sitting on the floor and going through his book collection. "Did you already find that book you mentioned?" He'd told Remy that he would love to read his first book, but that he couldn't decide which one. Remy had offered to pick one for him.

 

"Just a sec, cher... It's been a while since I went t'rough dem and I didn' put dem back on de right shelf." Remy quavered, feeling Joseph's hand slip beneath his shirt to caress his bare back. "I t'ought y' wanted to read, cher!"

 

"You promised to reveal another one of your many hidden talents, sexy. The book can wait until later." Joseph held his breath. When he'd tried to get Rogue in the mood, she'd usually told him off, telling him to wait until she wanted to have sex too. Would Remy react in the same way?

 

"Here it is, cher!" Triumphantly, Remy handed his lover the book.

 

"768 pages? Have mercy on me!" Joseph sighed as he suspiciously eyed the book. Next, he checked its title and author. "Ulysses by James Joyce?"

 

"Y' don' know it?" Remy asked smugly and moved about until he sat between his lover's legs. His back rested comfortably against Joseph's chest. Immediately, Joseph's arm folded itself around his waist to pull him closer. 

 

"Never heard of it, but that doesn't say much..." It was the first time that he planned on reading a book. "Remy, why this book?"

 

"I t'ink you'll like it, cher. It's witty, realistic and not too difficult to read. Y' might need a dictionary once in a while, mais I've got one right here!" Hopefully, Joseph wouldn't get lost while reading Ulysses. Now that Joseph sat behind him, Remy realized that his lover was erect. "Y' want me to keep my promise? Mais I ain' sure I want to reveal anot'er of my talents just yet." He decided to tease Joseph a little, wondering how Joseph would react.

 

Joseph groaned. It didn't look like he could interest the Cajun in some love making. Too bad, he was really in the mood to get physical. "It's okay, sexy, we'll just turn in for the night and read. I can wait." His erection however, begged to differ. //What's going on with me? While I was with Rogue we had sex once, maybe twice a week and now... I came twice during the last 48 hours!//

 

Remy felt Joseph's disappointment and wondered what had caused it. Turning around in the embrace, he sat on his knees between Joseph's legs. When his lover tried to get to his feet, Remy stopped him. "Cher, what's wrong? I was only teasin' y'."

 

"Teasing me?" Joseph blinked his eyes. "Remy, I don't know what... how..." Lost and confused, he gazed into Remy's eyes. "I don't know the rules, what you expect me to do, or what I'm supposed to do."

 

Remy realized his mistake. "Sorry, cher, was sendin' mixed signals, won't do it 'gain." He tended to forget that Joseph didn't know much about the dating game. Remy smiled and pulled Joseph on top of him while he lay down on the floor. "I'll show y' one of my talents," he whispered seductively and licked his lips while grinding his groin against Joseph's pelvis. 

 

Joseph panted, seeing the lust in his lover's eyes. "I like your sex drive," he repeated his earlier statement. "It's perfect." Leaning in closer, he roughly claimed Remy's lips.

 

Remy's eyes briefly grew big, realizing just how aroused Joseph was. //Is dis the same man who was afraid to kiss me?// he wondered, and gasped for breath when Joseph unzipped his jeans. //Mon Dieu! He's goin' to exhaust me!// Joseph's hand determinedly stole inside and pushed down his jeans and underwear. Remy wanted to say something, but Joseph's tongue was exploring every inch of his mouth and in the end he helplessly arched his back. If only Joseph would finally take him!

 

"I need to get you out of these clothes," Joseph mumbled, drowning in passion. He used his powers to basically tear the clothes off his lover's body.

 

"Cher!" Remy yelped helplessly, suddenly naked and squirming beneath his lover's weight. "Calm down!" He had to slow Joseph down. The lust and passion inside his lover's mind was overwhelming.

 

"Want to feel your skin against mine, sexy," Joseph whispered and also did away with his own clothing. He'd never felt more thankful to have these powers. Now that he was naked, he rubbed his body against Remy's.

 

"Want me to suck y'?" Remy offered and couldn't help lifting his hips in invitation. Joseph settled down between his legs and Remy groaned as the head of his lover's cock accidentally brushed his cleft, nudging against his entrance.

 

"No, not this time," Joseph said determinedly and curled his fingers firmly around Remy's slick cock.

 

"Whadda y' wanna do?" Remy asked, breathlessly. Unexpectedly, Joseph began to stroke him, setting a slow and tormenting pace. "Cher!" Joseph's cock twitched against his entrance and Remy almost begged Joseph to fuck him... but he didn't. It would ruin everything they'd achieved so far. "Know what y' want," he whispered seductively and curled his fingers around Joseph's hand, forcing his lover to release his aching cock.

 

Joseph threw back his head and his long hair danced over his body. Remy bucked hard against him, as Joseph dragged his locks over the Cajun's chest. "You like that?"

 

"Oui, cher... oui!" Remy couldn't help spreading his legs further, assuring Joseph that his ministrations were craved badly. His fingers were curled around Joseph's cock and quickly, he aligned their cocks.

 

"Remy!" Joseph called out his lover's name at the delicious sensation. His cock moved against Remy's and instinctively, he began to thrust.

 

"Oui, cher, dat's it!" Remy's fingers found Joseph's balls and he massaged them rhythmically. "Cover me in come, y'r come, wanna be y'rs, Josep'!"

 

"I won't last long!" Joseph whispered. He wanted to shoot his come onto his lover's body. Seeing Remy's fingers trail down, Joseph stopped thrusting, curious to find out what the Cajun was up to. The blood in his veins turned into fire, watching him.

 

Remy couldn't fight his needs any longer; he needed to feel something inside him. Slowly, he inserted his index finger into his opening and began to thrust, searching for his prostate to push him over the edge. "Cher, please!" Remy pulled Joseph close with his other hand and bruised his lover's lips in a passionate kiss.

 

"I..." Joseph tensed when he released his come onto Remy's abdomen.

 

Remy's fingertip brushed his prostate and he arched his back, pushing his cock against Joseph's and climaxed as well.

 

Joseph rested his body on Remy's, surrendering to the empath when Remy's orgasm coursed through his mind. After riding it out, he looked down and swallowed hard, seeing that Remy hadn't withdrawn his finger yet. "Don't move," he instructed and sat back, so he could keep Remy's hand in place. "Tell me how it feels," he commanded and rested his hand on Remy's, making sure his lover's finger stayed where it was.

 

Remy's eyes, which were draped with lust, locked with Joseph's. Remy felt his lover's curiosity and then there was Joseph's hand, keeping his in place. "Best feelin' in de world when makin' love," he whispered awkwardly, still reeling from the ecstasy he'd felt moments ago. Joseph's hand moved over his and Remy gasped, as his fingertip brushed his prostate again.

 

"Can I try it?" Joseph blushed. Seeing Remy touch himself with such abandon stirred his desire to please his lover. He knew that Remy wanted to be claimed, the Cajun had told him.

 

"Coat y'r finger wit' come," Remy instructed. Joseph allowed him to slowly pull back his finger and Remy sighed deeply at the prospect of feeling his lover's fingers inside him.

 

Joseph dipped his index finger into their come and was ready to continue the exploration of his lover's body. Cautiously, he placed the tip of his finger against Remy's entrance. "What do I do?"

 

"Don' just push inside," Remy said softly and closed his eyes to better feel Joseph's touch. "Massage de outer ring." He held his breath, hoping Joseph wouldn't lose his courage.

 

Joseph's eyes widened as his fingertip made contact with the warm and sticky flesh. Following Remy's advice, he gently massaged the puckered opening. "Is this all right?" he whispered, nervously. Remy's sigh made him look up. "You're growing hard again!"

 

"Can' help it, cher, feels so bien!" Remy struggled not to push back so Joseph's finger would slip inside. They had to take this slow. "Insert de tip of y'r finger..." He was relaxed and willing, craved the penetration and Joseph's fingertip easily slid inside. "Sacre," he cursed, wishing it was Joseph's cock instead!

 

"Remy?" Startled, Joseph almost pulled back at hearing Remy soft curse.

 

"Push in deeper, cher..." Remy had never before experienced such sweet torment. He wanted Joseph to fuck him hard and yet he had to stay in control and guide his lover. "Oui, bien," he panted as Joseph's digit slid inside him. "Now move y'r finger, cher!"

 

Experimentally, Joseph's finger made a circular motion inside his lover's passage. "Remy, do you really like this?"

 

"Oh, cher, keep dat up and I'll come 'gain!" Remy panted and bit his lower lip. "Would y' kiss me? Suckle my nipples?"

 

Joseph leaned in closer and his tongue gently touched one rock hard nipple. Licking the hard nub, he felt Remy arch his back. Then, pure ecstasy sliced through his mind. "Remy?" His cock was growing hard again too!

 

"Y' found de sweet spot, cher...  congratulations," Remy hissed as Joseph's finger brushed his prostate again. "Start t'rustin'!" he yelped in frustration.

 

Taken aback by Remy's surrender and obvious lust, Joseph established a fast thrusting motion, instinctively sensing that Remy needed to find release quickly. Again and again, he watched in amazement how his finger disappeared into his lover's body. Suddenly, Remy's muscle clenched his finger and he stopped moving. Remy's come spurted onto his stomach and the Cajun actually purred his name!

 

"Jo...sep'," Remy purred, drowning in ecstasy. Looking Joseph in the eyes, he catapulted his orgasm into his lover's mind, urged on by his need to share his ecstasy with Joseph.

 

Joseph released a strangled moan when Remy's pleasure coursed through him. Remy's muscle still clenched his finger and Joseph came violently, collapsing on top of his lover.

 

"Don'... pull... back..." Remy warned Joseph, as his tight ass gripped his lover's finger again.

 

Joseph could only stare into Remy's eyes and held onto to the Cajun for life.

 

Moments later, they both began to calm down. "Careful, cher," Remy said softly, barely able to summon the strength to guide Joseph through the last stage of their exploration. "Pull back slowly... don' rush or y'll hurt me."

 

Heeding the warning, Joseph cautiously pulled back from Remy's body. Stunned, he wrapped his arms around Remy, rolling them both onto their side. They still faced each other, but Remy no longer had to carry Joseph's weight.

 

"Didn't I tell you to warn me the next time you'd do that?" Joseph chuckled, riding an adrenaline high like he'd never experienced before. "I almost passed out!"

 

Remy grinned smugly. "Anot'er hidden talent revealed, non?"

 

"Remy, seriously, that was..." Joseph failed to find the right words to describe these strong feelings inside him.

 

"Mind-blowin'? Fuckin' fantastic?" Remy suggested. "Merde, cher, we need to take anot'er shower!" Laughing warmly, he decided the shower could wait. "Y' liked bein' 'side me?"

 

"With my finger?" Joseph asked and nodded his head. "But, sexy..." Joseph kissed him lazily and then continued. "I'm not going to fit in there."

 

Remy gave him a confused look. "Cher?"

 

"You know, my... cock won't fit! You're too tight! I'd hurt you!" Joseph's face grew flustered. "I'm much too big!"

 

"Oh, cher! Y'r cock will fit just nicely! Lemme take care of dat, oui?" Remy chuckled warmly and hugged Joseph close. "Don' worry 'bout dat! It'll fit!"

 

Still doubtful, Joseph sighed. "Shower?" he suggested. The slippery semen didn't feel that great any more and... "Can we get stuck together?"

 

"Oui, cher!"

 

The warm smile on Remy's face made Joseph feel humble. "I love you, sexy."

 

"Je t'aime," Remy assured him. "C'mon! Let's take dat shower toget'er. Catch me if y' can, cher!" Remy rolled Joseph onto his back, jumped to his feet and dashed into the bathroom.

 

Chuckling, Joseph followed his lover. 

 

///

 

Joseph put the book down and looked at his lover, who had curled up against him. After their sexual exploration, Joseph had made sure Remy took his medication, which Scott had dropped off earlier, and then they'd made themselves comfortable on the big four poster bed. Stroking Remy's hair, he couldn't help compare his current relationship with the one he'd been in with Rogue.

 

Slowly, he was starting to see where things had gone wrong with Rogue. She'd pushed him in to a role he wasn't comfortable with. She had solely been calling the shots, manipulating him and they had *never* been equals. Now that he was Remy's lover, he had *some* reference. He didn't know whether Remy and he were acting like a couple was supposed to act, but he loved the way the Cajun treated him.

 

Remy didn't tell him what to do, didn't try to change his mind or control him. Remy gladly accepted his caresses and didn't push for more. //He allows me to call the shots, to be in control,// Joseph suddenly realized. //And maybe that's exactly what I need, to be in control.//

 

Remy wanted him to take charge, to be the top in their relationship and now that he was thinking about it he realized that Rogue had assumed that role when they'd still been together. Maybe that was why Rogue and he hadn't worked out.

 

His fingers tangled in the silken locks and he listened to Remy's breathing, which was steady and comforting. The Cajun's head rested on Joseph's chest and rose whenever he drew a breath. Remy's arms were tightly wrapped around Joseph's waist and he smiled. "This feels right, sexy," he whispered privately. Remy stirred, moved even closer and draped one leg possessively over Joseph's thighs.

 

Looking about, Joseph tried to memorize the room. He would love to move in and keep Remy company, but he knew that his lover wanted to go back to the boathouse as quickly as possible and he couldn't blame him for feeling that way. The X-Men had hurt Remy tremendously during these last few weeks.

 

"I'm sorry, Remy. I didn't know how much you were hurting." Joseph sighed deeply as some of Remy's contentment flowed into his mind. Remy was soundly asleep and having a pleasant dream, judging from the way the Cajun was rubbing his body against Joseph's. "I can't believe how much I love to touch you, Remy. I've never felt this way before."

 

He was even starting to wonder whether Rogue and he had *really* been in love. And how much experience did Rogue have, considering she couldn't touch someone without hurting her partner? What did Rogue know about making a relationship work? Maybe even less than he did.

 

//But when she was with Remy things didn't work either,// that little voice in his head reminded him. Rogue had told him that Remy was secretive and manipulative and couldn't be trusted. //Why does that description fit Rogue exactly?//

 

Being with Remy had turned his world upside down. He'd always enjoyed having sex with Rogue, but being with Remy was a revelation. The passion, the surrender, the abandon with which Remy reacted was quickly becoming an addiction. He craved feeling the Cajun's body, his pleasure and eventually Remy's orgasm in his mind. The animalistic lust that sometimes simmered in those red eyes made him want to bury himself inside Remy and never let go again. So why was he keeping back?

 

Because he had no idea what he was doing. He'd never thought he could grow attracted to a man. Yes, he knew what he was supposed to do when fully making love to Remy, but the Cajun had been so damn tight when he'd pushed his finger inside! No way would his cock fit and the last thing he wanted was to hurt his lover.

 

//But he wants to be taken, wants to feel me inside,// Joseph thought, confused and he couldn't help thinking back to when he'd found Remy in the black room, marked by Steve. The Cajun had been bleeding and had felt sore. He wouldn't hurt Remy in that way, even if his lover wanted him to!

 

Remy stirred slightly and Joseph quickly returned to fingering the auburn locks. He cocked his head to catch a glance of his lover's face and saw that Remy was smiling against his chest. He'd never really liked sleeping in the nude, but Remy had quickly changed his mind. As he held the Cajun in his arms, he wondered about his lover. Only a few days ago Remy had gone to the nightclub and had allowed Steve to hurt him profoundly because the Cajun had wanted to be punished for his so called crimes. //I can't believe he was that desperate.// But the scars on Remy's body reminded him that it had really happened.

 

Joseph switched off the little lamp on the nightstand and settled in for the night. Remy snuggled a little closer and Joseph held him tight.

 

///

 

Joseph woke later that night because Remy was tossing and turning beside him. He sat upright and tried to determine what was wrong with his lover. Remy's eyes were closed and he now started to thrash violently. Immediately Joseph reached out, trying to calm the Cajun down.

 

"Remy? You're having a nightmare. Please wake up?" He tried to wrap his arms around Remy, but his lover jerked away from him, increasing the distance between them. Confused, Joseph tried to decipher the words Remy was whispering.

 

Remy struggled into an upright position and pleadingly extended his hands. "Father? Can't you stay a little longer? I made a drawing and even memorized a poem to recite to you. I want you to be proud of me, please don't go yet?"

 

Joseph's eyes grew big as he realized that Remy's accent had vanished and he even detected some sort of British accent. Worried, Joseph tried to wake Remy by talking softly to his lover. He didn't want to startle Remy awake. "Remy? It's a nightmare. Open your eyes. You need to wake up." Sighing, he realized that he wasn't getting through to Remy. Feeling helpless, he decided to stay close to Remy and wait for the nightmare to pass.

 

"It's been days since I last saw you. I feel lonely, father. Please stay a little longer. I don't want to be alone all day and you're never here during the night either. I want to tell you so many things. I've been reading books and..." Remy's voice trailed off and he flinched violently. "Please don't go, father..." A crestfallen expression shone from his melancholy eyes and he began to rock slowly back and forth after wrapping his arms around his waist.

 

Joseph felt truly powerless by now. "Remy, listen to my voice. Concentrate on my feelings. I can pull you back, no matter where you are." Cautiously, he rested his right hand on Remy's arm and squeezed gently. "You're not alone, Remy."

 

"Andy? You're back! Where have you been? I grew worried after father dragged you out of the room some weeks ago. I missed you!"

 

Joseph wasn't prepared to catch Remy when the Cajun suddenly threw himself at him. "Hey, I've got you. You're safe, Remy." Joseph wondered who this Andy was and suddenly doubted that Remy was having a nightmare. This felt... real... like Remy was reliving something from his past. Joseph's mind raced. Remy had never told him where he'd lived the first five years of his life. Was his lover having some sort of flashback? Frustrated, he wished he knew how to calm Remy down!

 

"Are you all right, Andy? No, I won't tell father that you're back. I'm so glad to see you! I was scared, you know!" Remy cocked his head, as if he were listening to Andy's answer. "I heard you scream when father dragged you downstairs. You shouldn't come here; it's too dangerous for you!"

 

Joseph did the only thing he could do, tighten the embrace and rock his lover. "We're both safe, Remy. Your father won't find us."

 

"He left, father left... I don't know when he'll be back. You should go hide, Andy." Remy hugged Joseph close under the impression that he was holding onto Andy.

 

"Remy, why don't we try to get some sleep?" Joseph suggested, hoping Remy would calm down. "You can cuddle up to me." Soothingly, he stroked Remy's back. "Everything's fine, Remy." His words had the desired effect and Remy calmed down. Joseph rolled Remy onto his side so he could monitor his lover's face. Holding him tight, he continued to soothingly stroke Remy's back and hair. "It's okay, Remy. You can go back to sleep."

 

"You'll stay, Andy, won't you?" Remy snuggled closer and curled up beside Joseph. "I always feel so alone... no one to talk to... I don't want to be alone all the time."

 

"You're not alone," Joseph assured him. "I'll stay with you, watch over you." Joseph's heart thundered, remembering the naked terror in Remy's eyes when he'd been pleading with his father. Puzzled, Joseph kept a close eye on Remy while trying to find the answers to his questions.

 

//Assuming that he didn't just have a nightmare, but relived something from his childhood, I'd say that his father scared the hell out of him and was never there for Remy. And who's this Andy? Remy feels obviously safe and comfortable when Andy is close. Does Remy have a brother?//

 

Remy was soundly asleep again and the Cajun's fingers clawed the sheets. "Shst, I'm here, Remy. You're not alone." Remy's nightmare had shocked him and his heart only slowly calmed down. It was obvious that he wasn't going to get any answers tonight, not now that Remy was asleep again and did he dare to address the nightmare in the morning?

 

//Maybe it was just a nightmare after all,// he thought, trying to reassure himself.

 

//But what if it was more than a nightmare? What if it was some sort of flashback?// that irritating voice asked.

 

//I don't know how to deal with that!// He tried hard not to panic. //Remy never told me about his father or this Andy... Should I ask him when he wakes up? What if  he never remembers having had that nightmare?// Panicking, Joseph gazed at Remy, who was asleep again. This time, his dreams seemed to be of a peaceful nature, but Joseph couldn't help feeling apprehensive.

 

Finally, after long hours, Joseph fell asleep as well.

 

///

 

When Remy woke early the next morning he felt absolutely miserable. He vividly remembered the nightmare that had tormented him during the night and he hoped fervently that he hadn't woken Joseph in the process. Keeping his eyes closed a little longer, he prayed that Joseph didn't know about the nightmare.

 

"Remy? Are you awake yet?" Joseph's right hand gently cupped his lover's chin in its palm. "I know you're awake."

 

Sighing, Remy opened his eyes and Joseph's concern washed over him. //Merde! He knows 'bout de nightmare, sacre!// Cursing privately, he felt how the depression, which he'd thought defeated, returned.

 

He didn't want to talk to Joseph and pulled up the sheets to hide beneath. Turning away from Joseph, Remy heard his lover sigh. He didn't want to shut Joseph out like this, but it was the safest thing to do. His lover would leave him the moment Joseph learned his dark secret.

 

"Remy, why are you hiding beneath the sheets?" Joseph realized that he had to handle this carefully. //I need to re-establish the close contact between us,// he decided. He lifted the sheets and slid down to spoon behind his lover. Determinedly, he wrapped his arms around Remy's body, holding him tight. "You can't run away from me, Remy. I'll follow you wherever you go. You'd better accept that I'm here to stay."

