You Are Still The One

Title: You Are Still The One.

Author: Morgana

Website; http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl/
Pairing(s): Glorfindel/Erestor, Elrond/Elros
Rating: R
Summary: Elladan happens upon an injured half-Elf with amnesia and Elrond volunteers to care for the poor soul. Elladan is determined to find the perpetrators and endangers his own life/safety in doing so.

Disclaimer: These characters are all Tolkien’s.
Warning: AU.

Author’s Note: Beta read by Aduial, thanks so much! And a thank you to Ilye, for her help.

You Are Still The One.

Part 7

Elladan sensed Elrohir’s growing presence and smiled. “My brother will meet with us in the morning.”

Estel wasn’t surprised to learn this. The connection between the twins had always been strong. “He grew impatient, then?”

“We are seldom apart,” said Elladan, musing. “And when we are, we feel… lost.”

Estel looked at the sky, which was growing increasingly darker. “We should make camp for the night. When traveling in the dark, we present an easy target; especially now that you are still mending from that attack.”

“I am only experiencing a slight headache,” said Elladan, reassuringly. But being honest with himself, he had to admit he would like to rest. They had been riding for most of the day and the trod was gradually worsening the throbbing sensation in his head. /Slight headache?/ That was quite the understatement, but he didn’t want to worry Estel. All he needed was rest.

Estel told his horse to come to a halt. Looking about, he nodded. “This is an excellent spot to spend the night.” Dismounting, he looked Elladan in the eye, telling him with a stern look that he was serious and that they wouldn’t travel further tonight.

Elladan resigned himself to the situation and dismounted as well. The moment his feet touched the ground, he swayed, but was immediately steadied by Estel. “Thank you.”

Smiling, Estel helped Elladan sit down. The horses -- hungry -- began to graze and Estel busied himself with building a small fire. “We don’t want to draw too much attention.” Although he believed their surroundings to be safe, he was taking as little risk as possible. “Here, this is all we have.”

Elladan gratefully accepted the dried meat and old bread and began to eat. Estel handed him the water skin and he drank his fill. Looking at Estel, he wondered about his foster-brother. “I didn’t properly thank you yet for saving my life. If you hadn’t come to the rescue…”

“You should thank Erestor the next time you see him. If it hadn’t been for him reaching out to me, I wouldn’t have arrived in time.” He refused to think of what could have happened had he arrived too late. And no, he wasn’t picturing finding Elladan’s lifeless body. He had arrived in time; that was the only thing that mattered. Elladan unexpectedly leaned in closer and his face now hovered only inches away from his. His breath caught and he smiled involuntarily. Although he had accepted a long time ago that Elladan and he could never be, he would always have a weak spot for the oldest twin.

“But it was *you* and not Erestor who killed the Orc,” whispered Elladan, sensually. He had finally found a way to repay Estel for his help earlier. He pressed his lips against Estel’s, tenderly kissing the Ranger. He clearly caught the soft sigh that escaped from Estel’s mouth into his and smiled gently. “Thank you.”

Estel’s eyes sparkled with pleasure. “You are more than welcome.” After a moment’s hesitation, he added, “Do you have any idea how long I have fantasized about that?”

“About me kissing you?” Elladan chuckled, wickedly. “For quite some decades, I reckon.”

“Ah, you knew, then?” Estel wasn’t really surprised. “You choose not to act on it?”

“I don’t return your feelings, Estel,” replied Elladan. “In time your heart will belong to someone else, and I am not meddling.” Although he hadn’t told anyone -- except for Elrohir that was -- he had inherited his father’s gift of foresight and he had seen glimpses of the future, which had revealed Estel and Arwen’s love to him.

“I can accept that,” said Estel, “and please forgive me my curiosity, but your heart… Does it already belong to someone?”

Elladan flinched and hoped Estel didn’t notice his sudden discomfort. “Aye, it does.”

“But you aren’t telling me.”

“Nay, I am not giving you his name.” Elladan gave Estel a long and thoughtful look.

“You saved my life, for which I am grateful, but please don’t pry any further. Trust me, it is better for you to not know.”

“I will take your word for that,” said Estel, pondering everything he had learned. “A change of subject, then?”

“I would prefer to sleep, my friend. My head still hurts and rest would help.”

“Of course. I should have thought of that.” Estel wrapped an arm around Elladan and they made each other comfortable, leaning in to find warmth and support. “But I want you to know that I will always cherish that kiss.”

