Title: White Sails

Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Web page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon

Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel

Rating: PG-13
Summary: Glorfindel is called to the Grey Havens to take a new born Elf off of Mithrandir’s hands. He thinks his beloved Ecthelion has been allowed to return, but then gets a shock.

Disclaimer: Not mine. These characters belong to Professor Tolkien. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: AU of course.

Beta read by Patricia and DA, thanks sweeties!

All remaining mistakes are mine.

White Sails

Erestor shuffled toward the assembly grounds of the Kings and Queens of the Valar. One of the other souls had told him that he had been summoned and that he was to report to Manwë personally. Erestor didn’t know why he of all the dead souls had been singled out and that made him nervous.

“Erestor, there you are! Please approach!” Námo raised his hand and gestured for the soul to approach. All souls continued to look in death how they had looked in life. It helped them adjust since they often clung to their former form.

Erestor bowed his head and shyly looked at the assembled Valar standing there. At the center stood Manwë, who was magnificent in his splendor. For occasions such as this, Manwë took on Elven form and showed himself as a handsome Elf with noble features. He possessed blue eyes and long, brown hair and a crown made of the light of the stars and the silver moon had been woven into his mane. To his right stood Námo. The Vala wore luxurious midnight-blue robes, which helped highlight his gray eyes and raven hair.

“You do not have to lower your gaze to us,” Manwë said kindly. “You have no reason to fear us.”

Erestor felt too nervous to talk and simply continued to stare at the ground. In the end, he explained, “I am not exactly afraid of you. I am merely worried because I do not know why you summoned me.”

Manwë’s eyes filled with sympathy. “I summoned you because you need to prepare yourself for your return to Middle Earth.”

Erestor’s head jerked back. He must have heard wrong! “You are sending me back? Why? What did I do wrong? Why can I not stay?” Panic was growing inside him and he looked to Námo for help. He preferred to stay in the Halls of Waiting for many reasons.

Námo replied, “You did nothing wrong, Erestor. But you did not do the things in your first life which you were supposed to do. We want to give you a second chance. We want to help you.”

“You would help me by abandoning your plans and allowing me to stay.” Erestor wanted to leave the assembly grounds and return to his family. They were one reason why he didn’t want to return to Arda. It had taken him centuries to rebuild certain family relations which had never worked in life.

“Nay,” Manwë answered determinedly. “You will not be able to change our decision. Your first life did not go as planned and you shall return to Middle-Earth – to Imladris, to be precise.”

“I never heard of a place called Imladris before,” Erestor replied thoughtfully. He had no desire to find out what that place was about. “Please, Milord. You said yourself that I did nothing wrong. Why then would you punish me so gravely?” Erestor peered at Manwë’s stern expression and hoped to see understanding there, but the stern look remained. Manwë would not be swayed and the Vala would send him to his doom. “But why? What did I do?”

Manwë shook his head. Sending Erestor away in this way hurt him, but he had no choice. Eru had explained to him that certain things had to happen and Erestor traveling to Imladris was one of them. Manwë walked toward Erestor and raised a hand, meaning to soothe to distraught soul, but the gesture made Erestor take a step away from him. “Do not feel anxious, Erestor. We mean you well.” One day, Erestor would hopefully thank them for sending him back to the living. “An assistant of mine called Olórin will join you and escort you to Imladris. In the land of the living, he is known as Mithrandir. You would do well to listen to his advice. He is one of the wisest Maiar.”

Erestor had no choice but to nod his head. He couldn’t go against the will of the Valar. “Will I be allowed to say goodbye to my family?”

Manwë shook his head. “There is no time for that. Námo will inform them that you were chosen to return to Middle-Earth. They will rejoice for you.”

Erestor had thought that he couldn’t possibly feel more miserable, but after hearing that, he did. He wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to his loved ones.

A new form appeared on the assembly grounds and Erestor shivered, instinctively knowing that it was Olórin, also known as Mithrandir, who would take him back to Middle-Earth. A fair looking Maia stood in front of him with long white hair and gray-green eyes. The features were warm and pleasant, but still Erestor flinched. This was the person who would take him away from his loved ones!

“Greetings, Erestor of the Fountain. I am Olórin. I am here to escort you to your new home.” Olórin’s eyes shone with compassion for the troubled soul, which would become Elven the moment Erestor set foot onto the ship with white sails that would take them across the Sea.

Erestor knew that defying the Valar wasn’t an option. There was no way of knowing how they would react to his protest. “Greetings, Olórin.”

Olórin and Manwë exchanged a look. Erestor didn’t know it, but Manwë had told him about Erestor’s history and even Olórin agreed that Erestor returning to Middle-Earth was the best way to set right the wrongs which had happened in the past. “I am your friend,” Olórin said, hoping to gain some of Erestor’s trust. It would be helpful if Erestor didn’t see him as the enemy. “I will help you to my best ability.”

“Thank you.” At a young age, Erestor had learned how to act in public and to be diplomatic when the situation called for it. It wouldn’t do to give into his choking emotions at that time.

“You shall leave now.” Manwë raised a hand and gestured for them to head for the shore, where a ship with white sails lay ready to take them to that part of Middle-Earth that was closest to Imladris. “Erestor, go with our blessing.” He raised a hand and rested it on Erestor’s raven hair. When Erestor refused to meet his gaze, the Vala placed a finger beneath the soul’s chin and raised it until Erestor was forced to look at him. “You do not understand why we are sending you back, but please believe me when I say that we have the best possible reason to return you to the living.”

Erestor had been trained not to question his superiors and simply nodded his head. “I will do as I am told.” He always had obeyed and the one time that he had rebelled, the act had gotten him killed. As far as Erestor was concerned he had learned obedience.

Manwë’s eyes glittered briefly with anger. /Erestor, you learned the wrong lessons and that is why we are sending you back./ But he shielded his thoughts carefully since Erestor had to learn that little fact for himself in time. “Now go.”

“Come with me.” Olórin placed his fingers around Erestor’s wrist and pulled the resigned soul along. He felt a deep sympathy for this soul whose first life had ended so tragically and he agreed with the Valar that this particular soul deserved a second chance.

Erestor’s feet dragged when he followed Olórin onto the shore. The sight of the ship made him even more nervous and he fidgeted with the fabric of his sleeves like he had often done in life.

Olórin stepped onto the deck first and then gestured for Erestor to follow, but the soul wavered and Olórin had to encourage him to take the next step. “Have faith in Eru, Erestor.”

Erestor bowed his head and took the next step. He placed his left food onto the deck and sighed. His existence had changed once more. Just when he had accepted that he would be in the Halls of Waiting forever, he was forced to return to the world of the living.

~~~

“Glorfindel! It is good that you managed to join me so quickly! We need to discuss something urgent.” Elrond gestured for Glorfindel to approach and sit down opposite his desk, which was overflowing with letters, reports, and even maps. Not for the first time did Elrond wish for a capable Advisor to help him deal with the paperwork. Melpomaen was trying to help, but the young Advisor lacked experience and, since he had only recently reached majority, he was distracted by affairs of the heart, meaning Melpomaen was falling in and out of love each day.

Glorfindel grinned at seeing the mess on Elrond’s desk. “Do you need help?” he asked cheekily, knowing very well that Elrond would not ask him. Elrond had done that once and had found himself in even bigger chaos than before they had started sorting out the papers.

“Aye, I do, desperately!” Elrond stressed his words with wild hand gestures. “I need a capable assistant.” It was a good thing that Melpomaen wasn’t present since the poor Elf would have felt terribly ashamed that his efforts to help had barely eased Elrond’s workload. “But my paper work must wait for we must talk.”

Glorfindel had seated himself and continued to grin at Elrond. He loved seeing the always composed half-Elf lose his self-control whenever a mountain of letters tried to drown him. When he had first arrived in Imladris, Elrond had impressed him. No even worse, had intimidated him, but it hadn’t taken Glorfindel long to realize that a kind-hearted Elf was hiding beneath the regal Elf-Lord and they had quickly become good friends. Having Elrond’s friendship had helped Glorfindel adjust to life in Imladris, a life of peace which had formerly been unknown to him. “What must we speak about then?” Glorfindel was eager to have this conversation over with so he could join the guards on the training grounds.

“I received a letter from Mithrandir,” Elrond started and searched the pile of letters to his right until he had found the one he was looking for. The Wizard had visited Imladris for the first time when the Mithrandir had escorted Glorfindel to Imladris. Elrond and Mithrandir had instantly recognized that they were kindred souls and had become friends. “I have a task for you.”

Glorfindel shivered. Whenever Mithrandir was brought up, he felt uncomfortable since the name reminded him that he had once dwelt in the Halls of Waiting. It also reminded him that he had left his beloved behind in the Halls. Ecthelion and he had been lovers for years and had been about to speak the vows which would bind their souls for all eternity when the attack on Gondolin had happened. Ecthelion had died first and later, during their flight, Glorfindel had died as well. He had hated himself for having to leave Ecthelion behind in the Halls. The worst thing had been that the Valar had forbidden him from saying his goodbyes to his beloved and for a while, anger had consumed him. But he had made his peace after realizing that Ecthelion was lost to him.

“Glorfindel?” At seeing the blond Elf’s distracted expression, Elrond raised an eyebrow inquisitively. He couldn’t help but wonder what his friend was remembering. Something painful, it seemed.

Glorfindel coughed and forced himself to concentrate on Elrond and the task at hand. “What task?”

Reassured that Glorfindel was once more paying attention, Elrond resumed speaking. “Mithrandir has let me know that another Elf has been allowed to return to the world of the living. And since you, dear Glorfindel, have some experience of becoming used to living again, Mithrandir has asked me to send you the Havens, where he and his charge will arrive. You are to escort them to Imladris and take care of the reborn Elf.”

Glorfindel’s reaction was totally unexpected and made Elrond blink. “Ecthelion! It must be Ecthelion! Who else deserves to be reborn! The Valar must have heard my pleas!” Glorfindel was ecstatic. It never occurred to the warrior that the Valar might have sent someone else back. No, Glorfindel was convinced that his lover and soon to be mate was returned to him! “I will travel to the Havens and bring them to Imladris! Oh, Elrond, I always wanted you to meet with Ecthelion! He is a noble Elf and the two of you will like each other!” Glorfindel was so excited that he couldn’t sit still on his chair and in the end jumped to his feet and began to pace Elrond’s study. “It must be Ecthelion! It *is* Ecthelion! I know it is!”

Elrond tried to reason with Glorfindel. “My friend, Mithrandir did not state a name. Please, I do not want you to be hurt when you see a different Elf than Ecthelion has been returned to us. You can not know for certain it is Ecthelion who is on his way to Imladris.”

But Glorfindel waved Elrond’s concern away, although he appreciated the fact that the half-Elf worried about him. “Elrond, *I* am being summoned to escort this Elf to Imladris. Why would they summon me if it is not Ecthelion returning?” Glorfindel gave Elrond an apologetic smile. Elrond didn’t know certain details which had been kept out of the history books. “We were lovers, Elrond, and we were about to speak our vows. Who else would the Valar return to us?”

Elrond rose from his chair and walked over to the spot where Glorfindel was standing. He rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Please be cautious, Glorfindel. The letter does not give us the name of the Elf who was reborn. I do not want you to be hurt when you realize someone else has been sent back.”

Glorfindel turned and smiled at Elrond. He was completely convinced that his lover was on his way to him. “Elrond, I know it is Ecthelion. You do not need to worry about me.”

“But I do worry about you,” Elrond replied. Glorfindel took a step away from him and Elrond’s hand slipped from his friend’s shoulder. Glorfindel was eager to leave and Elrond had no reason to postpone his friend’s departure. “Glorfindel, I wish you a swift and safe journey.” What else was there to say? He had already warned his friend twice not to blindly assume that Ecthelion had been returned to them!

~~~

Olórin’s heart went out to the miserable looking Elf. Erestor’s head was bowed, the shoulders slumped, and the soul itself, which was already becoming Elven again, radiated depression and anger. Since Manwë had appointed him as Erestor’s caregiver until the moment they arrived in Imladris, Olórin felt it was his duty to try to relieve Erestor’s burden just a little. Since the ship steered itself and the wind consistently blew into the white sails, he didn’t have to worry about going off course. Still in his Maian appearance, he walked over to Erestor and joined the troubled Elf in staring at the calm sea. “You do not wish to return to the living,” he said, finally voicing his observations. “Why is that?”

Erestor’s raven hair had shielded him from Olórin’s curious looks, but the toying wind now blew it away from his face and granted the Maia a look at his troubled features. “I was a failure in life… I do not wish to go back to my miserable existence. Can you fault me for that?” Erestor wrapped his arms around his frame and shivered, sensing the changes he was going through. His fingertips had become solid and encountered flesh beneath the fabric of his robes. His eyes hurt when Arien cast warm rays at him and he closed them momentarily. His throat felt dry and his hands shook with tension as he realized he had taken on Elven form again. He was no longer purely soul. He had to breathe in order to stay alive. “I never wanted to go back to the living.”

Olórin turned his head and studied his companion’s fair, but pale features. Erestor was truly worried. “Why do you think of yourself as a failure?” He knew Eru wouldn’t have let Erestor return if the Elf hadn’t done something truly heroic in his first life.

“I do not wish to discuss my mistakes. They cost me dearly.” Erestor shivered, not due to the cold wind that toyed with his robes, but because his soul felt cold.

Olórin unclasped his cloak and draped the fabric across Erestor’s shoulders. Erestor wasn’t the first Elf he had guided back to life and he knew from first-hand experience that becoming used to being alive again would take time. He didn’t question Erestor further. Glorfindel had reacted a bit like this when he had taken him to Imladris. Glorfindel had revolted against Eru’s decision and had refused to talk to him for some time. It was a good thing that Glorfindel would be there to help Erestor settle down in Imladris since the blond warrior had already lived through the process of adapting to a new life.