 

Remy shivered at hearing Joseph's resolved tone and knew that his lover wouldn't let him retreat further into his mind. But he couldn't speak, couldn't acknowledge Joseph's presence.

 

"Remy? Do you hear me?" Worried, Joseph nuzzled the back of Remy's neck. "Please, Remy, let me in. I can only help if you take down the walls. You're scared, why?" Some of Remy's fear tingled in his head, as the empath's feelings leaked into his mind. "You were there for me when I learned that I was a clone, now let me do the same thing for you."

 

But Remy couldn't acknowledge those words, couldn't accept Joseph's offer to support him. He had to deal with his dark past alone, no one could help him. //Can' ever reveal my secret!// He knew that Joseph meant well and Remy sensed empathically that his lover's desire to help was sincere, but he couldn't accept the offer.

 

Growing desperate, Joseph gently stroked Remy's arms and massaged the tense shoulders. "I can't force you to talk to me, Remy, but please reconsider. I need you as much as you need me."

 

Remy pinched his eyes shut, trying to lock out Joseph's voice. //Can' ever tell y', cher...//

 

A loud knock on the door startled them both. Remy immediately tried to pull away from Joseph, not wanting to embarrass his lover by being found in bed with him naked. A part of him realized that he wasn't acting rationally, but Remy felt powerless to stop his action.

 

Joseph sighed, realizing it would take time and a lot of coaxing and reassurance to make Remy open up. He wished their visitor would go away.

 

"Joseph? We need to talk... urgently," Hank said and waited for Joseph or Remy to open the door. He'd spent last night studying the test results and had to talk to Joseph right now. This couldn't wait!

 

"Yes, just give me a moment to get dressed!" Joseph hated pulling away from Remy and leaving his lover alone in the comfortable bed, but he realized that McCoy might have important news.

 

"Try to rest?" Joseph whispered as he tucked Remy in. He brushed his lover's brow with his lips, quickly planting a kiss there. "But we *will* talk later!" Remy didn't react and Joseph wondered what it would take to draw Remy back this time.

 

Quickly, he slipped into his jeans and a clean shirt and then walked to the door. After opening it, he wondered whether he should step outside into the corridor so Remy could get some rest, but in the end he decided against it. He wanted to keep a close eye on the Cajun.

 

"Joseph, we need to discuss the test results," Hank said and grew quiet when he caught sight of Remy, tucked away in bed. The blank stare was back, but McCoy could tell that Remy's mind hadn't retreated yet. Hank sighed, informing Joseph of his findings would be hard.

 

"I'm listening," Joseph assured Hank as he sat down on the side of the bed. His hand found Remy's beneath the sheets and he curled his fingers around it.

 

"I wish I were the bearer of better news," Hank started and gave Joseph an apologetic look.

 

"What did you find?" Joseph asked, as he rubbed Remy's icy fingers.

 

"I found an alien device which has been implanted in to your cerebral cortex and brain tissue. It's responsible for the pain you suffer. It controls all nerves ends and..."

 

"Can you surgically remove it?" Joseph held onto Remy's hand for moral support, wishing Remy hadn't chosen this moment to retreat back into his shell.

 

Remy held his breath. The unease and concern that rolled off Hank made him queasy. Supportively, he squeezed Joseph's hand, letting his lover know that he didn't have to do this on his own.

 

Feeling thankful, Joseph gazed into Remy's eyes. "Thanks for coming back."

 

Remy remained silent. He wanted to be there for Joseph, but his own pain tormented him at the same time. He didn't know how much of his strength he could lend Joseph.

 

Joseph focused again on McCoy. He read the answer to his question in the scientist's eyes. "You can't remove it."

 

"You wouldn't survive surgery." Hank began to pace slowly. "You would most probably die on the operating table or be comatose for the rest of your life. If you did wake up you'd be paralyzed..." Hank felt like he'd failed his friends, but there was nothing he could do for Joseph. "I'm so sorry, my friend."

 

"It's not your fault," Joseph said softly and felt Remy rise behind him. The Cajun kneeled on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. Remy didn't seem inhibited by Hank's presence and was freely expressing his love and affection and Joseph needed the reassurance that Remy would stick in there with him. For some reason he'd expected the Cajun to dump him.

 

Hank didn't know what to add. "I can run more tests," he offered. "Maybe we'll find a way to..." But Joseph cut him short.

 

"Thanks for trying," Joseph stated resolved. "But it looks like it's something I'll have to live with." Living with the constant threat of Astra torturing him would be hard on him and he wasn't sure how to ever master that.

 

"Please let me know if there's something I can do to help," Hank offered sincerely and only now he noticed that Remy was naked. The sheets had slipped down and did little to cover the Cajun's body. Hank smiled. He was glad that his friends had found happiness and safety in each other's arms.

 

"We will," Joseph assured McCoy, wishing the scientist would leave them alone now. Remy and he needed to discuss so many things!

 

Hank realized that the two men wanted some privacy and left the room. He felt truly sorry that he hadn't been able to help. Lost in thought, he bumped into Scott on the staircase.

 

Scott saw the concerned expression in his friend's eyes and asked, "I take it that Joseph's test results are in?"

 

Saddened, Hank nodded his head. "I can't help Joseph. Surgery would result in his death."

 

Scott swallowed hard at hearing the bad news. "What do we do now?" As team leader he felt responsible for each member.

 

"We must protect Joseph the only way we can, by staying close." Hank rubbed the bridge of his nose. All these years of research and study and there was nothing he could do to help his teammate. It made him wonder why he'd locked himself up in his lab all these years.

 

"Do you think Remy and Joseph will stay at the mansion?" Scott abandoned his original destination and fell into step beside Hank.

 

"I doubt it," Hank said thoughtfully. "I just visited them and Remy seemed to be suffering from a setback. He seemed very depressed and passive... until I told Joseph that I couldn't surgically remove the alien object; then Remy rose to the challenge and comforted him."

 

"How do you feel about them being a couple?" Scott inquired curiously.

 

"Joseph seems very happy and Remy needs someone to love him," Hank concluded. "I think they'll work out."

 

"What about Rogue?" Scott walked Hank to his lab and tried to organize his thoughts.

 

"She'll have to come to terms with them being lovers," Hank said softly. "Of course she feels betrayed, but this also offers her a chance to grow spiritually. It's up to her to either accept or decline the challenge."

 

"Let's hope she accepts it, or things might get ugly around here."

 

"What about Warren? Will he cause problems now that Remy's back at the mansion?" Hank entered his lab and sat down in front of the computer."You will have to lay down some ground rules where Ororo and Warren are concerned," he warned Scott.

 

"I think I'm going to talk to Remy and Joseph first."

 

"Are you going to convince them to stay at the mansion?" Hank asked in a hopeful tone.

 

"I'll do my best," Scott promised. "Let's hope they'll agree with me."

 

///

 

"Remy?" Joseph leaned back and relished feeling his lover's arms around him. They hadn't moved since Hank had left. "We'll be on the run for the rest of our lives."

 

"We'll find a way to deal wit' it," Remy said determinedly and then his strength left him. He'd pulled himself together to support Joseph, but now he was falling apart again. He released Joseph and lay down on his left side, facing away from his lover and curled up in a fetal position.

 

"Remy?" Joseph crawled over to his lover and sat down beside him. He was facing Remy and saw the unshed tears in the red on black eyes.

 

"Y' should leave me, cher. Y' ve got 'nough problems wit'out havin' to deal wit' mine!"

 

"We need to talk about the nightmare," Joseph said cautiously.

 

"Don' wanna talk," Remy stated and closed his eyes, shutting Joseph out again.

 

"Do you know what the nightmare was about?" Joseph carefully rested his hand on Remy's head and allowed his fingers to tangle in his lover's hair. He prayed that Remy would trust him enough to discuss this. "Remy?"

 

"I said I don' wanna talk 'bout it!" Remy stated vehemently and rolled onto his other side, turning away from Joseph. "Leave me 'lone!"

 

"What's gotten you so scared that you're pushing me away?" Joseph stared at Remy's back, saw the tremors and realized that his lover had started to sob. "You can talk to me, Remy, I'll listen."

 

"Don' y' understand?" Remy hissed through clenched teeth. "I can' talk 'bout it!"

 

"What's 'it'?" Joseph moved a little closer and sat down. He leaned against the headboard and pulled Remy's head onto his lap. Remy's defenses always weakened when they were in close physical contact.

 

Remy clenched his lips shut; he would never tell Joseph his secret! Never! He didn't want Joseph to dump him. "Let it go," Remy warned Joseph. "I ain' talkin' 'bout it."

 

"Remy, we need to trust each other, especially now that we've got to face the possibility that Astra will hunt me down for the rest of my life. There can't be any secrets between us."

 

//Here it comes,// Remy thought sarcastically. //Now he's goin' to tell me dat Rogue was right, that I really am a secretive and manipulative bastard!// Remy held onto the sheets and wished the earth would open and swallow him.

 

Joseph stroked Remy's back with long, soothing strokes, but didn't know what to do to make Remy open up. "Remy, I need you."

 

Remy swallowed hard and unexpectedly he said, "I'm sorry dat Henri can' remove de alien object in y'r brain."

 

"I should have known better than to hope for a solution," Joseph said, feeling miserable himself. "Remy, I'll understand if you don't want to be with me any longer. Astra will try to get back at you for helping me."

 

"Are y' dumpin' me?" Remy asked in a tiny tone. He'd known that having Joseph for a lover was too good to be true.

 

"No, never!" Joseph stated determinedly and sought out Remy's hand to place a reverent kiss on it.

 

Remy felt slightly reassured, mostly because his empathy picked up on Joseph's honesty. It reassured him that his lover had no desire to let him go.

 

"You need to take the Zoloft, Remy," Joseph said and picked up the vial. He poured Remy a glass of water and offered the glass and the medication to his lover. "Swallow it."

 

"I really don' wanna take it, cher. Y' can see dat de meds don' work." Remy stared at the pill in the palm of Joseph's hand. "Won' take it."

 

"Remy," Joseph said sharply. "You *will* take your meds."

 

"Non," Remy replied firmly and tried to pull the sheets over his head, wanting to hide again.

 

"Oh, no, you *will* listen to me!" Joseph grabbed Remy's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. "I won't leave you alone until you take your medication. I won't let you hide and feel miserable. If necessary we'll sit here like this all day. Now take the Zoloft!" Joseph was losing his patience. Hank had just told him that Astra would always have a hold on him and now that Remy was objecting to taking the meds, he'd reached his limits. 

 

Tears swam in Remy's eyes, as he felt the tension explode within his lover's mind. "Sorry, cher, don' wanna be dis difficult, mais de meds ain' helpin'! Look at me!"

 

"Remy, you've only been taking your medication for a few days. Give it time." Joseph released Remy's shoulders and took hold of the glass and pill, which he had placed on the nightstand before grabbing Remy's shoulders. "Swallow the pill."

 

Remy felt miserable, but obeyed. After emptying the glass he handed it back to Joseph. "Wanna be strong for y', mais... can' help m'self."

 

"I know that, Remy and I understand that you're seriously depressed. I owe you an apology," Joseph whispered, averting his eyes. "I shouldn't have forced you to take your meds, but... when you retreat like that you scare the hell out of me!" He raised Remy's head by placing his hand beneath his lover's chin and they gazed into each other's eyes. "I love you. That's why I'm acting like a bully."

 

Remy let Joseph's concern and love wash over him. "Sorry," he whispered miserably. "Y' just heard dat de object Astra implanted in y'r brain can' be removed and I decide to feel sorry for m'self. Doesn' seem fair."

 

"Don't worry about it," Joseph assured his lover. "But we need to figure out what to do next." Joseph caressed Remy's cheek and the Cajun cocked his head, leaning into the caress. "Astra won't leave us alone, and as long as she can control me with pain I'm defenseless."

 

Remy forced himself not to give in to the gloomy darkness that threatened to consume him, but to consider their problems instead. //I know someone who can help y'...// but did he dare make the suggestion?

 

"Remy?" Joseph's hand disappeared into his lover's dark locks to finger them.

 

"Mebbe y' should ask anot'er scientist to examine y'?" Remy started carefully, "Like gettin' a second opinion?"

 

"Whom could I ask? Doctor McCoy is the best!" Joseph shook his head. "I don't know anyone else." Reed Richard's name crossed his mind, but he dismissed it again. If Hank couldn't help him, no one could. He was sure that McCoy had studied every angle to his problem and Richards would come to the same conclusion; that it was inoperable.

 

Remy licked his lips, taking one of the greatest risks in his life. The little voice in the back of his head told him that he was about to make a major mistake, but he plunged ahead nonetheless. "Know someone who might be able to help y', cher."

 

Joseph caught Remy's gaze with his eyes. "And who would that be?"

 

Remy buried his hands in the sheets, desperately clawing the fabric. "Sinister," he mumbled, barely audible.

 

Joseph pushed Remy away from him and glared at him. "I can't believe you said that! The bastard used you to slaughter the Morlocks and now you suggest that I go to him for help? Did you lose your mind?"

 

Remy flinched visibly and bit his lower lip. //Should have listened to dat little voice...// But it was too late now, he'd made the first step, he'd better follow up now. "Sinister's a scientist. He helped me when my powers were out of control. He removed cells from my brain stem so I wouldn' blow m'self up!" he blurted out. Tears ran down his face. "Why do y' t'ink I agreed to gat'er de Marauders? I owed him!"

 

Joseph swallowed hard. Shocked, he stared hard at Remy. He was still trying to process everything that Remy had just told him. "You allowed Sinister to operate on you?"

 

"I didn' have a choice, Joe!" Remy sobbed. "Was scared dat I'd blow up innocent people. Didn' care 'bout m'self. Sure, I wanted to live mais..." Unable to finish, he continued to sob. Joseph was no longer holding him and he reckoned he'd lost his lover for good. Joseph wouldn't want him any more.

 

"Remy, I can understand that you needed help to control your powers," Joseph said thoughtfully, still not touching the Cajun. "But why ask Sinister for help?"

 

"No one else could help me! Don' y' t'ink I asked all dem scientists dat prided demselves on treatin' mutants who needed help? Dey told me dat surgery was too risky, dat I might end up comatose or paralyzed, like Henri told y' just now! Dat was why I t'ought of Sinister!" Remy had exhausted himself by defending his former actions and now grew silent. "Just get out of de room, Joe. I wanna be 'lone."

 

Joseph got to his feet and studied the Cajun. Remy's eyes were closed and his lover shook all over his body. "I don't want to leave you alone. Not when you're feeling like this." What the hell was going on? Why were they fighting?

 

"Remy?" Determinedly, Joseph walked over to Remy's side of the bed and sat on his heels. "I'm sorry I reacted like that, but the thought of Sinister having you on his operating table makes me feel..."

 

"Disgusted?" Remy supplied and suddenly locked eyes with his lover. The red irises burned. "Want me to remind y' dat he also brought me back from de dead wit'out my consent? Do y' know how it feels, knowin' dat Sinister resuscitated me? I didn' want him to bring me back!"

 

Joseph decided that it was time to stop arguing about the past. "Remy, you're alive, you're here... that's all that matters." Carefully, Joseph sat down on the side of the bed and offered Remy his hand. "Please let me hold you? I'm sorry that I overreacted." 

 

Remy gazed into Joseph's eyes for a long time. His lover's feelings tugged at his mind, urging him to cover the emotional and physical distance between them. //Josep' still wants me,// he realized, confused. "Cher... je t'aime, y' know dat... sorry I made dat suggestion."

 

"You were just trying to help." Joseph released the breath he'd been holding when Remy finally accepted his hand. Joseph didn't waste any time and pulled Remy close. "We'll deal with this together." But he still felt shocked, knowing that Sinister had operated on Remy. That surgery might have saved the Cajun's life, but in return Remy had been forced to gather the Marauders. "You never had a choice..."

 

"Huh? Cher? What?" Remy rested against Joseph's chest, soaking up his lover's acceptance and love. Joseph's warm feelings had distracted him and Remy hadn't been listening.

 

"Sinister, he was the only one who could help you. You had to trust him or else you would have died."

 

"Oui," Remy whispered. Tremors shook his voice. "I didn' wanna ask him for help. I knew he was trouble, mais... I was young and didn' want to die."

 

"You're still young," Joseph replied and rocked Remy in his arms. Relieved, he noticed that Remy had calmed down. "Did you ever consider that Sinister might have set you up?" Joseph felt the shivers that coursed through his lover's body.

 

"Why do y' say dat?"

 

"Sinister forced you to gather the Marauders and then they slaughtered the Morlocks..." Joseph paused briefly. "I bet he could have gathered the Marauders himself. Why would he need your help?"

 

"Cher, don' go dere, please."

 

The desperate tone in Remy's voice took him aback and he realized that there was more to this story than Remy wanted him to know. He would let go for now, but vowed that he would make Remy tell him the whole truth one day.

 

Part 10

 

Joseph kept a close eye on Remy, as he didn't like the return of his lover's apathy. "Why don't you take a long shower, Remy?" he suggested. "Maybe it'll make you feel better."

 

Remy doubted taking a shower would help, but complied and walked into the adjoining bathroom. Slowly, he stripped and avoided looking at himself in the mirror. He simply couldn't face his reflection this morning.

 

He released a choked sigh as the warm water cascaded down his body. Maybe Joseph was right about taking a shower, he did feel better, but just a little. Bowing his head, he let the water drip down his body. "Y' fucked up 'gain, Remy," he whispered, knowing that the sound of the shower would smother his words. Joseph wouldn't hear him.

 

"What de hell possessed y' to mention... *him*? Why mention..." Remy was unable to speak the name, as a terrible pain cut through his heart. Trying to comfort himself, he wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned against the cold, wet cabin wall. Slowly, he slid down until he sat on the floor. Water crashed down all around him and he pulled up his knees, trying to make himself as small as possible.

 

Sobbing softly, he tried to lock out the painful memories, but they persisted, demanding to be acknowledged. 

 

///

 

# What the fuck! Suddenly, I'm gasping for breath. My eyes hurt and I keep them tightly shut. When I was little I learned the hard way how sensitive my eyes are. Bright light hurts like hell.

 

Feeling confused, I try to recall what happened. I was inside Eric the Red's fortress and Rogue had left me to fend for myself on the ice. Yeah, like I could survive there on my own! She knew that I was going to die in the fortress.

 

For days I searched the fortress, trying to find food and water, but I came up empty every time. In the end, I went outside and stuffed some snow into my mouth. The thirst was unbearable.  But the snow made me sick and I began to throw up. I felt miserable and decided to retreat into one of the inner chambers where it wasn't that cold.

 

I remember sitting down and rubbing my arms and legs to get warm. I couldn't let the cold win. I had to fight, but... what did I have left to fight for? Rogue had deserted me...

 

//She betrayed you,// that irritating little voice stated determinedly and I couldn't keep my tears back any longer. However, they froze before reaching my chin. Right there and then I realized that I was going to die.

 

I died... I remember dying. It sounds odd, but it was just like going to sleep. My eyelids closed and I gave up, I finally surrendered to the nothingness. I was no longer afraid to die. Death would bring the oblivion I craved so badly. I would finally find the peace I had been looking for my entire life.

 

"Remy?"

 

The voice jolts me fully awake and my eyes flash open. Thankfully, the light isn't too bright, but I wish I wasn't able to make out the form hovering above me. I never wanted to see him again and now he's here, and his hand rests on my brow. I hate it when he touches me.

 

"Good, you're fully conscious again." Sinister remarks, pleased.

 

I shiver and then the enormity of what Sinister has done hits me. I died inside the fortress and now I'm alive again! "Y' brought me back!" My throat aches badly, but I refuse to give in to the pain. "Why couldn' y' let me die?" I sob the words. Emotionally, I can't handle having him this close, not after everything he's done to me!

 

"Remy, calm yourself."

 

Sinister checks my readings and obviously feels pleased, as he nods his head. Staring into his eyes, I exclaim, "I don' wanna be calm! I died and y' brought me back! Why? I mean not'in' to y'. Why can' y' stay out of my life?" My body is exhausted and my mind can't deal with being brought back from the dead. "Why can' y' leave me 'lone?"

 

"You know why, Remy," Sinister says in a gentle tone.

 

His fingers rub my brow and I try to shake them off.

 

"Had I found you one hour later I wouldn't have been able to resuscitate you." 

 

"I just want y' to leave me 'lone! I ain' stayin' here," I add nervously. "The moment I'm able to walk I'm out of here."

 

"Don't make any hasty decisions, Remy. Rest first and then we'll discuss your future." Sinister takes hold of a syringe, lets the air escape and inserts its tip into the IV.

 

I watch helplessly as the dark liquid is pumped into my veins. I try to move, to get up, but my body is paralyzed. "I ain' stayin' here," I repeat my earlier statement, hoping to get through to him.

 

"We'll see about that, Remy, now sleep."

 

Sinister takes a step back and watches me until my eyes finally close due to exhaustion. I know that Sinister will never leave me alone. I almost escaped him in death, now I'm his prisoner in life.