Elladan smiled, ruefully. /I know Arwen and you will be happy, Estel. There is no place for me in your life. You will have your own family -- and a son. I, however, will never have a mate or an heir./ Saddened, and growing depressed by this line of thinking, he closed his eyes to lock out his surroundings and forced himself to fall asleep.

During the night, Estel held Elladan close -- keenly feeling the half-Elf’s pain and thusly watching over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I am never letting you out of my sight again!” Glorfindel was determined to make certain that Erestor could never leave him again and had climbed onto the poor advisor, straddling his hips and laying atop of him. He rested most of his weight on his knees and elbows as to not crush the exhausted Elf. “Please, Elbereth, don’t let anyone enter.” He would be the laughing stock for days, but did he really care? Not as long as Erestor was safely cradled beneath him. “Never… You are mine now and I am possessive.”

/Oh, I recall you being possessive, my dear./ Ecthelion had obtained permission from Námo to keep an eye on the two Elves. Finding Erestor in the Halls of Waiting had shocked him and had urged him to watch over the dark-haired advisor. And there was also the ‘small’ matter of Erestor confessing to Glorfindel about the blond’s rebirth. It was about time Glorfindel learned the truth, and he was here to ensure Erestor told the blond.

“Erestor? Wake up? Please? You have been sleeping for hours! I am lonely… I need you!” Glorfindel had been trying to wake Erestor for the last half hour -- unsuccessfully so far. Now, he was going to try emotional blackmail. Maybe his words would penetrate the deep recesses of Erestor’s subconscious and urge him to wake up. “Erestor? Love? Please… I need you.”

Invisible to Elven eyes, Ecthelion stood in the corner of the room, chuckling. He remembered Glorfindel pulling that one on him as well in the past. Glorfindel could be wicked and manipulative if it suited his needs. /And this time the ‘victim’ is Erestor./ Studying the bits of Erestor he could see beneath Glorfindel’s form, he reminisced on the fact that the advisor and he looked much alike. Glorfindel’s taste in lovers hadn’t changed as much as the blond might think.

A soft sigh tumbled from Erestor’s lips and caught Glorfindel’s, as well as Ecthelion’s, attention. The dead warrior grew alert, knowing he wasn’t invisible to the advisor, as it was necessary Erestor saw him.

“You… hea…vy…” One of Erestor’s eyes opened and focused on Glorfindel. Finding the blond this incredibly close almost took his breath away, and he deeply inhaled the other Elf’s scent.

“Oh, I am so sorry, love.” But contrary to his apology, Glorfindel didn’t move, entranced as he finally looked into Erestor’s dark eyes again. “I worried about you. I was afraid you would leave me.”

“And… that’s why… you are… atop of me… now?” Erestor shifted minutely beneath Glorfindel, equally entranced by having his beloved this close. “Water?” His throat felt like sand paper and he craved a drink.

“Hm, that implies me moving off of you, doesn’t it?” And Glorfindel wasn’t really inclined to do so. But seeing the pleading expression in Erestor’s eyes, he knew what he had to do. “I am only moving off under protest.” He shifted, and then moved off of the bed. Sitting on the edge, he reached for the tea pot and poured some of the still hot liquid. “I reckon tea is fine too?”

Erestor, who still felt weak, managed to push himself into a reclining position. Leaning back into the pillows, he studied Glorfindel. He felt light-headed and incredibly weak, but he was alive, a fact that stunned him. “I died.”

Glorfindel dropped the cup and the porcelain shattered into shards when it hit the floor. Wide-eyed, he stared at Erestor. “You what?”

Realizing his admission had shocked Glorfindel, Erestor felt guilty. “I shouldn’t have said that so directly.”

“You… died?” Glorfindel swallowed. A lump of emotions had formed in his throat at learning this. “But… Námo would never allow you to leave again.”

/Be careful what you tell him, Erestor,/ said Ecthelion, who now moved closer to the bed, revealing himself to the weakened Elf. /Keep me out of this./

Erestor sucked in his breath, finding the specter standing at the foot end of his bed. “You?”

Worried for his beloved’s state of mind, Glorfindel looked over his shoulder. “There is no one else in here, Erestor.”

/Glorfindel cannot see me,/ supplied Ecthelion. /Only you can./

“Why are you here?” Erestor trembled and reached for Glorfindel’s hand for support. Thoughts of drinking his tea had deserted him, finding himself face-to-face with his former rival.

“Who is? Erestor?” His worry increased and Glorfindel reassuringly stroked the inside of Erestor’s wrist. “Please talk to *me*, love.”