Erestor felt grateful that the Maia didn’t press him for any answers. It was already hard enough being alive again. He possessed a body once more and his senses were coming back alive. He smelled and tasted the sea on the wind and his eyes took in Arien’s golden rays. In the distance, he made out the Grey Havens and he knew they would set foot on shore shortly. “I do not want to do this,” he choked out in a torment.

“You do not have a choice, my friend.” Olórin was going through a transformation of his own, changing his appearance to that of Mithrandir. Only Glorfindel, and now Erestor, had ever seen him in his guise of Olórin and he wanted to keep it that way. “Do not be afraid,” he added when he heard Erestor’s sharp intake of breath at seeing his changed appearance. “It is still me, but this is how I show myself to the people of Middle-Earth.”

Erestor accepted Mithrandir’s words. What else could he do? “I still do not want to do this.”

Mithrandir sighed and hoped that having Glorfindel at Erestor’s side would help the reborn Elf accept his fate.

~~~

Glorfindel was growing impatient. He had arrived at the Havens three days ago and was now looking out for white sails at the horizon. The fact that Ecthelion was about to join him in life again was something he had always hoped for. He had prayed to the Valar, sending daily pleas to them in the hope that they would listen and unite him with his lover once more and they had finally answered his prayers.

He had tried hard to look his best. He had taken a long bath, had rubbed oil into his skin, and had brushed his long hair until it shone as golden as Arien herself. He wanted to look his best for Ecthelion. Ecthelion and he had been practically inseparable during their entire life. They had grown up together as the sons of Lords whose duty had been to serve their King with the sword. They had been locked in a competitive rivalry which had forced them to bring out the best in each other and had grown into warriors that their families had been proud of. In the time of impending war, warriors had been revered and respected and Glorfindel and Ecthelion had wanted that. They had wanted to be praised and looked up to.

Glorfindel was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the white sails at first. They had appeared a few minutes earlier and the ship held its course steadily, heading toward the Havens. Gasping in excitement, Glorfindel started to run toward the docks. He couldn’t wait to hold Ecthelion in his arms again!

~~~

“What awaits me in Imladris?” Erestor gave Mithrandir a resigned look. Since the Valar had decreed he should live in Imladris, he had made his peace with his future. Fighting the future, or the Valar for that matter, was useless and Erestor had resigned himself to his fate. He felt no joy at being back on Middle-Earth again. He didn’t rejoice that he possessed a body once more. He felt manipulated, and above all, he felt empty inside.

“Elrond Half-Elven has need for a capable Advisor and you will serve him in that capacity.” Since Manwë hadn’t felt it necessary to share Erestor’s past with him, Mithrandir asked, “I presume you have some experience in that field?” He hoped Erestor had some because Elrond didn’t need a trainee. The half-Elf needed an experienced Advisor to share the burden of ruling Imladris.

“I have some experience,” Erestor choked out. He didn’t want to discuss this with Mithrandir? Oh why had the Valar forced him to return to the living? He didn’t want to do this!

“You have?” Since Mithrandir’s curiosity had been piqued, he studied Erestor’s pale features again. The brown almost black eyes shone with intelligence and Mithrandir realized that Manwë had chosen Erestor for a reason. “Whom did you advise then?”

“Turgon,” Erestor revealed from between gritted teeth. He pulled the cloak closer around his frame and stared blankly into the distance where he could make out the Grey Havens. Hopefully Mithrandir understood that he didn’t want to discuss his past.

“You advised Turgon?” Mithrandir was impressed and felt curios.

“I was merely one of his Advisors...the youngest of them all.” And they hadn’t listened to him when he had warned them that Morgoth planned to strike Gondolin. Turgon and the senior Advisors had laughed at him instead. “What use am I to this Elrond half-Elven?” he asked himself. He had made so many mistakes in the past.

Mithrandir had involuntarily caught Erestor’s thoughts and observed the silent face. “You warned them about the upcoming attack and Turgon did not believe you?”

Vexed that Mithrandír had guessed the truth, Erestor glared at the Maia. “I was the youngest. I was not to be taken serious. I had just started my career as an Adviser and they did not believe me.”

Mithrandir frowned. “Why did you not force them to hear you? Really hear you? You must have had evidence of the impending attack!”

“I had…” Erestor replied, blinking once. “Maeglin, the traitor, had sent a courier to inform Morgoth that the time was right to strike. I intercepted that messenger, but the letter itself was destroyed in the fight that followed. The messenger took his own life and I was left with no palpable evidence. After I had failed to convince Turgon, I even tried to warn the Captains of the guard.” Erestor grew silent as he remembered the scolding and hurtful words Glorfindel and Ecthelion had thrown at him. They had laughed at him, ridiculed him, and had even called him a liar and a coward. He had left with a bowed head and feeling humiliated, but he hadn’t given up. He had gone to Idril and had helped her organize an escape route. If only Turgon, Glorfindel, or Ecthelion had believed him! Then more inhabitants might have survived! “I failed,” he whispered, voicing his deepest feelings.

Mithrandir drew in a deep breath. “You meant well, but your youth worked against you.”

If only it had been his youth! Erestor shielded that thought carefully though. He didn’t want Mithrandir to pick up on it. Lifting his head, he stared at the shore and blinked as he saw a golden-haired Elf standing there. Suddenly, his heart sped up to an upsetting pace. “It can not be…” It couldn’t be Glorfindel standing there! But ai, it was for Glorfindel had been returned to Middle-Earth decades ago and the warrior *did* dwell on Arda again!

“That is Glorfindel,” Mithrandir confirmed his charge’s suspicions. He had hoped that Glorfindel’s presence would help Erestor accept his new life, but now he understood the mistake he had made. Glorfindel had been one of those Elves who had scolded Erestor, who had laughed at him when he had warned them, and Glorfindel probably was the last Elf Erestor wanted to see.

Erestor’s fingers became near claw-like and dug into the ship’s wood.

~~~

Glorfindel had been ecstatic to make out the long raven hair, which had convinced him that his lover had indeed returned to him. He stood near the landing and was eagerly awaiting Mithrandir and Ecthelion to disembark when he caught sight of the eyes...dark, almost black eyes… Ecthelion’s eyes had been green, not black. What witchery was this? Then his Elven eyes probed deeper and his head reeled upon realizing the truth. The Valar had tricked him! It wasn’t Ecthelion standing next to Mithrandir: it was Ecthelion’s younger brother, Erestor!

~~~

Part 2

Glorfindel felt like someone had punched him in the stomach hard. Erestor, Ecthelion’s younger brother who had become a disgrace to the Lord of the Fountain’s family, had been returned to the living? How could that be? He knew better than to assume that the Valar had made a mistake for they were infallible and didn’t make mistakes. He steeled his expression and glared at the raven-haired Elf standing on the deck.

Erestor swayed and it was only due to Mithrandir’s supporting hold that he hadn’t crumbled yet. Seeing Glorfindel standing there had left him shocked. He knew that Glorfindel had been reborn, but he hadn’t thought the two of them would ever meet again. “What is he doing here?”

Mithrandir cringed at the way he sounded. Erestor failed to mask his nervousness and Mithrandir thought he even heard traces of fear in the Elf’s voice and that made him realize just how young Erestor must have been when he had died. Erestor couldn’t have been older than a hundred years. Death was a cruel fate for someone that young! “Manwë felt it was best for Glorfindel to help you through this transition period. He had been through the same experience when he was reborn.”

“I want to go back,” Erestor mumbled still in shock. Glorfindel had never liked him and had gone along with Ecthelion’s bullying. The hard expression in the icy-blue eyes told him that nothing had changed between them. Glorfindel would never like him, Erestor was certain of that.

“You can not go back. We must go ashore now.” Mithrandir pitied Erestor and wondered why Manwë had orchestrated this. Eru, and thus Manwë as well, had to have known about the bad feelings between Glorfindel and Erestor. “I am at your side. Do not despair.” Hopefully Glorfindel would change his mind and support Erestor. Glorfindel *was* the only Elf who knew what Erestor was going through at the moment.

Erestor tried to mask his anxiety, but he had never quite learned how to perfect his mask in Glorfindel’s presence.

“Glorfindel, it is good to see you again!” Mithrandir tried to break the ice between the two Elves as he stepped ashore and dragged Erestor along behind him. “I brought another reborn Elf with me.”

“I know him.”

Erestor flinched at the disgusted tone in Glorfindel’s voice. He knew Glorfindel was capable of masking his feelings, but apparently the blond Elf had decided to clearly show his antipathy. “Aye, we have met before.” Mithrandir came to a halt and Erestor was forced to do the same. He pointedly stared at the sand beneath his feet and tried very hard to control his raging emotions.

“I took the liberty to move into one of the cottages. I readied them for our stay. Please follow me.” Keeping his head, shoulders, and back perfectly straight, Glorfindel turned around and walked away from the ship, leaving Mithrandir and Erestor no choice but to follow.

Erestor’s fingers suddenly curled around Mithrandir’s and the pressure made Mithrandir look at the young Elf with sympathy and pity. Erestor had grown even paler and the eyes shone feverishly. The long fingers twitched around his and Mithrandir heard how Erestor’s breathing continued to speed up until it became irregular. “Calm down,” he ordered as he gently tugged at Erestor’s hand to pull him along. “Glorfindel will come around.”

“He will not,” Erestor whispered and carefully kept his head down so he couldn’t accidentally look at Glorfindel. “He hates me.”

“He does not hate you!” Mithrandir felt shocked. Glorfindel was a kind and noble Elf. Why would he hate such a young and obviously scared Elf as Erestor?

“He does. Trust me on that.” The memory of Glorfindel mocking him and laughing at him had been burned into his memory and he would never forget how little and insignificant he had felt back then.

Although Erestor had kept his voice low, Glorfindel had heard. He didn’t exactly hate Erestor. He simply disliked the young Elf. He always had. Erestor had caused disgrace to his family by refusing to become a warrior like Ecthelion. Instead, Erestor had declared his heart belonged to his music and that he had wanted to become a minstrel. His family had rejected that choice and Erestor had been forced to become an Advisor. But Erestor had never really wanted to go that way. /Music… All Erestor could think about had been music! And that during a time of war!/ Oh, Glorfindel loved music, and so had Ecthelion, but they had been warriors first, determined and honored to defend their home.

All Erestor could think about was that he didn’t want to be there. If it hadn’t been for Mithrandir’s hold on his hand, he might have run back to the ship and tried to sail back to Aman. But he also knew that the ship would have refused to take him back. The Valar had ordered him to return to Middle-Earth and nothing he did could change that.

~~~

“This will be your room for the time being, Erestor.” Glorfindel forced himself to speak the other Elf’s name and, although he tried to sound controlled, he failed. He was still angry with himself, the Valar, and with the world in general because he had been so wrong! He had been convinced that it had been Ecthelion who was to be returned to them! Elrond had tried to warn him, but he hadn’t listened and now he felt crushed…and angry.

“Thank you,” Erestor replied and quickly vanished into the room. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it because his head reeled. He was finally alone. He had managed to shut out Glorfindel *and* Mithrandir. The Maia had tried to understand what ailed him, but Mithrandir couldn’t possibly understand. He hadn’t been there.

Why did it have to be Glorfindel awaiting him in the Havens? Had they met years later, he might have been able to deal with the situation, but not at the moment. He felt lonely, out of place, and simply like crying. Erestor flung himself onto the bed and sobbed into the pillow.

~~~

Mithrandir sat on a comfortable chair and nursed a cup of tea. Slipping out of Olórin’s skin and into the Wizard’s came naturally these days. He blew on the surface of the herbal tea and studied Glorfindel from beneath his bushy eyebrows. “Glorfindel, sit down! You are making me nervous!” Glorfindel had been pacing nonstop and the angry glare in the blue eyes made Mithrandir feel alert. He *had* to find out what this was about! He hadn’t spent much time in Erestor’s company, but he had sensed the innocence and sincerity in Erestor and couldn’t fathom what the young Elf had done in the past to earn Glorfindel’s wrath.

“Why did you bring him back? Why not Ecthelion?” Glorfindel spun around and pointed an accusing finger at Mithrandir. “I wanted it to be Ecthelion! Not…him!”

Mithrandir raised a hand and gestured for Glorfindel to sit down. “I told Erestor to calm down and I am telling you the same thing now!” So Glorfindel had expected Ecthelion to be returned and not Erestor. That explained part of the warrior’s violent reaction, but not wholly. “And once you are calm, you are going to explain this to me.”

“There is not much to explain.” Glorfindel forced himself to be civil and he sat down opposite Mithrandir. His fingertips tapped against the wood of the armrest, signaling his impatience.

“Oh,” Mithrandir disagreed. “You have a lot to explain to me. Like why Erestor is crying right now.”

Glorfindel shrugged and his expression hardened further. “He was always like that. He is the opposite of Ecthelion and will never make a good warrior! Even worse! He refused to become one! Can you imagine that? In times of war, he refused to learn how to wield a sword, claiming his heart and soul belonged to his music!” Glorfindel’s voice had grown louder and could be heard throughout the cottage.

It doubtlessly carried up into Erestor’s room as well and Mithrandir tried to calm Glorfindel again. He didn’t want to upset Erestor further. The young Elf was already upset after what he had been through! “Glorfindel, not everyone is destined to become a warrior.”

“He disgraced his family. You do not know what it took for his family to convince him to become an Advisor instead!” Glorfindel jumped to his feet and took up pacing once more.

Mithrandir shook his head. “Glorfindel, why are you so angry?”

“Because they sent *him* instead of Ecthelion, who deserved to return!” Glorfindel exploded and rage dripped from each word he spoke.