 

///

 

"Remy!" Joseph rushed inside and opened the cabin door. On the floor, beneath a spray of ice cold water was Remy, curled into a small ball. "Remy, what are you doing?" Concerned, he turned off the water and grabbed a pair of towels, which he quickly wrapped around Remy's shivering form.

 

"You're cold, Remy. Why didn't you turn off the water?" The blank stare that met his eyes made him flinch. "Remy? Are you still with me? Can you hear me?" The fear and pain that crept into his mind were Remy's and Joseph shuddered, feeling its intensity. "Come on, I'll get you warm again!"

 

Joseph made sure that Remy lay comfortably in his arms and carried his lover to the bed. He'd changed the sheets while Remy had been in the shower and now folded the comforter around his lover's cold body. "Remy? Talk to me?" He could still see the sparkle of life in Remy's eyes that told him his lover hadn't retreated into his protective shell yet. Encouraged, Joseph rubbed Remy's arms and legs, trying to stimulate the blood circulation. "What's going on?"

 

"Was t'inkin' 'bout my mistakes, cher," Remy offered. It felt so damn good to be in Joseph's arms again after reliving that terrible moment of waking up in Sinister's lab.

 

"Stop being this hard on yourself, Remy," Joseph said pleadingly and enfolded Remy's body in his arms. Thankfully, his lover began to feel warm again. "You've got to focus on our future!"

 

//What future, cher? Astra will hunt us down!// Remy thought privately. "Je t'aime," he whispered instead. Joseph brushed his lips and Remy clung to him for support. "What's wrong wit' me?"

 

"You died and you had to deal with that on your own." Joseph licked his lips. "You're depressed, but you'll get better. I promise."

 

//Don' make promises y' can' keep!// Remy relaxed in Joseph's arms, wishing his lover had the power to keep his nemesis away. "Cher? I wanna go for a walk... 'lone."

 

Joseph gave him a concerned look. "Are you sure? I'd love to accompany you."

 

"I need to be 'lone for a lil' while," Remy clarified. He really needed some personal time and space to find a way to deal with the flashback he'd just had. //And I had one last night too!// Why was he having them now?

 

"Where will you be heading?" Joseph asked. He wanted to know where he could find Remy in case of an emergency.

 

"De lake," Remy whispered. "Please don' follow me? I promise not to do anyt'in' stupid."

 

Joseph tensed. "You've been thinking about hurting yourself, otherwise you wouldn't feel the need to make me that promise, Remy! When I find one scratch or one drop of blood on your body, you're in trouble, sexy."

 

Hearing that pet name, Remy almost burst out in to tears. //Merde! I don' wanna be dis emotional!// "Y' sure y' wanna headcase for a boyfriend?" he teased, but was scared to hear the answer nonetheless. At some point Joseph had to grow tired of his constant whining and self pity.

 

"Yes, I'm sure," Joseph assured his lover and placed a passionate kiss on Remy's lush lips. "Don't get into trouble, you hear me?" He didn't like the fact that Remy wanted to go for a walk alone, but he wouldn't stop him. He couldn't take away his lover's personal freedom. All he could do was hope that Astra wouldn't make her move while Remy was alone. Well, Scott had told him that security had been upgraded so Remy should be safe out there.

 

"I'm goin' to get dressed, cher. I promise to be back shortly."

 

Reluctantly, Joseph released Remy and watched his lover slip into his clothes. "Be careful out there."

 

"Don' worry, cher. I'm... *was* an X-Man. I know how to defend m'self." Remy had slipped into his jeans and shirt and was now putting on his socks and boots. After gathering his coat, Remy headed for the doorway. "Gimme an hour?"

 

"*One* hour. If you're not home by then I'll come looking for you," Joseph said determinedly.

 

Remy nodded his head and opened the door. "I'll be back in one hour," he promised and fled the room.

 

Puzzled, Joseph watched him run down the stairs and out of the mansion.

 

///

 

Scott knocked on the door to Remy's room and asked, "Joseph? Can we talk?"

 

Joseph had been pacing the room since Remy had left and felt thankful for the distraction that Scott provided. "Yes, you can come inside."

 

Scott entered the room and closely examined Joseph's eyes. He'd seen Remy leave the mansion earlier, but didn't want to pry. However, it was obvious that Joseph was worried, as his grey eyes were heavily clouded. Scott decided not to question Joseph about Remy and focused on his job as team leader instead. "Hank told me that surgery isn't an option."

 

Joseph nodded his head. "Doctor McCoy is a good man; he did his best to help..."

 

Scott took a step closer towards Joseph. His tone was firm when he said, "I want Remy and you to stay at the mansion. At least that way we can protect you when Astra makes her move. I don't know the extent of her powers, and although I secured the premises, she might find a way inside."

 

"I appreciate your concern," Joseph said slowly, thinking everything over. "But I've got to consider what's best for Remy and right now, he can't deal with having the others close."

 

"That's another reason why I want to talk to you. I want to lay down some ground rules to make sure that Warren, Rogue and Storm behave when Remy's close."

 

"You forget one thing," Joseph remarked. "Remy's an empath and you can't control what they're feeling. Their negative emotions will add to Remy's depression."

 

"No, I didn't forget about that," Scott said determinedly. "The professor made sure that every X-Man has shields that will keep out a telepath. Those shields can also lock out an empath. By blocking their feelings Remy wouldn't be exposed to them."

 

"They didn't use their shields when Remy still lived here?" Joseph asked, curiously.

 

"We didn't know that Remy was an empath, but now I'm going to demand they use their shields as long as Remy's here," Scott stated firmly.

 

"What if they refuse?"

 

"Then the professor will deal with them," Scott informed Joseph. "I discussed this with the professor and he agreed."

 

"I want to be present when you talk to them." Joseph turned away from Scott and looked out over the garden. Where was Remy? Ah, yes, his lover had told him that he was going to the lake. What a pity that he couldn't see it from here.

 

"Let's do this now," Scott said decisively. "Are you coming along? We'll talk to Storm first."

 

Joseph nodded once and followed Scott into the corridor. He'd make damn sure that no one ever hurt Remy again!

 

///

 

Storm had agreed to keep up her shields whenever Remy was close and encouraged, they now posed the same question to Rogue. Scott had been doing all the talking so far and Joseph was comfortable with that. He didn't know the other team members that well anyway.

 

"Rogue, will you agree to use your shields when Remy's close?" Scott asked in an authoritative tone. "You know that Joseph and Remy can't stay at the boathouse. That would leave them wide open for Astra; they've got to stay here."

 

"Ah never knew that he's an empath," Rogue said thoughtfully. The way Remy had tapped into Joseph's pain during Astra's attack had puzzled her, but she'd never thought that the Cajun could be an empath, and a strong one at that! //Another secret he kept from me!//

 

"You helped us fight Astra," Joseph said, trying to convince Rogue. "Please, all I'm asking is that you keep up your shields. Remy has suffered enough."

 

Rogue maintained eye contact with Joseph while answering him. "Ah've been thinkin', Joe."

 

"What about?" Joseph fought the urge to hold his breath. They really needed her co-operation!

 

"About us, Joe." Rogue watched his reaction carefully. "Yeah, Ah know that there ain't an us any longer and Ah have a hard time dealin' with that."

 

Both Scott and Joseph held their breaths. This could so easily go wrong!

 

"Ah know that yuh don't want me no more, Joe, and that hurts, but Ah've got to be strong and deal with that." Rogue drew in a deep breath. "Ah've been thinkin' about the things Ah said after findin' out that yuh and Remy were together and... Ah acted like a brat." Pleadingly, Rogue looked into Joseph's eyes. "Ah acted like that because yuh hurt my feelings."

 

"I'm truly sorry," was all Joseph could offer.

 

"Ah know that," Rogue sighed. "Ah will give swamp rat and yuh a chance. Ah'll use my shields."

 

"Thanks, Rogue!" Scott said, grateful that she would co-operate. Looking at Joseph, Scott said, "That leaves Warren."

 

"Yuh won't convince Wings that easily," Rogue warned them. "Warren's really, *really* mad at swamp rat."

 

"He’d better behave or he'll deal with me!" Joseph stated determinedly and locked eyes with Rogue again. "I mean it, Rogue, thanks for giving us that chance."

 

Rogue turned away from them and stared out of the window. She didn't want Joseph to see her crying.

 

 ///

 

Warren never expected their visit, but allowed them in. Defensively, he placed his hands on his hips and watched them closely. He didn't like it one bit that Scott was befriending Joseph. "What do you want, Slim?"

 

Scott took a deep breath; Rogue had been right. Warren held a severe grudge against Remy and maybe against Joseph too; they were both outsiders. "I'm here to tell you to keep up your shields when Remy's close."

 

Warren raised a puzzled eyebrow. "Why would I do that? It's not like he's a telepath and can read my mind!" Warren suddenly realized what he'd said. "Please tell me that he isn't a telepath."

 

"Remy is an *empath* and your hate is hurting him!" Joseph stated angrily.

 

"An empath?" Warren licked his lips. "What other secrets is he hiding?"

 

Scott knew Warren well enough to realize that his friend was going to push this conversation to its limits. "If you don't comply, the professor will contact you and ask you to temporarily leave the mansion." Okay, he was bluffing. The professor and he had never agreed to take such drastic measures, but Warren didn't know that.

 

Warren looked stunned, but quickly regained his composure. "You want to let the traitor stay and kick me out instead? Slim, you disappoint me."

 

"Traitor?" Joseph stepped up to Warren and a menacing look flashed across his face. "How did Remy betray you?"

 

"He gathered the Marauders, who are responsible for the loss of my wings!" Warren hissed, angered.

 

Joseph barred his teeth when he grinned. "Why don't you listen to your own words? You said it yourself; *the Marauders* damaged your wings. Remy never touched you!" His rage was building and he fought hard to remain in control of his anger.

 

Shocked at Joseph's audacity, Warren's eyes grew big. "So the rumor is true then? Gambit has found himself a new toy." Warren strode through the room, never taking his eyes off Joseph. "Rogue's one smart lady. First, she finally dumps the traitor and then you. It seems fitting that you two losers end up fucking each other."

 

Scott stepped between them, not wanting this conversation to end in a physical fight. "Warren, you've gone too far. Remy's a team mate and..."

 

"Team mate?" Warren snarled. "He got the Morlocks killed!"

 

Joseph shot Warren an icy glare. "And you call yourself an X-Man?" Seeing Warren's anger in the man's eyes, Joseph knew he had to take action. "You listen to me, and listen carefully," he said, shoving Scott aside and stepping up to Warren's face. "You'll show Remy the same respect you show the other X-Men. I won't put up with you harassing Remy or making condescending remarks. You've hurt Remy in the past; I won't allow it to continue."

 

"Are you threatening me?" Warren whispered, taken aback. He'd seen Joseph's powers and knew what the other mutant was capable of.

 

"It's a warning," Joseph replied. "You'd better heed it and keep those shields up. If you make just one spiteful remark about Remy's love life or his past, you'll pay for it!"

 

"Joseph..." Scott intervened, trying to calm Joseph down. "I think he got the message."

 

"You only get one warning, Worthington. You'd better consider your next move carefully because I'll be watching you!" Enraged, Joseph stormed out of Warren's room and went in search of his lover.

 

"Slim?" Taken aback, Warren looked to Scott for support.

 

"I agree with Joseph, Warren. You've got to stop putting Remy down. We're a team; it's about time we started acting like one." Scott marched out of the room, leaving Warren behind.

 

"What the hell just happened?" Warren whispered, nervously. It was obvious that he had to make a choice; stay, keep his shields up and behave himself, or leave the mansion.

 

///

 

Remy stared out over the lake. Lost in thought, he tried to get a grip on his memories. They were going haywire and he was unable to control them.

 

///

 

# "Open your eyes," Sinister orders determinedly.

 

I obey, unable to stop myself. I'm still trying to accept that I'm alive again and the last thing I need is a pissed off Sinister.

 

"Are you feeling any better?"

 

I frown; wondering why Sinister seems worried. "Oui," I reply, trying to come up with some sort of strategy that will help me deal with him. I can't decipher the look he's giving me, he almost seems concerned. Yeah, right... concerned about *me*?

 

"You've always been an empath," Sinister states in a surprisingly soft tone.

 

"How do y' know dat?" I ask, taken aback. I try to push myself into an upright position, but my exhausted body refuses to obey.

 

A thoughtful expression appears in Sinister's eyes and makes me shiver. Sinister's eyes remind me of my own. I watch Sinister closely as the scientist moves to the foot end of the bed. I sigh, feeling relieved, now that he isn't that close any longer. "What do y' want from me?"

 

"It's been over 150 years since I felt... something," Sinister states and locks eyes with me. "It must be because of your empathy... your death enhanced your abilities."

 

"Y' don'... feel? Y' don' have any feelings?" I ask, surprised that Sinister is volunteering such personal information.

 

"I made a deal with Apocalypse," Sinister explains. "I wanted to conduct my experiments without any moral restraints and he took away my feelings and my conscience. He granted me my wish."

 

"Why are y' tellin' me dis?" I can't help growing concerned. What are his plans for me? Looking about I see that I'm in his lab. I remember waking up here after he performed surgery on me years ago.

 

"Because of your empathy," Sinister starts, "my feelings have returned."

 

I don't know how to react to that so I wait for him to continue.

 

"I owe you an explanation," Sinister says thoughtfully.

 

"What for? For trickin' me in to leadin' de Marauders into de tunnels so dey could kill de Morlocks? Y' never mentioned dat part of y'r plan!" My hands shake and I feel like I can fall apart any moment now.

 

"Remy, do you know who I am?"

 

Looking at Sinister, I feel trapped. "What kinda question is dat?"

 

"Why the accent, Remy? I never taught you to talk like that."

 

I shiver. "What are y' talkin' 'bout, Sinister?"

 

"I taught you to speak the Queen's English, Remy."

 

I stare at him in disbelief. How does he know that I'm not Cajun by birth?

 

"Maybe I should just show you," Sinister says and takes one step closer to the bed.

 

Shivering violently, I watch his body transform. I know that he's a shape shifter, read it in the files, but... I know the face that now stares back at me. "Bâtard," I snarl.

 

"My real name is Nathaniel Essex... I *am* your father, Remy."

 

"Non! It's a lie! Y're playin' games!"

 

"I can prove to you that I'm telling the truth. You were born in London and I delivered you personally. During the first 4 years of your life you lived at King George Street 12 and then we moved to New Orleans. You're my second son. Adam, my first born, died when he was four. I told you about him when you were little."

 

I can't believe this is happening, but every word he has said is true. "Y' can' be my fat'er." I'm in denial, although my heart is telling me that Sinister is speaking the truth.

 

"You're Remy Nathan Essex, born November first at Dulwich hospital, where I was working as a physician. You can't deny the truth, son."

 

"No!" I yelp, as the defenses that I built these last 20 years tumble down. "I'm *not* your son!"

 

"Ah, where's your Cajun accent now, Remy?"

 

Trembling, I avert my eyes and now I know why they resemble Sinister's that much... he's my father... I'm his son. #

 

///

 

Remy finally managed to get a tight hold on his memories. What was going on? Why was his past surfacing now? He'd thought that he'd dealt with most of this stuff.

 

//I dreamed of Andy...// That had shaken him most. Andy had been his only friend when he'd been living with Nathaniel Essex. Andy had been older than him, maybe 9 or 10 and he'd trusted the older boy completely. Essex had never been around and Andy had been the one he'd talked to, played or cried with.

 

Losing Andy had been devastating and he refused to think about finding his friend dead in the basement. //I ain' goin' dere!// he thought, bordering on the edge of hysteria. Why couldn't the past leave him alone? None of what had happened had been his fault; at least he desperately wanted to believe that. He was so lost in thought that he never heard the soft footfalls coming up him.

 

"Remy?"

 

Immediately recognizing that voice, Remy turned around to face Essex. Shivers ran down his spine as he took in his father's appearance; Sinister had morphed into Nathaniel Essex and Remy locked eyes with his father.

 

"Remy? Your thoughts brought me here. We need to talk."

 

"Go away," Remy demanded, his hands turning into fists. "I don't want to talk to you, haven't you figured that out yet?" Remy couldn't help relapsing into his old speech pattern. "Why can't you leave me alone? After you brought me back..." Remy flinched. "I told you to leave me the hell alone after you brought me back! I didn't want you to resuscitate me, don't you get it?"

 

Essex studied Remy closely. "You don't look well."

 

"Why do you care all of a sudden? You should have cared for me 20 years ago, father!" The last word dripped with venom. Remy gathered his coat around him, trying to hold onto the little warmth now that a chilly wind was beginning to blow.

 

"I know I made mistakes," Essex admitted. "But I want to make things up to you."

 

"You can't!" Remy stated vehemently and turned away from his father. "You hurt me too deeply."

 

"Remy," he walked up to Remy, but didn't touch his son. "I didn't know that I was inflicting such pain."

 

"Yeah, you never expected my empathy to backfire on you, did you?"

 

"I never knew it was that strong," Essex admitted honestly. "And you're right; I didn't expect it to manifest that strongly after resuscitating you." Looking at Remy, he tried to find the right words. "When your empathy manifested, it freed the emotions that Apocalypse had locked away. I do love you, son."

 

"You *love* me since exactly 6 weeks ago," Remy stated unconvinced and finally found the courage to confront his father. "Why did you choose this form?" he asked and pointed at his father's appearance. "We both know it's a lie. This is not who you really are, Sinister."

 

"I'm your father, Remy. To you I'm Nathaniel Essex and I chose to appear like this because I know it's less painful for you. I remember the way you reacted when you looked me in the eyes after coming back from the dead."

 

Remy laughed hysterically. "You and Sinister are the same person and you hurt me in both guises! As my father, Nathaniel Essex, you were never there for me! Never! All I had was Andy and you killed him! You killed him in front of me and then you offered to clone me a new companion!"

 

Essex felt uncomfortable. He'd never thought that Remy's newly discovered empathy could awaken fatherly feelings in him. He'd only had those for his first born, Adam, who had died when he'd only been 4. But since he'd brought Remy back, he felt protective of his son and had reconsidered his former actions. Now that he had these feelings again, he knew that he'd wronged Remy, but his son would never accept his apology. "I shouldn't have killed Andy in front of you," he admitted slowly. "But I was furious when I found out that the two of you were making plans to run away from home."

 

"Home? You call that a home?" Remy wrapped his arms around his waist and glared at his father. "You were never there for me! I was always alone! You never told me about my mother! I still don't know who she is! You killed Andy repeatedly and then cloned him again so you had a spy to tell you what I was thinking! You have no respect for human life, father, and you certainly don't love me! Don't ever say you do!"

 

Remy was fighting the urge to sob. "How many times did you kill and clone Andy? Did you ever stop to think about the moral consequences? No! You considered him inferior and dispensable, but he was my friend, my *only* friend." After witnessing Andy's death at his father's hands, he'd run away. He'd ended up on the streets and then mère Cosette had found him.

 

"In the five years that I lived with you, you never loved me!" Remy whispered in an emotional tone. "And now that you've got your feelings back because of my empathy, it's too late. You can't change or erase the past. Don't expect me to welcome you with open arms!"

 

Essex carefully considered his next move. "Would you believe me if I told you that I'm truly sorry I hurt you?"

 

"You don't get it, do you?" Remy's eyes flashed when he looked at his father's appearance, which could no longer fool him. "Because of your scheming I'm responsible for the Morlocks' Massacre!"

 

"I would never try to hurt you like that again." Feeling uncomfortable, Essex tried to explain. "Apocalypse took away my emotions when I went to him. I wanted to be able to carry out my work without moral limitations. When you defied me time and time again I wanted to force you to come back to me."

 

"You thought that I'd come running back to you after the Massacre?" Remy whispered in disbelief. Suddenly, his father's actions made sense.

 

"You would have no other place to go." Essex maintained eye contact with Remy.

 

"You were smart, father," Remy admitted. "You never let me see your real face while I lived with you and when I met Sinister, I didn't know it was you."

 

"But I told you who I was after I brought you back to life."

 

"Seeing you morph from Sinister in to Essex will haunt me as long as I'll live. I had died, felt drained and then you showed me that Sinister and my father are the same person!" Emotionally exhausted, Remy wondered why he was having this conversation. "I've got nothing left to say to you, so just leave, father."

 

Essex sighed. When he'd brought his son back it had been his intention to force Remy to stay with him and he would have restrained his son to keep him close, but when his emotions had kicked back in, he'd realized that what he was doing was wrong.

 

Essex had never wanted his conscience back.

 

"I will be back, son," Essex told Remy. "We need to discuss your powers and..."

 

"*My* powers?" Remy snarled. "*Your* genes kicked in!" Remy fought his tears. "Do you know that your powers are showing now? Last night, I almost read Joseph's thoughts and the palms of my hands itch!"

 

Essex flinched; flinched for the first time in over 150 years. "You might be able to release your kinetic charge without the help of your cards then." He recalled the first time he'd released his blasts from his hands. "What about your body? Any shape shifting abilities?" He'd never considered this could happen; had never thought of the possibility that Remy's powers could evolve after he'd re-activated Remy's cells to bring his son back.

 

"Shape shifting? Oh no!" Remy hadn't even considered that. "What's next? Your armor?"

 

Concerned, Essex closely monitored his son's reactions. "I need to teach you how to handle these skills. Professor Xavier won't be able to give you proper instructions in how to deal with my powers."