/I am here to make certain the lies between Glorfindel and you will stop. You need to tell him you brought him back./ Ecthelion’s expression softened, seeing Erestor’s distress. /He once asked you why you always feel cold. Why you are tired constantly, why the mere act of farspeaking exhausts you in this manner. You owe him the truth. The whole truth!/

Glorfindel’s brow furrowed with concern. “Erestor?” He inched closer to the shaky advisor and ended up sitting next to Erestor. Slowly, he brought his arms up behind Erestor’s back and then pulled him close, rocking him gently. “Don’t think of the Halls of Waiting. Don’t torment yourself in that way.”

Erestor frowned against Glorfindel’s shoulder, whilst his gaze remained locked on Ecthelion’s transparent form. /I cannot tell him./

/And why is that?/ Ecthelion raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. /What are you afraid of?/

/I am afraid of losing Glorfindel,/ admitted Erestor. /I am afraid of what his reaction will be when he finds out it was my life force that brought him back to life. I don’t want him to stay with me out of guilt or pity./

Ecthelion shook his head. /You fear too much./

/Maybe./ Erestor briefly closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of Glorfindel’s fingers combing through his hair.

/I won’t leave here until Glorfindel knows the truth, Erestor. He deserves no less./ Ecthelion’s heart ached with remembrance, seeing Glorfindel shower Erestor’s raven hair with butterfly kisses. Millennia ago, the blond had pressed those lips onto *his* hair. But he couldn’t feel jealous, or even cross. Glorfindel and Erestor had found love -- true love -- and he was happy for them. /But I will allow you to do so in your own time./

Erestor sighed deeply, which immediately caught Glorfindel’s attention. “Are you still thirsty? I can fetch a new cup… Or spring water.” He wanted to help -- soothe -- be there for Erestor in whatever possible way. When Erestor looked him in the eye, Glorfindel became apprehensive, seeing tears lurk in the chocolate brown depths.

Erestor managed to compose himself. Ecthelion was right, of course; Elrond had told him countless times to be honest with Glorfindel, but he had lacked the courage to follow through. “There is something I need to tell you.”

Glorfindel’s heart missed a beat and his eyes filled with an expression of dread. “Please don’t tell me that you have changed your mind. Please tell me you still love me. I couldn’t bear being rejected now.”

“Hush, love, it is nothing like that.” Erestor moistened his lips and looked Glorfindel in the eye. “I love you. I have always loved you and I *will* love you until the day I die.” Glorfindel’s relieved sigh wasn’t lost on Erestor. “I need to tell you something else…” He grew quiet again, unable to speak the words.

/Erestor, tell him!/ Ecthelion had moved closer and gave the advisor a stern look. /Or I will haunt your steps forever./

Glorfindel was absolutely clueless as to what was going on, and his distress increased. “What is it, love?”

Erestor partly freed himself of the embrace so he could make eye-contact with the blond. Ecthelion was right; Glorfindel didn’t deserve any less. “Elrond called out to Námo, requesting your return.”

Glorfindel nodded once. “Aye, he told me so.” Why was Erestor bringing this up now? The subject obviously caused Erestor to be upset and he was about to suggest they stopped discussing this when his beloved addressed him once more.

“But Námo demanded a price be paid for your return.” Erestor paled and fidgeted with the corner of the sheet.

“A price?” This was new. Glorfindel blinked in surprise. “What sort of price?” He hated the fact that Erestor was trembling against him and wished he could take away his beloved’s distress, but apparently Erestor needed to get this out into the open and he couldn’t blame him for not wanting any secrets between them. Erestor had already kept this from him for much too long.

“Aye, a price…” Erestor shivered and averted his eyes; his courage deserting him once more.

/Tell him. Glorfindel will understand./ Ecthelion tried to encourage the wavering advisor and lent him some of his strength. He saw how hard coming clean was on Erestor, but he also knew how important it was Glorfindel knew.

“In order for you to return to Arda, life energy was needed. I sacrificed a part of me to bring you back.” Erestor bit his bottom lip and inched away from Glorfindel who had tensed against him. “That is why I feel cold all the time. That’s why farspeaking exhausts me these days. I have little of my life energy left.”

Glorfindel shook his head, shocked. “You did *what*?”

/The whole truth, Erestor,/ sent Ecthelion, catching the advisor’s surprised expression. /Tell him everything./

/I don’t want to!/ But Erestor obeyed eventually. “I had too little left to bring Ecthelion back as well. I wanted to… I tried… But I almost died myself and Elrond had to call me back.”