“Control yourself, Glorfindel! There is no reason for Erestor to be subjected to your wrath, especially when it is not really aimed at him, but at the Valar! Erestor does not deserve that!” Mithrandir set his cup aside and rose from his chair. “Erestor’s soul is pure and deserving of this rebirth! You do not have the right to judge him! Eru already did and decided to return to him to the living! You have to accept that!”

Glorfindel wanted to lash out at Mithrandir, but then grew quiet as he saw Erestor in the doorway. The poor Elf was pale and shaking like a leaf. He hadn’t realized Erestor had come downstairs and had listened in on their conversation. Standing there, Erestor looked young. Well, he was young, only one hundred and nine years…an Elfling practically as far as Glorfindel was concerned. He was catapulted back into the past and remembered the times he had ridiculed the youngster together with Ecthelion. “Erestor, I…”

“Do you think I wanted to come back? I begged the Valar to let me remain in the Halls of Waiting, but they did not give me a choice!” An anger which equaled Glorfindel’s erupted from deep with Erestor’s core. “Had I known I would find you here, I would have fought their decision even harder! But they did not listen!” Erestor’s hands became fists and the normally calm Elf glared at Glorfindel with venomous black eyes. “Even now, I want to go back, but they will not let me! Do not think I want to be here, Glorfindel, because I do not! I remember you mocking me only too well! Do you really think I want a repeat performance of that?”

Mithrandir was impressed and, as he looked at Glorfindel, he saw surprise on the warrior’s face. Glorfindel hadn’t expected that outburst either. Good, that proved there was more to Erestor than met the eye, just as Mithrandir had hoped.

“You do not have to bother with me any longer, Glorfindel. I am gone...out of your hair. No need to come after me!” Erestor spun around and the last thing Glorfindel and Mithrandir saw of the young Elf was a waterfall of raven hair.

“Erestor!” Glorfindel was about to hurry after Erestor, but Mithrandir grabbed hold of the blond Elf’s wrist.

“Nay, stay, let him go. He will not stray far. He does not know the Grey Havens and will stay near.” Mithrandir shook his head disapprovingly. “You deserved that, Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel’s first reaction was to launch into another tirade, but then realized that Mithrandir was right: he had deserved that. He was angry with himself and the Valar, not with Erestor. Erestor was someone to mock, to laugh at, but not to lash out at.

“Let him be for a short while. Glorfindel, you know what he feels like. He is lonely and confused or have you forgotten how you felt upon your return to the living? Everything is new, everything is different, and he needs someone emotionally stable to support him. I do not know why, but Manwë decided that someone should be you.”

“I am not the right person for the job,” Glorfindel commented and gave Mithrandir an uneasy look. “Erestor and I never cooperated and we never will.”

“Why? Because he aspired to become a minstrel and not a warrior? Is that it?” Mithrandir wanted to understand because only then he could help.

“It was a combination of things.” Glorfindel had finally calmed down and gave Mithrandir an apologetic look. “Erestor was easy to pick on and most of the time it was Ecthelion who started mocking him. I went along because I wanted to please Ecthelion. He was my lover, you see.”

“So it was easier to laugh at Erestor and mock him then to tell Ecthelion to stop harassing his brother?” Mithrandir gave Glorfindel another disapproving look. “I thought better of you, Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel actually felt ashamed. “I have learned some things since my rebirth.” It had helped that Ecthelion hadn’t been close to influence him. Instead, Elrond had become a major influence and he had matured the last few decades. He cast a look at the doorway. “Do you really think I should not go after him?”

“Not yet.” Mithrandir smiled kindly and covered the distance between Glorfindel and him. He looked out of the window and pointed outside. “Look, there he is.” Erestor had run to the shore and was kneeling on the sand. He had buried his hands in the sand and his head was bowed so his long hair shielded his face. “He is still a young Elf, Glorfindel. He died at a young age. I do not know how he died, but it must have had a great impact on him. Remember how lonely and lost you felt when you were reborn. You *are* the right person to reach out to him, Glorfindel. He needs you.”

Glorfindel sighed and bowed his head. “You are right, but it is hard for me to reach out to him. We have a past together and we never were friends.”

“You will have to work past that, Glorfindel.” Mithrandir briefly squeezed Glorfindel’s shoulder. “Wait for him to return to the house and when he does, speak to him. Try to befriend him. I have the feeling both of you will benefit from it.”

Glorfindel nodded as he realized the wisdom to Mithrandir’s words.

~~~

Erestor knelt on the sand for hours and stared at the skies until Arien disappeared and Ithil started his ascent. In the Halls of Waiting time didn’t exist. There at the Grey Havens, days changed into nights. It was something he had to become used to again. What he would never grow to be used to was the fact that Glorfindel still hated him. When he had been an Elfling, he had worshipped the blond Elf. He had never really liked his older brother. Ecthelion had been aggressive for an Elf and Erestor had always stayed clear. Glorfindel however had had a gentle disposition and Erestor had been pleased whenever the warrior had allowed him onto his lap. But that had changed when he had grown older and Glorfindel had learned that he desired to become a bard instead of a warrior as was tradition in his family.

One star after another appeared and suddenly the whole sky was alive with their twinkling. Erestor gasped in wonder and tears filled his eyes. He didn’t know how much time had passed by since he had gazed upon the midnight sky for the last time and his heart swelled with emotion at seeing a falling star shooting toward the earth. His emotions needed a way out and he raised his voice, pouring his loneliness, confusion, and fear into a haunting melody.

~~~

Glorfindel raised his head in surprise when a silvery voice flowed into the living room. He had heard renowned bards sing in both his lifetimes, but he had never heard a voice so pure, so innocent – so full of emotion. Mithrandir, who had been reading, looked up as well and exchanged a look with Glorfindel. He too, was impressed by the beauty and fullness of Erestor’s voice. He didn’t dare speak as long as the song lasted and waited for Erestor to stop singing before he addressed Glorfindel. “Now you know why he wanted to become a bard. He has an enthralling voice, Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel swallowed hard. “You are right.” He looked out of the window again and saw Erestor still sitting hunched over. “I have to speak with him.” That voice still resounded in his thoughts even though Erestor had long stopped singing. “I never heard anything like it before.” And the strangest thing was that Erestor had sung in a language he had never heard before and yet, he had known what the song had been about: solitude and fear. “What language did he sing in?” he asked and looked at Mithrandir.

“Not a language I know of,” the wizard commented. “But you know what he expressed in that song.”

Glorfindel nodded once. “I do. I understood.” Glorfindel walked over to the doorway and gave Mithrandir a last look from over his shoulder. “This will not be easy on either of us.”

“Who said life was easy?” Mithrandir smiled reassuringly. “Go and talk to him. The two of you need to talk.” It would be a first step on a long and tiring road, but a road they both needed to walk. Mithrandir thought he finally understood why the Valar had brought Glorfindel and Erestor together in this way.

~~~

Erestor sensed rather than heard Glorfindel approach. He quickly wiped the tears from his face and forced himself to stand to his feet. He had hoped the warrior would leave him alone, but apparently Glorfindel had returned to mock him some more. “What do you want?”

Glorfindel cringed. He deserved the icy tone, but hated the fact that Erestor felt he needed to use it with him. By Elbereth, he couldn’t blame the younger Elf for thinking that! In the past he had hurt Erestor too many times. He coughed to clear his throat and thought of what to say. He owed Erestor an apology, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to take that step yet. “You have an outstanding voice. I did not know that.”

Erestor snorted in disbelief. Had Glorfindel really paid him a compliment? He slowly turned around and then raised his gaze to meet Glorfindel’s probably mocking gaze. But he didn’t find them contemptuous. The expression in them was sincere. “You never bothered to listen to me before.”

“I plead guilty,” Glorfindel admitted and shrugged his shoulders. “Erestor, we…we were never friends…You and I, we just do not relate to each other, but we will have to try to cooperate now since I am to be your guide. I did not volunteer for the job though… Oh, that came out the wrong way! I did not mean it like that!” Frustrated by his inability to voice his thoughts correctly, Glorfindel kicked the sand. “I am not used to talking to you like this.”

“Being civil to me, you mean?” Erestor glared at Glorfindel. “Why should you? I am the black sheep of the family! The idiot who loves his music above the sword! I am a disgrace, remember?”

Glorfindel cringed. “I might have judged you too harshly.” It was Ecthelion who had been enraged that his younger brother had decided not to become a warrior. Glorfindel had simply played along. “What language did you sing in?” he asked, hoping to distract Erestor.

Erestor blinked for it was an unexpected question and before he knew it, he had answered. “My own. I invented it.” He had created his own language to make certain no one heard his anguish when he sang.

“Your own?” Glorfindel took a step toward Erestor and hoped the young Elf would give him a second chance. “Erestor, you have started a new life and so have I. Maybe we can start anew? I was not always fair toward you in the past and I regret that. You are to live in Imladris where I live too and we shall spend time together. Maybe we can try to improve our relationship?”

Erestor blinked again. “What relationship? You hate me!”

Glorfindel’s features contorted. “I would not call it hatred.”

“What would you call it then? I remember the way you mocked me! Laughed at me! You certainly never liked me!” Tears were trying to fill his eyes again, but Erestor fought them back. He refused to cry in front of Glorfindel again!

Glorfindel felt ill at ease. “Erestor, I apologize for how I acted in the past. I am sorry…”

“You are sorry? Do you really think it is that easy? That just saying ‘I am sorry’ will do the trick? Well, it does not. I meant what I said. You do not have to look after me! I will find my own way!”

Erestor marched past him and Glorfindel let him go. When had their conversation gone wrong? He had apologized, hadn’t he? But Erestor needed more than just that. Glorfindel turned around and watched Erestor disappear inside the house. Mithrandir was right: they had a long and tiring road ahead of them.

~~~

“Erestor, wait!” Mithrandir caught Erestor before the young Elf could escape upstairs. “What happened during your talk with Glorfindel? He wanted to make amends when he went outside, but you do not look appeased!” He was surprised to see the hostile expression in Erestor’s eyes mixed with unshed tears. “Did he not apologize?” He thought Glorfindel would have!

“Apologize?” Since Mithrandir was keeping him in place, Erestor was forced to calm down and mentally review the conversation he had just had with the warrior.

“I understand that Glorfindel wronged you in the past and seeing you on the deck instead of Ecthelion stunned him,” Mithrandir tried to explain.

“Aye, he loved my brother…” An evil look appeared in Erestor’s dark eyes. And because Glorfindel had loved Ecthelion he had become just like his brother. “He probably hates me even more since the Valar sent me back instead of Ecthelion.” His ‘loving’ brother, who had made his life hell. “Please release me. I want to return to my room and rest.” He felt drained emotionally as well as physically. He felt like throwing himself onto his bed and crying some more, but only because no one could see him when he wept in the privacy of his room.

“Give Glorfindel a chance, Erestor. I mean it.” Mithrandir released Erestor from his hold and stepped aside to let the young Elf pass. Erestor however stayed in place and stared at him.

“Why should I? He only hurt me in the past.” Erestor drew in a deep breath and then added, “As an Elfling, I idolized him. I never had a good relationship with my brother, but I loved playing with Glorfindel. He would let me ride his knee and… And then I grew up and everything changed. I decided against becoming a warrior like them and then…then they…” Erestor suddenly ran past Mithrandir and up the stairs, closing the door with a bang behind him.

Erestor’s sudden departure surprised Mithrandir, but then he spotted Glorfindel’s reflection in the mirror. Seeing him must have set off Erestor’s reaction.

Glorfindel sighed. He had heard Erestor’s admission and felt guilty for going along with Ecthelion’s mocking in the past. What Erestor had said was true: he had adored the Elfling and had loved to play with him. “I do not know what to think…or what to say.”

“You do not have to say a single thing…yet. You have time…until the morning at the very least. I doubt we will see Erestor again until it is time for us to leave for Imladris.”