 

Remy's eyes burned. "So that's it? This is your newest ploy to force me to stay with you?"

 

"You came to me for help once before, Remy," Essex reminded him. "It was easier for you to control your powers after you had surgery, wasn't it?" He was growing truly worried. Remy was showing skills that Apocalypse had given *him*. "Let me help you."

 

"Leave me the hell alone!" Remy exploded. Tears of rage and hurt dripped from his chin. "I finally found a home and I'm not giving it up for you! I'd rather blow myself up first before trusting you again!"

 

The fact that Remy was emotionally unstable greatly worried Essex. "You're my only son, Remy. I lost Adam and Rebecca. You're all I've left. I don't want you to kill yourself."

 

Remy's hysterical laughter cut through the air. "You never acted like my father before so don't start now! When I was little you talked about Adam all the time. You made me feel inferior and I knew then that I was only a replacement. I only had Andy and..." Unable to continue he sank onto his knees.

 

Essex took a step closer to his son and wanted to reassuringly pet Remy's back, but the young man jerked away from his touch. 

 

"Don't! You never wanted to hold me when I was little and I don't want you comforting me now!" Remy rocked slowly, wishing his father would leave him alone. He was tired, tired of living a lie. //Please, don't let Joseph find out!// Joseph would dump him, tell the X-Men the truth and they would kick him out for good. He didn't have a place to go. Jean-Luc and tante would welcome him with open arms, but the assassins would kill him the moment he was seen in New Orleans and he refused to stay with his real father, his nemesis.

 

Essex decided to try once more. "Remy, you don't want to hurt Joseph accidentally, do you? It can happen because you don't know the extent of your powers."

 

Remy's head jerked back. "You've been spying on me! Don't you dare harm Joseph!"

 

"I have no intentions of harming your lover," Essex assured him quickly. "But as he's close all the time, he might be the first to get hurt when your new powers truly manifest."

 

"I can deal with this alone!" Remy struggled back to his feet and started for the mansion. "I strongly suggest you keep your distance."

 

Essex watched him leave and didn't know whether to feel thankful or cursed now that his feelings had returned. He was determined to keep a close eye on his son because he wanted to be able to intervene quickly, should Remy lose control over his new powers. Turning around, he chuckled, another sensation he'd been deprived of for over 150 years.

 

///

 

Joseph stepped away from the cover of the tree when Remy passed by. "Remy?"

 

Remy jerked around, shocked by his lover's sudden appearance. How long had Joseph been here? What had his lover heard? Had Joseph seen Essex? "Cher, what are y' doin' here?" Immediately, he slipped back into using his Cajun accent. He'd learned to play this role perfectly through the years.

 

"I needed to know you were safe so I came looking for you," Joseph explained. He'd only caught part of Remy and the stranger's conversation and didn't know what to think of the things he'd heard. "Whom were you talking to? I don't think I've seen him here before. How did he get inside? Scott upgraded the mansion's security this morning."

 

Remy began to tremble violently, not knowing how to answer all those questions. The fact that Essex was his father had to remain a secret. "Cher, I don' know..." he whispered, feeling emotionally drained. Joseph had him cornered and his anxiety increased. The emotional pressure finally got to him and he collapsed.

 

Joseph moved quickly when Remy fainted. He caught his lover in his arms and held him tight.

 

Part 11

 

When Remy opened his eyes he saw that he was back at the boathouse. A soft sigh fled his lips as he tried to sit upright, after realizing that he was lying down on the couch. Remy rubbed his brow and pinched his eyes, trying to lock out the thundering headache that almost made him want to throw up.

 

"Here, drink this," Joseph handed Remy a cup of tea. His lover's trembling fingers curled tightly around the hot mug. "Are you cold?"

 

"Non," Remy replied, but the shivers that ran through his body betrayed him. It wasn't just his body that felt cold, his mind felt frozen after the conversation he'd just had with Essex.

 

Joseph retrieved a blanket from the bedroom and draped it over Remy's shoulders. He sat down beside his lover and studied Remy. "You have to stop scaring me like that," he said softly. His heart had missed several beats when Remy had passed out.

 

"Sorry dat I fainted, cher," Remy apologized. "I just couldn' deal wit' everyt'in' happenin' at de same time." Growing quiet again, Remy focused on the hot tea in his hands and sipped it carefully. He didn't really know what to do, now that Joseph had overheard parts of his conversation with Essex.

 

"Who was that man you were talking to?" Joseph asked, curiously. He gently pulled Remy close, slipped one arm around his lover's shoulders and plunged ahead. "You called him father." Holding his breath, Joseph waited and when Remy didn't speak, he added, "No more secrets, Remy. I can tell that you're hurting inside. I see it in your eyes and your pain brushes against my mind. Did your father hurt you? If he did he'll pay for it."

 

Remy locked eyes with Joseph and chuckled softly, trying to picture his lover squaring off against Essex, but then the seriousness of the situation hit him. "Cher, I can' tell y'," Remy said in a tone filled with unspoken regret.

 

Joseph decided that he needed to add more pressure to make Remy open up to him. "When you talked to him, you didn't have a Cajun accent, Remy." That was probably the one thing that had shocked him most; the fact that Remy had never slipped when using his Cajun accent. He wanted to discuss this in depth later, but he needed to go slow now.

 

"What else did y' hear, cher?" Remy clutched the tea mug so tightly that he feared the porcelain might implode in his hands due to the pressure. His worst nightmare was quickly coming true. Joseph was trying to figure out who his father was, who *he* really was. Now that Joseph had heard him talk without the accent, his lover would demand answers. The seeds of doubt, distrust and betrayal had been sowed in his lover's mind and they would make Joseph turn away from him.

 

"I also heard Andy's name," Joseph admitted. Suddenly, he felt shy, even a bit embarrassed. He didn't know if he'd reached the right conclusion, but it would explain Remy's reaction when Astra had told them that he was a clone. "Was Andy a clone?"

 

Remy sighed, realizing that there was no way in Hell that Joseph would let him keep his secrets. Feeling cornered and helpless he realized that Joseph deserved the whole truth. He should have told Joseph when they'd gotten together. //After Josep' dumps me I'll pack my t'ings and leave Westchester; the country, maybe even de continent.// The X-Men would loathe his sight once they knew whose son he was. "I don' wanna lose y', cher," Remy whimpered, trying to postpone the inevitable. "Je t'aime, Josep'."

 

"You won't lose me," Joseph assured Remy, but his lover's body tensed up against his anyway. Apparently Remy had already decided that he was going to be dumped and kicked out. //Why do you have such little faith in me?// he wondered privately. Remy's eyes avoided his and Joseph reassuringly squeezed Remy's shoulder. "I won't judge you, Remy. Please tell me why you're hurting. It's driving you deeper in to depression and I refuse to lose you over this."

 

Too scared to believe that Joseph really meant it, Remy laughed bitterly. "Y'll judge me and run 'way as fast as y' can! I won' blame y' for dumpin' me. I deserve it."

 

"I won't dump you," Joseph stated. "And Remy, it hurts that you think I'll dump you. I love you! Remy, trust me," Joseph said pleadingly. In the end Remy had to decide to trust him or not.

 

Upset, Remy whispered, "My real name is Remy Nathan Essex." A terrible pain cut his heart in two, knowing that he would lose Joseph's love over this. No one could love a traitor. "De man y' saw at de lake is Nathaniel Essex, my father." Now that he'd said it, he steeled himself for Joseph's anger, which he felt he truly deserved.

 

Joseph saw the fear in Remy's eyes, but didn't know why his lover expected him to be upset. "Essex? Why does that name sound familiar?" Joseph mused out loud. So Remy had been talking to his father? Puzzled, he recalled the things Remy had said when he'd suffered from that last nightmare, which had featured his father and Andy. Remy had almost suffered a panic attack that night and now his father was here at the mansion? How had the man gotten passed the security cameras? Scott had upgraded the mansion's security system this very morning and it should have kept Remy's father out!

 

"Name sounds familiar 'cause..." Remy swallowed hard. Mentally, he tried to prepare himself for Joseph's rejection. His lover would dump him once Joseph knew the truth. It hurt that he was going to lose the love of his life and he fought back his tears. Essex had ruined his life and now Joseph would leave him because of his father's identity. Remy forced himself to finish his sentence. "Sounds familiar 'cause y' know him as Sinister."

 

Joseph stared at Remy in disbelief. He must have misheard, was drawing the wrong conclusions... Remy couldn't have said what he'd thought he'd said. "What are you trying to tell me, Remy?" Joseph shook Remy's shoulders slightly, trying to drive away the blank expression in the red- on- black eyes.

 

Remy hated to spell it out like this. "Sinister is my father!" he hissed and pulled away from Joseph before his lover could jerk away from him. Remy settled down on the other end of the couch and stared at his hands. His palms still itched. "He's my father! Only found out de trut' after he brought me back. Apocalypse took 'way my father's feelings at his own request, but 'cause of my empat'y his feelings are back." Exhausted, he waited for Joseph to tell him to leave the boathouse. Any moment now Joseph's rage would come to a boil and his lover would tell him to get the hell out and leave him alone.

 

Joseph swallowed hard at that unexpected revelation. "Sinister is your father?" He rose from the couch and paced the living area, trying to organize his thoughts. "Why didn't you tell me?" Too many thoughts and feelings circled inside his head and only moments later he realized that some of them weren't his, but Remy's. He felt Remy's fear, his lover's uncertainty and guilt. The negative emotions were unsettling and Joseph realized that Remy blamed himself for things out of his control. "Remy?"

 

Remy's lowered eyes were fixed on the floor. "I didn' tell y' 'cause I can' accept dat Essex is my father. When I found out dat Essex and Sinister were one and de same person, I... dere were so many t'ings goin' on in my life dat I had to hold on to y'r love. I didn' want to ruin everyt'in' by tellin' y' 'bout my father." Taking Joseph's silence as a sign to leave, Remy got to his feet and walked towards the doorway. Regret and guilt filled his soul and he wished that Joseph had never overheard his conversation with his father.

 

"Where do you think you're going?" Joseph quickly covered the distance between them and stood in front of Remy, his back against the door, blocking his lover's way. The pain that Remy radiated was overwhelming.

 

"I'll leave. Gonna pack my t'ings and... don' know yet where I'm headin', mebbe Europe," Remy said resigned, never meeting Joseph's eyes. He's hoped that his ex-lover would let him go peacefully.

 

Joseph sighed deeply, seeing the slumped shoulders and defeated expression on Remy's face. "You think I'm dumping you?"

 

"Oui, y' are, cher." Remy cringed, speaking those words. "I never wanted anyone to find out. I begged Essex to leave me 'lone, mais now dat he's got his feelings back he wants to make t'ings up to me..." Again, his father had ruined his life and Remy wasn't sure he had any strength left to pick up the pieces and move on.

 

Joseph knew that Remy was still holding back, hiding things that were hurting him and he stated, "There's more. You said that his powers were starting to show. You also mentioned that you almost read my thoughts last night." Joseph saw the tremors that rocked Remy's exhausted body and after wrapping his arms around his lover, he steered Remy back towards the couch. After sitting Remy down, he claimed his lover's hands. "You said that your palms itched." //Remy, why do you think that you have to deal with this on your own?//

 

Confused, Remy peeked at Joseph's eyes. Why hadn't the other man kicked him out yet? Why was Joseph holding his hands? "Oui, cher, dere's more." He desperately tried to find a way to tell Joseph about his fears. "Cher, I don' even know how to refer to him... Sinister, Essex, father..." Feeling at a loss, he closed his eyes. From now on, every time that he looked into a mirror he'd be reminded of the fact that he was Remy Nathan Essex... He'd always disliked his alien eyes, but now he hated them!

 

"What are you most comfortable with?" Joseph saw how hard this was on Remy and felt immensely thankful that his lover was finally letting go of the pain, fear and guilt that had been eating at him for the last 6 weeks. "Essex or father?" For some reason he immediately ruled out the name Sinister.

 

"Essex, I guess." Hesitantly, Remy locked eyes with Joseph. "Y' gotta understand, when I was livin' wit' him he never morphed in to Sinister. To me, he was just a very busy physician. Oui, Essex kinda neglected me, mais..." Too emotional to continue he gazed into Joseph's eyes, trying to read the truth in them. He could use his empathic powers to find out what Joseph was feeling, but he refused to invade the other man's privacy like that. "During de first 5 years of my life he acted like my father. I loved him... wanted him to be proud of me."

 

"How did you end up on the streets?" Joseph cupped Remy's chin in the palm of his hand and raised his lover's face. Resignation and defeat stared back at him.

 

"When I was 4 Essex decided to move to N'Awlins. He took me wit' him. He was so busy wit' gettin' everyt'in' organized dat he kinda forgot 'bout me and I managed to run 'way. I lived on de streets until mère Cosette found me."

 

Joseph released a deep sigh. "I'm sorry to push you like this, but what did you mean when you said that his powers were showing?" he repeated his earlier question. They had to address this; he had to know what was going on with his lover.

 

"Sinister's a telepat'... a shape shifter and he can release blasts from his hands..." Remy rubbed the palm of his hand. "Since a few days my hands are itchin'...I might no longer need my cards to release my kinetic charge."

 

"You must be scared," Joseph whispered. Remy's eyes grew big and Joseph realized that his lover had expected to be dumped after telling him the truth. "I'm not dumping you, Remy. You can't pick your parents and Essex... Sinister played mind games with you. I'm sorry that your father mistreated you like that." Maintaining eye contact, Joseph knew that his lover would feel his sincerity and he concentrated on his love for Remy.

 

Remy wiped away the tears that had begun to flow at hearing Joseph's comforting words. "I'm still tryin' to deal wit' de fact dat he's my father, Josep'... I'm sorry dat I didn' tell y' when we got together, mais I was scared... I wanted to take dis secret in to my grave. I feel so ashamed..." His eyes carried an empty expression as he stared at their twined fingers. "Why are y' still here?"

 

"Because I'm love with you, sexy." Joseph fought his own tears. "Please don't cry." He couldn't bear seeing Remy in such pain.

 

"I don' understand, Josep'," Remy tried again. "Why are y' still here now dat y' know who I really am? How can y' look at me or touch me, knowin' dat I lied to y'? Knowin' dat I'm Essex's son?" Inwardly torn, he didn't know what to do or how to act. Joseph had to decide where they would go from here.

 

Joseph drew in a deep breath and hoped that Remy was really listening when he said, "Remy, I love you unconditionally. The fact that Essex is your father doesn't change my feelings for you. It's just one more thing that we have to deal with." Suddenly, Joseph remembered something that had puzzled him at the time. "Is that why you suggested I ask Sinister for help?"

 

"Oui, cher," Remy replied softly. "For some reason Essex wants to make t'ings up to me and he might be able to help y'."

 

"And you think he's sincere?" Joseph soothingly rubbed the skin of Remy's hand. Remy was maintaining this emotional distance between them and he couldn't blame him. Remy was going through an incrediblely difficult time.

 

Remy laughed bitterly. "I'm an empat', cher. I know he's sincere."

 

Joseph carefully considered his next words. "Do you trust him?"

 

"Non! Never!" Remy stated in an agitated tone. Remy pulled free from Joseph's hands and began pacing. "Can' trust him, won' ever trust him 'gain. He got de Morlocks killed... he killed Andy... never trust him. Can' trust him!"

 

Pleased, Joseph noted that Remy now blamed the right person for the Morlocks' Massacre. Quickly, Joseph hurried over to his lover. "Remy, I didn't mean to upset you. Come on, let's sit down again." He folded his arms around Remy, forcing him to stop pacing and then they returned to the couch. Once they were seated again, Joseph caught Remy's eyes and said, "We can't let him come between us, Remy. I love you. I want to be with you no matter what. You know I'm sincere because you can read my feelings. I won't ever dump you and we'll deal with Essex together. You don't have to do this alone, sexy."

 

Remy slumped against him and sobbed softly. Pulling up his legs, he rested his head on his knees. "Can' believe y' still want me."

 

Joseph held him close and stroked Remy's back. "Shst, of course I still want you. You won't get rid of me that easily, Remy..."

 

"What do we do now?" Remy sobbed. He tried to pull himself together again, but lacked the mental strength.

 

"We'll go on with our lives, Remy." Joseph cocked his head to catch Remy's glance. Slowly, his fingers brushed his lover's lips and he sucked in his breath when Remy began to nibble on his fingertips. In Remy's eyes Joseph saw what his lover needed from him. Joseph understood; Remy needed to know that they were still lovers and Joseph decided to prove to Remy that everything was fine between them. "We should go upstairs. We'll be more comfortable in bed." He could give his lover what he needed.

 

Remy's heart missed a beat. Did Joseph know what he needed, wanted, craved so badly? Afraid to hope, he whispered, "Take me, cher, please make me y'rs." 

 

Joseph briefly wavered; he'd never made love to a man before, what if he did everything wrong and ended up disappointing his lover? "Are you sure about this? I've never done this before."

 

"I'm sure," Remy assured him and jumped to his feet. "Gimme one moment, cher!" The prospect of finally making love with Joseph instantly chased away his dark and gloomy thoughts. Remy wiped away his last tears, growing aroused now that Joseph was considering making love to him, which was all he'd ever wanted. Maybe Joseph still loved, still wanted him... Joseph's emotions where pure and spoke of nothing but love for him.

 

Joseph watched Remy dash upstairs. One minute later he got up from the couch and centered himself. He hadn't thought they'd take this step so soon, but Remy needed him and Joseph knew it was the right thing to do.

 

"Y' can come upstairs, cher!" Remy quickly removed his clothes and naked, he crept onto the bed on all fours. He rearranged the pillow beneath his hips, rested his weight on his arms and waited for his lover to join him. His cock rubbed against the pillow and a sigh escaped his lips. Only a few more minutes and then his lover would claim him. Shivers racked his body as he tried to imagine what it would be like to feel Joseph deep inside him.

 

Joseph's breath caught as he entered the bedroom. Remy was on all fours, ass sticking high in the air and squirming on the bed. The sight instantly aroused him and he was erect within seconds. "Oh, sexy..." he whispered, admiringly.

 

"Fuck me, cher, please..." Remy whispered as he cocked his head. "Need y' inside me..." He rubbed his cock against the pillow and spread his legs invitingly. "Get behind me..."

 

"Not like this," Joseph stated determinedly. Seeing Remy's startled expression he sat down and gently pushed his lover onto his back. Remy's big eyes stared back at him. "I don't want this to be a quick fuck, Remy. I want to make love to you." Remy's watering eyes urged him to lean in closer and he kissed his lover's lips passionately. "Move over," he instructed and lay down beside his lover. "Undress me," he ordered. As long as he lived he would never forget the way Remy had looked when he'd entered the bedroom. His lover's need had been so palpable that he'd almost abandoned his idea to make love and to fuck Remy instead like his lover wanted him to. But thankfully, he'd managed to regain control over his lust.

 

Remy nodded his head. "Oui, y'r wearin' way too many clot'es..." Remy straddled his lover's hips and unbuttoned Joseph's shirt, which he flung onto the floor a moment later. "Beau, cher..." he whispered absentmindedly and leaned forward to explore Joseph's chest with his tongue. Its tip moved down from the collarbone until it met one erect nipple, which he suckled gently.

 

Joseph moaned and his fingers found a way into Remy's hair. "Feels great," he encouraged Remy.

 

Remy smiled warmly and bathed the other hard nub in saliva as well. Then he pinched it, rolling the hard flesh between his fingers. Beneath him, Joseph bucked hard. "Want to make love to y', want to pleasure y'," Remy whispered and unzipped his lover's jeans. Slowly, using his teeth, he pulled the fabric down his lover's legs and then attacked the briefs Joseph was wearing. Finally, Joseph lay naked beneath him and Remy licked his lips, seeing the impressive erection.

 

"Remy," Joseph opened his eyes and tried to breathe steadily, which was becoming increasingly difficult as Remy's dextrous tongue now traveled up the length of his cock, nibbling and licking him. "You're going to make me come, sexy..."

 

"Want y' to come, cher... dat way y'll last longer when y're inside me..." Remy moved down until he could easily capture Joseph's cock in his mouth. "Beau," he whispered again, as his tongue probed at the slit. Carefully he eased the foreskin back and closed his lips around his lover's cock, sucking hard.

 

"Oh Remy," Joseph softly moaned his lover's name and rested his hand on Remy's head, urging him to take in more.

 

Remy released Joseph's cock to lick his lover's heavy balls. Lazily, he stroked Joseph's cock and ran his tongue up and down the perineum. Remy felt Joseph tense up; his lover was about to come and he focused all his attention on Joseph's cock. Joseph began to thrust and Remy relaxed his throat, allowing his lover to fuck his mouth.

 

"Remy!" Joseph screamed, as the pressure inside his body demanded a way out and he gently massaged his lover's throat as Remy swallowed every drop he had to offer. "Swallow," he encouraged, seeing Remy struggle for breath.

 

After devouring every drop of his lover's come, Remy grinned smugly. "Cher," he purred, licking his lover's sated sex clean. "Am goin' to get y' ready for round two in a sec." He'd locked out Joseph's orgasm, not wanting to come yet and his cock was begging for some attention.

 

Joseph brought his arms up behind Remy's back and pulled his lover on top of him until Remy's body completely covered his. "I love you."