Glorfindel panted softly. “You tried to bring him back with me?” He had never known!

“But I failed. I know how much you love him and --”

“Erestor!” Glorfindel grabbed the advisor’s shoulders, momentarily forgetting he was dealing with a weakened Elf. All he cared about was getting through to Erestor. “You almost died bringing me back to life! What were you thinking?”

“I love you,” offered Erestor, softly. “I love you so much. When Námo proposed this deal I didn’t need to think twice about it. I would have been content to watch you and Ecthelion had I been strong enough to ensure his return as well. All that mattered to me was having you close again. And Elrond needed you. He needed you so much!”

Glorfindel was still in the throes of shock and simply stared at the dark-haired Elf in his arms. “I cannot believe you risked your life to bring me back.”

“It was a small price to pay for having you close again.” Erestor smiled, shyly. He rested his head against Glorfindel’s shoulder, melting into the embrace.

“And yet you never told me. You never told me about your part in my rebirth… or that you loved me. Why?” Glorfindel tenderly stroked Erestor’s raven hair.

“I didn’t dare risk it. I wouldn’t have survived being rejected and I didn’t want you to be with me because you pitied me, or felt guilty.” Tears built in his eyes.

“Oh, Erestor, you should have told me!” Glorfindel shook his head at such folly. “Erestor?” He placed his fingers beneath Erestor’s chin and lifted the Elf’s head so they could look each other in the eye. “Thank you for bringing me back. Thank you for bringing love back into my life.”

Erestor’s worries slowly faded. “I love you, Glorfindel.”

“And I love you.” Glorfindel considered putting his feelings into words, but then realized that no words could convey what he felt for Erestor. So instead he leaned in closer and tenderly kissed Erestor’s lips -- confirming their love all over again.

Ecthelion smiled, happy for them, and then Námo’s call came to him; the Vala was calling him back to the Halls. Before he left, there was one more thing he wanted to do.

/Be happy,/ he sent to Erestor as he moved across the room. /Accept Glorfindel’s love./

Erestor watched as the specter brushed ghostly lips over Glorfindel's brow, undetected. The love that Ecthelion felt for the blond was palpable, and Erestor realized how much he had given for Glorfindel's happiness. /I will, Ecthelion. I think I finally understand. I will let him love me and I will love him back./

Ecthelion smiled and bestowed one final caress to Glorfindel's cheek. The next moment, he vanished from the room, leaving the happy couple alone.

“Erestor? I want to make you a promise,” whispered Glorfindel into Erestor’s left ear. After bestowing a cat-like lick onto the arch, he added, “I vow that I will keep you warm -- forever.”

That promise brought tears to Erestor’s eyes and they flowed down his cheeks.

“Are you crying?” What had he done wrong? Shouldn’t he have said that?

“Aye, I am… But they are tears of bliss, Glorfindel. I am so happy and hearing you say that…” He had felt cold for so long!

Again, words eluded him, and Glorfindel kissed the top of Erestor’s head instead. “You will never be alone, feel unloved, or cold again.” Glorfindel pulled Erestor as close as possible and held him tight. From this moment on, he would love Erestor and see to his lover’s every need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir came upon his twin and Estel in the morning. Ignoring Estel for the moment, he jumped from his horse and ran toward Elladan, who was still comfortably seated against a tree. “You scared me! Never do that again! What were you thinking going after those Orcs on your own?”

Elladan caught Elrohir when his brother knelt beside him and wrapped his arms around his twin’s trembling form. To his right, Estel snorted in amusement and Elladan gave his foster-brother an admonishing look. “Hush, brother. I am all right.”

Elrohir pulled away slightly so he could study his twin. It was true; Elladan seemed unharmed. “But I felt your pain!”

“Estel freed me and I have healed from the injuries those vile creatures inflicted. Stop worrying about me, Elrohir. I am tougher than you think!” Although he tried to smile Elrohir’s concerns away, he was deeply touched that his brother had come after him. “I am sorry I left your side.” Things always seemed to fall apart when they were apart. “I will stay close to you from this moment on.”

Estel was watching them, and after a frown had appeared and then vanished on his brow, he realized the truth about them. But did Elladan and Elrohir know themselves? /It is not my place to tell them. If they haven’t realized their love yet, they will in time./ Estel smiled, turned away from them and readied the horses for their departure. There was no doubt in his mind that the twins would discover and admit their love one day. And when they finally did, love would rule supremely in Imladris.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elros listened to Elrond’s steady breathing, which told him that his twin had fallen asleep sometime during the night; a night that had exhausted both of them.