Glorfindel nodded his head. However, he needed more time to make amends to Erestor. He *had* wronged Erestor in the past…and he had to undo those mistakes.

~~~

Erestor had wrapped his traveling cloak tightly around his frame and hugged his waist. His long, raven hair danced on the breeze, which had found a way inside his room when he had opened the window. It was the dead of night. Stars twinkled in the dark sky and clouds teased a crescent moon, hiding and then revealing it. Erestor felt lonely, out of place, and sad. At the base of those feelings lay anger, but he wasn’t ready yet to confront his rage and so he wallowed in loneliness instead.

He was so lost in his inner turmoil that he didn’t hear the door open and then close. The soft footfalls didn’t register with him and the feel of arms wrapping themselves around his waist covering his hands startled him. He wanted to spin around and confront the intruder when a soft gentle voice spoke to him.

“I know what it feels like, Erestor. I have stood at this window myself and I too wondered why they had sent me back. I did not want to return to the living, but Manwë left me no choice.” Glorfindel kept the embrace loose so as to not scare Erestor off. He didn’t want Erestor to feel restrained. “I am not the enemy. Not anymore, Erestor.” He hoped the younger Elf would allow him close, although he didn’t deserve that trust, considering the way he had treated Erestor in the past.

Erestor felt conflicted. He wanted Glorfindel’s closeness for it drove away his sadness, but at the same time he wanted to push the blond Elf away and reprimand him for embracing him in such an intimate manner. In the end, he remained motionless and continued to stare at the darkening sky. The clouds had swallowed the largest part of the crescent moon and the Havens were bathed in darkness.

“Things will improve,” Glorfindel promised. “You will feel more grounded as time passes by and less lonely. I will not lie to you though: adjusting to your new life will take time. You will have to say goodbye to the dead and focus on the living.” Erestor’s silence worried him and Glorfindel wished the younger Elf would speak. “Erestor?”

“I did not want to leave the Halls.” Erestor drew in a deep breath and allowed for Glorfindel to continue to hold him. Talking about his death might help him accept that he was alive. “I finally made my peace with my family, you know. Ecthelion and I finally understood each other.” It had taken him centuries to become closer to his brother, who had kept him at a distance for a long time. “He finally accepted that I will never be a warrior.”

Glorfindel carefully pulled Erestor closer to his chest and hugged the younger Elf. He rested his chin on Erestor’s shoulder and joined the other Elf in staring at the sky. “Erestor? How did you die? The last time I saw you, you were with Idril, safe and sound, heading toward freedom.” He had been wondering about that and hoped Erestor would tell him. “You were still so young!”

Erestor gasped in surprise at Glorfindel’s question. He began to turn in the embrace and took a step away from the blond Elf. A look at the blue eyes told him that Glorfindel was sincere and really wanted to know what had happened. Should he tell him?

Glorfindel gave Erestor a pleading look. “I mean it. You can trust me. I will not mock you or laugh at you like I did in the past. I know I was wrong back then. I have learned my lesson.” Erestor turned in the embrace once more and Glorfindel held his breath, hoping the younger Elf would trust him.

Erestor stared out of the window and started to speak. “You are right – I was with Idril and preparing our escape, but then… Morgoth’s troops had found us and Maeglin was blocking our path. I knew Idril was in danger. I had seen how Maeglin had stared at her in the past. I could not let him have her. You understand that, do you not?”

“What happened?” Spellbound, Glorfindel listened.

“I took up the sword and fought the traitor and Morgoth’s troops. I did not stand a chance. I died at their hands.” He had died defending Idril and her son.

Glorfindel swallowed nervously. “You died fighting?” He hadn’t expected that. Erestor had always refused to take up the sword and fight.

“Aye, I did. But I did not go down at once. They struck me several times before I died, but I had achieved my goal. I had bought Idril and our people precious seconds which enabled them to enter the tunnel and escape.” Erestor shivered violently as he remembered his death. Dying had taken him a long time and during all that time, he had lain on the cold stone floor and had been forced to watch how Morgoth’s forces slew one Elf after another – children even!

Glorfindel felt deeply for the other Elf. He had died himself and knew what impact dying had. “You did your best to defend them,” he said, hoping to comfort the distressed Elf. Erestor still stood close to him and Glorfindel reestablished the hold he’d had on the younger Elf a moment ago. Once more, Erestor allowed it and Glorfindel pulled the other Elf closer to his chest. “It is only normal that you went down quickly. You lacked experience and knowledge to keep them at a distance.”

Erestor bowed his head and his raven hair tumbled in front of his face. “I might have bought the refugees more time if I had known how to defend myself. Ecthelion and you were right. I should have learned some basic combat skills.”

Glorfindel cringed. “Nay, Ecthelion and I were wrong. We had no valid reason to pressure you to become a warrior when your heart was so obviously drawn toward music and since I heard you sing, I understand why being a minstrel was your greatest desire. You have a delightful voice.” He regretted being stubborn in the past. “The way of the warrior is not for you, I realize that now.”

Glorfindel’s words should have comforted Erestor, but didn’t. “I made so many mistakes in the past… I disgraced my family, failed to buy Idril more time and…”

“Stop it. You did not make any mistakes. If anyone did, it was warriors like me who failed to defend our home after…” Glorfindel swallowed hard. “Especially after you had warned us. You told us that the traitor and Morgoth were about to attack and Ecthelion and I just laughed at you. We should have believed you, but we did not. Ecthelion and I made a mistake in judgment. A grave mistake.”

Erestor’s shoulders slumped forward and his head remained bowed. “I should have tried harder to convince you that I was serious and that they were about to attack.”

“Nay, Erestor. You did your best!” Glorfindel turned Erestor in the embrace and looked him in the eye. “It was not your fault. It really was not.” When Erestor raised his head and locked their gazes, Glorfindel saw tears in the black pools of sorrow. “It was not your fault,” he repeated. At the same moment, he remembered a time when he had hugged an Elfling who had always looked at him with admiring eyes. That Elfling had been Erestor. “There was a time when I did not feel afraid to hold you and comfort you.”

Erestor remembered that time as well and lowered his gaze. Glorfindel had been his hero back then and he had worshipped the ground the blond Elf had walked on. That was before Ecthelion had destroyed their closeness. “There was a time when I was not afraid to be held by you.”

They stood close and yet they both were afraid to reach out and embrace the other. In the end, it was Glorfindel, the older Elf, who reached out and wrapped his arms around Erestor. “I do not want you to be afraid of me. I never did. I am sorry if I hurt you in the past. I allowed Ecthelion to drag me along.” And he regretted that.

Erestor gasped softly in Glorfindel’s embrace and closed his eyes. He remembered feeling safe with Glorfindel before. “I do not know what to do with this new life. I never wanted it. I had made my peace with being dead and had never expected for Eru to send me back. What am I supposed to do? I have no home, no family, and no reason to live. I feel…lost. Mithrandir told me that I am supposed to become Elrond’s chief Advisor, but why would he trust me? He does not know me!”

Glorfindel smiled ruefully. “It is true that Elrond needs a capable Advisor. He will welcome you with open arms. The only help he has these days is a young scribe, promoted to Advisor called Melpomaen. You at least have some experience being an Advisor.”

“I never wanted to become an Advisor. I wanted to compose music and sing…” Erestor flinched and stepped away from Glorfindel, breaking the embrace he was in.

Glorfindel let him go. “Maybe you can be both? Elrond’s Advisor and at the same time, you can sharpen your skills as a minstrel? You will like Lindir, Elrond’s head minstrel.”

Erestor headed toward the window and sat down on the windowsill. He pulled his knees close to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, and turned his head, which he rested on his knees. “What is Imladris like? Does it compare to Turgon’s court?” he asked, staring out at the dark sky once more. That night was a night full of surprises it seemed. He hadn’t thought Glorfindel would reach out and comfort him.

“You will like it there.” Glorfindel pulled up a chair and sat down close to Erestor. He couldn’t allow Erestor to succeed in shutting him out. Erestor would need him in the weeks to come. “Elrond holds all arts in high regard and encourages all artists to perfect their craft. If you aspire to be a minstrel, he will let you, although he will regret losing a helping hand in the office.”

“He will not force me to be his Advisor?” Erestor finally turned his head to face Glorfindel.

Glorfindel’s heart melted at seeing the somewhat child-like expression on Erestor’s face. /You died too young…/ Erestor had never had many friends, or even a lover, and then he had died and had been confined to the Halls of Waiting. “Elrond is not like that. He will allow you to make your own decisions.”

“Thank you for setting my mind at ease.” Erestor closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He had to survive the night somehow. His head spun, his emotions raged, and he felt adrift. At the moment, Glorfindel was his only support and he hoped the blond Elf wouldn’t desert him since he had started to trust him.

Glorfindel read the questions which Erestor couldn’t voice just yet in the dark eyes and nodded his head once. “I will keep you company tonight. I did not deal well with being alone after my return. Mithrandir kept me company back then.” Glorfindel gave Erestor an understanding look. “Why do you not rest for a while? I will stay and watch over you.”

Erestor rubbed his cheek against Glorfindel’s chest, trying to nod his head that way. “I am too tired to move though.”

“You look comfortable. You can rest like that,” Glorfindel said, inclining his head.

Erestor didn’t bother to open his eyes for he was too tired to do so. Knowing that Glorfindel was close and would watch over him helped him fall asleep.

Glorfindel stayed true to his word and kept close. His fingers itched to stroke the raven hair away so he could see Erestor’s face relaxed in sleep, but he didn’t touch Erestor since he didn’t want to risk waking up his exhausted charge.

~~~

Part 3

Sometime during the night Mithrandir checked on Glorfindel and Erestor. He had kept his distance the last few hours so Glorfindel had a chance to become closer to Erestor. He slowly opened the door and remained standing in the doorway and took in the scene: Erestor was asleep on the bed with Glorfindel watching over him.

Sensing Mithrandir’s questioning gaze upon him, Glorfindel made eye contact with the Wizard. Whispering softly, he said, “He fell asleep seated on the windowsill and about an hour ago, he began to topple over. I carried him over to the bed.”

Mithrandir approached and came to a halt next to Glorfindel. “He looks so young,” he mused aloud as he watched Erestor sleep.

“He *is* still very young.” Glorfindel sighed deeply. “I wronged him in the past, Mithrandir. I am surprised that he accepts me so close and is willing to trust me. I did not think he would.”

“Erestor told me a few things that happened in the past. He told me that he warned you that Morgoth was about to attack and that Ecthelion and you did not listen – that you mocked him instead. Why?” Mithrandir knew Glorfindel as a compassionate and kind Elf.

“Part of it was Ecthelion’s fault,” Glorfindel explained. He felt uncomfortable and ashamed since he had to explain himself to Mithrandir. “Ecthelion disliked Erestor with a passion and because I was in love with Ecthelion, I pretended to dislike Erestor as well. I wanted Ecthelion to like me and never considered the consequences my behavior had on Erestor. He was just a youngster and I did not think much about his feelings.”

“You said you pretended to dislike Erestor,” Mithrandir questioned.

“I liked playing with Erestor when he was an Elfling. I had always wanted a younger brother myself and when Erestor was born, I adopted him. He became a part of my life.”

“What went wrong?” Mithrandir pulled up a chair and seated himself close to the bed.

“Erestor grew up and decided his heart belonged to his music. He refused to train as a warrior and Ecthelion was very cross with him. That was when he started to mock Erestor. And to my eternal shame, I must confess that I went along. I was blind back then…blind and madly in love with Ecthelion.” Had it been up to him, he wouldn’t have minded Erestor becoming a minstrel or an Advisor. Erestor had never needed to become a warrior to please him.

“You are trying to make amends,” Mithrandir stated. “That is what matters. Erestor will need your support in the time to come.”

Glorfindel nodded his head. “I know that.” He recalled how lonely and confused he had been right after his rebirth.

~~~

When Erestor awoke the next morning, the first thing he saw was Glorfindel’s face relaxed in sleep with wide blank eyes. He had always idolized the blond Elf and so savored the sight that greeted him after such a dark and depressing sleep. He had had nightmares about the past and Ecthelion had become his harsh older brother again. The truth was that Ecthelion had mellowed in death. His older brother had gained new insights because he had been forced to deal with the fall out from the way he had treated Erestor. They hadn’t become exactly close, but they had started to build a brotherly relationship. But that was gone and he was all alone on Arda. Well, not alone exactly since there was Glorfindel watching over him.

Erestor pushed himself upright and swung his feet to the floor. Being alive, solid, and able to breathe was still leaving him shaken after having been dead for so long. How was he supposed to adjust to this new life? Was he to play another role, another part in someone else’s life, never able to do what his heart urged him to do which was namely to raise his voice in song? He rose to his feet and walked over to the window. Glorfindel had closed the window the other night and Erestor opened it to let in the morning rays.

The Gray Havens were a breathtaking sight as it was bathed in Arien’s golden rays. Even the Sea shone golden...just as golden as Glorfindel’s hair. Erestor turned around and studied the warrior. He had never thought he would ever see Glorfindel again and during his time in the Halls of Waiting, he had developed romantic feelings for the brave warrior, even though Glorfindel had mocked him in the past. Something had told him that Glorfindel had only done that because Ecthelion had laughed at him.

When he had been a youngster before his majority, he had felt drawn to Glorfindel, but had ruthlessly repressed that desire. He had always known that Glorfindel felt attracted to Ecthelion and would never be interested in someone like him. Glorfindel and Ecthelion had always been close, had always watched each other’s back, and had been friends, if not lovers.

Softly so as to not to wake the still sleeping Glorfindel, he sang. It was a haunting melody and singing it offered his emotions a way out. He sang in a language he had invented and that no one else would ever understand. He had developed it so he could express himself freely and didn’t have to worry about someone hearing him and realized he was singing of unrequited love.

The soft singing woke Glorfindel nonetheless. His eyelids fluttered and a moment later, his eyes regained their alertness. He was instantly awake and searched his surroundings in search of Erestor. He discovered the younger Elf near the window, singing softly. A smile surfaced on his face at hearing the gentle, melodic voice. Erestor had all the makings for a minstrel and he regretted not stimulating Erestor to pursue that career in the past. Ecthelion and he had been blinded by the promises of war: respect, admiration, and fame. They had stopped looking for other things in life that were extraordinary, like Erestor’s voice.

The words that left Erestor’s lips made no sense to Glorfindel and he soon realized that the young Elf was using words which only made sense to him. He didn’t want to disturb the song and waited for Erestor to finish singing. When the younger Elf did, Glorfindel rose from his chair and walked over to the window. “What was it about?”

Erestor tensed at hearing Glorfindel’s voice. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t sensed the warrior approach. “About golden colors in the sky,” he said, feeding Glorfindel a half-lie. He had sung about Glorfindel and the way his hair shimmered when Arien’s rays caressed it. That however was something Glorfindel didn’t need to know. “You stayed. I am surprised you did.”

Glorfindel lowered his gaze, feeling ashamed. “As I said last night, I failed you in the past… I will not fail you again.”

Erestor drew in a deep breath and turned around. “Will we leave the Havens today? Or shall we stay longer?” He didn’t know what he wanted. He couldn’t hide there, he knew that, but he had no desire to become Elrond’s Advisor either, for that meant long working days, much paper work, and little chance to compose.

“We will leave for Imladris later today. I surmise that you would like to bathe first and then we will eat breakfast. I know Mithrandir will.”

Erestor nodded his head. “I will be ready.” It was best to face reality and not flee into daydreams.