 

Remy smiled warmly. "Do y' wanna taste y'rself?"

 

"Oh yes." Joseph leaned in closer, pressed his lips against Remy's and nudged his lover's lips and teeth apart.

 

Remy moaned helplessly as Joseph rolled him onto his back. Wantonly, he spread his legs and Joseph settled down between them. "Take me, cher? Please?" Under his expert ministrations Joseph's cock was growing hard again. It also helped that he was pouring some of his lust and desire into his lover's mind.

 

Joseph nodded his head. "But you'll have to guide me and I want to see your face."

 

"Mais I like it best when I'm on all fours," Remy sulked and then grinned. "Mebbe later?"

 

The comment broke the tension that had begun to build and Joseph chuckled. His cock pressed against his lover's entrance, but he still hesitated. "Tell me what to do."

 

Remy took hold of the body lotion which he'd retrieved from the bathroom earlier. "Normally, we would use lube, mais as we don' have it handy, dis will do." Remy coated the fingers of Joseph's right hand with the lotion. "One finger first, like y' did before."

 

Joseph nodded once and kneeled between Remy's legs. He watched closely as Remy pushed the pillow back beneath his hips, spreading his legs further. Joseph glanced at his lover's enflamed cock. "Don't you want me to pump you...?"

 

"Not yet, cher. One finger," Remy insisted and his hands buried themselves in the sheets in nervous anticipation.

 

Joseph first massaged the outer ring, like he'd done once before and then slowly pushed inside. Remy's yelp almost made him stop. "Remy? Am I doing something wrong?"

 

"Cher, continue! Deeper!" Remy whispered and arched his back. "Two fingers!" He'd craved making love with Joseph for so long and now that it was finally happening he feared he might come from the sensation of feeling just one finger inside him. //Mon Dieu, I won' last long!//

 

Joseph drew in a deep breath and added another digit. This time he met with more resistance. "Am I hurting you?" he asked concerned, realizing that Remy was holding his breath.

 

"Non, cher, feels bien," Remy groaned and tried to push back to take in more of Joseph's fingers. "Move dem about, cher... y've got to stretch me." Remy yelped softly as Joseph began to stretch his tight passage. "Thrust," Remy begged. "Fuck me wit' y'r fingers."

 

Joseph licked his lips. His insecurity was fading now that Remy was responding this passionately. He absolutely loved the fact that his lover never held back and always expressed his desires. His hard-on throbbed and Joseph was getting impatient. "Now what?"

 

"T'ree fingers," Remy crooned softly and closed his eyes. When Joseph returned with three, it hurt.

 

"Remy?" Joseph caught the change in his lover's breathing and sensed some of Remy's pain, as it seeped into his mind. His fingers halted in their movement, refusing to inflict any more pain.

 

"Y're big, cher," Remy reminded Joseph. "Y' need to stretch me!" He wantonly pushed back and one fingertip brushed his prostate. "'gain! Cher, de sweet spot, 'gain!"

 

Joseph repeated the motion and Remy squirmed beneath him. Unable to hold back any longer, he grabbed the lotion and rubbed a generous amount on his cock. "Now?" he asked, hoping that Remy would say yes. He had to bury himself inside Remy's tight passage and wasn't sure he could restrain himself much longer.

 

"Now, oui, cher!" Remy moaned as Joseph's fingers stopped the internal massage. He wanted to roll onto his stomach, but Joseph stopped him. "Mais, cher..."

 

"No, I need to see your face so I can tell when you're in pain!" Joseph took hold of Remy's ankles and rested his lover's legs on his shoulders. "Will this work?" He was holding himself back, but the need to claim Remy was quickly becoming unbearable.

 

"Oui," Remy whispered, breathlessly. He shifted slightly and stared into Joseph's eyes. "Now, cher."

 

Joseph growled softly and curled his fingers around his cock, which he placed against Remy's entrance. "Sexy, I can't promise you that I'll last... I'll try to be gentle," he added honestly. As Remy's lust exploded in his mind, it drove him over the edge!

 

"Want it hard," Remy assured him. He clawed the sheets when Joseph's cock pushed passed the guardian muscle. "Oui, cher... deeper, push, want y', fuck me..."

 

Joseph heard Remy's rambling, but didn't comment. He was too busy trying not to accidentally plunge too deeply into his lover's body. "Don't want to hurt you," he explained.

 

"Cher, I want it hard! Like it dat way!" Remy assured him and released the sheets to grab Joseph's ass. Determinedly, he used his hold to push Joseph deeper inside. Red fog clouded his vision as he took in another inch of Joseph's cock. "All de way, to de hilt," Remy demanded. Red, hot pain cut through his lower body. "Oui, y'r big, cher... open me up, want to feel y' inside me."

 

Unable to hold back any longer, Joseph pushed inside until his balls slapped against Remy's buttocks. "All the way," he confirmed and gasped for breath. He was afraid to move. Remy was so damn tight that he might come from being surrounded by that hot passage alone. Looking down at his lover, Joseph found that Remy had bit his lower lip and it was now bleeding. Leaning forward, he licked his lover's lip clean and then ravished Remy's mouth, possessively exploring every inch of it. Amused, he listened to Remy's continued babbling. The comforting tone encouraged him, took away his insecurities. It had an entrancing quality.

 

"Y'rs, all y'rs." Remy whispered after Joseph had released his lips. "Please fuck me, cher!" Pleadingly, Remy looked at Joseph. "Hard, fuck me hard, cher..."

 

Joseph groaned and eased back out, only to thrust deeper again. 

 

"Oui, dat's it... oui! Remy arched against him, lifting his hips to change the angle of his lover's thrust. The next stroke brushed his prostate and he shivered deliriously. "Qui, fuck me, cher, claim me, make me y'rs... shoot your come deep into my ass, make me feel y'!" He rambled on, knowing that Joseph needed to hear the reassurance. "Want it dis way, please, cher, harder..."

 

Remy's need overruled Joseph's desire to be careful and his thrusts became deep and viscous. He wrapped his fingers around Remy's semi erect cock and began to pump it roughly. Driving himself deeper into the willing body, he eased out and then pushed in again. The ecstasy that surged through him was Remy's and he vowed to give his lover everything that he wanted. Remy had told him his heart's desire and the soft pleading still echoed in Joseph's ears. Yes, he would grant Remy his wish. Pulling out completely, he grabbed Remy's waist and rolled him onto his stomach. Remy's pleasure washed through him, telling him that he was doing everything right.

 

"On your hands and knees, sexy, just like you want it," he whispered passionately and watched entranced as Remy presented himself to him, raising himself on all fours. "I don't deserve you," he whispered awed as he kneaded Remy's buttocks.

 

"Please, back inside... now!" Remy's hand stole to his aching cock and he pumped himself roughly. "Cher, fuck me, please, take me, inside me..." Remy continued to ramble. At this point he didn't even know what he was saying.

 

Joseph spread the delicious mounds of flesh and buried himself to the hilt inside his lover's body. Grabbing Remy's hips, he established a fast rhythm. Remy's need to find release had become his and he tried to brush his lover's prostate with every thrust. When Remy finally came, Joseph feared he would pass out. Suddenly, his lover's muscle clenched him, and the spasms massaged his cock. "Remy!" Joseph screamed his lover's name as he found release.

 

Remy collapsed onto his stomach, opened his shields and their orgasm mingled. Joseph's weight settled down onto him and he moaned softly, as his lover's semi hard cock brushed his prostate again. Speechless, they remained like that, unable to move. They both needed to feel this connection, needed to know that they were one.

 

Minutes later, Joseph grew aware of the fact that he was pressing Remy into the mattress and making it hard for his lover to breathe properly. "Can I pull out?" he whispered into Remy's ear. He wished that they could stay like this forever.

 

"Slowly," Remy cautioned him and clenched his teeth. A sharp pain shot through his lower body and he stifled a groan by pressing his face deeper into the pillow. "Mon Dieu, best fuck I've had!" he panted fatigued.

 

Joseph sat back and his eyes scanned his lover's body. //I didn't leave any marks,// he mused pleased, but his contentment disappeared when he saw that a few drops of blood clung to his limp cock. "Remy!" he exclaimed upset.

 

Remy, who was still lying on his stomach, wanted to turn around, but Joseph stopped him. Fingertips pressed against his entrance and he smiled. "Cher... I need time to recover... ain' up to anyt'in' yet."

 

"Remy," Joseph whispered, upset. "You're bleeding." Joseph's mood turned dark. He wasn't any better than Steve!

 

"Remy cocked his head so he could look at Joseph. "Cher, dat happens sometimes. Don' worry 'bout it" Seeing the dark expression in Joseph's eyes, he pushed away the hand that restrained him and turned around. Kneeling beside Joseph, Remy said, "An homme's body ain' made to be taken like dat... sometimes y'll draw a lil' blood. Dat's normal, cher."

 

"Are you sore?" Joseph asked crestfallen. Suddenly, he was caught in Remy's arms and he rested his head against his lover's chest. "Don't know what happened. I never wanted to hurt you. Somehow I lost control."

 

"Cher, y're a great lover. Made me feel y', made me come hard." He kissed the top of Joseph's head. "Y' never had anal sex before, cher?"

 

Joseph chuckled unexpectedly. "I never considered having sex in that way. Rogue never hinted she would like to have anal sex with me, so we never discussed it." Joseph paused and hesitated to continue. "I told you that I sometimes couldn't perform?"

 

Remy whispered, "Oui, y' did." This time their roles were reversed and Remy held his lover tightly.

 

"Well, sometimes I wasn't in the mood to have sex... there were so many things I wanted to discuss with her. I felt confused. My instincts kept telling me that there had to be more to a relationship than sex."

 

Remy teased, "Y' certainly didn' have any problems performin' dis time, cher..." His right hand stroked his lover's back and he relished feeling the skin beneath his fingertips. "Y're a great lover and I like it when y' get a little rough wit' me, turns me on, y' know."

 

Joseph looked up and smiled. "Let me guess... you've already made plans for the next time that we make love?" He allowed Remy to pull him to his feet and together they walked to the bathroom. //Yes, cleaning up is a good idea.// Remy's laugh was warm and genuine. "What plans?" he asked, as Remy pushed him into the shower cabin and turned on the water.

 

Remy's smug grin sparkled. "When we get back to my room I want y' to look beneat' my bed. Y'll find a red box..."

 

Joseph raised an eyebrow. "What's so special about that box?" He sighed blissfully as Remy worked up a lather and then began to clean his chest. "I can do that myself," he said, half-heartedly. Remy's hands felt great against his skin.

 

"Toy box," Remy whispered wickedly as he sank onto his knees to wash the rest of Joseph's body.

 

"Toy box?" Joseph replied, puzzled. "What are you talking about... ohhhh," Suddenly Remy was running the sponge over his cock, cleaning him thoroughly.

 

"I'll show y'," Remy whispered as he moved behind Joseph to run his soap slick hands over Joseph's ass. "And oui, I've got ideas to make our next time special."

 

Joseph's hands found Remy's head and he gently pulled his lover back to his feet. "My turn," he decided and began to clean Remy up. "I never planned on taking this step so soon," he said somewhat apologetically as he encountered the dried blood between Remy's legs. "I'm not sure I can get used to hurting you, making you bleed.

 

Remy sighed. "Cher." He locked eyes with Joseph. "*Let* *it* *go*," he said, stressing each word. "Why are y' dis upset?"

 

"Steve made you bleed too," Joseph said softly and averted his eyes.

 

"Oh, cher!" Remy pulled Joseph close and hugged him tightly. "Don' compare de two of y'." Realizing that words wouldn't do the trick, he sent Joseph his feelings.

 

Joseph's eyes grew big, experiencing Remy's fulfilment and happiness.

 

"Don' feel guilty, cher, please... our love makin' was bien..." Remy's eyes met Joseph's and suddenly he sensed the change in his lover's feelings; there was acceptance and joy, and just a hint of concern.

 

"What if I make you bleed again the next time we have sex?" Joseph asked worried, fingering Remy's wet hair.

 

Remy shrugged his shoulders. "It will remind me dat we made love and dat y' possessed me like I want y' to possess me."

 

Joseph released a strangled sigh. He was beginning to realize that he was overreacting. "I'll be more careful next time," he promised and felt Remy's grin before seeing it.

 

"Next time, cher, I want y' to fuck me t'rough de floor!"

 

Joseph chuckled. "Sexy, what am I going to do with you?"

 

"I've got some ideas," Remy replied, naughtily. "Just wait until I show y' my little collection of toys!"

 

"Toys?" Was Remy referring to that box beneath his bed?

 

"Oui," Remy whispered and suckled Joseph's left nipple. //Can' wait for y' to tell me what y' wanna use on me... mebbe de buttplug? Anal beads or... de restraints...//

 

Remy trembled against him and Joseph turned off the water. "What are you laughing about?"

 

"Oh, y'll find out, cher... I promise!"

 

Part 12

 

Feeling a little nervous, Bobby stepped into Warren's room and raised a puzzled eyebrow. Hank had mentioned that Warren was getting ready to leave, but hadn't known why. "Hey, man, what are you doing?"

 

"What does it look like?" Without looking up, Warren continued to pack his duffel bag. "I'm leaving."

 

"Why?" Shocked, Bobby sank down onto the bed, managed to capture his friend's gaze and searched Warren's eyes for answers. "Why didn't you mention you were leaving? We planned on going bowling tonight, don't you remember?" Now he'd have to go with Hank, which would still account for a lot of fun, but he'd counted on Warren accompanying them. After bowling all three of them could have gone on a Twinkie run!

 

"Slim and Joseph paid me a visit," Warren explained and gathered his toiletries, which he flung into the duffel bag. "Turns out that Gambit is an empath. I just knew that the thief was hiding things from us!"

 

"Yeah, Storm told me... she also said that Scott had asked her to use her shields when Remy was close." Learning that the Cajun was an empath had stunned Bobby. He'd never suspected that Gambit had empathic abilities, but was determined to act more carefully around Remy. If their feelings really affected the Cajun he would hold on to his shields to make sure none of his feelings were leaking. Plus he had a more selfish reason for keeping his shields up and that reason stood right in front of him.

 

"They asked me to keep up my shields as well," Warren explained and scanned the room with his eyes, making sure he'd packed everything he'd need.

 

"And you refused to co-operate? Warren, Gambit was left at Antarctica and we believed he died because Rogue said so. This has to be hard on Remy. Why not bear in mind that he's going through a rough time and go easy on him?" Warren lowered his eyes and Bobby got to his feet. "Warren?" he said as he halted in front of his friend. "This isn't about Gambit, is it?"

 

Warren nodded his head. "Every time I look at him I'm reminded of the Marauders and... the loss of my wings." Although he knew in his heart that Remy wasn't to blame for the loss of his wings, he wanted the Cajun to be the guilty party. Remy was close and it was easier to punish him than Hodge, who was out of his reach.

 

"You can't blame Gambit for losing your wings!" Bobby said passionately. He knew that Warren had problems dealing with what had happened after losing his wings, but it was unfair to put all the blame on Remy! "Hodge..."

 

Warren cut him short. "You're right; I know that, but..." Locking eyes with Bobby, Warren sighed deeply. "I need to get away from this place... these wounds have to heal... they never closed."

 

Bobby reassuringly squeezed Warren's shoulder. He could never tell his friend how much he cared about him, even loved him. They were best friends and could never be lovers. When Warren and he had joined Xavier to help fulfil the professor's dream, he had fallen in love with his friend. He'd known for some time that he liked men best, but having a crush on his team mate greatly complicated his life.

 

Warren and he had quickly built a tight friendship and Bobby had faithfully remained at his friend's side whenever Warren had introduced a new girlfriend to him. Bobby had swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat when he'd shaken the girl's hand. Never once had Warren shown an interest in men, so Bobby continued to suffer in silence. 

 

"I'll come with you," Bobby offered. "You're one of my closest friends. Without Hank and you I would have made some dumb mistakes in my life. Maybe you'd feel better if you had someone to talk to." He gazed into Warren's eyes and sighed privately. "Or do you want to spend time with Betsy?"

 

Warren shook his head and placed his hand on Bobby's, which still rested on his shoulder. "Betsy and I are no longer together."

 

"Huh?" Bobby stuttered. "Why didn't you tell me?" When had they split up? Why didn't he know?

 

"We separated after we got back from Antarctica."

 

"Why?" Bobby realized that he was still squeezing Warren's shoulder and quickly let go. Warren's touch seemed to burn his skin. How he loved looking at those slender, agile fingers. Too bad Warren only liked girls.

 

"She started to change after she gained the ability to walk in those shadows. I can't stand being in her shadow spaces..." Warren explained reluctantly, unwilling to burden his best friend with his problems. Betsy's shadow walking abilities gave him the creeps and there was more going on than he wanted Bobby to know; Betsy seemed fascinated by evil. "I think I'll head for New York."

 

Nervously, Bobby licked his lips. "Warren? You didn't answer my question... do you want me to tag along?" Privately, he chided himself. //Stop it, Drake! It's not like he called it quits with Betsy to be with you! As far as Warren is concerned, the two of you are friends! Friends! Nothing more than friends! You really need to get over him!// But did he want to get over Warren? //You're a fool,// he thought, saddened.

 

"Don't you want to stay here?" Warren asked, giving Bobby a thoughtful glance. "Now that Rogue's available again..." Purposefully, he didn't finish his sentence and grinned smugly.

 

Bobby almost panicked. //No! He can't think that I've got a crush on her!// The attention he paid Rogue was meant to hide his true feelings. He didn't want Warren to feel uncomfortable around him and by pretending to 'like' Rogue he tried to distract his friends from his true sexual preference. Yeah, he was bi, but the thought of dating Rogue made him shiver.

 

"What?" Warren raised an eyebrow, seeing Bobby blush.

 

"It's not like that," Bobby whispered, embarrassed.

 

Warren studied his friend closely. For some time now he'd been suspecting that Bobby was hiding his true feelings, and the question was why? Why would his best friend feel the need to hide things from him? //Maybe he's afraid that I won't want to be his friend any longer when he tells me that he's bi... or gay.//  He'd noticed that none of Bobby's female dates seemed interested in building a relationship after that first date.

 

At first he'd thought that Bobby was afraid to commit to a relationship, but the expression in his friend's eyes told him that he was wrong. Bobby was in love, and dying to be together with that person. The longing was right there in Bobby's eyes. The only question that remained was who Bobby was in love with and why his friend didn't act on it. He knew that expression only too well. Puzzled, he decided to only address it if Bobby made the first move. As long as Bobby didn't feel comfortable discussing this with him, Warren was determined to let it rest.

 

"So you don't like Rogue in that way?" Warren asked, grabbing his duffel bag. He was ready to go!

 

"You're damn right I don't like her in that way!" Bobby startled, hearing his vehement tone.

 

//Tell him! For God's sake! You've been in love with him for years! Tell him!//

 

Bobby shook his head, trying to rid himself of the irritating voice. He couldn't tell Warren. If he did, he'd lose his best friend.

 

Warren observed Bobby for some time and then said, "Why don't you grab some stuff and tag along? It's been a while since we've seen the inside of a nightclub and I know just the place to go to in the Big Apple." Bobby's smile took Warren aback. He hadn't seen that grin in a long time. "But hurry! I won't wait..."

 

Bobby stormed out in to the corridor, ran to his room and threw some clothes into his overnight bag. At the last moment he remembered to grab his toothbrush and then hurried downstairs where Warren was already getting into the car. "I'm ready to go!" he exclaimed and slipped onto the passenger's seat. "New York, here we come!"

 

///

 

"We should return to the mansion," Joseph whispered, feeding Remy another cookie. They'd plundered the kitchen cupboards, and after finding some Twinkies and chocolate chip cookies, they'd installed themselves in the living area. Remy lay stretched on the couch and his lover's head rested in his lap. "You're comfortable?"

 

"Oui, cher, more dan comfortable and I love feelin' a bit sore. Reminds me dat y' made love to me..." Remy smiled lazily at his lover. "Merci for showin' me how much y' love me." The truth was that Joseph's passionate response had taken him aback. He'd never thought that Joseph would want to make love to him after finding out the truth, but the other mutant really loved him, Remy knew that now.

 

"Remy, can I ask you a personal question?" Joseph dangled another cookie in front of his lover's mouth and when Remy tried to bite into it, he quickly pulled it away.

 

"Y're a tease!" Remy chuckled and then remembered his lover's question. "What do y' wanna know?" He couldn't remember feeling this relaxed before!

 

"The accent, Remy... why are you sticking to your Cajun accent?" Joseph brushed some stray, still damp locks away from Remy's face. "Don't you want to be yourself when you're with me? You don't have to pretend when we're together." Remy startled briefly and Joseph felt his lover's body tense up. Not pressuring him in to talking, Joseph waited patiently.

 

"I don' know, cher," Remy said hesitantly. "I've been usin' de accent for 20 years. I've grown used to it." It made him feel safe, knowing he could hide behind it.

 

"Remy, I understand why you feel it's necessary to keep your true identity a secret, but now that I know that it's just a mask... I'd love to get to know the real you. I've got this feeling that sometimes you don't know what role you're playing and what really comes from your heart."