Memories still reappeared in his mind, revealing more of his past to him. When the Orcs had found him he had been on his way to Imladris. His parents had told him it was the best place for him to live, being half-Elven. His mother hailed from Imladris and had told him to seek out Lord Elrond. He had left them with a burdened heart as he loved his parents dearly. They were farmers, honest and hard-working people and he would have been content to remain with them, if it hadn’t been for that unrest in his heart. Somehow, he had always known that his destiny lay elsewhere.

And now that he had found his destiny, he couldn’t look at his twin because these accursed bandages kept him in the dark! Raising one hand, he fumbled with the bandages and a few moments later they began to loosen. Elros awkwardly pushed them away from his face and they slipped over his head and onto the pillow. Cool air brushed against his eyelids, which were still tightly closed. Did he dare open them? What if he was blind? What if he could never see Elrond again?

His eyes hesitantly opened and he blinked when Arien’s bright beams momentarily blinded him. Slowly his eyes grew used to the light again and he made out a dark form cradled against him. Tears built in his eyes when he finally recognized his twin’s features. Elrond was still soundly asleep and unaware his twin had regained his eyesight. Elros planned on keeping it that way for a few more minutes. He wanted to study his twin.

The first thing he noticed were the lines, deeply etched into Elrond’s brow, which spoke of loss and suffering. Life had been hard on his twin. Even in his sleep, a deep frown remained etched onto his forehead and Elros was tempted to smooth it away with his fingertips. But he stopped himself in time, realizing such an action would wake his brother.

The gray eyes were closed in sleep. Elrond and he had always slept with their eyes closed and he wished for them to open in time -- but not just yet. His fingertips slowly caressed the long, dark strands of his twin’s hair. Seeing the knots brought a brilliant smile to his face. This had started during their early childhood. He had always teased Elrond by putting those knots into his hair. Getting rid of them again usually took Elrond quite some time. /And now he puts them in himself?/ Was it Elrond’s way to remember him? To keep him alive in his memory?

Elrond had grown old -- a fact that worried and surprised him. Elves were supposed to be ageless, but Elrond’s suffering clearly showed on his facial features. /And he is fully Elven now./ He recalled them making their choices and he still heard Elrond pleading with him to change his. /I had to make that choice, gwenneth. My path led me away from you. I never wanted to let you go, but I had to./ On his death bed Elrond had sought him out, declaring his love all over again, regardless of the fact that his twin had grown old, gray and as good as blind. Was it Elrond’s love that had brought him back?

“Elros?” Elrond’s eyes opened and met his twin’s. “What?” Where were the bandages? Concerned, he wondered about the consequences now that the eyes were no longer sheltered, but then he realized Elros was actually looking at him -- seeing him! “Gweniaur…” whispered Elrond, breathlessly, finally able to recognize his twin’s facial features, which were a mirror image of his. A younger mirror image, less wrinkled and worn.

“Aye, I see you, Elrond,” said Elros, confirming his twin’s suspicions. “And my memory has also returned to me. I was on my way to Imladris when those beasts caught me. I wanted to live here; my mother had told me to seek out this place and its master. I would have asked of you to be allowed to stay here. We would have met under completely different circumstances.”

“I wish I had known you were on your way. I would have sent out an escort to keep you safe!” Elrond carefully placed his hands on either side of his twin’s head and looked deeply into Elros’ gray eyes, which were of the same color as his. “I have missed having you close, Elros. I am still trying to understand -- to accept that you are back in my life again. I thank Ilúvatar on my knees for this gift.”

“Oh, Elrond, I remember *everything*,” said Elros, moistening his lips and closely monitoring his brother’s reaction. “And I really mean *everything*.”

Elrond’s breath caught. “You do?”

“I remember doing this…” Elros leaned in closer and pressed his lips onto Elrond’s. “I remember doing other things as well and I want to do them again.”

Elrond’s heart thundered madly in his chest. “I…” Unable to find the right words, he allowed Elros to claim his lips again. This time a more possessive kiss took his breath away and he closed his eyes in surrender. /I love you still./

Elros smiled, happily. /I don’t know why I was returned to you. I don’t know the greater plan of this, but for now I am content to hold you and love you back. And I promise you something; I will stay with you forever and when my time to choose comes I will ask to belong to the Firstborn. /Twin sighs left their lips as they snuggled closer and resumed their kissing.

A dream, which Elrond had never thought could come true, *had* come true after all. He had Elros back – his twin *and* his first lover.

The End.

April 2004