~~~

Mithrandir still felt concerned as he studied Erestor closely. The three of them had left the Havens and taken to the road. Erestor was riding a mare they had brought along especially for him. She had a gentle disposition and seemed pleased that her rider was such a friendly Elf. Glorfindel rode a few steps behind Erestor and Mithrandir urged his stallion forward until he rode next to Erestor. “You seem troubled.”

Erestor didn’t react at first. He was still trying to come to terms with his changed existence. In the end, he answered, “I lost control over my life… Not that I ever had any to begin with.”

Mithrandir smiled soothingly. “Erestor, you are still very young and, although music rules your heart, you have more talents which are still hidden to you. Do not feel so defeated. Look upon this as a second chance.”

Glorfindel, riding behind them, listened to every word they said.

“Manwë said that I had to return to the living because certain things went wrong in my first life – that I had not done the things that I needed to do. What do you think he meant by that?” Erestor gave Mithrandir a pleading look. He desperately needed answers.

“I am confident that you will find out in time,” Mithrandir replied. “Do not try to force things. Just allow for them to happen.”

“What choice do I have?” Erestor asked in frustration. All decisions had been made for him by Manwë.

~~~

That night, they made camp in a clearing. Since Mithrandir didn’t sense any threats, they built a fire and gathered around it. Mithrandir had stuffed his saddle bags with food before they had left and was now warming some soup above the fire. His intelligent gaze shifted between Glorfindel and Erestor, who sat side by side. Glorfindel was trying hard to please Erestor, but the raven-haired Elf was still on his guard. It was clear that Erestor didn’t completely trust Glorfindel yet.

“Will you sing for us?” Glorfindel asked when the silence between them became uncomfortable. “I would love to hear your voice again.” He ignored the suspicious look Erestor gave him and smiled warmly at the raven-haired Elf. “I am being honest, you know.”

Erestor however shook his head. “I will not bore you with my singing.” He was determined *not* to fall for this trick. Glorfindel couldn’t possibly *really* like hearing him sing.

Mithrandir looked at Erestor sadly. “Your voice was made to be raised in song, Erestor. The Valar truly blessed you. Sing for us.” Erestor’s self-esteem was low and needed a boost.

“Aye, sing for us.” Glorfindel determinedly nodded. “Sing one of your songs for us.”

But Erestor wouldn’t be swayed. He was resolved not to make himself that vulnerable. “Maybe another time,” he replied and reached for his bowl filled with the steaming soup.

Mithrandir exchanged a gaze with Glorfindel. It would obviously take a lot of time for Erestor to build some self-esteem.

~~~

Glorfindel watched as Erestor wrapped himself up in a blanket as he lay on the forest floor with his back turned toward them. It vexed Glorfindel that he couldn’t see Erestor’s face, for he had the terrible suspicion that the other Elf was crying softly. Glorfindel sought out Mithrandir’s eyes and looked at the Wizard questioningly.

Mithrandir nodded. He too sensed Erestor’s sadness and gestured for Glorfindel to approach Erestor. He would keep watch and make sure no evil noticed their presence.

Glorfindel slowly advanced on Erestor and then knelt beside him. He cocked his head and tried to catch a glimpse of the other Elf’s face. He raised a hand and stroked the raven hair away from the wet face. Erestor was crying all right. Glorfindel then stretched out onto his side and looked at the younger Elf. Erestor had no choice but to return the gaze and Glorfindel saw the terrible amount of pain in the dark orbs.

“What is amiss?” he asked as he moved closer. Carefully, he draped one arm across Erestor’s side. Hopefully Erestor would move closer to him out of his own accord. If not, he had to move closer to Erestor. “You can tell me. I will understand. I have been in your position, you know.”

“I do not know what is wrong with me,” Erestor whispered in-between soft sobs. “I feel confused…lost… I do not know what I am feeling.”

Since Erestor wasn’t moving closer, Glorfindel decided to take the initiative and pulled Erestor closer toward him. “You are trying to adjust to a changed situation. I went through the same thing.” Glorfindel moved until he had established an embrace on the younger Elf. “You will like Imladris,” he said in an effort to distract Erestor. “The Last Homely House lies in a beautiful valley and is surrounded by lovely gardens. The Elves that live there are happy and safe. There is no evil that threatens Imladris and Elrond is a wise ruler. He possesses one of the Rings and uses it to keep everyone safe. The river Bruinen forms a natural defense and keeps all intruders out. It is a place of song, dance, and knowledge. You will feel at home there. It is quite different from the intrigues that you remember from Turgon’s court.” Glorfindel smiled for Erestor’s eyes had attained a blank expression. The raven-haired Elf had fallen asleep while listening to his description of his new home.

“Erestor will be a true asset to Elrond’s household,” Mithrandir commented. “Imladris is the best place for Erestor to start his second life.”

Glorfindel nodded, but didn’t speak. He stared at the face of the Elf that slept in his arms and was struck for the first time by the beauty of Erestor’s features. He became sharply aware of the fact that he wasn’t holding a child in his arms. This was an adult Elf with certain needs.

Mithrandir grinned and his long beard moved along with the movement. /My, is that the reason they sent them back? Is there an attraction at work here? Does it stem from the past or is it new?/ Did it matter? As far as Mithrandir was concerned, this was a good thing for both Erestor and Glorfindel.

~~~

Erestor felt strange when he woke up in Glorfindel’s arms the next morning. The warrior had truly managed to surprise him, by staying at his side almost non stop since his arrival in the Havens. Erestor looked at Glorfindel and saw that the warrior was still asleep. The handsome face was relaxed in peaceful slumber and Glorfindel’s arms were tightly wrapped around him. They lay on their sides and were able to see each other’s face. A rueful smile appeared on Erestor’s face.

He had spent his childhood worshipping the ground Glorfindel walked on and then, when he had finally become an adult, Glorfindel had started to mock him and laugh at him. That had wrecked their friendship and Erestor had always suspected that was the very reason why Ecthelion had started to pick on him. It never occurred to Erestor that Ecthelion might have been jealous of all the attention Erestor had received from Glorfindel. Erestor thought way too little of himself for him ever to consider that.

And now Glorfindel was at his side again. What was he supposed to do about that?

“He has dealt with his disappointment, you know,” Mithrandir said as he knelt at their side. “Elrond tried to warn him that it might not be Ecthelion returning to Middle-Earth, but Glorfindel would not listen.”

Erestor started to free himself of Glorfindel’s hold and, as he did, the warrior woke and blinked. “I did not want to wake you,” Erestor murmured apologetically. He had merely wanted to shift up to talk to Mithrandir.

Glorfindel released Erestor and stretched in a cat-like manner. A smile appeared on his face and then he yawned languidly. Holding Erestor had kept nightmares from him. That night at the Havens he had been afraid to go to sleep since he was afraid he would dream of Ecthelion...an angry Ecthelion who would berate him for taking Erestor under his wing. “Good morning!” Glorfindel pushed himself in an upright position and continued to smile. His stomach promptly growled and he announced, “It is breakfast time!”

“I already cracked some eggs.” Mithrandir pointed at the bowls which held bread and scrambled eggs.

“Good!” Maybe sensing that Mithrandir wanted a word alone with Erestor, Glorfindel moved away from the raven-haired Elf and attacked his portion of the food. In the back of his mind he wondered why Mithrandir needed to talk to Erestor.

“We will reach Imladris tomorrow,” Mithrandir stated after seating himself next to Erestor. He sat on the cool forest floor and his fingers moved restlessly through the grass beneath them. “You should prepare yourself to meet Elrond.”

“What is he like?” Erestor sat upright and pulled his knees close to his chest. Next, he wrapped his arms around his knees and peeked at Mithrandir through strands of his hair.

“He is a very kind Elf, but he is also overworked. He *needs* a capable Advisor at his side.” Mithrandir smiled warmly. “You will like him. I know you will.”

So he was destined to become Elrond’s Advisor then. It probably was best to accept his fate instead of rebelling against it. “What more do I need to know?”

“Elrond is married to Celebrían, a lovely she-Elf who gave birth to twins a decade ago. They are a happy family, Erestor.” Mithrandir’s gaze shifted from Erestor to Glorfindel. The Elf was keeping out of their conversation, but it was obvious Glorfindel was trying to eavesdrop on them. “You will have your own rooms and an assistant called Melpomaen. Do not be too harsh with him though. He is young and falls into crushes easily and therefore scatterbrained.”

“I will not be hard on him.” Erestor was young and in love himself, although he could never reveal his feelings to Glorfindel.

“I will introduce you to Lindir,” Mithrandir added, trying to install some hope of a better future into Erestor. “He is Elrond’s head minstrel and very talented. I am sure the two of you will share your love for music.”

Erestor didn’t dare to hope for fear he would be brutally crushed. “I hope I will like it there.” At least Glorfindel lived in Imladris as well and since the warrior wanted to befriend him, he had one friend there at least.

~~~

Elrond listened as one of the sentries informed him of Mithrandir’s impending arrival and the Elf-Lord quickly ordered the servants to ready the guest rooms. Since Celebrían was spending the afternoon at the Bruinen with the twins, welcoming them to Imladris was his duty and so he hurried onto the courtyard to greet them. The sentry had also told him of a strange Elf traveling in Mithrandir’s company and he wondered if this was Ecthelion, as Glorfindel had been expecting, or someone else. It was time to find out the truth.

~~~

Glorfindel steered Asfaloth closer to Erestor’s horse and smiled at the younger Elf. “How do you like Imladris so far?”

Erestor had to admit the valley was a beautiful place to live. “It is peaceful, beautiful, and very different from Gondolin.” The structure was masterfully situated between waterfalls, a forest, and cliffs. “What is it called again?”

“The Last Homely House,” Mithrandir answered and raised his hand in greeting when he caught sight of Elrond and Melpomaen in the courtyard. “Greetings, my friends!” He dismounted first and embraced Elrond. “It is good to return to your safe haven, Elrond!” It was one of the few places where he could feel at ease.

“I trust you had a safe journey?” Elrond smiled at his friend and then turned to welcome Glorfindel home. The blond Elf had also dismounted and stood next to the horse which carried a raven-haired Elf who looked a bit too young and innocent to be the fabled Ecthelion. “And you are welcome in Imladris as well…”

Erestor swallowed nervously and then slid off of his horse’s back. He was terribly afraid he would fall and land face first in front of the Elf-Lord, but he managed to dismount gracefully. “My name is Erestor, Milord.”

“Erestor…” Elrond’s brow grew furrowed. He had never heard that name before. One look at Glorfindel showed him that his friend had dealt with the fact that it was Erestor and not Ecthelion who had returned from the Halls.

“Erestor is a capable Advisor,” Mithrandir said. “And the Valar know you need one. Since Erestor has been returned to life, he needs a place to call home and the Valar thought Imladris would do nicely.”

“An Advisor?” Elrond felt pleased. “I *do* need the help! Young Melpomaen tries his best, but there is too much work for the two of us!”

Melpomaen smiled shyly at Erestor. “Lord Elrond is right. The work is just too much.” It didn’t help that he was having crushes with a different Elf each day and had a hard time concentrating on his duties.

“I will help where I can,” Erestor promised. He felt a bit more reassured after receiving such a warm welcome. Maybe living in Imladris wouldn’t be that bad.

“You must be tired. Glorfindel, will you show Erestor to his new rooms? They are next to yours.” Elrond smiled at Glorfindel’s pleased expression. Glorfindel no longer seemed obsessed with Ecthelion returning from the Halls.

“I will show him.” Glorfindel gestured for Erestor to walk along with him and led the raven-haired Elf into the house. “You will be lost the first times you try to find your way around, but that is not a bad thing. It happened to me as well.”

“I will try to memorize most of it.” Erestor had an excellent memory and that fact had served him well in the past.

“What was your first impression of Elrond? Do you like him?” Glorfindel guided Erestor through the corridors until they had reached their destination.

“I do. I did not think I would, but I like him.” Erestor looked about. “Your rooms are located in this wing as well?”

Glorfindel pointed at the door to their right. “You can find me right there should you need me.” Glorfindel opened the door to Erestor’s rooms and let the raven-haired Elf enter first. “I hope they are to your liking.” The layout was similar to his rooms and Elrond had each suite luxuriously furnished. Erestor wouldn’t want for anything.

“They are very nice indeed.” His rooms at Turgon’s court hadn’t been this big. “What will happen during the rest of the day?” He turned around and looked at Glorfindel hopefully. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Knowing Elrond as I do, I think he will appreciate it if you show up for dinner in the Hall of Fire. He will not expect you to start work until tomorrow. Maybe you would like for me to escort you to dinner?” Glorfindel wanted Erestor to feel at home in Imladris.

“I would like that. Thank you, Glorfindel.” Erestor smiled warmly at the blond Elf. “Thank you for doing this for me. I appreciate your effort to make me feel welcome here.” He was touched that Glorfindel was trying so hard to make amends. “I always liked you.” That last sentence slipped past his lips unintentionally.

“I always liked you too, Erestor… It was Ecthelion, who…” He left the sentence unfinished, knowing he didn’t have to explain himself further. “I will collect you for dinner then. I suggest you enjoy a bath in the meantime and maybe you would like to rest? Knowing Elrond, he already had your closet filled with robes. You should be able to find a suitable outfit in there.”

“Thank you, Glorfindel,” Erestor repeated as he walked Glorfindel to the door. “I will be ready.” He closed the door behind Glorfindel and actually smiled. Having Glorfindel at his side and supporting him meant a lot to Erestor, who had never outgrown his childhood crush.

~~~

Part 4

“He looks awfully young,” Elrond addressed Mithrandir. Celebrían and the twins had returned from their swim in the Bruinen and were seated close, combing their hair and warming up in front of the fireplace. Elrond always felt happy and content when he had his family close.