 

Remy raised his right hand and caressed his lover's face. "I'll try," he promised, feeling shy. Joseph was asking him to take a major step; to finally start accepting who he really was. He trusted Joseph, loved him unconditionally, but playing Remy LeBeau had become second nature to him. He didn't know who Remy Nathan Essex really was.

 

"Try to lose the Cajun accent when we're alone?" Joseph asked softly.

 

"All right," Remy replied, shyly.

 

"Much better," Joseph praised him and placed a kiss on his lover's lips. "It'll take some time to get used to the British accent, but I really love it. It makes you sound so sexy..." Joseph smiled warmly. 

 

"Merci..." Remy stopped and corrected himself. "Thank you." Feeling shy and vulnerable, he sat upright and Joseph immediately wrapped his arms around him. "I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't come for me in that nightclub."

 

Pleased, Joseph pressed a kiss on his lover's silken locks. He'd feared that it would take a lot more coaxing on his part to make Remy give in. "Much better, indeed," he purred and licked the back of Remy's neck.

 

Remy quavered as Joseph's tongue found his sensitive spots. "Do you want to make love again?" he asked, bearing in mind not to use the accent. He desperately wanted to please Joseph. "I'm still a bit sore."

 

Joseph grinned. It had only been his intention to tease Remy a little. No way would he make love to Remy while his lover was still sore. "Let's head for the mansion."

 

"Why are you so eager to leave?" Remy asked, careful not to slip back in to his Cajun accent. Back at the mansion they would glare at him, avoid him and their hatred would hurt him. Here, he felt at peace.

 

"I want to see that toy box you mentioned," Joseph teased, playing his trump. He wanted Remy safe at the mansion. Astra would have a though time trying to abduct him when the X-Men were close. Here, they were an easy target. Joseph pushed Remy onto his feet and then rose from the couch himself. "Let's get moving."

 

Sighing, Remy shook his head, but gave in. He already started to mentally prepare himself for a hostile reception at the mansion.

 

///

 

"Hey, we forgot to bring Twinkies!" Bobby complained and searched his bag. "I can't believe we forgot to bring them along!" Last night he'd searched the kitchen cupboards, but all Twinkies had miraculously disappeared and he'd eaten his private stock, which he kept in his room. 

 

Warren grinned. "Want to stop and buy some?"

 

"Sounds great!" Bobby leaned back into the car seat and looked over his shoulder at the mansion, as it grew smaller. "I still think you should have tried to talk things through with Gambit."

 

Warren didn't react at once, carefully considering his answer. "Bobby, you know..."

 

He never got a chance to finish his sentence as an explosion rocked the car and slammed it into several trees. Everything happened in mere seconds and they never had a chance to prepare themselves for impact. 

 

Feeling groggy, Warren felt thankful that they'd buckled up. The seatbelts had kept them from flying out of the car. "Bobby?" he whispered in a hoarse tone. His chest hurt and it was hard to breathe. Blood dripped from his brow.

 

"Still alive," Bobby whispered, in pain. "But I'm stuck."

 

As his eyes traveled down Bobby's body, Warren found that his friend's leg lay in a peculiar angle. "Might be broken, Bobby." Damn, he was panting now, trying to draw in his next breath and his chest exploded with pain.

 

"Can you get out?" Bobby whispered, as the pain shot up his leg. His knee was killing him!

 

"I don't know..." Warren ignored the stabbing pain in his chest. He had to get them out, had to take care of Bobby! He tried to raise his right hand to undo the seatbelt, but found that the limb refused to co-operate. Gritting his teeth, he tried again. His actions increased the pain in his chest and he was still struggling to draw in his next breathe when the darkness washed over him, making him pass out.

 

"Well, that little accident worked perfectly."

 

Bobby's head jerked back, hearing that strange voice. But Warren came first and one look told him that his friend had fainted. Somehow he had to get them out of the car. What if it exploded? Then he remembered hearing a voice. "Is anyone out there? Please help us! My friend is badly injured and I can't move my leg."

 

"Ah, be quiet!" Astra rammed the butt end of her weapon into the back of Bobby's head.

 

Bobby never got the chance to identify their attacker, as a stabbing pain shot through his skull, causing him to lose consciousness as well.

 

Astra grinned, so far her plan was working. She intended to take the two X-Men hostage and then trade them for her clone. "If you behave, you might survive," she whispered, ruffling Bobby's hair. Disgusted, she wiped away the blood that now stuck to her fingers.

 

///

 

"Cher? Trouble!" Relapsing into using his Cajun accent, Remy called out to Joseph, who stopped dead in his tracks. They had left the boathouse and were now heading for the mansion.

 

"What is it?" Joseph asked and took in their surroundings. The empath might be picking up on Astra's presence and alerted, he prepared himself for a possible attack.

 

"Dey're hurt!" Remy exclaimed and began to run towards the main road, located near the mansion's gates.

 

"Who are hurt?" Joseph ran after him and then wondered why the hell he was running in the first place. Using his magnetic powers, he floated in the air and reached for his lover, who he caught in his arms. "We'll get there faster this way," he explained, hugging Remy close to him.

 

"Over dere, I feel deir pain." Remy pointed in the direction he wanted Joseph to take them.

 

Joseph couldn't help but smile, hearing Remy's Cajun accent again. They needed time to work things out. "Whose pain are you feeling?"

 

"Not just pain," Remy whispered, lost in thought as their minds pulled him closer. "I can read deir t'oughts too! It's Warren and Bobby... deir car crashed and dey need help!"

 

Joseph nodded his head and increased the speed with which they were traveling.

 

"Cher... dere's someone else..."

 

Joseph felt Remy tense up in his arms. "Astra," he whispered with certainty. "You think she caused the car crash?"

 

"I don' know. Just be careful," Remy said slowly. "I can' read her mind... she's shieldin' her t'oughts and I lack de experience to push t'rough her defenses, mais she's up to somet'in'."

 

"Remy, I want you to check on the injured and call Jean or the professor telepathically. Do you think you can do that?" As Remy nodded his head, Joseph continued. "Make sure they get medical attention and let me deal with Astra!"

 

"Mais cher!" The look that Joseph gave him shut Remy up. Joseph dropped him off at the crash site.

 

Seeing the car wreck, Remy tried hard to concentrate on helping Warren and Bobby. However, he wished that Joseph had let him deal with Astra.

 

"Remy?" Bobby couldn't believe that he'd been able so say his team mate's name. His head was killing him and he couldn't think straight. A large bump had formed on the back of his head.

 

Bobby's voice caught his attention and he managed to open the car door at Bobby's side. "Hold on, I'm goin' to get us some help!" Remy checked the younger man's body for injuries. At the same time, he focused on the professor, trying to reach him telepathically. When he felt Xavier's surprise, he knew he'd made contact. //Dere's been a crash, monsieur and Warren and Bobby are injured. Dey need medical attention.// He also sent the professor their location. //Please hurry!//

 

"Remy?" Bobby stared at the motionless Cajun. Feeling helpless, he called out, "Remy!" He needed his team mate's help!

 

"Sorry, homme, needed to concentrate," Remy said apologetically. "Looks like y'r leg is broken." He unbuckled Bobby's seatbelt, lifted the younger man in his arms and carefully placed his team mate on the pavement. Thankfully, they were still close to the mansion and there wasn't any traffic.

 

"You've got to check on Warren! He had trouble breathing! Please, let him be awright!" Bobby was panicking. Ignoring the ache in his leg, he tried to crawl back towards the car. "Remy! You can't let him die!"

 

"Stay dere, Drake!" Remy ordered, trying hard not to panic himself. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Astra and Joseph were talking. He couldn't hear the words and as long as his lover wasn't in pain he would try to help Warren.

 

"He couldn't breathe!" Bobby yelped helplessly, as a terrible pain caused him to grow motionless. His leg was pounding and tears sprang from his eyes. "Don't let him die," he sobbed.

 

Remy crept into the car and smelled the gasoline that was leaking from the tank. One look at Warren told him that the other man was regaining consciousness. //Bad timin'!// It would have been easier to drag Warren outside if he'd stayed unconscious.

 

Warren's eyes flashed open and frantically he tried to draw in his next breath. His chest hurt and he *couldn't* breathe... "Help me..." he whispered and coughed violently. The pain that the coughing fit caused almost made him pass out again.

 

"I've got y', mon ami," Remy whispered and did away with Warren's seatbelt. Seeing how much strength it cost Warren to breathe, he feared that a broken rib might have punctured a lung. "It's goin' to be bien. I'm goin' to get y' out," Remy promised and carefully pulled Warren with him as he crawled backwards.

 

"Hurts!" Warren exclaimed. Another coughing fit almost choked him.

 

Remy cursed softly, seeing that Warren was coughing up blood. Feeling the other man's panic and pain he tried to reassure Warren empathically. He reached out and wrapped reassurance around Warren's mind. Remy sighed as Warren stopped struggling and pulled him out of the car.

 

Looking over at Bobby, Remy saw the true love in his team mate's eyes. //I never knew, never suspected dat Bobby was in love wit' Warren!// He'd always suspected that Bobby might be bi, but had never felt the urge to talk to him about it. "Warren's goin' to be bien," he told Bobby. Remy carefully carried Warren over to Bobby. "Here, see for y'rself, mon ami."

 

Warren was still having problems breathing and Remy wondered why it took the other X-Men so long to get here! "Bobby, watch him!" Remy ordered and helped Bobby to get close enough to touch Warren's body.

 

"Thanks, Remy," Bobby whispered, relieved.

 

The next moment a loud explosion echoed through the air, knocking Remy off his feet. Instinctively, he tried to shield Warren from the car debris, using his body as a protective shield. Looking over his shoulder, he found that the car was burning. "Stay wit' him!" he told Bobby and made his way over to Astra.

 

///

 

"So that's the way it's going to be?" Astra's switched on the alien device and watched triumphantly as Joseph collapsed onto his knees. "You don't want to obey my orders? You want me to get out of your life?" Frustrated, Astra dialed the pain volume higher. "You mean nothing to me! I created you and now I'm going to destroy you."

 

Joseph shook violently and he slumped forward, hitting the concrete. "I'll never serve you!" He was holding on to Remy's love, trying to forget her spiteful words as she'd reminded him of the fact that he was only a *clone*.

 

"I'm so through with you," Astra announced and dialed the pain up to the maximum. "It should take you less than one minute to die!"

 

"Non!" Remy screamed and launched himself at her, but Astra jumped out of the way. Now that his plan had been thwarted, he crawled over to Joseph. Reaching out, he tapped into Joseph's pain, trying to absorb it.

 

Astra laughed. "I can't believe that you care about a clone! He's worthless!"

 

Remy raised his eyes and glared at her. Joseph's pain was almost too much for him and he forced himself to hold onto the link. Suddenly, a telepathic voice snaked into his mind.

 

//You're an empath, Remy. Use the pain to take her down! Channel Joseph's pain in to her mind!//

 

Merde! Why hadn't he thought of that before? "An eye for an eye," he hissed and channeled Joseph's pain in to her mind.

 

Astra screamed out as the pain slammed into her head. She tried switching off the alien device, but her sight was blurry and she swayed on her feet.

 

While Remy attacked Astra empathically, he also tried to gauge Joseph's condition. Shocked, he found that his lover was no longer breathing and bleeding from his nose, eyes and ears. "NON!" he yelped in agony. "Y' can' die on me!" Panicking, his hold on Astra's mind weakened. He couldn't lose Joseph like this! His lover wasn't supposed to die!

 

Astra acted at once and tried to activate the device that would teleport her out. The clone was dead and she no longer had a reason to stay.

 

///

 

A lone figure that had been watching the scene, stepped away from his cover. Instinctively, he morphed and hurried over to his son. //Remy, stay focused! You can't allow her to leave!//

 

Startled, Remy tried to identify the voice inside his head. Suddenly, he realized it was Essex's. //Leave me alone!// he sent back. Desperately, he performed CPR on his lover's lifeless body. "Breathe! Breathe! Don' die on me!" He massaged Joseph's heart and then breathed oxygen into his lover's lungs.

 

Essex, who had morphed into Sinister, came to a stop in front of his son. "Let me check on Joseph. You've got to deal with Astra!" Sinister pushed Remy away from Joseph and glared at him. "Take her out! Protect your lover!"

 

Shaking violently, Remy's glance traveled from Sinister to Astra. Seeing Sinister hover over Joseph, awoke his protective feelings. Sinister wasn't supposed to be touching Joseph, but Remy knew that he couldn't help his lover. Sinister was the only one who might be able to save Joseph.

 

Turning around, Remy faced Astra, who was trying to activate her teleportation device. "Y're gonna pay for what y' did to Josep'!" Astra managed to raise her weapon and took aim, but Remy reacted at once. Extending his hands, he released the kinetic energy that was crawling beneath his skin.

 

Sinister quickly checked Joseph's vital signs and found that the other man was clinically dead. He needed to transport Joseph to his lab if he wanted to resuscitate him. Opening a tesserect, he lifted Joseph's body in his arms and stepped through it. It would take him straight to his Genetic Lab outside of St. Louis, Missouri.

 

Astra screamed as the kinetic charge hit her armor and ate itself a way through it. Unable to stop the kinetic energy from attacking her body beneath the armor, she collapsed onto her knees. Her body couldn't deal with the destructive energy that was destroying her organs and blood vessels and her heart stopped beating.

 

"Remy! Watch out! It's Sinister!" Bobby called out to the Cajun, seeing Sinister pick up Joseph's body and then disappear with it through the tesserect.

 

Quickly turning around, Remy saw the tesserect close behind Sinister! "Non!" he yelped helplessly and sunk to his knees, sobbing and shaking all over his body. "Sorry, cher... I failed y'." Why had his father taken Joseph's dead body with him? Now he couldn't even sit with his dead lover and mourn his death! Why was Essex so intent on hurting him?

 

"Bobby! Warren, Remy!" Scott had witnessed Remy releasing his kinetic energy without the help of his cards and shivered. He only knew one other person who could channel his power through the palm of his hands. Sinister! So how was it possible that Remy showed the same ability?

 

"Scott!" Bobby sighed, relieved, and caught sight of Hank, who was running towards them. "It's Warren... he's having trouble breathing!" His hand still rested on Warren's chest to carefully monitor the other man's breathing.

 

Hank didn't waste any time and began to examine Warren. "Scott, I want Bobby and Warren in the medlab. Now!"

 

Jean, Storm and even Rogue hurried to help and they flew their injured team mates and Hank back to the mansion.

 

"Remy?" Scott was the only one who stayed behind and he slowly walked over to the Cajun. Sitting down on his heels, he tried to catch Remy's gaze. The Cajun was kneeling on the concrete and Scott carefully reached out to him, resting a hand on Remy's shoulder. "What happened? Did Sinister..."

 

Remy interrupted Scott, never looking at his team leader. "He took Josep' wit' him," he whispered, defeated. Remy wished he could still cry, but the tears no longer came. "I'll never see Joe 'gain."

 

"Remy..." Scott finally established eye contact with the Cajun. Remy's eyes were swimming with unshed tears. "We'll find Joseph. I'll ask the professor to use Cerebro to locate Sinister."

 

"Josep' wasn' breathin' when I got to him." Defeated, Remy bowed his head. "I really loved him."

 

"Remy, we'll get him back," Scott promised passionately. "Please accompany me back to the mansion. You need to calm down."

 

Remy stared at Astra's lifeless body. "I didn' wanna kill her..."

 

"You didn't have a choice. She would have used her weapon and..."

 

"She killed Josep'," Remy finished Scott's sentence. "I don' t'ink I can make it wit'out him." His apathy had returned and shutting out the world sounded tempting, but Scott wouldn't let him retreat into his mind.

 

Scott took a deep breath and slowly helped Remy to his feet. He had to wrap an arm around the Cajun's waist to keep him from falling. "We'll find him," he repeated his earlier promise and averted his glance, seeing the unshed tears that never left Remy's eyes. "I know you loved him."

 

"I didn' wanna lose him like dis, not to Essex!" Enraged, Remy tried to stay calm. "I should have died instead of Joe... Den he would have taken my corpse! It's me Essex wants!" His father had no right to steal his lover's corpse!

 

Scott thought he'd misheard. "Remy, why would Sinister want you?"

 

Remy no longer saw a reason to hold on to his secrets, as he planned on joining Joseph in death shortly. A life without Joseph wasn't worth living. "'cause he's my father, Scott."

 

Scott almost jerked away from Remy. Only his training prevented him from letting the Cajun stumble over his own two feet. Tightening his hold, he dragged Remy with him as they headed for the mansion. "You don't know what you're saying... you're in shock!" Did Remy really believe that Sinister was his father?

 

"Y' saw me shoot dose blasts from my hands! Just look at my eyes!" Growing agitated, Remy pulled free from Scott. Unable to stay on his feet unaided, he leaned against a tree for support.

 

"Hank needs to check on you," Scott said determinedly, growing worried because he feared that Remy was delusional.

 

"Let me go, Scott," Remy whispered. "I need to find Joseph. I can't believe I almost trusted Essex to take care of Joseph!"

 

"Uh? Remy? Your accent?" Scott wished he knew what was going on. Remy's behavior was unsettling.

 

"I don't have time for this, Scott. Where did he go? Where's Essex's base?" Remy faced Scott, grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "You know where his base is! Tell me!"

 

"Remy..."

 

The soft voice took both men completely by surprise and Remy quickly spun around. While glaring at Essex, he yelled, "What did you do to him? Take me, but let him go!" Remy flung himself at his father and banged his fists into Essex's chest.

 

Scott was ready to launch an attack, but something kept him back. Fascinated, he watched Essex fold an arm around Remy's waist. What the hell was going on? Why had Sinister morphed back into Essex and why was there a gentle expression in the scientist's eyes? //No, Remy was delirious, hallucinating. Essex can't be his father!// But it had to be true. How else could he explain the tenderness in Essex's gestures?

 

"I'll take you to Joseph," Essex offered and gestured at the tesserect behind him. "You've got to trust me, Remy."

 

"I don't have a choice... father," Remy whispered and avoided looking at Scott, knowing that he would find only loathing on his team leader's face. Essex extended his right hand and Remy calmly accepted, curling his fingers around his father's. //I'm making the biggest mistake of my life,// he thought, frightened.

 

Scott could only watch helplessly as Essex led Remy to the tesserect. A moment later, both men were gone.

 

Shocked, Scott tried to accept the fact that Remy was Sinister's son and failed miserably. Maybe discussing this with the professor and Jean would help him accept the truth. Worn down by the day's events, he started for the mansion, eager to check on Warren and Bobby's condition.

 

Part 13

 

"Robert, you should be lying down." Concerned, Hank tried to steer Bobby's wheelchair back to his patient's bed. He'd put Bobby's leg in a cast from the hip down and was trying hard to convince his friend to rest. Thankfully, except for the broken knee, Bobby had only suffered scratches and a bump at the back of his head.

 

He'd given Bobby something to numb the pain in his leg, hoping it would urge his patient to lie down and rest. But the exact opposite had happened. Bobby had lowered himself onto a wheelchair and was now sitting next to Warren. "He can't hear you," Hank said softly.

 

Bobby rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. His other hand had a tight hold on Warren's. "He's going to be awright, isn't he, Hank?" Bobby swallowed hard. Hank had hooked Warren up to a respirator and two IV's disappeared into the back of Warren's left hand. His friend's chest had been bandaged, keeping the broken rib from puncturing his lung.

 

"He was very lucky," Hank whispered and rested his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "If he had fought Remy when our Cajun friend pulled him from the car, that rib would have pierced his lung." Closely observing Bobby, Hank sighed. "Why don't you tell him?" As far as Hank knew Bobby had only confided in him. Finding out that his friend was in love with Warren had only slightly surprised him. Bobby had told him some time ago that he liked men best.

 

"I can't tell him, Hank and you know it!" Leaning back, Bobby released a strangled sigh. His knee would give him hell later, but he refused to lie down. He had to maintain physical contact with Warren now that his friend was in such a bad way.

 

"He's breathing on his own," Hank assured Bobby. "The respirator is just helping him breathe."

 

"Hank, he's going to make a full recovery, isn't he? Please tell me he will!" Bobby looked up pleadingly.

 

"Yes, he will." Hank considered making another effort to convince Bobby to lie down, but saw the determination in his friend's eyes. "You should tell him," he repeated his earlier advise. "What if Warren had died? You would never have had the chance to tell him how you truly feel."

 

Bobby lowered his eyes and rubbed Warren's fingers. He dared to touch Warren now that his friend was unconscious and unaware of the caress. Bobby knew he would instinctively pull back once Warren woke up.

 

Hank gave up on talking some sense in to Bobby and returned to his computer to update his team mates' medical files. From the corner of his eye he continued to watch Bobby closely.

 

///

 

Remy allowed Essex to lead him into Joseph's room and he cringed, seeing the electrodes that were attached to his lover's chest and brow. A respirator was breathing for him and Remy leaned heavily against the wall to support himself. "How bad is he?" he asked, afraid to learn the answer, but he had to know! Joseph looked like he was merely asleep.

 

"His nerve system collapsed and his organs stopped functioning," Essex said, trying to explain Joseph's condition in words Remy would understand. "His heart is no longer beating. He's clinically dead."

 

Remy closed his eyes, trying to be strong. "Why hook him up to all this equipment when he's dead?"

 

Essex looked Remy in the eyes and said, "I can use his DNA to grow a new body for him. That would also take care of the alien device Astra imbedded in his cerebral cortex and brain tissue."