“He does not merely look young, Elrond. He *is* young,” Mithrandir retorted. Elrohir had made his way over to him and was tugging at his beard, begging Mithrandir to lift him up and put him on his knee. “Not quite as young as you, dear,” Mithrandir said and lifted Elrohir who smiled happily.

“Why did the Valar decide to return Erestor?” Elrond cocked his head and started to braid his wife’s hair after Celebrían had sat cross-legged on the rug next to him. “Glorfindel was convinced the Valar would send Ecthelion back.”

Mithrandir bounced Elrohir on his knee and tickled the Elfling. Elladan looked at them jealously and settled down in his mother’s lap. Mithrandir smiled warmly at Elladan and hoped the Elfling would feel less deserted. “The Valar have their reasons to return Erestor. In time, you will find out.”

Elrond shrugged his shoulders once. “I am relieved that Glorfindel accepted the situation. Was he not angry when he realized it was not Ecthelion on the ship?” He slid a hair clip into his wife’s silver hair and leaned in closer to press a kiss onto the crown of her head.

“He was mad,” Mithrandir agreed. “It appears Erestor and Glorfindel have a history together. Erestor is Ecthelion’s younger brother and Glorfindel and Erestor need to work through certain matters that happened in their past.”

Elrond gave Mithrandir a surprised look and Celebrían gasped at hearing Mithrandir’s words. It was Elrond who asked, “Erestor is Ecthelion’s younger brother?”

Mithrandir nodded once. “Glorfindel did not always treat Erestor well and I surmise he feels guilty about that now. He will try to make amends.”

Elrond’s eyes had narrowed. “Maybe that is the reason the Valar returned Erestor to life? Glorfindel was also sent back…”

“That might be possible,” Mithrandir agreed. “But only time will tell if we are right.”

“I will speak with them during dinner,” Elrond murmured as he absentmindedly caressed a lock of his wife’s soft hair. “I will find out.”

~~~

Erestor had made quick work of taking his bath and had dressed in new robes, courtesy of Elrond. He had found a large collection of formal robes, leggings, shirts, boots, and house shoes in the closet. He had chosen midnight blue robes with a grey under tunic and now buttoned up his robes. His feet slipped into the elegant house shoes and he made his way over to the vanity. Picking up the comb, he started to untangle his still damp hair. Erestor looked at his reflection and flinched. In his first life, Ecthelion had always pointed out his shortcomings to Erestor. He was too small, too lithe, too elegant, and not much of a warrior at all. Although Ecthelion had made amends in death, those derogatory comments had stayed with him and, as he looked into the mirror, he still felt insignificant and lacking.

He decided to wear his hair down to give it a chance to dry further. He hoped Elrond wouldn’t find it inappropriate if he appeared at dinner like that. Elrond seemed like a nice and compassionate Elf, but Erestor was wary. His past had made him like that.

Running his fingers through his untangled hair, he wondered about his future. He still felt lost, even though Glorfindel was doing his best to make him feel welcome. Only a short time ago, he had been dead and the Halls of Waiting had been his home. Now Imladris was to be his home. Was he strong enough to endure this change?

“Erestor? Are you ready to go?” Glorfindel knocked on the door and waited for Erestor to acknowledge him. He had done his best to look good for the night. Dressed in a blue tunic, black leggings, brown boots, and a white sash around his middle, he hoped he looked stunning. For some reason he wanted to impress Erestor.

“I am ready,” Erestor called out and headed for the doorway. A moment later, he opened the door and gasped in surprise at seeing the vision standing there. “Glorfindel?” The hair shone like gold and the blue eyes sparkled with a mixture of mirth and pride.

Glorfindel grinned. It was obvious that Erestor liked what he saw. “Are you ready to go?” Gallantly, he curtsied and gestured for Erestor to step into the corridor.

Erestor couldn’t help but blush. He closed the door behind him and fell into step with Glorfindel. He felt at a loss and didn’t know what to make of this changed Glorfindel. His old feelings of affection had resurfaced and he realized he was still in love with the blond Elf. How was he going to deal with that?

~~~

Elrond rose from his chair and gestured for Erestor and Glorfindel to approach. “Welcome to Imladris! May I introduce you to my wife, Erestor?”

Celebrían had also risen from her chair and gave the new arrival a stunning smile. “Aye, you are very welcome here.” She raised her right hand and the twins scrambled onto the seat of their chair. Standing there, they smiled shyly at Erestor.

“Thank you for your kind words, Milord, Milady. It is an honor to make your acquaintance.” Erestor felt a bit nervous since he was at the center of everyone’s attention.

“And these are my sons Elrohir and Elladan.” Elrond smiled at the twins and the boys made a bow. The twins had practiced that the whole day, not wanting to embarrass themselves.

“It is a pleasure to meet you too, Elrohir and Elladan.” Erestor smiled warmly at them and then blushed again. Why wouldn’t they stop looking at him?

Realizing that Erestor felt shy, Elrond gestured for his newest Advisor to take his seat next to Glorfindel at the head table. “I hope you feel rested. I would appreciate your help in the morning. The correspondence is piling up and we lack the time to work our way through it.”

Celebrían hoped that Erestor was truly the capable Advisor Mithrandir had said he was for she wanted her husband to spend more time with his family. And maybe, Erestor could occasionally baby sit the twins.

Erestor peeked at Glorfindel and since the blond Elf was smiling at him, he returned the smile. He felt nervous and shy, but it was a good kind of nervous and shy. He had the feeling he would love living in Imladris close to Glorfindel.

~~~

Later that evening, Elrond asked Lindir to sing for them. The minstrel of course obliged his Lord and sang a bittersweet song about unrequited love. Glorfindel had kept a close eye on Erestor from the beginning and saw the tears that dripped from the other Elf’s face. “Here,” he whispered and handed Erestor a handkerchief. It no longer surprised him that Erestor reacted so emotionally to the song. Not since he had heard Erestor sing himself.

Erestor accepted the handkerchief and wiped at his tears. He worried about Elrond’s reaction if the Elf-Lord saw him cry, but Elrond merely smiled understandingly. Lindir’s song came to an end and Erestor quickly put his emotions under control again.

“Erestor has a beautiful voice as well. Maybe he wants to sing for us?” Glorfindel had first addressed Elrond and then his gaze shifted to Erestor. “I would love to hear you sing again.”

Erestor’s blush made a return. Glorfindel had maneuvered him into a difficult position. “I am sorry, but I do not sing in public.” He wouldn’t be able to hit a single note with all those strangers staring at him.

“Maybe at a later time,” Celebrían suggested. “When you feel more comfortable.”

“Maybe,” Erestor replied diplomatically. He was much too nervous to even consider singing for them right now.

~~~

“I am sorry for putting you in a tight spot during dinner. I was not thinking when I asked you to sing.” Glorfindel still remembered the fierce blush that had settled on Erestor’s face when he had declined the request. “I thought you would like to sing.”

Erestor didn’t hold a grudge. “You meant well, Glorfindel. Do not worry about it any longer.” Erestor strode through the rose gardens with Glorfindel in tow. “I like it here,” he admitted as he stopped walking to lower himself on his heels to inhale the scent of a red rose. “I missed this. There was so little time to appreciate beauty in Gondolin.”

Glorfindel came to a halt as well and watched Erestor’s fingertips caress the rose petals. The expression on Erestor’s face touched him and he smiled at seeing the beauty in the dark eyes. Erestor’s beauty wasn’t obvious – not like Ecthelion’s. It was locked up on the inside and sometimes, like when he had sung on the shore, or like the current moment when he was looking at the rose, it surfaced and shone like a newborn star. “Would you sing for me now?” he asked before he fully realized it and sucked in his breath as he awaited Erestor’s answer.

Surprised, Erestor turned his head and looked at him. “Why do you want me to sing for you?” The past still haunted him. The fact that Glorfindel had pestered him to find favor in Ecthelion’s eyes was not yet forgotten.

Glorfindel realized it when he saw Erestor flinch. “I really liked what I heard when you sang in the Havens. I would like to hear you sing again.”

Erestor sat down on the grass and considered Glorfindel’s request. He would sing for Glorfindel, but only if the blond Elf wouldn’t ridicule him. “Are you serious? You will not laugh at me?”

Glorfindel felt ashamed and lowered his gaze. “I will never laugh at you again. I am sorry I ever did.” He sat down on the grass next to Erestor and carefully gathered the other Elf’s hand in-between his. “I am serious. Please sing for me.”

Erestor quivered at the touch and turned his head, afraid that Glorfindel would read his emotions in his eyes. Glorfindel could never find out that he had been in love with him all this time. “Whatever you do, do not laugh aloud.”

Glorfindel squeezed Erestor’s hand and then waited patiently for the raven-haired Elf to start singing. Glorfindel remained silent and watched Erestor sing. The dark eyes filled with rapture and the fingers that rested between his hands trembled with excitement. This was truly Erestor’s calling in life: to sing and not be a mere Advisor. He had made such a grave mistake back then! The sad melody in which Erestor released made him wonder just why the other Elf felt that depressed, but he didn’t break Erestor’s concentration. He waited for Erestor to finish instead.

“That was beautiful,” Glorfindel murmured when Erestor refused to look at him after he had finished his song. “I understand why you did not want to become a warrior or an Advisor. You have a gift.”

Erestor was afraid he had heard incorrectly. Turning his head, he peeked carefully at Glorfindel. Studying the blue eyes, he read sincerity in them. Glorfindel wasn’t making fun of him. The warrior was serious. “You really liked it?”

Glorfindel nodded once. “I hope you will sing for me tomorrow evening as well.”

That caused Erestor to quiver with anticipation. Did that mean Glorfindel wanted to spend the next evening with him as well? “I will sing for you.”

Hearing that answer made Glorfindel happy for it meant that Erestor wanted to spend the next evening with him as well.

~~~

Glorfindel walked Erestor to his rooms and then wondered on what to say. In the end, he said, “I am next door in case you need company. I felt lonely and lost during the first days here so please do not feel uncomfortable calling on me.”

“Thank you for your kind offer. I will remember you said that.” Erestor didn’t want to go inside his rooms, but he also knew he couldn’t stall much longer. Glorfindel’s offer however made him feel more at ease since he knew he had someone to turn to should he feel depressed. “Will I see you again tomorrow?”

“Elrond asked me to accompany you to the breakfast room. After that, you will work in Elrond’s study and I will head for the training grounds. We will see each other again during dinner.” Glorfindel was already looking forward to that. “I shall wish you good night now. Try to rest, even if you can not sleep.”

“I will try.” Erestor opened the door, gave Glorfindel one last smile and disappeared inside, closing the door behind him. Now he had to face a lonely night alone, but the knowledge that Glorfindel was close reassured him. He would try to rest and the next day he would walk the gardens with Glorfindel again. That was a nice thing to look forward to.

~~~

Erestor changed into a night shirt and then walked over to the bed. He pushed down the covers, lay down, and covered himself with the warm blankets. He missed Glorfindel’s warmth and shivered, not due to cold, but because he felt lonely. He stared at the ceiling and realized he *really* missed Glorfindel. He tossed and turned for an hour and then sat upright. He wouldn’t find any sleep this way!

After rising from the bed, he opened the balcony doors and stepped outside. It was a beautiful night and the sky was filled with a myriad of stars. However, it did little to lift his spirit.

“Let me guess… You can not sleep?”

Erestor spun around, surprised to hear Glorfindel’s voice from so close. The blond Elf stood on the adjourning balcony, wrapped up in a warm cloak. The blond hair was tousled because of the breeze that played with the strands and the blue eyes looked much too awake. Glorfindel obviously hadn’t been to bed yet. “Can you not sleep either?”

“I have not been to bed yet.” Glorfindel decided it was time to be honest with Erestor. “I was thinking about you.”

“About me?” Erestor’s eyes grew big. “Why me?” Involuntarily, he moved closer to the balustrade.

“I feel guilty and ashamed for the way I treated you in the past and now I am seeing you the way you really are. I am sorry it took me so long to see the real you.” Glorfindel truly regretted his past actions. “Did you feel lonely?”

Erestor nodded his head. “I like Imladris but everything is new and unfamiliar. You are the only Elf I know here.”

Glorfindel dropped his cloak and began to climb over the balustrade. He balanced a few inches and then jumped onto Erestor’s balcony. “There is no use in both of us feeling lonely.” He gave Erestor a blinding smile. “I shall keep you company, yes?”

Erestor found himself smiling back at Glorfindel. “Yes.” He walked back into his rooms and Glorfindel followed. Glorfindel closed the door behind them and followed Erestor over to the bed, which looked rumpled. Erestor had tried to sleep but had been unsuccessful. “Do you want to rest? Or talk? Or…?”

Erestor sat down on the side of the bed and made certain Glorfindel couldn’t see his flustered face. “I would like to rest…” He felt at peace in Glorfindel’s arms.

“Then we will lie down and rest.” Glorfindel made himself comfortable on Erestor’s bed and extended an arm. “Are you joining me?”

Erestor slowly lay down and inched closer to Glorfindel, who was on his back. Erestor rolled onto his side and pushed close. Glorfindel draped an arm around Erestor’s shoulders and smiled into the dark. Holding Erestor felt good and he hoped the raven-haired Elf felt the same way. “Do you think you can sleep now?”

Erestor nodded against Glorfindel’s chest and the warrior loved the way it made his skin tingle. “I will try to sleep as well. I am tired too.” However, he would make sure he didn’t fall asleep too deeply since he wanted to be able to wake Erestor in case the other Elf had a nightmare. “Go to sleep now, Erestor. We are home.” Glorfindel blinked, realizing what he had just said. *We* are home. What did that mean?