 

"You want to clone him?" Remy whispered, horrified. He was fighting an anxiety attack, hearing Essex's suggestion. "I can't make that decision!"

 

Essex was tempted to squeeze Remy's shoulder soothingly, but stopped himself from reaching out. It was obvious that Remy didn't trust him and he realized that they needed to take things slow. He had to prove to Remy that he was sincere and in return he expected his son to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he knew that Remy had absolutely no reason to trust him, but he hoped that Remy's empathic abilities would pick up on his sincerity and thus give him a chance to prove himself.

 

"I can't revive this body," Essex said, trying to get through to his son. "But I can clone a new body in a few hours."

 

"What about his personality? His memories?" Remy asked softly. "Will he remember who he is? Who I am? That I love him?" He couldn't believe that he was actually considering allowing Essex to clone his lover, but there was no alternative. Joseph deserved a second shot at life.

 

Essex considered Remy's question carefully. "I'll be honest with you, son." He heard Remy's sharp intake of breath at hearing that last word. "There's always a small chance that he won't remember some things, usually just details, but he will remember everything up to Astra's attack, including your love for him."

 

"He'll hate me," Remy stuttered, feeling ashamed that he wanted to accept his father's proposal.

 

"Why?" Essex moved a little closer. "Because of your decision he will live again."

 

"You don't know how hard it was on him to accept that Astra cloned him. I was scared I'd lose him." Remy had settled back into using his old speech pattern and he found that subconsciously, he trusted Essex. He just hoped that Essex wouldn't morph into Sinister in front of him. He could accept that Essex was standing beside him, offering his help, but had his father been in Sinister's form he would have bolted. The pain that he associated with Sinister was still very fresh. //Am I going mad? They are one and the same person and yet I think of them as separate beings!//

 

"Remy?" Essex was growing worried now that his son remained silent.

 

"Do it," Remy said determinedly. "He'd want to live again... I hope..." He liked to think that Joseph would want to come back to spend the rest of their lives with him. There was no way back now that he'd made his decision.

 

"You seem tired," Essex observed and wondered how much releasing his kinetic energy through the palms of his hands had drained Remy. //He also used his empathy to fight Astra and his telepathy to call out to Xavier.// "Why don't you lie down? I'll be busy and there is nothing you can do to help."

 

Gently, Essex steered Remy away from Joseph and led him into the next room. He noticed that his son began to tremble and caught his eyes. "What is it?"

 

"I remember waking up in here after you resuscitated me." He'd opened his eyes in this very room after Essex had brought him back. Quickly, he sat down on the bed as his knees refused to carry him any longer. Then, he remembered something Joseph had once said and looked at his father. "Do you have a drug called Zoloft? I'm supposed to take two pills a day and I forgot..."

 

Essex gave Remy a thoughtful look. "Are you suffering from depression?" He'd never considered his son could be depressed, but now that he thought about it, it made sense. "You're trying to deal with your death..."

 

"That's one thing," Remy replied and watched Essex walk over to the medicine cabinet and take out a vial. "I'm also trying to deal with the fact that... you're back in my life."

 

Feeling awkward, Essex opened the vial and handed Remy one pill along with a glass of water. "I don't really know how to handle the unexpected return of my feelings." Essex supervised Remy as he swallowed the pill and then said, "I feel strongly protective of you. I only felt like this about Adam and Rebecca. It's... unsettling to feel again."

 

Remy lay down and rolled onto his side, still facing Essex. After gathering his courage, he asked, "Would you tell me about my mother?"

 

Essex flinched. He should have known that Remy would ask him that question. "Rebecca is your mother."

 

"But..." Startled, Remy sat upright. "But she died 150 years ago!" He vaguely recalled that Essex had told him about his wife when he'd been little. Later on, he'd successfully repressed most of the things that his father had told him.

 

"But her DNA is still alive," Essex admitted, guiltily. "It took me over a hundred years to accept Adam's death." He decided against telling Remy in detail how he'd been created.

 

"Did you clone her?" Remy asked in a tiny tone.

 

"No, I only used her DNA." The bitter truth was that in his darkest hour he'd been tempted to clone his wife, but in the end, he'd not given in to the dark urge to have her close again. Turning away from his son, he headed for the doorway. "I suggest you try to sleep. I'll wake you the moment Joseph regains consciousness."

 

Exhausted, Remy nodded his head. "Don't let me sleep too long. I want to be there when he opens his eyes for the first time."

 

"Of course," Essex agreed and allowed a small smile to surface on his face. This was his chance to prove to his son that he was sincere and he wouldn't let Remy down!

 

///

 

"I can't believe it, sir!" Scott paced the professor's office. Apart from Xavier, Jean was also present. "Remy took Essex's hand and they disappeared through the tesserect!"

 

"Scott," Jean started, sensing how upset her husband was, "are you sure Remy said that Essex was his father? Maybe he was in shock after seeing Joseph die."

 

Scott spun around. "That's exactly what I said, Jean! I told Remy that he was in shock and not thinking straight!"

 

"What convinced you that Remy was telling the truth?" Charles asked, his suspicions had been right after all.

 

"You should have seen the expression in Essex's eyes." Scott shivered. "He almost looked concerned and Remy didn't pull away when Essex extended his hand."

 

Jean locked eyes with the professor. "Isn't it odd that Sinister would choose to appear as Essex in public?"

 

Charles sighed deeply. "I never wanted to voice my suspicions, but now that Remy has revealed the truth I can speak freely." His glance traveled from Jean to Scott. "I always suspected that Remy and Sinister were related."

 

"Because of the eyes?" Scott ventured.

 

"You read his file," Charles reminded him. "Who's listed as his father?"

 

Scott nodded his head once. "He was adopted by Jean-Luc LeBeau. Remy never gave us the name of his biological parents." Scott realized that the signs had been there, he'd just ignored them. "And then there's Sinister's continued involvement when it comes down to Remy."

 

"Why did Sinister need Remy to gather the Marauders?" Charles tapped with a pen on his desk. "He'd gathered thugs before, we know that."

 

 "Do you think he set up his own son?" Jean asked, horrified. "We know now that Remy witnessed the massacre and as an empath he must have felt their pain."

 

"But Sinister doesn't feel a thing, he made a pact with Apocalypse, remember?" Charles realized that he should have acted sooner, now it might be too late. "We need to locate Sinister. I want Remy back at the mansion, unharmed."

 

Scott nodded once, he agreed with the professor. "Sinister will hurt Remy again."

 

"You're not mad with Remy?" Charles asked, pleased. He'd expected Scott to be angry now that Remy turned out to be related to Sinister. Scott might have felt betrayed, but apparently he also understood that Remy had suffered greatly because of his father's identity.

 

"Having Sinister for a father must be a nightmare for Remy, sir. He'll need his friends to help him through it." Scott smiled weakly. "I don't know how I would have reacted, finding out that Sinister was my father. I think Remy did very well, considering the disadvantages he had."

 

Jean walked over to her husband and placed her hand in his. "And that's exactly why I love you, Scott."

 

///

 

Warren's eyes flashed open and he almost choked, realizing that something obstructed his trachea. After forcing himself to calm down he tried to take in his surroundings and he immediately recognized Hank's medlab. Relieved, he tried to sigh, but the tube prevented that. //Hank put me on the respirator, // he realized, shocked.

 

Then he recalled the pain that had sliced through his chest and then everything tumbled back into his mind. The car had crashed and he'd tried to get Bobby out of the car. //Why didn't he ice up?// Warren wondered. //We weren't thinking straight...//

 

The next thing he became aware of were the bandages that Hank had applied around his chest. After trying to move his toes and fingers, he felt relieved. Briefly, he had been scared that his injuries had been way more severe. He shifted on the bed to give his wings more space. However, his eyes grew big and his movement froze at the blinding pain that shot through his chest. Tears sprang from his eyes and he wished he hadn't woken up at all. //But losing my wings was worse...//

 

Warren cocked his head a little, trying to figure out why something heavy rested on his shoulder. The first thing he saw was brown hair and a moment later, he realized that it was Bobby, who lay slumped forward, his head brushing his shoulder. //What are you doing here?// Bobby had been injured as well and should be resting in bed!

 

Carefully, Warren managed to place his hand over Bobby's and gave it a good squeeze. Bobby didn't disappoint him and the younger man's head jerked up. Bobby had a few scratches on his brow and his friend was pinching his eyes as if the light hurt.

 

"Hank!" Bobby exclaimed at once. "Warren's awake!" Nervously, he met his friend's eyes. "You're going to be okay, Warren." He couldn't help but gently squeeze Warren's hand in return. Right now, he needed the physical contact, especially since he'd been afraid that Warren's injuries might have been fatal. 

 

Hank joined his patients and checked Warren's vital signs. "I had to put you on a respirator while you were unconscious," he explained. Seeing that Warren was holding Bobby's hand, Hank said, "Squeeze once for yes and two for no."

 

Warren squeezed once to show that he understood and Bobby smiled, relieved. "Hey, you're going to be fine, man."

 

Hank smiled, wondering when Warren would realize that Bobby had a crush on him. Warren wasn't stupid and now that Bobby was worried the younger man's feelings were written all over his face. "Does your chest hurt?"

 

Warren squeezed Bobby's hand once and Hank nodded his head. "That's to be expected. You have two broken ribs and one almost punctured your left lung. Luckily, you didn't fight Remy when he pulled you out of that car. I'll give you some stronger pain medication."

 

Bobby saw Warren's confused expression and realized that his friend might have a hard time remembering everything that had happened. "Joseph and Remy arrived right after the crash. Remy pulled us from the car, just moments before it exploded."

 

//Remy?// Warren wished he could ask Bobby questions, but right now the respirator made that impossible. Searching his memory, he vaguely recalled seeing the Cajun inside the car, unbuckling him. Why would Remy come to the rescue? //I made it very clear that I can't stand him and yet he helped me?//

 

"Warren, I want you to stay on the respirator for the next 24 hours and then you can try to breathe unaided. Do you understand?" Hank watched Warren's hand, which squeezed Bobby's once. "And would you please tell Bobby to lie down and get some rest? He has a broken knee and a concussion."

 

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Astra rammed the butt end of her gun into my skull."

 

Warren squeezed Bobby's hand again, telling his friend that yes, he wanted Bobby to rest.

 

Seeing the stern expression in Warren's eyes Bobby knew he'd lost the game, but not the battle. "Hey, my bed is next to yours, so that's kinda cool." He knew he was babbling, but couldn't stop himself. His relief needed a way out.

 

Reluctantly, Warren released Bobby's hand and with his eyes he asked Hank to help the younger man to his bed.

 

When Bobby finally stretched his body, he realized just how tired he really was. Now that his leg was horizontal with his body most of the pain was gone. "Thanks, Hank!"

 

"Now get some rest, both of you!" Hank said firmly. Bobby's eyes were already closing and he waited until his younger friend was soundly asleep. Then he walked over to Warren.

 

"Bobby's been sitting with you for the last 2 hours. He refused to lie down until you regained consciousness." Hank considered his next move, uncertain how much he could reveal to Warren. "He cares a great deal about you, but you already know that..." Warren closed his eyes once in reply and Hank nodded his head. "Bobby... loves you," he added hesitantly.

 

Again, Warren closed his eyes once. Every doubt he'd had, had been washed away. He knew that Bobby was in love with him. Bobby had probably been in love with him for years!

 

"You might want to think about..." Hank's voice trailed off, leaving the most important part unspoken. Warren had to figure out the rest himself. He placed the buzzer in Warren's hand and said, "Press it, should you need me."

 

Warren's eyes closed due to exhaustion and Hank used that opportunity to fill a syringe with a stronger painkiller, which he injected into Warren's IV. Reassured that his friends would be asleep for the next few hours, he returned to his research.

 

///

 

Essex sneaked into Remy's room and watched his son sleep. During the last few hours he had tried hard to understand why he'd asked Apocalypse to take away his feelings and his conscience. Now that his emotions were back, he began to remember the good times Rebecca and he had shared. Why had he been so obsessed? So driven to continue his experiments?

 

Looking back at his past actions, he felt ashamed and marvelled about that feeling. Shame, he hadn't felt ashamed in over 150 years. "I could do without that feeling," he whispered, but then reconsidered. Wasn't the fact that he had these feelings the one thing that made him human and set him apart from the likes of Apocalypse?

 

"I made the biggest mistake of my life when I made that pact with Apocalypse." Now that he was re-experiencing love, affection, protectiveness and need, he wondered why he'd ever given up those emotions.

 

"Rebecca... Rebecca knew me. She tried to pull me back from the abyss, but it was too late." Looking at Remy, he caught one or two features that reminded him of his Rebecca. Remy had reacted far better to learning his mother's identity than he had expected. //Maybe he doesn't really understand yet what I told him?// Maybe shock would hit his son later.

 

"All these years... I wasted all these years," he whispered melancholy. If he had chosen a different path he might have been able to be there for Remy when his son was growing up. But no, he had been too busy conducting research and making plans to improve the gene pool which he was experimenting with. His obsession with genetic research had become his downfall and the victories he had achieved were stained with the blood of the innocent.

 

When he'd prepared the tank in which he would grow Joseph's body, his eyes had drifted off to the other tanks, holding grown Marauders; his secret stock. He'd stood before each tank for long moments and then he'd pulled the plug on them. The clones didn't suffer; as they had never been conscious.

 

//The Marauders... I assembled them to bring Remy to his knees. I knew that he would hate himself when he found out about the Massacre, but I never expected him to run.// Remy didn't know that it had been Sinister who had gathered his son in his arms after Sabertooth had shredded Remy's chest. He'd tended to his son's wounds, but he'd made one mistake. Unable to take Remy to his base, he'd resorted to treating his son's injuries in a regular hospital where he worked in the guise of a surgeon. Although he'd tried hard to isolate Remy, his son had found a way to escape the ward when his wounds had almost healed. 

 

As he looked at Remy's brow, he saw the fine lines of suffering etched onto his son's forehead and *he* had put them there, but maybe he could still try to make up for his past mistakes.

 

Walking over to his son, he said softly, "Remy, it's time to wake up. Joseph will regain consciousness in a few minutes." Remy stirred and Essex repeated his words. A confused expression shone from Remy's eyes and Essex forced himself to smile. Now that he realized how deeply he'd hurt his son, he felt ashamed.

 

"Where... am I?" Remy looked about. At first, he thought he was still dreaming, but then he recalled that Essex had stolen Joseph's body and then his father had come back for him. Essex was going to clone Joseph so his lover would live again and be free of Astra's device.

 

Slowly, Remy pushed himself into a sitting position, refusing Essex's help. "I want to see him."

 

"Of course," Essex replied. Concerned, he watched Remy clumsily put his feet onto the floor. He feared that his son's knees would give out on him so he tried to support Remy.

 

"Don't," Remy whispered. "I don't need your help. I can do this." No longer bothering with his Cajun accent, he looked straight into Essex's eyes. "Take me to him!"

 

Essex nodded his head once. "Follow me."

 

///

 

Remy felt immensely grateful that his father had taken Joseph's body from the tank before calling him. As he looked at the motionless body on the exam table, shivers ran down his spine. What if Joseph would be mad as hell because he'd allowed Essex to clone a new body?

 

"I already transferred his memory, knowledge and personality into his new body," Essex explained and began to remove the electrodes that were attached to Joseph's body. "When he wakes up, he'll recall Astra's attack and *maybe* dying... You'll have to explain to him what happened, why he's alive again."

 

"Would you leave Joseph and me alone?" Remy asked pleadingly. He didn't think he could tell Joseph the truth with Essex standing there, looking over his shoulder.

 

"I'll give you some privacy after I made sure that the transfer was successful." Essex saw that Remy still stood near the doorway, seemingly afraid to approach his lover. "He'll need your support when he wakes up."

 

"Yes," Remy whispered. "I remember how it felt to come back from the dead." Remy shivered. "Why did you bring me back?" he asked his father. His empathy hadn't been that powerful back then so there hadn't been any 'fatherly feelings' that had urged Essex to look after him.

 

"I wanted you at my side," Essex admitted. "I would have found a way to keep you close to me."

 

Essex's honesty was unexpected and Remy blinked his eyes. "What if the empathy hadn't kicked in?"

 

Essex shook his head. "Let's not discuss that possibility."

 

Joseph moaned softly and Remy was drawn closer to his lover. Unable to speak, he watched entranced as Joseph's eyelids fluttered.

 

"Everything seems fine," Essex mumbled pleased. "I'll leave the two of you alone now." As he exited his lab, he looked over his shoulder and saw fear and hope in his son's eyes. Closing the door behind him, he realized that he needed to do a lot of thinking now that Remy had turned his life upside down.

 

///

 

Joseph released a keening wail as his memories returned. The last thing he remembered was clutching his head and praying that the pain would stop. He would never forget the malignant expression in Astra's eyes and then... then Remy had appeared at his side, trying to take away his worst pain.

 

"Remy?" he whispered his lover's name and wondered why his voice sounded different or was that just his imagination?

 

"Joseph," Remy replied softly and walked up to the bed. He never expected Joseph to leap to his feet and pull him close. Speechless, he surrendered to his lover's embrace.

 

Joseph felt wobbly on his feet and pulled Remy down with him to sit on the exam table. //Wait, an exam table? The last thing I remember is hitting concrete!// He was about to ask Remy where they were, when he felt his lover's tears drip onto his bare skin. Quickly, he checked if he was wearing clothes and found that he was only wearing some kind of medical gown. "Shst, it's going to be all right, sexy."

 

Hearing that pet name, Remy locked eyes with his lover. How much did Joseph remember?

 

"Where are we, Remy?" Joseph tightened the embrace, sensing Remy's fear and distress. The empath's defenses were down.

 

"You're going to be *so* mad with me," Remy sobbed, recalling Joseph's vehement reaction when he'd suggested going to Sinister to remove the alien device in his brain. "You won't love me no more."

 

"Remy, tell me what happened. I remember that Astra turned up the pain and that you tried to absorb my agony, but... then what?" Pleadingly, Joseph looked into Remy's eyes. "Trust me, sexy."

 

Remy knew that he couldn't stall much longer and sobbed, "Astra killed you. You were clinically dead and then my father appeared and carried you off and I wanted to fight him, didn't want him to grab your body like that, but the tesserect closed and..."

 

"Remy, breathe!" Joseph gently took hold of Remy's shoulders and shook him slightly. "There's no need to panic, sexy."

 

"Essex cloned your body!" Remy wished he could take back those words, seeing the expression in his lover's eyes. Quickly, he tried to explain. "The alien device destroyed your nerve endings, caused your organs to stop functioning and your heart... it was no longer beating. Essex couldn't repair the damage and cloning your body was the only way to bring you back!" Remy tried to stop crying, but failed. "The alien device is gone as well."

 

Joseph drew in a deep breath and then grinned. "So he cloned me?"

 

"Yes, I can't live without you, cher." Remy had always liked that pet name and it sounded so right! "When you died, the only thing I could think about was taking my own life."

 

"Oh, Remy," Joseph sighed and pulled his lover close to his chest. "I understand why you allowed your father to clone me."

 

"You do?" Remy peeked at Joseph's eyes and was surprised to find his lover smiling.

 

"I can't say that being cloned... *again*... doesn't bother me, it does, but if it means that I can spend the rest of my life with you I gladly pay the price."

 

In disbelief, Remy gazed into Joseph's eyes. "You aren't mad with me?"

 

"No, I'm thankful that you had the guts to give us a second chance, sexy." Joseph held his breath as Remy's hysterical laughter echoed through the room. "Hey, it's okay. It's over."

 

"No, it isn't," Remy stated. "Essex is still around."

 

"You think he will try to stop us from leaving?" Joseph got back to his feet and cursed the damn medical gown. Reaching behind his back, he pulled the gown closer to his body.

 

Remy smiled fondly. "I like your ass, cher," he whispered into Joseph's ear. Within seconds he'd gone from severely depressed to incredibly relieved.

 

"We'll find a way out of here, *together*," Joseph promised. "We'll convince your father to let us go."

 

Remy grew uncharacteristically quiet. "What if he doesn't want to let us go?" Only moments ago, Essex had admitted to staging the Morlocks' Massacre to keep him close.

 

Essex chose that moment to return to his lab. Watching Joseph and his son closely, he realized that they planned on leaving him and for the first time in over 150 years, he feared the loneliness that would follow after their departure.

 

Part 14

 

"Breathe out," Hank instructed and removed the tube that had been helping Warren breathe.

 

"Ouch..." Warren mumbled in a hoarse tone. "Hurts..." His throat felt like sandpaper and every time he swallowed, a stabbing pain moved down his trachea. "Wa... ter?"

 

"Here!" Bobby, who sat in his wheelchair again, handed Warren a glass of water, but his friend's hand trembled too badly to drink unaided. Bobby moved closer and curled his fingers around Warren's, steadying his friend. "That's a lot betta, huh?"

 

Warren weakly nodded his head and then looked concerned at Bobby. "How... are... you... doing?" He recalled that Astra had hit the back of Bobby's head hard. Seeing the expression in Bobby's eyes, he realized that he had to confront his friend's feelings. He couldn't let this continue. "Hank, give... us a moment?"

 

Hank checked the IV's and then nodded his head. "You know where to find me," he said and left the two men alone. A wicked grin flashed across his features. He had a good idea why Warren wanted some privacy. Hopefully Warren would go easy on Bobby. //I don't even know how Warren feels about Bobby being in love with him!// he realized.

 

Warren waited until Hank had left and then looked into Bobby's sparkling eyes. Ever since Hank had told them that he could do without the respirator, Bobby had practically been bouncing in his bed and later on in his wheelchair. "Bobby?"

 

"Yeah?" Bobby smiled and leaned back. He hated being stuck in the wheelchair, but Hank had adviced against icing up, which would damage the cast badly. This time he had to take things slow and let his knee heal, but the good thing was that he had company while recovering. He felt immensely relieved that Warren would make a full recovery. "Looks like we'll be stuck in medlab together for the next few days, though I got the feeling Hank will release me first," he teased.

 

"Bobby... water?" Warren's throat continued to burn and as Bobby moved in closer to rest the glass against his lips, he quickly wrapped his fingers around Bobby's, keeping his friend in place.

 

Bobby arched a surprised eyebrow. Warren had better stop touching him like that or he might end up kissing him breathless. //I'd gladly sell my soul to kiss those lips,// he thought, dreamily.

 

"We need to talk," Warren said, after releasing Bobby's hand so the younger man could place the glass back onto the nightstand.

 

"About the crash?" Bobby didn't really know what to make of Warren's expression. He couldn't remember ever seeing that particular look in his friend's eyes before.

 

Slowly, Warren shook his head. "About your feelings for me." He hoped he had enough strength left to properly conduct this conversation; so much depended on it!

 

Alarmed, Bobby averted his eyes. //He can't know that I'm in love with him! I've been so careful...// A startling thought hit him. //What if Hank told him? No, Hank wouldn't do that to me!// Bobby licked his lips and said, "What feelings?"

 

"Are you in love with me?" Warren preferred the direct approach, as he didn't want Bobby to go through a lot of anxiety. Bobby's sharp intake of breath told him that he'd been right after all, that and the fact that Bobby immediately lowered his eyes. "Bobby, if you are in love with me please be honest and tell me." His hand moved over the blankets and found Bobby's.

 

Bobby stared at Warren's hand as if it were a poisonous snake. "Please don't ask me to say the words," he pleaded eventually. "I never wanted you to find out."

 

"Why?" Warren squeezed Bobby's hand, trying to reassure his friend. "Were you afraid that I would be mad with you?"

 

"I was afraid that you'd end our friendship," Bobby whispered, barely audible. He wished that he had the courage to pull back his hand, but he didn't want to appear impolite or unthankful. After all, Warren was reaching out to him. "And I didn't want to lose that. You're the best friend I ever had... If it hadn't been for you and Hank..." his voice trailed off, uncertain what to say to salvage the situation.

 

Warren tightened his hold on Bobby's hand and carefully considered his next words, which would determine their path. Although his mouth felt awfully dry, he forced himself to speak up. "Bobby, I love you as a friend. We've always been buddies..."

 

Bobby wanted to interrupt Warren to tell him that he knew where this was heading. Warren wouldn't want to be friends any longer now that he knew the truth.

 

"Listen... shit, this hurts..."

 

Concerned, Bobby looked up; he had never wanted to hurt Warren's feelings.

 

"My throat, dummy," Warren said quickly and realized how fragile their relationship was right now. "As I said, we're buddies and I don't want to lose your friendship. I suspected that you had a crush on me for some time."

 

Bobby's eyes grew big. "You knew?"

 

"I suspected it, yeah," Warren said and tried to reach for the water again, but it was out of his reach. Bobby reacted at once and allowed him to sip again. "Thanks," Warren whispered and locked eyes with Bobby, daring his friend to look away. "I never dated a guy before, Drake."

 

"Uhm, what are you talking about?" Bobby's tone mirrored his insecurity. Why had Warren made that remark?

 

"We're best friends already, Bobby. I'm not prejudiced or homophobic. I just never considered getting together with a man before." Warren grinned smugly seeing the play of emotions on Bobby's face. "You never saw that one coming..."

 

"But... why... I don't..." Bobby stuttered, unable to voice his thoughts. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

 

"Let's date for a while and see what happens. I can't make any promises that we'll work out and you'll have to go slow on me with ... you know... the physical aspect of our relationship. The bottom line is that I'm willing to try."

 

In sheer disbelief, Bobby stared at Warren. "You didn't say that..."

 

"I did. Come on, Bobby, this is your chance," he encouraged his friend and maybe soon to be lover.

 

"I still can't believe you said that..." Bobby stuttered, shyly. "Why do you wanna be with me?"

 

Warren privately cursed his sore throat. "Bobby, I believe we might work out. You know me best, even better than Bets did, you know what you're getting yourself in to and you still want me. On the other hand, I know how annoying you can be when you missed your favorite cartoons or if someone ate your Twinkies. We've been on Twinky runs together. Face it, Drake... we might work out."

 

Bobby suddenly realized that talking was downright painful for Warren because of his sore throat and he felt bad for making Warren explain his decision. //But it's good to hear he wants to try. Oh my God! I can't believe he wants to give this a chance!//  Bobby locked eyes with Warren and said, "I'll try hard to make this work, I promise."

 

"I know you will," Warren assured him and thankfully sipped from his water after Bobby had placed the glass against his lips. "I'm feeling tired, though..." He felt like he could fall asleep any moment now.

 

"That's okay, you need to rest," Bobby said softly and shyly, he rubbed the knuckles of Warren's hand. "Why don't you try to nap? Hank and the medlab will still be here when you wake up."

 

"Are you staying too, Bobby?" Warren smiled as his eyes slipped shut. Yeah, he had been thinking about this for a while, ever since he suspected that Bobby might be in love with him and he *knew* instinctively that he'd made the right decision. He liked Bobby a lot, liked his personality, even his annoying habits and maybe, just maybe, he might love Bobby back. He had a lot of soul searching to do, but thankfully Bobby would be at his side to guide him.

 

Bobby waited until Warren was soundly asleep and then brought the other man's hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss on the back of Warren's hand.

 

"You told him," Hank grinned smugly as he approached his patients.

 

"Actually, it was more like Warren telling me how he felt," Bobby realized and looked fondly at the winged man. "Are we going to regret taking this step, Hank? Does he even like guys in that way?" His insecurity continued to torment him.

 

"Shouldn't the question be, does he like *you* in that way?" Hank asked thoughtfully. "It's a known fact that people, who have been best friends for years, can feel attracted to each other," Hank offered. "Warren isn't prejudiced, he's even fairly open-minded. I guess that's what being a mutant does to you. You're inclined to look at someone's inner beauty when the outside doesn't look like what you're used to."

 

Hank recalled that Bobby had asked him two questions and not one. "And who can tell whether you're making a mistake? Who would have thought that Joseph and Remy would work out? Only time can tell, Robert."

 

"Thanks, Hank. I guess I just needed to hear it." Bobby smiled warmly as Warren squeezed his hand while still asleep.

 

///

 

Empathically, Remy reached out to Joseph for support. Facing Essex, he didn't know what to say.

 

Joseph sensed Remy's distress and uncertainty and decided to take the lead. "Thank you," he said, addressing Essex. "I feel as good as new."

 

Essex didn't know how to react, but eventually he realized that Joseph was trying to break the ice. "I want to see my son happy," he explained.

 

Remy bit his lip, wanting to remind his father of the Morlocks' Massacre, but Joseph's whispered words stopped him.

 

"You told me that Essex is sincere and truly cares about you now that his feelings are back," he said, addressing his lover. Joseph's glance shifted from Remy to Essex, hoping the former villain was on to his game plan.

 

Essex nodded his head. "I know you don't trust me, Remy, not after all the things I did to you, but I'm changing." And the change scared him. After 150 years he was being bombarded with feelings, his own and Remy's. As father and son they shared an empathic link that Remy wasn't even aware of, but Essex sensed his son's feelings clearly. Maybe it was because of his strong telepathic powers that he could read them so easily.

 

That was the opening Joseph had hoped for. "Remy, why don't you give your father a chance to get to know you? I don't know that much about..." he'd wanted to say Sinister, but decided differently. "About Essex, but he acted selflessly by resuscitating me. He did that for you, for us."

 

Essex felt grateful that Joseph was on his side. "I know that I can't play an active part in your life, Remy. I made too many mistakes to be allowed that privilege, but maybe we could stay in touch?"

 

"What are you going to do once we're gone?" Remy clung to Joseph for support. //I want to believe you so badly, father. What child doesn't want his father to love him?// "Are you going back to your...sinister ways?"

 

Saddened, Essex locked eyes with Remy and said, "Do you know who gave me that name? Sinister?"

 

"No," Remy replied, feeling nervous.

 

"Your mother Rebecca did. She had found out about my experiments, the risks I was taking, the... awful things I had done. She named me Sinister." Essex recalled how he'd violated his son's grave. He'd dug up Adam's body in a vain attempt to bring him back to life, to finally defeat death and he'd failed.

 

"I wish I'd known her..." Remy knew he would have loved her dearly. She sounded like a strong woman who had tried to fight for her love and convictions. "But you're not answering my question. Are you going back to..."

 

"Cloning the Marauders? Stalking Jean and Scott Summers?" Essex supplied, naming only a few of his activities. "No. I think I will concentrate on finding a remedy that will take care of the Legacy virus."

 

Amazed, Remy arched an eyebrow. "Beast is working on finding a cure as well." He wondered if he could actually make the suggestion he was thinking about. "Why don't the two of you exchange information? Maybe together you can defeat the Legacy virus."

 

Essex seemed hesitant to accept that suggestion. "You know that doctor McCoy wouldn't trust me and frankly, I don't blame him."

 

"What if I spoke to him?" Remy offered in a tiny tone.

 

"You would do that?" Essex felt proud of his son.

 

"I can try..." Remy met his father's gaze and smiled weakly. "Will you let us go now?"

 

"Of course. You aren't my prisoners." Essex regretted that they wanted to leave so soon. He'd looked forward to getting to know his son, but maybe he would get his chance later, once Remy had started to trust him. He hoped so. "I will take you back to Westchester."

 

"Uhm," Joseph started, pleased that father and son were opening up to each other, "do you have some decent clothes for me?" Seeing the expression in Remy's eyes, he knew he had to do something to lighten the mood. "I'm freezing my butt off!"

 

Remy burst out laughing and Essex joined in. "Yes, I think I got some spare clothes somewhere," Essex replied, amused.

 

"You're unbelievable, cher," Remy whispered fondly as Essex left to fetch those clothes. "Never change, you hear me?"

 

Seriously, Joseph nodded his head. "I won't."

 

///

 

"Hey, Drake, you're drooling on me!" Warren teased and amused, he watched Bobby's head jerk back. Only now did Warren realize that Bobby had never let go of his hand. Their fingers were still entwined. As Bobby's eyes opened, Warren found that he wouldn't mind waking up next to the other man first thing in the morning.

 

Over the years he had grown so damn comfortable around Bobby that at times they appeared to be joined at the hip. Bobby always tagged along and they had even double dated when Warren had found a new girlfriend and slowly, he had realized why Bobby stuck that close. //It was a good thing that he hasn’t sprung this on me earlier, I might have freaked...//

 

"Sorry about that," Bobby apologized, sleepily. "I don't usually drool, at least I don’t think so." Surprised, he took in Warren's smile. He still couldn't really believe that Warren had reacted that calmly to finding out that his best friend was in love with him, had been in love with him for years. Warren's reaction had completely stunned him. "Can I ask you something personal?" Bobby sat back in the wheelchair and saw that the fabric on Warren's shoulder was damp. Yeah, he had been drooling all right!

 

"Just say it," Warren encouraged Bobby.

 

"I'm not complaining about you giving me a chance to make things work, but I never expected you to be cool with it." Bobby fidgeted with a corner of the blanket that Hank had draped over his shoulders while he'd been asleep. "Aren't you, you know, like mad that your best friend has a thing for you? I'm a guy in case you hadn't noticed."

 

Warren chuckled. "I know you're a guy, Bobby. I kinda noticed that when we showered after training!"

 

Bobby blushed. "That's exactly what I mean, doesn't it repulse you that I wanna be intimate with you?" Bobby quickly looked away, was he really addressing this?

 

"Bobby," Warren started, cautiously, "I love you... you're my best friend. I can learn to touch you as a lover... in time. And yes, it will be new for me because I've never been with a guy before, but does the package matter that much? Man, woman, *alien*..." Bobby laughed and Warren joined him, careful not to jolt his broken ribs.

 

"Okay," Bobby chuckled. "I believe you, and we'll certainly take this slow. I still can't believe..."

 

Warren raised his right hand and rested a finger against Bobby's lips to shut him up. "Hey, that works!" he mumbled content, as Bobby stopped talking. "We'll figure things out..."

 

Bobby nodded his head once. "I love you," he whispered against Warren's finger. "I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you." Hesitantly, his other hand snuck closer to Warren's feathers to caress them. "Things got worse when you took me flying sometimes. I could feel your body heat through your clothes and..."

 

"Hey, Drake..." Warren started, "you can tell me about your erotic fantasies later. Why don't we try the kissing thing to start with?"

 

"The kissing thing?" Bobby repeated, stunned.

 

"Yeah, like you place your lips on mine and we kiss?" Warren teased. The blush on Bobby's face grew stronger. "I think I can handle the kissing thing."

 

Slowly, Bobby leaned forward and experimentally brushed Warren's lips. He expected to be pushed away, still convinced that Warren didn't know what he was getting himself in to, but when Warren kissed him back he allowed himself to grow hopeful. It was a chaste kiss, neither one yet daring to seek entry to the other one's mouth, but Bobby came up breathless nonetheless. Until now, kissing Warren had been a fantasy, something he'd never expected to happen in real life, which usually sucked big time.

 

"Yeah, I can definitely handle the kissing thing," Warren said smugly and smiled. Seeing the rapture in Bobby's eyes, he vowed to do his best to make this relationship work.

 

///

 

"Thank you... father," Remy said shyly. Essex had used a tesserect to take them back to the mansion. They'd arrived just outside the mansion's premises. Joseph, now dressed in grey sweats, was tightly holding his hand and Remy felt thankful that Joseph loved him that much.

 

"Your telepathy will continue to grow stronger," Essex told Remy. "Your shields are strong enough to contain your new powers. You can lower them and call out to me, should you ever want to talk to me again."

 

Remy read the expression in Essex's eyes and knew that his father hoped that there would be other talks. "I... would like that... to talk to you again..." he said, feeling a bit nervous. It was hard to accept that his father was back in his life. The Sinister he'd known seemed gone and in his place he found a gentle man, who regretted most of his life's decisions. "I'll tell doctor McCoy that you would like to work together on finding a cure for the Legacy virus."

 

Joseph watched them both and sensed the tension between them, but he didn't doubt that they would try to stay in contact, maybe even strengthen their new relationship.

 

Essex decided to make things a little easier on all of them and walked back towards his tesserect. "Remember that you've got a father now... " he whispered, looking over his shoulder at Remy.

 

"I will," Remy promised. Silently, he watched as the tesserect swallowed his father's form. A moment later, they were alone again.

 

"Come on, let's head for the mansion," Joseph said firmly and pulled his lover along after wrapping an arm around Remy's waist. Remy followed obediently, but seemed pre-occupied. Suddenly, Remy's sharp intake of breath alerted Joseph that something was wrong. "What?"

 

"Scott..." Remy stuttered, overwhelmed by one certain memory. "I told him that Essex is my father..." Shocked, he stopped dead in his tracks. "I can't go back to the mansion. Do you really think they'll want me there now that they know...?"

 

"Remy?" Joseph caught his lover in a hug. "You've got to face Scott and talk to him. Should you still want to leave after you had that conversation, we will."

 

"I'm not sure I can do this... what if he told the others as well?" Remy trembled.

 

"There's only one way to find out," Joseph said decisively and pulled Remy along. "You've got me to lean on, remember, sexy?"

 

Remy nodded his head once, but didn't feel that confident.

 

///

 

Scott picked up their presence first, as one security camera registered Joseph and Remy's return. Briefly, he wondered how Remy would react when facing him. Scott was determined to be understanding and forgiving, knowing that Remy had suffered greatly in the past. He was still trying to understand why a father would manipulate a son like Sinister had manipulated Remy and the Morlocks had paid the price.

 

Scott left the room and walked towards Remy and Joseph, as he wanted to talk to them before they encountered the others. Remy needed to know a few things.

 

Remy halted when he found Scott in front of him. The visor hid Scott's expression and Remy tried hard not to reach out empathically to probe Scott's feelings. "Allo, Cyke," he said, falling back into his old role. He might be comfortable enough to let his mask down around Joseph, but he wasn't ready to do the same thing with Scott around.

 

Joseph tightened his hold on Remy and gazed at Scott, wishing he knew how to help Remy. He knew that his lover would like to stay at the mansion, but if the X-Men reacted with loathing now that Remy was back, Joseph would pack their things and they would leave at once. "Scott," he said, waiting for Scott to start talking.

 

"Remy, we need to talk about... Essex." Scott had debated what to call his old nemesis, and remembering the look in Essex's eyes when he'd taken Remy's hand, he'd decided against using Sinister.

 

"I told y' de trut', Cyke. He's my father," Remy said, nervously. "Mais dere's somet'in' else y' need to know."

 

With newly found respect Joseph peeked at Remy. He'd never be able to pull off the accent like Remy did and he wondered what other things he would discover about his lover once they could spend some time alone.

 

Scott nodded his head, more than willing to listen. "Go ahead."

 

"Y' know I'm an empat'," Remy started, "mais y' don' know dat my empat'y brought back my father's feelings. As Sinister, he didn' have any emotions, mais now dat dey are back... he's a changed man."

 

Scott tried hard to understand. "Remy? I don't get it..."

 

"Essex cloned Josep'... Astra killed him and I couldn' imagine livin' wit'out him. I was t'inkin' 'bout takin' my own life and I was so scared... Josep' is de first person who I ever loved... and he loves me back."

 

Scott looked at them and saw that they were holding hands. "I'm not angry, Remy, if that's what you're worried about. Life can't have been easy for you, knowing your own father was planning your downfall."

 

Remy swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry..." he said, recalling the pain he'd felt in the tunnels when the Marauders had slaughtered the Morlocks.

 

"You're forgiven," Scott said and smiled. "But when I got back home I had to tell someone and Jean and the professor now also know that you're Essex's son."

 

"And what 'bout de ot'ers?" Remy asked, worried. He could live with Jean and Xavier knowing the truth, but what if Warren, Storm and Rogue ever found out?

 

"Your secret is safe with us." Scott walked towards them and extended his right hand. "Welcome home, Remy."

 

Dazed, Remy shook Scott's hand. "Merci, mon ami, mais what 'bout Warren and..."

 

"Don't worry about Warren. Bobby will keep Warren occupied," Scott quipped and signalled them to follow him inside.

 

///

 

"Go on, talk to him!" Scott gently nudged Remy inside and caught Joseph's amused glance as Remy and Warren made eye contact. "Warren won't bite," Scott teased.

 

Warren was alone, as Bobby had decided to take a shower and Hank was helping his patient so the cast wouldn't get wet. Seeing Remy, Joseph and Scott near the doorway, Warren waited for the Cajun to approach his bed. He knew that they needed to talk. "Hello, Remy," he said in a friendly tone.

 

Remy registered that gentle tone and surprised, he took a few steps closer to Warren's bed. "Allo, Warren." He didn't know what to say. Scott had dragged him to the medlab so Warren and he could talk things through and bury the hatchet.

 

"I owe you a big thank you," Warren said in a firm tone. "You saved Bobby's life and mine. Scott told me about Astra and who knows what might have happened if Joseph and you hadn't intervened."

 

"Y're welcome," Remy said, shyly. Now that he no longer felt the constant need to try to lock out Warren's feelings, he felt something that hadn't been there before and the feeling puzzled him.

 

"I'd like you to move back into the mansion," Warren continued. "I'll behave, I promise."

 

Remy looked at Warren thoughtfully. "Y're no longer mad wit' me for de... massacre and losin' y'r wings?"

 

"I've been blaming the wrong person," Warren admitted. "I'm sorry that I came down on you so hard."

 

Remy shrugged his shoulders. "Y' had every right to be mad wit' me."

 

"Hey, what's going on here?" Wrapped up in large towels and seated in his wheelchair, Bobby entered the room again. Hank was pushing his wheelchair and Bobby took in the scene in front of him. "Did the two of you talk?" His gaze traveled from Remy to Warren.

 

And suddenly Remy knew what the feeling was that was puzzling him. Love, Warren was radiating love and affection and Bobby was emanating the same feelings. "Mon Dieu..."

 

"Yeah, I got myself a new boyfriend," Bobby quipped and rested his hand on Warren's, now that he had reached the bed. "Thanks, Hank..."

 

"You're welcome, Robert," Hank said pleased and took in his friends' faces. "Now you and Warren can double date with Remy and Joseph," he teased. Laughter rolled through the room and they relaxed.

 

Scott nodded his head. //Yes, sir,// he told Charles telepathically. //We're finally a team.//

 

Behind his desk, Charles smiled warmly and content, he leaned back. "Maybe one day our dream will come true."

 

The end.

 

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