Erestor however didn’t ask himself that question. He had already dozed off, lured into a sense of safety by Glorfindel’s presence.

~~~

The next morning, Glorfindel woke with his arms full of sleeping Elf. Erestor was still asleep and relaxed in his arms. Glorfindel indulged himself and took a moment to appreciate the other Elf’s dark beauty. Sometime during the night strands of their hair had tangled, mixing gold and black. Glorfindel ran his fingers through their entwined locks and smiled. Seeing their strands entangled made him remember a time when he had held another dark-haired Elf in his arms. Ecthelion and he had been lovers, but they had never spoken the vows that would bind them. Being lovers had come natural since they had spent so much time together, but there had never been much passion between them. He had the feeling that things would be different should he have Erestor for a lover. A fire simmered deep within the other Elf and the only time it surfaced was when he sang.

The fact that Erestor remained asleep gave Glorfindel his chance to think everything over. Ever since he had released his anger that Erestor had been returned instead of Ecthelion, he had begun to see the other Elf in a new light.

~~~

Erestor stretched in a feline manner and… Wait, he *wanted* to stretch, but something or someone was limiting his space. A moment later he realized that arms were wrapped around him and his head rested on a rising chest. Glorfindel. Who else could it be? Focusing his gaze, he looked upon a smiling Glorfindel. “Good morning,” Erestor said shakily. He hadn’t thought it possible but his body was waking up due to Glorfindel’s presence and a certain body part rose to attention. Feeling embarrassed, he hoped Glorfindel wouldn’t notice.

Glorfindel however was solely focused on studying Erestor’s features and didn’t notice that the other Elf was sporting an erection. “Good morning to you too. I trust you slept well?” Erestor hadn’t stirred during the night and had slept peacefully in his embrace.

“I did. Did you sleep some too?” Erestor knew he should start moving out of the embrace, but being in Glorfindel’s arms felt much too good and he wanted to savor every moment of it. His head still rested on Glorfindel’s chest and after cocking his head, he could study the warrior’s expression in turn. Glorfindel looked pleased, he noticed. Almost like a big cat who was about to purr his delight.

“Aye, I slept some, but now it is time for breakfast. You do not want to be late on your first day of work now do you?” He gave Erestor a dazzling smile.

“You are quite right,” Erestor agreed. He regretted having to move away from Glorfindel, but he had to wash up and change his clothes and doubtlessly so did Glorfindel.

Glorfindel swung his feet to the ground, rose from the bed, and stretched. “I will be back in fifteen minutes. Will you be ready by then or do you need more time?”

“I shall be ready.” Erestor was already on his way into the bathroom and gave Glorfindel a look over his shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered before closing the bathroom door behind him.

“Nay, thank you,” Glorfindel whispered, but Erestor couldn’t hear him since the raven-haired Elf was inside the bathroom. Ever since Erestor’s return, Glorfindel had felt more at peace than he ever had, including his first life at Ecthelion’s side. He couldn’t help but wonder what the future would bring for them.

~~~

Erestor felt nervous upon joining Elrond and his family for breakfast. He hadn’t known the Elf-Lord would draw him into his inner circle of friends and relatives and didn’t know how to react to that honor. One of the Elflings however solved his problem.

Elrohir made his way over to Erestor and tugged at the blue robes. “Good morning.”

Erestor wished he knew if he was dealing with Elrohir or Elladan. Elrond suddenly drew his attention by raising his hand and mouthing a name. Lip reading, Erestor found out he was dealing with Elrohir. He gave Elrond a grateful look and then sat on his heels in front of the Elfling, who looked expectantly at him. “Good morning to you too, young Elrohir.”

The fact that Erestor could tell him apart from his twin impressed Elrohir and he decided he liked the new Elf. “Will you play with us later?” In the Elfling’s life, everything revolved around food, love, sleep, and play.

“Maybe, if I have the time.” Erestor surmised that Elrond had lots of work for him.

Elrohir looked crestfallen and turned to look at his father. “Please, Ada? We want to play with him.”

Elrond chuckled. “We will make time for it later today.” Finishing the paperwork was important, but playing with his sons was even more important.

Elladan, who was sitting on his mother’s lap, smiled at Elrohir. Their little plan had worked.

Elrohir raised his arm and waited for Erestor to take his hand. The adult Elf eventually caught on and, together, they walked over to the table. Erestor looked at Glorfindel to show him where he was supposed to sit.

Glorfindel gestured for Erestor to seat himself next to Celebrían and then sat down himself. “Do not make him work too hard, Elrond. He is still a bit tired from his journey.”

“Where did you come from?” Elladan asked curiously.

“From the Gray Havens,” Erestor replied easily. He didn’t think Elrond wanted his sons to know about the Halls of Waiting just yet. The Elflings were still too young for that.

“You saw the Sea?” Elrohir’s eyes grew big with excitement. “What is it like?”

“It is a lot of water!” Glorfindel chuckled and grinned at Elrohir. “One day, you will see it too.”

“I want to go to the Sea! I want to go to the Sea!” Excited, Elrohir climbed onto Glorfindel’s lap.

“It is lot like the river Bruinen,” Erestor said, saving Glorfindel from the Elfling’s enthusiasm. “Just more water.” That calmed Elrohir down, much to Glorfindel’s relief.

“Thank you for that,” the golden-haired Elf said. Glorfindel intercepted a look from Elrond, which showed him that the Elf-Lord was grateful as well that Erestor had nipped all that excitement in the bud.

Once his son had settled down, Elrond addressed his wife. “I will see you again at dinner.” He leaned in closer and kissed her lips. Celebrían collected the twins and took them for their first lesson of the day, after which would follow play.

Since the three Elves were alone and no longer interrupted by the twins, Elrond said, “Erestor… I asked Melpomaen to assist us during the day. He will show you how we handle our correspondence.” He would stay close of course, but he wanted to see for himself how intelligent and adept his newest Advisor was.

“Of course, Milord,” Erestor replied and bowed his head.

Elrond chuckled. “You do not need to address me that formally, especially since we will be working together on a daily base. My name is Elrond.”

Erestor gave Elrond a probing look. At first, he had thought that serving Elrond would be similar to serving Turgon, but he realized that he had been wrong. Elrond was much more open and approachable than Turgon had ever been and he suspected that if Elrond had been King of Gondolin, the half-Elf would have taken his warning that Morgoth was about to attack seriously. “I will do my best to remember that, Elrond.” Addressing his Lord in such an informal way sounded wrong, but since Elrond wanted it that way, he would oblige.

“And Glorfindel… What will you do today?” Elrond finished his tea, ate another slice of bread with cheese, and gestured for Erestor to start eating as well.

“I will supervise today’s training session, draw up the new roster, and debrief the patrol that should return later this morning.” Glorfindel dug in and ate his fair share of eggs, bacon, and bread. “I should be able to join you for dinner tonight and then update you.”

“Good.” Elrond had finished breakfast and watched Erestor take tiny bites out of his slice of bread. Erestor seemed timid, which could be a handicap for an Advisor who would be dealing with all sort of visitors. Well, maybe he was wrong and Erestor was just nervous. Time would tell.

Part 5

Melpomaen helped Erestor become organized. He told the new arrival about the Elven realms and their respective rulers. He also explained what their relations were like and that Mirkwood and Imladris were allies at best, but certainly not friends. Things were different where the Golden Wood was concerned and Erestor picked everything up quickly. Together, the re-organized the different piles with letters, reports, and requests and soon they were already working on improving the filing system. Elrond watched closely and the things he saw pleased him. He let the two Elves work during most of the day and only stopped working himself when Mithrandir visited unexpectedly.

Mithrandir closed the door to the antechamber where Melpomaen and Erestor were working since he wanted some privacy. Elrond gave him a curious look, which Mithrandir ignored for the moment. He seated himself opposite the ancient desk and stared at Elrond from beneath his bushy eyebrows. “What is your impression of Erestor?”

“I like him,” Elrond replied. “And he seems to be a hard worker. Melpomaen and he accomplished more today than we would in three!” Elrond poured them herbal tea and offered Mithrandir a cup. While nursing his cup, he studied the Wizard in turn. “What do you wish to talk to me about?”

“There were several reasons why Erestor was sent back,” Mithrandir said in-between sips of his tea.

“You have been rather mysterious about them. Are you going to tell me now?”

“Erestor was never meant to become a warrior or an Advisor for that part. He possessed another talent, Elrond. He has the makings of a master minstrel, if nurtured properly. You are a great patron of the arts so it was decided Erestor should be sent here.” Mithrandir nodded when a frown appeared on Elrond’s brow. “Oh, do not worry, you are not going to lose your new Advisor to his music, but I do hope you can find some balance in having him work here and deepening his craft as a minstrel.”

Elrond nodded. “I will do what I can, although I believe he would be better off having Lindir as a teacher.”

“How you encourage Erestor to dedicate himself to his craft is entirely up to you.”

Elrond sensed Mithrandir was holding back and therefore asked, “Why else was he sent here?”

“Because Glorfindel also dwells here.”

“Glorfindel is supposed to make amends to Erestor then?” Elrond couldn’t believe that was it. There had to be more!

Mithrandir sipped his tea, coughed to rid himself of the uncomfortable feeling that lodged inside his throat, and then said, “There is more to it. Erestor has been in love with Glorfindel for a long time. They were destined to become lovers in their first life, but Ecthelion thwarted those plans. Ecthelion was jealous of the attention his younger brother was receiving and manipulated Glorfindel into disapproving of Erestor’s behavior. Each time he had the chance, he would mock Erestor and manipulate Glorfindel into doing the same thing.”

That was surprising! “I thought Ecthelion was this brave and noble Elf who…”

Mithrandir interrupted Elrond. “Not everything you read in history books is accurate, Elrond.”

“You are right, of course.” Elrond emptied his cup and placed it onto the desk, where drummed his fingers on the wood in impatience. “And what role do you want me to play in all this?”

“Not a role really. I just thought you should know that Erestor is here for many reasons and I revealed two of them to you.”

Elrond nodded again. “I will do what I can to further his education as a minstrel, but I doubt I can play matchmaker as well. If Glorfindel is not interested in taking Erestor as a lover, there is little I can do.”

“Do not worry about that,” Mithrandir replied with a grin. “Glorfindel is already falling in love with Erestor. Now that Ecthelion is not around to stop Glorfindel from becoming too friendly with Erestor, their relationship will deepen automatically.”

“Thank you for telling me this,” Elrond said. “Though I have the feeling you still are holding back.”

“I told you what you need to know, Elrond.” Mithrandir sipped the last bit of tea and then rose from his chair. “I will leave shortly. Maybe tomorrow.”

“I am sorry to see you go, but I know you are needed elsewhere.” Elrond rose from his chair as well and walked the Wizard to the door. “You *will* visit with us again shortly? My sons adore you!”

Mithrandir chuckled as he opened the door. “They give me pleasure in turn. I will return soon.”

Elrond watched Mithrandir walk down the corridor and then checked in with his Advisors. Both were at work and the piles of papers had already dwindled. He decided they would call it a day early and play with the twins before readying themselves for dinner.

~~~

Erestor had little experience playing with children that were so young. He had been one of the youngest Elves at Turgon’s court and had constantly been surrounded by adults. Playing with Elrohir and Elladan was a new experience to him, but one which he savored and soon, he was lost in their imaginative games, not even registering that he was being watched.

~~~

Had it been up to Glorfindel, he would have joined their play at once, but Elrond had kept him back, telling him he wanted a word with his Captain and so Glorfindel stayed hidden from Erestor’s sight.

“I wanted a word with you in private before we join them,” Elrond said and watched Glorfindel closely as the blond Elf’s gaze trained on Erestor instead of the twins’ antics as it normally did. Mithrandir was probably right: Glorfindel was falling for Erestor.

“About Erestor?” Glorfindel tore his gaze away from Erestor’s form and met Elrond’s eyes.

“About Erestor, aye. Mithrandir told me that it is Erestor’s destiny to become a master minstrel. I am a bit surprised to be honest. I thought Erestor was here to become my Chief Advisor.” Elrond wasn’t *that* surprised, since he knew the Valar always had a hidden agenda, but phrasing his statement like that might make Glorfindel talk to him more freely. And at that moment, he couldn’t help but wonder if the Valar’s reason to return Glorfindel to Arda was linked to Erestor’s return. After all, Glorfindel had to be in Imladris for the Valar’s plans to work. /But they were both dead. Why could they not bring them together in the Halls?/ But maybe the Halls weren’t a suitable place for matchmaking.

Glorfindel looked at Elrond guiltily. “Ecthelion’s family was adamantly against Erestor becoming a minstrel. Ecthelion especially pushed Erestor to train as a warrior, but Erestor refused and was sent to Turgon’s Advisor to be trained as a councilor. It was never Erestor’s decision.”

“And what was your part in all this?”

“I played along with Ecthelion. We picked on Erestor.” Glorfindel’s shame deepened. “One night, he appeared before Turgon, claiming the Evil One was about to launch an attack. He had no evidence, but he was convinced he was right and urged us to evacuate the City. Turgon did not listen. Neither did Ecthelion and I when Erestor beseeched us to believe him. Had we believed him, we would have been much better prepared for the attack and a lot more Elves would have survived and been able to flee Gondolin.” Glorfindel swallowed hard and then added, “Erestor died defending Idril and her son. He had never raised a sword before that day, but in the face of danger, he did when many would have just run.”

Elrond smiled. “You like him. You care about him.”

Glorfindel felt caught. “To be frank, I do not know what to make of my feelings at this point.” His face became flushed and he averted his gaze so he didn’t have to look Elrond in the eye when he replied, “Last night, I wondered what it would be like to have him as a lover. I do not understand this myself. He is still so young, Elrond…”

Elrond laughed warmly. “He is older than I am… Years spent in death count, Glorfindel. Erestor is no Elfling.”

Glorfindel shrugged his shoulders. “I do not know what to do.”

“Has it occurred to you that you are falling in love, Glorfindel?”

Glorfindel’s eyes widened. “With Erestor?”

“Nay, with Mithrandir!” Elrond joked. “Glorfindel, think!”

“I am falling in love with Erestor?” He spoke the words slowly and softly and then shook his head, sending his golden locks flying around his face. “I cannot be in love with him!”

“And why is that, my stubborn friend?” Elrond was beginning to enjoy their conversation and grinned.

“Because I was in love with Ecthelion! I still am! I am not in love with Erestor, but Ecthelion…” Glorfindel’s rambling continued as he tried to convince himself that it was Ecthelion and not Erestor whose love he craved.

Elrond chuckled and patted his friend’s shoulder. “You can deny the truth all you want, Glorfindel, but in the end, you will have to face the fact that you are in love with Erestor and not Ecthelion!”

Glorfindel gave Elrond a bewildered stare. This couldn’t be happening, could it? Was he really in love with Erestor? Was he? Oh, damn, the answer was yes! He *was* in love with Erestor! “Oh, by Elbereth, what do I do now?”

“You court him, Glorfindel! You court him!” Elrond squeezed Glorfindel’s shoulder and smiled. Mithrandir had been right then. Glorfindel and Erestor were in love. Now it was only a matter of time before one of them – probably Glorfindel – would act upon it.

~~~

Later that evening, after the twins had been put to bed, the adults gathered in the Hall of Fire to listen to Lindir’s songs. Elrond and Celebrían sat at the head of the main table and divided their attention between listening to Lindir and watching Glorfindel and Erestor. Ever since Glorfindel’s personal revelation earlier that day, the golden-haired Elf sported a confused expression, which wasn’t lost on Erestor either.

Erestor could tell that something between them had changed, but he failed to label the sensation. Glorfindel was still friendly and kind toward him, but something else had appeared in the blue eyes. Although Lindir had an excellent voice and had most of the Elves drawn in, Erestor failed to succumb to the haunting melody. His attention was focused solely on Glorfindel. In the end, when he couldn’t take it anymore, he leaned in closer and asked, “Is something amiss?” He hoped he hadn’t done anything to displease the other Elf.

Erestor’s voice pulled Glorfindel from his musings and he gave the other Elf a confused look. /I love him… When did that happen?/

“Glorfindel? You are worrying me. Is it something I did?” Erestor’s old insecurity reappeared. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing,” Glorfindel said quickly, reassuring the other Elf. “You did nothing wrong. I have just been pondering a delicate matter.”

“Is it anything I can help with?” Erestor felt relieved since Glorfindel didn’t seem displeased with him and was eager to offer his assistance.

Glorfindel wavered on wanting to discuss something so personal in public. “Not here,” he said. “Will you walk in the gardens with me? We can speak more freely there.”

Erestor grew worried again. Glorfindel obviously wanted to discuss something that involved him. Maybe he had done something wrong and Glorfindel didn’t want to bring it up in Elrond’s presence?

“Please excuse us, Elrond, Celebrían,” Glorfindel stated as he rose from his chair. “Erestor and I need to discuss a certain matter.” He grabbed hold of Erestor’s hand and pulled the other Elf along with him.

Elrond smiled and nodded his head. “You are excused.” He caught his wife’s glance and heard her giggle. He had shared his newfound knowledge regarding Glorfindel earlier that day.

“Glorfindel, slow down! What is this all about?” Glorfindel was practically running out of the hall and since the blond Elf had a tight hold on his hand, Erestor was forced to run after him. Glorfindel didn’t stop running until they had reached the gardens. Erestor, panting softly, bumped into the blond Elf and Glorfindel caught him luckily before he could stumble and fall.

They stood close together and Glorfindel realized for the very first time that Erestor and he were of the same height. “Did you grow?”

The absurd question puzzled Erestor. What puzzled him even more was the fact that Glorfindel kept him in place instead of releasing him. Glorfindel pulled him closer and their lips were only inches apart. Staring into the blue eyes, Erestor felt lost. He had dreamt of a moment like this for ages. “Maybe you shrunk?”

Glorfindel laughed warmly and slid his hand up Erestor’s back until he could cradle the back of the raven head in the palm of his hand. “Were you always this cheeky?”

It was true. Erestor felt drunk on Glorfindel’s scent, his presence, and the expression in those eyes. It almost seemed like Glorfindel was trying to seduce him and it was working. Erestor pushed closer, closer still, and then his lips found Glorfindel’s in a passionate kiss.

Had Glorfindel thought Erestor nothing but an Elfling before, or at best a youngster, he now realized his mistake. Erestor’s kiss was firm and demanding as well as inviting. There was nothing shy about that kiss and Glorfindel deepened it.

Erestor was too dazed to question their actions and parted his jaw, allowing Glorfindel to taste him fully. He slung his arms around the warrior’s waist and pressed close, revealing just how much he wanted the other Elf.

Feeling on fire, Glorfindel forced himself to pull back, even though he wanted nothing more than to instigate another kiss. He stared into Erestor’s dilated pupils and realized he had received his answer. “I wanted to tell you something, imp.”

Erestor sucked in his breath, only just realizing the situation he was in. Glorfindel had kissed him and wasn’t pushing him away at the present. That must have meant that Glorfindel had approved of their kissing. “And what is that?”

“I am in love with you,” Glorfindel said, jumping into the deep. “Elrond opened my eyes earlier today.”

Erestor blinked in surprise. “Just like that?” He found it a little hard to believe, although complaining about it was the last thing on his mind.

“Not just like that. I do not think so.” Glorfindel established a tight embrace on Erestor and looked him in the eye as he added, “I always liked you. Had it not been for Ecthelion, our friendship would have deepened.”

Erestor still found it hard to believe, but he didn’t try to move out of the embrace. Since he had what he had wanted for so long, he was going to savor it. He cocked his head and studied Glorfindel’s eyes, which never lied. He had nothing to lose because Glorfindel had already made his admission. It was safe for him to tell Glorfindel about his feelings. “I have been in love with you for a long time. It started a year before I reached my majority, but I never dared to approach you in that way. Ecthelion…”

“He stood between us. I see that now.” Glorfindel slid his fingers through Erestor’s raven hair and smiled at him. “I promise you that no one will ever come between us again. No one.”

Erestor smiled warmly at the blond Elf. “I still cannot believe you love me back!”

Glorfindel understood. “I never gave you a reason to assume otherwise. I am sorry that it took me so long to understand my feelings. I could put the blame on Ecthelion, but I need to admit to my part in the affair. I should have told Ecthelion to treat you with respect yet instead I went along with his mocking.”

“You are forgiven,” Erestor replied with a dazzling smile.

“Those three words mean a lot to me,” Glorfindel admitted as he went down onto his knees while pulling Erestor down with him. Kneeling on the grass, he pulled Erestor close and rested his brow against the other Elf’s. “May I court you, Erestor?”

Erestor’s heart thumped madly in his chest. “Aye, you may. It is my greatest desire!” He threw back his head and laughed before kissing Glorfindel on the lips again. Life was good – better than he had thought it would be when Manwë had ordered him to return to the living. Since he had Glorfindel’s love, he wanted to stay with the blond Elf always.

~~~

Things were awkward when they reached Erestor’s rooms. They were holding hands and, while Glorfindel gave Erestor a hopeful look, the raven-haired Elf seemed a bit skittish. “Do you want to…” Erestor paused and moistened his lips before he tried again. “Do you want to come inside?” The other night things hadn’t been that complicated between them for Glorfindel had kept him company during the night because he had felt lonely and stressed. Now the reasons had changed. Now Glorfindel would keep him company because they were in love and since their love was new they didn’t want to be apart.

“I would like that very much.” The fact that Erestor felt shy and nervous reminded Glorfindel just how inexperienced the other Elf was. He followed Erestor inside and then closed the door behind him. Erestor’s nervousness was increasing judging by the way the other Elf shuffled his feet nervously. “I would also like to hold you tonight.” Hopefully that would calm Erestor down. Glorfindel thought he knew why Erestor had grown nervous. The other Elf probably expected for *things* to happen in their bed that night, but Glorfindel thought it still too early for that.

Erestor sighed, relieved. “Glorfindel, I…” It was time to tell Glorfindel the truth, although Erestor was convinced the blond Elf knew he had never had a lover before, it would only be right to actually tell him. “I have never had a lover…” He swallowed hard since he had made himself so vulnerable. “However, that does not mean I do not want to explore that aspect of a relationship… I do… It is just that I have no experience.” He was blushing by this time and stared at the floor.

“I thought as much.” Glorfindel still had a hold on Erestor’s hand and gently squeezed the fingers. “I am looking forward to teaching you.” But then Erestor raised his gaze and Glorfindel froze at seeing the expression in them. “What is it?”

“My brother and you were lovers. I will be a disappointment to you. I know I will. I do not compare to him, I know that.”

The certainty in Erestor’s voice broke Glorfindel’s heart and he pulled the other Elf into a tight hug. “Erestor, that is not true! Aye, Ecthelion and I were lovers for a while, but I never felt the same passion for him that I feel for you. Things between us were different. We lived in a time of war. We lay together because it was comfortable and we found comfort in each other’s arms, but this is different! It really is!” Glorfindel lifted Erestor’s face with a finger beneath his chin and looked into confused brown eyes. “Be yourself, Erestor. There is no reason for you to compare yourself to him. I am here with you because I want to be. I want to be with *you* and no one else.”

Erestor’s voice was soft and wavered when he replied, “It is hard for me to believe that. You surely understand why?” But the expression in Glorfindel’s eyes didn’t lie and it ensured him that the blond Elf was being sincere.

“I do, but you should try to leave that in the past. You started a new life here -- with me.” Glorfindel tenderly ran his fingers through Erestor’s raven mane. “And you have me…right there,” he added while placing his hand over Erestor’s heart. Erestor had calmed during his speech and Glorfindel guided the other Elf over to the bed. “I am going to hold you and we are going to sleep.”

Erestor had the grace to look a bit disappointed. “Not even kiss?”

Glorfindel smiled. “We will kiss…” It warmed his heart that Erestor had overcome his initial insecurity so quickly. Something told him that once Erestor felt more comfortable with the idea of them becoming lovers that the raven-haired Elf would turn out to be more passionate and demanding than Ecthelion had ever been!

~~~

Erestor smiled happily against Glorfindel’s chest. Glorfindel had obliged him and had removed his clothing except for his sarong and Erestor had done the same. Almost naked, they had snuggled up to each other and Erestor had happily rested his head on Glorfindel’s rising and falling chest. He was happy. When he had been forced to leave the Halls of Waiting, he had never thought anything like this could happen!

“You should sleep,” Glorfindel whispered into Erestor’s ear. At the same time, his fingers made their way through the raven hair and massaged the other Elf’s scalp. “Elrond will make you work hard tomorrow.” And he had to go on patrol. They needed their rest.

Erestor however found it hard to fall asleep. Glorfindel’s skin beneath his fingertips was too much a temptation for the inexperienced Elf and he ran his fingertips across the impressive chest. Glorfindel shivered and Erestor raised his head, giving the blond Elf a questioning look.

“Do not do that again,” Glorfindel whispered huskily. Erestor’s touches were superficial and non-demanding, but they aroused him nonetheless.

Erestor had the modesty to blush, but then he giggled. “Glorfindel, I want to touch you!”

“We should take this one step at a time,” Glorfindel replied determinedly. “There is no reason to rush this.” Erestor looked disappointed, but that didn’t sway Glorfindel’s resolution. “Sleep,” he ordered unwaveringly.

Erestor knew when to give in and rested his head on Glorfindel’s chest again. A nipple rose close to his lips and he had to restrain himself in order not to lick it. But he would respect Glorfindel’s wish to go slow.

“Erestor?”

“Aye?” Erestor raised his head again and grinned at the blond Elf. “Did you change your mind?” he asked wickedly. But seeing Glorfindel shake his head, Erestor realized something else occupied the other Elf. “What is it then?”

“Will you sing for me? Perhaps a lullaby or something soothing?”

Glorfindel’s request surprised Erestor, who momentarily wondered what to say. “Do you really want me to sing for you?” he asked eventually, needing to know for certain.

Glorfindel nodded his head. “Aye, please sing for me. Sing in your own language… Sing in words that I know… I do not mind… Just sing for me… Please…” Glorfindel caressed Erestor’s face and then claimed his new suitor’s lips.

Erestor sighed deeply and his breath floated into Glorfindel’s mouth. In a way, they shared breath until both of them needed to draw in new air. “I shall sing for you,” Erestor announced. He turned onto his side, pushed himself up on his elbows, and traced circles on Glorfindel’s chest. But before he would grant Glorfindel his request, he needed to say something. “It means a lot to me that you accept me the way I am. I always wanted for that to happen during our time in the Golden City. I idolized you, do you know that? I wanted to please you more than anything. I could deal with Ecthelion looking down on me. It was always that way, but not you. I wanted you to like me… I wanted you to love me.” A tear slithered down Glorfindel’s cheek and Erestor caught it on his fingertip. “Do not cry, Glorfindel…” He leaned in closer and returned the kiss Glorfindel had given him a moment ago.

Glorfindel raised his hands and cupped Erestor’s face in them. They kissed and, once the kiss ended, Glorfindel’s face was wet with tears. “When I saw those white sails, I had wanted Ecthelion to return to me. I was angry when I realized that the Valar had sent someone else back, but now I want to thank them on my knees for returning you to my life. I was blind in the past. Thank you for opening my eyes.”

They exchanged a long, deep look and, in the end, Erestor dried Glorfindel’s tears. Then he raised his voice and poured his love and happiness into a song which he dedicated solely to his love.

And Glorfindel understood. Even though Erestor was singing in his very own language, he finally understood what Erestor had been singing about the entire time: namely about his love for him.

The end